ElectricBoogaloo

Ha, that reminded me of another good Elaine quote: "He took (two breaths on her glasses) it out."

I have such a love/hate relationship with Bourdain (heh, entirely one-sided, of course) and this episode gave some great examples of why. Although I'm an omnivore who dislikes a lot of vegetables (it's faster to list the handful of vegetable that I'm willing to eat), I don't go around constantly talking shit about vegetables and vegetarians the way he does. While I'm sure he was telling the truth about the vegetarian dishes he ate in India being delicious, of course he had to use that as a way to complain about vegetarian dishes elsewhere (which of course leads me to wonder just how often he tries vegetarian dishes that he's so convinced of them being horrible). Even though I'm not vegetarian, I often order vegetable side dishes at restaurants. I've had delicious kale, broccoli, and caulifower dishes at Italian restaurants. My mom loves meat and seafood but she always orders certain vegetable dishes at her favorite Chinese restaurant. I am nowhere near being a vegetarian (I hate almost every vegetable on earth) but it annoys me that Bourdain insists on painting vegetarians as people trying to force soybean mush on him. You know what else is a vegetarian dish? Pasta with pesto sauce or marinara. Good old macaroni and cheese. Real Italian pizza with just tomatoes, olive oil, and a little bit of mozzarella. Tortilla chips and salsa. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Quesadillas. When someone like Bourdain is so insistent that all vegetarian food is awful, it make me give him a pretty long side eye because he's just being close-minded and judgmental. And even though I'm probably supposed to think that he's being such a big guy for complimenting the vegetarian food he had in Punjab, it makes me think the opposite. One of the dishes he was complimenting was just a curry without meat which is something you can get at most Thai or Indian restaurants in the world. I won't deny that I'd rather have a curry or quesadilla with meat, but I'd eat either without the meat and ta-da, vegetarian dish! Bourdain likes to talk about what a rebel he is, how he supports the liberal left, but serve him dinner in a fancy house and he's halfway to being an imperalist apologist. Despite my tirade, I'm glad this show is back. I have to admit that seeing that harrowing ride to the village convinced me I never need to go there. I would be crying in terror!

Man, HBO really lost a golden opportunity by not seeting up a Ryantology.net website. I loved Selina trying to figure out how to handle the pro-life/pro-choice issue. Has she never made a statement about it besides that pastel piece of garbage from her book? Mike and his new wife's penny thing, ugh. I'm afraid the two of them are going to keep telling us their number for the rest of the season. At first I thought that Dan had contacted Jonah pretending to be MSNBC. I loved that Jonah's Ugly Betty just stood there watching Dan attack Jonah and obediently handed over his burrito. I don't think I've ever loved Dan as much as I did when he said he would kill Jonah. Is that wrong?

I didn't get a ton of overarticulation from Wil Wheaton but I did get a lot of cheesy game show host/lame DJ overemoting with his vocal intonation. I wanted to tell him to just relax and stop behaving like an overeager puppy. But I will give BBC America credit for getting a host who is a fan of the show instead of some random no-name faux celebrity. And I give Wil Wheaton credit for doing research before hosting (although none of what he said he found in his research seemed particularly in depth - for example, that thing about Tatiana listening to different music for each character was on the official Orphan Black website last year during S1). I liked that Patton Oswalt and Orlando Jones are also such diehard fans and were willing to come do this even though they weren't featured for very long. Part of what I found interesting about the comments and questions from Patton, Orlando, and Wil is that they love the show as audience members but they also admire it from the technical viewpoint of writing, acting, directing, etc. Some of their questions were very specific about those aspects, which I appreciate because often the mainstream press coverage only give minmal lip service to the non-flashy stuff. In the case of Orphan Black, the articles tend to focus on how amazing Tatiana is (which I totally agree with) and sometimes the difficulties of shooting the scenes with multiple clones but they don't go much further than that. I wish that more of the actors had been asked questions, but I guess they had so many people and only so much time. One thing I didn't like about Wil Wheaton's hosting is that he kept referring to the actors as if they were their characters when he introduced them. You'd think that as an actor, he would have avoided that. Hee, I loved when Tatiana said that her inspiration for all her different characters was the Klumps. Patton Oswalt is welcome to come back any time! He seemed a lot more laidback about interacting with her than Wil did (although I suppose maybe Wil was trying to do his job as a host and Patton didn't have that pressure). I want to like Wil Wheaton because I read one of his books and he seems like a smart, funny guy but he needs to calm down if they let him do this again. I wouldn't mind having a weekly post-show chat after every episode. Wil Wheaton did win points for asking them not to fuck it up. I quit watching Lost some time during the third season because I just couldn't take the polar bears and smoke monster crap anymore. For the record, every time I typed "Wil Wheaton" in this post, I heard Stewie Griffin saying it in my head.

