red12

In re-watching the episode tonight with my husband, I was struck by the boldness of Ray (75?) telling his wife of over 20 years on national television that he thinks he loves her in the manner he did. Even in a marriage of relatively equal resources and ages, it is the act of someone prepared to burn it down and walk away if it comes to that. But, as an elder who is married to someone 20 years younger who still has earning potential and frankly more entertaining relationship options, it's extra bold. He is either 100% sure (whether accurate or not) that Karen will never leave or he thinks he doesn't care. If Karen leaves, I believe Ray will absolutely grow to regret the moment we witnessed in this episode. He is not at the life stage where he will be trading up no matter what may have previously been the case for a "Black Bill Gates". The tables have definitely turned and I don't know that either party is completely aware how much.

I'm not a fan of that because as I have stated earlier this is not the first franchise where a physical altercation took place. The "we aren't those kinds of Black women" type of points made by some of the cast in media reek of classism, respectability politics and internalized anti-blackness ("Don't act up. White people can see us.") There is space in 2020 for these housewives to be as shady and awful as the characters in any other franchise. In general, some black people need to wake up and realize that the racists don't care what you do, how pretty you are or how well you speak, you are still inferior. Stop trying to earn being viewed with full humanity from people who have no interest in ever seeing it in you. Monique's actions have nothing to do with any other black woman. Anyone who cannot see that is unworthy of conversation or consideration.

Gizelle could also use a session or two about her colorism as well.

Maybe Monique has the same representation as Theresa, both of the Joe's, Danielle and Margaret on RHoNJ because all of them are still on the show after physical fights that were included in episodes. Physical altercations are nothing new to Real Housewives.

Multiple things can be true.

It is rare in these days and times to feel the shock of a statement they way I felt this revelation.

I'm glad someone else does not have a good experience with Lauren's voice. I actually don't enjoy her performances at all. I understand every character should not have a Broadway caliber voice but, I had to fast forward through the funky get down attempt with Renee Elise Goldsberry because the second hand embarrassment was just too much.

I don't think a sitcom should be this hard. If it requires the type of exposition involved with This is Us and assumptions of backstory not provided in any episode to make this one decent, it's bad. The writers know they have about 18 minutes to entertain and communicate an idea. They need to do better.

It can't be more than Cynthia on RHOA.

Lord knows I was talking loud enough from my couch. "Button that jacket back up boy. You are not sitting down." He seems like a decent guy but, it felt like he was trying very hard to come off as cool and charming. Lastly, what were those vows he and Taylor said? They sounded like Jr. High kids writing about what they think love is. I wonder if they have ever been in a romantic relationships as adults.

I appreciate you taking the comment in the spirit it was intended. Sometimes I worry about tone in these discussions since we are all basically strangers.

Although I agree with much of what you said, I will take issue with the hip comment. Some people (including me and I suspect Emily) were born with hip sockets that will wear out quicker than others. In my case, I have genetics, years of ballet, competitive cheerleading and a high pain threshold that may have caused me not to know I had a hairline fracture to thank for the additional stress on my hip. My Ortho along with others talk about the fact that hip replacements will be more common in Gen X and younger because we were/are so much more intensively active starting at younger ages than older generations. So, in case anyone else in here hears this same diagnosis much younger than they thought they would, it's not actually that uncommon or a sign of poor behavior. Additionally, chronic pain can cause someone to overeat as a way to comfort themselves. It's not the greatest coping mechanism but, it can help one power through daily activities and stresses while in physical pain.

In addition, I generally do not think super skinny spaghetti straps are attractive on us ladies with large chests. Even when the dress fits properly, those little straps always look a wing and a prayer from snapping and the breasts look overwhelming. Teenage girls can sometimes get away with the look but, it's still not the best. Wider straps alone or with a t-back can be very flattering on larger chests though.

Is it me or wasn't there a previous episode where Dave mixed in so well at the barber shop that Calvin got jealous? So, why did the writers act as if that never happened? They could have done something funny without making Dave's behavior so cringe inducing, right?

I think you are very kind to Shannon. The witch doctors see her daffy ass coming. All those lawyers on tv and combing through police reports for possible clients got into law school too. Her kid's entire conversation with the college consultant encapsulate everything about the lack of critical thinking I described.

I have said it before and I will again, Shannon and her daughters are the perfect examples of how those with class privilege and access do not necessarily posses great intellect or solid logical reasoning skills.

I understand and generally agree with the previously stated sentiments towards Curtis. I also think Jackie is in a pickle now and either has to make it work with him or just resolve herself to the idea that her life as a single, 57 yr old successful doctor of high social standing and decent health will be worth the trouble of getting rid of Curtis, even though it might not line up to the ideal she envisioned years ago. If she didn't want to pay alimony to Curtis when he first cheated and they considered divorce, she's actually in a worse situation now that he is "retired". In my opinion, peace is worth a cash payout but, everyone does not agree. The fact that Curtis was unfaithful doesn't help one make peace with his possible financial betterment on your dime either. But, at some point Jackie has got to stop investing both tangible and intangible assets in a situation that will never truly work for either of them. This is a mess all around.

