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Heartaches, Bromances, True Love and Team Arrow: the Relationships Thread


quarks
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I didn't even think of that. You are right. In S1 and S2, Oliver was taking orders from Yao Fei, Slade, Shado and he even listened to Sara when she told him to do things. When did he get to be the guy that started making his own decisions? That's why I don't how I feel about making Oliver meet so many people in his years away. It doesn't fit with the lone wolf thing they portrayed him as in S1.

 

We are at year 4 already, that leaves him 1 year to become the man we saw after he was rescued.  

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He obviously made a promise to himself to never ever ever rely on anyone else and talk plans through with his team mates because...(fill in whatever happens to him with Poppy and the Bratva)

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I don't think all lies are equal and there is a difference between lying and betrayal.  And IMO lying is not always in and of itself a betrayal.

 

Everyone in Arrow lies. They lie about who they are, and they cover up their past, including Felicity. Felicity herself pointed that out to Oliver when Barry lied about why he was in Starling City.  So honestly the lying is never going to stop.  Felicity said it herself that at some point something will happen that requires Oliver to lie again.

 

I'm struggling with the inclusion of Oliver's time on the island as the basis for him never not lying again. It feels not unlike victim-blaming for his trauma. It's kitchen sinking the wrong thing in his history.

 

Oliver was a liar before he got to the island. He betrayed Laurel by fucking Sara and that was happening before he got on the Queen's Gambit. Robert cheated on Moira, Moira cheated on Robert. Robert had shady dealings with Malcolm. Moira lied about BM and paid off BM to leave town. Thea lied about using drugs. The entire Queen clan lies, obfuscates and deceives.

 

I would have been much more on board with Felicity using THAT as her basis for why she doesn't think Oliver can change.  She could have said, "Oh my gods. He's never going to change because look at his family tree. Moira was a liar because I'm the one that discovered missing money from Moira's account".

 

Or something like " Oliver, I think your default is to lie because that's what you did before the island and it's what your family did for years.  I guess I was hoping that trait in the Queen family wouldn't be true for you other than in our work. But now you've lied about a child. I don't care that you have a child.  But given your family's history and now this,  I'm not sure you'll ever change"   

 

The problem with tying it to his time on the island aside from it being out of his control and the trauma it cause, is that it did motivate him to be a better man than the douchebag that got on the boat. And HE has been a better man. 

 

It's his past history as a lying Queen  that seems a far more logical reason for Felicity to think he can't change, but still gives him a chance to prove he's not the same as his family tree.  

Edited by catrox14
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The writers used the Island because it's the metaphor. 

Yeah, and it's not a good metaphor in this case.  They are misusing the metaphor by combining it with the BM drama IMO and it's damaging Felicity's POV IMO

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Felicity throwing the faults of Oliver's deceased parents in his face would not sit well with people. At all.

 

And using the trauma of the island is better? 

 

Oliver was also that same as his parents before the island....so it's not JUST his parents. Oliver was a liar. 

It would be pretty hypocritical and dark for Felicity to believe that kids can't be different from their parents, considering her own father.

 

Okay but I also included OLIVER's lying. He was as much a liar as his parents before he got to the island. I guess that part got missed.

 

I'm saying that Oliver already was a better man AFTER all the trauma. It's his past choice when he WAS a liar that came back to haunt him. 

 

To me Felicity is basically saying he cannot be a better man who trusts her because of the trauma from his time on the island.  The trauma that he may never actually heal from is why she thinks he can't ever change. Yet we know he already did change for the better. He was a selfish, lying, dick before the island.  

 

To me, the island metaphor is not working here because Oliver has changed, IMO.  He has a ways to go but IMO using this trauma of the island just doesn't work either way. 

 

Just my humble opinion.

Edited by catrox14
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But the problem isn't the lies, it's his difficulty to fully trust people with his problems and his tendency to do everything alone. If he solves that then the lies have no reason to exist.

The Oliver before the island was a douche but when he was in trouble (got Samantha pregnant) he went to his mom so she could help him out, he relied on her. Oliver in S3 told Felicity that during his time away he could never really trust someone and that he saw people like threats or targets; that is the reason he has issues opening up.

