Bugfrey Von

"Big pickle head" made me laugh so hard I started to cough. It is now my favorite greeting/insult.

Has anyone, in the history of mankind, ever hated anything as much as Evelyn hates Corey?

DYING. I cannot. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Obese chicken runs....I'm laughing so hard!!!! God, Pole gives me chills in a bad way. He's just...not well. That feral child is not to blame for her behavior. Children need and WANT boundaries, and she's just going to keep pushing and pushing until she hits one. Unfortunately, it'll probably be when she tries to drive her mom's car when she's 6. "::SIGH:: Just hit the brakes baybeeeeeee......She's a good driver, she says 'sorry' when she runs people overrrrrrr" She is definitely on something, pregnancy or not. Jenny looks like a cartoon, I just can't think of which one.

This makes so much sense. It also explains Steven Jr.’s “You know who I am and you know what I’m capable of” threats to his dad re: getting pizza, drugs. Crazy. I hope this is the last we see of them.

Man, those little babies exposed to that terrible hose beast.... I just hope they can get away from the cycle of drugs and bullshit. I nearly had tears in my eyes watching that poor tiny baby manhandled by that woman. ALSO. These are some haggard ass looking people. The fact that Angie is 2 years older than me boggles my mind. Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

I respectfully disagree! I think Twit's parents are SO DESPERATE for her to find a man, she could show up with a pudding cup, and as long as it had a pulse, it'd be an unofficial Thore. My thoughts on why Heather is so "cool" with Bud and Whit? He expressed to her (while they were dating) how repugnant he found her. Now that he has absolutely nothing, giving Whit the old pickle tickle isn't as bad as going back to living at home with mom and dad.

I can watch A LOT of garbage and my standards are tragically and hysterically low, but I had to stop watching about 5 minutes in. People are terrible, but those dogs don’t deserve to live like that. I hope someone rescues all of them.

Casey is such a fucking crybaby, his parents need to tell his 34 year old ass to hit the bricks if he doesn’t like life at their houses. Byyyyyeeeeeeeee.

Todd is the only thing giving this show life. Also, calling it “blow” constantly is so fucking annoying. I can’t.

Also currently sleeping on his blood soaked mattress, soooooo.....

I think that TLC has completely lost touch in the brainless malarkey we are all hoping for when watching this show and have opened the door to possibly one of the worst characters on tv EVER in Leida. They should have cut bait when they saw how the storyline was playing out. I will say though, that Eric deserves every morsel of torture this Indonesian 4 will impart on his sad little life. Fuck you for picking this trash bag over your kids.

Nick’s raggedy ass condom from his “personal stash” was sad. He’s had it in his wallet since the seventh grade. It’ll probably disappear into a sad cloud of dust and lost dreams upon opening. Her family treating her like a native 19-year-old is getting really old. She is 30 goddamn years old. She went back to Samoa to get herself some dick. She’s not an innocent flower that needs protecting. She is also an asshole, so there’s that. Asuelo seems like a simpleton, I don’t think it’s a language barrier. I also could not imagine him in the sack. He sounds a little bit like a muppet. A very nice muppet, but a muppet nonetheless. Eric is constantly 3 sheets to the wind. He has the look of a sopping alcoholic. Probably barely functional. Leida is homely as hell. Indonesian beauty contests must be a breeze to get into. Female, breathing? Second place! I don’t understand why she has to have her whole family approve of her living situation. She should just let her little boy go home with his grandparents and ruin her own life. I just gave birth two weeks ago, and watching that ragamuffin scream at Olga set my teeth on edge. He is a vile little creature and nothing but bad things await her if she stays with him. Serious anger issues. He needs a swift kick to the testicles. Trashy moron. Larissa and her fiancé are doomed. He is a cruel man in a purple dress shirt. Things must be pretty bad in Brazil to have to settle for that shit turd mother boy.

YOU'VE BEEN LIKE A MOTHER TO ME. My God, the show is just the gift that keeps on giving. I have no idea what Angela was wearing on their restaurant date, but I love it. Whenever she wears her Dog the Bounty Hunter hair, an angel gets its wings. He bought her a cake. I’m cackling here. Tariq and old dead eyes make me sad. Jesse is weird looking. I wonder what awful incident he’s referring to. I hope Darcy kept the receipt on those veneers. They are still too big for her mouth. I feel kind of terrible for her, thinking that she was going to get a proposal and this guy is here, flying 6000 miles across the world to dump her. She really hasn’t gotten the hint from him that less is more as far as make up is concerned. She’s really spackling it on. Pole, when you have sex with a human woman in real life, and you don’t use one of your fish dick condoms, the woman can get pregnant. But really, this is a conversation for you to have with the bag of your mother’s hair. Poor Gracilene. Was Pole even in Brazil when she got pregnant?

