S02.E07: Who's the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?

[Snarklepuss]

Yeah I'm not going to say that Paula needs to make it known to Scott that she doesn't have time to do laundry.  Scott should be able to draw that conclusion himself, not need to be told by his "mommy" to "clean his own room".  Scott should see that something needs to be done and think to himself, "Well, Paula's really busy these days so I'll just do it myself".  Not doing it and then wearing something ridiculous is just a total passive aggressive move if you ask me.  Now, every partner has his or her quirks and things they just can't handle doing.  His quirk might be laundry.  That's not clear yet.  But even so, he should be able to get over that knowing how overextended his wife is these days.  You can forgive someone genuinely not realizing, but it's not like he didn't have a warning.  He should have known what he was getting into when he acted so supportive of his wife's ambitions.  Not thinking it through and realizing he'd have to fend for himself with a lot of stuff is no excuse.  He's an adult, he should be able to connect those dots by himself without needing his "mommy" to remind him.

I broke my arm a few months ago - needed surgery.  It was BAD.  I couldn't even take a shower without major assistance from Mr. Snarkle.  Fortunately I didn't have to tell him he needed to take over a lot of the things I normally did around the house.  He's an adult, he figured that out for himself.

Edited December 15, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[kieyra]

7 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

They did.  They showed him doing it badly but when Paula wasn't sure if she could fit law school in with everything else, he was shown trying to cook as a way to demonstrate that he could help out more. What he made was raw. Or burnt it was made explicit this is something he thought he could do. 

How they got from there to the laundry in this episode was never fully explained.   Maybe Scott said he was willing but never followed through.  Maybe he tried and because he was bad at it, Paula shut him down.  Maybe they divided household duties and laudnry was one of hers. 

This show is so deliberate so hopefully we'll find out but until then, we don't know if any of the theories is right or if they're all wrong.

Sorry, if you re-read my original post, I was referring to Scott taking care of OTHER things (lawn maintenance etc), meaning the idea that the household labor is divided equably, we just don't see the other half.

(Although I'd argue that mowing the lawn once a week and making sure the cars have oil changes doesn't match the day in/day out drudgery of cooking/cleaning/laundry.)

[dubbel zout]

Paula said she'd be there for Scott's performance and didn't show up. Regardless of the other issues in their marriage (and there are plenty), that's the bottom line for me. 

[stillshimpy]

Quote

In addition, most families have separation of duties. Scott might be responsible for the lawn, or home repair, or whatever. I don't think he's being jerky for not doing more laundry to compensate for Paula's decision to go back to very expensive school and dedicate all of her waking hours to something that is fundamentally only going to benefit her self esteem. He's doing what he can to be as supportive as he can be.

 

She works for a law firm already, so the whole "zomg!! No jobs!!" would seem to be taken care of, at least.  Sure, anything can happen, but she won't be like  a new law school grad, even if Darryl doesn't hire her.  She'll be a new law school grad with more than a decade's worth of experience working in a law office.  She'll be fine.  Seriously, she's not comparable to fresh law school grads just on that basis alone.  Anything can happen, so a job with Darryl isn't guaranteed, it's just very likely.  

Also, a fully grown person is fully capable of taking care of their own underwear needs or should be, no matter the chore list division.  If a person's solution to, "Good gawd, my underwear drawer is completely empty" isn't, "I should at least wash a load of my very own clothes, for my very own personal use" then they've got work to do in being a team member far beyond "how do we handle you going to law school".   Weirdly, my husband and I have had to be in different states, for six months at a time, twice in the past four years.  His joke always has been, "my magic sock drawer doesn't work in ________" because I do the laundry normally.  When I'm not around, or am unable to, as a grown man he figures it out.  If we've got a lot going on and I'm right here, dude pitches in because that's part of being married.  Kind of like when I was out on a riding mower, mowing an acre lot, despite not normally being the person in charge of lawn maintenance in most situations (and for this the grass is grateful). 

Paula makes a living too, it's hardly down to Scott to magnanimously write off the cost of her going to law school. 

