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S06.E05: Everybody Thinks We're Drag Queens

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Aviva can go away any time now.  Sick of the leg story.  She looked genuinely dismayed with the WWHL poll results last night.  Girl just does not GET it.  She strikes me as one of those who believes that if she just keeps on talking and making her point, victory will be hers!

The first half-hour of this episode was very funny--kind of an instant classic of HW craziness.  Then team Drescher sweeps in and we're left with another endless round of the tale that will not fade.  And feeling bad because no one wants to dwell repeatedly on such a terrible event happening to anyone, much less a little kid. BUT she's such a drag and so phony that it turns into I DON'T CARE.  Not a good vibe.  Her husband?  Ugh ... 

I can only hope that Sonja is playing up her Mad Woman of Chaillot impersonation for the cameras and that there will be some arc or resolution to her story by season's end.  Loved her striped hat at the beach and her brunch looked tasty and fun.  

Heather needs to chill out and mind her own business.  Carole needs to eat something substantial and stop feeding the crazy.   I remain convinced that Sonja and Ramona are intent on providing Aviva with a false sense of security and will be happy to see her go down, dragging Carole along behind her.   Neither of them has forgotten the vile things she unloaded on them last season.  I know I certainly wouldn't. 

LuAnn and Kristen for the win.  Kristen makes me chuckle and the Countess handled the kerfuffle at her dinner party beautifully

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Boy, is Aviva the best self well-wisher ever or what? I thought she'd dislocate her shoulder from patting herself on the back so much.  I loved her little digs at the poor Becky woman, saying it was no one's fault but implying it was most certainly the 7 yr old's fault.  I'm with those of you who say the whole email from Becky and the trip to the "scene of the crime" were contrived. So convenient that this trip aligned with her "memoir".

I guess since there was a law suit it would explain why there was a gap of 35 years between the two women.  I was thinking the whole time watching it that wouldn't the Morgan family have made some contact after the accident?

 And Aviva, I highly doubt that Becky's first thoughts as she walked down the aisle or delivered her first born were about YOU. The freakin' sun isn't as egocentric as this woman.

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Aviva can go away any time now.  Sick of the leg story.  She looked genuinely dismayed with the WWHL poll results last night.  Girl just does not GET it.  She strikes me as one of those who believes that if she just keeps on talking and making her point, victory will be hers!

What surprised me was that Aviva was given a chance on WWHL to explain/take back/apologize for her "Heather and Carole verbally raped me" comment and she chose to do none of those things.  Instead, she just said, "Puh-leeaze." 

Sonja and her teeth.  There are no words...

I find it hysterical that Bravo continues to identify Amanda as an "Image Consultant" on screen when apparently she's a stylist.  (If she really is an image consultant, she's like the worst one ever.)  Aviva was doing her best to distance herself from Amanda last night on WWHL without actually insulting her (figuring she probably doesn't need that woman as an enemy). 

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BusyOctober:  "Boy, is Aviva the best self well-wisher ever or what?"  LOL!  (Like Sonja said,  "Oops, need to put the vibrator away!")  It's definitely Vivs all the time, all the way, and all included.  This chick takes NO prisoners and will hunt you down on your upstate farm to make certain you join her in the feeling and the healing. On camera and with hubcab in tow. Complete with monologues on the way up, the way down, and in-between. 

I tend to suffer from bouts of the blues and the kind of low self-esteem that old age can bring so am going to try to be my own best self well-wisher and see where it lands me.  Thanks for the hilarity. Because self well-wishing is where it's at. 

Edited by copacabana
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This is the first season I've watched so maybe I don't get where all the Aviva hatred comes from… but aside from whatever she may have said or done, I applaud her a lot for going back to the site where her accident happened. It couldn't have been the easiest thing to do. And she did it to prove to herself she wasn't afraid of it anymore. That kind of thing takes courage. I'm sure it was planned to help with the writing of her memoir but wouldn't it sort of be necessary for her to return to the site where it happened so she could write about it more vividly? 

I like Kristen- she always says pretty much exactly what I'm thinking. They are STILL talking about the stupid book thing?

Don't know what's up with that image consultant butting in everywhere. Maybe they're testing her for a possible addition to the show?

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BogoGog24 -- That's a valid point and a good observation.  For me, what doesn't work with the Aviva story is that she seems unable to comprehend that just because somehow hasn't happened to HER it can still wound and be hurtful and upsetting.  In my experience, folks who have suffered trauma tend to have a natural sympathy and understanding for others.  I don't see this in her.  She's disrespectful in ways that tend to go beyond the norm when she doesn't get her way.  Going for the jugular repeatedly when you've been hurt does little to promote your passions. 

