Transitions: Major Life Upheavals Ahead

[SunnyBeBe]

5 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

There's a whole lot of people who moved to Florida to escape the cold.

I highly recommend Southern California. But get a place with A/C - the summers are getting hot!

I've always wanted to live in CA.  I have some extended family in northern part, but, it's difficult to imagine me moving so far away.  The family that moved there did so many years ago, so they have built their lives and careers there. I do enjoy fantasizing though. lol 

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

There's a whole lot of people who moved to Florida to escape the cold.

I highly recommend Southern California. But get a place with A/C - the summers are getting hot!

Yeah, ask them about the humidity & stupidity that is Florida.  

SoCal is THE place to be, but you need to find the right microclime.  Far enough from the coast to avoid May Grey/June Gloom and generally crappy beaches; but not so far inland that the horrible heat is a factor.  I've never needed A/C since moving here in the 80s, and have lived without a working furnace for many years.  But you're right, @theredhead77, the summers are getting hotter, and my trusty little box fan is being used a bit more often these days.  I'd move back to my beloved Pacific Northwest in a hot minute, IF I could afford it and wasn't totally spoiled by the easy living here in sunny North San Diego County.  The scenery around here just cannot compare ...  ;-)

[theredhead77]

@walnutqueen  coastal Orange County and Long Beach have seen a steady increase in temperatures with highs well over 105 for weeks at a time these past few years. When I move back it will be to a place with central A/C or I'll factor that into my budget (if I buy). 

[walnutqueen]

24 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

@walnutqueen  coastal Orange County and Long Beach have seen a steady increase in temperatures with highs well over 105 for weeks at a time these past few years. When I move back it will be to a place with central A/C or I'll factor that into my budget (if I buy). 

That (105)?  Is fucking INSANE.  Set your sights miles lower - SD is the new LA, and slightly cheaper.

[SunnyBeBe]

We've seen our fair share of 100 plus here in the summer. (NC) Plus, high humidity.  It's not even odd to get some 70's in December. I lived in a college dorm with NO air conditioning for one year!  Won't do that again. I'm still traumatized by it. lol   But, I can take the heat, humidity, cold, etc. It's just the dangerous things like tornadoes, lightening, hurricanes, flooding, etc. It seems unrelenting. Granted those in places like FL, TX, OK and KS have a lot of misery too.  

[theredhead77]

17 minutes ago, walnutqueen said:

That (105)?  Is fucking INSANE.  Set your sights miles lower - SD is the new LA, and slightly cheaper.

I'm going back to Long Beach / Lakewood.

[walnutqueen]

45 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I'm going back to Long Beach / Lakewood.

I'm sure it's a lot nicer than I remember ... Long Beach is where I picked up my old sports car, that had been shipped over from Hawaii (which took longer than when I had it shipped to Hawaii from Canada, eh!).  It was H.O.T.  - even back then in the mid 1980s.  And the s.m.o.g. forced me to put the top up and turn on the recirculated AC.  I didn't last long up there, even in the lovely little corner of Glendora where I was staying.  :-)

[auntlada]

7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

We've seen our fair share of 100 plus here in the summer. (NC) Plus, high humidity.  It's not even odd to get some 70's in December. I lived in a college dorm with NO air conditioning for one year!  Won't do that again. I'm still traumatized by it. lol   But, I can take the heat, humidity, cold, etc. It's just the dangerous things like tornadoes, lightening, hurricanes, flooding, etc. It seems unrelenting. Granted those in places like FL, TX, OK and KS have a lot of misery too.  

Oklahoma here, where 100+ temps in the summer are not uncommon and it can get down to below zero in the winter. Or it can be in the 70s in the winter. In 2011, one Oklahoman town had a low temp of -31 degrees (setting a record for the state). Seven days later, the town had a high of 79. That summer we had 30-some days of temps above 100. Also we have tornadoes, but you learn to read the radar and recognize a hook echo and figure out if a tornado looks likely, which direction the storm appears to be moving and how fast it's going. Of course, that can change, so you know where your shelters are and how long it takes to get there. We have years-long droughts, but then it starts raining and doesn't stop and floods everywhere. So basically, weather here is a big topic, but you get used to it.

