SnarkEnthusiast

The narrative pacing of this season is really bizarre. Every third episode returns to one plot that could've/arguably should've been a C-plot with (almost) zero reference to any other plot. Not to mention the tonal whiplash: "Nail salon! Papi and Angel almost date but just kidding! Woops, Electra killed a dude. Candy was murdered. But Damon and Ricky get along now! Next week Pray might die but hey, maybe the stress will drive Papi and Angel to finally fuck!" This episode was light but also light on substance. Damon and Ricky are still very juvenile and it makes their plots kind of annoying even when they get along. Ricky has a cute smile though. Swoon. I'm surprised they didn't get canned immediately for the obvious homoeroticism during their TV shoot lol. Papi is supportive, but stupid, to hinge him having sex with Angel on her presumed modeling success, haha. They just need to drag them having sex out until the finale. How's that plot resolution going to go? "I know you were willing to drop me for CVS fame last month, but you booked another drugstore makeup campaign and/or we're filled with existential fear because our friends are dying, so let's bang!!!" They need to build them back up a little first, with Angel hopefully making it clear how much Papi means to her, because it still feels a bit like Angel is toying with Papi out of boredom/low self-esteem. Also, Angel the actor (Papi) playing someone who's in love with a character named Angel must get SO confusing during scenes!

Jonathan's behavior is pretty typical of standard dating hypocrisy. If someone you're not attracted to won't stop pursuing you, it's "They're pressuring me and making me uncomfortable! Why won't they just respect that they're not my type?" But then as soon as you are the one attracted to someone who obviously isn't into you, it's "They're leading me on! Why can't they see I'm what's best for them?!" Clearly Jenna and Kai didn't watch last season when everyone sat with their perfect match at the final ceremony and then went back to the house and celebrated by having sex with whoever they'd been dating the whole time LOL. I think Jenna was just using the algorithm as an excuse to break up because she knows that they aren't good for each other and won't last, but Kai's very dramatic resistance gets her motor running and is sucking her back in.

oh man please please don't take this personally but this made me laugh. You think Baldcap Jerry Seinfeld has BDE??? Of course everyone gets an opinion, but some 35-year-old weenie who wears a sunhat and blurts out "I love you" to some rando sunburnt woman he's known less than a week because she made him cum (and likely professed this alleged love during said climax) screams more "adult virgin" than BDE, imo.

Jenna and Kai aren't that deep - they're just turned on by fighting and now it makes them horny they're not a match and pissing off the house by continuing to fuck. The Notebook this isn't. Nour really revealed herself to be a giant asshole this week. Calling Paige an ugly ostrich would be immature for a sixth grader. She's got major narcissism and control issues. I hope Amber and Paige are a match just to spite her. Jonathan is shady with drunkenly kissing Basit and saying they could be a match and then arbitrarily picking Brandon "because he looks like that." Basit, I repeat, please love yourself!

Maybe I'm alone in this, but that episode was excruciatingly boring. I didn't watch the first block, and I'm clearly behind because I had no idea who Davia was and spent the majority of the episode not only mistaking Dennis for her current boyfriend, but being profoundly disturbed that he likely fucked her mom before they got together. I feel like her mom's take on the body positive movement was actually a pretty common one, not that her opinion was right, but the show was really laying it on thick In making her some sort of mustache twirling evil caricature. And of course she doesn't just fat shame, she is also slutty. Because of course she is. Callie just sucks. The writers must really be pandering to high school/college viewers because there's no way someone who attended law school and graduated would be foolish enough to still be running around like a 16-year-old social justice warrior. There is being true to character and then there's outright naivete. Not to sound old because I'm only 27, but the mindset that your own moral superiority trumps everything in any given situation just doesn't work in real world environments. You have to learn to pick your battles. It was hilarious that she accidentally walked in on her superiors shit talking her. Mariana is in the world's least riveting love triangle. I don't get what she sees in her boss. And immediately after getting out of an awkward inappropriate workplace dynamic after being outed dating her subordinate, she thinks it's a good idea to flirt with her boss? So all the men in her office either root for her failure because they hate her or help her succeed because they're attracted to her? Uhhhh, the writers are definitely missing their own point with the whole "woman takes on a male dominated industry" thing. Now that you mention it, having the rest of the characters outside of Callie and Mariana only appear on a rotating C-plot basis is kind of annoying.

