Sex And The City - General Discussion

[RealHousewife]

35 minutes ago, T Summer said:

Before Googling that I was about to say some things that no doubt have already been covered here:  Like Carrie would have been using her oven and not to store sweaters in but to feed herself between dates and that trips to the thrift store would have been THE way she came upon designer clothes  rather than done on an occasional lark ...

Thrifting in NYC must be really nice too . . . 

[Hiyo]

Quote

Up until Carrie needed to buy her apartment very little was said about her finances. 

And what little was said wasn't all that flattering (see the Amalita episode).

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, ifionlyknew said:

She also never backed up her files. I mean why would she?  It was only her job and livelihood on that computer.

It is so funny that you said that...I make my living on my computer. I make sure everything is safe and secure even if my computer (provided by my work) breaks down.

I would have probably been much more paranoid during Carrie's time because there was no "cloud". I would have probably had endless floppy discs of everything.

[T Summer]

1 hour ago, Jillybean said:

 

 

1 hour ago, Jillybean said:

Carrie would have had to take her column online. Carrie, who despite being a writer working remotely, apparently did not have internet access until 2001 ("Baby, Talk is Cheap"). 🤔

I also find it eyebrow-raising that the same Carrie who couldn't comprehend bisexuality in "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl" will apparently now be buddy-buddy with the non-binary, queer character played in the new show by Sara Ramirez. Admittedly two decades have passed, but still. 

I don't know anything about the new show. I remember a year or two ago running across discussions of who was onboard... notably not Kim Catrell, but then there was so much written about the why's and wherefores  and I never actually read what the new project would be.

I'm afraid to look into it and maybe get curious and watch. I wish I'd never seen the movies!

Edited June 28, 2021 by T Summer
removed double quote

[RealHousewife]

26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

It is so funny that you said that...I make my living on my computer. I make sure everything is safe and secure even if my computer (provided by my work) breaks down.

I would have probably been much more paranoid during Carrie's time because there was no "cloud". I would have probably had endless floppy discs of everything.

For sure. It's pretty consistent with Carrie though. She doesn't think like a responsible person. A responsible person backs up her work, doesn't spend all her hard-earned money on shoes, doesn't mess around with her married ex, especially while she's taken. Carrie never liked to think of consequences of her actions or inaction. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

3 hours ago, ifionlyknew said:

Are we really sure about that?  Even if a man wasn't paying her bills she liked what being with a man with money afforded her.  And she didn't seem bothered that Aidan bought her apartment and the one next door even though they weren't married yet. And was shocked when he wanted reimbursed.

Yeah.  Big, Aidan, and Aleks.  How often was Carrie attracted to unsuccessful guys?  Almost never.  Or, for the unsuccessful guys she saw them as fling material and nothing more.  I've made this argument before.  Even the person who was struggling with his own ideals of personal success, Berger, had a house in the Hamptons.  Mr. Big was nicknamed Mr. Big because of his power and status and that's it.  Everyone knew he was wealthy and powerful; Sam the PR expert said so in the pilot.

Stanford picked out Aidan for Carrie after seeing that he was a successful furniture designer and Carrie ate it up with a spoon.  

Edited June 28, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Scarlett45]

59 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

And what little was said wasn't all that flattering (see the Amalita episode).

Yeah. Carrie's attitude in the Amalita episode was odd. Amalita was a kept woman and was fine with it (having a network of men that funded her lifestyle, likely more stable than depending on one man), and yet Carrie was offended when the guy left her the cash, although she had a great time with him. I could see this confusion from a 19-21yrs old Carrie, not a 30 something Carrie.

[qtpye]

56 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Yeah.  Big, Aidan, and Aleks.  How often was Carrie attracted to unsuccessful guys?  Almost never.  Or, for the unsuccessful guys she saw them as fling material and nothing more.  I've made this argument before.  Even the person who was struggling with his own ideals of personal success, Berger, had a house in the Hamptons.  Mr. Big was nicknamed Mr. Big because of his power and status and that's it.  Everyone knew he was wealthy and powerful; Sam the PR expert said so in the pilot.

Stanford picked out Aidan for Carrie after seeing that he was a successful furniture designer and Carrie ate it up with a spoon.  

Probably the bigger question is why were all these successful wealthy men attracted to her and not the much more responsible Miranda or Charlotte or Samantha?

Samantha might have not been looking for relationships but Charlotte certainly was.

I know Charlotte ended up being married to two successful men (one from a wealthy family) but she did not seem to attract or seek out the mega-money Carrie did.

Aiden/Berger, even her less wealthy guys were very financially secure.

The show loved to paint Carrie as the carefree Bohemian who did not care about wealth or status but always seemed to attract the wealthiest guys on the show.

Sara Jessica Parker was on a short-lived (2 season) show called Divorce. In the second season of Divorce, she was dating another kazillionaire...so maybe it's just her thing?

Edited June 28, 2021 by qtpye

[RealHousewife]

23 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Yeah.  Big, Aidan, and Aleks.  How often was Carrie attracted to unsuccessful guys?  Almost never.  Or, for the unsuccessful guys she saw them as fling material and nothing more.  I've made this argument before.  Even the person who was struggling with his own ideals of personal success, Berger, had a house in the Hamptons.  Mr. Big was nicknamed Mr. Big because of his power and status and that's it.  Everyone knew he was wealthy and powerful; Sam the PR expert said so in the pilot.

Stanford picked out Aidan for Carrie after seeing that he was a successful furniture designer and Carrie ate it up with a spoon.  

Exactly. As Kanye might put it, I'm not saying Carrie was a gold digger, but she wasn't messing with anybody broke either.

That's another thing I found unrealistic. Carrie not only dated a ton, she somehow managed to attract successful, attractive men everywhere she went. I get that she is a cute lady with a killer figure. As someone who thinks SJP is more attractive than she's given credit for, this is still not real life. In real life, there are extremely beautiful women who don't date much. I have gorgeous friends where they're kind of in beauty and the beast looking sort of couples. My sister is a young pretty girl who's a doctor and with someone unemployed. The writers wanted us to believe Carrie repeatedly wound up in what looked like hypergamous situations by sheer luck. 