Fun week! Tarik and Hazel: She is so not into you, guy. I'm not saying that a King Tut shirt isn't super styling (yes I am), but maybe take off the plaid Charlie Brown hat every now and again. She's kind of puzzling. She had a child young, out of wedlock, with religiously zealot parents. It really doesn't make too much sense. Maybe she's playing up this angle to scare him away? She kept asking if they were SURE that they didn't have an issue with his lack of religious beliefs. Jesse and Darcy: What a bunch of children. There is seriously no hope for these two. Jesse acts like he REALLY dislikes everything about Darcy - her voice, her cultural levels. Her relationship with her twin suuuuuucks, Stacy obviously wants a piece of obnoxious Dutch apple pie. I take umbrage at him sneering at folding of the pizza You're in NYC, dick. That's how eat pizza there, captain etiquette. Ass. Grangela and Michael. Good God. I agree, it's a cultural thing about calling her fat, God knows that there is definitely less of a stigma against calling someone fat in other countries. Nothing can hide the level of disappointment he exhibits every time that he looks at her. He almost visibly shudders at her touch, it's uncomfortable to watch. She's going to give him his (snicker) engagement ring, leave and never hear from him again. Too bad he had to prostitute himself for a 200 dollar pawned ring and some wack-ass Trump regalia. She needs to do something with that hair, she looked like Dog the goddamned bounty hunter. Pol and Kriny (or Cringey, as I call her in my head): What's with the stuffed animals, man? It looked like a 4 year old was living with them. Kriniy is old enough to wash dishes and do laundry, and although we know how it's going to end, a baby is certainly not a good idea. She'll treat him or her like a stuffed animal that's entertaining for exactly 3 seconds. Pol's mom is right. Who'da thunk that I'd agree with that crazy, hair-snipping dame? Ricky is sad. Luckily he's meeting up with his back-up Colombiana. It would be a terrible thing to waste a trip to Colombia and a perfectly good engagement ring. I hope he stopped whatever automated payments he's been making to Melissa. I can't help but kind of like him, even though he is clueless, shallow, and not super bright.

If you're selling, I'm buying!

She also caught a few episodes of The Jeffersons and drove through a black neighborhood. Quickly. What a collection of assholes, I am so excited for this season. It's a dumpster fire I just can't quit!

Pay has made herself look like a real asshole and Russ is a cuckolded. They're both grinning like they won something by humiliating Anfisa. What did you gain? Russ, you're suck with a narcissistic douche bag who thinks you're a pushover and a joke and Paola, your husband has less personality than a used postage stamp. Congrats? Damn this show for making me REALLY like Anfisa. Her genuine grin when she saw May was so freaking refreshing. She's going to be a great mom, but hopefully she chooses a better mate than potato liar Jorge. Annie should have NOTHING to say on the subject of webcams, as she was almost certainly, a call girl (if not a pee pee ping pong champ) in Thailand. Please, get off your high horse. David should have nothing to say about anyone's work situation - ever. He abandoned his children, cheated on his wife with true vigor, and will never ever ever ever ever ever ever reverse his vasectomy. Bitch, please. Nicole and Azan, OK. He says he doesn't want to marry you. He doesn't like you. He literally cringes at your touch. Move on. I agree with an above poster that her mother should have her declared incompetent. Molly needs to reevaluate her life and stop making the same mistake over and over again. If she thinks Luis is bad, she has no idea the kind of predators out there waiting for some pea brain to leave their small child in their hands. Learn from this and move on - and stop attempting to give anyone advice, my god. Family Chantal needs to muzzle mother Chantal because she is an idiot. River takes after his momma and I'm 100% team Pedro. Even with his grasping mom and sister, his family life is 1000000000000 times better than the poison that family Chantal steeps in.

SO TRUE, and I would like to state that the only reason I know what a pigeon drop is because of an episode of The Golden Girls where it happens to Blanche and Sophia! Good times. Also, Nicole is dumb as a bag of hammers.

To me, the most irksome part of this reunion, apart from Paola and Roooooos and their smugness, was Molly having an opinion about Jorge and Anfisa's child situation. In my humble opinion, I think Anfisa is being very fair and very honest by saying that she did not want to be a step-mother. What WOULD have been a true shit move would have been to say that Jorge having a child was a-ok and then resenting him (and the little girl) forever for taking away her youth. Kind of like, oh - I don't know, HER ESTRANGED HUSBAND DID TO HER? Anfisa strikes me as a very intelligent, thoughtful person (who'da thunk it?) and someone who understands the weight of parenting. After hearing about her father's death this season and her mom's parade of husbands, being a step-parent doesn't strike me as something that she takes lightly, which is something she should be celebrated for, not maligned. She was being HONEST, something that Molly and her giant albatross of a husband don't understand.

