laurakaye

My guess is, "Brown/Brush/Brush." A timber farm makes perfect sense, hence why Janelle doesn't see it. She sees flowers in her dreams, so flowers there shall be. She sunk all of her money into a huge plot of land full of trees and wildlife, like she didn't think those things would be there or something.

Brilliant. I love this. What I also love is that, now that the OG 3 have peaced out (against Robyn's Vision Board wishes), she gets to be the sole target of Kody's uncomfortably blinding adoration of her. She can't farm him out to another house anymore, nor can she guide his rage in another direction. I will always believe that Robyn only wanted Kody when she could be the winner of the hawt man that the other women still pined for. Now that they've left, she might be sending signs that he's not really the prize she wants anymore - hence, he keeps asking her if he's "enough" for her. The fact that he even has to ask that tells me that he knows he's not. But they are going to keep playing pretend soulmates for the cameras because they are both so deep into their lies and revisionist histories that they probably don't even know what's real or not anymore.

The scene with the New Happy Brown Family at lunch was so beyond strange, can anyone else parse out what we were watching? First of all, I think Daddy Kody went shopping with Aurora/Brianna and helped pick out their celebration dresses since both girls appeared to be cosplaying as Jane Austen if she wore Laura Ashley circa early 80's. Where do these people buy their clothes? And what was with the Kody/Aurora exchange about Aurora feeling like she was "lighter" after her baptism, while Kody told her she'd never feel that way again and she was all..."well, maybe when I get married?" And Kody was all, "Um...you think so?" Huh? What was that? Were they speaking in code? Brianna jumped in to say something but it was so garbled and weird, I literally watched it twice and still didn't clock what she was saying. From the few crumbs I've gathered, it seems like Kody isn't looking forward to bringing in any sons-in-law for Robyn to look at - he called these prospective and so far mythical boys "handsome devils." Again, I ask - huh? And after talk turns bizarrely to "soulmates," we get Robyn sittin' there saying, "I called Kody my soulmate but I shouldnta done that, 'cause it's okay if if he calls me his soulmate, but....no, wait - he shouldn't call me that but I can call HIM that...yeah, 'cause there are other people involved so....it's not good if I say it but not him, or - no, I can't say it but he can? Yeah, that's it. I think?" These people have been on tv forever, yet put them on camera without any buffers like the other wives and they act like they have never met, let alone had a cogent conversation with each other.

Primo? 🥰 My mom loved Giorgio. I do not appreciate Jill trying to replicate the box it came in whether she meant to or not. I'm sure she selects her outfits very carefully in order to make sure all eyes are on her. I mean, could you resist staring at such a godly Christian woman sauntering down the aisle wearing a bright yellow outfit topped with a fascinator? You'd have to look whether you wanted to or not.

So - we're back? Yay? I am personally embarrassed at how much I was looking forward to this show coming back when there's really nothing new to parse out. I think my favorite moment was when Meri told us that somewhere there exists a man who ordered some pieces from My Sister Wives' Closet and never received them, so he wants his money back...when did he order this stuff, 2017? MSWC has been defunct for years so I find it hilarious that Meri, in her long-obsolete role as customer service rep, still has to dill with this nonsense because clearly Robyn has dumped the problem on Meri's lap. And then there's Robyn, in her black-print polyester blouse circa Kohl's 1992, explaining that while MSWC is not currently operational (LOL), sometimes it "glitches" and comes back online and people can sneak orders in....huh? Why not remove it altogether? You have no sister wives, therefore no closets, and no products, so it sure seems like getting rid of it would be a simple solution, no? Speaking of simple solutions, Janelle has moved to NC and purchased 165 acres of land sight unseen, and in her words - "this better work, because I have nothing else to fall back on!" Upon visiting the land, she seemed rather surprised that it was....land. With lots of trees and wildlife and snakes and bears...you know, like land tends to have. Maybe I am too careful with my money but sinking everything I own into a giant plot of rugged wilderness in order to build a business I can only fathom in my "dreams" seems a tad risky. Christine and David are in love, by the way. And yet - Christine cannot stop talking about Kody. To David. I'm sure he enjoys that. Kody baptizing Aurora was all about Kody. So kind of him to tell Aurora that while he did baptize her, it's not what he would have wanted for her but it's okay, it's what she wanted. And could that "celebration" dinner have been any more awkward? The entire thing was so cringe, I think I pulled a muscle. Aurora and Brianna are wayyyy too interested in what their parents want for them, to the point where I don't think either one of those girls sneezes without asking permission first. And Kody telling us that sometimes his kids stop in their tracks and just gaze with adoration at the shining example of true love between he and Robyn was extremely weird. But not as weird as Kody telling us about his buns of steel. And he wasn't joking. He was sittin' there (on his steel buns) actually telling us that his ass muscles are solid. What in the hell? What are we watching anymore? Color me underwhelmed.