@qtpye Looks like we were thinking the same thing at the same time. Bright minds think alike! lol 

[Hiyo]

Quote

Yeah. Carrie's attitude in the Amalita episode was odd.

And that was one of the earlier indications she was living somewhat beyond her means. The scene in which we meet Amalita had Carrie at a store trying to buy shoes and her credit card was declined.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

That's another thing I found unrealistic. Carrie not only dated a ton, she somehow managed to attract successful, attractive men everywhere she went. I get that she is a cute lady with a killer figure. As someone who thinks SJP is more attractive than she's given credit for, this is still not real life. In real life, there are extremely beautiful women who don't date much. I have gorgeous friends where they're kind of in beauty and the beast looking sort of couples. My sister is a young pretty girl who's a doctor and with someone unemployed. The writers wanted us to believe Carrie repeatedly wound up in what looked like hypergamous situations by sheer luck. 

@qtpye Looks like we were thinking the same thing at the same time. Bright minds think alike! lol 

I think SJP is very attractive as well.

The idea that she would find men to date isn't really odd (its not until the 60s or so the heteronormative market place really starts to hurt women as so many men in their age bracket are too ill to purse new relationships, or dying off and screwing up the numbers)- and again its a tv show things are dramatic, but the notion that all these guys were super successful and well off when she wasn't even running those circles. Most of the time, well educated, attractive wealthy men, want well educated, attractive, wealthy women- maybe not AS wealthy as them, but not someone who has trouble to paying their credit card bill.

However, most of these guys didn't stick around- have you ever seen people (men or women) that are perfectly nice, attractive, educated, and you cannot figure out why they are single all the time and they don't want to be? I think that as you get older certain personality characteristics that were "charming" in your 20s, are signs to "run the other way" at 40. A guy may have thought Carrie was cute, but after a date or two he wasn't interested any more.

[RealHousewife]

4 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think SJP is very attractive as well.

The idea that she would find men to date isn't really odd (its not until the 60s or so the heteronormative market place really starts to hurt women as so many men in their age bracket are too ill to purse new relationships, or dying off and screwing up the numbers)- and again its a tv show things are dramatic, but the notion that all these guys were super successful and well off when she wasn't even running those circles. Most of the time, well educated, attractive wealthy men, want well educated, attractive, wealthy women- maybe not AS wealthy as them, but not someone who has trouble to paying their credit card bill.

However, most of these guys didn't stick around- have you ever seen people (men or women) that are perfectly nice, attractive, educated, and you cannot figure out why they are single all the time and they don't want to be? I think that as you get older certain personality characteristics that were "charming" in your 20s, are signs to "run the other way" at 40. A guy may have thought Carrie was cute, but after a date or two he wasn't interested any more.

Exactly. The other women were more likely to rub elbows with rich men. I don't doubt Carrie could easily find men to date. It's the quality of the men that she happened to date that wasn't reflective of real life. It makes sense for wealthy people to prefer fellow wealthy folks so they're not used. Women in general, especially those who want kids, like a man that can provide. That doesn't mean he has to be rich. It could be a guy who has a good paying job who's generous and likes being the breadwinner. You don't need someone Big rich to live a nice lifestyle. You do need to be Big money if you want to wear nothing but designer shoes.

For sure. An old friend of mine is a gorgeous girl. As pretty as she is, she always ends up being dumped. She doesn't date men who are out of her league either. They're average-looking guys who work regular jobs and are usually older than her and have already had kids. This girl is kind at heart, but she can be moody and desperate, kind of like Charlotte. That "pick me, pick me" vibe.

Edited June 29, 2021 by RealHousewife

[T Summer]

3 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Yeah.  Big, Aidan, and Aleks.  How often was Carrie attracted to unsuccessful guys?  Almost never.  Or, for the unsuccessful guys she saw them as fling material and nothing more.  I've made this argument before.  Even the person who was struggling with his own ideals of personal success, Berger, had a house in the Hamptons.  Mr. Big was nicknamed Mr. Big because of his power and status and that's it.  Everyone knew he was wealthy and powerful; Sam the PR expert said so in the pilot.

Stanford picked out Aidan for Carrie after seeing that he was a successful furniture designer and Carrie ate it up with a spoon.  

When I think about what man I  would have liked for Carrie... I really didn't care for any of them. I  find the actor Chris Noth very likeable, therefor I always felt he was woefully miscast as Big. I always see a nice guy when I look at him no matter what he's acting in. The character Big was a user who took up 10 of Carrie's years while giving her no assurances anything would come of it, knowing she was crazy in love with him... because he could. Being a 40 something  handsome rich  guy in NYC he wasn't going to give up any of his options  until he tired himself out. In real life his only motivation to settle down with one woman probably would have been to have children and a legacy. She had to see him date and even marry other women! Only in badly written fiction does this result in marrying a very wealthy man who affords you the lifestyle to which  you've always wanted to become accustomed, and all you have to do is move the pillows around! Not to mention such a person probably wouldn't have been as nice,  giving  and just generally decent as Big was depicted in practically every other scenario.

I never could see Carrie and Aiden together as they seemed to have nothing in common and Alex  appeared  to have so little regard for her as a person. Of course the writers hit us over the head with that in Paris, but even before when they were still in NYC she seemed to be twisting herself  in knots to be acceptable to him. He's done with New York, he doesn't want to be asked about his art... pul-ease!

 

 

[RealHousewife]

^ I'm the same about Big/Chris. Wasn't a big Big fan, but I do like Chris.

[LemonSoda]

12 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Thrifting in NYC must be really nice too . . . 

It is actually! And the resale shops can be really amazing. But I’ve always thought much like the original CB, Carrie had a lot of stuff gifted from designers/friends in the industry. Before Influencer culture, the gift boxes and such you see in all the unboxings and such as they went to magazine editors, friends, etc. 