Lupe and G2 had me really sad, I thought she could do better, damnit. When the patient starts to blame Dr. Now, you know it's over. Back to purses filled with tacos and sad, sad men. (<---An excellent title for a country music album, if anyone is interested....). I feel for her, really. She's lost and needs therapy desperately. Brittany was a testement to hard work and perseverance. As another poster mentioned, it's a shame her husband gained weight. They're both going to have to get their health together in order to get pregnant. I think she can do it, she's got a lot of gumption.

OMG, this times 1000. She's probably been through this a couple of times herself and is waiting for it to blow over. Now we realize why father Molly was so trepidatious about her decision to bring over her beau. Everyone has seen the movie and knows how it ends. She could barely keep herself from giggling the entire time. So disrespectful. Azan's mother was agog to her reaction. Can you imagine looking at a grown woman putting her hair over her face to stifle her giggles while you told her you lost 6,000 dollars in wedding fees?

OK. So shit. What an episode: 1.) The River and Pedro fight: What a load of bullshit. Pedro is an asshole who needs to stop sending his mom and sister superficial bullshit that they don't need. It would be different if he was sending money for them to eat or have a roof over their head, but they want things to move them into another echelon of society and it's fucking stupid and wasteful. He's married now and can't keep you in flat screen tvs. So sorry. Having said that, they fight was instigated by Family Chantal and. River, the little bitch. He threw the paper at Pedro's face and started the physicality. They (Nicole and Pedro) should have gotten up and left as soon as that idiotic family started to instigate a fight. Mother Nicole is a hard core moron, a painful idiot who needs to be muzzled by her family. Calling for deportation? In this political climate? Fuck. You. You're not where the buck stops, and you're not the keeper of the keys to America. Shut the fuck up. Muy malo. What a fucking moron. Who ripped out Nicole's weave? 10 bucks says it was Winter - this is her moment in the sun and now she's got a war trophy. I know there is all this talk about Nicole and Pedro not being siblings. but Chantal is crying over her brother like they straight broke up. Also, petty but her crying is weird as fuck. My dog kept looking over at television inquisitively (judgmentally, perhaps?) when she was screeching. 2.) Nicole and Azan: LOL. He doesn't want to marry you, dawg. Does not. Want to Marry. Like, at all. Was Nicole going to let her family come and see her and NOT tell them the wedding was (lol) postponed? What a piece of dog shit that Baby Huey is. Her mother is just as stupid, she created this beast. The little smirk that she had during his conversation with his mom and sister, good lord. My blood was boiling. Sister Azan, welcome to the Nicole shit show. That pile of pudding your brother is engaged to will always be a drain on your lives. I hope his mother and sister take him aside and tell him that America is not enough of a prize to put up with a gigantic toddler for the rest of their lives. Thank god that the papers she needed weren't in the pile, take it as a sign and move on. Robalee and her come to Jesus talk with Azan was pointless, you're not protecting your little flower of a daughter from a big bad Moroccan, lady. Your daughter screwed some dude while in a relationship as well. Also, now you're going to have to plan a new trip and spend thousands of dollars because she is completely worthless and useless in every way. Huzzah. 3.) Fucking David and Annie. Girl. You're smart. You didn't see through those penguin tears? He is never, EVER going to do anything to help his family. He wants a cushy office job that doesn't exist. He's gained back every ounce he's lost, too. His money sure isn't being skimped when it comes to the groceries, if you know what I mean. 4.) Molly: OMG, THEY HAVE HOT WHEELS IN GEORGIA????? That place was where it was AT in Miami in the early 90's. I see that they still haven't changed the carpets or skates - it's a little heartwarming! Molly thinks everyone owes it to her to raise her kids, especially the little one. The minute Olivia came into the skating rink, she started barking orders to help her with Kinsley. Olivia is a better person than me, because I get the feeling that Molly does this sort of thing ALL THE TIME. How many times has she changed the locks on her doors? Maybe she has a punch card and the 10th new lock is free? 5.) Roos and Pao are a fucking joking. You know what's always a good idea? Heavy drinking before and during a conversation about something tragic. Pao is done with Roos. He dropped a little bombshell tonight saying that he was the reason that they were able to live in Miami. You mean that Pao's sad topless modeling isn't enough to afford an apartment? No freaking shit. I don't know what the heck was going on with the fight. Is she mad because she doesn't want to talk to him? Is she mad because he didn't want to talk to her? Is she mad because he doesn't care about the miscarriage? Is she scared because he's bland and not engaging her and fighting? I think that this is just who Roos is and Pao, after being married to him for a few years, should know that this is who he is. 6.) Anfisa, you know what I find hilarious? To buy clothing and school supplies for random kids and pretend that they are mine. LOL! SO FUNNY! Everyone is better off if Jorge just slinks off into the night. Next week is gonna be goooooooood!