So, I was really bugged by that medical visit footage. 1. No Jackie, everyone does not have power to push partners to use condoms. In many cases, teenage girls and adults are in coercive or even physically unsafe situations where they are not in a position to enforce male condom usage. This is a general pet peeve I have with verbiage around sexual health education in the US too. What I have heard mainly assumes an audience whose principle issue is self-esteem or "personal power" and leaves little room for dialogue with a person like a teenager who is engaging in sex with an older, more powerful partner or even someone engaging in transactional sex where many times "no glove, no love" is not a realistic option. 2. I don't know the laws of Mexico but, can minors legally consent to be on tv? Is there a Mexican equivalent to HIPAA? It felt invasive to watch the girls be asked personal questions about sex on TV. In general, I was uncomfortable with most of the messaging behind this medical mission visit. It felt similar to something that may have happened with white doctors on a "mission" to an inner city clinic back in the day.

I don't think Damon has cheated. I think Heavenly is extremely insecure and lashes out based on her perception of her own attractiveness / ability to compete with "bitches" who might want Damon. Also, I don't think it helps that even in her telling of the history of their relationship, she "trapped" him to make sure he married her. Did anyone else notice how production kept putting in shots of Mariah going to town on that hamburger even when no one else was eating? Also, was the drug test her only story line this season?

I will be honest and admit that Jackie's personality reminds me of my mother in many ways. She appears to be someone whose self concept is very dependent on being someone others admire as a highly moral and upright citizen. The upside of this is that it can prompt good decisions, gracious actions and generosity. The dark side is that it can cause one to shut down any observation that one's motivations are anything but good. When another person verbalizes an offence, the first reaction will be defense of the intent behind the offending action. This generally makes the other person accept the non-apology and move on. If you press further, there is reiteration of angelic intent, assertion that you know the kind of wonderful person they are and how they would never hurt you on purpose. Then, if you push again for the actual apology, there will be anger (illustrated by Jackie) or tears and martyrdom to the point your instinct is to retreat or wish you never started the conversation and sometimes even doubt your own memory/sanity. Friends and family members generally talk about this person behind their back and roll their eyes but, confrontations are rare and thus, this type of person can remain protected from criticism and self assured of their own righteousness in most situations. I have learned to choose my battles carefully, preplan my points, and gird my loins when I do choose confrontation. I also know going in that my goal is to stretch my own growth in the area of standing up for myself (because I couldn't as a child), possibly protect my child from emotional harm (if applicable) and an apology from her is a possible bonus. I suspect people like Jackie actually knowing they are wrong makes the reaction worse especially if they become aware of it during the course of the conversation. All things considered, Buffy did great. Mr. red12 commented on how supportive her husband appeared. I also noticed how Heavenly shut her mouth when Buffy took it to her. Further proof of what a bully she is. I do think Heavenly's defeat there heightened her retaliation against Scott and poor mood concerning her husband enjoying himself.

I understand your observations about Ryan. It's still hard for me to feel bad for him. But, I understand why someone should. Past the sympathy for him though, I do wonder how or if he will ever get moving on being an active player in improving his life. He is not just a child of pricks anymore. Now he is a perpetrator of a shitty childhood on his own kids and he needs to get a vision of the fact that one day those kids will be dragging him into a therapist's office to dissect his choices. I would like him to have something else to say besides "Simon hated me and your grandma abandoned me emotionally for her new husbands and reality tv." That will not fly with them anymore than Tamra's rationales fly with him.

Sophie and Shannon are perfect examples of how class privilege does not mean someone is intelligent, has the ability to think logically, or critically plan for the future. Sophie will be the perfect low information voter and Shannon already is. What year is Shannon living in that she basically is hoping Sophie will get her Mrs degree based on the Chad she meets at college? Shannon is still living in 1979 and Sophie is going to be in for a rude awakening if she goes to a school with a diverse student population.

I agree with you. I think what parents (I am one) and others concentrate on is behavior while giving little time or concern to their child's inner life. The what of behavior is important but, the why behind the antagonism is too. Growing up, I got disciplined and learned how to behave but, I also learned to repress expression of any negative emotions or anything that would inspire negative attention from my mom or other adults because the worst thing a kid could be was "out of control" or an embarrassment to their parents. Didn't stop me from resenting my parents, not really trusting them or emotionally pulling away from them as I grew older but, they got raves and validation from what a good kid I was and my achievements. As a former thumb sucker, I empathize with Brinkley. It appears the behavior helps to calm her in situations that are out of control. I didn't do it in public but, while winding down or waiting to fall asleep, I did. It was relaxing and helped quiet my mind. Now I know about deep breathing and meditation and the feeling is similar.

Multiple things are true at once when it comes to Dee and D'Andra based on what we have been shown. 1. Dee has many narcissistic tendencies. 2. She knew the state of the business and that is partially why she turned it over when she did. 3. D'Andra is entitled, spoiled and exaggerates her own suffering. 4. D'Andra isn't anywhere near as professionally savvy as she believes. 5. They are two (mostly) assholes engaged in a co-dependent relationship.

Husband. But, I will give her a half point because in her day, grabbing and keeping a rich, enabling husband was a full-time job. She is the type of person who drives me insane though because I guarantee you she thinks a single mom slugging it out on 36 hours a week Walmart will give her (so they don't have to pay benefits) should just get better bootstraps and work harder because Dee's tax dollars shouldn't go to helping losers.