Oliver is a good man who wants to do the right thing but to do that and to be the best version of himself he wants to be he has to work on his issues and if he doesn't acknowledge he has them he can't.

Like Felicity has to work on her abandonment issues that can be an obstacle in her relationships. It's not her fault if she was abandoned either but it's healthier IMO to recognize they exist and face them instead of pretending everything is fine because it is a difficult subject.

I feel bad for Oliver but I think it's better to hear some things instead of people avoiding the subject because they might hurt you. It's more beneficial in the end.

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But the problem isn't the lies, it's his difficulty to fully trust people with his problems and his tendency to do everything alone. If he solves that then the lies have no reason to exist.

 

 

But the show IS saying that it's the lies.  She said he defaults back to lying  because he was so damaged by the island.  She is saying that he can never trust again because of the island.

Edited by catrox14
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Okay but I also included OLIVER's lying. He was as much a liar as his parents before he got to the island. I guess that part got missed.

 

I guess if the show had been very careful in how they had Felicity reference his pre-island antics, it might have worked as one aspect of her concerns about him. But they have worked hard to show how Ollie was completely different from S1 Oliver, who is very different from S4 Oliver. So Felicity never knew Ollie. Ollie never hurt her, the way he hurt Laurel. So bringing that stuff up would most likely have felt like fighting dirty, especially if she'd thrown his parents in the mix. If at some point in Oliver's introspection, he brings that up--or even Thea--that would make sense.

 

But what Felicity brought up was the stuff that was relevant to her, to them. The damage Oliver incurred in those five years, and the survival tactics he adopted, have by his own admission made him closed off to other people. From my perspective, Oliver has overcome like 90% of those unhealthy habits, and Felicity is addressing that last 10%. When Oliver feels secure, he makes good choices, he reaches out to his loved ones, he doesn't try to railroad everyone anymore. But when he's very, very stressed in whatever way, he reverts to going it alone. That's the last big thing he has to work on re: his island damage, and the last big thing that impedes his relationship with Felicity, which is why she brought it up.

 

As someone who finds Felicity's handling of stress via lashing out very uncomfortable and unpleasant, I will say that I had basically none of those feelings for the last half of 416. If she had said the "island" bit in anger, I would maybe not have been comfortable with it, because it may have come across like a jab. Instead, it came across as a devastating realization, and one she'd clearly struggled with and was sad to have to admit.

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But the show IS saying that it's the lies. She said he defaults back to lying because he was so damaged by the island. Or have I totally lost my mind and she didn't actually say that?

It's Oliver who keeps saying he won't lie to her again (I think because he thought that was the problem), but she said "there's always gonna be a part of you that defaults to the man who was on the island, alone, who came back to save the city, alone and sooner that we both think you will be stuck in a situation where you have to make a decision that requires you to hide things from me again."

We have been going on about the lies but even in 15 she told him she couldn't be with him because he didn't include her in his decisions and here again.

Edited by Midnight Lullaby
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Yup. The main thing I got from that convo that mentioned the island in 416 is that Oliver thought the problem was the lying, when Felicity's problem is him shutting her out when he's emotionally compromised. In the case of the baby mama drama, he shut her out by lying. I think her fear is he can shut her out without even lying, just by deciding he needs to deal with the heavy stuff alone.

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Yeah the lying is a symptom of Oliver's big issue. He compartmentalizes everything and mostly keeps each section to himself though sometimes he has people in each section though nobody in everything (maybe Malcolm?). He also believes he can risk his life a lone by choice but makes that choice for others and makes other choices that affect other people-without their input or with very little input from them. So Oliver is a loner until he decides to make other peoples choices for them.. It all comes down to Oliver has poor self worth and doesn't want that for the other people in his life but it all comes out very very bad for everybody. 

Edited by tarotx
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Okay I had to really go back and think more on this.

 

 

Now I fully understand my RUHHRRR and SAY WHAT...to Felicity's reasoning. And why it's just totally failing for me.

 

Oliver's decision to not tell ANYONE including Felicity about William was not related to his time on the island.  It was all from his past PRE-island. 

