Bugfrey Von

Maybe Nicole would be a little bit more tolerable/sympathetic if she didn't always look so fucking smug. Yes Nicole, you got to Morocco. SLOW. CLAP. Congratulations on landing yourself a guy who sends sad, sexy messages to randos when drunk. You sure showed us! Poor little May, man. That little girl is going to have a huge therapy bill when the time comes. Nicole has more chins by the minute in this episode. How did she manage to gain weight on the plane ride to Morocco? I laughed at Azan saying that even after not getting the Visa, he still wanted to marry Nicole. So, after you didn't get the thing that you wanted, you still want to get the thing that you want? Which is American citizenship? Ok, dude. The Pao/Roos/Juan story line is so fucking old and boring. She is insanely boring in every way. I guess they saw the footage that they had with her parading around with her nipples twirling about and realized it wasn't enough for her 20 minutes on the show, so they got Juan, Colombia's angriest, most possessive gay man, to play the role of sassy villain. BO-RRRRR-ING. Also, wasn't the point of this whole visit to see her ailing grandmother and spend time with the family she's neglected for 4 years? The cameras are obviously not going to show everything, but it seems like she spend like, no time with them at all. Just enough to say goodbye to her grandmother and let Russ get reamed by her family. Also, LOL at Russ thinking he has any say in what she does. When has she ever taken anything that you've said into consideration, Roos? When? When you told her not to wear lingerie and she did anyway? When you told her not to show her ass and she did? Or was it when you told her not to look trashy and she did? I'm confused. Are they going to keep this next topless photoshoot classy? Of course, MI AMOR. His naivete tickles me. Anfisa. Girl. Get out. Get away from that lying man-child and count yourself lucky to be 22 years old, pretty, and with grounds to stay in the USA. Go to school, take care of yourself and that cute little cat and forget about that giant boil that is Jorge. You can go to therapy until the cows come home, but if he shows up to every session baked and preemptively bored out of his mind, there will be no growth. You can do better. She's essentially with him because she's terrified of what he will reveal when they break up. No one is going to judge you for being a webcam girl when you met Jorge. He made the choice to be with you when you were doing it. He knew what you did and the allure of a beautiful, unattainable girl was what he wanted. The idiot is him. The one that's going to look terrible is him. At the end of the day, I bet he's threatening to tell her grandmother what she did and that's why she stays. I bet if she puts on 10 pounds, he dumps her. WTF is Family Chantal doing with low budget Dolly Parton agency detective? It can be fixed as easily as this: If Chantal has concerns, she can address them with Dolly Detective ALONE like an adult, without a full entourage, or tell her parents to roll their eyes and talk as much shit as they want to when she's not around. Bing bang boom. Pedro's sister is obnoxious and a problem, but I have a feeling that it's a problem Chantal is going to have to deal with for the rest of her life. He'll never get rid of the parasites if he keeps feeding them. So, have we learned nothing from 90-day fiancé and its many iterations, or did Annie not get the memo that vasectomy reversals are not only not guaranteed, but also super expensive? Girl, you're living in a firehouse - one that he will probably get you both kicked out of soon. Why is everything taking so long, you ask? BECAUSE DAVID DOESN'T WANT TO WORK. He is unwilling to deign any measly position with his incredible, money-making, brilliant businessman prowess. Another one that's better off back home. At least you know that the oxen will be harder for Bhat-man to pawn way over in Thailand.

I cry! ????

I think Lisa hates men passionately and is thoroughly enjoying killing James and the humiliation that comes with the course of his chosen suicide method. I disagree completely that James is a helpless victim. He's not unaware that she has absolutely nothing but the worst in mind for him and lies just as readily as she does. He likes his enabler and his enabler likes him. If I were Dr. Now, I would never ever ever speak to these two people again, ever. Assign him to a different doctor, but wash your hands (PLEASE WASH YOU HANDS, MAH LAYGS, PLEASE) of these people forever. He's done his due diligence as a doctor and a human being, DCF proved to be useless, bye, gone. He's going to stroke out talking to these two assholes. When he was having that yelling match with James, Lisa looked like she was looking around for something to hit him over the head with. She's a danger and I'd stay far far away.

