PatsyStone

Oh totally. If by holistic, we really mean, let's inject our face with toxins not even approved by the FDA and dye our hair with enough peroxide to kill a small horse. And by toxic free, we really mean, let's only eat Taco Bell supremes - without the sour cream - two times a week. And by hospital grade air filtration system, we really mean, I just got a face lift, a nose job and half of my face sandpapered off by a Stihl power saw and I need to live in a hermetically sealed cocoon in order for my skin to heal. And by no wi-fi, we really mean, BITCH IS CRAZY. Ohhhhhhhhh. Kay.

That? Was awesome. Ha. I agree that Kenya is a total nut bag. TOTAL. And I can completely understand why Porsha went all crazy on her ass. But. Porsha is hardly perfect. She's gotten pretty catty with Kenya as well. She's naive and a little stupid, so I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, I can't stand when these bitches start throwing around the term bully and verbal rape (oh Aviva, really?) when they know full well what they're signing up for. This is Bravo people. We're about two levels up from Jerry Springer here. C'mon. Don't act all sanctimonious on me now...

Ugh. Jackie. Really? Getting high with and then getting sucked off by some shady 20-year old in a dirty bathroom while your super sweet cop boyfriend is up on stage being all cute? So low. Even for you. That was nasty. And I can't believe how distant she is with the girls. This isn't going to end well...

I loved how Shannon said her husband didn't think an Aries could be satisfied or something like that and he responded back that he didn't think a Sagittarius could satisfy an Aries which made a whole world of sense to him once he heard it. Then, she said, yes, and that's why he's constantly bringing it up. Even though, well, SHE brought it up. Ha. That whole dinner had me cracking up. To the points above, she had about 10 people in that kitchen and they still couldn't get it together. Yikes. Shannon is crazy for sure but I did have to giggle when she said, I'm someone who greens my entire house, yet drives an SUV. I want to be healthy, but I don't exercise. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Or something to that effect. At least she can own up to her crazy a little bit.

For any of these women to sit up there and think they're above any other woman on that stage is laughable. They all suck equally. Well, maybe Cynthia and Kandi are redeemable. Maybe. I can't stand Kenya, but Porsha can dish it out just as good as Kenya can. She yells and screams and is overbearing and obnoxious. She can blame whatever that psychotic break was on the stress of just being divorced and having cameras follow her around non-stop or she can make the choice not to be on the show if it's all too much for her. Please. She's a whore to the fame, just like the rest of them. I have no sympathy for Porsha. None. Kenya is cracked. Everyone knows that. Don't let the crazy get the better of you ladies, just laugh it off or better yet, pay no attention to her at all. The attention and drama is what she craves the most so just stop feeding the beast. Kandi and Cynthia seem to understand this to some degree and keep their mouths shut or just roll their eyes at her ridiculousness. NeNe needs to get bent. That permascowl is getting tiresome and the divalicious attitude was funny about three seasons ago. NeNe, sweetie, you're no Hollywood supastah and you never will be. What little fame and fortune you have managed to gain is oh, so fleeting, so don't bite the hand that feeds you, honey. Boooooooooop. Phaedra is functioning with the mental capacity of a 10-year old. She's married to a felon with anger management issues and a roving, er, eye. Her silly little comments and crinkly puffy faces are about all we can expect from her as she's not nearly intelligent enough to converse in a manner that is logical or formulate any witty comebacks to the NeNe/Kenya putdowns. How this woman has managed to graduate from any educational system is beyond my comprehension. Cynthia is boring but I do think she's harmless for the most part. Her desperation to be best buddies with NeNe is sad and her marriage to Peter is sadder. She needs to stop letting people walk all over her and grow some balls already. Her storyline never changes. I think if she cleaned house she'd be a lot better off. I still have hope that she'll end up with Leon. Kandi just needs to get the hell off this show. She has actual talent and seems like a decent person. All these women are just pulling her into their vortex of suckitude and have been for years. Be free, Kandi! I hope this season is her last.