[theredhead77]

California. A few weeks of stupid hot, a few weeks of wussy-cold and the rest of the time it's glorious. Sure, the ground shakes every few years and the state is on fire every year but there aren't tornado watches when there is a thunder storm (rain? what's that)?

[AgentRXS]

11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

We've seen our fair share of 100 plus here in the summer. (NC) Plus, high humidity.  It's not even odd to get some 70's in December. I lived in a college dorm with NO air conditioning for one year!  Won't do that again. I'm still traumatized by it. lol   But, I can take the heat, humidity, cold, etc. It's just the dangerous things like tornadoes, lightening, hurricanes, flooding, etc. It seems unrelenting. Granted those in places like FL, TX, OK and KS have a lot of misery too.  

Florida (specifically South FL) average temps in the 90s for 9 months out of the year, high humidity, and of course, hurricanes. Terrible thunderstorms with lightning in the spring and summer.In fact, just a couple days ago there was a huge lightning strike just outside my window.  3 months on average of good weather, but during those times, the area is so inundated with tourists that its stressful to go to the anywhere. Overdevelopment combined with converting driving lanes into longer sidewalks/bicycle lanes has made traffic even worse.  Alternate transportation is a no go--the bus schedule is still unchanged from the '80s in Ft. Lauderdale.  Northern and Central FL is probably less hectic (although development is changing that) but good paying jobs are hard to come by in some of those areas. We are also in the midst of an algae crisis throughout the state that is polluting our waterways. But hey, c'mon down! :)

[SunnyBeBe]

AgentRXS, no offense, but, it sounds too much like NC weather wise.  Over the last couple of years, we've had lightening and snow at the same time!  

I've also considered Oregon or Washington state. 

Edited September 18, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Bastet]

On 9/17/2018 at 7:26 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

Has anyone ever considered relocating due to weather issues?

No, but the opposite - I won't relocate, because I love the weather here (Los Angeles) - so I understand your desire!

[DeLurker]

On 9/17/2018 at 9:26 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

Has anyone ever considered relocating due to weather issues?.

I’ve considered relocating several times based on my irrational desire to have huge, floofy, drooly dogs.  I don’t do particularly well in colder climates where they seem to be more suited for, plus pesky things like being able to afford to own enough space to give them adequate roaming room.

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

I’ve considered relocating several times based on my irrational desire to have huge, floofy, drooly dogs.

I bet there is a huge floofy drooly dog rescue that would love to have your love!

[auntlada]

9 hours ago, Jean-Beth said:

We share the same attitude as Texas but with different temperature extremes.

I think the same is true all across the Great Plains (which Wikipedia tells me is called the Prairies in Canada).

[ABay]

Every place I've lived has used "if you don't like the weather, wait a minute".

[SunnyBeBe]

On 9/19/2018 at 12:54 PM, ABay said:

Every place I've lived has used "if you don't like the weather, wait a minute".

Yes, I know what you mean.  I started considering the transition more seriously before Florence, but, since then, as well.  I have started to really notice how in NC we have Special Weather bulletins, where there is an Emergency announcement preceded with an annoying buzzer, then scrolled affected counties across the tv screen with a person announcing the emergency.  It's usually, severe thunder storm warning or a tornado warning.  Some nights, it's difficult to hear the tv, due to the number of interruptions. And, it's on all channels, even cable.  I'm not complaining of the warning, since, it's a safety thing to save lives, but, it's just gotten so routine now.  That's messed up.  It's another sign that I should relocate. 

