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Doug and Marsadie: Home Birth!

Meredith Quill

By Meredith Quill
in Rattled [V]

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Maharincess

Maharincess

These people absolutely infuriated me. The husband seemed like he was more concerned with being right than he was the health of his baby.

Him talking about filing suit against the hospital because they wanted to keep the baby to make sure she didn't go into a coma was the most asinine thing I've ever heard.

Were they planning a home birth with just the two of them in attendance?! He said they were doing a home birth but I didn't see any other people there.

These people don't deserve to have kids. The idiot has 3 children but didn't know what a bassinet was?

  • Love 8
jennyf

jennyf

I totally missed him saying that they had planned a home birth and I was wondering why they didn't go to the hospital when her water had broken 2 hours earlier.

His tshirts were embarrassing and his attitude at the hospital was awful. The doctors and nurses are telling you your newborn's blood sugar isn't stable and you think you know better? I just can't. Nice that they got donated pumped milk but formula is not poison (which he was basically implying.)

I'm curious to see what how he handles life with a newborn when they get their baby home.

  • Love 2
poopchute

poopchute

What a douche. At first I thought, okay well her water broke but then things just progressed too quickly and they couldn't make it to the hospital. But then he said they were planning to do it at home! Based on what?! This is a couple that doesn't even seem to have one item of baby gear and they are somehow prepared to do a home birth? Why was this never explained in more detail? I feel bad for her because she said something about really wanting it to work because she didn't have a father growing up and I was just thinking, uh it's obviously not going to work out with this moron.

  • Love 3
Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

These two made my blood boil! "you're holding our child hostage!" Dude, its a hospital. And Marsadie, honey, you do not have to leave your baby "alone". My son was in NICU for the first six weeks of his life and parents were welcome 24 hours a day. She could have sat right next to her baby's crib the whole time if she wanted!  

I can't fault her too much, she mostly seems just kind of stupid. He is actually an irritating, antagonistic, belligerent twerp. 

 

Cute baby, though. 

  • Love 3
vmcd88

vmcd88

(edited)

This couple was crazy a-holes.  Why didnt the mother stay in the hospital with her baby?  To hell with going home.  So what if I'm discharged I'm sleeping somewhere in a chair somewhere near my baby.  Did I actually hear him say at some point that he was tired.   If looks could kill he'd be dead cause his girlfriend looked like she wanted to kill him.

Edited by vmcd88
  • Love 2
Paradise19

Paradise19

Home birth my ass! More like, let's not plan this out and just rely on emergency medical services to take us to the hospital in the nick of time because we don't want to get our car messy. They really do lack planning skills!

That Doug is a piece of work! If I were aware that he had three very young-looking daughters in another state, I would've been running in the other direction. They won't do well as a couple if they are only just now moving in together AND bringing a new baby into the mix.

So, he wants to sue the hospital because they want to monitor the health of the baby a few more days? Well then, you should've stuck with your home birth plan instead of relying on "Big Medicine" to help you out.

  • Love 1
Stella Rose

Stella Rose

Columbus, Ohio!  Finally my hometown makes it on TV.   Cool.

 

So, it sure seems that a lot got lost on the cutting room floor with these two - either that or I was not paying attention.  I can't believe for one second that "home birth" was ever an option. (could it have been)?   I know nothing about birthing, but how critical is time once the water breaks?   I would be freaking the eff out and flying to the nearest hospital - but how much time do you have?

 

So did they mention the baby was early?  It seems it would make more sense since they had just moved in together and hadn't gotten baby supplies yet.  

 

I had to  laugh at the editing monkeys constantly showing how completely unprepared these two were.  Especially when they cut it to contrast with the other couple who appear to have color coded diaper changes, feedings, and naps scheduled in between meetings and running payroll. 

 

Doug reminds me a lot of someone I know who is really quite funny - but sometimes he goes that one step too far...  never quite knowing where that "Beep-beep, Ritchie" line is). 

