BlackberryJam

I had to do a spittake there. I haven't watched GH in years because of the mini-moobster. I would do Game of Thrones characters on GH, but every single GoT character, even Ser Pounce, is smarter than anyone on GH. I would be besties with Cersei before asking Carly WhatevertheFuckHerLastNameIsNow to spare a square in the ladies room. It would be an insult to every character everywhere to stick them on GH. Machiavelli leads me to The Borgias, I would give good money to have Sean Harris in full Micheletto lurking in the background of Game of Thrones scenes. Someone needs a pet assassin. Please.

Jaime seems more Sonny than Joffrey. Jaime is the hothead, attacking Ned Stark. Joffrey is more the unnamed Thug who cut off the the horse's head. Tommen is no Michael Corleone. Unfortunately, the Lannisters don't have a Michael. Margery likes the game too much to be Kay. -- Dune Ned Stark is Duke Leto Catelyn is Jessica Jon Snow is Paul Arya is Alia Brienne as Shadout Mapes Robb Stark as Duncan Idaho Maester Luwin as Thufir Theon Greyjoy as Gurney Tywin as the Padishah Emperor Cersei as Irulan Olenna Tyrell as Reverend Mother Gauis Roose Bolton as the Baron Harkonnen Walder Frey as Rabban Ramsey Bolton as Piter Locke as Feyd Rautha Daenyres as Chani Jorah Mormont as Stilgar Daario as Jamis Barriston Selmy as Kynes

I think Tyrion would be as happier as Kingmaker than as King. If Tyrion could have Casterly Rock, whores and wine, and no responsibility, he'd be happy as well. Tywin will never let him have the Rock. For Tyrion, someone has got to rule and better it be a Lannister or someone pro-Lannister than someone else. Oh and not those dour, boring Starks. A Stark King would suck all the fun out of Westeros. I'm sure Tywin would have liked to put Jaime on the throne, but Jaime has no ambition. Letting Tyrion rule through Tommen until Tommen is of age wouldn't be the worst idea. Of course, with Cersei screaming for Tyrion's head, that's not going to happen. Tyrion does like the game though. He's better at it than Jaime, who doesn't give a doggy style fuck about it, and better than Cersei who is an idiot.

Oh, I don't think anyone, aside from Varys, gives a flying fuck about the realm. Everyone wants to solidify their own power. Tyrion would be a good leader because he recognizes what is going on. He had a good plan at the Blackwater. He knows the realm needs to stop spending money on stupid crap. Tyrion could keep the water flowing and the debts paid. Was he totally brill? No. He would have gotten the people fed so they'd stop trying to kill all the Lannisters though. But really, nothing would have satisfied Joffrey. No amount of humiliation for Tyrion would have been enough. Tyrion could have sucked his royal dick there at the wedding feast and Joffrey would have demanded more. Impaling himself on Widow's Wail wouldn't have been enough. Joffrey was, undoubtedly, a horrific king. Tyrion would have been amazing in comparison. Tyrion is by far my not favorite character. He's not even my favorite Lannister (Love you, Tywin, KISSES!), but he wouldn't totally suck as king.

Daenerys entire story is boring because it's so isolated from every other story. And I hate stories of "men follow pretty girl and do everything for her because PRETTY." Other than Missandei, are there any other women in Essos? The ratio of men to women appears to be about 10,000:1. We see an occasional woman getting raped or a slave girl, but what happens to the freed women slaves? And the children? Are they straggling along after Dany's army? I wondered how she's feeding them as well. Essos seems a pretty hot arid climate, the amount of water needed alone is staggering. I know they are trying to pull me in with Grey Worm and Missandei but it's not enough to make it interesting. It would help if we knew if Dany had any idea what's going on in Westeros. Has she gotten word about the Red Wedding? Does she know of Joffrey's death? What are her thoughts on Stannis? If she's going to take King's Landing, it would be a good idea to know what is going on in King's Landing first. Has she even tried to make alliances with anyone? Does she know about the reports of White Walkers at the Wall? What's going on in Westeros is a complex tapestry of stories. Dany is a throw rug of conquer/march/conquer/march off to the East.