About the dating, I thought that it was a carry over no pun intended from CB/columns too. She was out and about in the City every night at events and at all the hot spots so it was wealthy/famous/well connected men she was exposed to constantly. Barbers and Plumbers aren’t hanging out at the GQ Magazine party. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by LemonSoda
Edited to add

[Scarlett45]

On 6/28/2021 at 8:08 PM, T Summer said:

When I think about what man I  would have liked for Carrie... I really didn't care for any of them. I  find the actor Chris Noth very likeable, therefor I always felt he was woefully miscast as Big. I always see a nice guy when I look at him no matter what he's acting in. The character Big was a user who took up 10 of Carrie's years while giving her no assurances anything would come of it, knowing she was crazy in love with him... because he could. Being a 40 something  handsome rich  guy in NYC he wasn't going to give up any of his options  until he tired himself out. In real life his only motivation to settle down with one woman probably would have been to have children and a legacy. She had to see him date and even marry other women! Only in badly written fiction does this result in marrying a very wealthy man who affords you the lifestyle to which  you've always wanted to become accustomed, and all you have to do is move the pillows around! Not to mention such a person probably wouldn't have been as nice,  giving  and just generally decent as Big was depicted in practically every other scenario.

I never could see Carrie and Aiden together as they seemed to have nothing in common and Alex  appeared  to have so little regard for her as a person. Of course the writers hit us over the head with that in Paris, but even before when they were still in NYC she seemed to be twisting herself  in knots to be acceptable to him. He's done with New York, he doesn't want to be asked about his art... pul-ease!

 

 

This is a very interesting assessment. 

As far as "Big types" in real life- many of them finally settle down when they no longer have the energy to pursue women any more, but would like some company and partnered sex. I dont think Big ever wanted children, and for "Big types", they may marry in their 50s when they are just too tired to "hunt" for women any more, and are thinking about their mortality and comfort in their older years. If they never had bio children, they may want someone to look out for them if they become ill/disabled (not financially but practically). So Big finally marrying Carrie actually made sense to me, he was older and tired and she was there- he enjoyed her company well enough and it was clear she wasn't going to demand much after all these years besides material comfort (which he was able to give).

Yeah I dont know how Carrie and Aidan ended up together- maybe a case of "attraction should lead to love"? I think Carrie was vulnerable after Big married Natasha and Aidan WAS nice to her, and considerate and paid attention to her emotional well being. Even after the affair with Big, and she wanted him back, it wasn't because she actually wanted him, her behind was lonely. Aidan may have had a "Cap't Save a Wounded Bird" complex and he saw Carrie was vulnerable, in addition to being attracted to her. I also think he fell into a trope a lot of people fall into "If I am a good partner then they will love me the way I want to be loved."When their intentions or "goodness" is only one part of the equation.

 

As far as Alex, no he had no regard for Carrie as a person, she was an piece of entertainment and fulfilled a need for him- but at least he was clear about that from jump street. This was his life, she could come if she wanted (and he would pay) OR she could not, and he would find someone else to keep him company. The only woman Alex probably had any regard for was his daughter.

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, LemonSoda said:

It is actually! And the resale shops can be really amazing. But I’ve always thought much like the original CB, Carrie had a lot of stuff gifted from designers/friends in the industry. Before Influencer culture, the gift boxes and such you see in all the unboxings and such as they went to magazine editors, friends, etc. 

About the dating, I thought that it was a carry over no pun intended from CB/columns too. She was out and about in the City every night at events and at all the hot spots so it was wealthy/famous/well connected men she was exposed to constantly. Barbers and Plumbers aren’t hanging out at the GQ Magazine party. 

You have a good point about magazine editors etc and their free swag! I hadn't thought about that.

I think I have been in "Covid-19 home body state" too long, because I too forgot about magazine launch parties etc! those are great places to meet people. Silly Me.

You are brilliant.

[ifionlyknew]

18 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Thrifting in NYC must be really nice too . . . 

I live close to Pittsburgh. And while it may not be NYC they have some nice consignment shops. I have gotten Michael Kors purses.  And I even found a pair of Jimmy Choo pumps which I snatched up. I've always said if I make it to NYC forget Central Park and the Empire State building, I'm hitting the thrift stores.

10 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You have a good point about magazine editors etc and their free swag! I hadn't thought about that.

I thought about that which probably happened.  How hard would it have been for the show to acknowledge that. We know a lot of the designer stuff was given or loaned to the show to use on air.   SATC brought Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos to the masses.

12 hours ago, T Summer said:

I  find the actor Chris Noth very likeable,

 

11 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

^ I'm the same about Big/Chris. Wasn't a big Big fan, but I do like Chris.

Chris Noth is so charming he makes any character he plays likable. See the Good Wife where he was the not so good husband.

17 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

As far as "Big types" in real life- many of them finally settle down when they no longer have the energy to pursue women any more, but would like some company and partnered sex.

George Clooney comes to mind.

We know in real life Candace Bushnell did not end up with her Mr. Big.  I was such a fan of Carrie and Big as a couple when I originally watched the show. But upon many re watches later I'm not such a fan anymore.  I think the writers had invested so much in them they thought they had to give them a more or less happily ever after.  I am curious to see what the status of their marriage is in the new show.

Carrie and Aidan were woefully mismatched.  He was a good guy but not right for Carrie.  I agree she was vulnerable after Big married Natasha and Aidan was the polar opposite of Big. He was caring and giving and I think Carrie needed and appreciated that.   But our girl doesn't really like solid and reliable.   I think her involvement with  Aidan should have ended when she confessed she cheated on him.   Not sure why she wanted to get back together with him. And not sure why he took her back.  

Alek was like a fairy tale prince to Carrie.  But when she went to Paris she realized she didn't want to be the lonely princess.

I've always said Berger was good on paper. I think if he  had been written better that relationship could have worked. I read somewhere the break up on a post it happened to one of the writers so I believe Carrie/Berger was written the way they were to specifically lead up to the post it break up. That whole relationship was just filler to get to final episodes.