Paradise19

Paradise19

Doug didn't bother me as bad in this 2nd episode. It's nice that he has the option to stay with the baby and work from home(?). That's the message I got. His partner Mars does seem to be several years behind in maturity. I'm sure a lot of it was hormones but when they were on the phone with the NICU staff, she was crying and carrying on in the background, demanding to know why she is being singled out, why her infant is being kept, she just doesn't understand, etc. Geez, people, just let the NICU staff do their job! The lady on the phone sounded so flustered in dealing with them.

I'm glad to see they got to take the baby home. I can almost cut the resentment with a knife, after Mars got home from her first day of work. It's all too true; of course the baby would be no problem for Doug on his first day of watching her. I wonder if that will be their permanent arrangement or if they'll find another sitter. Like I said, Doug didn't come off as bad this episode. Just more of a younger-mindset type of guy. The poster above me said it better, like he pushes people's buttons and doesn't even realize it. A funny wise guy who isn't so funny at times.

  • Love 2
Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

Yeah, I've softened on Doug quite a bit, I found him funny. Taking the baby to the restaurant and eating over the front pack? Gold. I laughed like a hyena. He could be a little more solicitous of Mars right now, she's fragile--going back to work at six weeks can't be a picnic! But Mars, honey, lighten up. You have a pretty good guy and a real cute baby and things will be just fine. 

  • Love 1
StayingAfterSunday

StayingAfterSunday

I find Mars much more unlikable than I do him.  So she had an absent father; yet, she is going to replay the same scenario with her own daughter? Surely she knew better conceiving a child with a divorced, father of three, who is twice her age.  Didn't she say something about having a child in order to bring her and Doug together?  I got the impression they did not see each other with any regularity and that they didn't even know each other all that well.

Then, in the scene where she is wailing on the couch for Doug to help her get dressed; give me a break...

What's worse is her acting as though she is just a "set of boobs" to the baby, when in all likelihood she is probably jumping for joy that she gets to go out and do her thing while Doug cares for Sophia.  Sorry, she gets no sympathy from me. Mars brought this on herself. 

  • Love 2
Stella Rose

Stella Rose

(edited)

Yeah, I've softened on Doug quite a bit, I found him funny. Taking the baby to the restaurant and eating over the front pack? Gold. I laughed like a hyena. He could be a little more solicitous of Mars right now, she's fragile--going back to work at six weeks can't be a picnic! But Mars, honey, lighten up. You have a pretty good guy and a real cute baby and things will be just fine. 

I thought the same thing.  Again, funny as fuck (maybe his timing is off...)  Okay, no maybe about it.  He suffers from rotten-timing-itis.. but at least he HAS a sense of humor.  Not sure there is another sense of humor to appeal to.  ( don't mean to poke if she has PPD or some other issue, but  criminy!  who said it best - "Lighten up Mars."

Edited by Stella Rose
VioletNevermind

VioletNevermind

(edited)

Ugh. I wanted to like this show enough to add it to my increasingly vapid TLC rotation, but this douchelord has single-handedly ruined it for me. Filing suit against the hospital for keeping a baby for one more night that they deem at-risk? Does he not want his baby to be healthy or what? *Plenty* of people have to leave their babies at the hospital for a hell of a lot longer than a couple of nights. They would do well to keep in mind that some parents don't get to bring their babies home-- ever. Why didn't she sleep in the hospital with the baby? No hospital in this nation would have stopped her/them from doing so. And Doug, you're tired?! He reminds me so much of my ex-husband who stood over my hospital bed nine hours into the birth of my daughter literally AS I pushed and said that he was going to have to "get going if this didn't start to move along." Mars, girlfriend, you made your own bed with your litigious hunk o' man there.

These two remind me of how much I admire nurses. They aren't paid enough to deal with this bullshit.

Edited by SuzyLee
Squirrely

Squirrely

Agreed! I wanted to alternately hug her and shake her too! She's so wound up, she wants to do everything right, and she's afraid she doesn't love her baby. I just want to make her a cup of tea.

Me too. And babies sense this. If she's agitated or nervous, baby picks up on the stress and can end up upset.

Their situation is nothing at all like mine was as a first-time mom, but anyone who's been there can at least -hopefully- sympathize because the insane hormone hurricane going on inside you is no joke.

