Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[peach]

Thanks!  Merry Christmas, everyone!  Sorry I'm so far behind but it's a busy time of year! 

[MollyB]

 

Sorry I'm so far behind

Don't you worry your pretty little head about that.  I don't even watch the show because, well, I fall asleep.  Your insights and wit are much so fine that not only do I stay awake during the day and almost understand the plots, I also laugh my ass off.  May your days be  Merry and Bright!

Edited December 24, 2014 by MollyB

[movinon]

 

“Do you think you know me??”  He’s posing hard in his skin tight Aquaman shirt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that at all - and I thought nobody could replace MM.  This guy is growing on me by the day, and I love that he is using some of Adam's mannerisms to make the transition easier.  The story still makes no sense to me, but I can enjoy the scenery.  Can't believe you are still doing these, Peach, when things have to be so hectic at this time of year, but thanks.  I will probably check back in late Christmas night, but for now - stuff!!!  Merry Christmas to all you crazy people!

[peach]

Fri, Dec 19    The Mustache’s Fingerprints

 

“You’re Adam?  Adam who?” asks Jack, taking off his coat. “Adam Newman.  Your friend, your worst enemy’s son.  I’m Adam Newman.”  Jack says Adam Newman is DEAD.  He died in a horrible accident and was identified by dental records!  “That’s what everyone thinks, Jack.”  Jack KNOWS.  He was at the memorial service!  Yeah, well, Adam wasn’t.  Jack doesn’t know what kind of sick joke he’s playing here, but he’s done!  Time for him to leave!  “Jack, don’t call the police!  It’s me!  I can prove it.”  Jack squints.

 

Sage thought she’d up the plan-wrecking ante by going to Delia’s snowy shrine that's adorned with fresh flowers that magically stay alive in snow.  She calls “Gabe” and leaves him a message.  Where is he?  She’s been looking everywhere!!  Like Delia’s roadside shrine in the middle of nowhere.  A car pulls up, so Sage hides behind a zoo rock.  It’s Billy and Chelsea.  He wants Delia to know about her sister.

 

Paul is dressed as Santa Claus for the Police Association’s children’s Christmas party at Crimson Lights.  Christine is delighted.  This will really help preserve the neighborhood because evil new buildings never have Santa Claus or Christmas parties.  This year Santa’s a little weak in the planning department, and has no volunteers helping him with the 200 kids that are showing up today.  OMG, Chris is going to get him some help!!!  Nick brings Faith by to see Santa.  He tells Paul he’s going to need a Christmas miracle.  Poor Nick.  Maybe Santa’s magic can help destroy Sharon.

 

Kevin and Mariah are decorating the little tree.  “So, this Chloe chick must be a real weirdo,” says Mariah.  I think she prefers wackadoodle.  Kevin’s like way to embrace the spirit of Christmas.  Well, eggnog and mistletoe aren’t really her thing.  Kevin thinks it’s because she’s never shared either with the right person, hmm, hmm?  She asks if he’s read Plato Sphere this week?  Why does she listen to that guy and not Kevin?  “Because he’s smart, and you’re you.”  He asks about Plato’s latest words of wisdom.  “There is no right person, only right choices,” she recites.  So, she chooses to be a Scrooge?  Well, she could pretend magical Christmas dust changed her.  “Or, you could just choose to change for real,” he suggests.

 

See, that’s why she likes Plato Sphere, HE’S a realist.  “How’s this for reality?” asks Kevin, holding mistletoe over their heads, “What are ya gonna do about it?”  Not what you’re hoping, says Mariah.  “Why?” challenges Kevin playfully.  “Are you afraid to kiss me?”  No, she twinkles, she’s just not easily manipulated into a kiss by a glorified piece of parsley overhead.  Kevin tosses the parsley.  They move in toward each other..closer, closer…their noses are touching, and OOPS!  Sharon bursts in the door.  They fly apart and Sharon smiles at them hilariously from the open doorway.

 

Michael and Lauren get home to find Fen.  Why the hell is he still here?  Because Summer’s loser husband is a felon who can’t go skiing in Canada with the shiny people.  Lauren’s sure she can get Fen on a later flight, because these people change plane reservations at Christmas like they’re changing socks.  Fen’s like wth, why are you so anxious to get me out of here?

 

Nick whines to Santa/Paul because Faith is taking her anger out on him.  He feels really bad for himself.  So, maybe Paul can find out what special gift he can buy her off with this Christmas.  Faith sits on Santa’s lap.  He asks if she’s been good this year.  Faith says she’s been way nicer than a lot of grownups, so she’s hoping for something big this year.  She only wants one thing:  for Mom and Dad to be married.  Nick sighs.

 

Sharon walks in with a knowing, little smile and says she didn’t mean to interrupt.  Mariah’s falling all over herself insisting she didn’t interrupt anything!  She asks Sharon how it went with Nick at The Underground.  Kevin doesn’t want to stick around for that crap, so he’s going to go help Paul.  So, Merry Christmas.  “You, too, Kris Kringle.”  They smile mischievously at each other, while Sharon has a little “loving it” smile in the background. 

 

Kevin leaves, and Sharon’s just bursting to find out WHAT is going on between them!  Mariah says NOTHING, of course, and Kevin was just putting the star on top of the tree.  “And because Kevin is so TALL, you asked him to help you out with that,” says Sharon gleefully. lol  Oh, and is this mistletoe on the floor??  Sharon says it’s OKAY to admit she has feelings for Kevin.  Mariah doesn’t do feelings and share time is over!  Sharon’s like, Mariaaah, everyone’s cut her out of their lives, please throw her a bone and share stuff.  “Please don’t hug me,” Mariah fake protests.  Sharon wants her to tell her something she doesn’t already know about her.

 

Michael tells Fen it’s his Uncle Kevin.  “Kevin?” says Fen.  “Kevin??” says Lauren.  Yeaaaah, Michael’s just very concerned the holidays will be tough for him with Delia and Chloe gone.  So, obviously Fen needs to go skiing in Canada to make him feel better.  Makes sense.  He already booked a later reservation anyway, because it also makes sense that springing a trip on Summer would have meant leaving earlier.  Lauren’s glad he’s going to have fun.  Fen leaves.  Lauren hates lying to her son!  “He deserves to have a happy Christmas!” barks Michael.  And they’re going to get a second opinion today, and maybe it will be totally different!  Lauren says he has to talk about treatment options sooner or later!

 

“You can PROVE you’re Adam Newman?  A dead man?” asks Jack.  “I’m not dead,” says Adam.  Jack says he’s sick and he’s twisted, but he’s not Adam.  Then how would he know about the diary they faked to frame Victor for murder?  Or that hedge fund that he and Skye set up?  So Jack and Victor teamed up to crush him, and Jack slept with Skye behind his back.  Jack says he could have read that on any gossip site. 

 

“It wasn’t online that when Victor tried to frame me for Skye’s murder, you had second thoughts about siding with him.  So what did you do?  You went to Hawaii to prove she wasn’t dead.”  Jack says somebody TOLD him that.  “But you and I are the only ones that know what happened in this very room on New Year’s Eve.”  He called Adam to help him with his dead hooker problem, and Adam came and took care of everything!  He took care of the body, covered for him with the police.  “Now who in the hell else would know that?”  Jack stares in shock.

 

Sharon serves peppermint tea.  Mariah says she and Kevin are just friends.  He gets her and doesn’t judge her.  Sharon says that could be the basis for something more.  Mariah’s going with something less.  So, she’s playing it safe?  “So, what, is that not what Cassie would have done?”  Sharon never had the chance to help Cassie navigate matters of the heart, but she can give Mariah advice!  If you close yourself off to love, you won’t be hurt.  But you also won’t be loved.  Mariah’s not sure she even knows what love is. 

 

Paul is sorry, Faith, but Santa can’t grant weddings.  Because, um, the elves can’t make that in the workshop.  He tries to explain that it’s up to adults who love each other.  “But Mommy and Daddy do love each other.”  Nick looks sick.  Santa basically has to tell her tough luck, but is there anything else he can give her?  Toys from Frozen?  No, she says in a small voice.  Nick is frustrated.  How’s he supposed to buy her love now?  This is so unfair!

 

Billy and Chelsea go on for a while about Delia’s perfection.  But the only thing he couldn’t give her was a little sister.  Well, her wish came true.  Katherine Rose finally came.  He puts her photo next to Delia’s indestructible photo.  He promises through tears that Katie will know all about her.  Sage inexplicably decides to take THAT moment to theatrically tiptoe away from the zoo rocks, and Billy and Chelsea SEE HER!  GASP! 

 

Jack doesn’t know who Adam is, but he sure as hell knows who sent him!  “This has the Mustache’s fingerprints all over it,” he sneers.  Adam shakes his head.  No, no, Jack.  Mustaches don’t have fingerprints.  “Victor Newman!  Who else would know about Stephanie Wheeler?  He’s the one who set me up with her!”  Jack can’t believe he’s trying to put this over on him, it’s the same stunt he pulled with Sharon!!  Adam missed out on that insanity so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  “You go back and you tell your boss, IT’S NOT GONNA WORK THIS TIME!  I’M NOT GONNA GO CRAZY! I’M NOT GONNA TELL HIM ABOUT JABOT’S SECRET PROJECT!”  Adam’s like, I dunno, you sound a little crazy.  He should have seen him trying to buy a Christmas tree.

 

Adam is not there to spy for his father!  He knows things Victor couldn’t possibly know!  He points to where the body was.  “A redhead in a black dress was RIGHT HERE, face down!”  Jack’s like, holy shit.  “You were scared when you called me, Jack.  Just like I was scared the last time I saw you.  Do you remember what I said to you?”  Jack starts backing away.  “I told you that you were the father to me that Victor never was.  I meant that.”  He trusted him with everything, with his son.  This is not a sick joke, this is the truth.  “I’m Adam Newman.” 

 

Jack stares.  “I believe you,” he whispers.  Then, KAPOW!  He socks Adam in the jaw!  Adam falls down and gingerly feels his mouth.  Yo, take it easy on the new face, Jack.  He just got it!  “You still got that great right cross, huh?  And here I thought I’d get the kindest, warmest reception.”  Jack says this IS being kind and warm.  Anyone else in this town would be a lot harsher, and he would deserve it.  Adam has to agree.

 

Jack asks how this happened??  The car blew up!  He was the only one in the car with Billy, right?  Yep.  During the accident he got knocked unconscious and when he woke up Billy was gone because of course.  After that it was kind of a blur.  There was an explosion, then he was in a freezing river, he thought he was dead.  Somehow, some way, someone pulled him out of the water.  He woke up in a hospital bed, only he wasn’t in a hospital.  He was in a room in a house, bandaged and weak.  There was a woman there. 

 

Adam flashes back to Sage tucking blankets around him.  “Gabriel?  Omg, you’re awake!  Don’t talk.  You’re going to be okay.  Rest, Gabriel.”  Adam mumbles, “I’m not Gabriel.”  Sage says, “I know.”  Like a crazy person.  “So WHO is Gabriel?” asks Jack.  Gabriel Bingham, some rich guy from a castle who saved his life but died instead somehow.  Adam was wrapped in his coat and burned beyond recognition, so everyone thought he was Gabriel.  So..., he went with it. That’s the whole story.  Jack’s like, uh, no, it’s not. Where the hell as he been all this time?  How did he get this face?  “I had help.”

 

Since Adam isn’t doing enough damage spilling all the details to Jack, Sage tells Chelsea and Billy a ridiculous story about getting a flat tire down the road and looking for a market up the road.  By way of some zoo rocks.  Billy says it’s like right there…pretty much where it was when he left his kid to buy ice cream.  Gosh, thanks.  And gosh, no, she doesn’t need to use a cell phone or get a ride from them!  She’ll just tramp around in the snow by herself.  Have a nice day.

 

Michael and Lauren are back from seeing the top oncologist in the state.  He wants a third opinion.  Lauren tries not to slap him and asks if they can at least agree on a plan of attack.  “Why prepare for something that may not even happen?” he asks.  Lauren can’t even.

 

Kevin's helping out Paul at the party, which is kind of odd, and has a Christmas wish of his own.  Sorry, Santa doesn’t do pay raises!  Kevin laughs and says he was hoping Santa could get Crimson Lights a reprieve from the corporate raiders.  That’s why he’s there!  He’s trying to build community support for the warehouse district.  How could this fail, seriously.    Kevin asks for a raise anyway, but Paul, who might be drunk, laughs hysterically about his reindeer working for peanuts. 

 

Fen stops by to talk to Kevin.  He wanted to check in and see how he’s doing.  Kevin’s like why didn’t you just text?  Oh…well, he spoke to Mom and Dad earlier, and Dad finally came clean.  Kevin’s glad he knows!  Michael’s going to need a ton of love and support if he’s going to beat this cancer.  “Cancer?” says Fen.  Kevin’s like, omg, Michael’s an idiot.

 

Mariah asks if you can’t see it and you can’t feel it, how do you know it’s real?  Sharon says it’s how YOU feel.  Like, all tingly or something?  Sharon describes something that sounds kind of like the flu.  And it’s like the whole world doesn’t exist without him in it.  Mariah doesn’t need to guess who SHE is talking about.  Sharon says despite everything, like the wedding being canceled and Nick trying to TAKE HER CHILD, she still loves him.  Mariah says it doesn’t seem worth it.  Falling in love…with Nick, at least. Sharon says one day she’ll fall in love and then she’ll see it’s worth the risk.  Mariah really hopes that day never comes. 

 

Sharon sits with her and gazes in her eyes.  “You’ve been told your whole life that you’re not lovable, but that’s not true.  I love you,” she says tenderly.  Awww.  Then she ruins it by adding, “And one day, you will find the kind of love that Nick and I shared.”  Mariah’s like…ugh.  Sharon hugs her.  “Faith is lucky to have had you her whole life,” she says.  And she KNEW a hug was coming.  Sharon smiles and says she’s so happy to have BOTH of them.  “I just hope we don’t lose Faith.”  Mariah says, “Nick may think he can take you on, but he doesn’t stand a chance against the two of us.”  I haz feelz!

 

Nick brings Faith home and tries to act all cheery while she slumps on the couch.  He sits next to her and says he heard what she asked Santa.  He knows how upset she is that Santa can’t give it to her.  “You could.  If you just TALKED to Mommy!”  Nick says that’s not going to fix anything.  But HE PROMISED.  He knows he did, and he meant it when he said it, but not really.  Now it’s just not possible. Faith says it’s not fair!  Nick says she can be sad and angry, and she doesn’t have to hide her feelings, except hide them because you’re bumming him out and you just have to accept it.  Then Nick lies and says he and her mom are going to do everything they can to make this a happy Christmas for her, like filing an injunction so you can’t see her.  Then he plays the Two Christmases card.  Faith isn’t too excited about going back and forth.  Nick promises it’s going to be okay, you guys.  I mean, he promised.