I'm not sure how I feel about this new kid. On the one hand, it's plausible since Hank is a man whore. On the other hand, it seems like a lame/lazy storyline. I wonder if he was telling the truth or if he just used the "interview for a college paper" excuse to get access to Hank. If he's really in college, that makes him around the same age as Becca which could be a potential roadblock to reconciling with Karen. But let's be honest - isn't everything on this show a roadblock to Hank getting back together with Karen?

Tyrion: Breakfasting with the king? Varys: I'm afraid foreigners aren't welcome at such exclusive affairs. Tyrion: Oh to be foreign.

Mike: This is Sasquatch. The edible garbage is out back in the alley. Selina: I do not mean to sound paranoid but [POTUS] is trying to kill me! Selina: This is POTUS trying to screw me, okay? This is the unflushable turd that is left in the can for the next person, e.g. ME. Amy: Has POTUS gone nuts? We can't have a crazy president. Gary: In Italy they do. Selina: I can't identify myself as a woman! People can't know that! Men hate that. And women who hate women hate that, which I believe is most women. Selina: You let that unstable piece of human scaffolding into your house? Gary: Okay here we go: Abbey Road, abolition, aboriginal mask... Amy: (reading from Selina's book) Freedom is what this nation is built on blah blah blah blah blah blah and freedom means the freedom to choose how to use that freedom to protect the freedom of others. Amy: He said 7am? Gary: It's Good Morning America, Amy. The clue's in the title. Selina: I can't listen to that Joan Crawford bitch about Bette Davis any longer. Selina: Maybe I should just say, "Get the government out of my fucking snatch." Selina: If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM. Kent: Nice dress. Sue: It's a skirt and top. Kent: Even better. Jonah: Boom boom shake shake the womb. Dan: Hey Jonad! You know, you shouldn't tweet your location to someone who wants to kill you. Jonah: So you do follow me! Dan: I swear to God, I am going to rip your guts out through your tiny shriveled little Chihuahua cock. Jonah: Joke's on you, Dan, because I fucking love burritos. Dan: If you say anything on air about the veep, I will break your legs so severely you will end up normal height!

With all the poisoned wine speculation, I started to wonder if the poisoner went the Mags Bennett route and poisoned the glass instead of the wine.

He wasn't implying that Jaime is closeted. He was just pointing out that no matter how much you fuck your sister, you can't marry her (unless you were a Targaryen).

Antoinette: You are pushing a wheelbarrow full of horse shit up a very steep hill. Antoinette: What? I haven't had a drink in ten years. It's like visiting your boyfriend in prison. You know he's no good for you but you still like look at him through the glass.

Count me in for watching the drunk Diane and Alicia show! It was nice to see both of them let their guards down and be honest and be supportive female friends with each other. I thought Alicia's day in bed was a realistic delayed reaction. Often immediately following a death, there is sadness and there are tears but it isn't until the big stuff is over (like the funeral) and it's time to get back to regular life that the overwhelming depression really hits. I loved Cary's genuince concern for her when she showed up at LG and his continued befuddlement at her behavior (I think both Cary and I supported her decision not to take the Grant case). Is there any way that Alicia could get in trouble fo telling Finn to watch his back? Although I'm tired of Kalinda's magical vagina, I'm glad we got to see some emotion from her when she went to see Cary. Man, poor Cary. He is getting the emotional shaft at work AND at home. And if her magical vagina was what we needed to finally rid ourselves of Damian, so be it. I'm just glad that guy is finally gone.

Alicia: If I die before you, please don't let them read "Wind Beneath My Wings" at my funeral. Diane: Who knew it had so many verses? Do you think that we didn't know him or his family didn't? Alicia: Maybe he changed. Diane: They said he liked night time walks in the snow. He hated the snow. Alicia: What about that food? I didn't know he cooked. Diane: He didn't. They're crazy! We were like the two mistresses at the Irish funeral. Alicia: Yup. Diane: Oh, I'm sorry. I meant that metaphorically.

