S03.E03: 15 Kids and an Empty Nest

[MMLEsq]

With the big wedding just days away the family is busier than ever. Gil and Kelly take the kids to the park for some rollerblading and playground exploring. Erin hosts a laughter filled candle making party for Michaella and her bridesmaids. Nathan, Lawson, and Trace take Brandon on an outing to the skating rink, but an accident on the ice could put the wedding in jeopardy.

[woodscommaelle]

There's something about Michael(a) that I don't care for but I can't put my finger on it.

Poor Jana looked like a fish out of water at the candle-making party.

[ChicksDigScars]

Is it Nathan that's always in the middle of the three boys couch interview? I find him obnoxious. From insisting that the boys attend the dress shopping, and then bitching about how long it was taking (earlier episode) to just being the know it all every time they're asked a question.

I didn't even realize that Jana was there until I read your post and watched the rerun the next hour. They definitely made sure not to show one of those TLC heathens on the pristine UP network.

Edited January 22, 2016 by ChicksDigScars

[cereality]

There is something about Michael and Brandon that seems ridiculously innocent . . . and platonic. When Erin asked if she was nervous for the wedding or everything after, in her interview Michael goes -- Erin thinks up things that don't even occur to me. Uh - sex on the wedding night kind of occurs to EVERYONE getting married, esp. those who marry as virgins and want to have sex for the first time. Erin was at least honest when she said she was nervous about the wedding and the kiss, but about the whole shebang afterward. Likely bc Erin and Chad have chemistry and were looking forward to sex and had probably talked about - will we try to consummate that night, the next day? Whereas Michael and Brandon probably pictured themselves sleeping in separate twin beds that night.

[Amused]

i just love this family but I find Michael and Brandon just so odd.   She's too reserved at all times and never lets her true feelings show.  Almost as if she can't let loose like the rest of the girls.   I just don't see the sweetness in her.  I see a matron who is stuck in her ways.    Now lets me on to Brandon.   He's just OFF.   He seems so fake, like he's acting in every scene.   I haven't seen the real Brandon yet.

 

And I'm not buying Michael isn't nervous about the wedding nite.  She just wasn't letting on at all.        I love that Erin called her out on that.  Erin is awesome.

[trimthatfat]

Michael and Brandon aren't fooling me. I learned years ago in college that the quiet, matronly ones are usually the ones who are freaks behind closed doors. Michael probably brings out furry pink handcuffs for Brandon at night. Hahaha. I'm kidding. If she was worried about sex, she didn't seem comfortable articulating that and I don't blame her. What an awkward thing to discuss on camera. While this family does talk about waiting and all of that jazz, I don't think they shove it down our throats quite like that other family.

Edited January 22, 2016 by trimthatfat

[IndianPaintbrush]

I understand if Michael didn't want to talk about the wedding night on camera.  I wish she had said, "I'm not discussing that" instead of pretending like Erin was crazy.  It's refreshing to hear fundie girls admit to being nervous. How could you not be?

 

Kelly doesn't seem very enthused about being Michael's matron of honor.  And I don't blame her.  The mother of the bride already has enough to do.

 

Brandon's ice skating accident - interesting how he was away from the other guys, and seemed very pensive/distracted when it happened.  This does not seem like a guy who is excited about getting married.

[MMLEsq]

I agree that, for sure, Michaella has thought about "after the wedding."  She said she wasn't nervous about anything and I don't believe that either.  I also didn't believe her when she said that she wasn't nervous about the wedding itself -- she doesn't seem like the type that would feel super comfortable getting up and being the center of attention of 500-1000 people.

 

I loved that Gil and Kelly took the youngest kids to the park without dragging along any of the older kids to help.  I also like that they realized that the kids would appreciate getting some time with Mom and Dad since the focus was getting ready to shift almost totally on the wedding. 

 

I noticed Jana right away.  Even when she was smiling, it seemed like a sad smile.  Slightly off topic, but....   I guess there's no Bates boy that's the right age for her, right?  I really would love for someone to come and sweep her off her feet and rescue her from the life she appears to have resigned herself to.

 

It was cute seeing Lawson, Nathan and Trace flirting with the two girls at the ice skating rink -- it seemed like authentic normal behavior from guys in their early 20s/late teens.  Brandon looked like he was trying to avoid talking to them at all costs.  He just seems so awkward and shy.  The cut to his head, while it looked painful, was blown a little too out of proportion I thought.        

[BitterApple]

IIRC, Zach would have been the only age appropriate Bates boy for Jana. I think Lawson is around Jinger's age.

[Absolom]

Ratings: 246,000 viewers and a .08 rating.

[Hero]

I wonder what Gil and Kelly teach the kuds about sex?

Jana would have been lucky if she would have married Zack. Although they have the same beliefs, Zack seems a bit more open minded and very sweet.

