S01.E05: Wine, Whining, and Wieners

[OnceSane]

Quote

When the roommates go to a winery, there is more whining than wine; someone may be evicted as the drama between Lindsay and Cristina reaches a breaking point; while Carl cools off on Lauren, he warms up to Jaclyn at a beach bonfire.

[JenE4]

I am probably the only person on this planet of this opinion, but I'm officially a fan of this show. The more ridiculously petty these fights, the more brilliant this show becomes to me. I'm dying over Kyle's "When guys fight, we just splash each other and get over it!" and Stephen's "I'm just trying to enjoy my thinly shaved meats and cheeses!"

A poignant moment between Stephen and Carl. Aw.

Oh, snap! The interns are coming! Oooh! Oh, no she di'nt! Breaking news: Pizza Beach has a frozen cocktail machine!! Haha! No wonder why Lindsey needs four interns to cover unfurling story. We're not just talking Margaritas. They have Miami Vices! And I fall further in love with this show.

Mama Wirkus came to meet the boy--but the boy has moved on to another roommate. Ooh! I sense a splash fight a brewin'!

[jaybird2]

jene4!  i wish i could give you 10 hearts!!!  i love, love, love kyle and stephen.

[RedDelicious]

The effects of all that booze are starting to show in the girls waistlines.. 

I felt bad for Lauren this week. It's been subtle but Carl totally played her. I don't blame her for being all wtf. Nap in your own damn bed Carl. Lauren put your bosoms away.

Team Cristina. Again, Lindsey was a drunk asshole, and the renters meeting made her a super asshole. I want to give her a massive romper wedgie. 

[RedDelicious]

p.s. why do they keep saying Carl is so good looking. he's totally average and has no personality. Bleah.

[rho]

Somehow after avoiding it for five years, I got sucked into VPR and that inevitable led down the rabbit hole to becoming addicted to these idiots too. Honestly, after how much I loathed Kyle in the first episode, I'm shocked that he might actually be the least offensive out of the entire cast. I love Stephen! I think he brings balance to this show and his antics are what bring me back every week. The water aerobics bit last week was gold!

I'm enthralled by this intern situation. How legitimate is an internship for a company that makes no money and was basically established a week ago? The whole bit with the girls showing up all at once was totally staged so I'm side eyeing the drama. But here's a thought, how about instead of fighting over a lumpy old couch, one of these girls spends a week working from the $2M dollar house they're renting in Montauk? Does Christina really need to race back to the city? I can't imagine she's getting invitations to cover events on a Monday morning. Same goes for Lindsay, unless she's meeting with a client, she can work from anywhere and it's not like she'd send the interns in her place. I don't see why she doesn't take her gaggle of interns to the empty house in Montauk for the week.

[yourmomiseasy]

The ridiculous petty fighting might be drawing me in.  I mean I'm not setting a season pass, but when it comes on it's starting to get to where I can't look away.

Plunging V blonde and her raging asshole boyfriend deserve each other. Aside from them, the flirty look at me I'm a cool girl try hard fit model is probably my least favorite.  

[ghoulina]

I'm enjoying this as well. It's not the top of my list, but it's good, stupid fun. 

I think both Lauren AND Carl are stupid. Carl should know better - you hook up with a chick in the house and it's going to make things awkward as hell. Especially when you try to switch to another girl a few weeks later. But Lauren also should know better. Carl is majorly "just not that into her", and she's acting like she has some claim on him. 

It's about to go down! 

Linsdsey is a stupid bitch. Christina never changed her mind about the interns, yet here they all are. And then she has the nerve to get mad when Christina comments on what they're talking about? Oh, so you can invade my living space and be all loud, but I'm supposed to just sit here and pretend to ignore you. Okay, no. 

I continue to love Stephen. He's the best. 

[bichonblitz]

11 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Stephen's "I'm just trying to enjoy my thinly shaved meats and cheeses!"

Best line of the night!

One glaring difference between these guys and the VPR guys is that these guys don't want any part of the bitching and fighting between the girls and the VPR guys get all up in it.  Except Everett, of course. He must defend his woman.  