Her necklace isn't really visible during the breakfast (because her hair is down) or the wedding (because we only get one good shot of her when she says, "We have a new queen") so it's possible that the stone was missing all along. It's possible that it's tucked under the neckline of her dress. I rewatched when Olenna talks to her and she first touches Sansa's braids and then the left side of Sansa's necklace (where the missing stone is) and then touches her right hand to her left hand so she could have been passing it to her other hand. Unfortunately, the scene was edited so immediately after that, you see her left hand on the table. After that, there's a closeup of Sansa and you can see that the gemstone on the far left (your right) is missing. I'm not entirely convinced that this was an elaborate plot hatched by the Olenna, but if it is then I wonder if the gemstone will reappear to point blame towards Sansa.

I don't think that mooching the answers off of other teams is any worse than stopping strangers and having them convert Roman numerals for them. In either case, the racers themselves didn't do the actual work so to me it amounts to the same thing - asking someone else to do the work for you. The only part of the challenge that any of the racers actually did was count the steps. They had to ask people when the obelisk was erected since none of them could actually read Roman numerals and then they had to ask people how to write the total number (date plus steps) in Roman numerals. I like when the racers aren't spoonfed the answers/locations but when it results in everyone just asking strangers for the answers, it's really boring to watch.

You know what makes old uncool people so uncool? When they try too hard to be young and cool. Endangering your grandson's life and the lives of every pedestrian and car passenger in Storybrooke will be worth it because Henry will think David is cool! David never looked more pathetic in my eyes. He was like one of those 50 year old grandmothers wearing Forever 21 outfits on Jerry Springer. Is Henry even old enough for a learner's permit? Because I'm pretty sure they didn't age him up to be 15. And what kind of an idiot decides that the first time a kid tries driving, the best place to do that is on the main drag through town? You go to a huge parking lot or a country road. You don't just drive down Main Street in the middle of the day! And you certainly don't teach a kid to drive without his mother's permission! I love that David's method of teaching Henry to drive wasn't much different than Regina's method of teaching Emma magic: sink or swim, suckers! The whole "you can't kiss" thing reminded me of Ned the piemaker and Chuck with their saran wrap kisses on Pushing Daisies. She is definitely a close talker. It makes me hope that she doesn't have bad breath. Heh, or maybe it's part of her evil plan. "Time to get in David's face. Let me eat a handful of raw garlic and some onions first!"

Hook: What did I tell you, mates? You don't need a ship to be a pirate! Smee: Captain, I agree with you. This place has its bright spots. I have never tried anything quite like frozen yogurt before. Mary Margaret: Where have you been? We thought you'd been turned into a monkey! Ariel: A monkey? No, I'm a girl that turns into a fish. Hook: You want to know the secret to winning? Henry: Practice? Hook: No, my boy, loaded dice. Henry: That's cheating. Hook: Only if you get caught. Regina: While we're here, who's looking after Henry? The Uncharmings? Regina: [Hook]'s prone to violence, impulsive, and has a hook for a hand. What about him would a 12 year old boy not like? Emma: What language is this, Spanish? Regina: We're not making tapas. We're making magic. It's Elvish. Ariel: Trudge, trudge, trudge. If you ask me, there's nothing more boring than land travel.

Victoria: I'd love to stay and chat but I have less boring people to talk to. Nolan: You can't have a stakeout without takeout! Victoria: [Javier]'s a felon! Daniel: Then he'll fit right in.

Stannis has gone from "stick up his ass" to intolerant dick. He jailed Davos for talking shit about Melisandre and now he's burning his brother in law alive as a sacrifice to the Lord of Light. The only redeeming quality he has now is that he won't let his wife smack their daughter around. His wife is becoming a crazy fanatic. Notice she only promised that she wouldn't lay a hand on their daughter. She didn't say anything about letting someone else smack her around.

Yes, those were the same two girls from last season. Poor Shae got the White Fang treatment from Tyrion. I can't wait to see Arya's reaction when she learns Joffrey is dead. Will she be just be glad that he's finally gone or will she be mad that she didn't get to kill him herself? Loved Olenna reminding Tywin that her family paid for half the wedding. Oberyn and Loras giving each other the eye at the wedding was hilarious!

Melisandre: There's only one hell, princess - the one we live in now. Sansa: We have a new queen. Tyrion: Better her than you. Tywin: People who spend their money on this sort of nonsense tend not to have it for long. Olenna: You ought to try enjoying something before you die. Tyrion: A toast to the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness. Oberyn: Helloooo. Tyrion: Hello. Oberyn: Not you. Margaery: Look, the pie! Jaime: Are you looking forward to your wedding? Loras: Yes, very much. Jaime: Our fathers are both rather keen on the prospect. Loras: They certainly are. Jaime: Perhaps they should get married. Bronn: Go drink until it feels like you did the right thing.