Edited October 6, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[KittyMom4]

2019 will be a year of big transitions for me, I've been divorced and living on my own for 17 years and raised two well-adjusted, self-sufficient daughters who are now on their own. 3 years ago I met the most amazing man and we got in engaged this past August, I am now in the process of downsizing from a 2,200 sq ft house to a 900 sq ft house. I have begun the purging process starting in my basement where I have accumulated an amazing amount of things that I thought had sentimental value or could be used in the future. Its surprising how much of it I have very little attachment to once I realize I will have to pay to store it if I want to keep it. I thought it would be hard to let some stuff go, toys my kids loved when they were little, their crib sets that my mother and I crafted together, but I actually feel like a heavy load has been lifted off of my shoulders. Neither of my girls are planning to have children and even if they do, they'll want to pick out their own nursery decor. It makes me happy to think another needy family may enjoy these things. Plus I am learning to let go of stuff, literally stuff, instead of hoping I'll have a use for it some day. It was more of a burden than I knew to have boxes and bins full of stuff that was not being used. I still have a ton of stuff to go through and distribute but with every load dropped off at Goodwill I feel little lighter and a lot happier. I'm looking forward to having less! 

[theredhead77]

I wish my mom has the same mindset as your do, @GoodieGirl. She found my old crib (I'm in my early 40s) and still gripes that no one will take it. Uh, in addition to the age / wear / new safety standards it's probably covered in lead paint!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Congratulations on your engagement!

[KittyMom4]

Lol @theredhead77, my mom is the same way, it's probably why I am not having issues with getting rid of the stuff I have! She has been begging me to take a rocking chair that she bought when my oldest was born (28 years ago!) because she thinks I should have it for when I have grandchildren. First, again, my girls have expressed zero interest in being parents, and second, the chair is huge, bulky, heavy, and ugly. I have no room to store it in my fiance's house, and bottom line, I.don't.want.it. I told her to donate it, she almost passed out. It's very hard for her to let go of "sentimental" things, even when they are completely useless. Prime example: her oldest brother passed away 5 years ago, she and my dad were charged with emptying his apartment so, instead of dumping or distributing things in the town where he lived, they rented a u-haul and hauled it 5 1/2 hours back to their house. Then made me and my siblings go through it with them to see what we wanted, and were appalled that we didn't want much. Who wants some guys old yucky recliner??? It took them 1 & 1/2 years of paying for a storage unit before they finally threw in the towel and got rid of his junk. My mom couldn't believe people didn't want used pots and pans and outdated clothing. smh.

[theredhead77]

14 minutes ago, GoodieGirl said:

Prime example: her oldest brother passed away 5 years ago, she and my dad were charged with emptying his apartment so, instead of dumping or distributing things in the town where he lived, they rented a u-haul and hauled it 5 1/2 hours back to their house. Then made me and my siblings go through it with them to see what we wanted, and were appalled that we didn't want much.

SNIP

My mom couldn't believe people didn't want used pots and pans and outdated clothing.

We could be related. When my paternal grandfather passed away she and my dad lugged all sorts of shit back to their house. When I was home a few weeks ago I was looking for a knife and ended up emptying out their "knife drawer". I swear if the cops happened to have knocked on the door I would have been arrested or something. 3 full sets of knives. Theirs, my grandfathers, and some other random set. I did take a lot of his stuff for my first apartment but there is all sorts of random furniture and random shit stashed at my parents house. Oh, and he died over 20 years ago.

Their garage is full of things because my mom is going to have a garage sale (for over 20 years). Same with her closet. I finally started tossing things that were mine and pointed out all the ruined clothing that needs to be tossed. No one wants that, mom.  She took boxes and boxes of books to the library for the "friends of the library" sale. Except these books were so old and musty / probably moldy I am certain they ended up in the dumpster. I went through my old room and tossed tapes and candles that were stashed in my old dresser. She wanted me to keep the tapes because their stereo has a tape player. First of all, they are mine, mom and all this music is available through multiple sources online. Second, you didn't even know they existed until 30 seconds ago. In the trash they go.

