S06.E19: Blue Christmas

[Raynedon]

I cringe at every scene of Nova.  I feel so badly for her and her chances of escaping the unhealthy atmosphere of her home, her parents' lack of parenting abilities, and the fact that she'll forever be compared to her sister who is being raised by protective, assertive, actively involved adoptive parents.  It's painful to watch her. 

The scene with Tyler telling Nova, 'no-no-no, get down from there' and in the next breath saying 'oh forget it, do what you want', had me shaking my head and yelling that they should have taken parenting classes.  And then, when their 'therapist' (cough, cough) asked how their parenting of Nova was going - SMH!!   I think they feel that because they birthed one child that they're qualified to parent their second yet they don't have a clue what they're doing and are doing a horrible job of it.  And, to think they're talking about having more?  OMG, please noooo.   A real therapist, who would have noted long ago that Ty and Cate both grew up with horrible home lives and horrible parenting themselves would have recommended parenting classes and help for them, but nooooo.   All I can think of when I watch this family is poor Nova.  My heart breaks for the struggles she's going to have because of her parents' immaturity, emotional illnesses and lifestyle.

As so many have said previously, put some clothes on the child!  It's fall and everyone else is wearing long pants and sweatshirts, yet Nova is never dressed in anything but a diaper.  That's nothing but lazy parenting.  UGH    

[Mr. Miner]

Amber shoved that Rottweiler in the house, you know it probably takes huge dumps that don't get cleaned up right away.

[SPLAIN]

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Ryan may pay child support but I don't think he sees his son unless or until the cameras come around (per Maci).  Maci said Beneley cries and doesn't like going to Jenn and Larry's because he's alone there with them; no Ryan, no friends, nobody but himself and his grandparents (who've acted like parents for the past 7 years).  

And did I hear right, didn't Maci also say when Ryan has visitation his parents interfere in his time with Bentley? I was distracted so I am not sure if that was what she said. What is the truth? It seems there is a sprinkling of this and that being mentioned about Ryan and I am confused. 

 

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DOES he pay child support? Not challenging you, but I'm just not sure this has ever been confirmed. Also, he sees Bentley VERY sporadically. I remember more times of him not showing up or showing up super late than I remember fun, father-son moments. 

Up until this moment I would comment "yes", but after reading your post you now have me wondering. LOL  I am sure Maci would have said something about child support if Ryan wasn't paying it, right? Back in the 2011 season Maci talked about Ryan missing his child support payments. 

[ClassyCourtHeels]

6 hours ago, ghoulina said:

DOES he pay child support? Not challenging you, but I'm just not sure this has ever been confirmed. Also, he sees Bentley VERY sporadically. I remember more times of him not showing up or showing up super late than I remember fun, father-son moments. 

With the way maci complains about everything Ryan, I'd assume we'd know if he wasn't paying support.

 

It was very sweet of Ryan to ask his dad to be his best man. He can be shit sometimes but overall he's a good dude. He really needs to get holiday shit on paper. We joke a lot about Mackenzie being his live in nurse but I think she'll have a very positive influence on his life.

 

How damn long did Amber cry about that ornament BS?!?!? What a slapdick 

Edited May 10, 2017 by ClassyCourtHeels

[butterbody]

14 hours ago, alexa said:

 

I also think Matt has taken a turn to be a little less annoying and more realistic.  Don't get me wrong...can't stand him, but even he was like...stop crying, why are you crying, etc, etc.  I do actually think he was trying to protect Leah from having a mother that makes her feel bad in that moment.  Now him buying a Corvette with Amber's money takes away all of those kind feelings I had but I do see improvement that he isn't totally off his rocker.  

Interesting take on that scene. I saw it completely differently. I thought Waaamber was crying for Matt's benefit. Like, look at me- poor, wounded mother of the year. Then dumb ass Matt had to tell her not to cry so loud that Leah heard it. Either eay, they're both dirty manipulative assholes.

[lexiexx]

6 hours ago, rayndon said:

Ryan may pay child support but I don't think he sees his son unless or until the cameras come around (per Maci).  Maci said Beneley cries and doesn't like going to Jenn and Larry's because he's alone there with them; no Ryan, no friends, nobody but himself and his grandparents (who've acted like parents for the past 7 years).  

I understand completely where Maci is coming from.  Jenn and Larry are the grandparents and although she appreciates what they've done for her and Bentley in the past, they're grandparents and don't get choices in visitation/custody/scheduling like parents do; they take what the parents are willing to share with them.  Jenn and Larry should be mad at their son, not Maci about this.  In the past they've said they agreed with Maci about Ryan's lack of involvement in his son's life. 

I think we're just seeing Maci's frustrations because it's holiday time (when visitation squabbles happen the most in families) Bentley is older, his family has expanded and the dynamic with his siblings is more important to him now, he has his own opinions and Ryan's inability to make any changes in his parenting is becoming more obvious in the family dynamic and Maci is tired of it.  I don't blame her.   I think she's trying to light a fire to get Ryan to assume the role of parent in Bentley's life rather than Jenn and Larry doing it by talking to MacKenzie (who seems to understand what Maci is talking about), but we'll have to see if anything changes.  I have a sad feeling Ryan will never be actively involved in Bentley's life.  Although Bentley has a stepfather who gives him the attention he's missing from Ryan, nothing can ever replace what he's craving and knows he's missing from his bio father.  

I don't know why Maci's version of events is believable.   She's the same person who said that she found out she  was pregnant for the third time at a doctors appointment for birth control.  Then turned around and filmed that fake scene where she was all gee whiz am I fat?  Could it be?   There was another time when she was on an aftershow waxing nostalgic about how one of her regrets about being a teen mom is that her parents didn't get enough time with her, because she moved in with Ryan.   Then turned around and told Jenn and Larry that her kids would be out of the house while she was still young, and that her parents did it to her.   

Its really none of her business if Ryan chooses to let his parents see Bentley when it's his time.  The only purpose that would serve is for Maci to get her way.   

Ryan does pay child support, I remember a scene where she mentioned that she didn't get it and he said it had come out of his check.   It seems like the major change that Maci wants to see in Ryan's parenting is not allowing Bentley to go to his parents house during visitation.   Also, I don't see where you are getting that Taylor is giving Bentley attention.   The guy is hanging out and drinking beer in pretty much every scene from what I noticed.   

[JBC344]

See I don't think Maci is complaining about Jenn and Larry spending time with Bentley.  She doesn't have an issue with that, what Maci is complaining about is that because Ryan is mostly an absentee father it has created this situation where Jenn/Larry have turned into the "3rd set of parents".  Sometimes that is easy for Maci and sometimes it creates a problem overall.  That is really the crux of the issue, not that Maci has an issue with Bentley seeing Jenn/Larry.  It has also created this parallel that when Jenn/Larry/Ryan are getting along and all on the same page it  comes across as two sets of parents against Maci.