  • Love 1
Squirrely

Squirrely

You know, I was actually with Doug in his stance on not pushing formula (I'm NOT calling it poison, or even debating breast vs bottle). So many new moms are made to feel like failures because their milk hasn't come in in an unreasonably short amount of time. It's perfectly normal for it to take up to several days, and any interference slows the process down and can have a big negative impact on nursing.

But he totally lost me with his outbursts over them wanting to keep the baby and monitor her blood sugar levels. There's a huge difference between a little jaundice and concerns of a coma! And yeah, my ass would not have been leaving the hospital.

  • Love 1
Neurochick

Neurochick

(edited)

If the baby needs formula to make her well and possibly save her life, give her the fucking formula!! The mom's wants, needs and feelings don't matter when a baby's health is at stake.

 

So true.  Over twenty years ago I volunteered in a maternity ward in a public hospital, helping the nurses with newborns who were addicted to, you name it, and many of them her HIV+.  We had to give them formula because the mothers wouldn't come to the hospital to feed them; sometimes you had to use a pit to open the nipple because some of them had problems sucking; oh, and I don't think babies get confused between the nipple and the bottle, whenever I'd hold one, they'd ALL turn their head straight to where the breast was (and this happened no matter who held them, male or female).  

 

I think the main issue with this couple is that they really weren't a couple before Marsadie got pregnant.  She even said they lived in different places.  Doug probably thought she was hot and they had a lot of sex, then she got pregnant.  I got annoyed with her when she said she didn't have a dad growing up, I was like, "girl, why didn't you get MARRIED before you got pregnant."  Not because of any type of moral issue, just so they could have built a life as a couple, lived together, done things together, and then had a baby.  What this looks like to me are two virtual strangers living together with a baby they created.  I hope they work it out for the baby's sake.

Edited by Neurochick
  • Love 4
Neurochick

Neurochick

Like I said before, the main issue with them is they were not a couple before Marsadie got pregnant.  They were going out, having sex, having a good time.  Now they're getting to know each other's ways, living together, with a new baby.  The other couples had been together for a long time before they got pregnant and I think that makes a difference.  I also think it makes a difference they're the only couple who aren't married.  They just don't seem to have that closeness, the trust, that intimacy.  I think that's why Doug got pissed when Marsadie told him she lost her job.  He's probably wondering if this was her master plan or something, get pregnant and have some guy support you.  (hate to say this but I went to college with plenty of girls who either did this, or majored in it)  He doesn't have that trust when it comes to her.

  • Love 3
Stella Rose

Stella Rose

Damn NeuroChick, do you do this for a living?  Very nicely put.  I see two decent people in a very difficult and awkward, (to say the least) position.

 

New relationship - check

New baby - check

On a TV show - What the fuck?

 

That has to add about 100% to the stress level.  (And I know, everyone thinks "You know what you are getting when you sign up" but no way could you mentally process the idea of  a new baby ON CAMERA  v. the reality of it.  Now to add in the horrors of social media....Yikes.

 

I try to only read here - this really is the most civilized group on the internet, but if you see the comments made on other forums, it is unreal,.  I saw one that struck me - that CPS should be called because Doug ate soup with the baby strapped to his chest.  I am wondering what planet these folks live in that CPS can show up for soup abuse.  I want to live there!

 

Back on topic - I truly hope these two can find their way to understanding and appreciating each other - and be happy raising this beautiful baby together. 

  • Love 2
Neurochick

Neurochick

Back on topic - I truly hope these two can find their way to understanding and appreciating each other - and be happy raising this beautiful baby together

 

 

I hope so too, but you know what?  Folks are cynical these days.  We see too much.  Too much Dateline and Dr. Phil and Judge Judy.  People have seen this before, I've seen this before.  A lot of life is a crap shoot, they may work it out but there are so many red flags with them.

 

Marsadie mentioned that she grew up without a father, so why have a baby with a man you're a) not married to and b) really don't have a relationship with?

 

Doug shouldn't get so upset with Marsadie because if he didn't want to have another baby, he should have gotten involved with a woman his age.  