 

He was a dumbass who was being emotionally blackmailed by BM to never tell anyone about William. His status as GA was also a factor in him thinking it was best to keep quiet about William. It's STUPID and non-sensical but that is the reason Oliver gave. His being stupid IMO was not sufficient evidence that he is defaulting back to island!Oliver who is an island unto himself and doesn't trust anyone.'  It seems to me he defaulted back to pre-island dumb!Oliver  vs post-island!damaged!Oliver.

 

That is the crux of the problem for me.

 

Oliver not telling anyone became a problem when Darkh kidnapped William which endangered others.  But Oliver's original decision to keep the secret because BM demanded it doesn't seem to be much of an indicator of Oliver defaulting back Forever!Alone!Oliver.

 

That's where my RUHRRR comes from

Edited by catrox14
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But Oliver's original decision to keep the secret because BM demanded it doesn't seem to be much of an indicator of Oliver defaulting back Forever!Alone!Oliver.

 

But for Felicity, once she knew about the kid, and Oliver still kept her completely out of the loop when he made the monumental decision of giving up being the kid's father, that was him defaulting back to #foreveralone Oliver.

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Pre island Oliver seemed to me someone who took advantage of people, not someone who was easily taken advantage of. He didn't even feel guilty about what he was doing with Sara but post island Oliver tortured himself over it so I think this particular brand of stupidity (letting BM emotionally blackmail him) is a post island thing as well.

I think the difference for me is that what he did was a choice. He chose to keep it for himself (if he told his team they would have kept his secret) and act like the kid didn't exist when he was in SC. It was like his life existed in two boxes: his kid in CC in one and everything else in another, so much that he didn't even think MM was a danger to his kid.

He shut everyone out when he could have asked for advice (breaking his promise to BM, yes) and that's island Oliver. That's what he did with his plan last year as well because he thought he knew better but the team wanted him to share his plan with them essentially because they are a team, he isn't alone and shouldn't act like it.

And after his secret came out he didn't go to Felicity for advice but shut her out, again.

I really think pre island Oliver if BM made such a demand would have sought someone's help to find a way out of this mess because as we saw in the FBs he used to go to his mom before. But post island Oliver isn't used to ask for anyone's help anymore, he is used to make the decision and he did. Because BM made the demand but he is the one who decided to agree without even asking "why" or trying to find a way out of it.

And Felicity told him he is going to find himself again in the situation to make a decision like that one and he will decide to hide things from her again instead of going to her and share because he learned to be alone on the island and that's still his first instinct. It makes sense to me.

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I think its easier for Felicity to attribute this problem of Loner Secret-Keeping Oliver to the island rather than pre-island Ollie who lied so he wouldn't get into trouble or have to accept any responsibility. If it's from the island, it's caused by circumstances over his control and there's something that might help the situation.  If it's pre-island, then that's his basic nature and there's no help for it.

Yeah, I don't really get why Felicity is wrong to think Oliver can't change in this respect when he has yet to provide evidence that suggests he can. From her point-of-view, he's 'learned' this lesson several times before, but always defaults to keeping secrets. Why would she believe he can change, at this point?

On the one hand, he's learned a number of things, such as that he can be happy again and find joy in simple things, or that Thea doesn't hate him when he's honest with her.

 

And then every sweeps period, he forgets all that and keeps sercrets so MG can have his drama.

 

Felicity wanting Oliver to change is the problem some are having with her so even if she had a pov a chunk of fans wouldn't be on her side. If she can't accept Oliver as he is, he's better off without her.  They think Oliver has became weak all in the name of love. Before Felicity became part of the team Oliver was a better fighter and a stronger person.

That's true in real life.  But this is fiction, a Hero's Journey and if he didn't need to change, what"s the point of the story?

 

Although it's true that he was a better fighter but that's the fault of the Rise of the Masks.

MG had mentioned: "People can and should debate whether the promise he made to Felicity to always be truthful trumps the promise he made to Samantha."

Sigh. Such a ridiculous set-up for an argument.

Edited by statsgirl
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Twitter is peppered with caps, gifs and video from 3x20 today. Now I wasn't around when the sizzle reel dropped last year, so I just found out there was footage in it that didn't make it into the episode. Quelle horreur! Case in point:

 

CfCDkaFWsAAm59P.jpg

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Oh yes the anniversary celebrations are hitting my twitter feed. I will admit when they dropped that preview last year, I changed a few plans that day. I mean nothing big... but laundry and menial chores definitely got rescheduled to bask in the glory of what was to come for Olicity. I just couldn't believe that it was going to happen.

