TeeMo

As much as I want to punch Kody, Robin is somehow even more insufferable in these talking heads. You forced everyone to move to Flagstaff and then were surprised when the family sort of fell apart?!

Kody out here admitting three of his wives have threatened to leave him and then pretending to be surprised that everyone thinks Robin is his favorite. Where was Robin’s plyg concern for Ysabel’s happiness when she insisted that her kids could not go two weeks without seeing Kody so Ysabel would have to face a major operation without her Dad?? “It only works if you worry about everyone’s happiness before your own” is easy to say when your husband puts your happiness above everyone else’s.

Are these two actually in the same room during this conversation? The camera angles are so weird.

Neither Paige nor Naomie seemed like they could really muster up any enthusiasm for that conversation the producers must have told them to have outside. Was Craig upset that the girls looked like Pilgrims? I was barely paying attention, heard him yell something about cultural appropriation and looked up to see they had napkins on their heads and I was so confused. If you’re going to be interminably boring on a show like this you have to be able to contribute something else - good looks, extreme wealth, a cute pet, real estate porn. Austen has none of these things, why is he on this program? His aunt’s house? Really?

Taylor seems like a doll on the show for sure but I follow Shep on Instagram (I know 😂) and she seems like she loves to party hard as much as he does so I suspect that is where they found common ground.

I will say that I watched Taylor on WWHL and she was pretty open about the fact that neither of them expected that their relationship would turn serious and that she never really told him that at the start that she wanted something more serious. It sounded to me like she went into it with her eyes open, expected just to have some fun for a while, it turned into something more but then hit a dead end so she got out. She was pretty matter of fact about all of it even though she also admitted that she assumed he probably cheated on her at some point. This is not to excuse his shitty behavior at all but I think she likely hoped he might come around once things got more serious than they expected but she wasn’t terribly surprised that he didn’t.

I will say one thing for Shep - he seems to at least be honest with Taylor about who he is and what he isn’t willing to change. I am generally not a fan of when someone tries to force the other person’s hand to break up via poor behavior but he is not doing it in the sneaky way people often do it. He’s just behaving like a raving jackass at all times, refusing to apologize for it and telling Taylor he will keep being like this so she needs to decide if she can live with it. It is awful, nightmare childish behavior and he should really get a therapist and work on it but I guess he gets one point for not playing the “sorry, baby, I’ll do better” game if he really has no plans to do so.

I continue to be confused about why Marcie is on this show as she seems totally out of place. The remnants of this cast are now three guys who actually hang out together outside the show, one of their cousins, one of their girlfriends, two of their exes, one of their potential girlfriends, a rich weirdo, a mess of a human who seems to only appear via phone calls and a couple of random women. Other than Austen/Shep/Craig, Shep/Whitney and maybe Naomie/Leva, no one on this show would likely speak to one another without filming and that’s a sure sign that this show is over. When Leva and Venita noped out as soon as people started arguing, it was clear that there just aren’t a lot of genuine relationships here so it’s hard to care about any of it. Unless you want to watch Shep belittle his girlfriend or Austen, Shep and Craig fight and kiss and makeup ten more times, there is just not much to see here.

Every time I see Austen on my TV I wonder how anyone at Bravo thought he would be worth having on not one, but two different shows. He is both terribly boring and very unlikeable which makes for terrible TV. If you’re going to be unlikeable you have to at least be interesting so I will care enough to hate you. Austen is always just there, slightly open-mouthed, looking aggrieved by someone or something.

If Grandpa Noyes is in financial straits wouldn’t Jesus look more kindly on the grandchildren getting jobs to help Grandpa out while he sits at Grandma’s bedside than spending their free time knocking on strangers’ doors to spread the Word? It’s gross for Jill to post endless photos of her able bodied, unemployed children on their usual grift train while simultaneously begging for money for her Dad.

