S01.E06: One Shoe

[Barb23]

16 hours ago, lezlers said:

That's why I'm a fan of online dating.  Get to know the person a little bit before actually meeting them in person.  

 

8 hours ago, Quilt Fairy said:

Which is how Debra met John. 

@lezlers, the wording in your post ("get to know the person....) is very similar to what Debra told Roni in the first episode. She was trying to explain to Ronni that she did know about John somewhat because they had been talking a lot ahead of time. It was just on line rather than in person.

BTW, I'm glad your online dating experience ended much better (with marriage  & children) than Debra's did.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Barb23

[lezlers]

3 hours ago, Barb23 said:

 

@lezlers, the wording in your post ("get to know the person....) is very similar to what Debra told Roni in the first episode. She was trying to explain to Ronni that she did know about John somewhat because they had been talking a lot ahead of time. It was just on line rather than in person.

BTW, I'm glad your online dating experience ended much better (with marriage  & children) than Debra's did.

I think my comment is being taken out of context a bit.   When I made my comment about online dating, it was in response to a poster talking about her friend who is often overlooked by women because of his looks and style.   I responded that online dating is helpful in avoiding writing someone off based on looks alone without getting to know their personality at all first.

[mythoughtis]

4 hours ago, Barb23 said:

She was trying to explain to Ronni that she did know about John somewhat because they had been talking a lot ahead of time. It was just on line rather than in person.

You are right- she did say that.  Yet, I believe someone said that he only got out of prison two days before their first date. Supposedly that was part of the reason he was so underdressed compared to her for the date.  So I wonder if that was true - what prison allowed him to sign up for an online dating account. Our state prison does not allow their prisoners internet access, nor do our work- release centers. 

[lezlers]

3 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

You are right- she did say that.  Yet, I believe someone said that he only got out of prison two days before their first date. Supposedly that was part of the reason he was so underdressed compared to her for the date.  So I wonder if that was true - what prison allowed him to sign up for an online dating account. Our state prison does not allow their prisoners internet access, nor do our work- release centers. 

You need to watch Love After Lockup.   There are whole websites where inmates post personal ads to "meet people" (aka: find more suckers to scam.)

[CharlizeCat]

I guess there actually are women out these who desire inmates. I just finished binge-watching "Making a Murderer." The amount of fan mail and attention from women that Steven Avery received was mind-boggling. Two actually wanted to marry him if he got released. They were decent women, too. 

[mythoughtis]

1 hour ago, lezlers said:

You need to watch Love After Lockup.   There are whole websites where inmates post personal ads to "meet people" (aka: find more suckers to scam.)

Now what could possibly go wrong in a scenario like that? 

[Barb23]

5 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

 

Oops^^^^

2 hours ago, lezlers said:

You need to watch Love After Lockup.   There are whole websites where inmates post personal ads to "meet people" (aka: find more suckers to scam.)

I've been binge watching the show.

Even the policeman/detective that talked to Roni & Debra at the beginning asked Debra if she had been John's pen pal in prison.  I think he assumed  she had been  & was surprised she wasn't. 

[Adiba]

On 1/3/2019 at 12:32 PM, CaliCat said:

This is so true, and so well written.  I wish more people agreed with us. 

It’s true that so many people don’t report crimes because of shame for their own behavior that might have contributed to it, which makes it all the more surprising that Debra has been so open with her own story. 

It’s a cautionary tale, though, and so gripping because most of us have been stupid at times, although not necessarily to the extent that Debra has. Thank goodness people as awful as Dirty John are rare. 

My frustration with Debra and struggle with feeling sympathy for her does not in any way lessen my loathing for John and feeling that he should be prosecuted for his crimes. Despite her stupid (imo) choices and what I consider reckless behavior regarding John, I do not feel she somehow “deserves” what has happened to her.

I don’t want to speak for everyone here, but I have the feeling that what makes Debra unsympathetic to others is her almost willful blindness to John’s bad behavior and the effect it has on her loved ones. 

[preeya]

19 hours ago, CharlizeCat said:

I guess there actually are women out these who desire inmates.

Didn't one of the Menendez brothers get married? He's in lockup forever.

[crgirl412]

3 hours ago, preeya said:

Didn't one of the Menendez brothers get married? He's in lockup forever.

I think they are both married. 

I went to church with a gal who met a guy when she was there doing ministry.  Her parents met him and approved and he really sounded like he was decent.  They were getting married when he got out.   I can't remember her last name to google her! 

[NutMeg]

This series and the posts have been most useful for me to understand what happened to a close relative (one generation above). I know I'm supposed to take it to small talk, which I'll do in due time. Still, I want to thank all posters who explained a dynamic that I couldn't comprehend before. 

[Anela]

"Let us all commemorate this, with the adding of liquor to ice." Love it. So glad that one of the women was taken seriously. 

[Anela]

They shouldn't have had her go through trying to leave him, alone. I know her daughters helped her before, but they knew that he was dangerous, and that she was going to try again - you do NOT leave your mother to do that alone. You call as many reinforcements as you can.