The series took the time to structure the story fairly well though.  Last week we had Heather directly explaining, "Women are indirect communicators" which tends to be true (not for me, and my husband swears he's grateful for that because it means he's never left guessing) , Scott's walking around Mount Laundry instead of grabbing a Sherpa and trying to summit that bad boy is pretty ridiculous and clearly meant to be so.   Hence the multiple mentions.  

The whole situation was structured in a way where neither of them was completely in the right (because again, grown man, take responsibility for your own underwear at the very least) and Paula needs to learn to communicate what she needs and also, meet the commitments she has made.  

Scott's clearly a good guy, who actually loves his wife and family but he was ignoring things he shouldn't have, and Paula, for all that I've defended her time crunch left and right, did actually fuck up hugely.   You can honestly tell someone you love, "I really just can't.  I love you, but I can't do that particular thing at that particular time....and here's where I present a hopefully mutually agreeable compromise in the manner of marital partners, trying to meet in the middle when necessary...."   or you can think, "fuck, can't really do that, but he wants me to so....." and say, "Yes".   

But then, you have to follow through on that.  It was important to Scott.  Do I get it? No, I do not.  I was a theatre major many moons ago, maybe that is why I really don't get needing a specific person there to see a performance.  However, leaving me aside entirely, it was important to Scott and Paula did say that she would be there, knowing it was important to him.  Failing to do that was.....youch.  That was a significant screwup and it was born of Paula not knowing how to say no (which is actually another problem a lot of women face, again, not me, as I practically sing it when the need arises). 

But that also existed, in terms of story structure, because she really has just done what she was so angry at Rebecca for doing:  Let someone she loves down on an important issue.  

Paula said she'd be there for Scott's performance and didn't show up.

She showed up, it's just she showed up too late for it to actually matter, which is again, what Rebecca did to Paula. 

Edited December 15, 2016 by stillshimpy

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Always Got By On Her Own

She never really cared until she met you. But now Josh's cool new girlfriend chills her to the bone!

[possibilities]

Scott making a raw or burnt or otherwise inedible dinner is one of those tropes that makes no sense to me. Recipes are easy to find, and easy to follow. And if you can't do that, you can order a pizza or heat up a can of something or make a sandwich. It's not rocket science.

I'm not saying sophisticated cooking is a negligible skill-- it isn't-- but if you can't cook a simple recipe so it's not either raw or burnt (and that includes chicken, which is what I think they said he was trying to serve), you aren't trying very hard. You can even ask at the store, if you don't have a cookbook on hand and you don't trust the internet. There are lots of ways to get around this "no experience with cooking" problem. You can make spaghetti or mac and cheese from a freaking package where the how-to is on the box, or serve hamburgers, or any number of other very easy things, buy canned soup, reason out a salad by looking at one and reverse engineering it if you have even rudimentary logic skills... there's a learning curve in all things, but trying once, failing in absurd ways, and then giving up, is not an adult effort.

[theatremouse]

I don't remember the dialogue enough any more to be sure, and I'm not letting Scott of the hook for the laundry thing because, dude, do your own. But I didn't get the impression from that conversation he was implying it was Paula's to have done. I thought the point was more that they were having a rough time adjusting to their new schedules with both of them working and her in school, and he acknowledged that he didn't know how to use the machine. That's dumb, put in detergent and turn it on, or youtube it, but still it didn't play to me like he meant "gee m'lady ought to be takin' care of me, how dare she not" but rather just that the whole family was failing to keep up with everything. It wasn't blamey. More flummoxed.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

@possibilities, I totally agree. I don't expect Scott to become a gourmet chef overnight but there are heat and serve meals at Trader Joe's, Cost Co, etc. that even a ten year old are capable of making where you put the package in the oven/microwave or a dump the contents in a pot/skillet. Like laundry, it's not rocket science. If kids can do it, a grown man who knows how to drive a car should be able to do it too. I don't think that's asking too much, especially if you are the one who wants food or clean underwear!