 

Michael’s excited he got an appointment for that third opinion!  Lauren’s like, do you really think it’s going to be different?  Blah cancer blah.  Fen suddenly comes flying through the door and launches himself into Michael’s arms.  Michael glares at Kevin like he’s going to flay him alive.  Kevin looks away.

 

Billy talks to Delia some more.  It’s not easy for him, but he has Chelsea to help him out.  She’s her mom’s best friend and an amazing woman.  Forever in our hearts, etc.

 

Jack asks why would a stranger help Adam hide from the police?  Sage had her reasons, Jack, and they’re kind of nonsensical and boring.  What did this Sage woman do to help him? She arranged for the plastic surgery, and for him to take over Gabriel’s old life.  And she bribed the coroner to identify the body as Adam’s.  Jack’s pissed.  “All this time we thought you were dead…and you were alive.  You fooled us all.”  He was desperate, Jack!  “Desperate to get away with killing Delia!” says Jack.

 

Some Old Navy child models get candy canes from Paul, who’s still giggling away from too much eggnog, and in walks Christine.  Since she’s such a youthful, fertile, young bride, she’s dressed as an elf.

 

Michael and Lauren try to comfort Fen.  Why didn’t they tell him instead of sending him on vacation?  They thought it was best to wait til after Christmas to tell him.  “Obviously your uncle felt differently,” whines Michael.  Fen says don’t be mad at Kevin, he thought Fen already knew.  “How was I supposed to know the ‘truth’ you told him was the exact opposite of that?” says Kevin.  Fen says they shouldn’t have lied to him, he’s not a kid anymore.  Michael grudgingly agrees even though he still blames Kevin.  Fen says he still has to tell Grandma.  But Michael just wants to know what he’s facing first, and he just needs time to consult 47 more doctors.  Lauren’s upset.

 

Adam tells Jack he never meant to hide what he did to Delia that night.  He’s sorry he hurt so many people.  “You’re sorry?” says Jack.  That ain’t gonna cut it.  Adam says there is NOTHING he can say to make up for it.  Jack says he was devastated by Delia’s death, but Chloe and Billy?  Omg.  Billy’s life will never be the same! Adam insists it was an ACCIDENT!  Then why didn’t he come forward??  “Because I’m me, Jack.  Because I’m GC’s resident villain.  No one’s going to believe that I didn’t see her!  And that I didn’t run and hide like the despicable coward that everyone thinks I am. Would YOU have believed me?” 

 

Jack says he didn’t give him a chance!!  “I did!  I came to you and asked you, do you remember?”  Jack says Adam kept asking him if he believed in redemption.  Adam says he finally convinced him he did.  And he was ready to go forward…and then Billy and Chloe came forward and said…they would donate Delia’s corneas to Connor.  “It felt like if they found out what happened, they would take it back, and he’s my son, Jack!  And I couldn’t risk that.”  Jack sadly seems to get that.  But what about after the operation?  Oh, well after, he finally had the life he always wanted.  A family.  “And you weren’t about to give that up,” sneers Jack.  He was going to!  He recorded a confession for Chelsea.  Billy knows about it! 

 

“I was on my way to turn myself into the police when Billy showed up, and that’s when the accident happened.”  Wait…you mean that’s when Billy kidnapped you at gunpoint, shot you, and crashed you into a ravine, leaving you for dead?  That’s when THAT accident happened.  Are they really going to skip all that?  Jack says, “So you confessed to his horrible crime and you still came BACK here?” IKR, that makes zero sense.  Adam says he lost a year with his son.  He can’t afford to lose any more time, Jack has to understand that.  “I understand that your son is alive.  Billy’s child is gone forever.”

 

Nick comes downstairs with more ornaments, but Faith isn’t around. FAITH!  WHERE ARE YOU?

 

Christine the sexy, young Christmas elf sends the last people on their way.  There is ANOTHER Santa’s Land sign that has substandard lettering on it.  Santa’s worn out.  He’s thinking about sad, little Faith.  Let Chris guess, she wants her parents back together for Christmas.  “The one thing that all the Newman money can’t buy,” says Paul.  Their money can sure ruin Christmas, though.  It breaks Paul’s heart to see kids hurt by their parents’ mistakes.  Well, thankfully, that is one thing Chris says their kid will never have to worry about.  They will be perfect parents.  She really says that. 

 

Fen’s like, um, you have cancer.  That’s what you’re facing.  That’s what the doctors said.  Michael gets agitated because this is supposed to be the happiest time of the year, goddammit!  He doesn’t want people worrying about him!  “One way or another, I’m gonna beat this thing.”  Fen’s like, what do you mean, one way or another?  He means denial, Fen.  He’s beating cancer with denial.  Michael sternly orders everyone to celebrate Christmas!!  He rushes off to find some champagne while everyone else stares sadly at each other.

 

Sharon stares at a family photo with Nick.  Blah.  He shows up at the door.  Is Faith there?  Um, nooo, she’s supposed to be with him.  Nick doesn’t know where she is!  “How could you not know?!” Because he’s STUPID.  “I think she ran away!”  Oh noes!

 

Billy and Chelsea drink wine at the club.  To Delia.  Forever in our hearts.  If you had told Billy a year ago, that he’d ever be this happy again!  Wow!  Chelsea and Katie will never fill the Delia hole in his heart, but they do.  He’s looking forward to a new year, with Chelsea.  Cheers to that!

 

Sage is in the lobby of the club trying to call Adam again.  They need to talk immediately!  “I hope you’re not doing anything stupid!”

 

They’re both stupid, and now Adam tells Jack that nobody feels worse about what happened to Delia than he does.  Jack thinks Billy feels a lot worse.  Okay, okay, but what good is turning himself in going to do?  It’s not going to lessen anyone’s pain or bring Delia back from the dead.  It’s going to hurt CONNOR.  His son deserves a father, Jack.  “Well, Delia deserves JUSTICE,” says Jack.  And Billy can be his father.  Yeah, but poor Adam has to wake up every day and feel guilty.  Isn’t that justice enough??  Hmmm…NO? 

 

Why the hell did he come back?!  More to the point, why did you spend a year forging a new identity, and then come back and sing like a damn canary the first chance you got?  Adam TOLD you, Jack, he’s there for his family.  If that’s the case, then he’ll understand why Jack's doing what he has to do.  He pulls out his phone.  Adam says don’t call the police!  He’s not.  He’s calling BILLY.  See, Adam, this is the difference between someone being “like” a father, and being one.  Blood is thicker than water.

[kia112]

I loved it when Sharon made it very clear that she was giving advice in "matters of the heart" based on what she knew about Mariah and not what Cassie may have done in the same situation. It wasn't a pronounced moment, but I thought it was lovely.

[peach]

Mon, Dec 22    Bad Things Happen On The Road At Night

 

Austin holds up some mistletoe at The Underground.  He and Summer make out, and Phyllis interrupts.  “Wow, dinner AND a show.  What a bargain,” she snarks.   She’d like a few minutes with her gorgeous daughter.  “Surprise, here you are at The Underground.”  Slacker.  Yes, says Summer, here she is at her dad’s club, where her husband works.  DUH.  “As opposed to having your own job, or, school?” says Phyllis.  Oh Em Gee, Mom!  This is really about her spending time with her HUSBAND, isn’t it?!  No, it’s about you being a lazy waste of skin! 

 

Phyllis says being in love is like the greatest thing ever, but Summer NEEDS to have her own life and experiences.  Independence!  Well, to be fair, Summer IS independently wealthy.  Phyllis promises it will only make her relationship better, because clinging barnacles tend to get a little boring.  Summer snickers that PHYLLIS is giving her marital advice.  It’s not marital advice, idiot.  It’s how to be an actual person advice.

 

Adam pleads with Jack that if he tells ANYONE who he is, it is OVER FOR HIM.  Just when he was trying to get some kind of life back.  Guess you should have thought of that yesterday.  “You TOOK Delia’s life!  And then kept the truth from all of us!”  Adam says he was ON HIS WAY to the police to confess!  Then do the right thing and go to the police now!  Go to prison!  “You’ve been there before,” reasons Jack, which is the opposite of an incentive.  Adam didn’t have a SON the last time he was in prison!  That’s why he’s here right now!  He just wants to see him grow up!  So…that’s why you’re in Jack’s living room?  Instead of Switzerland?  Jack is sure Billy would like to see DELIA grow up, too.  They all would! 

 

I guess the show IS going to remember that Billy put a gun in Adam’s face last time.  Does Jack think he won’t do that again?!  “Turn yourself IN,” enunciates Jack, “and he won’t get the chance!”  Yeah, and inmates go really easy on gorgeous guys blamed for taking little girls’ lives.  Waah!  Jack is livid. “You still can’t say it!  BLAMED for it?!  You weren’t BLAMED for it, you did it!”  Jack shouts that he’s FURIOUS.  “Imagine how furious Billy’s going be if he finds out I’m still alive!”  Think about what he’s going to do!  He’s going to find a way to get to Adam, and then he’ll be dead, and Billy will be in prison, even though he got away with killing him the first time!  Then ALL the kids will be fatherless!!  WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!  Well, Jack can just keep on being everyone’s surrogate father.  He’s got a dozen surrogate kids by now.

 

Chelsea thanks Billy for taking her to Delia’s memorial and including her.  Because mourning is a contest.  Billy thinks they are the Blended Family Of The Year.  Well, sure, now that Shick is out of the running.   Chelsea thinks this is going to be an amazing Christmas with  lots of love and kids and presents.  That reminds Billy he needs to buy a gift for her.  He’ll see her back at Adam’s penthouse.  Chelsea notices Sage sitting at the bar, drinking the hard stuff.  This show should be sponsored by Crown Royal.  And Secret.  “Excuse me,” says Chelsea, “Are you following me?”  Sage is like ummm, no?  I’m just copying your hairstyle.  Deal with it.

 

Paul is still loaded on eggnog and is packing up his Santa stuff when Dylan and Avery walk in.  They’re rhyming and such.  It’s flat out hilarious.  #nothilarious  Paul doesn’t even know what the heck those kids were asking for, because he’s SO OLD and out of touch.  Chris is home resting because she is ALSO OLD.  It turns out kids are pretty darn exhausting. 

 

Dylan and Avery have been putting out flyers to Save Crimson Lights.  Everyone cares about Dylan and the amazing impact of his coffee shop.  There’s even a news van outside.  Paul says if they get the media on their side, the powers that be will follow!  Avery agrees it’s a big step in getting landmark status for the building.  “That sounds like a lot of paperwork,” says Paul, “but worth it, maybe.”  Maybe.  Cops really do hate paperwork.  Paul expounds that these old brick buildings have been around a long time, but they were built to last.  Their boilers suck, though.  Dylan philosophizes that some people don’t know the value of something until it’s gone.  Once that happens, it’s too late to get it back.  But then you get an IKEA and everything is okay.

 

Sharon and Nick rush back to the tack house and search all 300 sq ft of it again for Faith.  She’s not there!  Sharon does NOT understand why she would just run off!  What did he say to her?!  Nick blames SANTA!  Lmao  Omg, Nick, you are SUCH a douchebag.  He says Faith was upset that Santa couldn’t give her what she wanted for Christmas.  Sharon’s like that is RIDICULOUS.  Santa isn’t real!  What could Faith possibly want that they couldn’t give her?!  Nick’s like, seriously?  Sharon’s like, ohhh, a family. 

 

Nick insists he told Faith they love her and that will never change!  Just her address.  So she just ran out and Nick didn’t stop her??  She’s a CHILD!  Nick thought she was okay!  “She is NOT okay, Nick.  NO ONE  is okay!”  Sharon is scared.  Faith can’t be out there!  In the snow and the cold!  Anything could happen to her!  If only the ranch had a security team.

 

Phyllis asks Summer if getting romantic advice from her is really hilarious?  Well, Summer only plans on being married once.  And sitting on a bar stool til death do they part. Well, Phyllis only planned on being married once, okay.  To someone else’s husband.  But sometimes life gets in the way!  “None of us set out to be a three-time bride, Summer. And to think otherwise is naïve.”  You have no idea how many people there are to cheat with out there. 

 

Summer asks how it’s going with Jack.  Phyllis thinks they are handling their issues like mature adults.  Summer’s like, hmm, meaning Jack hid all the fragile valuables before she could throw them across the room?  No, meaning he admits he should have told her sooner about Kelly, and she understands he was lonely and needed companionship.  “And that you want to rip Kelly’s face off?” adds Summer.  Yes, says Phyllis, but no.  She and Jack have moved past that, because Kelly could possibly kick her ass if she tried.  She’s accepted that life went on while she was away.  Oh, so then she’s accepting that Summer is a happily married to a bartender woman? 

 

Nick calls, frantically asking if Faith is with her.  Now Summer is frantic.  Thanks, Nick.  He says they WILL find her.  Sharon says Faith isn’t with Mariah, either.  She whispers that it’s cold out, and she’s so little!  And people can be so awful.  Nick insists they’re going to find her.

 

Paul asks how landmark status is going.  Avery’s trying to get the mayor on their side, but he hasn’t gotten back to them yet.  Paul offers to make a call.  He’s The Chief, right?  Dylan’s uncomfortable with the whole nepotism thing.  Except for when it kept him out of prison.  Why use your social clout to fight developers?  Paul’s like, Dylan, don’t be stupid.  He’d made that call anyway for a good cause.  Okay, okay.  Ho ho ho, he’s gotta go.  Avery praises Dylan that it was SMART to take Paul’s help.  “I know it’s not easy for you.”  Dylan agrees, it’s not easy for him to be smart.  But he intends to become a pro at that.  They flirt.  Dylan can’t wait to make her name not be Clark anymore.  He gets a call.  Paul works fast because the mayor’s willing to see them!  “Oh my gosh!  Dylan!  We can do this!” 

