Sofa Sloth

Yes this! There is a plethora of LuLaRoe options out there for you. Message me for info or join my FB group or live event! How about LuLaCarly floral tent (as favoured by sister wives star Mykelti?) No arm restrictions there, (your biggest issue will be just locating your arms in all that clingy polyester). If all else fails, you could upsize the jacket to one of Truleys kid range she sells? I’d love to help you find a solution though because we want to see you there! #livingmywhy #becauseIcan #lulacarly #parowanfashion #sisterwivesprimetimerconvention #enterprener #bossbabe #truleysellstoobutiwouldpreferyougivemeyourmoneynother

Faux activism that is actually a sponsored post for GoDaddy. Typical. Wouldn’t volunteer to do anything worthwhile, unless getting a quick buck for it. I loved the shout out to her insect animal loving dad in the post, it brought back fond memories of him being stung by the wasp that time and being so dramatic, when Truly also got stung and barely made a peep. (I’ll also add she got stung at the expense of king Sol from memory whom he chose to save from the nest first instead of Truly. Standard Kody operating procedure. Anyway I digress). Someone wrote in the comments:

Exactly. Since she quite her job, she should have all the time in the world, to actually craft a decent picture. What is so pressing in her life, that she has to rush a post to the extent that her fans (and future sales victims) get treated to this pointless, lazy, blurry selfie? They say a picture is worth a thousand words, I’ve got only a few for this one and none are complimentary.

Who doesn’t love this age of entitlement. When you think you’re so cute and special, you can just post a completely no effort, blurry, stupid faced selfie complete with horrendous grammar and spelling and STILL have a thousand plus adoring fans reward you with ‘a like’?! Seriously how long does it take to think ‘hmmm that photo quality sucks and is blurry, I’ll quickly snap another to post instead’. Put some damn effort into your public persona woman! Honestly who is liking this stuff? Don’t encourage her laziness! ( @Gothish520 I’m taking a leaf out of your positivity book and going to try complimenting as much as I can, ok I cheated and it’s a backhanded compliment, but ow well I’m trying 😉) - At least Mariah has her pictures in focus! Good job Mariah.

I’m sure we’ll all continue to ignore you and talk over you as you try repeatedly struggle to get attention and declare yourself ‘the General’. Just a thought, maybe try to get your eye make-up as well done as this, to enhance your dark scowling and scare us all into submission? I have high expectations of you to match this look.

I’m 32, but I’m hoping I can still be included in the COL club as a ‘Cynical Old-soul Lady’. I’m already jaded and sick of the world’s shit, who knows how bad I’ll be in 30+ years. Look out if you even enter my neighbourhood then, let alone step on my lawn! Anyway, I’m hoping the group is inclusive enough to allow me join despite my questionable ‘old’ age. I also own ‘queer’ converse and vans sneakers if that helps with entry, (granted neither are pure white), they just are my standard, weekend, mum-life footwear on rotation, I had no idea I was still so cool and woke until recently. That was a thrill.

Love this plan. Maybe we could find an unattractive brick wall or a garage door to pose in front of, if all else fails as the Browns have shown time again, this works nicely as a backdrop to classy photos.

Exactly. They seem to find all the money in the world to have elaborate parties and fun trips, but zero to pay insurance and their mounting taxes. Totally irresponsible grifters. Here comes the next round of quiet bankruptcies.

Reading this caption and viewing this pic the phrase ‘just because you can doesn’t mean you should’ comes to mind. Those shoes do not go with such a casual look T-shirt at all IMO regardless of matching colour. If she wanted to be matchy matchy she could have just donned some queer white sneakers here and it would be marginally better. Save the orange clomper heel booties for a nice Lularoe floral tent dress instead Mer.

I guessing Maci, it’s because without a certain someone/something you are dull as dishwater and there’s just no storyline to film. When is the penny going to to drop for these girls, that the reason they are still on TV is to capitalise on the trainwrecks and drama in their lives? The show can not be sustained on her and Hubby sitting on the couch popping beer caps and chatting about their clothing line while the kids are at school and daycare or cute occasional trips to the zoo. Hell, it can barely be sustained as it is, but not many are watching for those mundane moments sorry Maci. We all have our own lives with ‘cute chaotic family moments’ in them. We want the drama and the shit show tea from our reality TV ☕️

I had thought of another little activity to keep us occupied, we can ask Kody’s mum Genille (spellingk?) for her Christmas caramels recipe and we can have a contest to see who can replicate them best! Winner is first in line for a spot under Meri’s downline on the next Lularoe cruise! 🚢 Runner up gets a free gastric bypass also courtesy of Lularoe.

