VioletNevermind

Orion is choosing some very interesting hills upon which to die. Bless her heart, Lauren has tried her best to keep it cool and be open-minded, so I can’t blame her for becoming frustrated and challenging him now. It’s hard to believe that we’re not even done with the honeymoons yet. I’m tired already.

Ahh, you’re right! Thank you. I’m having more trouble than usual remembering names this season because I find these couples really boring!

The music that plays between scenes continues to be horrible. It just cannot be “real” music. To ease the pain of listening to it, I like to imagine Dr. Pepper and Pastor Cal recording it together in a sound booth while holding hands. I’m terrible with names, so the couples’ names don’t sink in until at least week four . . . Tall Guy and Short Woman: I would bet my next two paychecks that they will not work out. I think she looks down upon him and he is pushing way too hard for physical intimacy when she is clearly not ready- and I don’t think she’ll ever be ready. Health Issues Woman and Baseball Cap: Their conversation about finances at breakfast revealed just how different they are as people. She doesn’t seem ready for a relationship of this magnitude. I’m impressed by how understanding he is about her medical issues. I think they could make it work, but I’m not at all convinced yet. It’s easy to feel so lovey-dovey when you’re on a free vacation in paradise. Emily and Husband: It won’t work out. That’s all I have on them. Lauren and Orion (I remembered their names somehow): I find him a bit annoying for reasons I can’t really explain. I cringed all the way through their discussion at the end. He took that way too far. Lauren tried her best to be diplomatic and bring that conversation back from the brink, but he just would not let up. Taking into account the preview for next week, I can’t imagine they’ll work out. (Also, why am I seeing Clint on my screen again?! 😡)

Ugh, I hate how she speaks to her father. It’s so condescending and self-aggrandizing, but that’s literally Whitney in a nutshell. I also have parents in their late 70s with a laundry list of health issues, including my mom’s rapidly declining (and completely untreated) cognitive function, but I don’t treat her like she’s a naughty toddler that I have to “manage.” Hell, when I had a naughty toddler, I didn’t treat her like this. Whitney strips Glenn of his dignity at every turn. It’s tough to watch. Glenn, for real, blink three times at the camera if you need us to come and get you. This poor man.

Wow. Spending a Sunday night watching some jackass try to cram his vehicle into another vehicle and his jackass ex-wife remodel an outbuilding (pardon me, the carriage house) really makes a girl reevaluate her life choices. It’s been a minute since I’ve posted here, but I hate these people more than ever. Robyn deserves some sort of national recognition for the game she has run on every single member of this family- children and adults. She can mug for the camera all she wants and talk about how “hurt” she is about every fucking thing, but nothing will convince me that she didn’t know what she was doing, pretty much from the beginning. It’s as if she zeroed in, identified the weaknesses, and capitalized on them. I want nothing more for her than for Kody to meet some sweet young thang 10 years her junior and incorporate her and her young children into their supposedly plural family. We might actually see some real tears then, not just the forced grimacing and phony sobbing. I’m glad that Christine can play the role of mentor for Janelle as she navigates her departure from this shitstorm. I hope to God that Janelle decides not to build on that stupid land. Just gather whatever you can and get the hell out of there so you can start the second half of your life. Both she and Christine deserve happiness and they won’t find it anywhere near Kody and his wife. Ditto for the kids. It’s not easy to separate yourself from a parent and I applaud the older kids for holding firm and drawing boundaries after being disrespected and disregarded for so long. Imagine being a young adult and watching your own father tell a national audience that he is literally choosing a woman over having any sort of relationship with you. My heart goes out to them. Beneath the youthful bravado and stiff upper lips are some very hurt kids. As for Meri, she’s reaping exactly what she sowed way back when. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Meri?

Damn, Nicole’s dad needs to take it down a notch. I would be mortified if my dad said that my brand-new husband needs some “big duck energy.” He definitely wore his actor hat to these MAFS tapings.

I cannot stand any aspect of Clint and/or his personality. How dare he criticize Gina for talking about “the salon, the salon?” She should be very proud of herself- and so should he. She’s all in, as someone who owns a business (with a seven-year lease!) has to be. His comment wondering “what she’s about” was ridiculous. She’s about her career and she’s chosen to take a chance on sharing it with you, you doofus. Ugh. Go away, Clint.