Is this going to be the last season? I agree that I'm over the Hank/Karen yo-yomance. Either do it or don't. And, the whole story line with Levon was so completely predictable from the second he appeared on screen. I think that even some of the usually biting and witty dialogue is getting lame. "Cummus"? C'mon Hank, you can do better. Oh well. Of course I'll stick it out but I'm hoping this is the final season.

Oh gawd. I don't know if I can do another season of these loony tunes. I've just had it so up to my eyeballs with Vicki. I think I'm about woo-hooed out. I can't deal with the Brooks/Brianna bullshit anymore. Please don't force that plot line down our throats for another entire season. Who cares? And, I really don't need an entire season focused around Brianna moving to OK either. It's like Yolo, Kim and Ramona dealing with their daughters going off to college. Let's move on. Vicki will be absolutely unwatchable with all of the self-pitying theatrics that will ensue. And Heather? You're not cute. Or funny. Or as perfect as you'd like us all to believe. I'm not even going to get into that HOUSE. Can Terry be making that much money as a plastic surgeon? I agree with this assessment. Something is off with her. Maybe she's going through menopause or something. There is an air of desperation about her with her worrying about all the young hotties at the gym. Or maybe she's just finally realized Eddie is gay. I'm not liking the new one thus far. Did she say she had a DNA test done on her twins to be sure they were hers? Wha? It does look like she's gonna bring the crazy later on in the season though. So, there's that.

Ahhhh. That was so deeply satisfying. See ya Joff! I had absolutely NO idea it was coming and it was glorious! Glorious! Even when he was choking, at first I thought it was all an act, like it was all part of his grand spectacle of humiliation. I thought he'd end up spinning around to face all the horrified (and relieved) onlookers, laughing his evil little laugh, and relishing in the thought that they would all be absurd enough to believe someone would have the audacity to murder the King! I was so happy that wasn't the case. I need to re-watch the Olenna/Sansa necklace scene. If what is being speculated is the case, I think Olenna and Dontos hatched the plan but Sansa was unaware of her part in the grand scheme. Dontos's mysterious return and his gift to Sansa all make sense now. I thought there was something odd about that exchange in last week's episode. I did have the slightest suspicion that it could have been Cersei. There was a split second there, while she was looking down at the bloated, bleeding Joffrey, where I thought I saw a thin smile pass over her lips. Oh man! I can't wait to see where all of this is headed!

I had the same suspicion about the necklace, but upon re-watch, I paid particular attention and izabella you are correct that the necklace thrown into the bushes was gold and very clunky. Far different from the pretty, dainty one Dontos gave to Sansa. I also agree that something is up with that necklace exchange. Why even show it, or bring Dontos back into the fray, if it didn't have some significance.

I seriously want to go to Sonja's Borrowed House in The Hampton's this summer and Polident (aka pooly-dent) our teeth in together. We can then get rip-roaring drunk and verbally rape Aviva Drescher while running around the house in our underwear and red wigs until we pass out. That? Sounds like a hoot. The rest of this episode? Yawn. Although I will begrudgingly admit it was good to see the Countess de le Schweppes again and she really did try to handle that battle of the witless wonders with a modicum of decorum. Ugh. Amanda. Just. Ugh. I have to give Heather credit for not slapping the bitch off her face. I'm personally unnerved by being forced to witness Carol in various states of undress. It's really off-putting. The woman looks downright anorexic. I'm hoping summer is almost over in this season so they can start wearing clothes again. And. I'm SO going to hell for secretly wishing Reid would've pushed Aviva face down into that moving turnstile thingy in the barn of lost limbs when he had the chance. I haven't felt so much disdain and outright hatred towards another human being, well, ever. She's really got that narcissistic martyr thing down to a science. She's just absolutely the worst. And that is saying something since most of the women on these RH shows are pretty horrible. I so almost peed my pants when she was sitting in the dermatologists office with the mask of Jason on her face, spewing on about verbal rape. Good. Lord. Kristen is the only one not on my nerves at this point, although I'm sure that will change eventually once the new shine wears off.