 

But they never had the chance to progress as a couple, the way the other couples have, and that's why they have a lot going against them.  They're like two teenagers who got pregnant and had a shotgun wedding, sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't.

Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

I feel so bad for both of them. They don't even know how to begin to try and deal with their problems. I think they're both good people and could even be a good couple, but they have so much to learn about communicating with each other. That baby is just as cute as can be and seems to be a really laid back mellow baby. Poor Mars is so overwhelmed she can't be rational but she is trying. I hope they continue with therapy! I like them.

  • Love 2
StayingAfterSunday

StayingAfterSunday

Like I said before, the main issue with them is they were not a couple before Marsadie got pregnant.  They were going out, having sex, having a good time.  Now they're getting to know each other's ways, living together, with a new baby.  The other couples had been together for a long time before they got pregnant and I think that makes a difference.  I also think it makes a difference they're the only couple who aren't married.  They just don't seem to have that closeness, the trust, that intimacy.  I think that's why Doug got pissed when Marsadie told him she lost her job.  He's probably wondering if this was her master plan or something, get pregnant and have some guy support you.  (hate to say this but I went to college with plenty of girls who either did this, or majored in it)  He doesn't have that trust when it comes to her.

 

Exactly,  Because that is exactly how it appears to many of us viewers, too.  Mars says she went for a job interview at 8 months pregnant and got the job, but then -- boo, hoo -- she got laid off.   Double boo-hoo.   How long did she think she would be working there, anyway, if she was eight months pregnant?  Is it a trade secret or something that pregnancies usually culminate in a birth when the expectant mother is around 8.5 to 9 months along (give or take)?

I just can't feel sorry for her as it seems she's watched too many of the 16 and pregnant shows that reward these young, unwed moms by giving them money, media exposure and fame (temporary as it may be).  Besides all of the obstacles already stacked against Doug and Mars, is the fact that they are not 16 years old, and when they try to act as though they had no idea what to expect, etc. etc. it makes them both look foolish. 

 

Let's hope they had enough foresight to know that unlike MTV, TLC is not going to give them a continuous, albeit limited, ride on the baby train.

trimthatfat

trimthatfat

I think it will take serious work for their relationship to work out. It was clear in the first episode that the baby was not planned and that Doug and Mars were not a traditional couple. So not only do they have to figure out co-parenting, but they have to figure out how to be together as a couple in general. I do not envy them.

  • Love 1
Stella Rose

Stella Rose

If anyone is interested...

 

Doug and Mars on facebook   https://www.facebook.com/dougandmars/   They have more recent pics of the baby - she has gotten so big and is even more adorable.

 

Doug has a book...http://www.amazon.com/Colorblind-Doug-Fernbacher-ebook/dp/B01C4V1JO8/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1456514839&sr=8-1

  • Love 1
Pepper Mostly

Pepper Mostly

Doug, my god. Somehow I can't get over the notion that there's a good guy in there, struggling to get out, but then he does something so boneheaded. Why the Tiffany box? Why in front of everyone? (I know, so she won't haul off and sock him, Jesus). My heart breaks for Mars, she seems so sad. She rarely seems to smile and enjoy her adorable baby.

 

Doug's daughters cracked my shit up, for real- "you're like a child trying to eat the candy with the wrapper still on" Hahhahahahaha!

  • Love 1
valen

valen

Doug, my god. Somehow I can't get over the notion that there's a good guy in there, struggling to get out, but then he does something so boneheaded. Why the Tiffany box? Why in front of everyone? (I know, so she won't haul off and sock him, Jesus). My heart breaks for Mars, she seems so sad. She rarely seems to smile and enjoy her adorable baby.

 

Doug's daughters cracked my shit up, for real- "you're like a child trying to eat the candy with the wrapper still on" Hahhahahahaha!

This. It makes me so sad to watch her. I know she said she is better since starting medication, but I wonder if she wouldn't benefit from a dosing adjustment. I don't know, because obviously, I'm not her doctor, but I hope her situation improves and she can be happy.