Yes! Lee! The man I thought was a topless woman for the first 15 minutes of the episode! As an avid 600 lb watcher, I was wondering why I didn’t remember Michael. I soon realized it was because I saw his episode once and barely at that, because he was such a piece of shit even then. Petulant man baby. He’s probably accustomed to having every single need met, lest his constant whining be heard through the deserts of Arizona and beyond. Roni, file charges. This dude will do this to someone else, this and much worse. I actually breathed out a sigh of relief when she said she was divorcing. When she said she had no idea where he was when he left after their fight, I was certain that he is probably shacking up with someone else he met that wasn’t fortunate enough to see what baby he is. There are some sad people out there. Kristen's affect is so strange to me. I think she feels her behavior is a lot cuter than it actually is, that incident with her trying to get her mother making the taco meat or whatever was so odd. She acts like a 14-year-old. She eats SO. FAST. Good for her for making progress.

I wonder how much it will cost to add the jaws of life to her alteration budget? Just curious....

God, yes. Give the girl a light, cute wrap dress and call it a day.

Agreed! Lucy has lovely, deep set eyes that are really impactful with the right makeup. For someone who does this for a living, the trans fairy godmother was a.) very impatient and b.) very lacking in good wigs. Jeez Louise. I think Lucy felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb with all those pretty girls at the club that passed (in her mind), but she looked really cute. She sounded like me getting dressed too "Now if I could only lose 20 lbs"....

Maybe you're right and I'm seeing something more sinister in what is being said (or not said). And truly, if Azan is devout in anyway to Islam, he's going to want to raise his children in his faith. That's a legitimate area for her family to take interest in, although again, I feel as through theirs is a more racist undertone with the thought of Nicole marrying a MUSLIM, vs concerns about her conversion - especially in today's social climate. Nicole worships at the altar of French fries, so the transition shouldn't be too hard for her. Except during Ramadan, where one needs to fast and also not kiss at all, ever - TM Muhammit. I doubt she has even thought about that in the least, lest it take away from her ability to daydream about his abs, her perfect wedding dress and getting that D on the regular. I just caught that Nicole wanted to set her budget for her dress at 2000 dollars. 2000 dollars to wrangle all that flesh. It's a damn shame.

You can do better!

I just hork-laughed. As bad as I've felt for Nicole's mother, her ENABLING OF HER GIGANTIC TODDLER ASSHOLE DAUGHTER is what has made her this way. Her step-father is the most straightforward, honest person I think I've ever seen on the show. He nails her bullshit on the head every. single. time. Notice in the talking heads how whenever he nails a great point, her mother looks away. There's no affection between Azan and Nicole, he has never held a job, she's trying to buy his love, etc. etc.... I cannot, however, get behind this whole underlying Muslim bashing shit. Nicole's step-mother (who is as much of a mouth-breathing simpleton as her father), kept talking about Azan being a MUSLIM. I wonder if they would have the same qualms if he was Jewish, or Catholic. Maybe they just hate us brown people in general - who knows? The fact of the matter remains that his faith is the least of that family's concern. Nicole is funneling her cheeto money over to Morocco and buddy, it's a lot. Also, she completely uses May to get what she wants. Give me 500 dollars to send to Morocco to reapply for the visa or I'm taking May. Get me an apartment or I'm leaving Bradenton with May and moving to Morocco. Get me a wedding dress or I'm having Azan's mom buy it WHEN I MOVE WITH MAY TO MOROCCO. She's a piece of shit, man. That whole bridal dress scene was a whole lotta meat. In the words of Claree Belcher, "Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket". Jorge is a douche. He is a liar who paints himself as the victim constantly and has no idea that he's married to an intelligent woman who doesn't need to have her feelings explained to her. He doesn't care, and will NEVER care, about what Anfisa thinks or feels. It bums him out when his blow-up doll cries or has feelings. He is empirically, a lying liar who lies. And also goes to therapy sessions high as a kite. Think about that. Juan, please fuck off. Paola, Russ, and sad Russ' super depressed hair need to be off the show already. Chantal's family continues to bug, what with the small hats and minds and such. Her parents are just insufferable, they're the kind of coworkers that get right up in your face at 6:30 in the morning and yell "Well, good morning! Why didn't you say good morning? You don't say good morning anymore?????" before you've had a chance to take your first sip of coffee. I hate that fake shit. River might be "protecting" his sister, but he has such a punchable face, my god. Winter was a million times more pleasant before she became River's more stupider sidekick. WTF is up with Luis and his Huggy Bear coat? Thankfully, Molly cut bait, but he, like Anfisa, was pretty straight up early on stating that he didn't want to take care of her kids bc he basically didn't like them. Right or wrong, that was HER job to tell him to hit the bricks and get him a one way ticket back to the DR. He might be garbage, but he's 100X worse because those are her kids to protect. Bhatman's daughter needs to take it down to a 4 (from a 20). Her father is to blame for a lot, but she loses me with her horrific delivery.