I'm not a minimalist but I hate clutter and tchotchkes and I'm certain it's due to the clutter and tchotchke covered surfaces I grew up with.

[KittyMom4]

49 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Their garage is full of things because my mom is going to have a garage sale (for over 20 years). Same with her closet. I finally started tossing things that were mine and pointed out all the ruined clothing that needs to be tossed. No one wants that, mom.  She took boxes and boxes of books to the library for the "friends of the library" sale. Except these books were so old and musty / probably moldy I am certain they ended up in the dumpster. I went through my old room and tossed tapes and candles that were stashed in my old dresser. She wanted me to keep the tapes because their stereo has a tape player. First of all, they are mine, mom and all this music is available through multiple sources online. Second, you didn't even know they existed until 30 seconds ago. In the trash they go.

I'm not a minimalist but I hate clutter and tchotchkes and I'm certain it's due to the clutter and tchotchke covered surfaces I grew up with.

We MUST be related!!! A couple years ago my dad brought down all the toys that had been stored in the attic since we were kids. The attic gets very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter so what do you think those toys looked like? He thought we'd like to keep some of them, we all declined to take anything. Seriously? Those toys were destroyed, and they were 30+ years old!!! He couldn't believe it, thankfully he didn't argue as we tossed them into his garbage dumpster.

It has definitely been the catalyst for me to get rid of anything I haven't touched in the 17 years I've had it stored in my basement. 

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, GoodieGirl said:

It has definitely been the catalyst for me to get rid of anything I haven't touched in the 17 years I've had it stored in my basement. 

I'm discovering that a significant change in one's personal life can absolutely sever the ties to stuff. 

I'm happily tossing out all sorts of stuff that has just been sitting around collecting dust. Clothes are getting bagged up and donated. Miscellaneous junk that has no value to anybody goes in the trash. Things that somebody might actually use (but not me) are getting set aside at the moment. I figure I'll get the eBay account up and running at some point to give stuff new homes.   

[DeLurker]

21 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I wish my mom has the same mindset as your do, @GoodieGirl. She found my old crib (I'm in my early 40s) and still gripes that no one will take it. Uh, in addition to the age / wear / new safety standards it's probably covered in lead paint!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Congratulations on your engagement!

One possible explanation, other than the pack rat one, is that your parents may have lived through a time where there were some severe financial crisis and just not enough of everything.

My Mom has the tendency to keep almost everything, but she also grew up in a time of war where her country was being bombed regularly.  She stopped going to school in 1st or 2nd grade because the schools were bombed, but also because she had to work to help support her family.  By 10, she was a live-in nanny for an American officer's babies living hundreds of miles from her own home and unable to see them more than a few times a year.

I never knew my Mom didn't finish school - I was mystified when she signed up for GED classes and my Dad gave me a very brief outline as to why that was so.  There's a lot about her early years that she doesn't talk about.  So if she stockpiles canned goods and paper products, I am not going to say anything - I just go through a do a purge of out of date stuff when I visit.  She has more clothes and shoes than any one person could ever wear (but all good quality bought at huge discounts because she is still careful with her money), but she also lived through times where there was never enough of even the basics.

My Mom's case may be an extreme example, but perhaps there is more than just sentimental value at play with your parents.

[BookWoman56]

I’m going through essentially the flip side of this with my mother’s stuff. My father died 5 years ago, fairly soon after my mother had had a stroke. They had a 3000+ sf, multi-level house filled with expensive furniture, electronics, etc., plus accumulated stuff that my mother had gotten over the years. In the rush to get my mother relocated after my father’s death, various possessions were given away to extended family members and friends. My mother made the decisions on which stuff would go to which person, but this all took place when some immediate family members were not in town, and my mother was still not recovered from her stroke. So some bad decisions, at least from my perspective, were made. For example, my father had over $10K of electronics, along with a huge collection of vinyl, and a big collection of family movies that he had been converting to digital format. All that stuff went to a family friend, which to me makes no sense. Then while my mother was living with my oldest sister, prior to going into an assisted living facility and then once she was in the facility, one of my oldest sister’s kids began appropriating some of my mother’s possessions. So, some very nice, expensive jewelry disappeared, along with kitchen stuff (extra large kitchen aid stand mixer that was almost new), and Christmas ornaments and other decorations.  Most of this happened while my oldest sister was seriously ill, shortly before she died. 