Well, Candy definitely went out with a bang trying to shank Pray with a butter knife in a diner. This episode was depressing as fuck, but had good intentions. I'm going to push back a little against the glowing reviews and say the execution was a little self-indulgent and ham fisted. It makes since that Pray would hallucinate/be visited by Candy because he feels guilty about their recent antagonism (same applies to her parents), but spending a third of the episode on half a dozen characters having individual sage wisdom sessions from the Ghost of Candy was definitely a case of diminishing returns emotionally. What is this, A Christmas Carol? And since when were she and Angel so close? And talk about the irony of helping your friend cover up a murder one week and becoming the body the next. I liked that they thought to redo her hair and makeup (but didn't complain to the nice undertaker) and of course her post-mortem lip sync swan song.

This show makes me so thankful nudes weren't a thing when I was in high school. Sad to see Rue's sister following her footsteps. Nate is a calculating bastard. Maddie and Ye Olde Carousel Masturbator are the worst actors on this show by far. I still think Jules is using Rue as a security blanket/backup option. It's a little smarmy to conveniently decide to reciprocate immediately after your Plan A went south. I was glad the "misread situation" with Kat's crush was her jumping to conclusions about his coworker, rather than her being friendzoned again. But was fucking the townie necessary???

Adopting polyamory would be peak Callie, since she has a new crush every three weeks, can never drop a love interest, and is obsessed with giving them all just enough attention to ensure that they'll stay infatuated and prioritize her random whims over any subsequent long-term relationship if they dare to try and move on. I'd like to see her pitch being in a throuple to Gael and the other dude, but Callie strikes me much more as a "I'm dating other people and you're going to be ok with it" type of poly.

Sure, I'll try to help! All of the contestants are bisexual so anyone could theoretically end up with anyone, which is supposed to be the appeal of this season, but seems to be throwing most viewers for a loop. Kai is the only self identified transgender person in the cast (female to male). Paige is just a skinny, androgynous cisgender (the term for "not transgender") girl. As a bisexual woman with a growing preference for women, I can see how it would be possible to think that some of the participants are actually gay, especially with the men because we equate any effeminate tendencies in men with homosexuality and in general society is skeptical that men can even be bisexual, and that bisexual men only identify as such as a stepping stone to being gay. On that note, I felt bad for Basit - it's obvious that Jonathan has a lot of issues with internalized homophobia and especially disgust with femininity in men, As he went on and on about how he only likes femininity in women and could NEVERRRR be attracted to a feminine masculine person. Only BIG BEEFY BRAWNY BEEFCAKES for him! Which is ironic because Basit is actually very fit and muscular, but Jonathan can't deal with Basit wearing skirts and eyeshadow. Basit was right to call out Jonathan for basically suggesting that he should be with Danny because they're both effeminate. At the same time, Basit picking Jonathan at the match ceremony was stupid. Dealing with dating biases sucks, but you can't guilt trip or lecture or bully someone into being attracted to you, and you should respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than constantly trying to convince someone to see you that way.

Yes! The way they showed the woman skulking around after Jack made me think she was involved in a plot to expose him as a fraud, so I was relieved when it was revealed that she was just another mega fan expressing gratitude for Jack reviving the Beatles' music and shepherding it back into pop culture.

This is a thoroughly delightful film. Himesh Patel has a really endearing, easygoing presence both in terms of chemistry with his fellow actors and performance. And hey, he's a pretty good singer, even if Summer Song won't be burning up the charts anytime soon. My favorite character was his oddly sweet lazy friend lol. The execution of the romance was a little clunky and seemed to be Ellie obsessing and convincing Jack that he had to have feelings for her, but their overall chemistry was sweet. Parts were a little bit of a tongue bath for Ed Sheeran, but I really enjoyed his role too. My one nitpick is Kate McKinnon's character felt out of step with the rest of them - mostly because she plays the exact same zany, bug-eyed SNL character in everything she's in. Her handful of insulting one-liners were amusing, but I found her distracting. She seems to find herself hilarious, which kind of sucks the oxygen from a lot of scenes.