Like Maci says she can't objectively talk to Jenn about these issues because Jenn gets overprotective of Ryan and it really bothers Maci, while also not realizing that she in some ways has to deal with Jenn/Larry because of Ryan's inability.  So it becomes this weird cycle where whatever happens Maci inherently becomes the bad guy.

[lexiexx]

Against her how?   Jen and Larry have done nothing but accommodate Maci.   They have been supportive, helped with child care, even when she has bashed their son on TV for multiple seasons.   Im guessing they do it for Bentleys sake.   The only thing they have gotten together on is asking her for time with Bentley, like any grandparents would want.    And she denies them that time usually, has also denied Ryan himself time when he has asked.    I don't see how it's out of line for them to ask for Bentley on thanksgiving so that he can see Larry's extended family but he can go to see Taylor's family, then they can't have the time on Christmas that they want either?   When Maci and Taylor break up he'll get a taste of that, just like Kail and Javi.  

[GreatKazu]

32 minutes ago, JBC344 said:

See I don't think Maci is complaining about Jenn and Larry spending time with Bentley.  

Maci did say Jen and Larry are "selfish with Bentley." Now, that could possibly mean one thing to her and come off sounding another way to some. To me, it seemed she was stating they have Bentley in their care a lot AND that they are taking Bentley away from Ryan when it is his visitation. I am pretty sure she said Jen and Larry interfere with Ryan's visitation with Bentley. I would have to rewatch to be certain. So, now we have Maci saying they interfere and they are selfish. My conclusion is Maci is complaining about the time the Edwards spend with Bentley.  It could be due to the complaints she is receiving from Bentley about them. 

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Its really none of her business if Ryan chooses to let his parents see Bentley when it's his time.  The only purpose that would serve is for Maci to get her way.   

I fully agree, however, Maci said (I know, her credibility is not outstanding) Bentley complains to her about Jen. Maci also stated Jen insists Bentley sleep with her. It is one thing if Bentley wanted to sleep with his grandmother, but it seems to be her insisting he sleep with her. She has also said Bentley doesn't want to spend time with Ryan, which I believe only because of that Father's Day episode where Bentley looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else instead of being with Ryan. He doesn't seem to look forward to seeing his dad. He has reached that point where he knows what a flake Ryan is. I do agree the Edwards have been very helpful and accommodating to Maci. 

Edited May 10, 2017 by GreatKazu

[lexiexx]

I wonder how much of that is what Maci puts in Bentley's head and how much is his own reasoning.   I feel like it could be either.   It's just that Maci is so controlling I can't imagine her not having her hands in that pot.   

[GreatKazu]

1 minute ago, lexiexx said:

I wonder how much of that is what Maci puts in Bentley's head and how much is his own reasoning.   I feel like it could be either.   It's just that Maci is so controlling I can't imagine her not having her hands in that pot.   

Very true. I can't disagree with that. Maci can sure manipulate and lie about her pregnancies. There are other times, but the pregnancies stand out. As I pointed out, her credibility is iffy. She could be putting seeds in Bentley's head. She has proclaimed Taylor as Bentley's father. Not step-father, FATHER.  Shame on her. Ryan is a lot of things, but to dismiss him and proclaim another guy as Bentley's father is not her decision to make. That will be Bentley's call. 

[JBC344]

2 hours ago, lexiexx said:

Against her how?   Jen and Larry have done nothing but accommodate Maci.   They have been supportive, helped with child care, even when she has bashed their son on TV for multiple seasons.   Im guessing they do it for Bentleys sake.   The only thing they have gotten together on is asking her for time with Bentley, like any grandparents would want.    And she denies them that time usually, has also denied Ryan himself time when he has asked.    I don't see how it's out of line for them to ask for Bentley on thanksgiving so that he can see Larry's extended family but he can go to see Taylor's family, then they can't have the time on Christmas that they want either?   When Maci and Taylor break up he'll get a taste of that, just like Kail and Javi.  

They do have the time on Christmas.  I think people are confused over the arrangement.  Maci has Bentley Christmas Eve night into the morning, then he goes over Jenn and Larry's all Christmas Day.  That has been their arrangement for the last eight years.  Maci was annoyed because Jenn wanted to change that schedule and instead of bringing it up to her she asked Bentley who then told Maci.  Maci then said Bentley always says yes to Jen even when he doesn't want to because he doesn't want her to get mad at him, that is when Maci says Bentley should blame her if he is scared of being the bad guy.

It has nothing to do with "how good" Jen/Larry are to Maci, or how grateful Maci needs to be in return.  The point is that Jen, Larry, and Maci shouldn't be accommodating one another at all.  Maci and Ryan are the parents, Jen and Larry are the paternal grandparents.  Ryan should be "accommodating" his parents if/when they want to see Bentley.  Because Ryan is a uninterested father it has created this situation where Jen and Larry came in to pick up the slack, but at the end of the day that doesn't make them "equal parents" in the scenario. I have seen no evidence that Maci has "usually denied" Jen and Larry time with Bentley.  Yes, both sides are disagreeing about the Holidays but I don't think that is indicative of their everyday life.

The reality is that things are different now.  Ryan no longer lives in the same house with his parents.  Bentley is getting older and he has a different family life now with his primary parent that he didn't have before.

[lexiexx]

3 hours ago, JBC344 said:

They do have the time on Christmas.  I think people are confused over the arrangement.  Maci has Bentley Christmas Eve night into the morning, then he goes over Jenn and Larry's all Christmas Day.  That has been their arrangement for the last eight years.  Maci was annoyed because Jenn wanted to change that schedule and instead of bringing it up to her she asked Bentley who then told Maci.  Maci then said Bentley always says yes to Jen even when he doesn't want to because he doesn't want her to get mad at him, that is when Maci says Bentley should blame her if he is scared of being the bad guy.

It has nothing to do with "how good" Jen/Larry are to Maci, or how grateful Maci needs to be in return.  The point is that Jen, Larry, and Maci shouldn't be accommodating one another at all.  Maci and Ryan are the parents, Jen and Larry are the paternal grandparents.  Ryan should be "accommodating" his parents if/when they want to see Bentley.  Because Ryan is a uninterested father it has created this situation where Jen and Larry came in to pick up the slack, but at the end of the day that doesn't make them "equal parents" in the scenario. I have seen no evidence that Maci has "usually denied" Jen and Larry time with Bentley.  Yes, both sides are disagreeing about the Holidays but I don't think that is indicative of their everyday life.

The reality is that things are different now.  Ryan no longer lives in the same house with his parents.  Bentley is getting older and he has a different family life now with his primary parent that he didn't have before.

I don't think anyone is confused on the arrangement.   This year they didn't see Bentley for Thanksgiving because he went to see his Stepfathers family instead.  So they asked to switch it up on Christmas.  Ryan, who is supposedly so uninvolved has been the one asking because it's the way Maci wants it.  Maci already knew they wanted it because Bentley mentioned it.  She said no, then texted some shit about how he better not question her paren ting.  