The upshot of this is that now my mother is living with me, I have had to remind her that of the possessions she thinks she has, there are those she gave away, those that were sold because of lack of space, those that one of my nieces essentially stole, and those that she still has. So instead of downsizing, I am having to go buy new crap to replace her old crap. I can see the day coming fairly soon when I have to buy a storage shed to hold the overflow. 

[auntlada]

44 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

One possible explanation, other than the pack rat one, is that your parents may have lived through a time where there were some severe financial crisis and just not enough of everything.

My Mom has the tendency to keep almost everything, but she also grew up in a time of war where her country was being bombed regularly.  She stopped going to school in 1st or 2nd grade because the schools were bombed, but also because she had to work to help support her family.  By 10, she was a live-in nanny for an American officer's babies living hundreds of miles from her own home and unable to see them more than a few times a year.

I never knew my Mom didn't finish school - I was mystified when she signed up for GED classes and my Dad gave me a very brief outline as to why that was so.  There's a lot about her early years that she doesn't talk about.  So if she stockpiles canned goods and paper products, I am not going to say anything - I just go through a do a purge of out of date stuff when I visit.  She has more clothes and shoes than any one person could ever wear (but all good quality bought at huge discounts because she is still careful with her money), but she also lived through times where there was never enough of even the basics.

My Mom's case may be an extreme example, but perhaps there is more than just sentimental value at play with your parents.

My grandfather was similar, except that he didn't always buy useful stuff. If it was on sale, though, he had a hard time resisting. He worked at a hardware store and would bring home slightly damaged stuff the store was throwing out because they couldn't sell it. He'd say, "You can't even see the broken part in the corner. It's still good." He kept tons of stuff, saying that it would be worth something someday. Some of it might have been, although the son that cleared out his house after my grandmother died didn't have anybody come look at any of it to see. My grandfather had a lot of just junk, but there were also good silverware sets and old metal toys (cars and things) and wind-up toys from the 1940s that a collector might have wanted. The American Picker guys would have loved my grandfather's house.

The reason he bought stuff on sale and brought home slightly damaged stuff and kept things was because he was born in 1916 and lived through the Depression.

(He also had a septic system in the middle of the city because he wouldn't pay to be on the city sewer system and refused to have air conditioning. My grandmother always said if he died first, the first thing she was going to do was get air conditioning -- and that's what she did.)

Edited December 27, 2018 by auntlada

[theredhead77]

51 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

One possible explanation, other than the pack rat one, is that your parents may have lived through a time where there were some severe financial crisis and just not enough of everything.

That would make sense except she grew up comfortable and she always had plans to have this mythical garage sale. She wasn't keeping these things 'just in case', she has a seriously distorted view of what things are worth and what people actually want. She always has (this isn't an age related thing). And now that she realizes she's never going to have this garage sale it's too late to donate or sell a lot of these things because they are ruined due to age and poor storage.

I'm trying to convince her that many of her excess kitchen utensils can go to a place like Habitat for Humanity. These items are in great condition (and just extras) that would quickly sell in their thrift store. Several complete sets of silverware (not the good silver, just normal cutlery) would be perfect!

And just to be clear - I'm not throwing out things that are hers or my dads. The things I've been tossing are / were mine and were left behind, in drawers when I moved out.

This is probably veering off the Transition topic and could migrate into chit-chat or the family thread

Edited December 27, 2018 by theredhead77

[KittyMom4]

16 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I'm trying to convince her that many of her excess kitchen utensils can go to a place like Habitat for Humanity.

