Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

Snark Talk: Home, Home on the (De) Ranged

film noire

By film noire
in The Pioneer Woman

  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 3.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

film noire
film noire

Well, here's a sneak peak at the Bourdain voiceover on his show about his visit to Reeworld:   "I've been to a lot of places on this planet. Some of them have been as ugly as my mood after a three d

film noire
film noire

“I’m a writer, blogger, photographer” (and a puppet, a poet, a pirate, a pawn and a king). Her intro has always seemed like one huge poker tell to me. In the creation myth of the Pioneer Woman, Ree Dr

rocketinu
rocketinu

Three of my girlfriends and I drove up from OKC one Friday before Christmas (about 2 hours). We arrived at about 11:00 am. There was already a two hour wait for lunch. We went into the Mercantile. It

Posted Images

film noire

film noire

  • Author
On 10/13/2017 at 8:02 PM, grisgris said:

Question. I ordered a black/white striped boatneck tshirt from eBay for dirt cheap as well as a black mini skirt to wear over black tights. Then I thought ... during election season I got the Warhol-inspired Hilary Clinton t-shirt which is on a black background. Since the party attendees are strong Dems, and Edie was Warhol's muse, if that would be funnier. I don't know. The striped shirt is brand new and it was under $15, so it's something I'd wear anyway. Decisions ... Decisions.  What do y'all think?  I have an old fake fur coat and am going to get a dark pixie wig and spray it silver. The fun part will be the makeup and I've been watching tons of tutorials on TY.

Sounds fabulous, GrisGris -- I'd go with the Warhol shirt -- very meta : )

  • Love 2
lucygoose

lucygoose

10 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

She looks pretty bad there..... either she needs a makeup artist or the one she has hates her.

She looks very harsh.  It's surprising to me that she doesn't take advantage of all her money and go to a professional and get their opinion on what looks best for her, she seems to have just found a style that she likes and has stuck to it, and it gets less and less flattering as she ages.  She's so pasty white with harsh black eye make up, and garish orange hair that clashes.  I think just softening her eye and hair color would do wonders.  She also needs a new hairstyle too though, that forehead needs a bit of covering.  

  • Love 5
ariel

ariel

(edited)
26 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

No kidding! With her money, she be able to hire someone to do better, Put a witch's hat on her and she's ready for Halloween.

She comes across as a very vain person. I don't get that with all her money she looks so mediocre.

eta - with vain people, they think great, when they don't or are trying to relive their youth.  I think that's Ree.

Edited by ariel
  • Love 3
Lura

Lura

(edited)

I am happy to report that while Ree is out selling her cookbooks, Guy Fieri is in a parking lot close to home here in CA, feeding 2,500 people who have lost their homes to fires, plus exhausted firefighters, with a ginormous barbecue and a smoker.  He's worked all day non-stop except for lunch and is feeding another 2,500 tonight.  He did this completely on his own, with no calls from anyone asking for help.  He was the first, and now several area chefs are up there feeding people.  His entire family and all of his friends are up there cooking, too.

Guy may be loud, but when someone needs help, he's the first one there. 

Edited by Lura
typo
  • Love 11
chessiegal

chessiegal

8 minutes ago, Lura said:

I am happy to report that while Ree is out selling her cookbooks, Guy Fieri is close to home here, feeding 2,500 people who have lost their homes to fires, plus exhausted firefighters, with a ginormous barbecue and a smoker in a parking lot.  He's worked all day non-stop except for lunch and is feeding another 2,500 tonight.  He did this completely on his own, with no calls from anyone asking for help.  He was the first, and now several areas chefs are up there feeding people.  Guy may be loud, but bless his heart, when someone needs help, he's the first one there.  What a great guy!

Taking my reply to Small Talk.

grisgris

grisgris

I think that Ree believes that she has established an *iconic* signature look.  Kind of like the Farrah cut, or Stevie Nicks' frothy black dresses (or while I have Edie on the brain), Edie's black tights and chandelier earrings.

Sadly, with Ree, her "look" is ordinary at best and just plain unflattering. Part of having a signature look is that it's something that actually works for you and/or it's so unique that people want to emulate it or both (i.e. Farrah haircut.)

I really can't imagine anybody aspiring to copy Ree, so I doubt, she needs to worry about "Bitch Stole My Look." Sadly, more along the lines of "What Not to Wear ... "

  • Love 7
Lura

Lura

(edited)

I sometimes wonder whether Ladd has inadvertently said things that influence the way Ree looks.  For instance, could he have whispered between the sheets how much he loves to stroke her long hair?  Or could he have given her that knock-out smile sometime and called her his red-haired fox?  I think that Ree would be very receptive to anything that Ladd liked, and so she would never change it if he liked it.  Be that as it may, I still have a hard time imagining that a determined woman like Ree would swelter through the summers with that heavy mane covering her neck and those long "maternity tops" covering every inch of her upper body and her arms.  She's a weird one.