I feel SO BAD for Ashley's adorable children. Charlie's mouth breathing along with narcolepsy makes me think that he's probably got sleep apnea as well, so he'd got to get it together. He's pretty large as well. When they were fighting in the car, I cringed. Those poor babies, man. I had trouble distinguishing the patients as well, both were SO WHINY. The excuse of being on the road is old and played out. Go to a supermarket and get a salad. Get precooked chicken. Being without a kitchen doesn't mean you've got to freebase popcorn chicken and Polynesian sauce. Goddamn. Ashley is trying to keep her kids from being obese and old mouth breather doesn't seem to get it. I feel bad for her. Maybe she feels like she's stuck because no one else will want to take on her kids and crazy dysfunctional family.

Watching Nicole rub up on Azan made MY skin crawl. I can't imagine the hell it must be for him. Oh well. I guess people that marry for money have to earn every penny. Azan's mom is so freaking sweet, at least mother Nicole didn't turn her nose up at the tea. Nicole looked like she was going to puke drinking the tea. She prefers hot Kool-aid, thankyouverymuch. He is so very happy that the paperwork has been left in the USA. If only there were a way to get correspondence from one place to another without actually GOING from place to place.... hm. David and Annie are eyerollingly stupid. Chris gets his rocks off humiliating David. A storage unit? Really? David, get a fucking 10 dollar an hour job and get a place with a fucking stove for your wife. It's Louisville, not Manhattan. You can't get a studio apartment with a kitchenette for 500 bucks a month? Really? Also, beggars can't be choosers and David is a beggar at this point. Take the job and get a hotplate and electric wok. Work for a little bit and get another place. Ass. Freaking Jorge the spud. I feel bad for that kid if he is the father. "I swear I sent that birthday present, jeez! Why do you think I'm lying? It was amazing! It was a puppy unicorn! Jeez! I'm not lying, I don't know what UPS is talking about, oh my god!" File all of Molly's bullshit under the "nuh duh" category of the 90 day fiance filing cabinet. I'm so glad Pao spent 70% of her trip to Colombia futzing with Juan and fighting with her husband and taking topless photo shoots. Pedro and his sister were rude being late, but not as rude as staying in the car when an octogenarian made you a meal. Nicole's mother is a hard core moron. Pedro is right, Nicole has to shut her fucking mouth about her married life. Chantal's sister was missing the limelight quite a bit last season and decided to get in on the action during today's little fight. Her family instigated everything. How is a meal the right time to talk shit to someone that doesn't even speak the language.

JFC, what a boring episode. David's ass is huge. I mean, he has the thickness. Good lord. Annie is starting to do the annoying thing where she's shitting on Americans when the only one that's done her wrong is the one she married. Americans don't know how to cook? Well girl, you eating SOMETHING. I'm glad David's sister took a stand and told him no to the money. If he taught ESL in Thailand, there are dozens of jobs that someone can do from home teaching children English online. COME ON. Again, he won't do anything he feels is beneath him and at this point, he needs to support his wife. NOTHING is beneath you. Morocco looks so freaking beautiful. I am jealous that Baby Huey gets to see it and only appreciates their French fry variety. Chantal needs to stop telling her family everything if she ever wants to have a marriage with Pedro. They might be obnoxious and not that bright, but they are trying to protect their child - one that comes at every opportunity, to tell them all the wrongs being done to her by her husband. My grandmother gave me very good advice: Tell your pillow or your therapist all your troubles but DO NOT tell your family or friends what goes on in your marriage if you don't want them to hate the person for the rest of your time together. They are much less willing to forgive and forget than you are. I guess Chantal didn't get the memo. Paola and Russ continue to be boring. The 20 minute recap of her trip to Colombia was wack and unnecessary. I wish, however, that I had whatever job Russ has that allows me 3 week long vacations to tag along with my wife. Jorge is a walking booger. He has no brain cells to speak of. His processing is SO SLOW. Like, he doesn't understand why he can't just get his blow up doll a purse and have her not be angry at him anymore. His lame ass lying isn't the problem. His glazed look is punch-worthy. The therapist's approach didn't work for Jorge because it a.) made him think about his wife as more than an object and b.) asks him to think of his marriage as more than a fun thing that he does where he gets to have sex with a pretty girl. Anfisa was uncomfortable, obviously uncomfortable, with Jorge's assessment of therapy. She's made it clear that she's in this because he will blackmail her. At this point, coming clean to her grandmother and whoever she wants to about her old way of life is way less exhausting than dealing with Jorge's blank potato face and mouth breathing.