I know it won't happen but I would like for Carrie to be single in the new show. And be happily single. Not actively looking for someone new. Or since John Corbett is in the new show not looking for someone old. I don't think we have ever seen Carrie be single and enjoy it.

This is what Candace Bushnell has to say about being single.

"Being single is hard and there’s something a bit heroic about it."

I agree with her.

[Ms Blue Jay]

33 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

As far as Alex, no he had no regard for Carrie as a person, she was an piece of entertainment and fulfilled a need for him- but at least he was clear about that from jump street. This was his life, she could come if she wanted (and he would pay) OR she could not, and he would find someone else to keep him company. The only woman Alex probably had any regard for was his daughter.

I kind of like this description but at the same time I see a bit of reflection in Miranda/Steve so Miranda could have been more understanding towards Carrie and Aleks' whole dynamic.  Often there will be someone with more financial power, that's how it goes sometimes.

Whether Patricia Field used vintage shops or not in S1/S2, that's how the clothes really looked to me (in a good way) so much so that I was inspired to use those shops after Carrie did.  I remember her saying she was buying a $5 dress to go with $400 shoes or something like that.  That all changed in Season 3 which is one of the reasons I didn't feel so romantically towards the show anymore.  Then suddenly Carrie was bragging about wearing ghetto gold which is just offensive to say.  Oh, and sleeping with her married ex, etc.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I kind of like this description but at the same time I see a bit of reflection in Miranda/Steve so Miranda could have been more understanding towards Carrie and Aleks' whole dynamic.  Often there will be someone with more financial power, that's how it goes sometimes.

I do think Miranda was more understanding of Steve's emotional needs after Brady was born than Alex ever was with Carrie. But this may also because Miranda and Steve were raising a child together, so Steve's contribution to the childcare made things more "equitable" in Miranda's mind. Steve did also have the bar that he was passionate about and Miranda respected that. 

I dont think Miranda had a problem with Carrie being kept by Alex, I think Miranda had a problem with Carrie not going in with her eyes wide open about what it meant to be kept by Alex- she was up rooting her entire life and routine to accompany him to another country, and she could be dropped like a hot potato.

10 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

Carrie and Aidan were woefully mismatched.  He was a good guy but not right for Carrie.  I agree she was vulnerable after Big married Natasha and Aidan was the polar opposite of Big. He was caring and giving and I think Carrie needed and appreciated that.   But our girl doesn't really like solid and reliable.   I think her involvement with  Aidan should have ended when she confessed she cheated on him.   Not sure why she wanted to get back together with him. And not sure why he took her back.  

I think she wanted him back because she was lonely, and realized that the entire Big affair was  dumb AF. I think he took her back because he liked her, and honestly no one else had shown up in the interim and he was single. I could see why Aidan would forgive for her the entire Big situation, she had loved him, he left her and married someone else, blah blah, but continuing to keep Big in her life- Aidan was a sucker for punishment with that.

[Ms Blue Jay]

33 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

I've always said Berger was good on paper. I think if he  had been written better that relationship could have worked. I read somewhere the break up on a post it happened to one of the writers so I believe Carrie/Berger was written the way they were to specifically lead up to the post it break up. That whole relationship was just filler to get to final episodes.

Interesting point.  

I do find it realistic that some people are really bad at communication and being assertive, even THAT bad.  But Berger definitely was permanently ruined in that story.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[ifionlyknew]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I dont think Miranda had a problem with Carrie being kept by Alex, I think Miranda had a problem with Carrie not going in with her eyes wide open about what it meant to be kept by Alex- she was up rooting her entire life and routine to accompany him to another country, and she could be dropped like a hot potato.

I agree with this.  Miranda was also leery about Carrie giving up her apartment for Big without being married.  I think it was just Miranda's nature to want her female friends to be able to support themselves and not  have to rely on a man.  Might I say it's a trait I share with her.  

[Ms Blue Jay]

23 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

 Steve did also have the bar that he was passionate about and Miranda respected that. 

I think Aleks respected Carrie's writing.  I think he found her odd and funny.  Of course, he had to live in Paris and not New York, but everyone has a city they just NEED to live in, including Carrie and 100% including Miranda.  Miranda had to be convinced to move to Brooklyn to appease Steve, which is what Carrie pointed out to her.  Samantha was also moving to LA to support Smith's career, right?  Obviously she's more financially independent but I feel like everyone is tiptoeing around Miranda being unnaturally possessive and controlling when it comes to Carrie.  Miranda can worry about Carrie all she wants but in the end it's not her decision.  Even Carrie was more mature when Big took off to Napa.

In order for Steve to permanently be with Miranda he would have to accept that Miranda would be funding a lot of his life.  At the beginning he had major problems with it, then suddenly he got past it.  

I think Carrie could have totally done her column from Paris if she was as respected as it seemed like she was on the show.  Or maybe write for another publication.  She never went into an office so it didn't matter where she wrote.  That was just plot contrivance to make Aleks seem "wrong" for her. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Obviously she's more financially independent but I feel like everyone is tiptoeing around Miranda being unnaturally possessive and controlling when it comes to Carrie.  Miranda can worry about Carrie all she wants but in the end it's not her decision.  Even Carrie was more mature when Big took off to Napa.

Miranda was possessive and controlling when it came to Carrie- I think this was because Miranda was the sensible one and Carrie was always doing stupid shit and being immature IN ADDITION to Miranda's own emotional issues (which of course were not Carrie's fault). Miranda was wrong to be controlling and possessive, but intellectually she wasn't off the mark. 

I know in my 20s I would have friends that would do stupid shit, and I would say "thats a bad idea" and then when they fell on their face I would just look. Of course I wasnt happy they were suffering, but in my head I would go "didnt I tell you not to do that???" Yes they had a right to do it, but friends are supposed to tell you the truth "that shit is dumb, be careful." 

Miranda had a tendency to be a bit neurotic, and Carrie was a conduit for that. Samantha was always able to take care of herself, and Charlotte, despite being the "dreamer" was sensible- like when she negotiated for the pre-nup with Miranda's help.