Ryan IS accommodating when his parents want too see Bentley.   That seems to be Maci's major problem.   She's pissed that Jen mentioned switching Christmas to Bentley, and she's pissed when Ryan asks for the time, just like she claims she wants him to.   Nobody ever called Jen and Larry equal partners.   But I do think it makes Maci look like an asshole when she has no problem taking advantage of their kindness when it benefits her and then turning around and taking shit on them to make herself seem high and mighty.   She's no supermom.  Jen has been good to Maci and Maci has repaid that kindness with going on TV and trashing that woman like she's some pathetic obsessed loser when all she wants is to spend time with her only grandchild.  The reality is that Maci wants to punish Ryan for many reasons, some of them personal instead of related to parenting.   Then when he tries to step up and ask the way Maci wants, she tells him no because  he's not involved enough.   They can't win with her.   

[ginger90]

Complications of shared custody. Welcome to the real world.

My son in law has full custody of his two children. Their mother has them on Sunday's. She called this past weekend and said she wouldn't be taking them because she was sick. So, the children were informed. Grandaughter (5 years old)  , says to my daughter, "You and daddy take care if us when you are sick, I don't get it.".  It may not be the best example. Taking them while she was sick probably wouldn't have been the best plan. But, it is an example of being able to switch things up, knowing the other parent will take care of them that day.

[Caracoa1]

Maci uses Bentley to control the Edwards Family...She is crazy.  Ever wonder why her own parents never appear on Teen Mom?  Without TM I believe Maci would have completed college and received her journalism degree....MTV thru easy money at her and look where she is.  She appears to spend every dime she makes so I doubt she will be able to sustain her lifestyle for long after TM ends.

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Complications of shared custody. Welcome to the real world.

My son in law has full custody of his two children. Their mother has them on Sunday's. She called this past weekend and said she wouldn't be taking them because she was sick. So, the children were informed. Grandaughter (5 years old)  , says to my daughter, "You and daddy take care if us when you are sick, I don't get it.".  It may not be the best example. Taking them while she was sick probably wouldn't have been the best plan. But, it is an example of being able to switch things up, knowing the other parent will take care of them that day.

Sounds like the Amber situation when she told Gary she couldn't watch Leah because she was ill. I often wonder how many times Amber calls Gary to say she is "ill" or having one of her depressing days and can't bother to be around her child. Sure, no one wants their kid to be around a sick parent, but what about the plans the other parent has made thinking the other parent will have their visitation? And I surely don't mean those instances where it truly cannot be helped or there is an emergency. I am strictly talking about these single parents who just can't bother to have visitation due to having a cold or something like that. In the real world parents can't shoo their kids to an ex or a relative when they are sick. Parenting will surely be lacking while sick, but many people figure out how to do their job while sick even if it means the kid(s) is watching television in their room while the parent is resting in their room. 

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  Then when he tries to step up and ask the way Maci wants, she tells him no because  he's not involved enough.   They can't win with her.   

Agree. It is also because she is pulling this "Taylor is Bentley's father" crap. Chelsea got ripped for pulling that shit, as she should. Maci found someone who was dumb enough to fall for her "I can't get pregnant" bullshit knowing he wasn't going to turn his back on her. It didn't work the first time so she does it again. Maci is not dumb. Taylor is for not wearing a condom. 

3 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

Maci uses Bentley to control the Edwards Family...She is crazy.  Ever wonder why her own parents never appear on Teen Mom?  Without TM I believe Maci would have completed college and received her journalism degree....MTV thru easy money at her and look where she is.  She appears to spend every dime she makes so I doubt she will be able to sustain her lifestyle for long after TM ends.

This.

[JBC344]

3 hours ago, lexiexx said:

I don't think anyone is confused on the arrangement.   This year they didn't see Bentley for Thanksgiving because he went to see his Stepfathers family instead.  So they asked to switch it up on Christmas.  Ryan, who is supposedly so uninvolved has been the one asking because it's the way Maci wants it.  Maci already knew they wanted it because Bentley mentioned it.  She said no, then texted some shit about how he better not question her paren ting.  

Ryan IS accommodating when his parents want too see Bentley.   That seems to be Maci's major problem.   She's pissed that Jen mentioned switching Christmas to Bentley, and she's pissed when Ryan asks for the time, just like she claims she wants him to.   Nobody ever called Jen and Larry equal partners.   But I do think it makes Maci look like an asshole when she has no problem taking advantage of their kindness when it benefits her and then turning around and taking shit on them to make herself seem high and mighty.   She's no supermom.  Jen has been good to Maci and Maci has repaid that kindness with going on TV and trashing that woman like she's some pathetic obsessed loser when all she wants is to spend time with her only grandchild.  The reality is that Maci wants to punish Ryan for many reasons, some of them personal instead of related to parenting.   Then when he tries to step up and ask the way Maci wants, she tells him no because  he's not involved enough.   They can't win with her.   

That is just the point though, they feel they have a right to see Bentley on Thanksgiving.  They don't, they are the grandparents, not the parents.  Don't get me wrong I'm not saying they shouldn't see him on holidays but if Ryan has no formal schedule than these things need to be planned in advance. The assumption of having him needs to stop.

What was the point of switching it up for Christmas?  They weren't actually asking for more time they were just changing the days which didn't make any sense.  I mentioned this earlier but I don't think that grandparents have a "right" to a grandchild on Christmas morning.  I thought their arrangement was very fair.  Bentley gets to spend Christmas morning opening up his gifts with his siblings at his primary residence and then goes over Jen and Larry's for 90% of Christmas Day, most likely spending the night.

Maci's issue with Ryan "asking for more time", which by the way he actually didn't ask for Christmas.  When McKenzie asked him he had a blank look on his face and mumbled something about he "thinks" his mom has talked to Maci. That would be the exact definition of uninvolved.  Maci's issue is that Ryan asks for more time when it is "Holidays or trips" as opposed to asking for more time to actually parent or help raise him.

For example, does anyone here thinks Ryan contacts Maci on a regular basis to ask her if he can come over and help Bentley with his homework, or take him to the doctor, dentist, make sure he gets to his games on time?  Of course not.  Getting pissed when you don't get a "fair" holiday schedule is sort of disingenuous when you have no real interest in parenting.

Half of Ryan's scenes this episode included McKenzie trying to explain to him how to properly communicate with Maci, not waiting to the last minute, checking in with her, and trying to make a plan.  When Ryan's girlfriend is making an issue of it, that proves he isn't doing it in the first place.

I don't think that Maci takes advantage of Jen and Larry.  I think she feels that she is very accommodating when they see Bentley most of the time and there are some cases where she feels like they over step their place.  This doesn't mean that Maci hates them, wants them out of Bentley's life, wants to take Bentley from them.  Maci just doesn't agree with certain times that they want Bentley. 

In fairness to Maci complaining about them this episode, Jen and Larry spent the last episode complaining about her.  I use the word complain because I don't think either one of them "trash" each other.  Nor do I feel that there is any real bad blood.  They just fundamentally disagree on certain aspects of visitation.