Edited by Lura
anneofcleves

anneofcleves

I think Ree is like any number of women who get around a certain age whose look, hair in particular, becomes almost a caricature.  You see it all the time on local newscasts with the super poofy, lackered, over-bleached helmet that at one time was probably a normal bob hairstyle.  Even nationally, look at Nancy Grace or the Long Island Medium.  That's her look, and it's probably tougher to get rid of it because it's part of her brand identity.  I know if I see a woman with parking cone orange hair on tv that it's probably Ree Drummond.

 

I couldn't do it, mostly because I like to change my style up too ofen and actually like my basic brown hair color.  I have some friends, though, who've fallen into the "caricature hairstyle."  They even laugh about it.

  • Love 3
cathy

cathy

Anyone going as Ree for Halloween tell us how it went!!  Maybe upload a picture?  We aren't going to any parties this year.  No one I know is giving one.  I just saw the QVC video.  She looks aweful.  Pale, bloated.  Wrinkley.  She also acts like she doesn't like David Venable.  It seems very "forced."  He likes her, I can tell.  She has a very forced, flat affect.  No personality.  They talked about the holiday pinwheels in her new book.  That was on her website a long time ago.  I know, because I made them!!  More recycled well known recipies.  Yawn.  But that is par for the course.  The most alarming thing about her visit was her appearance.  Time for a facelift, Ree!

peacheslatour

peacheslatour

2 hours ago, HyeChaps said:

Went to Party City to get a long wig. There was red and there was orange. Got the orange, but wow! So bright!

Now you need lots of white make up, a ton of black eye make up and a maternity top. Oh, and lots of jangly bracelets to get in your way while you reach for the canapes.

  • Love 2
Lura

Lura

(edited)

Borrow somebody's hound dog with long, floppy ears, and call it Walter.  Or carry a stuffed one.  Ree always says she has a soft spot for hounds.  You'll be spot on!

Rockitinu, I think I've seen it all now.  WHERE did Ree find that black and white poncho she's wearing (part way down the page)???  She looks good in black and white, but she's really gone Mexican in that get-up.  She has some strange taste.

Edited by Lura
  • Love 1
Automne

Automne

(edited)

More magazine thoughts: 

Yes, let's make a sticky, gooey, sugary caramel bar and add more sticky, gooey, sugary candy on top! That's not overkill or anything. I never have had a cavity ever in my life, but my teeth hurt just looking at those things.

Christ, she's on about how football is a Family Drummond tradition. You live in Bumfuck, Oklahoma. What the fuck else are you all going to do on your weekends?

Well, at least we get a semi-admission of the wild mustang government money racket the Drummond got going. Though it was a blurb spread across two pages; what a waste. There's so much superfluous material in this magazine to pad its length and it's so unnecessary. 

Okay, here's where I have to defend Ree: who in the actual fuck writes "1c." for one cube of butter instead of one cup? And who the fuck says "cube" instead of "stick?" Ladd's mother, that's who. I mean, I was born 17 years after 1968, but...I'm pretty sure that wasn't a thing back then. I can't blame Ree or call her an idiot because I would've made the exact same error. Goddamn it, Nan.

JFC, is Ree still going on about Alex leaving for college? I think the kid is a freaking sophomore now. I get it's the first kid to go off to college and all, but she's got three more coming up right behind. Better stop leaking from the eyes and buck up because I'm pretty sure Paige is a senior and will be in college this time next year. Pretty sure Todd is a legit teenager now; is she crying into his baby blankie every night or something? Kids grow up. That's kind of the whole point.

And Ree needs to learn how to use the dodge and burn tool in Photoshop because that portrait of Alex goes into the uncanny valley. She should go take lessons from Elena Shumilova.

Screenshots!

315xusx.jpg

11agvww.jpg

Edited by Automne
  • Love 3
Lura

Lura

I think the Drummonds speak their own language.  We always say stick of butter, not cube.  If I saw cube in a recipe, I'd think of a square.  Ree seems to speak her own language sometimes.  It seems like everything she makes is miraculous.

Speaking of football, one thing that never fails to give me a chuckle is the Pawhuska Homecoming Parade and how excited Ree pretends to be.  C'mon, it's not exactly Macy's, but it does have big, bruisin' Coach Ladd and his team and a bored looking Todd dangling his feet off the back of a flatbed.  Go team!

  • Love 2
mamadani

mamadani

Is she still on about Alex leaving? She better get ready because doesn't Paige leave next year? I don't know about you all but when I moved in with my husband, my mom was ready for me to go lol. 

I have picked up her magazine at the store and flipped through, not much to read, mostly pictures, didn't catch my interest at all. At least the gossip rags have articles!

  • Love 2
Automne

Automne

4 hours ago, mamadani said:

Is she still on about Alex leaving? She better get ready because doesn't Paige leave next year? I don't know about you all but when I moved in with my husband, my mom was ready for me to go lol. 

I have picked up her magazine at the store and flipped through, not much to read, mostly pictures, didn't catch my interest at all. At least the gossip rags have articles!

Yeah, the magazine, for as long as it is, doesn't really have articles. Like the page about Alex leaving for college is the longest article I've seen thus far in the issue. Her magazine is basically her blog. Ree would fluff up her posts with 945793487283457423 pictures because the actual post was only like seven sentences long.