Thanks for this idea, I have a plethora of kitchen utensils that I never use. My ex husband insisted we had to get a wok for making beef & broccoli, guess how many times we actually used it? Once. A skillet works fine, stores much easier and can be used for a million other things. 

Edited December 27, 2018 by GoodieGirl

[KittyMom4]

1 hour ago, JTMacc99 said:

I'm discovering that a significant change in one's personal life can absolutely sever the ties to stuff. 

Totally agree @JTMacc99! With every bundle that gets dropped off I feel less tied down, and in many ways, much happier. 

[DeLurker]

55 minutes ago, auntlada said:

My grandfather was similar, except that he didn't always buy useful stuff. If it was on sale, though, he had a hard time resisting. He worked at a hardware store and would bring home slightly damaged stuff the store was throwing out because they couldn't sell it. He'd say, "You can't even see the broken part in the corner. It's still good." He kept tons of stuff, saying that it would be worth something someday. Some of it might have been, although the son that cleared out his house after my grandmother died didn't have anybody come look at any of it to see. My grandfather had a lot of just junk, but there were also good silverware sets and old metal toys (cars and things) and wind-up toys from the 1940s that a collector might have wanted. The American Picker guys would have loved my grandfather's house.

The reason he bought stuff on sale and brought home slightly damaged stuff and kept things was because he was born in 1916 and lived through the Depression.

(He also had a septic system in the middle of the city because he wouldn't pay to be on the city sewer system and refused to have air conditioning. My grandmother always said if he died first, the first thing she was going to do was get air conditioning -- and that's what she did.)

My Mom's garage is full of random stuff that doesn't make sense, but if you ever need something and can't find it, she'll have it there or something that can be finagled to work.

My ex's grandfather always made the decisions in his marriage.  He always wanted a convertible car, no matter where they lived, so they always had a convertible car.  Despite being comfortably financially, he was adamant that his wife not buy a frost-free refrigerator which his wife very much wanted.  The first time she was defrosting the freezer to clean it after he died, she stopped in the middle of it and went out and bought herself a frost-free model.

[theredhead77]

@GoodieGirl when I moved I donated everything that I could to Habitat for Humanity. They have age restrictions on appliances and won't take soft furniture but everything else that was in decent shape went there - they even pick up!

The rest of the stuff went out in the alley (my place backed up to an alley and there were always people scavenging for things). H4H couldn't take my refrigerator so the maintenance guy took off the doors for me and the movers put it out back. I added a sign "I work, owner moved out of state". Hopefully someone took it.

Animal hospitals and shelters will take your blankets and sheets.

Check with local churches to see if they do any direct outreach if you have winter coats you are getting rid of, or excess toiletries you are purging.

Emergency shelters for adults will take travel side toiletries.

If you have luggage or backpacks that you are purging check with your local group homes, I bet there are some kids there who could put those to use.

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, GoodieGirl said:

With every bundle that gets dropped off I feel less tied down, and in many ways, much happier. 

Less tied down. Less stuck.

[emma675]

Y'all have motivated me to clean out my closets this weekend. 

[ParadoxLost]

9 hours ago, GoodieGirl said:

We MUST be related!!! A couple years ago my dad brought down all the toys that had been stored in the attic since we were kids. The attic gets very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter so what do you think those toys looked like? He thought we'd like to keep some of them, we all declined to take anything. Seriously? Those toys were destroyed, and they were 30+ years old!!! He couldn't believe it, thankfully he didn't argue as we tossed them into his garbage dumpster.

When my grandmother died, we found two to three foot long candy canes that had to be 60+ years old.  The food/candy variety not the decoration variety.