[stillshimpy]

Seriously, buy a freaking cooked chicken at the grocery store.  They are as cheap as the raw ones.  

[Irlandesa]

Why would he do any of that if his intent was to cook dinner and thought he could? He bit off more than he could chew with that dinner but he went all out in the menu (bacon-wrapped chicken, vegetables, something else in a big pot) and in the attempt.  I could see a novice thinking all you need is a recipe and finding out it's harder than that.   Gosh, I don't consider myself a total newbie and I hate to cook meat in a frying pan because the outside is always burnt while the inside is still raw and I end up overcooking to make sure it gets done.

[rho]

1 hour ago, Irlandesa said:

Why would he do any of that if his intent was to cook dinner and thought he could? He bit off more than he could chew with that dinner but he went all out in the menu (bacon-wrapped chicken, vegetables, something else in a big pot) and in the attempt.  I could see a novice thinking all you need is a recipe and finding out it's harder than that.   Gosh, I don't consider myself a total newbie and I hate to cook meat in a frying pan because the outside is always burnt while the inside is still raw and I end up overcooking to make sure it gets done.

Agreed! There are a whole lot of quick fixes. I'm sure he fed himself during his single years but he wanted to cook something just like Paula and that's when he realized he was in way over his head. I can't even remember a time before I knew how to cook, or was at least helping with dinner. But I have come across plenty of adults, not just men, who are absolutely useless in the kitchen. I've seen boxed cake mix and even easy mac ruined. It's not unheard of.

[Bruinsfan]

On 12/10/2016 at 0:13 PM, AnnaRose said:

Anna annoyed me went she went on about finding out who caused the injury to her cat and tracking them down and making them pay.  Look in the mirror dumb-ass.  You're the one who let the cat out into the street.  How was a driver supposed to see it underneath the car?  I hate when people pass the blame like that and want to punish someone else for what was clearly an unintentional accident that wasn't really their fault.

Between that and ragging extensively on Josh's exes to a couple of presumed strangers, Anna's revealing herself to be not such a perfect goddess after all. I have a feeling we're going to see much, much worse from her.

 

On 12/15/2016 at 9:41 AM, stillshimpy said:

She showed up, it's just she showed up too late for it to actually matter, which is again, what Rebecca did to Paula. 

Here's the thing, Paula showing up is a clear demonstration that she tried, and wanted to be supportive of Scott. We know it happened because she got caught up in obsessing over her rift with Rebecca, but what if she'd actually been late because of more-involved-than-expected legal studies? Or bad traffic? Scott being disappointed she missed his performance I can understand, but hurt feelings and anger should have been salved the moment he saw her pushing her way through the crowd and making the attempt to be supportive. Adults understand that sometimes things go wrong, and people make mistakes without intending them to be slights.

Self-diapering Man-Baby needs to grow the fuck up. Doing some damn laundry while he goes off to sulk in solitude would be a good place to start.

Edited December 17, 2016 by Bruinsfan

[femmefan1946]

The power ballad "You Go First" reminded me of this

 

A bit late to the party, but thought we all might enjoy it. Not only hair bands sing power ballads.

[paramitch]

@stillshimpy, I was also frustrated with the Paula and Scott situation for similar reasons.

While I've appreciated seeing Scott be supportive of Paula's choices recently (in every sense), I haven't liked the way he's also been consistently portrayed as being one of those hapless, inept man-children you see in commercials who are utterly at sea when the wife is sick and they can't even manage a meal for their kids, etc. Scott has been shown to be unable to even make a simple meal for the family (which I found pretty hard to buy after a marriage of decades), so the revelation this episode that he's actually allowed the laundry to pile up to the ceiling because he's too much of a child to do it was incredibly frustrating and disappointing.

However... I did understand Scott wanting Paula present at his performance, and I thought he was clear about why he wanted her to be there -- that he was seriously nervous and insecure about it (and about performing in front of his co-workers) so it meant a lot to him for her to be there. I also thought it was a scenario in which he was reasonable to ask her to show up -- not just for personal support, but since it was a relatively important work event. 