 

Sage is like, following you?  I don’t even know who you are.  Ohh, wait, she was at that roadside memorial.  What a weird coincidence.  “That we just happen to be in the same place on the same day?” asks Chelsea.  At Grand Central Station?  Sage says she’s registered at the hotel, so basically, Chelsea’s in the same place that SHE is.  And earlier she was just all turned around and lost in the zoo rocks.  “Listening in to a private conversation?” prods Chelsea.  She doesn’t think Sage has a very believable cover story.  Sage is like, I didn’t know I needed a cover story, weirdo.  Hmm, well, Chelsea doesn’t know her, but she has a feeling Sage knows who SHE is.  She can spot a con a mile away, and Sage is setting off her radar.  She wants to know why.  Sage raises an eyebrow. 

 

Adam says Billy’s not rotting away in a prison cell for trying to shoot him in his own car that night.  He’s out there getting on with his life.  Jack shouts not to act like this was some “rough patch” Billy went through!  His daughter is dead!  Yeah, and the thought of it makes Adam sick!  But ‘Adam’ is dead now.  He paid the ultimate price.  He lost his wife and the chance to raise his son!  Except he’s trying to do it anyway.  This circular conversation is giving Jack and me a headache. 

 

Jack says it’s a stolen identity!  But it’s still Adam behind that face.  He’s still alive!  “I am walking, Jack, but I’m not LIVING.  Not yet.”  Jack’s like, seriously?  You’re expecting MORE!  You want it ALL back?!  Um, according the last 17 paragraphs, YES.  “Billy and Chelsea are together now!  They’re happy!”  Well, that might be the case, but Adam wants to see his son.  He wants to hear Chelsea fast talk again.  These are the things he misses!  Well, Billy lost more than he could ever imagine. 

 

But what does Billy GAIN by finding out Adam is alive again?  Does he really want to rip open that wound again?  Billy might not ever come back from that.  “Because, of course, you worry so much about him,” chides Jack.  Adam insists this way they both get to remain in the land of the living, especially Adam.  He gets that Jack wants to see him punished, but doesn’t he also want to protect his brother from himself?  Speak of the devil, Billy stops by.  “Who’s this?” he asks bad manneredly.  Adam stares at Jack like don’t do it!

 

Sage says she heard voices, she didn’t realize that---  “A man was pouring his heart out over his deceased child?  Why not stick around?” snarks Chelsea.  Sage is like, I couldn’t even hear what you were saying!  She would never take pleasure in someone’s suffering, she knows how it feels to lose someone you love.  “Finding common ground,” points out Chelsea, “Nice move.”  Sage is like, omg, Adam loves this bitch? 

 

Chelsea asks if Sage was recording Billy so she could post it on some disgusting tabloid website or something?  Sage is like I wish I hadn’t been there!  “Geez, I wish I wasn’t here now!”  She swigs a drink to deal this shrew.  Chelsea demands to know what she’s doing there.  She’s STAYING at the hotel!  What if Chelsea doesn’t believe her?  Sage is like tough shit, I guess.  She gets a call and rushes out of the bar.  “HEY!” shouts Chelsea.  Sage is gone.

 

Adam takes charge of the moment and introduces himself to Billy as Gabriel Bingham.  He’s done some business with his brother.  Billy is instantly suspicious because that name isn’t familiar to him.  All of a sudden, Billy cares about stuff.  Adam says it was a long time ago, before Billy was at the office, since his career spans 10 months or something.  Oh, must be the Hong Kong years, says Billy.  Must be. 

 

Adam says he knows he’s overstepping, but he wanted to make his personal plea.  So do they have a deal, Jack?  “No, not yet,” says Jack.  “Not yet” he can live with.  They’ll talk soon.  He starts to leave and Billy rudely says, Hey!  Adam waits.  “Nice to meet you.”  Um, sure.  He leaves. Jack rubs his face. He doesn’t even know what to think.  Billy asks if Jack wants to tell him what THAT was all about??

 

Phyllis is like, they can’t find Faith anywhere?  No.  Summer’s super worried.  Maybe they should post it on Faceplace.  She’s too flustered to use her phone!  It’s okay, babe, Austin’s got ya.  Phyllis watches with interest.  Summer’s freaking out because it’s so cold out!  Phyllis sensibly thinks she could be in the barn or one of the many service buildings on the ranch.  “This is Sharon’s fault!” cries Summer.  “Sharon is the one that tore up this family, and now Faith is scared and alone all because of Sharon!” who she wants to live with forever and ever. 

 

Even Phyllis isn’t blaming Sharon. She says how many times did Summer run off, only to be back in time for dinner!  “Even as adult, you ran off to Chicago after the Kyle mess.”  Austin’s like, Kyle!! He narrows his eyes. Summer whines that Faith is a kid and doesn’t know how to look after herself like amazing, independent Summer!  Phyllis trusts TGNN to find her.  It will all be okay.

 

Paul and the cops are at the ranch looking for Faith.  He wanted to be part of this personally, unlike all the other times he’s been part of this personally.  He asks Nick if this has anything to with before, when he was Santa.  Well, of course.  It’s all YOUR fault.  Nick pretends he didn’t blame Paul at all, and says he just told Faith the truth, that Santa can’t put screwed up families back together.  Sharon assures him it’s not his fault, she just wants to find their daughter.  No one’s heard from her. 

 

Paul asks if she’s ever done this before.  Sharon says a couple of years ago she panicked and ran off, but they found her almost immediately.  Why did she panic, asks Paul.  Nick stares at Sharon.  Sharon says she was hurt, and Faith was scared, just like now.  Nick says Faith was upset and she acted out.  “What does she have to hang onto, Nick?  A war between Mommy and Daddy?  She KNOWS I’m hurt, she knows why!” 

 

Nick growls that he’s putting every ounce of energy he has into finding their daughter, SHE should be doing the same!  “You’re NOT hearing me,” says Sharon.  “Faith is terrified she’s going to lose me.  How much proof do you need to see before you realize you’re hurting our child!”  She stomps toward the window.  Nick thinks about burying her alive.  He jumps up.  “You wanna do this?  You wanna blame ME?  YOU lied to Faith. You lied to Faith’s father.  You told her I was punishing you?  If she found out he was going for full custody, she didn’t hear about it from me!”  Because who she HEARD it from is the issue, not him doing it. 

 

“Faith and I BOTH know you are using her to get back at me, like you have done TOO MANY TIMES before!”  Nick says Sharon is using her as a human shield!  By keeping her?  Ugh, he makes me sick.  “You are hiding behind an innocent child!” says Nick.  “YOU did this.  You did this to all of us!  You dragged Noah into this.  YOU DON’T KNOW HOW to put your kids FIRST!” That's done by stealing them!

 

Nick says it’s so OBVIOUS, like when she tried to make people think Adam wasn’t a threat when he STOLE their child and let them think she was dead.  And nothing’s changed in the past EIGHT years, so that’s why he’s getting custody NOW, so he can keep Faith safe.  Safe?  “THIS happened on YOUR WATCH,” blasts Sharon.  “That’s YOU keeping her safe??”  This is all on NICK!  And if he wants to take her to court, she’ll tell the judge about THIS right away!  And she’ll have a police report to back it up! 

 

HEY!  Paul says they’re not going to use his department to bolster their case.  Either one of them!  Sure.  This is about finding their child, so let’s do this!  Call more people.  Paul’s going to supervise his men.  Little feet usually don’t go far.  So do him a favor, and don’t kill each other.

 

Chelsea runs into Avery at the club.  She asks if she’ll look over some of Adam’s estate paperwork?  Sure.  I thought Michael was doing that, but I guess she needs a reason to chat with her about the fight to save Crimson Lights.  Avery says they could use her support at the big rally.  Chelsea notices her engagement ring. Oh my gosh, that’s great.  Looks like they’re all getting a fresh start.

 

Billy says he walked in there and saw Jack drilling that guy with a look he usually saves for Victor.  “There are similarities,” says Jack.  Ha.  Billy wants to know if was really doing business with him?  Yeah, and not all of it positive.  Was he there to make nice and kiss the ring?  Jack says it was something like that.  Billy thinks the guy coming to Jack’s  house takes some real stones.  His next play will be to use the friendship card.  Wow, Billy knows all about how to manipulate people.  Ohhh, he’s already played that card, says Jack.  And the dead hooker card, and not many people have one of those. 

 

Billy knows Jack is a big fan of loyalty, but he needs to check his gut, brother!  Don’t get screwed over just to be nice!  Jack just needs more time to consider.  As long as he’s considering things, look at some baby photos.  Blended Family Christmas is awesome.  Jack’s like, wow, Johnny…and Connor.  Billy’s full of Christmas cheer and says they’re all getting along:  Chelsea, Victoria, and even Stitch.  Jack realizes Billy’s more at peace than he’s seen him in a long time.  The rationalization has begun.  Billy went to the memorial today, and realized all the time he gets to spend with Johnny, Connor, Katie..he’s a lucky guy.  Jack pats him on the knee. He has a package in the kitchen. It’s Chelsea’s gift, so he’s going to grab it.  Jack looks in his desk drawer at the guardianship papers for Connor.  Good thing they're handy in his writing desk right there.

 

Adam visits Delia’s memorial.  “Dee Dee…I’m so sorry.”  He chokes out through tears that he came there once before and told her he had to pay for what he did to her.  And he feels like he has, just not in the way he intended to.  He lost his wife and son.  “Oh, God, I hope you didn’t suffer,” he weeps.  But there’s a little boy, that he wants to get to know.  He needs him, it’s his son.  “I don’t want to hurt anybody anymore.  I don’t want anyone to suffer.  I just want to live my life.  That’s all.”  He hopes she understands that.  Well, not really, because she’s DEAD, Adam. 

 

Summer whines about finding Faith.  She just wants to hold her hand and  help her through this.  Blaming her mom would be really supportive.  Austin says they’ll find her.  They close the bar and leave. 

 

Phyllis gets home.  She tells Jack that Faith is missing. She took off on Nick and everyone’s a wreck.  She snatches Jack’s folder out of his hand.  What’s this?  Guardianship papers for Connor Newman??  Adam was worried that if he died, Victor would get control of Connor.  “And warp the kid?” asks Phyllis.  Pretty much.  She’s still piecing all this together.  So when Adam died is when Jack found out his connection to Delia’s accident?  That’s a lot at once, says Phyllis.  First he’s grieving his friend, then he finds out he did it?  Part of Jack hated him, part of him pitied him.  “I don’t know that Adam ever really had a chance in life, tied to Victor the way he was.”  Phyllis thinks if he’d gotten away from his father he might have had a better shot.  “He would have been a better man, I know that,” says Jack.  Phyllis wishes he had that chance, but it still doesn’t make sense. Why does he have those papers out now?

 

Adam sneaks into the penthouse.  He walks around wistfully, and holds Connor’s blanket.  He looks at the tree and see Connor’s First Christmas ornament.   Omg, someone’s home!  He hides in the kitchen. That’s probably safe.  He peeks at Chelsea unloading gifts.  Omg, is Chelsea going in the kitchen?!  He just stands there while she opens the door, which is a great plan, but he’s saved by Billy walking in the front door.  He has her gift.  She wants to shake it!  NO!  They banter and flirt about how impatient they are, while Adam is forced to listen.  They go upstairs, if you knowwhatImean.  Adam comes out of the kitchen.  What now?

 

Avery sits with Dylan and mopes about the messy legal business of dying.  When she thought Dylan was dead he was always in her thoughts. She’d lie awake in bed at night and pray for one more day to see his face.  Then she’d roll over and have sex with Nick.   “And here I am,” says Dylan.  He wonders if Chelsea thinks about Adam when she’s with Billy.  Because she sure thought about him when she was with Dylan.  Avery’s just glad she’s happy.  Everyone deserves a second chance to the 10th power.  City Hall calls!  Aw, dang.  The mayor canceled.  Avery’s pissed.  Why would they make an appointment just to break it?!  Dylan says that’s a good question.  The fight just got tougher.

 

Summer and Austin are back at the club.  They couldn’t find Faith at the park, the movies, anywhere!  Summer whines about how cold it is outside.  Austin assures her the police won’t give up.  His hair is growing out or something, it looks kind of weird.  Austin thinks when Faith calms down, she’ll go home. “She left for a reason,” whimpers Summer.  “Because being out there is not as scary as being at home!  Pleeease just promise me we’ll never get a divorce!  Promise me we won’t ever put our own kids through this!”  Austin doesn’t want any kids, so no problem.

 

Paul comes in the tack house and says Faith’s bicycle tracks go all the way to the main road.  They needed the police to figure that out?  Sharon freaks, Faith has never been on that road alone.  Paul’s going to widen the search.  Sharon’s panicking!  She’s on the main road, on her bike, as it gets dark when the roads get icy!  That’s if someone didn’t grab her!  Nick insists that didn’t happen.  “Bad things happen on the road at night,” intones Sharon.  “Like Delia.”  Nick’s getting emotional, too.  “Faith is not like anyone else in this world.  She’s not Cassie.  She’s not Delia.”  No, she’s not like anyone else, Nick. 

 

He comforts her and says last time she took off, Super Dylan found her and brought her Home.  She came Home!  “She was Home, with Us,” says Nick.  They have a flashback to Shick reading Faith a story together instead of spanking her butt so she never did it again.  She probably thinks this time will end with a Shick rendition of Bumpy The Camel, and all will be well again.  Even worse, she’s probably right.  “She came Home,” repeats Sharon.  They gaze at each other. 

 

Dylan and Avery walk into Crimson Lights, still frustrated that they were SO CLOSE before the mayor screwed them over.  Someone must have gotten to him, says Avery. Someone besides Paul!  But she doesn’t think Joe has that kind of pull.  Dylan says his investors might!  Well, if the mayor’s going to side with Big Business, then omg.  They might get an IKEA!  Dylan’s not just going to watch it all go away.  Avery says the Landmark Commission could still decide in their favor.  “Unless somebody gets to them, too!” says Dylan.  Why don’t you let your mom get to them?  Money talks, bullshit walks, Dylan.  He plans to fight!  He’s not losing a damn thing he cares about to Joe Clark!

 

Adam’s done lost his mind, because he’s slowly creeping up the stairs to his occupied bedroom.  His phone starts buzzing.  He picks up without saying anything, but he hears Sage saying Gabe, it’s serious.  It’s Constance!  Come home right now!  “I AM home,” he replies.

 

Jack ponders his papers.  Phyllis was talking to Daniel on the phone.  She didn’t tell him about Faith because there’s nothing he can do from so far away.  Why would Daniel would do anything?  Jack says it’s nerve wracking to fear for a child.  But that’s not why he has Connor’s papers out, so tell her what’s going on with him.  Jack’s like, who knows, it was a year ago when Adam’s car went down that embankment, so many things have happened, she’s back.  She is, and she’s never going anywhere again. She hugs him.  “But, Adam, he’s never coming back.”  Phyllis should know you never say never.

