laurakaye

When they showed Meri in her office, even though her computer screen was angled away from the camera, I swear I recognized the familiar blue and white Twitter screen on her monitor. And I am so over Meri talking around her situation using such vague statements. I want to take a nap every time they interview her about how she's feeling. She seems to be talking through a slow haze of medication, and always says things like "I have all these fillings. And I am surprised that I have all these fillings, and the fillings - they surprise me because I didn't think I'd have so many conflicting fillings about things that are happening in the fam'ly. I am full of surprising and conflicting fillings." YAWN. I know she can't come out and say what's really going on (at least not yet). but all the filler of her using lots of words but saying nothing is really getting old. Plus it's insulting to the viewers, who know exactly what's going on.

This scene enraged me with the white-hot flames of a thousand suns. Kody professes to want SO MUCH to adopt those kids. When his newest "son" asks for help tying his tie, for one very brief moment I actually thought that I was about to witness a lovely scene between Kody and Dayton. What a fool I was! When a son asks his dad to teach him to tie a tie, it's a very small but very important moment of manhood: the father is teaching the son a skill that will last a lifetime, and someday the son will teach his own son, etc. I kept waiting for Kody to do SOMETHING meaningful in that moment - tousle Dayton's hair, give him a quick hug, tell him "good job..." ANYTHING. Instead, after the most ridiculously pointless hair-fluff in the history of hair-fluffs, he dismisses Dayton with a brusque, "tuck in your shirt." I was livid on Dayton's behalf! LIVID, I tell you. Kody is completely awful. So is his new "wife." The way they dismiss Dayton - a smart, thoughtful and confused 15-year old - is reprehensible.

Why, I thought part of the joy of having sister-wives was the free baby-sitting? Perhaps every time Robyn looks around for a sitter for King Sol, everyone senses the disturbance in the air and vanishes. How old is her niece? Old enough to become Wifey #5? I'm seriously hoping Kody takes another wife just so I can watch karma come around and bite Robyn firmly on the butt cheek.

Exactly, and it's all about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the side of the noggin. Robyn's all, "Hey ladies - not only am I getting ALL THE COOKIES right now from Kody, but I am going to passively-aggressively show each of you how pretty and skinny I am every single chance I get." Robyn is HORRIBLE. And this has probably been discussed elsewhere, but the clothes. They live in Vegas. I've heard it's hot there. We know they profess modesty, when it's convenient, anyway. I will never understand how they can stand the sausage casing layers and sparkle jeans in the heat of a Vegas summer. Aren't they, like, always really sweaty?

That's because when his kids have the audacity to be clever, it takes the big shiny spotlight off of Kody, and Kody can't stand that. Remember the episode where they all went to Hunter's wrestling tournament, and Kody flitted around the entire episode wearing a school wrestling hoodie and giving us - his poor, stupid audience - tips on the rules of wrestling (some of which weren't even correct)? I'm sure there are about 4,276 more examples but it hurts my brain to think too much about this narcissistic, denim-wearing, caveman-like, beady-eyed, nasty-haired doofus.

And yet, as we are told at the beginning of every show, this lifestyle makes each of them better. If by "better" they mean "miserable," then yes, they are correct.

This is most likely the strategy at work here. However, as a viewer, I cannot take my eyes off of Meri.

If Robyn is now Kody's #1, then the best way to ascend to #2 is to slobber all over #1. It's got to be torture for Christine, though, because it seems that all the qualities in Christine that Kody clearly sees as negative, in Robyn he sees as positive. From what I have seen on the show and read in their book, I don't think Kody ever necessarily wanted Christine as one of his wives, but she was plyg royalty, and I'm sure she fed Kody's massive ego by chasing him all over town. You're right about Janelle. She seems very calm and centered now that Mean Meri had her karma delivered back to her in the form of a divorce and a busted catfish scam. I have to wonder, behind closed doors - are the other wives giving Meri one iota of support? Based only on the couch sessions, I would say the answer is clearly NO. The wives chatter and flutter around Kody, with the exception of Meri, with her closed-off body language and silence. Sadness radiates off of her even through my tv screen, but it's as if the other adults on the couch don't even realize she's there.

So...a pretend cancer scare and pretend twins were the pretend plotlines for this episode. Meanwhile, the Browns are all over People magazine and several others discussing Meri and the Catfish. It stands to reason that at some point they are going to have to cover this on the show, yes? If they're out there talking about it, they can't ignore it. I mean, I know they THINK they can because...well, because they're collectively stupid. However, their viewers are not. As for Meri's weight loss...you're newly divorced, your only child is gone, you're pre-menopausal. Let's see, what else - your "husband" has no use for you and what's worse, is getting his jollies at the house next door. You're lonely and sad and depressed and dizzy, and no one cares, because if you complain too much, that only elevates the other wives. You can't discuss it with your "husband" because he doesn't care for whining or, apparently, women who express emotions. Oh, and you started an ill-advised but understandable online flirtation with someone who turned out to be a woman and now everyone knows about it. Huh. 'Tis a mystery.

Did anyone catch Gwendlyn (I think it was her) throw out the name "Hash" for the new baby? I about fell off the couch, especially because by that point, Kody was getting seriously ticked off.

Woo, for sure. Possibly Fishbach. And Joe literally gets prettier by the minute, so...Joe.

My only reason I can think of to not vote out Abi is that I don't want her to go to Ponderosa and torture Jeff and Peih-Gee for the next several weeks. No one deserves that. If the remaining players don't want to vote her out because of her goat-worthiness, then they should be subjected to her histrionics. Having said that, I'm already as sick of her as I ever was watching anyone with the last name Hantz play this game.