 

Now if they could just get on board with the reality that more scenes like that will only make Arrow a better show. I could deal more with the Drama & the Angst if I had some routine love scenes or at least some passionate kisses to make up for dramatic walk outs and sad puppy eyes. The problem for me this season is they have been heavy on the drama/angst especially in the middle and short on the passion. Like always Arrow just needs to find a better balance.

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(edited)

I had taken that day off work to run errands, but I don't remember if I actually got anything done after the promo dropped and tumblr exploded. My expectations were so low at that point I couldn't believe Olicity sex was actually going to happen.

 

The fan creativity in the 3 weeks between the promo and when 3x20 aired was amazing. So much fic, art, gifs, metas/theories. All over a couple seconds in a 1 minute promo. Good times.

 

 

Gifs! (source)

 

seGovHR.gif

39VLrJB.gif

Edited by lemotomato
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(edited)

I love that part where he takes off her glasses. And her top. And the bit where he stares up at her like he can't believe it's happening. I mean, I love it all really. Not that I've watched it over and over or anything. Not me. No Sir!

Edited by Guest
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(edited)

To paraphrase Ice Cube..

"It was a good day"

I love that SA ad libbed taking off Felicity"s glasses.

Sidebar : as a bespectacled person, I would have been.."but, Oliver I can't see you now"

Edited by catrox14
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I love that SA ad libbed taking off Felicity"s glasses.

 

Shortly after 3x20, my husband removed my glasses before kissing me rather passionately. He had never done that before and is absolutely not the type of guy who would emulate something from pop culture--he doesn't even watch Arrow with me.

 

The funny part is that I got all swoony from thinking about Oliver's removal of Felicity's glasses and being giddy about the same thing happening to me that I didn't appropriately focus on how damn sexy it was when it happened to me! (this probably qualifies for "you're watching too much Arrow. . . ")

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I think the difference for me is that what he did was a choice. He chose to keep it for himself (if he told his team they would have kept his secret) and act like the kid didn't exist when he was in SC. It was like his life existed in two boxes: his kid in CC in one and everything else in another, so much that he didn't even think MM was a danger to his kid.

He shut everyone out when he could have asked for advice (breaking his promise to BM, yes) and that's island Oliver. That's what he did with his plan last year as well because he thought he knew better but the team wanted him to share his plan with them essentially because they are a team, he isn't alone and shouldn't act like it.

And after his secret came out he didn't go to Felicity for advice but shut her out, again.

I really think pre island Oliver if BM made such a demand would have sought someone's help to find a way out of this mess because as we saw in the FBs he used to go to his mom before. But post island Oliver isn't used to ask for anyone's help anymore, he is used to make the decision and he did. Because BM made the demand but he is the one who decided to agree without even asking "why" or trying to find a way out of it.

And Felicity told him he is going to find himself again in the situation to make a decision like that one and he will decide to hide things from her again instead of going to her and share because he learned to be alone on the island and that's still his first instinct. It makes sense to me.

I think Laurel's death is the strange solution to the show's dilemma of Oliver reverting to Island Oliver (aka refuses to rely on anyone in times of stress)

 

I probably will have to go and rewatch 11:59 to get the exact quotes but there were several times during the episode that I got the impression they were saying that Laurel had found a way to embrace her past, acknowledge it had changed her forever and let go of the pain that led her to her worst behavior.   

 

And I think that is what they are going to do with Oliver, inspired by Laurel's example and magnified by her death, he will somehow find a way to let go of his past pain and guilt and thus the self destructive behavior and show he has changed.   

Edited by BkWurm1
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So Laurel's death will also be the death of Ollie's bad ways and past? OQ will accept his past inspired by LL's ability to accept herself, he will finally bury it and move fwd. So LL & "Ollie" will get buried together. I guess its starting to make sense FS's comments about island Ollie being a reason for their break-up, LL insisting on her soulmates confession. LL & Ollie were soulmates and will share a grave... with Oliver rising from the ashes (and most likely a new BC down the road). Maybe the gravestone should be revealed to say "Ollie".