 

Summer whines through her nose about how awful it was for Faith, and Daniel, and Noah, and her to be bounced around from parent to parent.  It’s really confusing when your parents are constantly at each other’s throats.  Austin promises that will never be them, not while she stares sadly at him like a five year old.  As long as freaking KYLE never shows up.

 

Sharon and Nick aren’t getting anywhere calling friends.  They sit sadly on the couch.  Nick starts reminiscing about skating with Faith and her love of cold hot chocolate.  Sharon turns to him with tears in her eyes.  “Nick, I can’t do it again.  File away memories like we did with Cassie.  Faith has to be okay.”  Nick remembers Sharon is a human being and holds her.

[Joimiaroxeu]

JH is better than either Alan Ritchson or Stephen Amell.

I don't know who the Ritchson guy is but as far as Amell is concerned, until I see JH doing a climb like this, I'm gonna have to say "not quite". ;-)

 

They're making him look bigger than Jack, but smaller than Victor.

Yeah, and the only way that works is if Victor is also taller than Jack. Last I recall them in a scene together, they were about the same height. Something fishy is going on unless the show is using particular camera perspectives to make Victor look taller.

[PatsyandEddie]

Maybe he borrowed Tom Cruise's lifts from when he was married to Nicole Kidman?

[kia112]

He comforts her and says last time she took off, Super Dylan found her and brought her Home. She came Home! “She was Home, with Us,” says Nick. They have a flashback to Shick reading Faith a story together instead of spanking her butt so she never did it again.

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

[NinjaPenguins]

* When she thought Dylan was dead he was always in her thoughts. She’d lie awake in bed at night and pray for one more day to see his face. Then she’d roll over and have sex with Nick *

I'm as dead as Jack's hooker. As usual, funny stuff, peach!

[movinon]

 

Avery praises Dylan that it was SMART to take Paul’s help.  “I know it’s not easy for you.”  Dylan agrees, it’s not easy for him to be smart.

This one's a keeper, Peach.  It's nice to see everyone back, and I hope all your Christmases were great.  Is that a word? 

[peach]

Tue, Dec 23   Shocking Developments 

 

Sage convinces Adam that he needs to get back to the castle.  Constance is sick and may be dying.  Okay, okay.  He slips out the door and sees Victoria getting off the elevator with Katie.  Aww.  He looks sentimental and tells his sister, “Cute baby.”  She’s like thanks, whatever.  Uncle Adam wistfully gets on the elevator before Billy comes to the door.  Victoria needs his help.
Nick and Sharon have rushed back over to the cottage to search there some more, because they saw a light on.  But she isn’t there.  Nick says to stay positive.

 

Dylan and Avery come in Crimson Lights, where they have found Faith’s bike!  He goes behind the bar and finds Faith curled up in a ball.  Raise your hand if you’re surprised Faith went to Super Dylan at the epicenter of the community.  Nobody?  Where would runaway children go if Joe Clark gets his way?!  #CrimsonLightsMatters

 

“What are you doing here?” asks Dylan gently.  “I had to get away from him,” says Faith.  From who?  That jerk, Nick.  Avery looks at Dylan.  She had to get away from him, too.  Dylan calls Sharon and lets her know.  “Oh, thank God!  We’re on our way!”  Nick will call Paul.

 

Stitch and Ashley are in the lab.  He’s ditched his lab coat, so I guess it’s quittin’ time.  He’s frustrated with the progress of the middle notes.  Ashley says it takes time to perfect a rape fragrance.  She acts all bedroomy and says she’ll stay late.  “When you feel passionately about something you don’t mind putting in the late nights,” she breathes.  Flashback to tequila shower sex.  Okay, well, he’ll send her his latest calculations.  Ashley says this is ridiculous.  They’re acting like everything is normal between them.  Which it kind of is except she’s always bringing this up.

 

Victor’s on the phone in the park.  He’s very relieved they found Faith.  He meets up with creepy Tobias.  “So what is Ashley developing in the lab?”  A crush on Stitch.

 

Joe drinks scotch at the club and reads the business news:  SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS UNITED AGAINST DEVELOPMENT.  Cane says he didn’t expect them to roll over and die, did he?  “Well, I thought my charm would at least roll’em over.”  Oh my, Joe.  Cane mumbles something about winning over movers and shakers who will come to the cocktail party.  Joe’s starting a beard or goatee or something.  Not sure how I feel about that.  Colin and Jill walk up.

 

Colin hopes he’s on that party list.  “Without a plus one,” says Jill.  Joe’s surprised an intelligent, forward thinking woman such as herself is not on the right side of progress.  She doesn’t like what they’re progressing to.  Cane suggests she come to the cocktail party and see what he’s proposing.  Oh, she knows what she needs to, honey, and she’s not changing her mind.  “Besides, I like a good fight,” she grins.  “Even one you know you can’t win,” smugs Joe.  Jill says he’s as confident as he is suave.  Almost like he knows something the rest of them don’t…

 

Faith explains to Dylan that everything was perfect, and they were finally going to be a family again, but Daddy ruined it.  And Mommy is SO sad even though she pretends she isn’t.  Dylan says grownup relationships are whack.  “But if Daddy would just TALK to Mommy.” Dylan asks if that’s why she ran away?  So they would talk?  Faith is like…busted.  Sharon and Nick come running in the door.  They were worried sick!  Sharon gets Faith’s coat while Dylan takes Nick aside and asks how he’s holding up.  Faith is taking this breakup pretty hard.  Dylan doesn’t get it because he doesn’t have kids like TGNN, but when he does, he’ll know that when your kids are in pain…it kills you.  Poor Nick.

 

Tobias tries to give Victor a flash drive with photographs of Dr. Russell’s files.  I’m not sure Victor knows what a flash drive is.  Tobias thinks if Victor analyzes the formulas, he might find what he’s looking for.  MIGHT??  Victor doesn’t do might.  Tobias knows he wanted definitive answers by the end of the year, but he’s doing the best he can!  That may not be good enough, says Victor.  He should have Ashley confide in him.  Tobias is like, umm, I’m not her type.  It won’t be easy.  “I don’t giveadamn if it’s easy.  Nothing in life is easy, K?  Justdoit!”

 

Ashley knows they decided to forget about the shower experience and not let it affect their professional relationship.  But it’s not working.  Because Ashley says it’s not.  Stitch says it does feel weird to have slept with her and then tell her he’s back with Victoria the next day.  Ash insists he doesn’t OWE her anything, she doesn’t expect anything from him!  But Stitch is a gentleman and thinks she deserves more than a one night stand that she seduced him into while he was wasted.  Ashley understands that relationships are complicated sometimes.  Then how can he uncomplicate this?  She asks if they can hit the reset button and go back to being friends and colleagues again.  Why do I feel like this conversation already happened?

 

Abby bubbles in.  She tells them Faith ran away, but who wouldn’t with Sharon for a mother.  But whatever, she’s totally home again.  Now they can go to the Jabot Christmas party!  WOOT!  “You know what happens when the suits and the lab coats mix it up!”  Stitch and Ashley act overtly awkward about it, so Abby wants to know what is going on with these two!

 

Victoria fills Billy in on Faith.  She wants to talk about christening dates.  Vicky’s amazed thinking that a month ago, imagining their fearsome foursome at the baby’s christening would seem impossible.  Billy thinks Katie’s managed to heal a lot of wounds.  And win them Blended Family Of The Year.  So she can pick any date she wants.  Also, Victoria would like to make something official, her name.  Katherine Rose Newman.  Wow.  Billy’s like…what?

 

Joe tells Jill she’s right.  He does know something she doesn’t, and it will ensure this project’s success.  She says it’s a list of greedy investors with deep pockets.  Nope.  “Me,” says Joe.  He’s never backed a losing project and this isn’t going to be the first.  Jill usually finds this kind of confidence very attractive in a man.  Colin concurs.  But in this case, it only intensifies her desire to ruin that perfect record he loves to brag about!  Joe seems to intensify a lot of desires. 

 

He admires a woman with fire.  Colin warns Joe that a sideways glance could reduce him to a pile of ash.  She’ll reduce COLIN to ash if he keeps siding with these cronies.  “Well, isn’t this going to be a fun, family Christmas,” say Cane.  Jill says these guys don’t get it.  A city is a living, breathing thing, and you can’t chip away at the coffee house heart of it, or eventually you’ll have nothing left.  She gets very “not in my backyard” about it.  Joe’s surprised a shrewd businesswoman like Jill is so…sentimental.  Cane says don’t let her fool you.

 

Colin says he may disagree with his wife on this, but don’t underestimate her.  She’ll lock your ass in the attic.  Oh, well Joe wouldn’t do that, but he does wonder how a shrewd, cunning woman such as herself lost control of Chancellor Industries.  OUCH.  She looks over and says there’s the reason.  It’s sitting right over there.  Victor Newman.  Cane has joined Victor to ask him if he’s coming to the cocktail party.  Victor can’t be bothered to look up from his phone, but he’ll be there.  So can Joe use his name to bolster support?  Absolutely not!  Get somebody else for that.

 

Adam and Sage hover near Constance’s bed.  Sage is weepy and explains that Constance tried to get out of her wheelchair and had a bad fall.  Now her heart is strained, and this is the end, I guess.  Adam says she needs to get her to the hospital.  “She doesn’t want to go to the hospital!  She wants to die here.”  Adam digs deep for some compassion and says he knows Sage loves her.  He has come to care about her, too.  Sort of.  Then give her what she wants.  Give her her grandson’s love.  Okay, he’ll do it.  

 

He sits with Constance and holds her hand.  Constance wakes up.  She has to tell him something. She’s kept it from him for too long.  Adam says she just needs to rest.  “You need to know, Gabriel.  It’s about your father.”

 

Shick took Faith home, where Sharon sits her on the couch.  Okay, young lady, you are never, ever to run off like that again!  There will be no reading of Bumpy The Camel!  Is that understood?  Sharon says if she’s angry or confused, she needs to talk to one of them.  “I did talk to Daddy!  If he’d just try to make up with you like I asked, I wouldn’t have run away!”  Sharon says that’s no excuse, and it’s not fair to Daddy.  This breakup is hard on everyone, including him.  Then why can’t he just change his mind! 

 

Nick is like, listen, I know it hurts, and I’m sorry.  “But the important thing is we both love you so much.”  Only I love you more, so I’m taking you.  He promises they will do everything they can to make this arrangement work, by attacking each other in court.  Faith is like, you PROMISED that we’d be a real family again, and that was a lie!  “Faith!” says Sharon.  “This is gonna be the worst Christmas ever!  And it’s all HIS fault!” cries Faith before running upstairs.  Nick is really bummed out.  “Nick, we can’t go on like this,” says Sharon.

 

Ashley tells Abby nothing is going on.  They just don’t want to go to the Christmas party.  Stitch is going to Special Snowflake’s house.  “Of course you are,” dismisses Abby.  But her mom needs to get a life!  She spends too much time around test tubes and boring chemistry geeks!  Stitch notes Abby hasn’t even started drinking yet.  He warns her to lay off the eggnog tonight.  “Oh, says the guy who got so drunk last week he spent the night on the couch here!”  Stitch is like yeaaaah.  Merry Christmas!  He leaves. 

 

Abby says something is off with them.  Tobias interrupts.  He came by to analyze samples.  Ashley says that’s so sweet, but he should go to the party and enjoy himself.  She smiles sooo sweetly and promises him more responsibility.  “You just keep on doing what you’re doing!  And you’re going to get exactly what you deserve.”

 

“So you just decided on your own to name our daughter Katie Snowflake?  You don’t want her to have my name??” says Billy.  He’s hurt.  I’m not much of a Billy fan, but I’m feelin’ him on this.  Who does Special Snowflake think she is?  She says try to understand.  Well, he really doesn’t.  How could she do this?  “Because for months, I thought of her as mine.”  Oh, okay.  “And now you know that she is OURS,” says Billy.  Well, she’s going to be living with Special Snowflake and going to work with her.  She has a special nursery at Newman Enterprises, so that makes her a Newman, Billy.  Not some stinking Abbott.  And honestly, they aren’t together anymore, so get over it.  Billy’s like, I’m her FATHER, just like I’m Johnny’s father, and he has my name.  He’s going to be spending just as much time with both of them. 

 

Victoria rolls her eyes.  “I’m not going to try to cut you off from your snowflake daughter.”  Billy’s like wait…you’re just trying to get back at me for hurting you.  Now you want to hurt me.  She wants to make the point that Billy wrecked their family, and what better way than to refuse to give his daughter his name.  Okay, he’s right.  It’s not fair to him.  What does he think about Katherine Rose Abbott Newman?  Umm..he can live with it?  She smiles victoriously.  “Good.  Katie Abbott Newman it is.”  Emphasis on Newman.  Billy just kind of looks at the floor.  Okay, see ya at the christening!  She leaves.  Billy really can’t believe it.

 

Sharon hates that this is happening during the holidays!  Nick says he’s doing everything he can to make this a happy Christmas for Faith.  “The only thing that’s going to make her happy is if her parents get back together.”  Nick says they both know that is not going to happen.  “Yes, we do,” says Sharon disgustedly.  But Faith still believes in Christmas miracles.  Nick says she better not be giving her false hope!  She’s like what are you talking about, how can he even suggest that?  So what is Sharon trying to say?? 

 

“YOU made her a promise that we would be a family.  Now maybe it’s my fault that you couldn’t keep that promise, or MAYBE you shouldn’t have even made it in the first place.  But the POINT is, she’s trying to tell us something.  If we can’t be a family, then can we at least not fight?”  If she’s trying to get him to drop the custody suit, she can forget it!  “Even after what happened today, you wouldn’t consider it?”  He will not let Faith’s emotional distress keep him from doing what’s best for her.  Sharon says maybe what’s best for her is not getting into a tug of war over her.  No, they just need to work harder to get her to accept the reality of the situation.  Yeah, Sharon, just work harder to give Faith to Nick.  Why you gotta hassle him? 

 

Avery tells Dylan that Nick and Sharon must be relieved.  It must be terrifying to think you’ve lost your child.  Dylan says Sharon’s still facing that prospect.  He knows Avery thinks Nick getting custody is best, but Dylan’s not so sure.  Look how it’s affecting Faith already.  They talk about being parents. Blah blah.  They would have been great parents and their kid would have been amazing. There is no lack of amazing kids in GC.  Avery gets a text.  Oh, no, it’s bad news.  Their historical landmark status has been denied!  Omg, somebody with a lot of power is getting to everyone that could help them!  Who could it be?