[LemonSoda]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

You have a good point about magazine editors etc and their free swag! I hadn't thought about that.

I think I have been in "Covid-19 home body state" too long, because I too forgot about magazine launch parties etc! those are great places to meet people. Silly Me.

You are brilliant.

The swag bags from event parties used to be so incredible! Same with the gifts sent to magazines, magazine staff. Now a lot of that is going to influencers. 
Add in her friendships with fashion people like Stanford, Susan Sharon, others she probably received a lot of free awesome designer swag. 

Her love of Century 21 was noted in a later season too. 

[ifionlyknew]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

In order for Steve to permanently be with Miranda he would have to accept that Miranda would be funding a lot of his life.  At the beginning he had major problems with it, then suddenly he got past it.  

Steve was never written consistently. I've never written for a TV show but how hard can it be to keep track of character's traits, actions or even just an overall idea of who they are?  I can understand actors who complain when they think their character is doing something that doesn't match with who the character is.

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I think Carrie could have totally done her column from Paris if she was as respected as it seemed like she was on the show. 

She said she suggested that to her editors and they said no.

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Or maybe write for another publication. 

She was already freelancing for Vogue.  Isn't there a French Vogue?  I guess she could have freelanced for them.

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

That was just plot contrivance to make Aleks seem "wrong" for her. 

I think Alek was wrong for her in many ways.  

30 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Miranda was wrong to be controlling and possessive, but intellectually she wasn't off the mark. 

Miranda thought Carrie was being impulsive and not thinking through her decision to give up her job (without another one lined up) and jetting off to live in Paris with a man she hadn't known very long. I mean what could possibly go wrong? And I don't think Carrie was moving to Paris because it's what she wanted but rather she knew her friends were moving on to different lives and she didn't want to be left behind.

33 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I know in my 20s I would have friends that would do stupid shit, and I would say "thats a bad idea" and then when they fell on their face I would just look. Of course I wasnt happy they were suffering, but in my head I would go "didnt I tell you not to do that???" Yes they had a right to do it, but friends are supposed to tell you the truth "that shit is dumb, be careful." 

I have no problem telling a friend I told you so when they do something I have warned them against and it blows up in their face.  When Carrie called Miranda and told her things weren't great she took the high road and simply told Carrie to come home.

 

[Ms Blue Jay]

43 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

She said she suggested that to her editors and they said no.

Yes, I have seen the show.  My point was that that reaction made no sense to me at all.  Not only that, but something else could have been figured out with her career.  There could have been so many other directions her career could have taken while in Paris besides "no solution".  She already worked remotely as is.

43 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

And I don't think Carrie was moving to Paris because it's what she wanted but rather she knew her friends were moving on to different lives and she didn't want to be left behind.

There isn't anything wrong with Carrie feeling like that.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[T Summer]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

As far as "Big types" in real life- many of them finally settle down when they no longer have the energy to pursue women any more, but would like some company and partnered sex. I dont think Big ever wanted children, and for "Big types", they may marry in their 50s when they are just too tired to "hunt" for women any more, and are thinking about their mortality and comfort in their older years. If they never had bio children, they may want someone to look out for them if they become ill/disabled (not financially but practically). So Big finally marrying Carrie actually made sense to me, he was older and tired and she was there- he enjoyed her company well enough and it was clear she wasn't going to demand much after all these years besides material comfort (which he was able to give).

 

Yes, we're on the same wavelength as far as Big's motivation to settle down when he'd had his fill of N.Y. nightlife and dating and after his heart related scare.  He didn't care that he wasted 10 years of Carrie's life and that those 10 years were the ones she needed to decide if she wanted children or not and act on it with someone who wanted the same things out of life.

She didn't want children in the end; as I recall  there was that moment when she was with Alex when she considered whether she was "a baby person"... but Big never seemed concerned about what Carrie might want. It was all on his terms when he was good and ready, because there was no downside for him. That's what I mean when I speculate a real life Big wouldn't have been such a nice guy as Big was portrayed to be on the show in practically every other way. A real life Big would have probably wanted a little carbon copy of himself and   children to carry on his legacy. After all, his life wouldn't have to change very much married with children or without... it's not like he'd be doing the actual childcare.

 Carrie might have  been imagining she was choosing a jet setting life free and unencumbered by children and their schedules, but Big just wanted to stay in and sit on the  couch after they were married. Though I try to block those awful movies out of my mind, I recall him saying  to Carrie "I've seen the city" something about for the past 30 years... when she tried to drag him to a premiere.  Smith's Jarrod's movie premiere?

[ifionlyknew]

14 minutes ago, T Summer said:

A real life Big would have probably wanted a little carbon copy of himself and   children to carry on his legacy. After all, his life wouldn't have to change very much married with children or without... it's not like he'd be doing the actual childcare.

If he had stayed married to Natasha he would have kids.

28 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

There isn't anything wrong with Carrie feeling like that.

No there isn't anything wrong with that but I think she was lying to herself.

29 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

  My point was that that reaction made no sense to me at all. 

It was a NYC newspaper. I can understand them wanting the column to be about sex in New York City.

34 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Not only that, but something else could have been figured out with her career.  There could have been so many other directions her career could have taken while in Paris besides "no solution".  She already worked remotely as is.

For one Carrie wasn't all that ambitious. And two the writers didn't want there to be a solution.

There were a lot of plot contrivances that are much more noticeable when you do a re watch.

[Scarlett45]

@T Summer I dont find it odd that Big was as nice as he was. Tons of self centered, selfish people are perfectly nice and pleasant. They just let everyone know that nothing and no one comes before their comfort. He was generous with his funds because he had plenty of money and it didn't cost him anything emotionally or lifestyle wise. I cannot really feel bad that Big wasted Carrie's time- now I have no idea why Carrie even wanted Big after all that BS, but Big was pretty honest about who he was and what he wanted from day 1 (directly or indirectly)*. If Carrie's time was wasted it was because she allowed it to happen. She cannot blame Big for that when he MARRIED someone else in the interim. 