Definitely. If you could just make sure you adhere to the modest is hottest rule and wear a long-sleeved turtle neck underneath your evening gown, that’d be great.

No way you got Sam to come!? I’m definitely going to etch his name in my arm before I arrive, I don’t know about you but my walls are coming right down. I’m so proud of all your efforts here ladies! It’s like the wise prophet Kody once said, ‘We have a lot of parties! I don’t want this to be just a party, I want this to be a Classy celebration!’ I think we are well on the way to achieving this based on the plan thus far.

I do think I missed my calling. Sorry to take over control of the project a bit there and self-appoint myself the bridezilla. The Meri is strong in me. Box dyes are brilliant idea! You can come already faux jet black or auburn (preferably with showing blonde roots) or bring a box along. I can add to the activity list, we’ll perform mass hair dying there, (hopefully Lizzie’s heritage inn has a decent size bathroom to use as a salon? Can anyone confirm?) AMAZING ideas! Nancy will be there so a supervised therapy rock tower will be ideal. If we do this activity though, it’s important to remember we need to think of the whole sisterwives primetimer family when constructing and not just our individual relationships in the group! Fillings are easy hurt and we don’t want to ruin our annual trip with petty jealousy. Time capsules using hair dye boxes is on the activity list ✔️ I would like to propose we pen own letters of self-improvements we wish to make of ourselves to put inside. Regarding the big ticket items to raffle, Assault rifle and MacBook are great choices, I’ve taken the liberty of adding an engraved watch, a Westminster scholarship and claddagh ring to the list, I hope that’s ok? I’m not sure why you’re just wandering around aimlessly not actually achieving anything here, but I think you and I are going to have to go see Nancy together. You can take your own car. This is all brilliant! It’s on the list ✔️ The alien cats are all yours if you’re sure?Just remember to choose wisely though as Lularoe don’t offer refunds due to being a pyramid scheme. So thanks everyone for the excellent ideas, keep them coming! I’m currently trying to order huge Phoenix type necklaces from My Sister Wives Closet for y’all as parting gifts (and some metal goth-looking leather cuff links for any Misters attending) but the website is down currently. So annoying, It’s like it’s a hobby business or something! If y’all haven’t chosen your leggings, please do so soon before the pyramid crumbles and we’re left with only the heritage dress or queer shoes option. Failing that, you can always to go to the store and get something like this the day before for $50. Your choice.

I didn’t even notice the lips but those cheeks though! Girl looks like the damn Joker here. Worry about getting your botox for the five head babe and step away from the fillers. Also how is she only mid twenties? She looks positively middle aged!

Did Dimitri actually use the word ‘expired’ when referring to his tragic co-stars passing. Seriously!? 😳 I know now is not the the time to snark, but damn man, get some tact and a clue already. That word is surely only suitable to use, when one is talking about mouldy food.

I almost fill like there needs to be a new thread created for the annual Parowan convention. I just have so many big plans and I’m far too invested. First I’d just like to say, it’s a costly trip and I get we don’t have the TLC or MLM coin to rely on. If anyone needs help remortgaging their home to make this trip happen, I know a banker in St George. So let’s talk music! - I’d really like a bagpiper to welcome us in with a rousing rendition of Scotland the brave. I also thought perhaps we could invite Christine to sing after dinner (or maybe even the angels if they’re available and not too busy at Coyote pass? 🤞🏼) Can’t you just see us all out on the porch, watching the sunset awkwardly with each other like Meri and Kody, with the sweet soothing sounds of ‘let me caall you sweeeeeethearrt!’ massaging our ears. Ok decorations, So I’m thinking we should all hand-make flower bouquets from our cut up wedding dresses to bring along and I’ll kindly request Bonnie source the tins from Janelle and Meri’s failed craft project to put them in. This brings up another important decor choice we must make though. Chargers or placemats for the table settings? When I phone Bonnie, I’ll also ask if she could have the usual linked fairy lights strung up in advance, I know it’s not quite the cult de sac, but if she could perhaps attach one string to the decrepit house next door and one string to the pretend B&B Kody wanted to build from scratch on the empty lot across the road, it would at least give us something to dance under. For entertainment we’ll have the life sized piñatas of ourselves to beat that @LilWharveyGalkindly offered to bring, (but FYI I’d only like mine filled with Mexican candy please, not that generic white people American stuff blehhh). Maybe we could all do some yoga or a soul cycle class or even some cooking during the day if Mariah is available to instruct? I’m guessing it will likely clash with the one day a year she’s busy washing her hair though. We could use a motivational speaker also, but I know Robyn can’t make it due to being busy holed up in her mansion avoiding her sister wives, monogamists and bushfires, but oh what I wouldn’t give to hear the ‘stealing of the purity’ speech in the flesh! Ah well, does anyone have the number for therapist Nancy in Vegas? In terms of check out time, I’ll check if pawn shop Chris could organise a closing ceremony event with a frisbee arch toss from Parowan locals as we are leaving. Oh and if anyone requires babysitting for children during the event, Mindy (and possibly Annie) are now free. Ok that’s it for me for now. If anyone has any further thoughts to make the event a raging success I look forward to your input.