 

Joe says Jill’s still upset that Victor was given control of Chancellor Industries.  “Given control.  Please, he stole it!”  That’s interesting, because he read Katherine bequeathed her company to Victor in her will.  “He conned a little old lady out of her company.”  Ha!  That sure is hell isn’t on her plaque.  Or maybe she felt he was better suited to continue her legacy.  Jill’s jaw drops!  Oh, no he didn’t!  Colin’s like, whoa, let’s all agree to disagree on that one and get back to the redevelopment project.  He’s recently extorted a spot of cash and is looking to invest it.  Joe’s good, but if they need Colin’s funds he’ll be in touch.  He leaves.  Jill is annoyed.  Colin wouldn’t have two dimes to rub together if she hadn’t stopped that slimeball Kurtz.  Well, he’s eternally grateful, but he blackmailed Devon all on his own.  Jill’s like, this is how you show your gratitude?  By backing something she opposes?

 

Joe walks over to say hello to Cane, so he can introduce him to Victor Newman.  Cane says Victor will come to the cocktail party.  “But I will not be used to draw other investors,” says Victor.  Joe appreciates his candor, but he can understand why Joe would try, with a man of his caliber.  “I will be at the gathering.  Youhaveaniceday.”  Joe takes the hint and walks away.  Victor asks Cane if Joe is just a friend, or his conduit back to the corporate world?  “That would be if I WANTED to come back to the corporate world, but I’ve already told you I’m happy where I am.” 

 

Blah business blah.  Cane randomly asks if he’s referring to how he’s not rebounded since the Bonaventure debacle?  Well, he didn’t get indicted, so I guess everything’s okay.  But Victor says one day he’ll find out who was behind that.  I guess the FBI never did.  “It was quite a setback,” says Victor.  Cane agrees that with all the SEC fines and RICO charges it must have been very expensive for him.  RICO?  Seriously?  That’s okay, Victor wants him to know he’s got things in the pipeline that will more than make up for those losses.

 

Constance wants Gabriel to know that his father built all this himself, from his software empire.  “He did it for you, Gabriel.  He loved you.”  Gabriel tries to remember what to say.  Oh, he loved him, too.  Constance says everything he worked so hard for was stolen from him.  Yeah, that hostile takeover, Gabe heard about that.  Losing it was too much for him, says Constance.  Gabriel knows she thinks his heart attack was from the stress.  Well, it wasn’t a heart attack.  “Your father…committed suicide.”  Sage is like OMG!  Constance wanted to protect him from that, but now her time is running out, and she wants him to know who was responsible for the death of his father.  “His company was taken over by Newman Enterprises.” Because of course.  Sage’s jaw drops even farther.  “Victor Newman…killed your father.”  What are the odds?

 

Faith is back on the couch for another lecture.  Sharon and Nick keep telling her that it’s all going to work out.  Now Sharon plays the Two Christmases card.  Nick knows she has other friends whose parents don’t live together.  “But they don’t love each other like you and Mommy do!”  Remember your EPIC love, Nick?  If they would just get back together, Faith promises she will never ask for anything again.  Neither will Sharon!  Nick’s sorry, but they can’t give that to her.  Sharon says it will be okay.  “No, it won’t!” cries Faith before running upstairs AGAIN!

 

Stitch goes by Victoria’s with bags of presents.  He didn’t want to presume it was okay to come over on Christmas Eve.  It’s totally okay!  Did he reach Jenna and tell her what really happened with his dad?  He tried, but she won’t take his calls.  Vicky doesn’t understand, what happened to the video chats with Max?  Oh, she cut him off after Billy and Chelsea’s nosy questions, but he can’t blame her.  She’ll get in touch with him eventually.  Sure, whatever.  He hopes Jenna gives Max the gifts he sent him.  Vicky’s sorry.  He doesn’t deserve to be cut off from his son.  “Hey, I got you,” he says, “and I’m so happy about that.”  Special Snowflake LOOOOVES that.  They hug.

 

Billy went to Jabot to cry on Abby and Ashley’s shoulders about how crappy Victoria is being about Katie’s name.  Ashley says he can’t be shocked Vicky wants Katie to have the Newman name. Heck, I’m surprised Ashley didn’t keep it since she loves them so much.  “I can, and I am.  I’m pretty ticked about it.”  Abby suggests he get an attorney to fight it.  Billy doesn’t want to fight Victoria.  Katie’s his daughter, she should have his name.  But he said Victoria agreed to add Abbott. Sure, but NEWMAN still comes last.  It feels so…Victor like!  Like he got inside her head.  Ash thinks he’s jumping to conclusions.  Billy says he opened a nursery for her at the office, next he’ll be moving her into the ranch and filling her full of ideas of what a worthless father he is! 

 

Ashley says Vicky won’t let her father poison Katie’s mind against him.  Right.  His daughter is going to be under his constant influence!  Ashley says he has to trust Victoria on this.  Who just rejected his name.  Abby’s aggravated that Billy won’t go to the party either.  She leaves.  Ashley asks Billy to tell her the truth about why this name thing bothers him so much, and don’t tell her it’s Victor.

 

Nick puts on his coat.  He tells Sharon he’s doing what’s best for Faith.  “I know.  I don’t agree with you…but I believe you.”  Because she’s a better person than you.  Nick doesn’t really have a comeback for that.  “I wish things could be different,” he finally says.  Just because things didn’t work out doesn’t mean they can’t make it a wonderful Christmas for Faith, pleads Sharon.  “We will,” says Nick.  He leaves.  Sharon worries.

 

Ashley thinks Billy’s upset because this name choice means Victoria’s really saying it’s over.  Billy says it’s scary how well she knows him.  They get really depressing as Billy says he was happy and then when Delia died it all fell apart and he can’t get it back on track.  Until now.  Katie’s brought so much joy into their lives.  “Isn’t there any way Katie can put you and Victoria back on the path you were on before?”  Billy says they’re just friends and coparents now.  He can’t get it back.  He’s with Chelsea now, and they’re happy.  Ashley looks skeptical.

 

Victoria’s super into Stitch now. When he thinks about how close he was to losing her…  She says that’s all behind them now.  Kissing.  She kicks him out so she can take care of some last minute Christmas details.  She calls someone, presumably Jenna.  Because she needs to talk about Christmas.  Special Snowflake has spoken.

 

Cane tells Jill that Victor’s coming to the cocktail party.  She says it’s not bad enough he’s destroying Katherine’s legacy, he’s determined to tear apart the fabric of their city.  Colin doesn’t understand how the two of them let Victor take away Chancellor Industries.  Cane’s like, uh, Katherine GAVE it to him in her will, and there’s nothing they can do about it.  “Maybe.  Maybe not,” says Jill.

 

Dylan and Avery talk about whomever it is that must be pretty powerful to have the mayor and landmark commission on his side!!

 

Joe Clark and Victor Newman meet up back to back in the lobby of the club, looking at their phones, so Joe can clandestinely say, “Everything’s going according to plan.”  He walks away.  Victor looks dastardly.  Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

 

Gabriel/Adam says, “Grandmother, are you saying my father killed himself over a business deal with Victor Newman?”  Constance says he didn’t care what destroying her son would do.  “Well, from what I’ve heard, he’d destroy his OWN son if he got what he wanted.”  Constance asks Gabriel to promise her he’ll make Victor pay for what he did to his father.  Sage stares.  Adam intently says, “I promise you.  Victor Newman will suffer for everything he’s done.”  To both of me.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Joe’s starting a beard or goatee or something.  Not sure how I feel about that.

No problem with it where I'm sitting. To paraphrase the immortal words of Meghan Trainor, I'm all about that face. Pro-stubble.

 

To both of me.

Hee! Adam should start wearing one of those Phantom of the Opera masks.

Edited December 27, 2014 by Joimiaroxeu

[Blueeyes]

 

Nick is like, listen, I know it hurts, and I’m sorry.  “But the important thing is we both love you so much.”  Only I love you more, so I’m taking you.  He promises they will do everything they can to make this arrangement work, by attacking each other in court.

 

Does JM really think his character is a hero?  I think we've all agreed that NN is one giant douchbag, lol. 

[MollyB]

A two recap day! It's like finding a missed gift under the tree.  Thank you, Peach.  ( both brilliant recaps, as usual.)

[NinjaPenguins]

Ashley is really jonesing for a sexual harassment lawsuit, isn't she?

Could the writers have picked a more boring story with which to introduce nuclear sex weapon Joe Clark?

Edited December 27, 2014 by NinjaPenguins

[peacheslatour]

 

The Frankenstein Place

Dammit, Janet!  Now I've got "There's a Light" stuck in my head!

[Snaporaz]

 

“So you just decided on your own to name our daughter Katie Snowflake?  You don’t want her to have my name??” says Billy.  He’s hurt.  I’m not much of a Billy fan, but I’m feelin’ him on this.  Who does Special Snowflake think she is?  She says try to understand.  Well, he really doesn’t.  How could she do this?  “Because for months, I thought of her as mine.”

Could that be because she refused to get the paternity test?  Gods, I can't stand her.  Someone in the episode thread called this a passive-agressive move, and that's pretty spot-on.  Whenever someone compares her or Nick to Victor, they both get offended and act like they need to get out the smelling salts.  But they're almost exactly like him, only Victor owns his shit.

[peach]

WED – FRI  Dec 24-26    The Dumbest Miracle Ever

 

Christmas is the season of hustle and bustle and family and friends this week, so here are just the “highlights” of the miraculous Christmas in GC.  My gift to myself was “fast forward” like all you lucky people get to do.  ;D

 

The residents of fair Genoa City spent a lot of time visiting each other and talking about how amazing and miraculous and lucky they all are, if “amazing” means self-satisfied and boring.  They are all the luckiest, amazingest people on earth.  Except for Adam.  He does not feel amazing or lucky just yet, although he does continue to look amazing. 

 

Nick decides to pull his head out of his ass for a few minutes and be a decent person on Christmas Eve.  He dresses up like Santa Claus and spends time with his family at the cottage.  The best part is that it infuriates Victor, forcing Nick to sort of take Sharon’s side for a nanosecond, but even ole Vic comes in and hangs out for a while.  It’s all some kind of Christmas miracle, but Nick still plans to fight for full custody when the miracle is over.  A real miracle would be if Nick had an epiphany and realized all his actions are massive overreactions to his last actions.

 

In the absurdist segment, cult kid Mariah tries to get with the program with this Christmas stuff, but ends up having to go help out Kevin at the police station.  Harding gave him the responsibility of watching his pet rabbit for the holidays, like the GCPD is now a kindergarten.  I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.  Of course, the rabbit has escaped!  Kevin and Mariah search the precinct for the missing bunny, leading to several near kisses.  They finally find it…and it had baby bunnies!  OMG!  I think I read a Curious George book just like this once.  It’s a Christmas miracle, if you live in the Twilight Zone.  Honestly, I watched this whole part on FF.  I’m sure there was witty banter, but I’m on a schedule.

 

Let’s see, who else is on this show?  OH, the Winters.  They had Christmas Eve at Neil’s house, with cute little Moses.  Everyone thought it was a good idea to let a blind guy carry him around.  Gwen didn’t come, darn it, because Devon thinks Christmas is supposed to be spent with people you love, which is the whole point of a beard girlfriend, but he didn’t think it was fair to her.  Hilary is frustrated because she is married to his dad, Devon!  She feels guilty right now, so get away from her.  Well, since Gwen didn’t come, I didn’t watch much of this either.  Colin and Jill came over, and he enjoyed poking them with innuendo, but Devon’s not paying him any more money.  Jill’s hair looks fantastic.

 

Neil starts to see some shadows!  Hopefully his vision will return right when he can catch stupid Devon and Hilary being stupid.

 

At some point, Devon and Hilary end up in the park, and he gives her a diamond band that he plans to put on her finger when they are finally together and face the consequences.  It’s a consequences ring.  It’s not half as nice as the one Neil gave her, but she’ll hide it somewhere and wait for that amazing day.  I’m sure it will never turn up at the wrong moment.

 

Michael and Lauren and family sit around the table and presumably toast their amazing luckiness, and I didn’t watch more than two seconds of it.

 

Billy/Chelsea/Victoria/Stitch went round and round in their usual, boring, look at us now conversations, and it continues to be awkward every time Billy shows up at Vicky’s.  But their lives are full of amazing miracles and incredible luckiness, and Delia is forever in their hearts and conversations.  Special Snowflake arranged for Max to call Stitch on Christmas day.  Because she’s the absolute best.  She told Jenna that Grandma did all the murdering, and Stitch might be a doctor again one day.   So now Jenna will allow Max to speak to Daddy for 30 seconds, and let him have a boogie board.  It’s a Christmas miracle.

 

Jack and Phyllis are amazing and lucky.  Obviously, Phyllis being home is a Christmas miracle.  Austin and Summer come over, and Phyllis continues treating Austin like he doesn’t exist.  Her gift is a video he made that chronicles everything she missed.  Including the death and destruction of people like Delia and Adam.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!  Phyllis has to take a few breaks from all the trauma this show caused in the past year. 

 

Austin and Summer leave because Jack and Phyllis are super boring.  I still don’t know what’s going on with Austin’s hair, but I don’t like it.  Maybe it’s a product issue.  He saved up all his quarters and got Summer tickets to something expensive for New Year’s Eve.  Conversely, she didn’t spend any money, but has taken up knitting in secret.  That is probably the biggest secret this show has ever kept.  She is a hell of a beginner, because she knit him one elaborate scarf.  Summer has a skill!  It’s a Christmas miracle.

 

Avery and Dylan are amazing and lucky.  Her hair extensions still don’t match.  I think I watched them talk about things but I can’t even remember.

 

Nikki has returned from wherever she went, and looks very refreshed and lovely.   She is mad at Victor because he reserved them a table at Joe Clark’s infernal cocktail party for destroying Her Son’s coffee shop.  Victor explains that it’s not to support the project, it’s just a Q&A where they can find out what the nefarious plans are.  She can deal with that, I guess.  But will the Q&A reveal that Victor Newman owns the holding company Gerolamo that owns the warehouse district?!  Stay tuned to find out.

 

Nick brings Faith to the ranch on Christmas day, and is magnanimously going to let Sharon pick her up, before he sues for full custody.  Only Faith has turned into that other kid again!  That is not a Christmas miracle.  I want the other Faith back!  Waah.  Chelsea brings Connor over, too, and lets him play next to a roaring fire, while she tells Victor that her gift to him is spending time with Billy, which keeps him from spending time with Victoria.  Victor agrees that makes sense!  Nick doesn’t want to be around when Sharon shows up, so he leaves to go pout and drink whiskey in his bar.  Nikki follows to chat.