I suppose it's the trend now, but I kind of miss the days when the Survivors actually looked like survivors. Shoot, now even two or three weeks without soap or toothpaste, most of them still have pearly smiles, great hair, perfect skin, hairless legs/pits, etc. It goes against the laws of nature. Or maybe I'm just jealous because I know I'd look like a hot mess on Day 2. LOL, that's the edit he's getting. If we'd actually heard Kass yelling something like, "Run, Golden Joey, run! Embrace the Kaos! There's no one in your way!" Well, then we might not be so suspicious that Joe could neither see through his blindfold, nor suspect that he is, indeed, Superman.

Just want to add that I am all for the Malcolm/Ozzy/Joe Survivor season. It could be just those three and I'd be riveted. I am #TeamOzzy, though, because he was the first...as long as Amanda Kimmel is nowhere to be found, that is.

Good point, as Kass was screaming herself raw. And I like "Golden Joey." Or do I like "Joey Golden" better? I wondered that as well - the moment they find out what the challenge is, do they start trying to memorize the playing field? If not, they certainly should. It was the moment when he turned around after dropping a puzzle piece, as if to see where it landed, that looked suspicious,

It's the new name of what used to be Television Without Pity. Search "Shows," and "Survivor" and you'll find every season's episode recaps up until season 27. I passed many long weekend shifts reading Survivor recaps on that site. I don't know why, but it went out of business a couple of years ago.

I am reading summaries of her first season on Brilliant But Cancelled. She is such a badass. I'd also like to give Eliza a permanent throne on the jury at Tribal Council, but I fear I ask too much.

Oh, Jeff. *sniff* The rest of this season will be sad without you, but I take comfort in the fact that Ponderosa will be one long party under your watchful eye. As for his swoony accent? I find it soothing and comforting. When he was the anchor for WWMT Kalamazoo, Michigan, I don't remember his accent being as pronounced when I'd catch him on the news. Or maybe I was distracted by his pretty eyes and devastating smile, who knows. Either way, I hope he comes back to Michigan when he's done starting the second half of his life...and as someone who is nearly there myself, he is so cool for wanting to go on Survivor again to give turning 50 a nice kick in the ass. Oh, Jeff. *sob*

When did the rule that you can't sit players in back-to-back challenges fade away? Has Ciera played in any challenge yet? That doesn't seem fair. And when did the "bench" become the "sit-out bench?" I keep waiting for Jeff to say, "Take a seat in the naughty chair." If Varner is gone, we need a new narrator. I want Sandra. I watched Savage's season, but I don't remember his every talking head turning into a whispery, emo confessional. It's annoying. And if I haven't eaten in four days, greasy sausages might be one of the last things on my food list. They would've been better off with crackers and a huge jar of peanut butter.

Sorry about your Astros. I'm a Tigers fan and I really wanted to see the 'Stros crush the Royals. Well, Abi - I hope you're happy. This season just lost 6' and 200 pounds of fabulous (I'm guessing). Varner was my boo. My hope for Abi is that she makes it to Final Four and gets cut loose. At least the folks at Ponderosa can enjoy the remainder of the game without being subjected to her stupid theatrics. I swear Joe could see through his buff. At one point he dropped a puzzle piece, then turned around to "look" at where it had landed. If he's truly blindfolded, what would make him turn back around? I'm not sure why Keith being blindfolded made him incapable of both seeing and hearing, but it was funny. I too was concerned for Savage and Jeff after the IC. They looked rough. Meanwhile, Probst is all, "Got nothin' for ya, losers!" Cruel. I don't like the no-food-no-shelter twist, don't like challenges that break people's bones, and I am crushed that Varner is done before making jury.

THIS x 1,000. It's not entertaining, IMO, to blindfold people and watch them run into stuff. How many times is Probst going to have to make everyone stop in their tracks this time while medical tends to someone's bleeding forehead?

I've been slowly re-reading and savoring old Survivor recaps on Brilliant But Cancelled. I am currently reading up on Season 19, which featured Russell, Shambo...and Monica. I'm reading about her season and I STILL don't remember her.

ToastnBacon - Dan said something to that effect during the letters from home portion...something like, "I love her like you read about." I'd forgotten how much I loathed him until now. And can someone tell me what season Monica played on, and what, if anything, did she bring to the table? She is the only Survivor I have zero recollection of.

LOLOLOL *snort* LOL...oh my goodness, yes! Dan, whose love for his wife is like that which you read in books...he's probably super busy practicing in the mirror again, for when he gets the call for "Survivor: Worst Players Ever: Second Chance."

No, Varner - NOOOOO! Stay under the radar, sweetie! Stick around, your accent makes me all swoony! Fishbach - this is his second stint on Survivor and he cannot open a coconut?? Wouldn't one practice - I don't know, SURVIVAL skills - if one is going to be on Survivor? LOVE Tasha's attitude. She's all, "make it RAIN because I love everything!" In stark contrast is Savage, who makes me cringe every time he opens his mouth with his devastated whisperings of doom. Sheesh. I don't love when Probst points out that someone is panicking, like he did with Spencer at the challenge. One, it didn't appear that Spencer was particularly panicking at that moment, but I'd imagine if Probst shouts it out like that, one might being to panic due to being called out. I was hoping they'd show a little bit of Kelley Wentworth glancing around during the challenge, trying to spot someone acting suspicious. She had to have known that there was another idol hidden. Maybe the challenge was just too intense, but I love how Jeremy designated himself the keymaster, since this gave him the best chance to grab the idol. Well played.