I would not blame her for ending the relationship. Leaving with no warning and staying gone for days, without answering the phone or texts, and leaving her to take care of the baby all alone, knowing that she struggles with PPD? That's something I probably could not forgive. 

  • Love 1
Neurochick

Neurochick

I feel for Marsadie because I really believe she was trying to break the cycle.  She said that she comes from a line of women who raised children on their own.  No bueno.  Why?  Well, if you don't see couples in partnership, how are you supposed to know how to be a partner and who is an appropriate partner?

 

What I noticed about the other couples was how they dealt with issues together.  I believe this is because they had good modeling as to how couples behave, how they deal with issues.  If Mars had been smart, she never would have partnered with Doug in the first place.  The man is Peter Pan to the tenth degree, even his daughters thought so, one even said she was more mature than he.

 

I think Mars didn’t want to be “another single, black woman raising a child.”  She knows that if she leaves Doug, her daughter might follow in her footsteps, believing that she “doesn’t need no man.”  I can see the devastating effects of this in my area.  I remember reading in Essence magazine, in the 1990’s about a woman going to a family gathering and noticing that there weren’t any men there, and then she noticed the little girls playing with dolls; they had just a mommy and children, no daddy.  They think it’s normal for a woman to have a baby and do everything herself and have no idea what daddy does.

 

If Mars leaves Doug, I hope she at least exposes her daughter to couples who are in healthy relationships, so her daughter doesn’t get the misconception that she’s destined to do everything herself and marriage is for other (hint white) people.

Anne Thrax

Anne Thrax

Poor Mars, she just lost her job you can tell she is totally stressed about it.  Instead of saying "we'll figure this out together," jerkface says "you made alot of money, you need to get another contract as soon as possible." How about a little sympathy in that moment.   

I thought Doug acted like a complete turd in that restaurant scene.  All he could do was keep exclaiming "you lost your job! you made a lot of money!  what will we do without all the money you made?"  I can't stand a man who behaves like a total baby when things go wrong -- did he expect life to always be hunky-dory or something?

 

It never occurred to Doug when Mars said she found out on Friday that SHE'd been suffering with this knowledge for 2 days before breaking it to him what I consider fairly gently.  To her credit, Mars kept her cool and told him to "just roll with it".  I mean, WTH else can she say in that situation?  

 

Suck it up and comfort your wife Doug -- you're SUPPOSED to be the man here.

  • Love 1
BitterApple

BitterApple

Well said, Neurochick. I think the problem with Mars and Doug is they're trying to forge a relationship out of something that was a "friends with benefits" kind of deal to begin with. If it weren't for Sophia, they probably wouldn't even still be together.

Doug is immature and clueless. He actually thought that stupid stunt with the Tiffany box was funny. I mean, I don't think Mars was expecting a ring, but it would've been a nice gesture to get her a bracelet or some earrings. I know Mars doesn't want to be a single mom, but I honestly think she can do better than Doug.

  • Love 3
Carolyn15

Carolyn15

On 2/15/2016 at 11:19 AM, SuzyLee said:

Ugh. I wanted to like this show enough to add it to my increasingly vapid TLC rotation, but this douchelord has single-handedly ruined it for me. Filing suit against the hospital for keeping a baby for one more night that they deem at-risk? Does he not want his baby to be healthy or what? *Plenty* of people have to leave their babies at the hospital for a hell of a lot longer than a couple of nights. They would do well to keep in mind that some parents don't get to bring their babies home-- ever. Why didn't she sleep in the hospital with the baby? No hospital in this nation would have stopped her/them from doing so. And Doug, you're tired?! He reminds me so much of my ex-husband who stood over my hospital bed nine hours into the birth of my daughter literally AS I pushed and said that he was going to have to "get going if this didn't start to move along." Mars, girlfriend, you made your own bed with your litigious hunk o' man there.

These two remind me of how much I admire nurses. They aren't paid enough to deal with this bullshit.

I work  in  a Hospital and you would be very supersized on the tests (some are required by state law ) that parents refuse to have done on their new born.  I don't have kids and it just does not make sense to me.  Kinda of sad, you ever know what  the baby might develop down the road  and could have prevented or treated if these tests would have been done.   

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