Ya know, I fill it would work with your hiking boots. They are symbols of inclusivity and equality after all and wouldn’t discriminate on what shoe they are laced on. Go for it!

I am keeping my mouth firmly shut on cake flavour as I didn’t know what you’d prefer and I didn’t want to influence your opinion when cake tasting. But ok it’s your event too, hazelnut sounds great! Nice choice of leggings, I’m really seeing the vision you have there, Have you considered pairing the van crotch leggings with a shapeless American Paraphernalia shirt, some vintage earrings and an extremely tight ring also? Just a bit of inspiration, I’ve seen it done before and it looks quit nice.

I know I remember that well too, it was in a TH she ‘just had a feeling someone else was coming, a tingle’. The other wives were all laughing ‘Robyn, you made Janelle tingle ‘. Just another example of the contradictory Browns who change the story to suit the day. I’m sure she likely hoped the person coming, was not a young thin trophy wife who had no income potential and three more kids in tow...

Yes! Excellent idea with the stick on nails and fancy hats. I will have to try and contact Hannah and Mykelti/Aspyn to take preorders. I like your style of combining the dress code for maximum impact of Meri-like edginess! (May I respectfully suggest rainbow theme shoelaces and your queer white sneakers to complete the look?) Yes it does help, I want the thing like Elk groom cake sized. I can’t wait to stick my fork directly in it’s middle and eat it before it’s been nicely sliced (ala Fat Tony etiquette).

Wow! Yes! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that! We’ll definitely require a taco truck 🌮 Probably need a cake too right? Some elaborate tree like or animal creation worth around $8,000. Maybe in the shape of an ESA dog or one of the famous flagstaff trees? 🤔

Wonderful! Great to have you back on board. I’ll be bringing my very real Ragdoll cat Woolyum all the way from Australia and the airline better just suck it up and let him wander the cabin for hours walking over people, playing with their headphone cords and attempting to eat off their dinner trays, because I have anxiety and he needs to be with me. If they have a problem or try and place him in the cargo hold, there will be a nasty twitter or Instagram rant coming their way 😉 Ok venue ✔️ dress code ✔️ ESA approval ✔️ Next order of business - food! Cinnamon rolls are a breakfast given, but how do y’all fill about mock tapioca pudding for dessert or ‘Tony’s chicken cordon blue’ as a main? I’m sure Janelle would have many other rockstar menu options and obviously Mariah is a self appointed chef so we can’t discount her opinions? Let’s discuss...

Absolutely! Faux ESA’s are very welcome but only on the proviso that you will publicly bash the airline involved in transporting you both to Utah.

I must confess I went looking for this mission statement last night out of curiosity. I wanted to know how they managed to fit Princess Ari on there or whether she just is left off? (as if I recall rightly at the time Janelle was worried about ‘If it’s on canvas we can’t add more family members’... And Kody replied ‘do you really envisage we’d add another wife at this point?’ to which Janelle zings back with that awesome slam, ‘well I don’t, but then we never saw Robyn coming either sooo...’) Anyway then I came across this site https://www.kodybrownfamily.com/ ughhhh cringe. The funniest part on it, is the shameless promotion of their MLM with a link to their green goo, right there next to all their family updates and kids bios - ‘choose your green drink’ These people are so tacky.