Now on a more positive note, do I think that Ryan is trying to improve? Yes.  I also think that what he is missing is more of the "bigger picture" though.  Ryan making sure he sees Bentley on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is really nice and arrangements should be made I think he misses the point that Bentley still needs to be "raised" and nurtured everyday of his life.  I think the examples I mentioned above are a good way to start.

[GreatKazu]

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Maci's issue with Ryan "asking for more time", which by the way he actually didn't ask for Christmas.  When McKenzie asked him he had a blank look on his face and mumbled something about he "thinks" his mom has talked to Maci. That would be the exact definition of uninvolved.

It could also mean what Maci herself said on the show - Bentley's grandparents interfere with Ryan's visitation. If Ryan says his mom has talked to Maci, it may be his way of saying his mom told him she would contact Maci about Ryan having Bentley over Christmas Eve until Christmas morning. But at HER house, not Ryan's. 

Edited May 10, 2017 by GreatKazu

[JBC344]

7 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

It could also mean what Maci herself said on the show - Bentley's grandparents interfere with Ryan's visitation. If Ryan says his mom has talked to Maci, it may be his way of saying his mom told him she would contact Maci about Ryan having Bentley over Christmas Eve until Christmas morning. But at HER house, not Ryan's. 

As someone else noted, I will take what Maci says with a grain of salt since she hasn't been forthright throughout these 7 years with her own damn self. 

There in lies the confusion.  I really don't think Maci cares that Bentley is over Ryan's house or Jen/Larry's house.  It is the back and forth on who is involved in the decision making.  It's the "am I dealing with Jen/Larry now for this visit, or am I dealing with Jen/Larry/Ryan for this visit, or am I dealing occasionally with just Ryan now.  And who's visit is this exactly?  Is this Ryan's custody time, is this Jen/Larry wanting to spend time with Bentley themselves.

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, JBC344 said:

It has also created this parallel that when Jenn/Larry/Ryan are getting along and all on the same page it  comes across as two sets of parents against Maci.

Right. Or when they're fighting, Ryan (the father) is denying Bentley access to his parents, which is really shitty and puts Maci in an awkward position. 

[ginger90]

I think Ryan needs to start off by having a conversation with his mother. The whole visitation thing needs to be handled by Ryan and Maci, period. Then when he has Bentley he can ask them over for dinner or something.

I hope in real time this has been worked out. I feel bad for Bentley.

[JBC344]

7 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Right. Or when they're fighting, Ryan (the father) is denying Bentley access to his parents, which is really shitty and puts Maci in an awkward position. 

Thank you.  This right here is the prime example of why this "arrangement" can go south so quickly.  Yes, the big fight with Ryan and Larry was the only one of its kind so far but it did put Maci in a position she shouldn't have been and just illustrates how confusing it can all become when one party feels left out or shafted.

[GreatKazu]

On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2017 at 9:10 AM, JBC344 said:

There in lies the confusion.  I really don't think Maci cares that Bentley is over Ryan's house or Jen/Larry's house.  It is the back and forth on who is involved in the decision making.  It's the "am I dealing with Jen/Larry now for this visit, or am I dealing with Jen/Larry/Ryan for this visit, or am I dealing occasionally with just Ryan now.  And who's visit is this exactly?  Is this Ryan's custody time, is this Jen/Larry wanting to spend time with Bentley themselves.

I hate message boards sometimes as our comments don't always come through clear. lol  What I meant by my comment  "But at HER house, not Ryan's" was to simply point out that is Jen's thinking, not Maci's. I don't think Maci cares either. 

The problem with multiple adults involved in a child's life where that child has parents who are not together, are the different homes and therefore, the different rules and different expectations each adult has for the other adults in the situation. No one is on the same page. Each party is assigned blame for how this has turned out.  It is now time for them to sit down together and get this ironed out. 

And I really hate how texting has become the norm for communicating. The time spent on texting could be spent making a phone call. 

Edited May 12, 2017 by GreatKazu
forgot to add the word "hate"

[JBC344]

6 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

I hate message boards sometimes as our comments don't always come through clear. lol  What I meant by my comment  "But at HER house, not Ryan's" was to simply point out that is Jen's thinking, not Maci's. I don't think Maci cares either. 

The problem with multiple adults involved in a child's life where that child has parents who are not together, are the different homes and therefore, the different rules and different expectations each adult has for the other adults in the situation. No one is on the same page. Each party is assigned blame for how this has turned out.  It is now time for them to sit down together and get this ironed out. 

And I really how how texting has become the norm for communicating. The time spent on texting could be spent making a phone call. 

No harm, no foul.  I so agree with you here. Even the producer who I usually find add nothing to the show made the great point, Bentley is getting older now there are different expectations than there were in the past regarding visitation and they should all sit down and discuss it.  I think that Maci had some valid points about having that discussion but I think it needs to happen.  Everyone needs to be heard on the issue, including Taylor and McKenzie.

[GreatKazu]

1 minute ago, JBC344 said:

No harm, no foul.  I so agree with you here. Even the producer who I usually find add nothing to the show made the great point, Bentley is getting older now there are different expectations than there were in the past regarding visitation and they should all sit down and discuss it.  I think that Maci had some valid points about having that discussion but I think it needs to happen.  Everyone needs to be heard on the issue, including Taylor and McKenzie.

I was so in agreement with the producer. They may miss their marks many times, but there is usually that one moment when they can get it right. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On May 8, 2017 at 6:57 PM, MitaJo said:

So that episode that mentioned Javi finding love, was like a TM Aftershow. We finally find out what was wrong with Ryan's eye at Maci's wedding. He wiped his face with a towel that had Nair on it.

Oh, Ryan. This guy is as dumb as bricks. 

10 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

Maci uses Bentley to control the Edwards Family...She is crazy.  Ever wonder why her own parents never appear on Teen Mom?  Without TM I believe Maci would have completed college and received her journalism degree....MTV thru easy money at her and look where she is.  She appears to spend every dime she makes so I doubt she will be able to sustain her lifestyle for long after TM ends.

Co-signing all of this, Caracoa1. Maci is not bad at all when compared to the other Teen Moms, but I think her family wanted more for than to never finish an associates degree after several years of school, trap-babying a guy (and having to pull all out the stops with a second trap baby after Jayde failed to seal the deal), having several serious boyfriends she's pushed into Bentley's young life, running a "t-shirt company," getting fugly tattoos, and downing Bud Light like its water (even while pregnant). Heck, I - a stranger - expected more from Maci during her 16&P and early Teen Mom than what she's ended up doing with her life. 

Maci has been the biggest disappointment for me on this show because I thought she may actually accomplish her goals she talked about, unlike the others who I never really thought would/could. I'd imagine her parents are also pretty disappointed and perhaps kind of embarrassed (and are therefore not allowing themselves to be featured prominently on the show anymore).