 

The Dumbest Miracle EVER:  So, while everyone is being amazing and lucky in various locations, THE POWER GOES OUT.  Oh, noes!  What is going on?  Meanwhile, Avery, Dylan, and Paul are drinking champagne and being amazing and lucky at Crimson Lights, but their power does NOT go out!  One by one, the residents of GC who are out driving around in the dark, notice that the LIGHTS ARE ON, and make their way into Crimson Lights for refuge from the darkness.  Except Hilary and Devon.  They stay in the dark so they can make out.  Paul calls the station and finds out that an ice storm up north has taken out the power, except for Crimson Lights.

 

All our vagabond travelers put tables together, and light Christmas candles, and Summer gets the silverware and napkins.  That girl is obsessed with napkins.  Nick is so glad that Super Dylan had a backup generator.  No!  There is no generator!  It can’t be explained!  IT’S A FRIGGIN’ CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!!!!!!  WE CAN DRINK COFFEE DURING A 15 MIN POWER OUTAGE!!!!

 

Phyllis is willing to call Austin by his name now, and thanks him for the wonderfully thoughtful video.

 

Nikki and Victor have a moment while hanging out in the miracle coffee house.  He has another gift for her. It’s some kind of strawberry locket thing.  Strawberries in winter! They have a pretty great flashback to a very young Nikki and Victor in bed together.  She’s eating strawberries in winter.  He always makes sure there’s a dish of them for her in the fridge.  Her hair is priceless!  He tells her she’s every man’s fantasy.  “You’re not so bad yourself,” she replies.  Back in the present, he tells her she’s STILL his fantasy.  “You’re not so bad yourself,” she replies again.  They hug and kiss.  Despite what awful people they are,

I still have a smile/feelz for old people love, and tradition!  Lol  It’s a Christmas miracle!

 

Okay, Christmas is over.  People have jobs to do.  Michael finds Joe Clark in the lobby of the club and drops him as a client.  Joe’s like wtf??  In the eleventh hour?!  What’s going on?  Joe, I tried to tell you Michael is a terrible lawyer.  Michael doesn’t really explain, he just acts intense and weird and challenging about it.  Joe’s ticked off.

 

He goes to meet with Victor at the ranch about this annoying development, plus now they have to deal with all the positive press about the Crimson Lights Christmas Power Miracle of 2014.  They spell it out a little more that Victor absolutely does own Gerolamo and thinks no one will ever find out.  Joe’s sure not telling anyone.

 

Jack visits Ashley at the lab and has a total freakout when he finds out Victor has a spy photographing files.  He just got his life back, he CAN’T DEAL WITH Victor ruining the project!  Ashley assures Jack that the spy stole bogus files.  Jack relaxes a little and says he should have trusted her.  But once Victor finds out, he’ll have a countermove!  Ashley’s ready for that.  Jack tells her she can’t ever let her guard down for a single second around there, and also that she works too hard and needs to get out and date more. Go find a date for New Year’s and have some fun! 

 

Michael goes to Crimson Lights and intensely and weirdly tells Avery and Dylan that he dropped Joe Clark because life has to be about more than that, right?  Representing people for money?  Avery’s thrilled.  He still doesn’t tell his law partner that he has cancer and might need some time off, and that’s the real reason he’s dropping clients and questioning the meaning of his lawyer existence.

 

Constance hasn’t died yet.  Adam and Sage have been to see a lawyer and make sure her will is in order, and talk about it in the park.  She has on too much makeup, but I really love her handbag.  Sage swears that she knew nothing about Newman Enterprises or the suicide.   She is glad for once that Adam is NOT Gabriel, because Gabe would never be able to make Victor suffer, while Adam is glad to do it.  Oh, it will be his pleasure all right. 

 

She asks if anyone’s ever stood up to Victor before?  Many have tried and failed, he admits…including himself.  He has to just imply that part because it’s too hard to say.  Still, he knows Victor’s weaknesses, and this time, he’ll never see him coming!  Seems like Colin messed things up for him pretty badly, and that was by accident.

 

Adam notes that Gabriel will be inheriting most of Constance’s estate.  Isn’t Sage pissed that she’s not getting more from her?  After wasting her life taking care of that old lady?  Sage gets pissed at Adam instead, and they argue.  She reminds him he’s nothing without her, and she can turn him in at any time.  She’s all he’s got.  “Don’t threaten me,” he warns.  He tells her people who think they hold all the power often overestimate their importance!  He gruffly tells her to find her own ride home, because he’s taking the car!  He stalks off, because he’s SUCH a jerk, leaving Sage almost in tears. 

 

His bigger jerk of a brother comes along right now, and goes instant caveman because some guy was bothering poor Sage.  Please, tell him what’s wrong!  He says he’s a good at both listening and pretending to listen.  Nick is super supportive of damsels in distress, until he’s not.  Hopefully, he’ll just pretend to listen, since he could blow their whole plan.

 

Sage knows she shouldn’t talk to Nick, but it’s pretty much Adam’s fault.  She’s in a lot of pain because Constance is dying, and he doesn’t care and won’t even give her a ride home.  So she’s pretty desperate for some moral support, and Nick offers to buy her hot chocolate.  With marshmallows.  So, she tells him her guardian is dying.  Her parents are dead, and this woman took care of her.  Nick feels like a clod for some of his earlier comments, but she doesn’t mind.  She’s kind of weepy about how Constance cared for her, and was sort of a mother to her, but then again, there was barrier she could never cross.  Blood is thicker than water. 

 

So who was that mean guy she was arguing with?!  Sage says it’s okay.  The dying woman is his grandmother, and he’s just on edge dealing with his own, um, grief.  Well, Nick doesn’t like it anyway.  He starts to leave, but she gets The Call.  OH, NO! This is it. Constance is going to die.  She tries calling mean, old Gabe, but can’t reach him.  Nick thinks she shouldn’t be alone, of course!  He offers to drive her, and she accepts!  Well, this should turn out great.

 

Sage can’t reach Adam because he went to see Jack, since she wounded him again with her “I’m all you’ve got” comments.  So, is Jack going to help him or not?  Jack’s agitated.  He’s thought about all this, and he can’t help Adam.  He’s going to turn him in!  Adam’s like slow your roll, Jack.  Once you call a guy to get rid of a dead hooker, you pretty much owe him for life.  Did he call BILLY for help with that little problem??  Of course not!  Billy is the guy who makes calls like that, not the guy you call.  ADAM is the guy you call.  And Adam stood by his side to the bitter end.  All he wants is for Jack to introduce him to society as Gabriel Bingham, and then he can cut ties to him if he wants to.  Also, don’t send him to prison.

 

Well, Jack can’t do it.  Delia was his niece, and the bro code be damned.  Dead hooker or not, Jack is CALLING THE POLICE!  Adam stares at him like, okay, if we aren’t following the bro code anymore, how about I throw YOU on that pile of dead hookers.  He’s got an ace up his shirt, though.  If Adam goes to prison, then BILLY GOES, TOO!  He yanks up his shirt and shows Jack the bullet hole scar.  “BILLY SHOT ME, JACK!”  THAT’s what caused the “accident.”  Jack stares in disbelief.  I guess Adam doesn’t know that Austin shot the POLICE CHIEF and ended up with a free penthouse.  Billy will probably get a ticker tape parade for shooting Adam.

 

Victor informs his worthless spy that he stole a formula for tequila.  So Victor knows Ashley is punking him, because that’s his drink of choice.  But he wants Tobias to keep acting like everything is okay and just “act like an idiot.”  That ought to be easy enough for him.

 

Ashley finally gets out of the lab and runs into Joe Clark at the club.  They stare.  They smolder.  She asks if he’s checking her out.  He says when he sees a beautiful woman like her he can’t help himself.  “Joe Clark,” she grins.  “Ashley Abbott,” he smiles back.  OF COURSE these two beautiful people know each other!  They even dated.  Finally, Joe looks like he matches with someone.  And since they’re both single, why not go out on New Year’s Eve?!  It’s a date!  Avery sees them from the lobby.  She doesn’t seem to like it.  Well, I do.

[Desperately Random]

Great peachcap! Loved it all but my fave parts
 

My gift to myself was “fast forward” like all you lucky people get to do.  ;D

The residents of fair Genoa City spent a lot of time visiting each other and talking about how amazing and miraculous and lucky they all are, if “amazing” means self-satisfied and boring.  They are all the luckiest, amazingest people on earth.  Except for Adam.  He does not feel amazing or lucky just yet, although he does continue to look amazing.

The Dumbest Miracle EVER:
IT’S A FRIGGIN’ CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!!!!!!  WE CAN DRINK COFFEE DURING A 15 MIN POWER OUTAGE!!!!

Peach, thanks for watching that so now I don't have to subject myself to the amazing miracle of St. Plywood. I'm surprised they didn't have everyone look out the window and see the North star over CL.

I think the whole rabbit babysitting nonsense would have had me rolling my eyes so hard I would have sprained my ocular muscles. So thanks again for sparing me that.

I've only had time to see a few episodes since I started watching again and I have yet to see Joe Superman! Of course I've seen fauxBilly three times. Lucky me, right?

Hope everyone had a great Christmas.

[movinon]

 

 

Jack stares in disbelief.  I guess Adam doesn’t know that Austin shot the POLICE CHIEF and ended up with a free penthouse.  Billy will probably get a ticker tape parade for shooting Adam.

 

This probably sums up the moral code in GC, which died with John Abbott.  Great catch-up recap, Peach, but I'm sorry you FF'd Michael, Lauren, and Fen's cancer song and dance.  You will never know how much idiocy and bad taste you missed in a short segment.  It seemed to take 4 minutes of screen time.  

[peach]

Peach, thanks for watching that so now I don't have to subject myself to the amazing miracle of St. Plywood. I'm surprised they didn't have everyone look out the window and see the North star over CL.

.

 

No kidding.  I forgot to mention that CL is now the equivalent of Lourdes, what with the miracle and all, and Michael ordered their largest grande coffee so he can have some of the healing water.  Not even kidding.

This probably sums up the moral code in GC, which died with John Abbott.  Great catch-up recap, Peach, but I'm sorry you FF'd Michael, Lauren, and Fen's cancer song and dance.  You will never know how much idiocy and bad taste you missed in a short segment.  It seemed to take 4 minutes of screen time.  

 

I just.coudn't.do it.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

This probably sums up the moral code in GC, which died with John Abbott.  Great catch-up recap, Peach, but I'm sorry you FF'd Michael, Lauren, and Fen's cancer song and dance.  You will never know how much idiocy and bad taste you missed in a short segment.  It seemed to take 4 minutes of screen time.  

 

It was indeed EMMY worthy!!

[peacheslatour]

Why does Private Plywood want to leave GC for a month at the height of the "Save CL" campaign?  How fucking stupid is he?  Who is gonna fix the constantly breaking espresso machine?  How easy will it be for TGVN and Joe Superman to swoop in and grab all of the things?

 

Hope everyone had a great holiday and spent it with the people they love.

 

Great peachcap!  (You really should check out the Happy Cancer Dance)

[Joimiaroxeu]

It’s not half as nice as the one Neil gave her

Sure about that? As cheap as Neil is, her wedding band probably came out of a Cracker Jack box.

 

How easy will it be for TGVN and Joe Superman to swoop in and grab all of the things?

And for Avery and Dylan to blame it on Michael since he was supposed to be keeping an eye on it instead of his medical problem that he hasn't told them about?

 

Edited December 28, 2014 by Joimiaroxeu

[Snaporaz]

Aww, peach, you missed the Baldwins singing cancer carols!

When you have to say "I'm not making this up" so many times, something is a bit off.

I had the same reaction to the Faith switch, but someone in the other forum said it is only for a few episodes.

Editing to say ooops...I missed the last couple of posts and echoed some comments...stupid tablet...

Edited December 28, 2014 by Snaporaz

[NinjaPenguins]

I must also implore peach to scope out the Baldwin Family Cancer Follies. It's not as epic as Phyllis losing the blueberry while Daisy walked away, but you get the same heady whiff of second hand embarassment watching it.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I must also implore peach to scope out the Baldwin Family Cancer Follies. It's not as epic as Phyllis losing the blueberry while Daisy walked away, but you get the same heady whiff of second hand embarassment watching it.

 

Damn what did I miss with that Daisy scene????  I know it's a long time ago.  Is there a youtube link?

[peach]

Okay, I watched Michael's bizarre Christmas dinner, and it made me think of a Mad Hatter tea party.  Cancer induced mania.  But at least Michael can finally say he has cancer.  Unless he's talking to his LAW PARTNER. I mean, why tell her?
 

I also skipped over a scene where Dylan gave Nikki a gift of his childhood photos, which was really sweet.  Then he said, Merry Christmas, Mom. 

 

Also Courtney made an appearance with Noah, so I guess she's still on the show.

[crosby777]

 

Could that be because she refused to get the paternity test?  Gods, I can't stand her.  Someone in the episode thread called this a passive-agressive move, and that's pretty spot-on.  Whenever someone compares her or Nick to Victor, they both get offended and act like they need to get out the smelling salts.  But they're almost exactly like him, only Victor owns his shit.

A FUCKING MEN>.. Cannot stand either of the terrible two. Vic owns his shit totally and those 2 flakes never own their shit.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

 

Nikki has returned from wherever she went, and looks very refreshed and lovely.

 

She went to the hospital and was really ill and they were lining someone else up to take the part of Nikki!  I am sure you missed it.  

[Suby]

That was awful what MTS went through.  I wonder when the Christmas scenes were shot because she did look very nice.  She always looks so much better dressed casually. 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

MTS said many scenes were taped out of sequence.  She looks so much better!

[NinjaPenguins]

Phyllis and the blueberry of doom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kY7k-VACAM&feature=player_detailpage.

 

The only vid I could find includes a parody along with the original sin.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

OMG hilarious!!!  Thanks NinjaPenguins!!!  

[NinjaPenguins]

You may thank me now, but when the primal screams of Phyllis haunt your dreams, you'll be plotting your revenge.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I am already regretting that second view......LOL

[Suby]

Now THAT's a recap lol!  Ah all behold the blueberry HAM.

[peach]

I must also implore peach to scope out the Baldwin Family Cancer Follies. It's not as epic as Phyllis losing the blueberry while Daisy walked away, but you get the same heady whiff of second hand embarassment watching it.