[farmgal4]

There is something about Michael and Brandon that seems ridiculously innocent . . . and platonic. When Erin asked if she was nervous for the wedding or everything after, in her interview Michael goes -- Erin thinks up things that don't even occur to me. Uh - sex on the wedding night kind of occurs to EVERYONE getting married, esp. those who marry as virgins and want to have sex for the first time. Erin was at least honest when she said she was nervous about the wedding and the kiss, but about the whole shebang afterward. Likely bc Erin and Chad have chemistry and were looking forward to sex and had probably talked about - will we try to consummate that night, the next day? Whereas Michael and Brandon probably pictured themselves sleeping in separate twin beds that night.

I'm probably way off base, but I get a vibe from Brandon that makes me think that he might prefer to play for the other team, if you know what I mean.

[IndianPaintbrush]

I read somewhere that Zach asked Jana to court, but she said no.  Poor guy had a lot of bad luck before meeting Whitney.

 

I think Zach's whole situation had a profound effect on the family.  Gil and Kelly recognized that giving their kids some leeway in who they choose to marry wasn't a bad thing.  Neither is trusting your kids to set their own "rules" as far as kissing and hand-holding. That speaks volumes about their abilities as parents, especially compared with the Duggars.

[farmgal4]

I read somewhere that Zach asked Jana to court, but she said no.  Poor guy had a lot of bad luck before meeting Whitney.

 

I think Zach's whole situation had a profound effect on the family.  Gil and Kelly recognized that giving their kids some leeway in who they choose to marry wasn't a bad thing.  Neither is trusting your kids to set their own "rules" as far as kissing and hand-holding. That speaks volumes about their abilities as parents, especially compared with the Duggars.

What exactly happened to Zach, that you're referring to here?

[BitterApple]

What exactly happened to Zach, that you're referring to here?

Before Whitney, Zach was in a courtship with Sarah Reith, however she called it off. Apparently Zach was devastated and it led Gil and Kelly to re-evaluate the way they allowed their kids to meet and court potential mates.

[cereality]

I think it's totally fine that Michael is reserved, doesn't want to talk about sex on camera etc. -- BUT it was not what she said, it was the reaction. Someone who didn't want to talk about it may have laughed or rolled their eyes or said "I don't want to talk about it" or just given you a look that said -- none of your business. Michael -- to me -- looked like sex was no big deal bc she hadn't even considered it yet and they would matter of factly have that "transaction" when the time came.

 

Every time I see Brandon, it looks to me like he read a book on how to be a good husband -- be a Godly man; be able to provide for a wife and kids; speak in soft tones with lots of smiles to let your wife know you care; be kind. He checked all those boxes, so he's getting married -- but he doesn't seem like he cares if he marries Michael, one of her sisters, some other fundie, or the girl down the street. As long as he marries and fathers children, his Godly duty is done. John and Alyssa are a fairly reserved couple too, and yet you can see there was some connection or interest there from his side. Even though he wouldn't gush like Chad about how happy he was to marry Erin, you could tell he and Alyssa had built up a bond and he wanted to marry ALYSSA -- not just marry to get it over with which is what Brandon seems to be doing.

[Hero]

Brandon doesn't seem very enthusiastic about anything. To be honest, he seems like a really boring person.

I don't believe that Michael has never thought about sex. I think she was so defensive about it because she was embarrassed. She's a very serious person.

[EtheltoTillie]

I agree that, for sure, Michaella has thought about "after the wedding."  She said she wasn't nervous about anything and I don't believe that either.  I also didn't believe her when she said that she wasn't nervous about the wedding itself -- she doesn't seem like the type that would feel super comfortable getting up and being the center of attention of 500-1000 people.

 

I loved that Gil and Kelly took the youngest kids to the park without dragging along any of the older kids to help.  I also like that they realized that the kids would appreciate getting some time with Mom and Dad since the focus was getting ready to shift almost totally on the wedding. 

 

I noticed Jana right away.  Even when she was smiling, it seemed like a sad smile.  Slightly off topic, but....   I guess there's no Bates boy that's the right age for her, right?  I really would love for someone to come and sweep her off her feet and rescue her from the life she appears to have resigned herself to.

 

It was cute seeing Lawson, Nathan and Trace flirting with the two girls at the ice skating rink -- it seemed like authentic normal behavior from guys in their early 20s/late teens.  Brandon looked like he was trying to avoid talking to them at all costs.  He just seems so awkward and shy.  The cut to his head, while it looked painful, was blown a little too out of proportion I thought.

Yeah, they didn't even have to say Nike.

[cereality]

It's possible that Michael was already a quiet type of person but has become even more reserved and serious because she ended up with Brandon. I think she really WANTS to be romanced. It's got to be hard to follow Chad - how was basically in tears every time he professed his love for Erin and his excitement for marriage; Zach - who was similar but not as over the top about it; and John -- who was quieter but still seemed to have a solid bond with Alyssa. And then you have Brandon -- who I believe is a kind person and wants to care about a wife -- but just isn't that into it; to him it's all about finding a wife, any wife, creating a family, and fulfilling his Godly duties as a man. In that he is nice to Michael - gets her flowers, write poems etc. -- bc he thinks he should, but you don't see the passion the other brothers in law had for their fiances. Couple that with the fact that Carlin (and Tori?) are freaking loud mouths, maybe that's why Michael has become even more reserved and just shuts it down when there's any discussion re relationships, sex etc.