[theredhead77]

I didn't have a chance to post this earlier - Zappos (the shoe company) partners with several organizations (shoes & clothing, books, and school supplies) under Zappos for Good. You box up your stuff, print a free UPS label and mail it off. 

https://secure-www.zappos.com/zapposforgood/give

[NutMeg]

On 12/27/2018 at 8:08 PM, GoodieGirl said:

Totally agree @JTMacc99! With every bundle that gets dropped off I feel less tied down, and in many ways, much happier. 

I know the feeling! I went through the same exercise last year when moving back from Asia and, after the initial anxiety about the idea of sorting, it became easier and easier to put up for donation or to throw things. I was really letting go, in all senses of the term. It actually was exhilarating!

 

Which reminds me that I should start again, because there are clothes and books that I didn't intend to keep but that were packed by the movers and that are now in my closets/on my shelves for no good reason. But it is harder to get motivated without a pressing reason, at least for me. I love the result of sorting/organizing, I'm just a big procrastinator in that regard :)

[KittyMom4]

4 hours ago, NutMeg said:

I know the feeling! I went through the same exercise last year when moving back from Asia and, after the initial anxiety about the idea of sorting, it became easier and easier to put up for donation or to throw things. I was really letting go, in all senses of the term. It actually was exhilarating!

Exactly @NutMeg, at first I was apprehensive about letting go of things but the realization that #1, I haven't seen it in 17 years and haven't missed, and #2, I will have to pay to keep it in storage made it easier to toss it in the 'donate' or 'garbage' pile.  Now when I Iook at my basement I don't see piles of boxes and think "ugh, someday I gotta go through those", I see beautiful empty space that makes me feel happy and free!  The most cathartic moment was when I opened the box that contained things from my wedding: the album, the cake topper and my bridal bouquet, all if it went into the garbage pile and I can't tell you how wonderful to have the last of my ex out of my house. 

I've made a promise to myself to live with less going forward. Nothing will go in a box to be stored for later use, nothing will get purchased that isn't a multi-use item or that I will use on a frequent basis. 

Edited January 2, 2019 by GoodieGirl
wrong word used

[KittyMom4]

On 12/27/2018 at 2:57 PM, theredhead77 said:

@GoodieGirl when I moved I donated everything that I could to Habitat for Humanity. They have age restrictions on appliances and won't take soft furniture but everything else that was in decent shape went there - they even pick up!

The rest of the stuff went out in the alley (my place backed up to an alley and there were always people scavenging for things). H4H couldn't take my refrigerator so the maintenance guy took off the doors for me and the movers put it out back. I added a sign "I work, owner moved out of state". Hopefully someone took it.

Animal hospitals and shelters will take your blankets and sheets.

Check with local churches to see if they do any direct outreach if you have winter coats you are getting rid of, or excess toiletries you are purging.

Emergency shelters for adults will take travel side toiletries.

If you have luggage or backpacks that you are purging check with your local group homes, I bet there are some kids there who could put those to use.

Thanks for this, the luggage thing especially because I have a set that I need to get rid of and wondered where would be the best place. My appliances (except my washer & dryer) are staying, so no worries there. Anyone one know if animal shelters take stuffed animals? I found a tote full of them and neither of my daughters want them. If not I will likely dispose of them, I know most daycare centers won't take them due to bacteria and/or allergy issues. 

[theredhead77]

10 minutes ago, GoodieGirl said:

Anyone one know if animal shelters take stuffed animals? I found a tote full of them and neither of my daughters want them. If not I will likely dispose of them, I know most daycare centers won't take them due to bacteria and/or allergy issues. 

I would call your local shelter. There are organizations who take stuffed animals, I think some fire departments do if they are new or 'like new' to pass out to kids at fire and emergency scenes.

[MargeGunderson]

For everyone who feels better with less stuff, you are backed up with science! The Unbearable Heaviness of Clutter  (New York Times).  The article rings true for me - stuff makes me anxious. I did a purge last summer and am going to do it again this spring. I'm also trying trying a no-spend challenge - starting with this month but hopefully can keep it going - to keep me from bringing things into the house.  Apparently I inherited the gene for stocking up from my mother/grandmother, which explains the 6 bottles of Clorox bleach spray in my cleaning supplies (and the 4 boxes of quart sized ziploc bags, etc.). That's the kind of stuff I need to work on this year. 