Alicia: It's hard to get drunk on beer. Will: Well, you just gotta try harder. Alicia: (to waitress) Thanks A LOT. Will: If you want to say bitch, say bitch. Alicia: BITCH! Peter: Let me use your phone. Eli: Why? Peter: Because I'm the governor and I'm asking to use your phone. (Eli hands over his phone) Peter: Now show me how to dial Alicia. Diane: You're fired. You don't belong here as a client. Client: This is insane. Do you know how much business I bring in here? Diane: I do. That's what makes this so difficult. Client: It's not what Will would do. Diane: If I were dead, it's exactly what Will would do. (slams door) That felt good. David: Turned me on.

I lost someone last month so this episode hit a little too close to home for me. Translation: I cried a lot while watching this episode. Everyone grieves differently, so I liked that they showed the way each character dealt with it. I really felt for Diane. Not only was she there at the courthouse and then at the hospital right after Will died, but she had to be the adult in the situation: calling Will's sisters and Alicia, telling the partners that Will had died, staying at work to deal with an asshole client when she probably just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and cry. Loved that she fired the wailing intern. While part of me wants to give that girl the benefit of the doubt and think that she is young and this is the first death she's dealt with, I still wanted her to STFU. You only worked in the same office building with Will for a few days and you're crying hysterically? Uh no. Take your attention whoring elsewhere, young lady. Similarly, I really felt for Cary. I know he wasn't as close with Will as Diane and Alicia, but he was clearly upset and unlike Alicia, he was stuck at work dealing with that deposition. He didn't have the opportunity to wander around the city searching for answers like Alicia so I understood him blowing up at the client in frustration. I also felt bad for him because he and Alicia seem like they have gotten to a good place but when he asked her if she was okay, she just blew him off. David Lee showing a sliver of humanity (heh, after yelling at the two people in the conference to get out so he could cry in private) and then channeling his energy into contacting Will's clients was very true to his nature. I admit that I was sure he had ulterior motives, but his reaction to Diane firing that jackass client made me rethink that. I also felt bad when Diane yelled at him and then he recoiled when she tried to touch his arm afterward. I thought Alicia's walkabout was in character. That voicemail gave her something to focus on and obsess about so that she wasn't a completely hysterical mess. It allowed her to think about Will's death tangentially instead of thinking about never seeing him again. Before she heard his voicemail, she was getting really emotional (in a very realistic way to me). Seeing a kid waiting to cross the street made her cry. Seeing someone in Will's office made her think it was Will and when he turned around, she realized she would never see him in his office again. Going off on her own little investigation made her feel like she had a purpose, that if she solved this puzzle, Will's death would somehow make sense. My issue with what Grace said to Alicia wasn't specifically because of religion itself but that Grace knows how Alicia has responded to discussing this particular topic in the past, so offering up a God related platitude was like someone saying, "Well, Will has turned into a green and purple elephant and is now in an intergalactic zoo." If the person you are saying that to doesn't believe that, then what is the point in saying it to them? If you have to preface a statement with "I know you don't believe it, but..." then just don't bother saying it (I have the same rule for when people begin sentences with "Don't take this the wrong way"). I mean, if someone said, "I know you don't think acupuncture/Paleo diet/balance bracelets really work, but..." what are they really saying? That they already know you think it's a crock of shit but they want to try to convince you anyway. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs but there's no need to keep trying to convince the non-believers that your beliefs are correct. I want to give Grace a little leeway since she's a teenager, but I wish she had just said, "I'm sorry that your friend died. I know it must be really difficult. If you need anything or you want to talk, I'm here." Poor Eli. Even though he and Will weren't BFFs by any stretch of the imagination, Eli was another one stuck at work and not given the opportunity to process the news privately. When Peter admonished him for calling Dubeck and Eli said he would rather be doing stuff besides thinking of Peter's career, I really felt for Eli. I think that people were offering their condolences to Alicia because regardless of whether they knew about her affair with Will, it was no secret that they were friends in law school. When someone you have known for over 20 years dies, people normally offer their sympathies even if they know you weren't best friends. I know that knowing someone for a long time doesn't necessarily mean you are better friends than if you've only known someone a few years, but people do tend to take the length of your friendship into consideration.

SEASON FINALE!!