So yeah, seeing Erica giddy and hopeful about her relationship melted my cold black heart a little bit. She was such a monotone mess in her original episode that this is truly the difference between night and day. Dr. Now is being pretty cute these days. I'm suspicious.... :)

You're so right. She's just a big angry bowl of mashed potatoes. When she got angry at Azan's phone call and her mother made some comment that made her mad, I swear to god, she was seconds away from getting physical with her. I think the only thing that stopped her was the cameras. She's an awful, immature asshole.

Annie's behavior toward Bhat's son was really shitty. It's not his fault his dad is a loser and you married him. He just saved you from seeing your beloved's big floppy, flapping ass. OMG, I noticed the same thing! I have a great job and won't make the jump to an Apple Watch because they're just too expensive. The thought of that lummox having a 300 (400?) dollar watch while living in a hotel cesspool is really obnoxious. Especially considering that she probably only uses it to scream "CALL HASSSSSAAAAAAAANNNNNNN" on it 3,000 times a day. LMAO at the "couples shot" with just her. Tickles me every time. His visa was rejected because A.) he begged for it to be or B.) someone in Nicole's family told the consulate that she was not mentally fit enough to make this kind of decision. Also, COMB MAY'S GODDAMN HAIR. Having recently lost my little old grandmother/favorite old lady ever, the Paola scene was hard to watch. Poor little granny. I hope she's not suffering anymore. Paola's family blaming Russ for her not coming home to visit in 4 years is bullshit. It's not his fault. Miami to Colombia is hours away, and MIA has millions of flights going to S. America every damn day. It's not OK to blame him for HER disregard. Maybe instead of a BMW, a cheapo plane ticket to see your people once every few months. Pao's priorities are Pao. Everyone else falls at the wayside. I cannot with her outfits either. A body con dress at the hospital? Were you going to jump into a sexy nurse scene from one of your music videos? Jeez Louise. And lord. Making Russ ride holding on to some rando while she goes off in a crotch rocket with her ex. He looks like a fool and she's giggling. He's not a bad guy, but I can promise you she will spend the rest of their marriage making him pay for the months in Oklahoma where she "didn't feel like herself". Jorge continues to skeeve. He could barely tear his eyes away from Anfisa's cleavage long enough to dig into the dinner YOU KNOW he wanted to eat. Commitment, man. She's probably getting her final Chanel purses from old boy before she moves on to better things. Good for her wanting to complete her education. I hope Jorge's sister gets a good look at his bootlicking before she starts to call Anfisa a whore again. He opens his wallet, throws money at her and cries when she takes it. Ass. Molly, divorce can be awesome. Listen to your kids. Chantal and Pedro have about another good year before it all blows up. This misbegotten family vacation/farce is awful. Chantal's family is so freaking dense, it's painful to watch them break a sweat getting a semi-coherent thought together. Pedro is a big baby, but fuck.

