laurakaye

Tattoos can be beautiful, creative, and tell a story. Bounty's tattoos all look scribbled on and oddly placed, like his friends colored on him one night when he was drunk and he thought it'd be cool to turn them all into tats. Between that, his knuckle cracking, and his deep-seated meanness to Alecia, I totally hope he does pull a Dan Foley and get voted out when he holds some powerful advantage and then scratches his head in befuddlement all the was to Loser's Lodge.

GAHHHHHH NO PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOO

Great, just realized he's from Detroit, too...like Detroit needs anything else to give it a bad rap.

*applause* It's still early, but I'm finding these people to be an odd mismatch of weirdness. Maybe it's subconsciously bugging me that, as been suggested, some of the cast don't seem to fit into their tribe and I'm waiting for the old switcheroo. But I almost feel like the casting department didn't do their homework as well as they usually do. Scot, Bounty, Cydynyey, Nick, Joe, Debbie and Barack all annoy me greatly. Thankfully I have the budding romance between Caleb and Tai to make me smile in between watching the Brawn tribe sleep and the Brain tribe roll their eyes at each other. But I will still watch and savor every episode multiple times because SURVIVOR.

Rob! Find a nice, normal, non-fame-ho girl and move to some random city in Iowa or something and get away from everyone in your family! Use your freaking business degree! Open a restaurant or coffee shop or a chain of car washes! Whatever! Gosh, I feel better now.

She always talked nasty, from way back when the show first started - I don't know if this was her attempt to grab some of the spotlight or what, but as she gets older and comes into her own somewhat, she's only getting worse when she should be getting better. It's not attractive for a 30-something woman to talk like she does, it's juvenile and embarrassing. And I still cannot figure out why no one in that family (besides Kris, who is useless) hasn't attempted to reign her in. I remember seeing both Bruce and Rob asking her to cool it on occasion, but no one takes her to task so she runs her mouth like a spoiled teenage brat with literally no limits. Some of the things she's said to Tyga, Rob and Scott are truly disgusting and disturbing.

It just makes me shake my head when I look at the men in these women's lives...Kanye, Rob, Lamar, Bruce/Caitlyn, Scott. I mean, everyone has issues but there's not one regular guy in the group, one who gets up in the morning, goes out and earns his paycheck, comes home to his wife and kids, and just exists. That's why I loved when Brandon and Leah used to pop up on the show. It's like - HEY LOOK - a well-adjusted man on KUWTK! How strange and wonderful!! It's like spotting a Yeti or something. Khloe takes care of Lamar because then the spotlight remains on her, and she gets to play the hero and the martyr at the same time.

Tai goes in for a kiss (or wanting to share the food that is already in Caleb's mouth, LOL), Caleb jumps back in surprise. Tai says something like, "Oh, sorry!" and Caleb replies, "Hey, next time just ask me first!" Two episodes in and I'm still digging Beast Mode Cowboy. He could've taken that little scene in a completely different direction but so far, he seems somewhat perplexed, yet okay with the fact that Tai has a pretty obvious crush on him.

Sometimes I think Alecia's big eyes and confused smiles are because she doesn't really have a clue what's going on. Then all of a sudden, she talks complete sense with Jen about how, if they make the merge, their two big, brawny and brainless male tribemates will be targeted first, so an all-girls alliance is the smart way to go. Could've knocked me over with a feather. She annoys me (but not greatly), yet now I'm kind of rooting for her. I don't understand why Joe thought using up half the kerosene to start the tribe's first fire was the logical thing to do. That stuff was their liquid gold. They should've rationed and protected the heck out of it. And now it's basically gone. That was weird. Debbie as the love-child of Agent Phil and Shirin is both accurate and terrifying. I cringe in second-hand embarrassment every time she opens her mouth, but yet, I hope she sticks around for awhile because, like Phil, she makes for entertaining television. Plus, her eyes apparently have built-in microscopes that can detect microbes in water, so that's cool, I guess. I am liking Caleb a lot. JudyObscure made a great point about Caleb's stalkerish tendencies on BB...at least he didn't try and force a cuddle or a kiss like Tai is doing to Caleb. But so far, Caleb seems to be taking it in stride. Jason? Shut the hell up about "Blondie." You profess to be this amazing father to two young girls, yet you treat Alecia like a brainless airhead who only takes up space and breathes your air. Nice, jerk. Kind of a strange episode all the way around. I miss Ozzy from Cook Island every single season.:)