Zendaya as Rue still feels very "Disney star trying to break away from typecasting by picking the most gratuitously explicit role possible" but the breakdown was very good. My favorite part of the episode was the dick pic classroom lesson. The cutaways to Jules were so funny. Pay pigs are very much a real, and confusing (imo), subset of kink. Surely you can just jerk off the the fantasy of someone degrading you without draining your bank account? While Kat's in risky territory and her camming will inevitably go south, it's nice to see her gaining some confidence. Her fantasy about fucking the store employee was funny. Hopefully soon she'll hook up with that guy from bio who likes her. Her financial situation must be dire if she can't afford a $3.50 grapefruit. I agree. Jules is very one-dimensional manic pixie dream girl right now. But at the same time, she seemed caught off guard by Rue's romantic interest in her, so the lack of early romantic chemistry could just be attributed to her being so boy crazy and Grindr obsessed that she has never considered girls as an option before. Rue and Fez have great chemistry (not to mention he seems much more mature than Jules), but the writers are also probably very aware of their Gen Z audience. Tumblr has been losing its shit over Rue/Jules as a pairing for weeks, so even if Rue is bi, there's no way the writers would risk viewer outrage by passing up the progressive optics of Rue's potential gay relationship with a trans girl in favor of pairing her with a white guy.

Regardless of what you think of Hannah, "I fucked in a windmill" has to be up there in terms of iconic Bachelor franchise quotes.

Well, this show was never great but that was an impressively bad finale. So Dean has been a bumbling teddy bear the whole season and becomes a menacing murderer overnight with zero warning? Holy plot holes, Batman. Their sex scene was one of the most disturbing I've seen, which was especially disappointing as she was so excited to finally have healthy, not-escapism sex with someone she cared about. Jess and Felix are cute, but hitting Too Dumb To Live territory.

Matt could be totally justified in shunning them - the problem is that between the editing and Matt's continued references to the divorce as the reason he cut ties, it makes him look like an overgrown toddler throwing a tantrum out of spite and someone who has a weird degree of entitlement and control issues over his parents' lives. Though I'm sure both the experts and Amber/Matt themselves will try to draw parallels, his situation is nothing like Amber's. Her mom moved states without warning, leaving her in a single parent household and (according to Amber) seemingly caring very little about maintaining her relationship with her daughters. For a 13-year-old girl, that would be devastating and I'm sure resentment his simmered for years. But she still invited her mom to the dress shopping, wedding, etc. Matt's parents got divorced when he was a self-sufficient 29-year-old man living abroad. He didn't grow up in a broken home and the divorce had zero impact on his income or stability or daily life. I think he very vaguely alluded to his dad cheating, but if that's the case, why punish both? There's clearly more to that story.

Well, it definitely looks like Kai will be this season's Zak. He's the same brand of gleeful, shit eating fuckboy. Testosterone must be a hell of a hormone if it makes you so uncontrollably horny that you need to fuck someone else an hour after the girl you just had sex with went to sleep - lol, he's so full of shit. His girl (name???) is going to become the new Morgan if she doesn't wake up soon. I think Kai is still high off both men and women now perceiving him as irresistibly sexy as a man, which I'm sure would be a big anxiety prior to transitioning, so I can't fault him on that front, but he's still kind of a shitty opportunistic person. I guess this show is the perfect playground to revel in your male puberty. It was super fucking rude of him during the match ceremony when Danny was listing all Kai's qualities that he found attractive and Kai wouldn't even make eye contact before totally brushing him off. We found the one person in the house Kai doesn't want to bang! I don't get all the fuss over Nour, who just seems okay. Amber was practically peeing on her (not like that, Remi) to mark her territory from the minute they talked. It read as very desperate and off putting. Then Justin got all pissy with Nour for "wasting his time" with one date/make out and a confirmed non-match...chill bud, it's not like you were dating a month. Kylie is the cutest girl in the house to me personally and I think she has good chemistry with both Kali and Basit. I saw Paige on Tinder a few weeks ago lol so it's so weird seeing her on the show. She seems very awkward and I'm not sure any of the women will have the patience to hold her hand through socially coming out, as she basically admitted having zero experience with women (which seemed to turn Jasmine off on their date). It makes me laugh that most of the guys in the house all seem to share a little torch for Justin.