I know it’s Jill so I may be a bit naive here but you can’t convince me that we are ever going to get anything weirder than Jill cutting and pasting a photo of her mom pre-stroke onto a photo of her mom in her hospital bed. We have reached the zenith of the sweet fellowship. Time to close the thread. 😂

Watching the Paige/Craig scenes I thought they seemed really at ease with each other (which Craig and Naomie never were) but the more I think about it, it does have more of a good pals kind of chemistry than a great romance chemistry. Cam and Shep had similar chemistry and there was zero romance there obviously. Both Olivia and Austen talking about the other being tall as their first good quality was all I needed to know there is no there there. Austen seems to be constantly angling for whatever will get him more screen time - he should try out for Real Housewives next since he’s already been on Summer and Winter House.

I understand why Paige isn’t bothered by Craig and Naomie sleeping together but I wonder if she was bothered by Craig reminiscing about all his great memories at Naomie’s parents’ house to anyone who would listen at that party. When he said “this was basically my house”’ to someone (Olivia?), I was like 🤔. Naomie left the show and Charleston in a sort of obnoxious blaze of glory and while she is not my favorite by any means, I give her some credit for repeatedly admitting out loud that she made a lot of dumb mistakes with Metul. That isn’t easy to do so good for her.

The scene in the restaurant cracked me up as Shep and Austen gossiped like two old hens while their much younger dates looked uncomfortable with the whole conversation. I would have loved to hear the inaudible messages the girls were trying to telepathically send each other during that scene. Shout out to Taylor for trying to tamp down Shep’s drama over Paige and Craig arguing in a restaurant by pointing out they only saw half a second of it and had no idea what they were arguing about. She seemed too smart for Shep until she told his cousin (who can’t possibly be only 36!) that she isn’t on any birth control.

The only things this episode was missing was people arguing about whether Denise hooked up with Brandi and a mention of Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy.

I like that Garcelle is an equal opportunity bullshit identifier. She will call out anyone, friend or foe.

I like Carrie, voted exclusively for her in her season, own a ton of her albums and have seen her in concert but she was a lousy choice as a mentor in the lead up to the finale. The celeb mentors only work when the celeb is enthusiastic about it(looking at you, Chris Martin) and I just didn’t get that from her. I know everyone uses this show as promo for their own stuff but this felt way more like something her record company suggested as a way to get some promotion for her newly announced tour than something she actually wanted to do. Also she seemed to not like Nicolina at all - did anyone else get that sense? HunterGirl had a great audition and has bored me since but I thought she had a great night at the right time last night and her styling worked well too.

On WWHL Andy asked if the robbers had been caught and Dorit said “I don’t believe so” which seems strange to me. Are they not getting updates on the case?

In the scene where Lindsay and Carl were talking about their feelings for each other I was completely distracted by Lindsay’s sunburn/bikini lines. She had the weirdest little pale triangle on her chest and I kept trying to figure out if it truly was a bad sunburn followed by wondering why she’d wear a dress that highlighted it so much. So yeah, the episode was boring

I’ve only watched this season sporadically so far but watched about 3/4 of last night’s show and after every performance I kept thinking they must be saving the good people for later. Ooph. None of these people were very impressive at all.

I know she was trying to say that her Dad would not wanted to have a long protracted death in the hospital but the casual way she she said “sure it is sad he was dead alone in his apartment for a few days until he was found but it’s better than dying in the hospital on machines” had some real psycho vibes. I know her relationship with her dad was strained but I would be haunted by the thought that someone I loved in any way was just dead in their apartment for days. She is a weird one.

Well now I fully understand Heather.

I’ll save my prayers for the Ukrainian people. These disaster tourists can pray for themselves.

Austen was barely compelling as a character on the show he was cast for so I am confused by Bravo’s continual efforts to make him a main character on a completely different show.

When Kody was being uncharacteristically introspective and saying that her should have validated Christine’s feelings 12 years ago when she expressed her struggles with polygamy instead of saying “what the crap?” I really, really wanted the interviewer to ask if he had ever told Christine that in all the years since. I don’t necessarily think it would have changed anything now as the Christine we saw last night seemed like a woman fully comfortable and happy with the choice she has made but I wonder if it would have made a difference had he said it 2 or 3 years ago. Of course the most likely scenario is that he doesn’t actually wish he had validated her feelings at all and is just saying that now because he realizes it makes him look slightly less terrible.