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In the flashforwards, Oliver decided that he was going to kill DD when he was at the gravesite and then goes back to the limo and Felicity says that he has to kill DD.  Even though they came to the same conclusion separately, it doesn't sound like they talked about it together until then.  Would you consider this as another big decision that Oliver has made without including Felicity (like he hasn't learned his lesson)? or do you think this is one of those things he shouldn't be expected to talk to her about? 

 

I was just thinking about what Felicity said about inclusion and wondering when is it reasonable to expect Oliver to include her or not, given their current situation.  I am just waiting impatiently for the time that they will work their way back to each other...so I didn't know what the normal expectations would be in this case.   

Edited by ComicFan777
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I think there are things a person decides without anyone's input but that doesn't mean that if they were a couple that he should just not talk about it.  Even if the decision was already made, he should if they were in a relationship explain why he made the decision and give her a chance to offer her thoughts.  It was never about him not being allowed to decide for himself about anything, just that she be included. 

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In all seriousness I am genuinely curious to see how Oliver and Felicity will be kept apart next season. I don't particularly care for them together, but I feel like the writers are actively looking for reasons to keep them apart and it's just not fun to watch for me.

I think it'll be a shift of instead of plotty things happening that threaten their relationship, Oliver and Felicity will be romantically together, but constantly put into jeopardy situations that separate them physically and/or emotionally. Kidnappings, amnesia, some drug that makes one or the other evil, one or the other going undercover, etc.

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I think it'll be a shift of instead of plotty things happening that threaten their relationship, Oliver and Felicity will be romantically together, but constantly put into jeopardy situations that separate them physically and/or emotionally. Kidnappings, amnesia, some drug that makes one or the other evil, one or the other going undercover, etc.

 

This could work for me as long as the writers don't lay on the angst too thick. I'd love to see a little mini-arc of Felicity going undercover because of random computer stuff that can only be done on site because reasons. Oliver and team would be super anxious and there could be a nice little cliff-hanger with Felicity in danger.

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If I were to bet, I'd say their relationship will be mostly in the background from 501 to 507. Then O/F gets married in 508 for triple! crossover! shenanigans!, and then one of them gets kidnapped and/or turned evil in 509 dun dun dun Winter hiatus.

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I don't think the planning went "ooh, since we're gonna kill Laurel in 418, let's break up O/F in 415 and then 'ship bait the fuck outta Laurel/Oliver for two and a half episodes for lulz".

 

HOWEVER. After O/F broke up, there was a visible amp up of L/O scenes added to the episodes in between that and Laurel's death. And they went out of their way to stamp NOTP on these scenes, since almost all of them were about Felicity and O/F [and that right there was the clear sign that L/O wasn't gonna go romantic]. Because this is how Guggenheim likes to plot these things. Laurel gets more stuff to do, Laurel gets to interact with Oliver about 5x more than she did in the last 50 episodes... Laurel dies. Because this is MG's idea of how twisty writing goes.

 

But if one saw those scenes as L/O getting back together... I don't wanna accuse people of watching TV wrong, but. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the mere act of giving Oliver and Laurel more screen time together was enough to make some viewers think the show was going to put Oliver and Laurel together.  A number of reviewers sure seemed to think it.  I don't think it took any more than that.  And I think the showrunners probably knew that, but I'm not sure if that counts as baiting since the actual interactions were not shippy.  (Even if I thought the hand to cheek touch was crossing boundaries)  Looking back with Laurel's "love of my life" confession, it does look like she was putting that vibe out there, but it was all one sided.  They did not write any moments coming from Oliver's side.  Not so much as a "you've been a real good friend through out all this."

Edited by BkWurm1
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I can handle O/F being put through situations out of their control if/when they get back together. That's fine. I expect that because this show doesn't seem to want to write O/F happy all the time (even though they clearly can...they were pretty great from 401-409) and we have to expect some ups and downs. It's TV and they think that happy couples = boring. I disagree but whatever. 