Can't wait till next week. Previews show Lindsey crying because Everett doesn't come home. Serves ya right, bitch!

[biakbiak]

I can't believe a mother encouraged her hugh school daughters to flash people.

This is why you shouldnt hookup with people in the house! It's just messy. 

Everett and Lindsey are horrible peple and if it is truly for one day there was absolutely no reason that they couldn't have worked from home a cafe and communicate via email, Skype Google hangout, etc. I love that wasted Kyle even realized that Everett and lindsey are douches. I liked how everyone smacked Lindsey down about trying to disinvite Cristina, particularly if it is purely the lease issue because obviously there are more than 5 regulars.

[yourmomiseasy]

Right?  She was so sure the others would back her in the petty kicking out and they were just like "already too involved in your bullshit, so no thanks."

[sasha206]

Mama Wirkus looked as ridiculous as her daughters with that hair.

Something tells me that because these girls are twins and love to play up the salacious at times (the disucssion of being in the shower together which served no other purpose but to titilate), they've managed to go up on the "hot" scale much higher than they would if they were just singletons.  Neither one of them is even remotely attractive.  

[Juneaucat]

Really liking this show and I was liking Carl. But he majorly turned me off last night with his whole wanting a girl who isn't driven and smart. That that type of girl is too much for him. A secure man can handle an intelligent woman. I get that he can be into whoever he wants, but his reasoning just really ruined my impression of him.

[ghoulina]

3 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Something tells me that because these girls are twins and love to play up the salacious at times (the disucssion of being in the shower together which served no other purpose but to titilate), they've managed to go up on the "hot" scale much higher than they would if they were just singletons.  Neither one of them is even remotely attractive.  

I completely agree. I think they're both kind of scary looking, especially Lauren. She looks plastic. 

Jacyln kissing Carl's foot almost made me barf. 

[hilaryvm]

I feel like the twins would be great if we just saw them in talking heads together.  They're kind of charming and funny there, but when you see them on the show, they're not as engaging or interesting, somehow.

It's weird to me that so many girls are into Carl.  He's fine, but nothing special.  Also, his whole "I don't like smart girls" was a really bad look.  It's strange because it's almost like Lauren is over the Carl thing, but then she says something or runs into his room topless...it's strange.

I'm still Team Cristina.  I know that they can't talk about the fact that they're on a tv show, which makes all of this a little more strange, because I wanted Cristina to say "you said on a television show that I got fired!" but apparently she can't do that.

[Adultosaurus]

Did I hear Lindsay right in that she couldn't stay in business "with her ex" any longer?  That may have been the biggest reason she had to "go open a bank account!!!" and start her business.

Carl sleeping through the Wirkus tits was hilarious.  Amanda makes me sad.  Stephen is obviously a plant (he said tonight that he had known Lauren for 5 weeks) which makes me sad.  And Lindsay is wannabe Stassi in all of the wrong ways.

[biakbiak]

10 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

Did I hear Lindsay right in that she couldn't stay in business "with her ex" any longer?  That may have been the biggest reason she had to "go open a bank account!!!" and start her business.

Carl sleeping through the Wirkus tits was hilarious.  Amanda makes me sad.  Stephen is obviously a plant (he said tonight that he had known Lauren for 5 weeks) which makes me sad.  And Lindsay is wannabe Stassi in all of the wrong ways.

It appears that Carl and Stephen are both new to the group which also explains their bond, so I imagine they were cast by producers. Stephen referenced it in the convo with Lauren and Everett mentioned it when he was sort of apologizing to Cristina at the winery.

[RedDelicious]

13 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

And Lindsay is wannabe Stassi in all of the wrong ways.

Yes!! With a side of angry Tequila Katie!!

[Adultosaurus]

Bitchy judgey post to follow - in a very anti-VR move, I guess Bravo didn't have any $ left in the extensions fund for the SH cast.  Lindsay's hair is just the worst.  Only made more obvious when they throw in the rando roommate with luxurious hair (what IS her name?)