If Carole did have anything ghostwritten, and I don't believe she did in the sense that Aviva comprehends it, it was not  Viv's business to put it on blast.  Certainly not when the "What Remains" appears to spring out of the central trauma of Carole's life. Neither Carole's books nor Aviva's are significant works of literature in any category and never will be -- there was simply no reason to go there.  But she did because she could and seemed to have nothing better to do.  This to me equals tacky and vengeful.

Calling Sonja and Ramona out on being drunks and white-trash, etc etc -- Again, total over reaction to disappointment on A's part.  One doesn't expect this of co-workers or friends.  She's comes to knife fights packed with an Uzi everytime and so ends up diminishing her cause and disrespecting herself.  Her colleagues don't care for it.  I don't either and now she's firmly entrenched the way Sonja's teeth should be. 

It seems clear that she has never been raped or sodomized.  And I'm glad for that but, wow, you know, she could get a grip.  The worst thing that ever happened to her in terms of sheer blunt trauma was obviously this ghastly accident.  But that don't mean that she's the only creature on this earth to have been gobsmacked. She would have been smart to go back to showing her work with children and young people who have lost limbs if she wanted to make a point. 

Or, dare I say it?, to give the topic a rest and show us life as she knows it  in reality. She's got no class. 

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No matter what happens, or who it happens to, Aviva can make everything about her.  She was upset when Heather said "motherfucker," yet she used those same words when she spoke to the machine that injured her.  And she's even more vile on her blog.  So Heather is ghetto and a thug, but you're a saint?  Oh please, no canonization for Saint Aviva-Diva today.

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Why is rape Aviva's go-to for everything?  Last season, she says to Ramona about kicking George out of the women's abuse fundraiser, "It's not like he raped anyone!" 

And now she's been verbally "raped." 

Pick a new word, Aviva!  You've told us you speak 400 languages and understand everything, so stop using rape for shock value.

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OK. I read everyone's posts before I watched the episode and I wished I hadn't watched. 

What a hypocrite Aviva is! She kept saying to her childhood "friend" that the accident was no one's fault but doesn't mention the lawsuit. Does she think viewers are stupid? At no time does she bring this up. I think this whole story was a set up just to make her look noble and courageous. Her "friend" seemed very uncomfortable.

Sonja is so hard to watch. I'm all for being sexy at any age but she needs to learn to be less obvious. One can be sexy without yelling at the world, "Look at me. I'm so hot!" 

I tire of bookgate. And I question Sonja's motives for her friendship with Aviva.

I didn't care much for Carol and Heather last year when they overlooked Aviva and her dad constantly. So my opinion about them hasn't changed.

Right now, the new girl (whatever her name is) is the only one not Looney. 

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I seriously want to go to Sonja's Borrowed House in The Hampton's this summer and Polident (aka pooly-dent) our teeth in together. We can then get rip-roaring drunk and verbally rape Aviva Drescher while running around the house in our underwear and red wigs until we pass out. That? Sounds like a hoot. The rest of this episode? Yawn. Although I will begrudgingly admit it was good to see the Countess de le Schweppes again and she really did try to handle that battle of the witless wonders with a modicum of decorum. Ugh. Amanda. Just. Ugh. I have to give Heather credit for not slapping the bitch off her face. 

I'm personally unnerved by being forced to witness Carol in various states of undress. It's really off-putting. The woman looks downright anorexic. I'm hoping summer is almost over in this season so they can start wearing clothes again.

And. I'm SO going to hell for secretly wishing Reid would've pushed Aviva face down into that moving turnstile thingy in the barn of lost limbs when he had the chance. I haven't felt so much disdain and outright hatred towards another human being, well, ever.  She's really got that narcissistic martyr thing down to a science. She's just absolutely the worst. And that is saying something since most of the women on these RH shows are pretty horrible. I so almost peed my pants when she was sitting in the dermatologists office with the mask of Jason on her face, spewing on about verbal rape. Good. Lord. 

Kristen is the only one not on my nerves at this point, although I'm sure that will change eventually once the new shine wears off. 

Edited by PatsyStone
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Is anyone watching that train wreck show Lindsay? Because that was all I could think about when Sonja's veneer fell out. I realize Lindsay's dentist would use something stronger than Polident - probably more like cement, but no way in hell does the reattachment of a veneer necessitate fentanyl, propofol & Valium.

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Fran Drescher was brutally raped while her husband, at the time, was tied up & made to watch.  Aviva casually throws around the term rape (& tells people to lighten up about it on WWHL) in order for us to believe she was traumatized by a verbal smackdown?  The fact that she actually knows someone who has lived through that kind of violation & compares an argument to it is the most vile thing I have ever witnessed.  The fact that Reid, who is Fran's cousin, hasn't corrected her on it makes him just as vile. (WWHL was live & recent & that is where she was like "get over it" so I have to assume Reid has not said anything to her).