Edited May 10, 2017 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[CofCinci]

42 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Oh, Ryan. This guy is as dumb as bricks. 

I wish the series would open up more about whatever the hell is going on with him.  TBI? Drugs? Both? Delayed mental retardation?

He refused to go to the hospital after his car accident.  I'm guessing to avoid finding drugs in his system --- but in missed out on much needed treatment.

[Caracoa1]

It's obvious that Jayde was a "trap baby".  I wonder if Maci was disappointed when Taylor didn't step up to marry her and in her mind it was because Jayde was a girl?  So in her "Bud Lite" addled mind she started on " trap baby " #2 and was so thankful that one was a boy!

[MissMel]

I honestly believe Rhine didn't make it back after that accident.  Drugs too, but mostly that wreck.  

[GreatKazu]

Maci tweeted Ryan was fine and to not believe the stories that were put out there about how bad he was injured. I don't know that she would downplay Ryan's health if in fact he did incur something more serious than a cut on his head. As much as I dislike her, I cannot see her behaving towards Ryan the way she is if she knew he was suffering from some mental issues due to the accident. If in fact he did incur something more than a cut on the head and he did suffer some kind of brain injury that he suffers from to this day, shame on all of them for not clearing that up, especially when he is appearing on camera as if he may have a drug issue. Shame on Maci for not taking his mental issue into consideration before she talks shit about him. 

[swishandflick]

Pure speculation, but I think he was seriously injured after the crash, but refused treatment. So by the time the doctors got to him, they gave him an MRI that said he may have had a concussion, but certainly something like whiplash and cleared him for pain medications and that's his actual problem. Could be a mix of both a brain injury and opiods. I'm surprised whoever was with him let him leave the accident scene without medical treatment. Even if he didn't want to pay for an ambulance, they should have taken him to the emergency room.

Edited May 11, 2017 by swishandflick

[MissMel]

My line of thinking is that she tweeted those things just after the wreck.  Meaning he's ok, no life-threatening injuries.  I imagine the brain injury, or long term injury, didn't show up immediately.  They all speak to and about him differently now.  

Not to mention, nobody disappears to the bank for three or four hours and comes home with coffee anymore these days.  Even my 70 year-ish old Dad knows how to check his balance and get some cash out of the ATM in just a few minutes.   

[GreatKazu]

According to this, Ryan denied an ambulance ride and instead was driven to the hospital by a friend:

http://www.inquisitr.com/1679578/maci-bookout-reacts-to-car-crash-involving-ex-ryan-edwards/

@MissMel yeah, the disappearing act to the bank was a big red flag. The mention that this has happened before leads me to believe Ryan is using drugs not that he has any sort of brain dysfunction due to the accident.  He may have received a prescription from the ER and his drug issue took off from there. I do think Ryan was fiddling around with some pillses (sorry, can't stop typing it that way due to Leah Messer) since he first appeared on 16 & Pregnant.. That makes it even more bothersome to me because it makes the Edwards enablers to a drug addict and may explain why they keep Bentley to themselves and interfere with Ryan's visitation. I don't know about Maci, though. She at least has to be questioning why Ryan takes off for hours at a time. Surely she knows something. I don't see her questioning his behavior on the show. I feel like all of them are covering up something or these people are majorly stupid. 

Edited May 11, 2017 by GreatKazu

[ghoulina]

IMO, Ryan has to be up to something, given how badly he fell out with Larry last season. I don't believe for a second the falling out was over a power tool, or whatever lame excuse Ryan gave. I could easily believe it's drugs and/or stealing from his parents. Larry was PISSED. Disgusted with his son. Ryan has never been a Mensa scholar, but he appears to be operating at the brain capacity of a toddler. Either the drugs addled his brain, or the accident did....and also led to a drug addiction. Or a combination, I don't know. But I tend to think if it was JUST the accident, people would be more forthcoming about why is so OBVIOUSLY "off" in the more recent years. A drug problem would be more likely to be kept under wraps. 

[GreatKazu]

Right. People are forthright about a car accident and injuries sustained in one including those that caused significant issues such as brain function. You would think by now someone, any one of them would have said by now, "Poor Ryan. He has not been the same since that accident." Usually when a family member has endured a traumatic event that has changed them, people would say it when referencing them in a situation that causes upheaval. Ryan has always been a disinterested father, boyfriend, person, all of the above. Lately, there is mention, and proof, of him wandering away for hours on end. In the early episodes Ryan spent time away from home to be away from Maci. He had a job at that time which would obviously explain why he would not be at home. Then, there were the scenes where Ryan came home late or stayed out all night. The reason being that he was cheating on Maci. We saw a scene of him at the club dancing with other girls. No one would think he was out doing drugs which he could have been doing as well. Now, Ryan is not working, he is not out partying, and he doesn't seem to have much going on except to take off for hours on end and explains it away by saying he went to the bank. Something is amiss when the people around him have not said one word about his behavior if in fact it is a medical problem. 

I had a sibling who suffered from MS. In the early stages he would fall down. Some thought he was a drinker.  I didn't want people to think that of him so I had to inform them what was really wrong with him. I think of Annette Funicello who also suffered from MS. For the longest time the tabloids ran with the gossip that she was an alcoholic. Why would Ryan's family not come out and mention Ryan has a medical issue if only to shut down speculation and rumors of him being a drug addict? I can't see how Maci would be ignorant of such a problem. She'd have to be totally clueless to not see his behavior and not question it. 

As for the power tool subject, I think Ryan mentioned the power tool only because Larry mentioned the power tool being the problem to Ryan. Sometimes people rant and rave about things without directly saying what is really bothering them. Larry probably was pissed off at Ryan for something else, but the power tool being lost, misplaced, or missing was the trigger. 

Edited May 12, 2017 by GreatKazu
One word makes a difference.

[DoctorWhovian]

Maci is above and beyond the best out of the OG group. However, she needs to get her act together and get a set schedule put into place. I think it's great that Jen and Larry are as involved as they are, Bentley is lucky to have them as grandparents. But they are his grandparents, not his parents. Instead of getting on Maci, they need to get on Ryan about setting these things down in a calendar. Christmas every other year with one parent, and Christmas Eve with the other. Whoever gets Christmas does not get Thanksgiving, or however they want to work it out. I get where it would be frustrating that during "Dad's weekend," Ryan isn't around and Bentley was just with his grandparents, but it seems to be improving and Maci needs to give a little more so Ryan can step up. If he keeps failing, then readjust. Also, she needs to have this as a conversation with Ryan directly. Her whole talk on the show about not wanting to have the conversation that we all got to see is just going to cause tension in that family. When the cameras are in your home, there is always the chance what you say will be aired! 

Cate and Tyler are what I imagine the average lottery winner to be like. All this money and no idea how to deal with it. Lipstick on a pig. And Tyler is just gross. He completely plays up his personality for the camera and it comes across as so annoying and immature.