@ifionlyknew Big and Natasha wouldve had children if she had wanted them, but given how Big was, that would've been her call. No he wouldn't be doing any of the childcare, and he had plenty of money, but given that biological children requires more work from the woman, it would've been up to whatever woman he was with to want to do that. And as we can see, Big didnt want to put in the emotional work to build a relationship with a woman until he was "tired" and Carrie was there. And he certainly wasn't going to pay a surrogate and hire a nanny.

 

 

*I am speaking of the show here, the "I am not coming." sitting outside of the wedding venue with Carrie in her dress was FOUL.

[Ms Blue Jay]

40 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

For one Carrie wasn't all that ambitious. And two the writers didn't want there to be a solution.

There were a lot of plot contrivances that are much more noticeable when you do a re watch.

That is exactly what I said. That it was a plot contrivance.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[T Summer]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@T Summer I dont find it odd that Big was as nice as he was. Tons of self centered, selfish people are perfectly nice and pleasant. They just let everyone know that nothing and no one comes before their comfort. He was generous with his funds because he had plenty of money and it didn't cost him anything emotionally or lifestyle wise. I cannot really feel bad that Big wasted Carrie's time- now I have no idea why Carrie even wanted Big after all that BS, but Big was pretty honest about who he was and what he wanted from day 1 (directly or indirectly). If Carrie's time was wasted it was because she allowed it to happen. She cannot blame Big for that when he MARRIED someone else in the interim.

Right? Can you imagine being married to someone you were on again off again with for 10 years (but lets face it Carrie always wanted Big), and recalling events of the past having to say was that while you were with that actress Willow? Was that during the time you were   married to Natasha? Damn, that would be deflating.

 

You called him generous and  I think I called him generous as well, but I was just thinking of what Big bought Carrie over the years and all I can remember  is that ugly bejeweled purse. Was it a duck? He didn't even know her fashion sense!

 

When I think of Mr Big ... wasn't his business real estate?, I can't help but think of a certain high profile, real estate developer, twice divorced, mogul type who used to be in the press often... long long before any TV show or political campaign. lol

 

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, T Summer said:

You called him generous and  I think I called him generous as well, but I was just thinking of what Big bought Carrie over the years and all I can remember  is that ugly bejeweled purse. Was it a duck? He didn't even know her fashion sense!

 

Well I assume Big paid for all of their dates/outings, was paying for that nice vacation to the Caribbean (although Carrie dumped him right before), paid for an open ended flight to visit him in Napa- that was all generous in my book for a woman that he wasn't even serious about. If I am just "friends" with a guy, we usually split things, or I buy the movie tickets and he pays for dinner- I dont expect him to fund all of our activities together.

[ifionlyknew]

21 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

That is exactly what I said. That it was a plot contrivance.

Yes I was agreeing with you.

If the show had continued for another season I wonder if they would have done the Alec in Paris plot.

[RealHousewife]

2 hours ago, ifionlyknew said:

Miranda thought Carrie was being impulsive and not thinking through her decision to give up her job (without another one lined up) and jetting off to live in Paris with a man she hadn't known very long. I mean what could possibly go wrong? And I don't think Carrie was moving to Paris because it's what she wanted but rather she knew her friends were moving on to different lives and she didn't want to be left behind.

I have no problem telling a friend I told you so when they do something I have warned them against and it blows up in their face.  When Carrie called Miranda and told her things weren't great she took the high road and simply told Carrie to come home.

Miranda loved Carrie like a sister. The show made it seem as the women were essentially one another's family. Miranda tried to look after Carrie imo, and she felt awful when Carrie was sad and lonely in Paris and wondered how it would have been with Big. I know Miranda could come across as harsh and judgmental, but I'd rather have her telling it how it is than someone who'd cheerlead my risky decisions. The people who cheerlead everything you want to do, do not love you. They're surface-level friends. They're going to say, oh wow sounds like fun! I wish I could go to Paris. They won't even notice you're gone. The people who will truly miss you and know you well are different. They are concerned about your life think more deeply about your decisions and their consequences.

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Miranda loved Carrie like a sister. The show made it seem as the women were essentially one another's family. Miranda tried to look after Carrie imo, and she felt awful when Carrie was sad and lonely in Paris and wondered how it would have been with Big. I know Miranda could come across as harsh and judgmental, but I'd rather have her telling it how it is than someone who'd cheerlead my risky decisions. The people who cheerlead everything you want to do, do not love you. They're surface-level friends. They're going to say, oh wow sounds like fun! I wish I could go to Paris. They won't even notice you're gone. The people who will truly miss you and know you well are different. They are concerned about your life think more deeply about your decisions and their consequences.

So much this. I have been through some stuff with my biological family lately, and I said some hard stuff to my big cousin (who is now not speaking to me)- but I don't regret it. Love is telling someone the hard stuff. Of course, don't yell and scream and curse and call them names (even if you are angry), but you say "WAIT, this is not in your best interest for xyz reason" etc etc.

Yes, legally competent adults are allowed to make bad decisions, but I would want the people that love me to call me out on stuff if I am making decision against my best interest.  Miranda saw that Carrie was making what she thought was a bad decision and she told her. This wasnt a "I dont like your hair cut" type situation or something frivolous- this was her life. And yeah, they were getting to the age were life mistakes were harder to course correct. Of course as long as you are alive things are possible, but it's a lot easier to recover from stupid at 21 than it is at 40.

[ifionlyknew]

57 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

 Miranda saw that Carrie was making what she thought was a bad decision and she told her.

Fast forward to the movie when Carrie told Miranda she thought she was wrong to not forgive Steve.  I will forever think it was wrong of Carrie to say that to Miranda.

Miranda never really got judgy with Carrie.  She needed a cigarette after Carrie told her about her affair with  Big but she didn't judge her.  She let Carrie make her mistakes and was there to pick up the pieces.  But her going to Paris with Alec was life altering  I completely understand her not wanting Carrie to make that big of a mistake.  

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

Fast forward to the movie when Carrie told Miranda she thought she was wrong to not forgive Steve.  I will forever think it was wrong of Carrie to say that to Miranda.