 

I mean I don't put it past Carlin to say -- are you sure Brandon wants to marry you, he doesn't seem excited?? She's just that direct about everything. And while in the normal world, a woman may take some offense to that comment but would also think hard about it and decide that it may be time to slow down a little bit and see if the guy chases. In fundie world, Michael is sitting there thinking -- OMG I am TWENTY FIVE yrs old, my younger sisters are married, I'm not as skinny as them, this one guy has shown me interest and is kind and mom and dad approve -- I don't care if he doesn't profess his love or really really want me, he wants a wife, and I'll be a good wife -- done deal. Michael does not even want to open the door in any way where anyone can question her relationship.

[Hero]

^ I definitely agree with you,cereality. I think both Brandon and Michael just settled for each other. There seems to be some kind of forced chemistry between them.

They both seem to have the same dull personality,so they have that going for them. Buy, all that matters is that they are both happy.

What I also find kind of funny is that it's really obvious that the siblings haven't taken to Brandon. He seems distant, who can blame him, and in turn, the family is distant towards him. Chad is the favorite and it is really obvious.

Edited January 24, 2016 by Suzy123

[lookeyloo]

Well Michaella has stated she saw Brandon first and wanted him. I think it took one of his sisters to push him towards her.  So maybe she is restraining herself so as not to scare him off.  Sometimes relationships that start out very quiet can grow to very deep love and a satisfying relationship.  Like in well-arranged, arranged marriages.  Sometimes the ones that start with a fiery passion burn themselves out pretty fast.  Not saying that about Chad and Erin, because sometimes they keep on going.  Anyway it is just hard to tell from the snippets we see on TV.  

[gunderda]

Brandon reminds me of the mormon boys on 90 day fiance.  They always have a nice, almost too nice/sweet demeanor and are constantly trying to be as polite as can be but it comes off as being very fake.  

 

I did think he showed some true emotion when they asked if he was ready to get married.  I can't remember if he said he maybe wasn't ready for the day of events but did want to get married, or something to that effect. That seemed genuine. 

Michael also comes off as trying to be prim and proper all the time.  hopefully they loosened up after they got married.

[BitterApple]

Sometimes the ones that start with a fiery passion burn themselves out pretty fast. Not saying that about Chad and Erin, because sometimes they keep on going. Anyway it is just hard to tell from the snippets we see on TV.

Very true. Couples who expect the honeymoon stage to last forever usually crash and burn pretty quickly (looking at you, Bin and Jessa Seewald). I think Michael had a stronger attraction to Brandon than he did to her, but she seems happy with her lot in life. As long as you don't end up like Jana Duggar or Tabitha Paine, it's all gravy.

Edited January 25, 2016 by BitterApple

[trimthatfat]

Well Michaella has stated she saw Brandon first and wanted him. I think it took one of his sisters to push him towards her.  So maybe she is restraining herself so as not to scare him off.  Sometimes relationships that start out very quiet can grow to very deep love and a satisfying relationship.  Like in well-arranged, arranged marriages.  Sometimes the ones that start with a fiery passion burn themselves out pretty fast.  Not saying that about Chad and Erin, because sometimes they keep on going.  Anyway it is just hard to tell from the snippets we see on TV.  

Very good points.

 

And tbh, when people are over-the-top in their romantic proclamations and they make sure it's captured for social media, I find that eventually we learn that all that glitters is not gold. Not to say Chad and Erin aren't genuinely happy, but I wouldn't say his romantic gestures are more significant than Brandon's just because he's more in your face about it. They each have their own way of showing their love to their wives and both women seem happy.

[Barb23]

There's something about Michael(a) that I don't care for but I can't put my finger on it.

Poor Jana looked like a fish out of water at the candle-making party.

I think it's almost punishment for Jana that she has to watch how another large family gets along so well compared to hers. The Bates siblings are somewhat normal, laughing & joking with one another. She has also seen the Bates girls end up with better mates vs Derick & Ben in her family. Too bad she can't join the Bates family.

[BitterApple]

I think it's almost punishment for Jana that she has to watch how another large family gets along so well compared to hers. The Bates siblings are somewhat normal, laughing & joking with one another. She has also seen the Bates girls end up with better mates vs Derick & Ben in her family. Too bad she can't join the Bates family.

True, and while the older girls help, I don't get the vibe that they're chained to the house 24/7. Tori gets to spend at least part of her days at school with other adults her age. Michael worked as a nanny prior to marrying Brandon, which gave her a little bit of spending money and Erin went to Clown College.

Aside from the occasional JTTH retreat, it seems like Jana never leaves the TTH.