Holy electrical cords, Batman. Dave's work for sure. With just the lightest, most delicate touch of Jill's superior interior decorating skillz. 🙄

If he weren't the leader of our country, his overblown fragile ego would be comical in an insane kind of way. It's deeply unsettling how big of a giant he thinks he is, because that makes the rest of us very insubstantial in his eyes. I picked it up from the library and found myself taking notes on it like it was my job. A lot of it is such clear and common sense but it was helpful to me to understand why I am a walking ball of rage on many days, and I can't focus to save my life even on something I enjoy. I know exactly what I'm doing to my mood by scrolling social media, but it was interesting to be told that we're being hooked on purpose and it's not as easy as just putting down the phone.

To me it seems that there are a small handful of people in this administration who can say whatever the hell they want and merrily go on with their day (or golf game), and their minions have to go on the news shows and explain what the big guys really meant when they themselves have no idea either, but they'd better get it right, whatever "right" means. If the senator was "denied" a visit and it turns out Mr. Garcia was no longer with us, that's a level of depravity so low, it's actually sickening to think about. I just read a book called Stolen Focus, and you are 100% correct. I checked the book out of the library and took notes. One thing I wrote down was that in the past, we could read a newspaper article and have plenty of time to process what we'd just read. Now, we're being smacked from all sides by constant "breaking news," putting us in a non-stop state of fight, flight, or freeze, and we have zero time to process anything. Our brains weren't designed to work that way. It's making us angrier, more stressed and hopeless. And from what I am hearing and reading, this is the exact state Trump wants us in. If nothing else, it's working.

If Jill wouldn't announce her kids' courtships 30 seconds after a Rod kid and a rando smile at each other across the church sanctuary, she wouldn't have the humiliation of walking it back when it doesn't work out. Of course, waiting until the newbie gets to actually spend time with the Rods and seeing what he/she is in for doesn't exactly work in Jill's favor either, so what's a Mahmo to do?

I'm surprised he didn't fire H. R. Pufnstuf.

I want him to burn for this. I also don't want to care because caring means I think something, anything, will change and I'm just so %$@&^&%$^ tired of getting my hopes up.

What on earth made him pause the tariffs? I know it can't be that someone talked him into it. Is today Opposite Day?

This is the very thing that infuriates me so much when it comes to my MAGA relatives. They seem to take pride in the fact that "he doesn't talk like a politician because he's a businessman!" I have worked for a variety of "businesses" in my time and on all that is holy, I have never heard anyone in my entire life speak like Trump. EVER. He lost me when he openly mocked the reporter back in '15? 16? And his followers lost me when they either laughed or didn't denounce him on the spot right then and there. And here we are.

Sadly, they both might actually be able to pass for 5 - especially the 10-year old. :( But! It's okay, because we all work sooooo000ooo hard printing our smiley tracts to pass out to those awful sinners! So Jesauce wouldn't mind at all if we "pretend" our ages to shave off a few of our hard-earned dollars to gain entrance into a museum where we get to learn more about how special we are! I'll bet she has her kids do some type of performance art for those who take one look at them and try to push past...like maybe she has Janessa say something like, "Mommy? Do you think that person is going to hell? I wonder if I can save him all by myself!" Or, more likely, they travel in a pack like that to literally surround a person to prevent them from running away until they've accepted the tract. And I'm positive they choose their targets carefully. Good heavens - those two photos are far more jarring than watching the video! Holy crap, Jill, you've got her trained, okay? We get it. She can't enjoy her life until she posts about it so she can get that jolt of superiority over everyone else who isn't spending their day of rest worshipping and learning about the Bible. Why, I'll bet some of those heathens spend their day of rest working a second job or taking care of their homes. Shameful.

Did anyone see the video of the Rods at a Bible museum (I saw it on Reddit) where they're all sitting in the dark watching a presentation? Of course Jill isn't watching the movie, she's filming herself and panning to her kids watching the movie. Tessie drew the short straw and had to sit next to Jill. As Jill films her kids, Tessie apparently didn't get the telepathic "perform!" signal from Jill, so Jill clearly nudges Tessie with her elbow and ta-dahh! Tessie performs her big giggle/smile right on cue. The saddest part is, it looked like Tessie was actually concentrating on whatever she was watching to where she was able to tune out Jill and her stupid camera but Jill had to make sure to capture the fact that Tessie was, indeed, having the time of her life in some dark dusty old museum. It must be a living hell in that house. Not one of those kids has a moment of privacy or agency to do what they want - they have to know that Jill is always lurking around like a dark creepy shadow, and knowing that at any second they are going to be yanked away from whatever they might be doing to do a proper cheese for the camera. Their ability to concentrate on anything must be less than zero seconds. I suppose that's how Jill wants it but my gosh, those kids are doomed. Oh, the second saddest part was that Janessa and Sofia were being pulled around in a stroller. Probably so Jill could claim that they were young enough to get in free.