Miranda never really got judgy with Carrie.  She needed a cigarette after Carrie told her about her affair with  Big but she didn't judge her.  She let Carrie make her mistakes and was there to pick up the pieces.  But her going to Paris with Alec was life altering  I completely understand her not wanting Carrie to make that big of a mistake.  

You probably remember better than I do, but did Carrie say it was wrong for Carrie not to forgive Steve, or that Miranda should consider forgiving Steve (I may be confusing this with Charlotte, who I think said "do you think you could forgive him?).

I don't think Miranda should've needed to beg and plead with Carrie to forgive her for what she said to Big. Big leaving Carrie at the damn altar was NEVER Miranda's fault. And after the girls dropped everything to go with Carrie on the defunct honeymoon (which I understand, their friend had been left the altar), its clear they were very supportive.

[ifionlyknew]

13 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You probably remember better than I do, but did Carrie say it was wrong for Carrie not to forgive Steve, or that Miranda should consider forgiving Steve (I may be confusing this with Charlotte, who I think said "do you think you could forgive him?).

I don't remember the exact words but they were arguing about something and Carrie said something about Miranda should or needs to forgive Steve. She said it in a snotty way.

 

I just looked it up.  Carrie told Miranda for the last five months she thought Miranda made a mistake letting Steve go. Like it was wrong for Miranda to let a cheating husband go.

13 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I don't think Miranda should've needed to beg and plead with Carrie to forgive her for what she said to Big. Big leaving Carrie at the damn altar was NEVER Miranda's fault.

That was another plot contrivance.  Let's not blame Big for jilting Carrie. Let's blame Miranda for something she said in passing to Big.

Edited June 29, 2021 by ifionlyknew

[Ms Blue Jay]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

You probably remember better than I do, but did Carrie say it was wrong for Carrie not to forgive Steve, or that Miranda should consider forgiving Steve (I may be confusing this with Charlotte, who I think said "do you think you could forgive him?).

----

Quote

CARRIE And I think what hurts the most is that you kept a secret from me. I have never ever kept a secret from you. Ever! She starts out. Stops, comes back -- through the ribbons.

CARRIE (CONT'D) No, I'm lying. For the last five months I've been thinking that it's a huge mistake that you left Steve. (beat) There. How does it feel?

Anyway, Carrie was such an asshole.  I have no idea why she's so invested in Miranda and Steve anyway.  It almost comes off as her saying that Miranda is not good enough for Steve, even though Steve is an adulterer.  Like Miranda needs to hold onto him because she won't do better.  Please.  Miranda would do better throwing a rock outside her window.

I forgot how Charlotte and Sam felt.  I would hope Sam wouldn't care that much about Steve.  I think Charlotte likes him.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[ifionlyknew]

21 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

----

 

I forgot how Charlotte and Sam felt.  I would hope Sam wouldn't care that much about Steve.  I think Charlotte likes him.

Charlotte said something about being mad at Steve for what he did to Miranda but not on the same level as she was mad at Big for what he did to Carrie.  It was during this conversation she says what she would say to Big if she ever ran into him.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I forgot how Charlotte and Sam felt.  I would hope Sam wouldn't care that much about Steve.  I think Charlotte likes him.

I think Charlotte and Sam were more along the lines that Miranda wasn’t under any obligation to forgive Steve, but it was one time, and if she wanted to be married to him she should think about forgiving him. I think Sam said “Anyone can have a slip” and Charlotte said “you don’t think that you could forgive him, it was one time, he’s not seeing anyone else….”

 

45 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

Charlotte said something about being mad at Steve for what he did to Miranda but not on the same level as she was mad at Big for what he did to Carrie.  It was during this conversation she says what she would say to Big if she ever ran into him.

Which I agree with. Steve was wrong for cheating but Big was FOUL. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

LOL wow!  I think what Steve did is soooo much worse.

For me it's ridiculous that Charlotte could be so mad at Big but Samantha/Carrie/Charlotte act like Darling little Steve just had a slip.

One destroyed a marriage.  The other torpedoed a wedding.  Momentarily, and then got back to his senses, but by then it was too late.

I can see how Carrie's actions could have helped contribute to Big having a panic attack.  But he did not cheat on Carrie or sleep with someone.  

I thought it was ridiculous that they had to feed Carrie in Mexico.  Miranda was going through hell too, but for some reason no one is supposed to sympathize with her.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[ifionlyknew]

I also think what Steve did was worse.  Big might have humiliated Carrie but Steve betrayed Miranda and tried to blame her.

And Miranda got very little sympathy and support from her friends.  Charlotte thought it was such a terrible thing when she found out Big cheated on Natasha with Carrie.  But thought maybe Miranda should forgive Steve.  As @Ms Blue Jay mentioned above it was like Miranda's friends thought she was lucky to have him.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Right, actually Charlotte was mad at Carrie for doing the cheating, not at Big.  So I think Charlotte kind of takes a misogynistic viewpoint of cheating.  The woman is wrong no matter who is doing the cheating (Carrie and Miranda, instead of Big and Steve.). Like Miranda should have pleased Steve, so it's her fault, and Carrie should have respected Big and Natasha's marriage.

Why couldn't whoever Steve cheated with ALSO respect Steve's marriage, like Carrie should have?  Instead, somehow Miranda has to be the one to get over it and go back.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[T Summer]

Reflecting on why Miranda's friends  might have acted like she better get back with Steve if she wants to be married / not be alone... I can't think of another relationship the writers gave Miranda? Unless you count Skip, but they never really showed them doing couple things or making plans for the future. They ran into each other a couple of times. Other than that... the cop who left her the AA info, the angry law partner, the bozo with the kid that told her to just go away, Mr No Boundries,  and the out of towner she saw once before and after she had Brady. They were all basically one night stands. There was Blair Underwood / Dr. Robert. I guess he was her only boyfriend other than Steve.