Wonderful analysis. I love this. I just hope the writers can execute it in a way that values Papi's character and isn't just Angel using him for comfort/settling for him when her flash in the pan fame burns out. It would be unfair to him if he's on the sidelines hoping to be her security blanket whenever her career has a hiccup.

Well, I never would've thought the Angel/Papi romance would be a B-plot to manslaughter cover up, but I guess that's just this show for you. Hiding a body was surprisingly a fun romp in the park compared to the lead balloon of Angel walking all over Papi. Who would've thought murder would depress me less than romance! Re: Angel/Papi, That just… wasn't what I was expecting in the most disappointing, underwhelming way possible. Yes I'm being slightly overdramatic and I'm sure that they will course correct by the finale, but I've been giddy with excitement over how they'd finally hookup for weeks. They are both such happy, lively characters and I was looking forward to how their dynamic would evolve. The whole thing was so weirdly melancholy the whole episode, from their first kiss onward. It almost felt like when two characters hook up after a funeral, but it was only her modeling competition. Papi's visceral desperation for love was physically painful and honestly made me sad. We often think of Angel as the insecure character, but Papi is outright begging for anyone to show him a shred of affection. Angel had barely pulled away from kissing him (which, by the way, Indya Moore really went for lol that kiss went on forever and looked sloppy) before he's frantically reassuring her that he loved it and already rambling on about how she's his dream girl or whatever. That sudden declaration that he's had a thing for her ever since he first saw her really threw me for a loop because as much as I've always enjoyed their friendship and now their chemistry, I never picked up on a romantic vibe last season. But, they also really wasted no time in making Angel look like a fickle asshole. I don't understand how in the span of what, four days and a scene or two the show's attitude towards Papi went from "Papi is Angel's number one source of support and she doesn't know what she'd do without him" to "Papi is beneath Angel and being with him will destroy her career before it starts." The shot of him waiting alone outside the restaurant with flowers really broke my heart into 1 million pieces. I'm not looking forward to this next stretch of episodes of Papi pining and sulking while Angel swans around thinking her shit doesn't stink. Although Papi's multiple monologues about Angel suddenly being his one true love are a little overbearing and excessive, her cutesy, flippant reaction to his little speech sticking up for himself and asserting his self-worth made my heart sink. Papi's too good for her. Love yourself!!!!! He gives her so much emotionally and right now she's too intoxicated by the prospect of fame to care. This isn't as fun as I was hoping. That little hallway kiss though...a tiny window into their real potential. So soft. So tender. I swooned. I know I thirst over Indya Moore constantly, but man, Angel Curiel is sexy as fuck. Wish he'd kiss me like that. I digress. Moving on, an unexpected byproduct of the body disposal storyline was that this was the first time ever that I've enjoyed Candy as a character. I didn't even mind the sketchy silicone dealer. So if this Electra plot is based off the Dorian person mentioned up thread, she's just going to keep the body forever and there's not going to be a resolution? Fair enough I guess, as I was just coming in here to say that this plot is completely absurd and I had no idea how they could progress it realistically in any other way besides Electra going to jail forever, but it's true that real life is sometimes stranger than fiction. That's certainly one way to humble a character. Again, even if the body just stayed there undetected, I'm not really sure where they're going with this and surely the secret will be leaked at some point. Is this going to turn into a How to Get Away with Murder situation where they all form a pact and have to keep moving the body around so it doesn't get discovered? It was a surprisingly nice character moment between between Blanca and Electra when Electra tried to shield Blanca from further culpability. Blanca spends so much time mothering everyone else and cleaning up after Electra that it was odd but refreshing to see someone else (let alone Electra) trying to protect her for once.