OOoo....time to rant on the dumbest family in the history of Westeros. Starting with the idiot formerly in charge, Dead Headless Ned. Ned, you complete dolt, when someone tells you NOT to trust them, don't trust them. It's not as if Littlefinger weren't oozing sleaze, but he told you not to trust him. And you did. Not to mention issuing an arrest warrant for the Queen's father. Oh, let's not do things in any sane manner, let's run around screaming HONOR and putting our entire family at risk. IDIOT. Robb Stark. Sends his mother begging the Freys for help and promises to marry one of them, only to break his promise because "Dude, she's hot!" leaving himself without an ally and without an army he desperately needs. Not to mention alienating another huge section of his army with the Karstark beheading because "HONOR!" He's only slightly less stupid than his father. Catelyn Stark. IDIOT. Why would she believe Littlefinger about the dagger? Littlefinger, who tells people not to trust him and runs brothels. No one should ever believe anything he says. And then, she puts her trust in the Kingslayer. STUPID STUPID STUPID. Sansa Stark. The girl without a backbone. Pull the string in her back and she repeats "I love Joffrey. I am loyal to my king" but behind his back she manages to always trust the wrong person. And cry a lot. Sophie Turner does an excellent cry. She also does an excellent mean girl when she's nasty to the servants. Unpleasant, weepy but her stupidity can be blamed on youth and genetics, I suppose. Bran. Not yet an idiot. He is the Lorax who speaks for the trees. Rickon. I keep forgetting he exists. Arya. Only a few stupid acts, like not having her indebted killer go after Tywin immediately. Otherwise, the most likable of all Starks. Jon Snow. Rocketing up the list to just behind Arya on the likability of Stark scale. He's moved away from the emo-boy of the first three seasons. He now fights authority, but authority still wins. So far. So, my final ranking of the Starks, best to worst. 1. Arya. - Not an idiot. 2. Jon. - Less of an idiot. 3. Bran. - Growing roots. 4. Rickon. - No personality is better than the ones ranked lower. 5. Robb. - Dead and stupid, but pretty before that whole beheading thing. 6. Sansa. - Can she ever make a decision? 7. Catelyn. - Dead because she trusted all the wrong people, a skill she learned from... 8. Ned. - The dumbest, deadest Stark of them all.

Exactly. The theory that Jaime made up the story of the killing of Aerys is practically a sieve. It makes absolutely no sense. None of the characters in GoT is someone I'd befriend or even like. And I cheer for some of their deaths. I own it. I was kinda thrilled when Ned Stark bit it because he was a dour, stupid tool making massive mistake after massive mistake. There is no doubt that Joffrey was the worst of the major characters and I was thrilled when he died as well. I'd be happy to kill off Margery but I want to see more of Roose Bolton. A character does not have a to be a good person to be likable. I love Jaime. I want him to win every time. If it's a battle between Jaime and almost anyone else, I want him to win. I loved Jaime the moment he shoved Bran out the window because it was so perfectly audacious.

Jaime is pretty, not brainy. Tyrion is the brainy one. Being a "man of action" isn't always a good thing, as we see time and again from Jaime. If you want a well-thought out, devious plot involving lying and scheming, Jaime is not your man. In the Pilot he has a discussion with Cersei where she is worried about Jon Arryn and Jaime is all, "Stop worrying, go with the flow, it makes life easier and happier and hell no, I don't want a job where I have to put in thought and effort like being Hand of the King, no matter how ambitious you are sister, I have no personal ambition so drop it and have fun." So this idea that his confession to Brienne in the tub was some elaborate plot doesn't fit within his character. Jaime will hurt you with the truth, as he did talking about the burning of Starks in the Throne Room, but he's no Baelish or Varys. The only long con Jaime has ever pulled is banging his sister and that really didn't require much subterfuge on his part. She's the one who had to lie to her husband. She's the one who had to sleep with Robert. She's the one who take care of the children. Pretty Jaime ran around in his pretty armor, winning tournaments and sneaking moments with his sister.