 

Well, you can see why she and Michael are friends.  AAAHHHH!!!!!

I didn't realize that there were so many episodes last week.  .

Neither did I!  I was like, holy crap, this is on EVERY DAY??  Thanksgiving was a short week, and I sort of figured Christmas would be too, with football or something.  So I just did a fast scan.  Too fast, apparently, but they were giving me a headache.

  "I wonder if they're planning on hooking up GT Phyllis with JT Hot-Dam."

 

Lord, I hope not.  That would be weird. And I know they are all over the place with some of the history lessons they're giving, but I just don't have time to pick it ALL apart, lol.

 

Anyway, the only one who should hook up with Adam is me.  ha. 

[kia112]

Well CE Adam was smelling Phyllis's scrunchie back in the day, so who knows.

[peach]

I forgot to mention that in Friday's episode, that Nick was OUTRAGED to find out the judge ordered Shick to go to mediation.  "She can do that???"  Yes, Nick, judges can do things besides give in to your childish demands, like full custody from someone who is willing to share custody and who also LIVES ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY from you. 

[smartyshorts]

Peach I applaud and nearly worship at your alter for all that you do. My New Years wish for you is a week of Winters shenanigans so that you can FF all of it (if not just delete) in good conscience we would all cheer you on so you could have some peaceful time for yourself. Happy new year everyone!

)

[peach]

Mon, Dec 29   And Bingo Was His Name-O

 

Billy and Chelsea make out at Crimson Lights.

 

“If you go to prison, Billy goes with you?” Jack questions Adam.  That doesn’t make any sense.  He didn’t kill Delia!  Is Adam going to show us his V line again?  HE IS!  Billy shot him, Jack!

 

Sage thanks Nick for driving her to the club.  It was the least he could do.  As usual.  Victoria comes along with the baby.  She was at Mommy and Me Yoga.  With a 2 week old infant.  During cold and flu season.  Nick is all excited to introduce Sage.  “She’s The One Who Saved Me!”  Victoria’s impressed that she does exist.  “I think my brother was almost convinced you were just a dream.”  Sage bashfully smiles since no one’s been nice to her for over a year.

 

Devon tells Lily they need to load the bar up with rare and exotic vintages because people like to have something special on New Year’s Eve.  Get on that, Lily, you have a day.  She knows, and the waiting list for NYE is INSANE!  Is he bringing Gwen?  He’s not sure.   Omg, why NOT, Devon?  If you can’t bring your beard on NYE, when CAN you bring her?

 

Hilary gazes at her consequences ring.  Neil interrupts her so she has to stash it, QUICK!  He caaaan’t see you, Hilary.  Phyllis stops by.  She and Hilary have some business to deal with.  It doesn’t sound good.

 

Stitch visits Kelly at the club.  She’s in a pretty good mood considering she got dumped for the holidays.  Stitch says it was a crazy good Christmas.  Vicky called Jenna and told her Stitch isn’t a killer.   Kelly thinks it’s so great that Victoria could undo the damage Kelly caused.  What a gift!  Stitch says HE was the one keeping the secret, so it wasn’t her fault.  The best part was talking to Max.  “Oh, you got to hear your son’s voice on such a special day!”  She tries to sound happy. 

 

Stitch knows it’s hard for her.  So how was HER Christmas that she spent alone and grieving her child and ex-boyfriend?  Nice of you to think of her NOW, Mr. Snowflake.  She hasn’t really done Christmas since Sam died. She had drinks with friends, other single people.  That’s about it.  “It wasn’t the Christmas you expected, was it?”  Nope.  This was supposed to be the year that she stopped dreading it.  Instead, she got some Phyllis shaped coal.  But it’s over, and now she just has to get through New Year’s, she says, but with a smile. 

 

Seriously, Victoria thought Nick was making Sage up.  That makes him sound super appealing.  No, she’s very real.  Vicky thanks her for helping her brother.   Sage was just happy to help.  Blah blah.  She really needs to go find her asshole friend.  Vicky’s phone beeps, and she complains about how the Lord Of The Universe really loves to text.  Nick, Son of God, explains that Victoria is their father’s right hand at Newman-Chancellor.  You know, that guy that killed off Gabriel’s dad? 

 

“Just two more wheels in the cog of the machine.  That’s Katie and me,” says Victoria.  She leaves, while Nick calls out, “Don’t let him brainwash ya, Katie!!”  What a fun family.   Nick tells Sage to go check on her friend, and he’ll wait downstairs for her.  Ummm, she can take care of herself now, kthanxbye!  Waaait, orders Nick.  She’s really imprinted on him now.  “I know what’s going on here,” he says.   Sage stares.

 

Billy and Chelsea discuss NYE.  He fiddles with his ring finger.  He’s GOT to get rid of that tattoo.  She’s like why are you making a face about it today?  Um..it’s his ex-wedding anniversary.  Ohhh.  Was that the reason for the public make out session earlier?  What?  Billy doesn’t need a reason.  But now Chelsea remembers that NYE is also when Victor sent her to Billy…to break him up from Victoria with the news that she was pregnant.  It’s a banner day!  Chelsea cringes from the memory.  “Hey!” says Billy, “that’s a helluva kid, that Johnny Abbott.”  He’s forgiven her for all of that.  That was a different time.  And a different Billy.  NYE is slate wiping time!  Chelsea still looks guilty and sad.

 

“You tell anyone I’m alive,” says Adam, “and Billy goes to prison for attempted murder.”  Jack’s pissed.  “You sonofa--  That was your plan??  To BLACKMAIL me?!”  Adam says there WAS NO plan.  Clearly!  Jack was the only one he could come to!  Who was he supposed to turn to, VICTOR?  Jack was the only one, and Adam TRUSTED him!  “But apparently, I overestimated our friendship, hooker killer.  So if I can’t count on you to protect me, then I have to count on you to protect Billy!”  IF things happened that way, says Jack.  Adam has a SCAR to prove it!  Who cares, any judge would understand it.  An aggrieved father, temporary…insanity!  Oh yeah, judges LOVE when people take the law into their own hands. 

 

“Temporary insanity?” says Adam.  He tells Jack how Billy showed up at his house and kidnapped him at gunpoint.  He dragged Adam in the woods, waved that gun in his face, forced a confession.  And when he got all the info he wanted, he shot him in the car.   It was premeditated!  He wanted to make Adam pay!  Well, Jack isn’t going to take ADAM’S word for it.  Then ask Billy!  Ask him how he came home safe and Adam didn’t.

 

You know Jack knows it’s true.  “You TOOK his daughter, Adam!  And now you’re threatening to put him in prison!  This is the kind of man you are now?”  What kind of man did you think he was before, Jack?  The kind that gaslighted your sister?  Plus I don’t think I’d be very forgiving after the kidnapping/shooting/exploding/drowning incident, myself.  “I’m a DESPERATE man, that’s what I am now!”  He was trapped in that bed for year, bandaged like mummy in someone else’s life.

 

He just wants to come back and have peace in his life again!  “This way I can live my life as something other than Victor Newman’s son!”   Play that Victor Newman card, Adam, PLAY IT!  Jack’s already getting soft.  “Do you have ANY idea what a chance like that means to me??  And I would think, that you of ALL PEOPLE, you would want that for me!”   Jack’s cognitive dissonance is kicking in.  “Adam..you’re dead.  Chelsea’s moved on with Billy.  She loves him.”  Does he get what he’s asking?  He wants Billy’s woman now.  How is Jack supposed to do that to his brother?! 

 

Adam says Billy will have his freedom, which is better than prison.  He doesn’t NEED Chelsea.  “How DARE YOU decide what my brother DOES and DOESN’T need!”  Puh-leeze.  Billy wants Victoria! Duh! Adam’s been gone for a year, and even HE knows that.  And Chelsea wants Adam!  “You’re DEAD!  And Chelsea’s moved on!” says Jack.  Omg, Jack, Phyllis came back and you threw Kelly away like a used Kleenex.  But Jack wants to know how Adam thinks he knows how Billy and Chelsea are anyway?  How long as he been lurking in the shadows??  Quite a long time, actually.  Long enough to know Billy’s trying to replace his wife and son with ADAM’S wife and son.  Jack says after what Adam put Billy through, he has no right to be jealous!  Okay.  That’s a new rule, I guess.  If you kill someone’s kid by accident, they get your family? 

 

“Chelsea loves me, Jack.  And that’s not goin’ anywhere.”  Sure, maybe Billy’s okay for now, he keeps her from being lonely.  “But I’m not out of her mind, not for one second.  And Victoria’s not out of Billy’s addled brain, either.  We both know that.”  Let Billy go fix the relationship he’s supposed to be in!  Jack says Adam has no choice in this.  “You’re DEAD, Adam!  You don’t exist!  You don’t even have a vote.”  Oh, yeah?!  “I DO have a vote. I AM the vote!  And I just told you--!”  Oh, that he’s gonna blackmail him?! 

 

“Jack, I need Chelsea like I can’t even explain to you!” he says desperately.  See, Adam can’t explain it, either.  But he’s gonna do whatever it takes to get her back.  WHATEVER IT TAKES!  Just like Jack would do for Phyllis!  “Phyllis is innocent!  You’re not!”  Remember when Phyllis TRIED to murder someone with a car?  Also, Phyllis is the Chelsea part of the analogy, not the Adam part, so that makes no sense.  But this is all very confusing to Jack right now.  Adam says Billy’s not innocent, either.  “Give me my freedom.  Let Billy keep his….  Let me be with Chelsea.  My one chance.”

 

Nick tooootally gets it.  He can see it in Sage’s eyes.  She SOMEHOW figured how WHO his dad is after all that strategically dropped Newman-Chancellor talk.  Gosh, Nick hates when that happens.  He says it can be a curse and a blessing.  It’s definitely a curse for everyone else.  Especially Gabe’s dad.  Sage wasn’t thinking that at all.  She already knew, dumbass, she doesn’t live under a rock!  Even if she did save him in the woods.  Ha…ha. 

 

Nick just wants her to know he’s nothing like him, cough*bullshit*cough, but he does happen to be fabulously wealthy.  Just sayin’.  So saving him was not a bad idea.  Sage says she even would have saved Victor Newman from a bear trap, because SAGE is nice, and YOU were just some random guy passed out in a bear trap.  “I know he gets bad press, but he seems like a decent guy,” says Sage ever so sweetly.  Oh, Sage, more clever than I thought.  Giggle, banter, flirt. 

 

Nick inserts himself even more inappropriately into her DYING GRANDMOTHER situation.  He thinks maybe her friend just went ahead and left.  Sage is like, um, nooo, he would never go without her.  Yeah, but he didn’t WANT to go with her, reminds Nick.  So it seems to him like this all means more to her than it does to some TOTAL STRANGER HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT, WHOSE GRANDMA IS DYING.  But please, share more of your insights with us.

 

Devon tells Lily that Gwen has her own life, okay.  He’s not even sure if she’s going to be in town.  Or what her phone number is.  So why can’t Lily just let it go!!!  “For someone who’s so blissfully happy with his girlfriend, you sure are crabby all the time.”  Devon IS NOT crabby.  IS TOO!   “You’re in love with Cane.  Is that sunshine and roses all the time??”  Um, where have you been?  It’s sunshine and roses three times a day on her desk.  Lily’s just worried about Dad, and wants him to see all of them happy.  Yeah, yeah, Devon’s worried too, okay. He gets that he’s selfish, okay.   “Being happy isn’t being selfish,” frowns Lily.  It is when you’re Devon. 

 

Neil wants to know what Phyllis wants with his wife?  He seems to hope it’s naughty.  Phyllis needs Hilary's powers of creative thinking and deception. HA!  Hilary’s like, uhhh, deception?  Phyllis wants to surprise Jack with something big and romantic, and Hilary is keeper of the gate!  In charge of Jack’s schedule!  Hilary would LOVE to print out Jack’s schedule. Whew!  Phyllis likes her!  But she needs more help from Neil.

 

Adam’s emotional.  He had months to think in that hospital bed, about all the time he wasted in his life, mostly on plots and schemes that didn’t matter.  He’d give anything to have that time back with Chelsea.  But Billy is worse.  He’s wasting precious seconds with Chelsea.  The sooner Jack can get him away from her…  Jack says Billy and Victoria are apart for a reason.  Their marriage didn’t work.  Victoria’s with someone else!  For like two days.  Billy can’t just slip back into her life like nothing happened!   “Well, he can try.”  Exactly.  If Billy was left alone for 15 minutes, he’d be winning Vicky back like a house on fire.

 

Adam says that’s the beauty of it.  Billy can still try!  And it will WORK, because They Are Meant To Be Together.  Just like Chelsea and Adam.  “What about Chelsea?” says Jack.  “She’s happy!”  Oh, GEEZ, don’t say that, Jack!  You don’t have a nanny cam!  She is NOT HAPPY.  She just GETS THROUGH THE DAYS!  “You’re wrong,” says Jack.  NO.  Adam KNOWS her.  He knows her like nobody else does.  And she knows HIM like nobody else does. 

 

“Adam, you’re dead,” Jack says for the umpteenth time, to alive Adam.  “She’s grieved for you, she’s moved ON.”   He would have to woo her as Gabriel and that’s not gonna happen! Adam laughs.  Does Jack think Chelsea was with him for his name?  For his bank account?  Oh, you knave, all of those things that made them so wonderful together are still there!  Those things.  And stuff. 

 

“And you’re willing to destroy all these lives for some delusion?” asks Jack.  Exaggerate much?  “DELUSION?” says Adam.  “What are you talking about, delusion?!”  Did Jack stop loving Phyllis when she went sleepy bye?  “If Phyllis had not come back, I would be with someone else.  And I would be HAPPY!”  Not the same kind of happy, okay, but he would have moved on.  Yeah, and she came back and you dropkicked Kelly out the back door, so Phyllis wouldn’t see her. 

 

Adam says he can say that in theory.  NO, in FACT.  There WAS someone else!  Mmm hmm.  Where is she now?  Jack’s mouth flaps.  Oh, that’s right.  “You chose PHYLLIS.  And it wasn’t really a choice at all, was it?  The minute that woman walked back in the door, it was over.”  Some loves are meant to last, Jack, and some just aren’t.  Give Billy that chance.  Keep him out of prison.  

