rustyspigot

I want someone to ask me a why question so I can respond with a droll "for legal reasons". Let's go back what five/six years and Kim read Rinna's bullshit to her face. Oh, she's going to cry now. Dead father, Alone for six hours, not thankful for sauce, dead mom. I can't wait for the next excuse for Rinna's awful behavior. Kyle is doing self acupuncture with those earrings.

So this was pretty much a set up episode for the season which is fine. And its spring in case you didn't notice for the hundreds of shots of flowers blossoming, I guess Wendy's candle empire melted. Let's invest in a bar! Gizelle's Pee Wee Playhouse makeover continues.

I hope they checked PK's pockets and Dorit's purse before they left the jewelry party. "Kathy Hilton is going to give me cancer. I'm going to die." Ridiculous.

Be sure to bring your most hideous hats to Aspen. And Rinna dressed like a French clown on the jet. No mention of Kyle's crippling fear of flying. So yeah. And talk about stretching there was two days of packing. I still don't know what the hell Diana was talking about in that argument. Maybe one of The Agency's rental houses will fall on Erika soon.

Someone needs to help me decipher that Drew/Sheree exchange. Is there an Atlanta rosetta stone somewhere. Something about tomatoes. Sanya hosted a pretty shitty party. Was it DanaPam levels? At least Kenya survived that dry ass food that almost killed her. Kandi and Todd talk trusts. This is what your offering? And don't make that stupid dog bone a thing. Its not happening.

In what world does Erika deserve an apology? I'm sorry you occasionally emerge from your medicated/drunk state in ugly clothes to spout nonsense. Does Kyle miss sparring with Kim? What is her fucking deal so far? And Rinna dresses as a clown.

So Rinna blatantly lied and then say "How dare you call me out in front of Dorit!" And Kyle was NOT having the fake makeup between Rinna and Sutton so she took the first go kart she could find to Sutton's shop to yell at her. If they say DIANA JENKINS! one more time. She's the new HARRY HAMLIN. Speaking of Harry. That was the most boring conversation about handshakes.

The important thing is HARRY'S 70th birthday party will proceed. Breathe relief. Why was Erika such an asshole to Garcelle? "She had a gun to her head, Garcelle." Garcelle knows it was serious you cow. I thought Sutton was cold at first, but then with the Erika nonsense maybe she thought this was another "story". I wrote this elsewhere but, Kyle was full telenovela or silent movie with her histrionics. It didn't happen to you, Kyle.

I guess RU is 11 feet tall now? And we'll give the runner up 50K. Alright. Willow could've shit on stage and still won. But, good for The Lady Camden. Her solo performance was the highlight of the show for me. Angeria puttered out. Bosco and Daya were fine. Just fine. It was the right top two I guess. I don't know what that Michelle bit was. I always have to give love to the thrusting shirtless dancers, the hardest workers in these finales.

I think she was exposed to gamma rays.

Why was she doing that? And why did they keep going to her for a reaction shot. (Emily yells about something again) Cut to Jen.😐

"We're the type of music studio that will let everyone record." Well that lady wasn't lying. What the fuck was that? And then we had to hear it twice. They all suck. But, Marge just annoys me with her high horse-ness. I won't have a conversation with Theresa, I'll just mutter about her to everyone else during dinner. At least Tiki found his next wife with the party decorator that came to the door.

It was a little harsh to have Ashley, who has immunity still be in the bottom. Padma: We just wanted to let you know we hated it. Jae honors Babe, by honoring someone else. I would have swapped her out with Ashley in the bottom. Monique was circling the drain for weeks. Monique: Barbara Jordan was such an inspirational woman so I'm making beans. And Luke incorporated seaweed. AGAIN. Good for Evelyn! I love it when Gail gets pissed. "I got beans and two halves of an oyster!"

The exorcism lady from the previous episode should have opened the window because that demon went right back in to Gina. What an asshole. And Gina ruined what looked like a great meal, the biggest crime of all. Mine Guide was the best part of the episode. (Emily whacks her head) Mine Guide "Sounds like someone didn't watch their head." Ha!

Ha! So true. Not that it was a big surprise or prediction, but I was all "that fucking gold candy bar better not show up". So of course it did. And let us never speak of it again. Deja holds a mirror for the mirror runway. OK.

This will be the longest ass season ever. And we still have the fucking golden ticket to deal with. "Its old chocolate with white powder on it." (Sad trombone) It wasn't even romper room fuckery. It was boring ass bullshit.

Heather has been moving on from being an ex-mormon in every fucking episode of the series. And now she'll work on it some more with a trip to Norway. Get a fucking plotline lady. Jennie looked ridiculous getting into basically a fight with herself because Mary wasn't having it or giving her the time of day. BYE, won't miss you, Jennie. Mary used the power of Jesus to win mini golf. And that's about it. Brook's shoot was like one of those videos a lower tier boyband in the 90's would have. Lisa, who cares. Jen, playing the most unsympathetic victim again. I have blocked Whitney's scenes from my mind.

Like during Ru's "performance" to start the runway? She looked like a post 80-year-old Mae West with those "moves" as the dancers frantically danced around her.

Austin looking at the auction book like its a porno is something. NuSonny is easy on the eyes, but such a damn whiner, kind of like oldSonny. I still want the Anna/Carrie dynamic to be explored more than Carrie just excusing herself to the kitchen. Rinna is Rinna, I don't see any of the old Billie at this point.

Probably because Geoffrey schooled her on what farmer's cheese was. Geoffrey got to make fun of Jeff's oil can eddie jacket before I did. And Sunny is still a peeper from outside.

So now Marge's great room has yet another wall of ugly wallpaper? The book story line may be more boring than the Gorga's middle school play acting scenes. Those birthday cakes looked pretty awesome. And actually looked edible (not covered in inches of fondant). I didn't need two minutes of Jackie explaining to Evan about the kids schedules. Does she schedule when they shit? Tre. Enjoy that dick. Jen. Her mom seemed fine at the party and now isn't and thought it was a ploy to embarrass her? Maybe she needs to go to the doctor.

Where the hell was Court to tell Kam not to act like that? He wanted her to staw away from LeeAnn and her behavior last year. Bring out the folding chair for Kam. I loved Tiffany not accepting Kam's apology and saying she's not done with her yet.

Let's celebrate SPRING! (shot of Sunny outside in snow flurries)

Agreed. What would Marge say of the Summer House cast? Tre's voice. Yeah. Like if Fran Drescher inhaled helium and got caught in a bear trap. Dolores films as much in that kithcen as Mary filmed in her closet on Salt Lake.

Not that I'm Nostradamus or anything but PEANUT BUTTER was a pretty easy guess for the "secret" ingredient. (Alex falls on the floor in astonishment). And then there was Sunny randomly touching the bushes for the first part of the show. OK.