Jaime's decision to jump into the bear pit was as equally impulsive as his decision to attack Ned Stark, or his decision to shove Bran out the window. Jaime is impulsive and really doesn't think things through. We are talking about the man who told Catelyn Stark that if she wanted to kill him, she'd need to keep hitting him in the head with a rock and offered to join her in bed after her husband was killed. Big picture and long term planning aren't his strong suits. In jumping into the pit to save Brienne it appears he wasn't thinking at all. He saw she had to be saved, jumped into to do it and then was faced with an "Oh, shit, how do I get out of this" situation. The only difference this time is that he was acting impulsively to save someone who wasn't a Lannister.

You can't assume just because Jaime does the horrific act of shoving Bran out the window that he's willing to commit every horrific act under the sun. To quote the Hound: "A man's got to have a code." So the Hound kills the butcher's boy and now steals from the innocent (and STUPID) farmer, but I would be shocked as hell if he raped Arya or killed Sansa for money. And if Jaime is horrific and would commit any horrific act because he watched the torture of others, just as 500 people in that room did including Barristan Selmy, then we can say Barristan Selmy is going to be totally cool with the crucifixion of slave children on the road to Meereen. Each of the characters in the story has their own moral code. Tywin will destroy anyone to protect his legacy, even his youngest son, but he'll start a war for that same son. Tyrion will exploit women through prostitution, but he won't force himself on his wife. Ned Stark will chop the head off a deserter who is telling him the truth and make his own son watch, but he won't refuse a request from his King. Catelyn Stark will go to war against the Lannisters, but she'll commit treason against her own son to protect her daughters. Whether you agree with the moral choices made by any of the characters or not, they have all, objectively, committed horrific acts. Even my beloved Brienne made herself judge, jury and executioner of three men. I'm waiting to see Cersei's reaction to the sept scene in Episode Four. If the alleged victim doesn't believe she was victimized, I think the scene gets chalked up to some bad editing choices and how Jaime and Cersei like it. If she says that she was hurt, or brutalized, or injured by Jaime's actions, then we have Jaime as rapist. Listening to the interviews, I think we are going to see the former rather than the latter. Which will start a whole new posting storm.

Okay...that question about a trial and a jury doesn't really make any sense. A recording like that is used to bolster the testimony of the victim. So, if Cersei gets on the stand and says "Rape," it supports her credibility. If Cersei gets on the stand and says "That's the kind of thing Jaime and I like to do," the tape doesn't matter. So...I know lots of people are upset by the scene and the director's comments, but I'm more interested in what Lena Headey says about how she was playing it. Was she trying to play consent and failing? Was she trying to play terror and failing? I don't know what I was supposed to be getting from her. Watching the scene I was more concerned about whether Joffrey's corpse was going to fall on top of them than worried about Cersei, so whatever Lena was doing in the scene wasn't enough to have made a big impact on me.

Jaime saved Brienne from rape when he told Hoat about her father having sapphires. They likely would have had to kill her to rape her. Jaime knew that from the discussion they'd had on horseback before they made camp. It seems as if Brienne is so unsophisticated in her emotions. Men have not been kind to her. When a man is kind, her affections latch on. Kind of like a high school crush, with all the accompanying embarrassment and denial of said crush.

Cersei was losing her position as queen, as Oberyn reminded her. She was going to lash out at anyone and everyone she could. Pycelle, Brienne, the poor. As they reminded us repeatedly, Jaime is 40, making Cersei 40 as well. They had Jaime tell us again how vicious she is when he told Loras that she'd kill him in his sleep and abort whatever child they'd created. Say what you will about Jaime, he does know his sister. He just doesn't yet know who she's fucking.

Tyrion and Bronn yes, Sansa NO. I can only take so much weepy-eye-Joffrey-is-my-love-but-I-don't-mean-it. Dragons yes but I agree on no Dany. I enjoy Tywin and Olenna sparring. Tywin can glare and look disdainful. Olenna can snark. We all have our favorites. I could do without Cersei, the Wildings, Jon Snow, the Red Woman and Littlefinger. I know those scenes are needed for plot and to further the story, but I have no urge to watch them again. Jaime/Brienne/Arya/Hound on a road trip to the Wall would cause my fangirl heart to explode.