  • Love 3
cathy

cathy

Boy, just got a look at the "In touch" article.  They show her driving offenses, and that she was sued in 2005 for "indebtedness."  Weren't they rich back then too?  Her brother was arrested for 2 DUIs.  I wonder in what state?  They did not mention that Ree's nephew commited suicide last year.  Or Thatcher Drummond's arrest for DIU and punching a police man in the face.  I looked at the lost ogle.  on the comments section someone said that the Marlboro woman's twitter count was now private.  Maybe she is being harassed?  That is more evidence that the Drummonds are not the nice, down-home folks they pretend to be. At least the mainstream media is beginning to see her for what she really is.

  • Love 4
Lura

Lura

Another game!  With all of this talk about Halloween, I haven't heard anything about the big party that Ree and Ladd are undoubtedly throwing for all of the Drummonds and scads of friends.  Who will Ree and Ladd dress up as?  Who will other family members be?  And what goodies will Ree be throwing together to impress their guests with her creativity?  Inquiring minds want to know!

I see Ladd and Ree as King Arthur and Guinevere with her flowing red hair.  Chuck and Nan plan on being Edward G. Robinson and Marlene Dietrich.  Missy would make a comely Marilyn Monroe, and Tim is hoping to pull off JFK.  Josh is having fittings for his matador costume a la The Man of La Mancha.  Ree's stepmother is determined to go as Scarlett O'Hara, leaving her dad to try looking like Clark Gable, no easy feat.

Ree will disappoint everyone with an ordinary dark chocolate cake, orange frosting and orange and black sprinkles all over the place.  She's working on something with black spun sugar to look like spider webs.  I hear that her cocktails may be black coffee topped with peach brandy, but she can't get it sugary enough.  Anyway, you can do better!  What's your version of the Drummond Halloween Event?

  • Love 2
mamadani

mamadani

5 hours ago, ariel said:

While Ree is crying about her baby going off to college, a lot of other parents are crying because they don't have the funds to send their children to college.  She's really out of touch with reality.

She truly is, she should be thankful her kids get to go to great colleges, because there are so many who can't. She's inevitably of those mothers that is never going to let go though, she's going through force her way into whatever her children do in life. I feel like Todd will have it the worst.

  • Love 2
peacheslatour

peacheslatour

1 hour ago, mamadani said:

She truly is, she should be thankful her kids get to go to great colleges, because there are so many who can't. She's inevitably of those mothers that is never going to let go though, she's going through force her way into whatever her children do in life. I feel like Todd will have it the worst.

Let us imagine what Ree will do to her daughters weddings. Cut the cake and start handing it out before the bride and groom even reach the reception? Show up in a white dress?

  • Love 3
peacheslatour

peacheslatour

10 minutes ago, mamadani said:

Oh god, she is definitely the mother who would show up in a white dress! Ree would insist on catering the entire event too, overly spiced chili and crazy shakes for everybody!

And force Rod and Todd to make "darling" hand painted wedding invitations featuring illustrations of The Ranch. I wonder if she would not only want to cater it with her terrible Tex Mex Ree-ations but also be the photographer and when the bride and groom get back the proofs it's all pictures of the afore mentioned  terrible food and the step by excruciating step preparations. And of course the whole thing, including the honeymoon would be splashed all over her self indulgent tripe, I mean her magazine.

  • Love 2
grisgris

grisgris

I'm dying over here!  Youze guys are so funny!  Well, I picked up "In Touch" at the grocery store. For starters, in the cover shot, Ree's eyes are retouched to look light brown. I thought her eyes were bluish-green-gray. Definitely not brown.

I'm looking forward to reading it over the weekend while I relax in a nice bath. I don't give a s*** her picture gets splashed on!

Oh, I can only imagine when her spawn tie the knot. I read her book and planning her own nuptials was bad enough. She literally had it half "country club" and half "hoe-down.) One area of the venue was high society and the other was backyard BBQ. The funniest part was that Ladd's alma mater was playing in some huge game that day, so the groom and his party actually snuck off from the reception to go downstairs to watch the game. Ree said that she didn't care and just laughed it off. (I'll bet ...)

  • Love 3
Lura

Lura

I don't know about those Drummond brides, especially after they've been away at college and out on their own for a while.  They just might develop enough starch to stand up to Ree when she begins going crazy on the wedding food.  (White sprinkles over every dessert, etc.)  I'd personally love to see Ree try to get away with making dessert troughs for every table.  I also envision Ree giving free subscriptions to her own magazine for favors.  It would be so like her. 

  • Love 4
mamadani

mamadani

(edited)

@Luna I really do hope once they've been out on their own a while they decide to stand up to her. I definitely don't see those girls staying in their hometown or on the ranch. Both Alex and Paige seem a lot more adventurous than that. Ree wants so badly for Alex to be like her though and it shows. 

Advice for the kids: don't ever introduce your future spouse to your mother, I think they would run.

Edited by mamadani
  • Love 1

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...