Here's what Meri does: She approaches Kody and Robyn while the two of them are walking out of the Paintings 'R Us store, giggling over their latest acquisition - a 60 x 80 piece depicting a horse running across the surface of Mars while being chased by a fire-breathing purple turtle. Meri quietly says, "Kody - here's the dill. In my pocket, I have a pair of scissors. Either you buy me and Janelle out of our plots of worthless plague land by the end of the day, or Janelle will hold you down and I will cut off all of your hair. Janelle has already set up camp inside one of the unused rooms of your mansion - you'll never find her. The question is - what do you value more? Holding those stupid parcels of land over our heads, or your precious ringlets? Think it over, even though we all know the answer. You have 6 hours." Then she snaps the scissors in front of his face and slowly turns to leave. Robyn cries, Kody wets himself, and pays them their money with interest so they'll never come back. /scene

I guess that would explain why he mumbles one or two semi-coherant sentences and then goes off on a free-style word salad mumblefest every time he gets in front of cameras.

But just think of the higher-quality restaurants and fancy vacations she could take on the dime of one of those accomplished kids! Come on, Jill - think of yourself for once! What about "staking boxes?" How does he get them out of the ground once they're "staked?" That seems like a lot more work. The sad thing is, I thought that list was a joke. I know where he's been educated so I know better.

This is good thought, and I was just thinking something kind of opposite - does he actually understand the chaos he's causing and just keeps one-upping himself, throwing another plot-twist at us to see if his sycophants will continue to bend the knee and say, "Yes, Sir! Great idea, Sir! Keep 'em coming!" Like, is even HE surprised at what he's been able to get away with so he keep playing and this is all just something fun to occupy him in between rounds of golf? I feel like the people of the US are tiny mice, and he is a giant orange cat who bats us around with his slimy paw when he's bored, then he takes a nap, wakes up with another hairball, and coughs it up in the form of some new insane concept of a plan. It's all too much to be real and yet, here we are.

Well, Jill is aging backwards so maybe she's on to something. After all, people often think she is actually her daughters' sister! Incredible to live your life thinking your kids are just actually little mechanical robots that you program and you alone hold the remote controls. Does Jill also think that when she closes her eyes, her kids can't see her because she can't see them? 🙄

The worst part about these mush-mouth quotes is that I can't help but read them in his weaselly condescending monotone voice. And since when is the term "groceries" old-fashioned? Like, WTF does he think we're doing, loading up the family into the horse-drawn wagon for a ride into town to visit the general store? I get it, the man probably hasn't stepped a foot into an actual grocery store in his entire life so no wonder he finds the term antiquated. Where's the emoji that bangs its head on his desk while rolling its eyes and screaming at the heavens? That's the one I need 1,000 times a day.

Good point - doesn't Jill usually throw us a post once or twice a year showing us those garage-sale textbooks that were probably published in 1978 all neatly set into piles based on each kid's supposed grade? How else are we supposed to understand the sacrifices Jill makes for the sake of her children's education? 🙄 I will never understand how parents like Jill, or Jim Bob, or whoever, can do this to their kids when they KNOW their kids will outlive them. Then what are those kids supposed to do? They have never been taught how to make an independent decision, let alone how to handle basic math and reading nor develop any innate skills they might have. So what then, they just wander around the world bumping into things like a pinball in a machine wondering how to pay those pesky bills that keep coming? It's enraging to think about.

My friend and I discuss every episode and I had told her that I demand clarity and resolution for every member of the Ratliff family because they are so profoundly weird with each other, going back to their introduction scenes. She said, don't be disappointed when you don't get that, because there are way too many loose ends to clear up with the one remaining episode. It remains to be seen but I'll be pretty bummed if Mike White created such uniquely complicated characters, only to not fill in all, or most, of the blanks.

And my first thought was - it's not a cab! It's a trap! Of all the theories, and there are many, this is mine. I don't think Laurie makes it home.

Eww....just invite some guy to peruse your available daughters and choose the one he likes best, no need to ask the daughters if they have any attraction to the guy. Will he pay for Mahmo's dinners and bring her little prezzies from time to time? Then that's the guy for her girl! Good heavens, I would be waking up in the middle of the night to hide Jill's hair dye just to have an excuse to drive to Dollar General to get another box for her, if only to taste freedom for a few minutes.