Tyrion is the Master of Coin. So that makes him the guy in charge of the money. He can't leave. It's episode 1 and we've had Jaime's reunion conversations with Tywin and Cersei and a one minute scene involving him and Brienne discussing their oaths. Unless this entire episode was going to be dedicated to Brienne, Jaime and Sansa, I'm not sure what else people are wanting. I mean, I would watch the Brienne/Jaime/Arya/Hound bicker and killing hour, IF we could get Stannis doing an MST3K grammar correction every 3 minutes, but I'm not sure the rest of the viewing audience would be up for that. Jaime's current options are: 1. Kidnap Sansa. Set off for The Wall or The Vale (although he must know about Lysa Arryn being off her rocker since he would have known her in KL.) Tywin or Joffrey would send men after them, and probably send the Mountain for good measure. That is not a good option. 2. Hire some sellswords to help Brienne kidnap Sansa. Fake their deaths, maybe. Have them set off for the Vale and crazy Lysa or set off for the Wall and Jon Snow. Another risky plan. 3. Leave the Kingsguard, get married (to Brienne! because that wedding/bedding is comedy gold). Convince everyone (Tywin) to let him take Sansa away to Casterly Rock. Instead of heading West, head North to take her to the Wall. Of course, Tywin would put conditions on that like, "Sure, go to the Rock, once both Sansa and Brienne are pregnant with little Lannisters. I demand heirs. Get on that, you worthless idiots." Oh, and he has to manage that around Cersei's jealousy and Joffrey's desire to torture Sansa. And he was supposed to do all this in episode 1, while at the same time getting a new hand, getting healthy, getting a bath, getting a decent meal and, you know it's been a year, trying to get laid. Let's not forget that Sansa doesn't want to talk to people. When she does talk to people, other than Margery and Olenna, she's said things like, "Joffrey is the bestest ever and I love him." So they can't even trust her to do what's in her own best interest, which is to trust Brienne, a woman she doesn't know, and get the hell out of KL.

Constantinople, remove President and insert Hitler/Stalin/Pol Pot. Would we despise one of their personal guards for killing to prevent genocide? There are plenty of reasons to hate Jaime, but the killing of Aerys or thinking he lied about it aren't really some of of the good ones. Jaime isn't a white hat or a hero. He is just played by an actor who is killing it in every scene and making me want to root for the character. The same with the Hound. We all have our likes and dislikes. A character many seem to love and I just find trite is Dany. GAH. She's boring the crap out of me. Same with Sansa. I held a deep loathing for Jon Snow until the season 4 premiere when he actually didn't seem like an emo kid.

Charles Dance in that opening scene was utterly terrifying. Joffrey is just utterly horrid and Jack Gleeson is wonderful. All the Lannister scenes were wonderful. And Jaime and Brienne. I need more of that bicker. I would have loved a Tyron/Jaime scene, but you can't have everything. Oberyn doing a Luca Brasi in the brothel was a great introduction to character.

Just popping in to note that Gwen Christie has been cast in the latest Hunger Games. Thrilled for her.

Some of my favorites. Drinking and lust, no man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine. - Tyrion Lannister There are no men like me. Only me. - Jaime Lannister Explain to me why it is more noble to kill 10,000 men in battle than a dozen at dinner. - Tywin Lannister I do love the Lannisters.