Anyone else getting some strong Kody Brown vibes from Clint? Not the polygamy part, but the overconfident, socially inept, “Look at me, I’m a big asshat!” part. Those dance moves of his were straight out of Sister Wives and now it’s all I can see when I look at him. Sorry, Clint, but I have not forgiven you for your lack of a tie at this wedding. Tufts of reddish-brown chest hair and wedding vows do not mix, sir.

Airris is absolutely not ready for marriage and his cousin knows it.

I’m dying! Gina is going to eat Clint alive and I’m here for every second. (I’m still holding out hope that Clint’s tie is in his pocket and he’ll whip it out any second now and put it on.)

I’m just going to sit here patiently and wait for Clint to put on his tie. Or at least button that top button.

“His Kidneyship!” My first literal LOL in a very long time. 😂

This is absolutely not a family anymore in any way whatsoever. It’s Kody, Robyn, their children, and (to quote the Gilligan’s Island theme song) The Rest. Kody needs to cut to the fucking chase and just admit that Robyn is his favorite -and only- wife. Honestly, I would probably be able to drum up a shred of respect for him if he did that. The real victims here are the older kids. I thought that Janelle’s daughter was quite gracious when discussing her pathetic father and the fact that he hardly ever sees his other wives’ kids. She knows she can’t do anything about it, so she just tries to make peace with it as best she can. There’s a real maturity to that . . . that she shouldn’t have had to develop. Janelle should have just left. There is no way on earth I would sit there and watch him put on that performance, complete with beating his fists on his legs like a child. The moment he stood up over me and yelled at me would have been the last straw. And Robyn putting up her hands and trying to pretend as if she’s just the innocent bystander is laughable at best. She is so utterly manipulative; it’s really something to behold. She knows precisely what she’s doing.

I’m so sad to see this. Babs was easily the highlight of her family. I won’t even pretend to be able to imagine what it’s like to lose a parent, thank God, but I’m comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain or struggling to function. Here’s hoping that TLC and Whitney honor her legacy by (inevitably) airing a special, then ending the show. Rest in peace, sweet lady. 💜

That made me sick. "They're *pant* sending me *pant* home *pant*." Give me a break. How can she not know how ridiculous this makes her look (rhetorical question, of course)? I love how Kody is able to tend to Robyn when she's *pant* sick, but can't be any part of his daughter's major surgery. If he ever does get to his spiritual heaven planet or whatever the hell it is, he'll have a lot of explaining to do.

Right you are- thank you. It’s fixed. I’m terrible with names on a good day and these people have too many kids, lol.

I have never been more disgusted with Kody in the entire 10 years of this show than I was while watching Gabe burst into tears as he talked about the fact that his piece of shit father forgot his birthday. He may technically be a grown man, but Gabe is still a little boy inside, seeking validation and basic attention from his dad. The tragic fact of the matter is that he’ll never get it- ever. Robyn and her kids have it all and she planned it that way. Kody is mad because his “wives” and every child over the age of 12 have his fucking number and he can’t stand that he’s been exposed. By constantly playing the part of Robyn’s personal hype man, he’s diverting attention from his own failures. “Look at how everyone is treating Robyn! I can’t possibly have good relationships with my kids because of how everyone treats Robyn!” Robyn, ever the martyr, plays into it to perfection with her tears, cringing, and hand-wringing. If she weren’t such a detestable human being, I could almost give her a high-five for the masterfully executed psychological game she’s been playing with this entire family. She knew she was the favorite from day one and leveraged every opportunity to claw her way to the top of this shit heap. For all intents and purposes, she’s the only wife and everyone knows it. I hate her and her eyebrows. The only positive thing I can say about her is that when she had Covid and was too sick to apply her usual six layers of eyebrows, she looked marginally better. Ish. I’ve said enough nasty things here, so I will reserve comment on her Cleopatra costume. Oh, and Kody tells Janelle that he feels “rejected” by her? All aboard the Gaslight Express!

This “porch meeting” reminds me of my last day at a former job that I loathed. I had to sit through one last all-hands meeting in the conference room and pretend to be able to stand any of my colleagues. I may have been sitting there, smiling and nodding professionally, but in my mind, I was gone. By the time Kody got to the “knife in the kidneys” part, I would have gotten into my car and peaced the fuck out. No one should have to sit there and witness the spectacle that is Kody Brown putting on his one-man show- while standing next to Robyn, no less. This is the same “man” who told Christine that he was never attracted to her and even made fun of how and how much she ate. I tip my hat to Christine for having the strength to sit there and listen to that bullshit. Hang on, girl. It’s almost over. As for Robyn, she might as well be rubbing her hands together and cackling under her breath. She can stick the sobbing and lamenting the loss of her ridiculous “family” right up her duplicitous, manipulative ass.