Amber is an eighth grade teacher who talks and acts like her students. She strikes me as a bubbly "BFF" teacher who connects to her students by acting like a peer, but that "look and me I'm so quirky and cute yay!!" attitude is apparently her entire personality. Harassing him for kisses every two minutes and hanging all over him like a needy drunk girl at prom is certainly...something. She's awfully unbothered about acting so horny for someone who has to face down a class of teens, probably because she's still about 15 emotionally.

I was also a little disappointed that an episode featuring both a love theme and Angel/Papi performing as Romeo and Juliet did nothing to advance the chemistry between Angel and Papi when they're obviously being set up as the central romance of the season. I realize they haven't built up enough sexual tension yet to break it, but I thoroughly enjoy their sparks and little flirtation. I thought this week's themes would lay natural groundwork for that, but instead all we got was 45 seconds of corny Damon/Ricky foreplay.

We needed way more Angel and Papi! I was not happy that they were swapped out for Damon and Ricky's middle school fighting. I'm just not invested in them, although I was glad they're negative. Angel chewing them out was great too. Angel Curiel and Indya Moore pack so much life into even little background shots, like peering around the doorway to watch drama. This episode was kind of middling for me. It simultaneously felt like filler and cramming all the inciting incidents of the season into one episode. Angel Curiel knocked it out of the park with Papi's reaction to Blanca having AIDS. Strongest moment of the episode and made me tear up a bit. You could really feel his palpable despair and devotion. It was especially heartbreaking because you got the sense he was trying in vain to convince himself he can prevent the inevitable if he only cares for Blanca well enough. Everyone in Evangelista has had their moments of bratty entitlement, but Papi is really a goodhearted, loyal, ride or die dude at the end of the day. Papi is my absolute favorite character. I love how much he appreciates everyone who loves him. So if Electra has the dominatrix cash to flounce around renting luxury apartments and bankrolling her own custom engineered ballroom fantasy team, why bother crawling back to Candy and Lulu at all? And boy, did Evangelista's numbers dwindle quick! Last week it was filled with extras and this week she's down to three kids. Okay. The supposed issue of Blanca not passing kind of came out of nowhere and certainly felt like a plot device (there's no way that bumbling meathead would ever clock her, let alone before the real estate lady), but I appreciated the conversation between her and Angel about the unconscious benefits of passing in society. I'm sure it dictates the acting opportunities for all the actresses in the show as well. I don't think it's a coincidence that Indya Moore has seemingly gotten the biggest career boost out of this show so far, although her acting also certainly warrants the attention. Every marginalized community unfortunately has beauty standards that serve to unconsciously reaffirm superiority of the mainstream, but for trans people, not conforming is especially dangerous.

I am STOKED for this bisexual free-for-all, although the sheer number of possible combinations and accounting for differences in individual gender preferences will make strategy next to impossible. Count me in!

A big part of it is sexism - it's not "manly" to be a male virgin, which is why you still get horror stories of men forcing their sometimes barely pubescent sons into sexual scenarios. Women who are virgins are seen as chaste, disciplined, and outright morally superior, which obnoxious Iris has eagerly latched onto to make herself seem better than other women. In contrast, male virgins are mocked as socially awkward shut-ins who are bound to be shitty in the sack. Off topic, but I'm assuming the (second) blonde sexologist got booted for boning Jon?

I did the same, but still have OG scheduled to record, so I peeked in and regretted it. Cheyenne, give it up. Corey's been banging reality show girls since 2013, your vagina isn't as magical as you were hoping and it definitely isn't powerful enough to cure fame ho. Also, not to be shallow, but Taylor's (Corey's Taylor, not Pube Beard Taylor of Bud Light) is really hot. Maybe instead of mocking her 4-year-old's speech impediment, Cate should send Nova to speech therapy. Also "I realized I don't NEED you. I'd be fine if you divorced me. I'd be a badass mom on my own." Puh-lease. You just got done bitching that your preschooler is too clingy. She'd be halfway to Arizona before Ty could pack a bag.

Even my mother, who only half-watches, asked "Their editor just said they have a huge deadline at the end of the day, so she went for a walk with the new girl, and now she's just leaving in the middle of the day again to go have sex with the other one?" I wish my work was cool with me having spontaneous booty calls with my ex on the clock!