Also, I've been an occasional singer and musician for a few decades, and I always, always have horrible awful stage fright for the first song or so, so I do get why Scott might have wanted real emotional support there. I also very much liked Scott's moment at the end with Paula, when he simply needed time to feel whatever he felt. (Too often I do think "I'm sorry" is supposed to be a shorthand for "You're over it now, right?")

However... (again)... I thought Paula showing up (even if late) did count for a lot, as did her obvious remorse. But this wasn't a shining hour for her either -- her total lack of willingless to listen to or sympathize with Sunil was pretty cringeworthy (and very Rebecca-like). 

The 80's power ballad was a lot of fun (as were Paula and Rebecca's complementary 80's rocker mullets). For me, the dancing girl reminded me of the old Cars video "Drive," right down to the outfit -- but I'm sure there are dozens and dozens of examples of similar.

I wasn't a fan of the "running over the cat" gag either, @AnnaRose -- it's tired , and I also agree that Anna's rage was over the top as well (considering that she was the one who let the cat out).

Meanwhile, the thing I thought the episode was clearly going for with Anna and Josh was that Josh is, bless his heart, not the brightest bulb on the tree. The relationship is clearly doomed -- Josh is laying it all on way too thick with Anna (his declaration to her in the end was painful to watch) -- Anna seems on her way out, and she doesn't have the affection for Josh's other attributes that Rebecca does. (Josh's inability to understand the Frida Kahlo reference at the cafe was, again, painful to watch.)

[paramitch]

PS, I also forgot to add -- the actor who plays White Josh, David Hull, is criminally underused.

His reactions are always worth catching, and here, when Josh was plotzing over Anna's cute-kitty texts, his eyerolls and horrified expressions were absolutely fabulous. I wish he was given more to do -- I find him so much more interesting than Josh 1.0, both as an actor and as a character.

[possibilities]

I love White Josh, but I do notice that he's becoming a little one note, and the actor is capable of more. It's one of those situations where he's so delightful that you don't really want to mess with success, but on the other hand, it becomes a little obvious that more is possible-- so does the show have the guts to give us something more, or do we want it to stick with one of its few islands of uncomplicated non-crazy and just bask in the one note?

[Bruinsfan]

It's so refreshing to have a Filipino-American male lead who sings and dances and has romantic relationship storylines that present him as a catch, I'm reluctant to wish for more focus on the traditionally handsome white supporting actor regardless of how charming I find White Josh.

[possibilities]

Hmmn.. that's a good point. It's more subversive to put the white guy in the background....

[Eeksquire]

I love WhiteJoshFeather (especially as the 'healthy relationship' counterpoint to... well, everyone else on the entire show), but I suspect that if we spent more time with them, they would lose their charm.  As it is, I am thrilled every time I see them come onscreen and I'd like to keep it that way.

[Irlandesa]

I think White Josh is the healthiest character on the show.  He has his insecurities.  He has his things that may raise eybrows (like dating much older men) but he seems to have a good sense of self and is comfortable in his own skin. I don't find him one note or boring, though  Sane characters on a show full of crazy charactrs are much tougher to write and make interesting, to be sure, but I think this show does a good job.

[Trini]

I'd have to review season 1 to figure out when they made the change, but White Josh was kinda shown to be a 'dumb jock' stereotype in his first appearance (even dumber than Josh, IMO), then later they actually rounded him out; and now Josh pretty much the dumb one of the group.

[Bruinsfan]

I just watched "All Signs Point to Josh... Or Is It Josh's Friend?" and White Josh was presented like that not too long ago. Greg's goodbye involved saying he hopes he turns out to be half the man WhiJo is, prompting a response about protein supplements and bulking up.

[Irlandesa]

I think Josh and White Josh are opposite sides of the same coin when it comes to ditziness.  With Josh, he's mostly ditzy with moments of intelligence/great introspection.  With WhiJo, he's mostly aware and present but has his duh moments like the moment at the airport.