[KittyMom4]

@MargeGunderson thank you for the link, this is the statement that hit home for me. 

"Dr. Ferrari noted that clutter is also often the result of an “over-attachment” to our personal items, which makes it difficult to part with them."

[itsadryheat]

How cool is this thread! Just found it.

I don't miss the clutter - I miss thinking about the clutter.

I was blind sighted resulting in a divorce. Gave away most everything, things I kept I wanted. Moved out of state and used Mayflower. Last time I moved it was with friends, beer, pizza and U-Haul. 

Mayflower kept/stole/lost/ 1/4 of the stuff I wanted, and then buried me in paperwork for a year. I finally realized I couldn't move forward focusing on the past, so I quit trying.

I sometimes find myself l looking for something that I once had and longing for the cuisinart and my favorite hiking boots I once enjoyed.

[theredhead77]

12 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

 Moved out of state and used Mayflower. Last time I moved it was with friends, beer, pizza and U-Haul. 

Mayflower kept/stole/lost/ 1/4 of the stuff I wanted, and then buried me in paperwork for a year. I finally realized I couldn't move forward focusing on the past, so I quit trying.

I sometimes find myself l looking for something that I once had and longing for the cuisinart and my favorite hiking boots I once enjoyed.

Wow. Mayflower was one of the companies I was going to use when I moved cross country. So glad I didn't. I just read a bunch of reviews about their awfulness. I thought it was terrible the company I used sent an unload crew of 2 and didn't tell them I was on the third floor with no stairs elevator then I read Mayflower contracts out to individuals who ended up bringing high school kids and family members to unload.

Edited February 22, 2019 by theredhead77
third floor w/ no elevator.

[itsadryheat]

Yes, lesson learned . . . as usual, the hard way.

Mayflower is one of my new swear words.

And a new mantra is "It's only stuff".

50% success rate on the mantra.

Please pass on the new swear word☺️

[BookWoman56]

20 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

And a new mantra is "It's only stuff".

I feel for you. It's been a very long time now, but when I was much younger my then-husband and I were moving across town, using a U-Haul. I was in the car, and the husband and one of his friends were in the U-Haul. They stopped at a gas station/convenience store and somehow managed for both of them to go inside the store, leaving the keys in the ignition. And of course during the short time they were inside the store, someone stole the U-Haul, which contained the bulk of all my possessions. I wish it had been Mayflower or another professional moving company, because then I would have felt free to throw a fit with them, instead of having to resist the urge to ask my husband and his friend what kind of fucking idiots they were to leave the keys in the ignition. 

That incident forced me to let go of being overly attached to physical possessions. What I learned was that the things like furniture, electronics, and so forth can be replaced. I couldn't replace some one-off things, such as my copy of my master's thesis, some photographs, and similar items. Since then, I have been pretty ruthless when it comes time to move, in terms of discarding/donating stuff that I just don't need or want any more. 

[KittyMom4]

Well it's official, the closing for the sale of my house is set for Monday. Thursday night I will be leaving the house I built, lived in and loved for the last 17 years. I think the moving out process has helped me come to terms with leaving, as I went through rooms, cupboards, closets and boxes I rediscovered things that made me grateful, thankful and hopeful. Letting go of a lot of things that held me back and finding things that I'd thought I'd lost and now can enjoy again. I've been thinking of penning a note for the new owners, letting them know that they are moving into a house that was a shelter and a haven for a mom and her two daughters who were embarking a new life that they were both terrified of and exhilerated to begin, and wishing them the same laughter and joys that we experienced there. 

I am looking forward to beginning new projects at my new house, with the man I love to help me. This move has been a learning process for me, letting go of a lot of things and realizing that memories are the best kinds of souveniors.