Farrah is the upper middle class person pretending to be a 1 %er. She does a better faux-riche than Cate and Tyler, but in a much bitchier way. If she doesn't marry rich (it will never be Simon), we will be seeing her doing every possible thing she can to make money. She also needs to learn how to treat people and speak English.

Amber is somewhere in between Cate and Farrah. She has the Cate upbringing but is trying to live the Farrah lifestyle. I get wanting to see what the tree looks like from the outside, luckily they didn't put all the tacky tinsel shit on the back and only on the front, presumably for their own enjoyment. How nice of Matt to use Amber's money to buy a tacky car to go with their destroyed house with its who-decided-to-buy-a-white-couch (now covered in a tacky sheet, likely due to who knows what stained it the day after it arrived) and their tacky music-memorabilia-office-huh? room. And I hate using the same word over and over but damned if tacky isn't the best way to describe their life. Tacky nails, tacky hair, tacky faux-Anna Nicole look, tacky personalities. 

Maci gets props for at least somewhat living within her means. Their house is nice, but not omg amazing (and likely not that badly priced because of where they live), they go on vacation but not anymore than other similarly situated people with their income, their kids wear clothes (both pants and shirts!) on tv, they seem to actually have social lives and are involved in activities, I hate they way they curse so readily (and I have no issue with cursing, I do it, but not on camera or in front of young children) but at least they treat other people with some amount of decency. They have some other annoying shit (see!) about them but it's minimal and more normal for their age group, as negative as I, or we, may see it. 

[lexiexx]

On 5/10/2017 at 11:53 AM, JBC344 said:

That is just the point though, they feel they have a right to see Bentley on Thanksgiving.  They don't, they are the grandparents, not the parents.  Don't get me wrong I'm not saying they shouldn't see him on holidays but if Ryan has no formal schedule than these things need to be planned in advance. The assumption of having him needs to stop.

What was the point of switching it up for Christmas?  They weren't actually asking for more time they were just changing the days which didn't make any sense.  I mentioned this earlier but I don't think that grandparents have a "right" to a grandchild on Christmas morning.  I thought their arrangement was very fair.  Bentley gets to spend Christmas morning opening up his gifts with his siblings at his primary residence and then goes over Jen and Larry's for 90% of Christmas Day, most likely spending the night.

Maci's issue with Ryan "asking for more time", which by the way he actually didn't ask for Christmas.  When McKenzie asked him he had a blank look on his face and mumbled something about he "thinks" his mom has talked to Maci. That would be the exact definition of uninvolved.  Maci's issue is that Ryan asks for more time when it is "Holidays or trips" as opposed to asking for more time to actually parent or help raise him.

For example, does anyone here thinks Ryan contacts Maci on a regular basis to ask her if he can come over and help Bentley with his homework, or take him to the doctor, dentist, make sure he gets to his games on time?  Of course not.  Getting pissed when you don't get a "fair" holiday schedule is sort of disingenuous when you have no real interest in parenting.

Half of Ryan's scenes this episode included McKenzie trying to explain to him how to properly communicate with Maci, not waiting to the last minute, checking in with her, and trying to make a plan.  When Ryan's girlfriend is making an issue of it, that proves he isn't doing it in the first place.

I don't think that Maci takes advantage of Jen and Larry.  I think she feels that she is very accommodating when they see Bentley most of the time and there are some cases where she feels like they over step their place.  This doesn't mean that Maci hates them, wants them out of Bentley's life, wants to take Bentley from them.  Maci just doesn't agree with certain times that they want Bentley. 

In fairness to Maci complaining about them this episode, Jen and Larry spent the last episode complaining about her.  I use the word complain because I don't think either one of them "trash" each other.  Nor do I feel that there is any real bad blood.  They just fundamentally disagree on certain aspects of visitation.

Now on a more positive note, do I think that Ryan is trying to improve? Yes.  I also think that what he is missing is more of the "bigger picture" though.  Ryan making sure he sees Bentley on Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is really nice and arrangements should be made I think he misses the point that Bentley still needs to be "raised" and nurtured everyday of his life.  I think the examples I mentioned above are a good way to start.

It would be normal for one parent to have Christmas and one Thanksgiving.   Of course Ryan would see his parents on both of those days and therefore they would see Bentley too.   Maci is trying to shove Taylor into the daddy role, so instead Bentley travelled all the way to Texas to see people he is only related to through marriage and probably barely even knows.   I don't see how Jen and Larry would be overstepping Maci's lunatic boundaries in that scenario.  And I also think that most grandparents take it as a given that they will see their grandkids who live locally on holidays like Thanksgiving.  

I'm guessing they saw it as, Maci had him for all of Thanksgiving, maybe she would be wiling to let Ryan (who clearly understands that his parents love and enjoy seeing Bentley) and his parents see the excitement of Christmas morning instead.   Since Maci as usual got her way on Thanksgiving, it would have been a nice gesture. Of course Maci is a bitter bitch and not into that sort of thing.

Ryan knows that he can't communicate with Maci.   She's difficult.  Maybe Ryan feels that Jen can communicate with her better and it's less drama that way.  Who knows.   People have to do what is best for their own circumstances.   Maci just wants to punish Ryan and has bitched and tried to micromanage what goes on during his time for years now.   Just like when she used to complain that it was Jen who gave Bentley a bath when he was over there.   Or had a problem if he went out after Bentley was sleeping.   She thinks that whatever she says goes, even if it's none of her business and not on her time anyway.    Just because Ryan does not show interest in the ways that Maci thinks he should does not make him a disinterested parent.   It's like when she moved Bentley 3 hours away and shacked up with Kyle.   She gives no fucks about Ryan actually seeing Bentley as often as possible, it's all about power and blame with her.  She should quit bitching in general.  

For someone so obsessed with proving that Ryan is a disinterested parent, Maci should stop saying no to any time Ryan wants to see his kid.   It just makes her look like a bigger liar than she already does.  

[JBC344]

4 hours ago, lexiexx said:

It would be normal for one parent to have Christmas and one Thanksgiving.   Of course Ryan would see his parents on both of those days and therefore they would see Bentley too.   Maci is trying to shove Taylor into the daddy role, so instead Bentley travelled all the way to Texas to see people he is only related to through marriage and probably barely even knows.   I don't see how Jen and Larry would be overstepping Maci's lunatic boundaries in that scenario.  And I also think that most grandparents take it as a given that they will see their grandkids who live locally on holidays like Thanksgiving.  

I'm guessing they saw it as, Maci had him for all of Thanksgiving, maybe she would be wiling to let Ryan (who clearly understands that his parents love and enjoy seeing Bentley) and his parents see the excitement of Christmas morning instead.   Since Maci as usual got her way on Thanksgiving, it would have been a nice gesture. Of course Maci is a bitter bitch and not into that sort of thing.