[yourmomiseasy]

10 hours ago, hilaryvm said:

It's weird to me that so many girls are into Carl.  He's fine, but nothing special.  Also, his whole "I don't like smart girls" was a really bad look.  It's strange because it's almost like Lauren is over the Carl thing, but then she says something or runs into his room topless...it's strange.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse, but I'm pretty sure that was her room.  He said she had the most comfortable of the beds so he wanted to sleep in it.

[Guest]

I'll probably get tons of complaints for this comment, but here goes.  Women need to quit being sex toys for random men.  Who on this show gets treated well by the men?  Answer: the women who are not sleeping with them. 

[RedDelicious]

I actually thought the Wirkuses possesed a bit of class because the people on this show were presented like they had/have high profile careers (eh they really don't), etc. But the whole we flashed our G cup breasts at stop lights with our equally blonde and too tan mother anecdote really made my stomach turn. That is such a trashy and inappropriate thing to do. It's not funny however many years later. I'm not sorry, I don't do latter-day hippie parenting. Ugh. 

ETA: if they are 28-30 and this was 10-12ish years ago, were their toddler age siblings in the car at the time in a baby seat?? Gosh!! Just no.

Edited February 8, 2017 by RedDelicious

[Adultosaurus]

6 hours ago, Swim mom said:

I'll probably get tons of complaints for this comment, but here goes.  Women need to quit being sex toys for random men.  Who on this show gets treated well by the men?  Answer: the women who are not sleeping with them. 

If they would ever once show a woman enjoying her sexuality instead of using it as an emotional tool, that would be progress.

[sasha206]

On 2/8/2017 at 1:42 PM, Adultosaurus said:

If they would ever once show a woman enjoying her sexuality instead of using it as an emotional tool, that would be progress.

Agreed.

It seems like most of the time, the women on these shows like to pretend that they are totally fine with just a sexual relationship.  Then they have one and it's strictly sex for the guy and the woman wants to turn it into a relationship.  

Edited February 12, 2017 by sasha206

[FozzyBear]

Carl and Jacqueline, well he did say he doesn't like smart girls so....

Also, Carl is a shit. A huge shit. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to like about him or why Twin 1, Not Rocky from Below Deck, and Stephen are ALL so into him.

Edited February 16, 2017 by FozzyBear

[biakbiak]

Until Jacquline makes an oyster with grenadine or crumbles up oreoes on a salad calling her Rocky is blashomey!

[OnceSane]

Or prophecy.

[Maharincess]

I can't help it, I like Kyle. I thought he would be the one I hated the most but he ended up being the one I hate the least.  He's the only one who hasn't annoyed the hell out of me. So far. 

Everett and his fake intensity are ridiculous. Even when he's just sitting there he has this intense look on his face that cracks me up. I bet he practices that look in the mirror. 

Best part of this episode for me was no Stephen!  He seems like a nice guy but his voice drives me crazy. Every time he opens his mouth I hit the mute button.  Between his awful voice and the twins who talk so damn fast I can't understand a word they say, I hit the mute button quite often during this show. 

[fliptopbox]

On 2/20/2017 at 8:00 PM, Maharincess said:

I can't help it, I like Kyle. I thought he would be the one I hated the most but he ended up being the one I hate the least.  He's the only one who hasn't annoyed the hell out of me. So far. 

Everett and his fake intensity are ridiculous. Even when he's just sitting there he has this intense look on his face that cracks me up. I bet he practices that look in the mirror.

I like Kyle too, which was surprising to me cos I thought he'd be the more douchey player type, but we're getting that from Carl...who I have started to intensely dislike because of his shit attitude towards Lauren. He'salways trying to make it out like she's the crazy one when he's giving all the mixed signals. He even charmed her family, yet only wants her when no one else is available.

I am sure Everett practices that look in the mirror, and his "deliberate splash fight" was absolutely the bet thing on Bravo I've seen in a long time. Even better than the VPR chucklefucks.

It's so terrible I can't help but love it.