 

Jack frowns.  So they’re back to the blackmail again, huh?  Adam doesn’t WANT to blackmail him!  He came to him because he needed a friend, and Sage said he didn’t have any!  “I didn’t have to tell you anything, did I?”  He could have just come back as Gabriel Bingham, done business, built up trust with him…but he didn’t.  He told him the truth!  Because… he wanted him to be happy Adam was back.  Waah. 

 

Jack gets kind of teary eyed.  “Okay,” he says quietly.  “I’ll help you.  For Billy’s sake.”  UNDER ONE CONDITION.  “You look me in the eye and swear to me, the old Adam is dead!  All the old grudges, all the dissatisfaction, all the excuses, all the anger, GONE!!”  Says the guy with a grudge against Victor longer than Adam’s life.  If he really feels remorse about Delia’s death, then BE BETTER.  DO better.  Be the man Adam Newman never had a chance to be!

 

“I swear to you, Jack.  I swear.”  I will be taking revenge as Gabriel Bingham now.  There is plenty of revenge to go around.

 

Billy came by Victoria’s and helps her build some baby toy.   Blaaaah blah.  NYE plans for all the people with all the babies.  Billy admits he got distracted from making his plans.  Ohhh, says Victoria, our wedding anniversary?   Like she didn’t know.

 

Phyllis is trying to get Neil to fill her in so she’s not behind the curve.  For instance, when the hell did Chelsea Lawson become a fashion design star??  Neil thinks she could do this on her own.  She doesn’t need him.  “Neil, I can’t show weakness!  Or I’m back in Victim Town!”  Oh, he hears that.  So help make her look good!  Blah blah. 

 

She says she and Jack are putting the past in the past.  Neil’s hearing a load of bull.  He thinks she’s gotta be a little angry.  “I’m fine,” says Phyllis.  No, you’re pissed, says Neil.  “Pissed IS fine for me.”  LOL  Okay, good.  Neil deserves to be sued or something for telling PHYLLIS, “BE angry!  Don’t let it get in your way.  Keep moving forward.  Don’t just fight for what you believe in, GET IT!”  Hmm, Phyllis thinks he went to see that miracle doctor.  Or maybe, he’s been drinking the water at Crimson Lights.

 

Lily asks Devon why he feels guilty.  Because he’s just not the son Neil needs him to be.  That is SO not true!  Devon admits he’s been too caught up in his own mess to even know what’s going on with Neil.  Lily says Dad’s first instinct is always to protect them!  “And who’s protecting Dad” from me?  “Hilary!” says Lily.  “He trusts her.  She provides him with love and support.  And I know for a fact, that if he didn’t have Hilary, he wouldn’t have just THOUGHT about drinking.”  Devon looks sad.  Now HE’S thinking about drinking.

 

Sage tells Nick she really can’t explain her friend, you know how it is.  She nervously country club laughs.  Nick wishes her luck, and she runs upstairs.  He’s looking at his phone, and Adam walks in!  Nick sees him and frowns.  “Bingham!”  Bingham turns around in surprise.  What are the odds?  Oh, well, at least Bingham can pretend he knows Newman.  Ya old douchebag, how ya been?!

 

“I know you!” says Nick.  Gabe doesn’t think so.  “Dude!  It’s Nick Newman!  I was your big brother at Mount Belle Academy.”  Funny, how I NEVER KNEW you lived in a castle right outside of my home town in Wisconsin!!  “You’re Gabriel Bingham!  Bingo!  The Binger!”  I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP.  Ole Gabe’s laughing off those old years, they’re a blur, amirite?  Nick knows!  He was a couple years ahead of him, and they assigned Bingo to him to show him the ropes.  “Yet, I survived anyway, huh?”  Haha.  I could watch this all day, but Sage is coming back downstairs since she didn’t find…uh-oh.  Nick’s like, whoa.  “Do you two know each other??”  Sage is like ugggh.  Adam just looks like, of course. OF COURSE NICK WOULD FUCK THIS UP FOR ME 30 YEARS IN ADVANCE!

 

Billy and Victoria reminisce about gutter love and wedding arrests.  And those tattoo rings.  “I guess we thought if our rings were permanent…we would be, too,” Billy says sadly.  They stare.  It gets broken up by Katie crying.  Vicky looks crushed.

 

Stitch and Kelly are at Crimson Lights now.  He apologizes for not checking in with her on Christmas.  She’s like don’t be silly.  He should spend every second he can with Victoria making up for lost time.   “What about what you deserve?”  He’s told her before, she’s tough.  She should take some time, and do whatever she has to to come out on the other side.  “You’re a good brother, Ben.  I’m glad you’re mine.”  Even though you couldn’t even text me on Christmas.  She leaves. 

 

Stitch sees Chelsea and tells her he owes her for getting Jeff to drop his BS lawsuit.  “My father’s easily influenced,” she says.  Okay, it cost her a lot, but it all worked out in the end.  He knows she didn’t do it just for him, but thanks.  Chelsea says if you would have told her back when he was painting Dylan’s loft, that they’d both end up here…  “You mean you with Billy, and me with Victoria?”  “No…I mean knowing we’re both such cons.”

 

Neil confides in Phyllis that he’s in an experimental treatment program.  THAT’S GREAT.  But SHHHH!  It’s a secret.  He whispers there was something else!  On Christmas he saw light and shadow!  Phyllis goes all Elaine Benes.  GET OUT!!  SHHH!!!!, Phyllis!  She says this is kinda huge.  He should tell his wife!  No, he doesn’t want to get her hopes up yet.  Or maybe he doesn’t want to get his OWN hopes up.  She thinks maybe HOPE is what is getting ball rolling.  He can’t wait to see his wife’s beautiful face again.  Hopefully not attached to Devon’s.

 

Hilary comes back.  Phyllis says she was just getting advice on how to run the fashion division but don’t tell anyone.  And mum’s the word on her plans for Jack.  Hilary would never get in the way of a big romantic surprise!  “Spoken like a woman in love,” says Phyllis.  Hilary’s like…yeah.  She leaves.  Neil agrees that Hilary DOES sound like a woman in love.  He promises that next year won’t be ANYTHING like this year.  She swears this is a good life.  He says they can make it better, and grow their family!  How about throwing away her birth control pills? 

 

Hilary looks horrified.  “Now??”   Well, they can talk about the pros and cons, so how does she feel about it?  Wait, let Neil answer that.  Wouldn't it be an incredible bonus to their relationship?  “Throw away those pills,” he whispers.  So she slowly walks to her purse like she’s walking to the guillotine, takes her pills out, and throws away…the case!  He hears the case hit the waste basket and guesses that’s a yes!  He’s smiling!  Hilary hugs him pathetically.  Her pills are alive and well on the desk.  Thank God. 

 

Devon decides to call Gwen and invite her to the NYE party.  But he’s not very excited about it.

 

Sooo, Gabriel’s the friend Sage has been looking for.  Nick’s really sorry about Grandma.  Guess they should get going.  Nick offers him his card.  Give him a call when things settle down, dude.  Yeah, sounds great.   “See ya, Bingo!”  Adam chuckles.  Yeah, hasn’t heard that in a while.  Douche.  They grin until Nick leaves.  Their faces fall.  “Nice of you to come back,“ sneers Sage.

 

Jack’s sitting at his desk looking at Gabe’s card.  "So who’s this Bingham guy?," asks Phyllis.  Friend or foe?  Just an old business associate.  Phyllis senses Jack’s not jazzed about him.  He says he made a deal with him, but he’s wary.  Phyllis thinks that’s not like him.  He’s usually sure of himself.  What kind of head games did this guy play to get a yes out of him?

 

Adam tells Sage that apparently, her buddy Nick went to boarding school with Gabriel.  How was she supposed to know that?  She didn’t tag along with him at his private boys school.  Well, now Nick is going to know things about Gabe that Sage can’t possibly clue him in on.  Then look through the yearbook, she snaps.  They have to get back to the castle!  Constance needs him!  Yeah, no.  He’s not doing that.  Would he rather have Nick come back and see him?  She didn’t think so.  “Stop complaining!  Let’s go,” she says, popping him on the shoulder. 

 

Adam takes one more peek around the corner at Nick at the bar before he follows Sage out.  Nick IS looking at the old yearbook on his tablet.  There he is!  Gabriel “Bingo” Bingham.  “You haven’t changed a bit,” he says.  Well, maybe a bit.  Nick suddenly flashes back to his bear trap delirium with Adam standing over him.  “You,” he mumbles.  “It WAS you,” Nick tells himself.  “Why’d you take off?”  Maybe Bingo never liked you, Nickmeister.

 

Chelsea tells Stitch he told a lie when he was 16 that changed his whole life.  There were many chances he could have told the truth, but he never caved.  THAT’S the long con.  “It’s exhausting, isn’t it?” says Chelsea.  She has no idea.  To finally let that go is huge.  “To be with somebody that really knows you, the real you, changes everything.  That’s how I feel about Billy.”  Au contraire, it’s how you feel about Adam.  He just told us all about it.  Sure, she says Billy was on the receiving end of some of her worst lies, but now he loves her, all of her.  And now Victoria has a chance to love all of Stitch.  “We both got lucky,” says Stitch.  “And now we’re going to be in each other’s lives no matter what.  So maybe we better start getting along.”  Chelsea says no reason not to.  They both got what they wanted.  “So, my point is, let’s not screw it up!”  No way in hell, says Stitch all intense like.

 

Meanwhile, Billy and Victoria bond over Katie Abbott Newman and memories of DeeDee.  “We made it so far, Vick.  It was us against the world, and we conquered it.  And then we lost Dee…why couldn’t we survive that?”  Because YOU SCREWED KELLY.  DUH!

 

Lily gives Kelly the guest list for NYE.  Omg.  “PHYLLIS AND JACK are coming?!  What is WRONG with those people??”  Lily says it IS kind of a local ritual.  Um, they’ve only been in business for a year.  “No, it’s not!” says Kelly.  “It’s an INSULT!  It’s a slap in the face!  It’s that Kelly’s so INSIGNIFICANT that we can just toast the New Year in front of her!”  Lily will completely understand if she wants the night off.  What??  No way!  Kelly says she shouldn’t have overreacted.  “I can do my job, and smile, and I’ll just have a big drink when it’s over.”  Kelly loves a big drink.  Lily says that’s a great plan.  Kelly promises it will be the most perfect evening of the year.

 

Jack doesn’t want to talk about business or deals, he wants to be celebrating.  Phyllis is all for that.  Jack is ready to say goodbye to 2014.  He thought they could take the jet and chase New Year’s from Nova Scotia to L.A.  Fun!  But Phyllis wants to go old school and local at the athletic club.  She already made reservations.  Jack’s like, uhhh, what happened to staying away from Kelly?  Well, that’s no fun.  Phyllis says it’s not about HER. 

 

This is Phyllis’ home, her town, her friends.  She wants to bask in Genoa City with her fiancé.  “Where people we know and love will be celebrating, and some people we DON’T love, so we deal with it like reasonable adults, and I assume you can trust me to deal with it!”  Jack grimaces for effect, but laughs and says OF COURSE he can trust her.  OF COURSE!  It will be a wonderful night, he says like the coward he is with Phyllis.  He holds her tight, but looks terrified, because he can trust her all right.  He can trust her to be a psychotic bitch.

[peach]

Peach I applaud and nearly worship at your alter for all that you do. My New Years wish for you is a week of Winters shenanigans so that you can FF all of it (if not just delete) in good conscience we would all cheer you on so you could have some peaceful time for yourself. Happy new year everyone!

)

Well, that's very sweet!  I will be going off the grid for a few days, actually, so Winters or no, they will have to wait. I'm headed for the wilderness.   I'll get to see all the sparkly dresses tomorrow, though!

[MollyB]

 

He holds her tight, but looks terrified, because he can trust her all right.  He can trust her to be a psychotic bitch.

I just got who Phyliss reminds me of - Joan Crawford, the Mildred Pierce years.  She's as cuddly as a barbed-wire teddy bear.  Really (mean)tough but everyone calls her "beautiful" and talented.  She just scares the victor out of me when she walks in a room. (Both Joan Crawford and Phyl).

Thanks again, Peach-you're spot on, as usual.  Have a wonderful time in the Wilderness and watch out for any illegal beartraps.

[peacheslatour]

 

I just got who Phyliss reminds me of - Joan Crawford, the Mildred Pierce years.

I saw Whatever Happened to Baby Jane yesterday on TCM.  She wasn't very scary in those days.  Lol.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Phyllis was pretty campy yesterday and I think she is headed more that way with the character than when she first came back from the coma.

 

The Robin Hood Maid Marion routine is getting old running back to the castle all the time!  And so Jack becomes Friar Tuck with a sneer.

 

Billy will continue to find "moments" with Vic and Kate again and again..so Chelsea and Ben better fasten their seat belts and get ready for a bumpy ride, this is just the beginning!  Billy actually having the nerve to say Ben had not been practicing medicine and was really not up to date was an utter joke for a low grade fever?? Maybe Kate picked that up in yoga.....2 weeks out and she is doing yoga. OK then...and where is Ben's backbone anyway??  

 

Neil just needs to go.

 

That dress sure showed off HK's rounded shoulders, poor posture and humungous boobs!

 

Speaking of humungous BOOOOOOBS.  Wow wow and more wow to Avery in yet another low cut dress with at least 4-5 inches of cleavage...are those girls for real?  Wardrobe must have fun dressing her and HK.  

 

Ashley looks great but she doesn't stand naturally anymore, she poses!  Every scene at the club was a pose.  

[peacheslatour]

Dresses I liked: Avery (especially with the up-do), Lily, Ashley

Dresses I hated: Chelsea (seriously, WTF?), Summer, Kelly

Edited December 30, 2014 by peacheslatour

[Snaporaz]

Yes, peach, I hope you enjoy going into the woods! And, yes, if you come across a moaning, giant-toothed douchenozzle caught in a rusty bear trap, just keep on hiking and let gangrene do its job. Happy 2015!

[movinon]

 

But now Chelsea remembers that NYE is also when Victor sent her to Billy…to break him up from Victoria with the news that she was pregnant.  It’s a banner day!  Chelsea cringes from the memory.  “Hey!” says Billy, “that’s a helluva kid, that Johnny Abbott.”  He’s forgiven her for all of that.  That was a different time.  And a different Billy.

I really hate to bring up DNA again, but did they ever check to make sure adorable little Johnny was really Billy's.  I FF so much of the show, I really don't remember there being a test.  Surely, with Chelsea's history, Victor would have checked - for his F-A-M-I-L-E-E-E.  On a totally different note, have a great time, Peach.  You deserve a break, but we will miss you.  Happy new year!