[LemonSoda]

7 hours ago, T Summer said:

You called him generous and  I think I called him generous as well, but I was just thinking of what Big bought Carrie over the years and all I can remember  is that ugly bejeweled purse. Was it a duck? He didn't even know her fashion sense!

Now this is an episode I think about way too much! Because I see and have experienced both sides of it. I’ve received gifts that weren’t my style or taste. When prodded, each incident came down to buying what friends were getting for their wives/ socially popular items a lot of women are seen with or salesperson advise in stores. 
So I can see how Big saw all the other women with the expensive bedazzled clutches (I’ve met a few Judith Leiber collectors!) and thought Ah! I’ll grab one for Carrie! 
 

Oh and it’s wrong but I’ve chosen to believe both Birkins, especially the Croc one Carrie has at Sam’s chemo were gifts from Big. 

[qtpye]

11 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I think Aleks respected Carrie's writing.  I think he found her odd and funny.  Of course, he had to live in Paris and not New York, but everyone has a city they just NEED to live in, including Carrie and 100% including Miranda.  Miranda had to be convinced to move to Brooklyn to appease Steve, which is what Carrie pointed out to her.  Samantha was also moving to LA to support Smith's career, right?  Obviously she's more financially independent but I feel like everyone is tiptoeing around Miranda being unnaturally possessive and controlling when it comes to Carrie.  Miranda can worry about Carrie all she wants but in the end it's not her decision.  Even Carrie was more mature when Big took off to Napa.

In order for Steve to permanently be with Miranda he would have to accept that Miranda would be funding a lot of his life.  At the beginning he had major problems with it, then suddenly he got past it.  

I think Carrie could have totally done her column from Paris if she was as respected as it seemed like she was on the show.  Or maybe write for another publication.  She never went into an office so it didn't matter where she wrote.  That was just plot contrivance to make Aleks seem "wrong" for her. 

 

3 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

----

Anyway, Carrie was such an asshole.  I have no idea why she's so invested in Miranda and Steve anyway.  It almost comes off as her saying that Miranda is not good enough for Steve, even though Steve is an adulterer.  Like Miranda needs to hold onto him because she won't do better.  Please.  Miranda would do better throwing a rock outside her window.

I forgot how Charlotte and Sam felt.  I would hope Sam wouldn't care that much about Steve.  I think Charlotte likes him.

 

1 hour ago, ifionlyknew said:

I also think what Steve did was worse.  Big might have humiliated Carrie but Steve betrayed Miranda and tried to blame her.

And Miranda got very little sympathy and support from her friends.  Charlotte thought it was such a terrible thing when she found out Big cheated on Natasha with Carrie.  But thought maybe Miranda should forgive Steve.  As @Ms Blue Jay mentioned above it was like Miranda's friends thought she was lucky to have him.

I am reading a book on pretty privilege, which I am not sure that I agree with but find it an interesting read.

Anyway, the author of the book has lived a wonderful successful life. She was raised in a loving upper-class family and has never wanted anything.

However, she freely admits that all her life she has never been considered attractive in any manner to most of society. She was an athlete with a great figure but even dressed up she does not attract any men but they will happily push her out of the way to talk to her more conventionally attractive friends.

In every other way she is successful (she is a doctor) but she (in her words) is not an attractive woman so people think she should settle in the way that more attractive women do not have to (pretty privilege).

For instance, her friends expect men to pay everything for them but the men she dates never have any money and she often has to be a financial provider to some degree. Her girlfriends would never accept that for themselves but think it is fine for her.

I find Miranda quite attractive, particularly when they finally gave her good clothes and nice styling in the later seasons. I think they styled her horribly in the earlier seasons but that was okay as well since not every woman is about fashion.

However, I have yet to find anything amazing about Steve that his one little "slip" was so damn forgivable.

The show has always kind of low key said that Miranda is the least attractive of the four women and sometimes likes to throw this in her face a little bit. 

When Miranda dumped Blair Underwood for Steve, there was a "haha Miranda is so delusional" moment when Miranda thought Blair was heartbroken but he was having a threesome with two other women.

Then there was the date where Miranda was dating a handsome man and thought all the women in the restaurant were wondering what he was doing with her. Mind you...this might have been just her insecurity but they certainly made it look that way in the scene. She then drinks too much, makes a fool of herself, and never sees that guy again.

Miranda was also the one that the Modelizer picked to accompany him to his friend's dinner party because "she was so obviously not a model".

Miranda was actually smart, attractive, and definitely could attract men but I really do not understand why there seems to be a narrative in the show that she is very lucky to have Steve. If anything, Steve is lucky to have her.

 

Edited June 30, 2021 by qtpye

[Ms Blue Jay]

That's an understatement.  They try to sell Steve on being a ladies man - he's slept with more than 60 women and he tells Miranda this as if she's stupid to be shocked: "I'm a bartender, and I'm cute."   Ugghhhhhhhhhh excuse me while I vomit.  With some men I could believe that sure, but Steve?  Steve?  STEVE?  Some writer obviously had the biggest crush on David Eigenberg for reasons I don't understand and notice how this actor has never had success in any other project?  (I'm just making this up.  If he has, I don't need to know about it.)

So many storylines are designed to humiliate Miranda.  That's why I mentioned that storyline about the guy across the hall who was actually cruising another man in Miranda's building.  When they go to a tantric sex class, the guy's (stuff) flies all the way across the room and of course lands on Miranda's face.  A child walks in on Miranda urinating (maybe even in the same episode).  Miranda tries to date a hot dog.  Miranda spends a night alone with a cake and then throws it in the garbage.  Miranda says she'll sleep with a construction worker and then HE rejects HER.  But of course. etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

Edited June 30, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Scarlett45]

17 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Miranda was actually smart, attractive, and definitely could attract men but I really do not understand why there seems to be a narrative in the show that she is very lucky to have Steve. If anything, Steve is lucky to have her.

 

Oh yeah- Steve was lucky to have her. 
 

I think the show did this to Miranda because Miranda wasn’t into doing the “emotional labor” that women are usually forced into. Miranda was who she was and if you didn’t like it, you could keep stepping. I loved that about her.