Ryan knows that he can't communicate with Maci.   She's difficult.  Maybe Ryan feels that Jen can communicate with her better and it's less drama that way.  Who knows.   People have to do what is best for their own circumstances.   Maci just wants to punish Ryan and has bitched and tried to micromanage what goes on during his time for years now.   Just like when she used to complain that it was Jen who gave Bentley a bath when he was over there.   Or had a problem if he went out after Bentley was sleeping.   She thinks that whatever she says goes, even if it's none of her business and not on her time anyway.    Just because Ryan does not show interest in the ways that Maci thinks he should does not make him a disinterested parent.   It's like when she moved Bentley 3 hours away and shacked up with Kyle.   She gives no fucks about Ryan actually seeing Bentley as often as possible, it's all about power and blame with her.  She should quit bitching in general.  

For someone so obsessed with proving that Ryan is a disinterested parent, Maci should stop saying no to any time Ryan wants to see his kid.   It just makes her look like a bigger liar than she already does.  

I don't necessarily think it would be "normal" for one parent to get Thanksgiving and one Christmas just because there is a little imbalance in a good way in the sense that you can celebrate with one on the Eve and the other on Christmas day, which is what their arrangement was in the first place.  I also don't think that grandparents who have grandchildren who are in blended families should "take it as a given" that they will automatically see their grandkids.  Maybe Maci had plans to spend Thanksgiving at her parent's house for the day.  Or maybe travel to see her extended family.  Not that it makes a huge difference.

I don't believe Jen and Larry should get Christmas morning as an option because Bentley has a primary residence where he resides and he has siblings whom he is close too that he enjoys the ritual of getting up Christmas morning and opening presents.  In all fairness I don't think Maci's or Taylor's parents should get "Christmas morning" either.  Now I believe that if Ryan and McKenzie have children or if Ryan has more children than it will need to change but I don't believe that any grandparent should even ask for a Christmas morning visitation under those circumstances.

I grew up in a similar situation and as close as I was to my paternal grandparents whom I spent every weekend with they never once expected that I would be with them Christmas morning, they always naturally understood that I wake up Christmas morning at my primary residence with my many siblings and then come over their house later on that day or over Christmas vacation.  Now if it was important to Ryan to see Bentley open gifts Christmas morning than I think Maci should be open to Ryan coming over and sharing that experience, but I don't believe that Jen and Larry should expect that in the first place.

Outside of dredging up behavior from Maci and Ryan that happened 5 plus years ago, I think the reality of what they are dealing with now is Maci being frustrated that Ryan doesn't participate in the "parenting" of Bentley but then wants to come around and expect/demand/ask for equal time on the holidays.  Like I mentioned before I think Ryan is really trying but he just doesn't get the bigger picture.  McKenzie was really trying to get him to see it this episode.  She was constantly trying to get him to realize that he can't do everything last minute.  That if he really wants to make some headway he can't bring up an issue and then drop it/pass it off to his parents to handle.

[ginger90]

Someone said they have a visitation agreement in place. If they do, it sucks. Days of the week, times for picking up, bringing back, time off from school, and holidays would be spelled out.

Just google, present it, get it stamped and be on your way

http://family.findlaw.com/child-custody/form-to-establish-a-visitation-schedule.html

[lexiexx]

The point is that it's none of Maci's business, it's Ryan's.   Why you or Maci would be so stuck on why the grandparents shouldn't be allowed to participate or shouldn't just assume they will be seeing their grandkid is beyond me.   Who should be making that call, Maci?   I don't think so.   Grandparents being involved with the care of kids born to teen parents is understandable.  Ryan was not ready to be a father when Bentley was born, probably had no idea what to do with a baby.   Maci is the typical bitter babymomma who wanted to have the majority of the time with Bentley and then complains about how she has to do it all.  

Maci is the exact same person she was five years ago, she has been pulling this shit with the Edwards the whole time.   

[JBC344]

4 hours ago, lexiexx said:

The point is that it's none of Maci's business, it's Ryan's.   Why you or Maci would be so stuck on why the grandparents shouldn't be allowed to participate or shouldn't just assume they will be seeing their grandkid is beyond me.   Who should be making that call, Maci?   I don't think so.   Grandparents being involved with the care of kids born to teen parents is understandable.  Ryan was not ready to be a father when Bentley was born, probably had no idea what to do with a baby.   Maci is the typical bitter babymomma who wanted to have the majority of the time with Bentley and then complains about how she has to do it all.  

Maci is the exact same person she was five years ago, she has been pulling this shit with the Edwards the whole time.   

That is just my point at least, the grandparents do participate.  I happen to think Jen and Larry have a great relationship with Bentley just that there are times where their role could be "confusing".  Because of Ryan's inability to get his stuff together Jen and Larry have had to pick up the slack in regards to their son's parenting.  It is a very nice thing for them to do but that doesn't give them the same rights or expectations that Maci and Ryan should have as the parents.  IMO parents have an "expectation" to see their kids at certain times, grandparents shouldn't. 

Jen and Larry are not the only set of grandparents and now Bentley is involved in a blended family.  For example, can you imagine if during Ryan's weekend with Bentley she said Bentley can't go because her parents, Bentley's other grandparents wanted to see him or spend time? IMO that would be wrong. 

It becomes Maci's business because Jen and Larry have to be the ones to communicate and set up visitation with Bentley because if they left it up to Ryan to coordinate they would hardly ever see their grandson. 

Maci and Ryan are not teenagers anymore.  The grandparents helping out when the baby is first born and the first few years of their life is understandable in a situation like theirs.  Bentley is 8 years old now, and both Ryan and Maci are in much more stable places. Jen and Larry's role as "3rd parent" needs to be modified.

[eskimo]

So Maci's pissed that she's been dealing with Jen and not Ryan, so she handles it by dealing with Mack, and not Ryan.  Is it possible, Maci, that Jen bypasses dealing with Ryan for the same reasons YOU bypass dealing with Ryan?  Because he's not completely functional, for whatever reason.  Everyone must deal with her highness directly, yet she may send a messenger.  I'm sure the hypocrisy was completely lost on her.  She just needs something to complain about, and to feel more important than she actually is

.

[JBC344]

48 minutes ago, eskimo said:

So Maci's pissed that she's been dealing with Jen and not Ryan, so she handles it by dealing with Mack, and not Ryan.  Is it possible, Maci, that Jen bypasses dealing with Ryan for the same reasons YOU bypass dealing with Ryan?  Because he's not completely functional, for whatever reason.  Everyone must deal with her highness directly, yet she may send a messenger.  I'm sure the hypocrisy was completely lost on her.  She just needs something to complain about, and to feel more important than she actually is

.

In all fairness I would be more prone to believe that Maci is "so difficult" if we didn't have practically a whole episode of McKenzie trying to teach Ryan how to properly communicate as an adult parent.  Ryan's own fiancée is the one trying to get his to see what he is doing. That to me was the proof that Ryan still has a long way to go and doesn't understand the fundamentals of co-parenting.