At this point Aviva could do a complete turn around & become the kindest person on the planet & she won't change my opinion of her. 

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Oh, gosh. I almost wish I could side with Carole and Heather because it would make the show so much easier to watch but I can't because they're wrong. To clarify, I also think Aviva and Amanda were wrong. But Carole and Heather just try to sweep everything they do under the rug and shout until people focus on the things they want to focus on. Also, all of these women are terrible at arguing. They just keep changing tactics. They'll start as the person shouting and then switch and ask "why are you shouting? There's no need to shout." It's so frustrating.

Amanda and Heather had no place being in that argument. If seconds were needed, they could have weighed in, but let's be honest, Heather and Amanda both just wanted screen time and didn't contribute anything.

Just like Aviva, when Carole tells her version of what happened, she conveniently forgets things and repeats that version of the truth so often that it brainwashes everyone.

The second half with the parade and the farm were so boring. 

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Carole needs to eat something substantial and stop feeding the crazy.

Oh my God, that's the kind of snarky thing these women wish they could come up with.

The new cast members are dominating too much. I hope Carole and Luann get into it again. I'm not comfortable with Carole electing herself Queen Bee. I cringed at the stupid mermaid BFF's poem but otherwise, I think she's in full Queen Bee mode finding ways to corral the group and cut out the people she doesn't like. It's important to not make too many enemies on this show because you need someone to film with and I think Carole is managing that well by trying to shut Aviva out. I would guess that's the reason why she seems upset in the next episode with Ramona and Sonja not falling in line.

Sonja continues to be a mess but I will give her credit for putting out what looked like a good spread for her brunch.

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Amanda and Heather had no place being in that argument. If seconds were needed, they could have weighed in, but let's be honest, Heather and Amanda both just wanted screen time and didn't contribute anything.

That's right. If it weren't for Aviva, neither would have a reason to be there.  It makes no difference that Amanda doesn't know any of the ladies and Heather does. Both are groping for any reason to get their saggy boobs (Amanda) and saggy mug (Heather) on screen.

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Kathcart   Many thanks -- you are too kind.  All the best back at you.  

I rewatched some of the first 20 minutes and was amused to see that Aviva not only doesn't know how to pronounce "femme fatale" but also appears not to know what it means!  Vassar indeed!

Also caught a bizarre moment I missed first time around -- Amanda doing a weird little dance move in the background as Heather goes after Reid, Aviva, and the trainer sans fedora.  I couldn't tell if she was playing around with Sonja who on the other side of the frame, also in background, or mocking her for her burlesque or both.  Pretty amusing. 

Heather needs to stop being Carole's wing man and show us some of where she lives in NYC. The cursing and swearing doesn't bother me -- I've a sailor's mouth too when I get angry -- but there's no substitute for showing us where you live.  Sonja to her great credit has been very generous in that respect.  I feel like I'm on almost intimate terms with her bedroom.  And I like her kitchen and little toaster oven recipes.  It's a shame she let that drop in favour of her weird and really dreadful Gypsy routines. 

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Moving this over from TWOP:

Ok so I finally got to see this episode ondemand and I have to ask, no one mentioned Carol's mermaid friendship poem?!?!?? Did I miss the snarking on that? What the hell was that? And I loved Luanne's incredulous, WTF, "does this mean we're mermaid friends?" Because seriously? What do you say when your 50 year old frienenemy makes you sit in a circle in the sand a recite a friendship poem? Oh Carol. A day without creating an exclusive circle for the express purpose of pointing out who's not invited is like a day without sunshine for you, isn't it? I stopped being friends with women like Carol around 25 or so and I have found that when spending so much energy looking down on people I have much more time for hobbies, such as reading blogs full of proper punctuation.

I had a horrible moment when Aviva was in the barn demonstrating her accident when I really wanted the machine to turn on. Hehe. My black little heart finds such things funny.

I think Carol and Aviva are in contest to see who can be the biggest asshole. Right now they're neck and neck. I can't wait to see how this turns out.

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It was very unfortunate that in the opening credits when we hear the line "They will think we are Drag Queens" that the next image was of the Countess. You think they planned that? Yeah I think so too. Somebody has it in for the Countess.

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FozzyBear, the friendship poem was a real WTF moment for me too.  Whenever I watch these shows I invariably find myself wondering if the women all have issues with arrested development.  Is she 13 and trying to bind with her besties through a crappy poem?  

Even though rating shave been down I want this show to continue.  Weirdly, I feel bad for the train wreck that is Sonja.  She needs the money from this show pretty desperately.  Of course, I would prefer if she didn't do another bad burlesque routine.  My eyes, they bleed!

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