rustyspigot

And now Mae West, oh Madonna.

Wait. Miranda Lambert got censored?

Rihanna's dress is ridiculous. I want to dust my end table with it.

Sia is a wig? Really?

Enunciate, Arianna! And Jessie J wore something tacky, shocker.

Oh, Classic Victor ordering a hit on someone while in a chapel. I hope unconscious Sonny was rolling his eyes during Will's "I'm extremely needy" bedside plea. I'm glad all it took for Will to realize Sonny is special is Sonny getting stabbed in the back and almost dying. Where the hell is Kate? I'm sure Sonny was just daring Abigail to go do something so she would go away for awhile.

Aw, Maggie used her power of nagging for good for once. I guess it's that one time a year they throw the soap vets like Maggie and Adrienne a bone that reminds people they can actually pull off soapy material well. I felt absolutely nothing with Will in the chapel. I wanted Victor to hit him with his cane. I kind of loved the "24" split screen ending though it should have had Kate randomly filing her nails in one of the boxes. I will ignore the elephant in the room.

I'll go out and get a drink with you, Derrick. Yes, why was Will lurking in the background during that phone call? Mind your business, asshole. Paul's coming out was rather anticlimactic. Guess what? No one really cares in the end, Paul.

Yes. Or an elfin looking character from a Burl Ives narrated Christmas Special. Hot? Nope.

So, yeah. Theresa is my girl! She has the Victor snarky truth gene somehow, even though they aren't related which is weird in inbred Salem.

Harry is ready for the gun show. First girl with the psychic cat. WHY? She was exhausting to watch. Though, I was impressed she managed to find the least flattering EVERYTHING about that look. I hate it when they say "So and so could win this". Didn't they learn from the girl who ended up singing into her shoe or whatever a couple of seasons ago not to do that?

Are we sure Serena isn't possessed by the devil? I would have slammed that door on her in fright.

It's an elephant? Days does comedy well when someone is actually going after the elephant in the room.

Maybe Faye's cameo is hiding in one of those African artifacts. Or a flash drive, Serena really needs to just let Ciara do her dirty work at this point.

Who isn't? "Horny doofus writes words" is all I can come up with at this point.

Will is just ridiculous at this point. All while wearing a hideous shirt to boot. Oh, don't get Nicole's feathers ruffled, Serena. You know because she is actually wearing feathers. I like that all the ladies got a chance to break out their Solid Gold attire for this new club.

Are Brady and Melanie fucking 12? Grow up and just bone if you want to. Paige is so pathetic.

True, But, Paul is laying on the "I really miss you stuff" rather thickly every time they meet up. I don't think Sonny is expecting Paul to have a Sonny Shrine he lights a candle at each night, though that would be funny. Will's remorse faces seemed like he was almost going to sneeze and then didn't. ACTING!

Can Victor find out about this so he can start calling Will "That slut husband of yours..."?

I figured it was something like that just a bit weird to see on a cooking show. (I guess there are only so many sheds you can burn down to get a shot)

I only caught a shot of the show, why was she hanging out in a graveyard?

The only tests Jax would score positively on is a drug or STD test.

All I remember from Emily Dickinson was hearing a fly buzz when she died, so good on Doug for finding something nice to showcase out of that life of the party, Emily. Padma was all for the Gronk sausage. I won't hate.

(Rolls eyes) That's all I got. Though, I believe Tyra when she was talking about how she went crazy on kimchi. Just because you keep saying Keith has versatility doesn't make it true. He's just so boring. Oh, Tyra. I was rooting for you!

Don't forget finding the random "fly" some where on it. I would be surprised if she didn't sell the "hilarious" plastic snakes somewhere in her new deli.