If a cop shoots and kills a man who she truly believes has a bomb strapped to his chest and he's about to walk into an elementary school and kill 500 children, but it turns out even though the man was a murderous psycho, it wasn't a real bomb at all but something that just looked like a bomb, are we to skewer her for making the best decision she could in a highly charged moment? Jaime's story about Aerys planning to burn King's Landing makes the most sense. At that point in his life, Jaime's only bad act was having sex with his unmarried sister. So, if it's not to stop the Mad King from enjoying his usual immolation, why would Jaime kill Aerys? 1. For the fun of it? Jaime has never been shown to enjoy murder for murders sake. 2. To save his family? This makes sense and Jaime admitted that one of his motivations was because Aerys had asked Jaime to bring him Tywin's head. If Jaime had done that, he would have broken his oath of loyalty to his family. So Jaime was in a no win situation right there. 3. In some intricate plot to make Cersei queen? At that point Robert was still betrothed to Lyanna. It wasn't until after Aerys's death that the betrothal of Robert and Cersei. Of course Jaime was wallowing in some self-pity in the bath. In the few days before that, he'd had his sword hand, his identity, cut off, he'd wallowed in the mud, he'd been tricked into drinking horsepiss and he had decided to die. I don't know any character who wouldn't have been experiencing some self-pity. He'd kept the secret of killing Aerys to himself, but in that moment, when he was broken, he wanted one person to know the truth of him. He didn't tell her to get something from her, but rather because he was tired of being seen as the oathbreaker, the kingslayer. Jaime hasn't yet had a chance to atone for Bran. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But he's at the point in his story when he is making the internal change. His story isn't finished. As far as inflicting Joffrey on the realm, will we blame Ned Stark for inflicting Arya on the realm once she becomes a stealth assassin? Can we blame Aerys for inflicting Viserys on Essos? No parent knows how their child will turn out, and it was Robert and Cersei who raised Joffrey. But really, the blame for Joffrey being a horrible little shit lies with Joffrey.

I have to second the "Robb just looks like an idiot." My understanding of the books is that Robb married Jeyne out of honor, furthering the "People who are so tied to their honor suffer for it" theme. Having Robb marry useless character with no ties to any other family doesn't move the story along or create another thread in the tapestry of the show.

I haven't read the books, but instead have a friend who memorized them who tells me all of the book stuff, but I'll jump in. I kind of love Stannis, but only because of the "four fewer, not less" comment to Davos. Stannis is such a complete and utter tool in that scene that I decided to love him forever. Robb's wife sucked. Everything about her sucked. It's some huge deal that Brienne, a highborn maid, leaves her home to follow Renly to become a knight, but Talisa, a highborn maid, can leave her home to become a doctor/camp follower and it's no big deal. Talisa was self-righteous, sanctimonious and generally unlikable. Not sure why they made the change from the book, but it was a mistake. Theon/Reek. Torture-porn is a thing I guess. It was much more powerful to see Jaime get his hand cut off and then the screen go black rather than scene about scene of Theon in pain.

Just adding to the Brienne love. Gwendoline Christie is doing a fabulous job. She portrays innocence and vulnerability well. She was just glowing in the bathtub scene. I know that she isn't an ugly woman and Brienne is supposed to be ugly, but the way she holds her face provides such "ugly" expressions. Her goodbye scene in Harrenhal, she certainly wasn't ugly. I actually find the girl who plays Gilly (Jilly? The girl with the baby traveling with Sam) to be much less attractive.

Joffrey is a terrible little shit. His penchant for cruelty alone makes him a terrible king. His first kingly decision was to behead Ned Stark, ensuring a long and bloody war. The only reason the kingdom is functioning and Stannis hasn't taken the throne is because of Tyrion and Tywin. The only thing he has going for him is his concern for Dany and the dragons. Stannis, vagina smoke assassin babies are a problem. Terrible candidate. Dany, with her bubbling below the surface crazy and unassailable self-righteousness, is also a terrible candidate for the throne. I don't know if there is anyone currently with a claim to the throne that would be good at it. Tywin or Tyrion could run the kingdom, but I'm not sure either wants to be King. Being King is a lot of work. One of the Stark children, probably Sansa, could take the throne although they only seem to want the North. No to the Tullys, the Boltons, the Greyjoys. Margery wants to be Queen and she'd probably be damned good at it, but without a marriage, she has no claim. Westeros is an absolute political nightmare. That makes it so fun.

I can get behind Sansa/Sandor in theory, but she's supposed to be around 13*. Even if we age her up to 18, it's still a huge age difference, not to mention the maturity difference. It doesn't help that I dislike Sansa. I know she is doing her best in a world she doesn't understand, surrounded by people she does not trust. Whenever she is on screen, I'm bored. On the other hand, I'm loving the Hound. He deserves better than Sansa. *This is also why I can't ship Arya with anyone. She's 11. Romance with 6th graders doesn't work for me.