 

But I really don't want another crisis of trust in their relationship and I can't handle them breaking up again for dumb reasons like Oliver lying yet again. We've done this. That's when they'll probably start to drive actual Olicity fans away and I will likely be one of them. There's only so much I can put up with tbh.

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I think the mere act of giving Oliver and Laurel more screen time together was enough to make some viewers think the show was going to put Oliver and Laurel together.  A number of reviewers sure seemed to think it.  I don't think it took any more than that.  And I think the showrunners probably knew that, but I'm not sure if that counts as baiting since the actual interactions were not shippy.  (Even if I thought the hand to cheek touch was crossing boundaries)  Looking back with Laurel's "love of my life" confession, it does look like she was putting that vibe out there, but it was all one sided.  They did not write any moments coming from Oliver's side.  Not so much as a "you've been a real good friend through out all this."

 

Hmmm. I do think this can be considered baiting the audience into thinking Laurel was finally getting the A-plot, like a false sense of security that she was headed to a great storyline that was starting with the DD trial, except oops, she's in the grave. PSYCH!

 

And then I wonder if people just assumes A-plot = romance with Oliver, because that's what happened with Felicity. And granted, any couple that spends screentime together tends to indicate romance in most shows, but all Laurel and Oliver talked about was Felicity and O/F, so it was doing it wrong? I just found it all hilarious and embarrassing. [Also: I watched these episodes knowing Laurel was gonna die, so I cop to that influencing my view.]

 

I think any kind of real 'SHIP baiting needed to come from Oliver. KC has always played Laurel 0.3 seconds away from jumping Oliver if she saw a chance anyway. And now I'm wondering if there WAS something in script that 'ship baited via Oliver, and Steve noped it hard.

Edited by dtissagirl
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I remember posting comments on 401 way back in October about how Laurel was so insistent on going to IvyTown to get Oliver's help.  Now we know the real reason why. She missed him.

Edited by tv echo
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I think any kind of real 'SHIP baiting needed to come from Oliver. KC has always played Laurel 0.3 seconds away from jumping Oliver if she saw a chance anyway. And now I'm wondering if there WAS something in script that 'ship baited via Oliver, and Steve noped it hard.

I totally agree with you here. We've seen that SA is perfectly capable of exuding warmth when he thinks the scene calls for it-- old!Oliver saying goodbye to Sara in LoT, Oliver welcoming back Roy in 412, heck, even when Oliver and Laurel officially buried the hatchet in 405. Which makes me think that whatever the scripts intended in the L/O scenes after the Olicity breakup, Oliver's detached response was the way SA wanted to play it because he felt that any implication of Oliver reciprocating Laurel's feelings would undermine the eventual Olicity reunion.

 

The writers can't control how the audience reacts, but c'mon-- Oliver just told Felicity that she was his always. They just spent all of 416 emphasizing how he's totally still in love with Felicity and that she dumped him. Intentional 'ship baiting at this point doesn't make a whole lot of sense, even if Laurel didn't get killed off. 

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I think the primary reason they broke up Felicity and Oliver is so their big couple can have an obstacle before they are brought back together with big declarations of love and a wedding in the crossover event.  I also think they made the decision at the beginning at the season (and I do believe they went into the season knowing who was going to die) with a plan to time it so the two wouldn't be together during Laurel's death.  This was not to shipbait the L/O shippers, but so that Oliver could reconnect with Laurel AS FRIENDS and so that he could grieve Laurel alone.   As much as they are calling this ship-baiting--and Katie might have played it as a rekindling romance, but Amell didn't and it wasn't in the script until her last speech--I really do think they were trying to avoid Oliver saying a tearful goodbye to Laurel and then going home to make out with his girlfriend, not that there is nearly enough making out in this show.

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I'm really confused when people say Cisco would be heartbroken over learning LL/BC died. I mean I know he'll be sad... But heartbroken? They barely interacted. I wouldn't even say he'd be too heartbroken over Felicity/Diggle (who he's interacted more with)... 

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Cisco would be upset if anyone on the Flarrowverse team died. I think people think Cisco and Laurel are great friends because Cisco modified Sara's Canary bombs (to be weaker) and the fact that he fanboyed over her. When he fanboys over any woman, even ones with guns to his head. 

Edited by Sakura12
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