Those four promo screenshots had me LOL-ing, until I realized they were real. What they said to me was: Picture #1 - Here are the damaged girls. They need to heal. But they love and support each other. You can tell by the way they are posed. It's for real. Picture #2 - but LOOK! It's the SPURGE and he makes everything A-OK! Jessa raises him in the air like Simba! Let the Duggar children run to him, and jump for joy whilst doing so, revealing all the pit stains! Picture #3 - Frolicking ensues, as all the happy brothers and sisters rush in to see who can get get closest to the Spurge while simultaneously not knocking the babe right out of his mother's arms! Bin is relegated to the background, he must not have bin fast enough for those speedy Duggers and Duggerettes! Poor Bin! Picture #4 - Happy, happy family! Everyone is hugging and is happy. All is healed! And they all lived happily ever after. Happy! This is for real, right?

Besides Tay-Tay beating Beyonce at the VH1s, what exactly is his beef with her? She's a young, talented female singer. Why can't Kanye let this go? Does he want to be her? Does he want to be the first male member of her Girl Squad? If Kanye is King of the Universe, what is it about her that gets under his skin? It's such a bizarre feud on his part and he sounds more and more nuts every single time he mentions her. And while I have no sympathy for Kim, it must be getting old for her to constantly hear about Kanye and Amber's sexytimes.

Kris had her BF over to the house to swim and play, huh? Would this be the Todd guy that she went to meet behind Bruce's back? Just when I truly thought my opinion of her could not get any worse.

Amazing Connie Britton is amazing. I (sadly) do watch RHOBH and she's got Faye's weird, sultry way of speaking down pat. Even her hair was acting like Faye's hair. Love Connie. Fred Goldman's scene had me in tears. To this day I cannot begin to imagine his pain and outrage. He was a father who loved his son. I can barely type that without tears. When Marcia is told to alter her hair...it enrages me. Because, after all, the only way OJ can be found guilty is if Marcia has less "bitchy" hair. However, I remember with utter clarity the first time I saw her with her new hairstyle, and how much everyone talked about it. I did, too. At the time, I had no clue why she did it. I remember thinking it softened her. I feel frustrated that she had to give her hair a moment's thought while attempting to convict a murderer. I am SO hooked.

It's because the last three letters spell "shh." Which is, I guess, 'cause Jonathan knows all kinds of juicy secrets? And I am properly ashamed that I read the entire article so carefully that I retained this useless piece of information.

How can he cut off the family when his mom just bought him a house? I wait in vain for just ONE member of this family to act like a mature human being...why, I do not know.

Oh, goodness. Pandora's Box - she is opened.

iwasish, you're right about Kourtney. If I am remembering correctly, there was an episode showing Kourtney in therapy, crying, where she admits to being angry at her mom for cheating on Robert Sr., and how much it hurt the kids. Makes sense that Kourtney, as the oldest, would've been the most aware of what was going on and therefore, very hurt by it. What was Kris's timeline with Robert? She admitted to cheating on him while they were married, but was that the cause of divorce? Did he cheat, too? How soon after the divorce did Kris meet and marry Bruce? The Kardashian kids all seemed to truly love and idolize their dad. All four of them have their own set of fairly serious issues. I wonder if this is how Kris wanted her kids to turn out. Are any of them truly happy?

Lamar to the rescue!!