I’m going to sit here and privately pretend that Pastor Cal came up with this ball gag idea. I need to believe that.

Oh, Steve. No one is going to be okay with you staying home, especially if there are no kids. I was a single mom with a full-time job, a clean home and I cooked every single (goddamn) night. It can be done, even if the meals aren’t “as good.” Give me a break.

Damn. This bitch is nuts. That’s all.

This episode was absolutely resplendent with Kody ridiculousness. The disrespect that he received from his older kids “kind of ruined his holiday.” Dear God, what a fucking asshole. Of course he would put that on his kids. As for his five-year-old, I’m all about little girls having a big fuss made over them on their birthday, but it’s pretty rich that this is the event that Kody chooses to put in the effort to make happen. I’ve never seen him make that big a fuss over any of his other girls (including refusing to accompany his older daughter to a major surgery). And I love that someone connected to Robyn and Kody is the one who brought a risk of Covid into the family. I’m chuckling, too, Christine. If we’ve learned anything from the last two years of this nonsense, it’s that anyone who has any interaction with the public can contract Covid at any time. Once again, Covid is Kody’s ace in the hole in every way. He’s already written off Meri, Janelle clearly couldn’t care less if she has sex with him, and he never respected Christine, leaving Robyn as his only wife in every sense. None of this was an accident. I was cheering on my couch as Kody surveyed the boxes of his crap in her garage. He’s lucky that it was all there. A lot of women would have had it hauled away in a dumpster. Christine deserves so much more than this. She’s not perfect (no one is), but she’s been too good a mom to his kids and too patient with his abhorrent behavior to merit this kind of treatment from the likes of this gaslighting mofo. If anyone in this “family” was going to make a move like this, I’m so glad it was Christine. She richly deserves it. (And one shallow observation: Robyn, your eyebrows look like shit.)

😂

Even at his tender age, Gabe is already more of a man than this dipshit will ever be. Kody made me more angry this week than he has in years. Gabe is in so much pain. He just wants to feel like he has a father and he knows that he’ll never be able to compete with Robyn and her children. How dare Kody refer to Janelle as the “Teflon Queen” to her own son. She has made an honest effort to adhere to his standards, but who can blame either her or Christine for gradually deciding to do their own thing when all they get from their ludicrous “husband” is the occasional appearance at dinner and maybe some sex every now and then? This comes down to a petty power struggle from Kody’s perspective. We’ve heard him insisting that he’s the leader of the family far more than his concerns about contracting Covid. Robyn was the worst thing that ever happened to this family. Kody would have more of my respect (well, sort of) if he just looked at the camera, shrugged, and said, “I care more about Robyn and my kids with her. Not sorry!” I’d prefer that over watching the glaring, irrefutable evidence of it each week.

I sit here and shake my head for the entire hour when I watch this. This shaggy, belligerent mofo honestly expects Janelle to abandon her sons who have barely reached adulthood. I’m absolutely disgusted by his attitude toward both them and Janelle. No, asshole, you did not “give them a nice car and a good start in life.” TLC did. Hell, we, the viewers, did. Every one of us are paying for their bullshit lives with our eyeballs as we speak. I am beyond impressed by the fact that a guy as young as Garrison is saving up his money to buy a house! As the mother of a grown daughter who spends her money as quickly as she earns it on endless Amazon packages, pot, and makeup and avoids responsibility like the plague, I’m thrilled to see it. Who could blame Janelle for choosing to support efforts like that over her asshat “husband” being able to float in for a few hours, eat a home-cooked meal, maybe have sex, then sail on back to Robyn’s the next wife’s house? Janelle is easily the most reasonable adult of this bunch, her willingness to tolerate Kody’s bullshit notwithstanding. I do have to give Christine her due, though, because she actually had the balls to leave. As for Robyn’s claims that having Kody around every day is *cringe,* give me a break. She comes across as so disingenuous when she furrows her brow and talks about how worried she is about the other wives’ relationships with Kody. The viewers don’t buy what she’s selling and neither do her sister wives. I howled when she told Janelle that she was helping her to “self-care.” No, bitch, your nanny is doing that. Real talk: I seriously need to know what she’s doing with her time while they’re paying a nanny. Three of these women should tell Kody to “Fuck off” and officially hand him off to Robyn. If I had more energy at 11 p.m., I would have danced a jig on my coffee table when Janelle said that. Talk about a mic-drop.