YES. I totally agree with the Chantal/Pedro thing, his family is awful and money-grubbing. They don't care whether his new and vulnerable marriage works, they just want their money, their things. This will never, EVER end. Pedro "owes" them, and no matter how untrue it is (do children really owe their parents for raising them?) he will never stop feeling indebted to his asshole mom. Chantal's parents are awful and continue to make themselves look more stupider (heh) the more they expose their dumbassery on the old TV. Chantal's mother, for one, should never speak unless given lines via cue cards or teleprompter. Nicole, go to Maroq and see how long you last. The minute she realizes that she can't have a jumbo polar ice at bedside and might have to clean up after herself she's on the first flight home, on her parent's dime, of course. I forgot how eminently punchable she is. So freaking smug with her mother. I'm starting to think there's a real developmental issue with her cognition. No normal person would act that way, and it explains her mother's hovering and fear. She's got to deal with 2 children, her and poor little May.

Yay! Another season of total brain candy! Nicole: This giant toddler should not have been asked back on the show. Someone is going to end up calling DCF on her after seeing that vomitous apartment (hotel room?). Totally agree with the poster above. You're bored waiting for Azan? PICK. UP. A. BROOM. I'd be scared to step on a rusty nail or find an old, long dead family pet in that rubble. It's an easy transition from this show to hoarders, I guess. 600 lb life, too. She's got her pick! Molly: I can't help but feel bad for her, but the truth is she KEEPS LETTING HIM BACK IN. What kind of example is that to her girls? Men can treat you like shit, but hey! It's better than being alone, amiright? Spoiler alert, Molly: This is your life - you're going to get into a fight every time that Prince Charming saves up enough money to go to Miami with his cousins or brothers. He's going to party, spend all his cash in less than a week and come back to try and "make it work". Rinse and repeat. The dead eyes he gives her when she's talking about what they need to do to save their marriage are all I need to see to know that it's not gonna work. Jorge: He's a droopy ass manipulator and liar. Anfisa is never going to get what she was promised from him, but I hope she gives it the college try and fucks his shit up. His sisters need to, I don't know, maybe watch the show? Maybe understand what an absolute misogynist and liar her brother is and STFU. Russ: As a native Miamian and overall Miami disliker (heh heh), I can tell you that Pao is living the DREAM in Miami. Driving a car she can't possible afford while living in a shoebox, buying clothing and shoes beyond her means to keep up appearances and racking up debt, technicolor hair that's impossible to maintain, etc. Back home, you stick your hand out the window and can catch 100 Paos, and unless her modeling includes other services, I don't see her being a huge hit. Russ' depression hair is making me depressed. He looks like he got licked by a cow. David: G-ross. No one wants to know about your sex life. Like, ever. His wife has 10 years before she can bounce. Maybe moneybags Chris will still be good for the 10K? It is definitely cheaper than supporting two grown ass adults. I AM HERE FOR THE BULLSHIT! Yay! Oh, also - Pao needs to go a little lighter on the Groupon fillers on her face. As tempting as 12 shots for 39 dollars can be in a back alley clinic, she's going to end up looking like a puffer fish.

Legit thought this was a picture of polar bear legs. I'm an asshole, but BRUH.....

I think this episode made me the most rage I've ever felt for a 600-pounder. Ever. And I've been in the trenches since the beginning. Speaking of trenches, can Freddie not find anything better to do with his life than wipe this asshole's asshole? I feel like Dr. Now exhibited more restraint and class than I could have EVER EVER EVER. The minute she started mentioning God and threatening him with other doctors, I would have told her to get her ass over to them right quick. BYE. Please. God is rolling his divine eyes with this one.