Okay, wow...I read on this thread but never post, because I can barely deal with the Duggars, let alone their friends and extended family. But have mercy, I could only watch 1:30 of that video before literally shuddering and turning it off. That woman's voice...is that how she sounds all the time?! And I was waiting for the little boy to drop the heavy sheet of drywall directly on his sister's hand while Mommy videotaped and narrated. What in the actual *^&%? I wish I hadn't seen, nor heard, any of it.

Rob is supposedly down 40 pounds, and whether or not that's true, he is definitely looking slimmer. Good for him, he can certainly reduce the severity of his diabetes by losing that weight. That said, this must be driving his sisters nuts. Who can they make fun of now? Rob was always the easiest target. Might they have to turn on each other? And can I be there with popcorn when they do, please?

I would think that after years of taking care of Rob, then Lamar, then both, Khloe would be exhausted. Something is deeply lacking in her own life, that she needs to have a man to take care of. Her relationship with Rob always seemed odd to me (but I don't have brothers, so I don't know). Her taking over as Lamar's caretaker 24/7, to where supposedly the doctors had to tell her to go home and take a shower, is also odd. Maybe she is extremely lonely and having a man to take care of occupies her mind?

I feel like this show is really "The Surreal Life" but with extra kocktails.

I want to word this carefully...regarding Kourtney and Scott, I agree - she was beaming before he walked into the room, and when he walked in, her walls went up immediately and her face darkened. Very telling. I don't doubt she wants him to get well for the sake of their children. However (this is the careful part), she continued to have babies with a man she knows is unstable. If we are to believe what was shown on tv, she pretty much sprung her 3rd pregnancy on him with little to no warning. His reaction said a lot. She gets pregnant and Scott is left reeling. Now, of course, it takes two to tango. He had to have known that another baby was possible and likely. And he really needs to own up to being a father to those kids. But what does it say about Kourtney that she keeps bringing children into a relationship that I don't think she really ever wanted? She has shown over and over that she has no desire to marry Scott, and she never did. But she's okay with him fathering her kids. That doesn't make sense to me. It makes me wonder if things would've been different for Scott if Kourtney has married him. He has mentioned before that he is part of the family, but at the same time, he isn't. He has a family in the Kardashians, but in the darkness of his depression, I think it hits him hard because he sees himself as an outsider. Meanwhile, there are three precious, beautiful children needing and wanting a dad, and they may never have him the way they need him. And Kourtney knew that going in - maybe not with Mason, but certainly with P and Reign. She had to have known that adding children wasn't going to fix Scott. Is it on Scott to get better? Yes, totally. But did Kourtney know what she was getting when she became a parent with Scott? She sure did. Her lack of any emotion suggests that although she wants Scott to get better, she's never going to let him get close to her in the way he seems to need. Again, I am trying to figure out this family and why they do what they do. Koutney and Scott are the longest-lasting relationship in this family, but it seems that neither one of them is ever going to get what they need from the other - yet, they still circle one another like the moon and the Earth. It's so strange.

Dear Mean Contractors: My house still isn't finished. This is literally so not fair. I am so annoyed. When I tell you which lights to install, and Kanye tells you something completely different, I expect you to figure it out on your own. Now, all the walls have to come down because you installed the wrong lights. Literally, this is my worst nightmare. I am 14 months pregnant and need my own Italian marble countertops upon which to consume my very own boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups from my very own kitchen. I have been living in my mother's house for the past 2 years and it's all your fault. Kanye and I are literally, like, so annoyed. Hurry up and finish our house so we can move in together with our children and be a family for the first time since we were married. Seriously, like, hurry up. Signed, Kim Kardashian West P.S. Don't tell Kanye that it was me who re-ordered all the light fixtures in order to delay moving in. Seriously, if you tell, I will get my best friend Jonathan to deny you a table at Nobu for the rest of your lives. Destroy this letter immediately. Seriously, I mean, literally destroy it. Autumn of 2019 will be our new target move-in date. Yeah.

Although this show must be painful to review, I am so looking forward to next season just so I can read the excellent recaps.:)