I don't think it is an all or nothing.  I think that Maci, Mckenzie and Jen/Larry know that if you left things up to Ryan they would never get done so in essence they all have to pick up the slack otherwise Bentley wouldn't see them or get to spend time with them at all.  They all do it for the greater good of Bentley seeing everyone, that doesn't mean that they hate each other but I think it isn't a position that either side is willing to jump into and wish for.

[eskimo]

17 minutes ago, JBC344 said:

In all fairness I would be more prone to believe that Maci is "so difficult" if we didn't have practically a whole episode of McKenzie trying to teach Ryan how to properly communicate as an adult parent.  Ryan's own fiancée is the one trying to get his to see what he is doing. That to me was the proof that Ryan still has a long way to go and doesn't understand the fundamentals of co-parenting.

I don't think it is an all or nothing.  I think that Maci, Mckenzie and Jen/Larry know that if you left things up to Ryan they would never get done so in essence they all have to pick up the slack otherwise Bentley wouldn't see them or get to spend time with them at all.  They all do it for the greater good of Bentley seeing everyone, that doesn't mean that they hate each other but I think it isn't a position that either side is willing to jump into and wish for.

I completely agree with your point.  My issue here is that she complains that her and Ryan's issues should be dealt with between her and Ryan, while simultaneously taking her issue with Ryan to his fiance.  I understand why she did it though.  I just wish she could see that it's the same reason Jen goes to Maci rather than Ryan.  Exact same reason.  It's like she thinks Ryan's problems, whatever they are, only affect her and Bentley. 

As kids grow up, and have more friends and activities, it seems natural to me that visitation would have to be adjusted from time to time.  It sounds past time for that in this situation.  My children's father and I are still married and my father (the only grandparent they have) has seen less and less of them as they've grown older, as have we.  And he was a super involved grandparent, still never misses a game.  Bentley doesn't have all the free time he used to and both families are going to have to give up a little time so that he can pursue his interests and friends.  It's going to be more cheering him on from the bleachers than snuggley movie nights at grandmas.  He's not a toddler anymore whose whole world is his family.  I hope they can all come to an understanding about that.  I wonder if Ryan will ever realize that the time of his son wanting so much to spend time with him is pretty much over, and he missed it all.  It's going to be a gut-punch when he realizes that.

[JBC344]

53 minutes ago, eskimo said:

I completely agree with your point.  My issue here is that she complains that her and Ryan's issues should be dealt with between her and Ryan, while simultaneously taking her issue with Ryan to his fiance.  I understand why she did it though.  I just wish she could see that it's the same reason Jen goes to Maci rather than Ryan.  Exact same reason.  It's like she thinks Ryan's problems, whatever they are, only affect her and Bentley. 

As kids grow up, and have more friends and activities, it seems natural to me that visitation would have to be adjusted from time to time.  It sounds past time for that in this situation.  My children's father and I are still married and my father (the only grandparent they have) has seen less and less of them as they've grown older, as have we.  And he was a super involved grandparent, still never misses a game.  Bentley doesn't have all the free time he used to and both families are going to have to give up a little time so that he can pursue his interests and friends.  It's going to be more cheering him on from the bleachers than snuggley movie nights at grandmas.  He's not a toddler anymore whose whole world is his family.  I hope they can all come to an understanding about that.  I wonder if Ryan will ever realize that the time of his son wanting so much to spend time with him is pretty much over, and he missed it all.  It's going to be a gut-punch when he realizes that.

I so agree with you here.  Amidst all this disagreeing the real person who loses is Ryan in this situation.  Maci, Jen and Larry all have very secure functioning relationships with Bentley because they put in the time and effort to spend time with him.  Bentley isn't oblivious to that. 

What I find strange is that a lot of us on the previous board use to cut Ryan a lot of slack when Bentley was younger and say that he is the type of dad who really doesn't bond with a baby and that when Bentley gets older is when you could see Ryan really shine as a dad.  Well Bentley has been at that age for a little while now where he is heavily into sports and activities, a lot of the same ones Ryan is involved in and there still doesn't seem to be a connection there.  Really unfortunate.

[ghoulina]

17 hours ago, lexiexx said:

It would be normal for one parent to have Christmas and one Thanksgiving.   Of course Ryan would see his parents on both of those days and therefore they would see Bentley too.   Maci is trying to shove Taylor into the daddy role, so instead Bentley travelled all the way to Texas to see people he is only related to through marriage and probably barely even knows.   I don't see how Jen and Larry would be overstepping Maci's lunatic boundaries in that scenario.  And I also think that most grandparents take it as a given that they will see their grandkids who live locally on holidays like Thanksgiving.  

Maci isn't my favorite and she has done a lot of terrible shit, but I don't really see her SHOVING Taylor into the Daddy role. She tried to do it with Kyle, but with Taylor - I actually see him stepping up and filling it himself. He hasn't always seemed super enamored of Maci, but I have always thought he was great with Bentley. IMO, Ryan vacated the "daddy role" years ago. Hell, he never even filled it, really. He is generally absent, and not present even when he is present. Taylor lives in the house with the kid, has for years. He takes him places, coaches his sports teams, etc. Also, I don't think it's really fair to act like Taylor's family aren't important because they're not blood relatives. My step-mom's family was freaking amazing to me when I was growing up. They treated me just as they did their blood niece/grandchild/etc. They wanted me to come to every even my dad and step-mom went to. I really appreciated that. We've never met Taylor's family, but we have no way of knowing how close they may or may not be to Bentley. But I don't think there's anything wrong with him going to the holidays at their house. 

[GreatKazu]

Quote

  I wonder if Ryan will ever realize that the time of his son wanting so much to spend time with him is pretty much over, and he missed it all.  It's going to be a gut-punch when he realizes that.

If you can, watch Maci's 16 & Pregnant episode. It just aired the other day, actually. Larry says something so prophetic to Ryan about Bentley in the future. It may not be seen as prophetic since many people with any common sense would see what was happening and would have told Ryan the same thing. Larry sat there with Ryan and informed him that the days are going to pass and next thing he knows, Bentley will be grown. Larry told Ryan to not miss the things that will come around only one time like when Bentley walks the first time. Larry rattled off a few things that Ryan will miss if he doesn't become an involved father in his son's life. Hearing that, it almost made me shed a tear because that was said seven years ago and all that time has passed. Ryan has missed a big portion of his child's life and sadly, Bentley has it all on video to see. 

Taylor has stepped up to the father role in such a loving way. He truly cares and loves Bentley.  I just don't like Maci and her words which seem to imply Taylor is the dad now and Ryan can kick rocks. 

[DangerousMinds]

How can Ryan pay child support if he doesn't even work?

[CofCinci]

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

How can Ryan pay child support if he doesn't even work?

Sadly, he probably makes $100,000 each year from this series.

[Caracoa1]

19 minutes ago, CofCinci said:

Sadly, he probably makes $100,000 each year from this series.

And Maci is getting 17% of that!  Wow that girl is going to do whatever it takes to make sure this gravy train never ends!