Meh, they already did that a few seasons ago, when the pretense that Whitney gave a shit about her weight was still a storyline.

Boy oh boy, does Buddy love having Heather fawn all over him. Someone needs to get Heather some "hang in there" affirmation posters or something. The thought that she is so hung up on Buddy is terribly sad. Whitney: Can I give her a hug? I want to give her a hug. I'm going to give her a hug! Heather: ::Gets up to get a hug from Whitney:: JFC, you can't get up and make your way over to your friend? Fuck off, no thanks. The irony of Buddy telling that recovering alcoholic comedian to "go have a drink" a few reunions ago keeps popping back in my mind. Maybe the reason he felt such vitriol toward her is because a.) he saw too much of himself in her or b.) she had him made as a fellow alcohol abuser. Hm. Next season will be all about Whit's IVF/fertility/adoption journey. This gang has only begun to whet their appetite on the reality tv carcass.

When she sucks the stink off her cat's breath, all I can think of is the dementor's kiss. Suckin' the life right out of that being....and all other beings within a 500 foot radius. Watching her during Buddy and Heather's meeting of the minds (snort) makes me so fucking ragey. GTFO of there Whitney, you are not wanted or needed. Everyone has that friend in high school who needs to be in the very center of every relationship bc they don't have their own, espousing their thoughts and feelings and THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT. She's just 20 years too old for that to be cute or acceptable. Watching her friends cringe as she gropes them or bear hugs them or tries and climb on top of them. Tal looked ready to crawl out of his skin when she put her head on his lap. Like, stop girl. It's not cute.

Adopting a child in her state and mental status is truly terrifying, but I think this will go the way of Judaism, lesbianism, and all the other "-isms" she has tried on during the run of this terrible show. This is the worst of Whitney. A child is not something that you can (or should, rather) pawn off whenever you're bored of them. You can't have a child's diaper fill up like your cat's litter boxes. You can't (or shouldn't) stage an interpretive birth dance at your child's birthday party. Unfortunately, this show has indulged the shit out of Whitney's cholesterol filled ego. I don't doubt that adoption/insemination will be explored as fodder for MBBFL - The mom season. EYE ROLL.

He's fake pregnant with Lenny's baby? He's taking over BGDC?!

The Heather/Buddy thing LORT. Heather doesn't seem to realize that Buddy wasn't as in as she was and damnit if he's just not that into you. I feel for her, but he's never going to give you a straight answer as to why he left, you're never going to get the closure you want, etc. Once you stop obsessing over it, you'll realize it's for the best. Also, stop fueling Whitney. She can barely contain her delight at all this drama. Hey Buddy, don't stress about moving, and don't think about how you're not financially stable, and DEFINITELY don't think about how you don't have a job, but yeah, good luck in Charleston. What an ass she is. The Snooki hair in the talking heads is atrocious. It's getting bigger.

Oh god fuck. This is the worse of this bitch. The screaming, good GOD. The screaming. That poor little sea turtle will never be the same. If a Whitney screams underwater, and there's only a sea turtle there to hear it, does she still eat it? Question for the ages. The first thing Whit does upon landing is flop on the bed, something that she cannot do in Greensboro, obvs. Then throws her haunches over Donna, who looked VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. Way to suck the marrow from the bone of life, Whitney. Never change. Glen paid for all this, I'M SURE. Fuck off, TLC. We're dumb for watching this show, but we aren't that dumb.

God, right? He signed his card with a heart, I do the same thing for my boss and I don't want to date her. She is grasping at straws when what she needs to do is go to therapy and get herself right in the head. That comment about liking her hair is going to fuel Heather for another 3 months, watch. "Well, he's been ignoring me for months and he doesn't live in Greensboro, but he said my hair looked cute! I think there's a chance." Oh Whit. Does she think there's a sister-wife situation that's going to happen with Buddy and Heather? Because you're a third wheel and you suck.