All Episodes Talk

[film noire]

9 hours ago, Lura said:

She lays out two normal-sized pieces of bread, and she instructs us to make paper-thin slices of cucumber, which she lays single thickness onto the bread.  The ratio of bread to cucumber is about 99:1.  I shook my head in disbelief.  Where is her sense??? 

That biatch is now ruining tea sandwiches?

No turning back now.

IT IS ON.

Edited July 14, 2017 by film noire
i love a good tea sandwich, not a tea sadnwich

[ariel]

52 minutes ago, film noire said:

That biatch is now ruining tea sandwiches?

No turning back now.

IT IS ON.

Tea sandwiches are suppose to be a dainty sandwich of bread & filling.  Leave it to Ree to get it backwards.

ETA - maybe the FN can have a new show "Leave It To Ree".  Watch her F-up basic recipes.

Edited July 14, 2017 by ariel

[ariel]

I'd love to see Mary Berry school Ree on tea sandwiches.  Actually I'd love to see Mary school chef Ree on a lot of things.

[maggiemae]

I'm not familiar with Berry but I'll look her up. Just looking on Pinterest there are amazing cucumber sandwiches...not her boring concoction.

[film noire]

15 minutes ago, maggiemae said:

I'm not familiar with Berry but I'll look her up. Just looking on Pinterest there are amazing cucumber sandwiches...not her boring concoction.

She's great - she (was) one of the judges on the Great British Bake-off before it left the BBC (the baked goods on that show are beyond.)

[anneofcleves]

Are there any new episodes airing?  They all kind of look the same anymore, with variations on the same theme.  

[peacheslatour]

4 hours ago, anneofcleves said:

Are there any new episodes airing?  They all kind of look the same anymore, with variations on the same theme.  

Basically. If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.

[Lura]

If the temperatures in Osage County are anywhere near what they are here (103-113 degrees), she can't very well cook Mexican for her family all summer.  It's too spicy, too hot to eat, and too heavy for summer.  Let's come up with some good summertime meals for Ree to make, and they must be meals (or dishes) that she's already made on her show.  (You knew there was a hitch).  Not saying she can't use the oven or stove for a short time, but think cool. 

My first "dish" (if you can call it that) if her lemonade with lime, served at every meal including breakfast, and it MUST be filled absolutely chock full of ice.

I tag Lisin, film noire, Anne of Cleaves, peacheslatour, grisgris, maggiemae, ariel, mlb, and anyone else with a brilliant idea!

[grisgris]

Wedge salad (with its already dearth of nutrition) obliterated with bacon, cheddar cheese and the ubiquitous mayo/sour cream/buttermilk/bleu cheese dressing!

Now that's cool ranch eatin'!

[peacheslatour]

Cucumber sandwiches and iced tea mixed with Mountain Dew.

[ShellSeeker]

On 7/5/2017 at 11:07 AM, mmecorday said:

What would this woman do in a world without peppers? I swear, every single recipe calls for sliced or diced peppers. 

I will admit to being a bit Ree-like in this regard. My husband grows peppers in the garden every year, and every year it's a pepper avalanche. I'm still working my way through a huge Ziploc bag in the freezer of the jalapenos from last summer, and over the weekend, he brought in the first 2 Santa Fe peppers from what he planted this year. Argh! I also have a huge bag of Tobasco peppers that I've been working on for awhile too -- those get used up more slowly because they're pretty potent. At least peppers freeze well.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, ShellSeeker said:

I will admit to being a bit Ree-like in this regard. My husband grows peppers in the garden every year, and every year it's a pepper avalanche. I'm still working my way through a huge Ziploc bag in the freezer of the jalapenos from last summer, and over the weekend, he brought in the first 2 Santa Fe peppers from what he planted this year. Argh! I also have a huge bag of Tobasco peppers that I've been working on for awhile too -- those get used up more slowly because they're pretty potent. At least peppers freeze well.

Shit, my husband and I have been married so long we're on our fourth bottle of tabasco sauce.

[ariel]

ShellSeeker - if you have access to a dehydrator, peppers do well.  I dehydrate them & store them in mason jars in my pantry.  For a foodie friend, the dried peppers can make a nice gift.

[maggiemae]

She could do an ice cream trough with all the fixins' for dessert on a hot summer night.

[ariel]

4 hours ago, ariel said:

ShellSeeker - if you have access to a dehydrator, peppers do well.  I dehydrate them & store them in mason jars in my pantry.  For a foodie friend, the dried peppers can make a nice gift.

Oh crap, I think I just gave Ree a "new" idea to use on her show.

[Lura]

QUICK, ariel!  Copyright it!  Trademark it!  Guard it with your life ... or the Merc will be full of bottles of Pioneer Woman Original Dried Peppers!

[ariel]

14 hours ago, Lura said:

QUICK, ariel!  Copyright it!  Trademark it!  Guard it with your life ... or the Merc will be full of bottles of Pioneer Woman Original Dried Peppers!

I've got my team of lawyers on that.  Watch out Ree   ;)

Edited July 18, 2017 by ariel

[film noire]

On 7/17/2017 at 1:23 AM, Lura said:

My first "dish" (if you can call it that) if her lemonade with lime, served at every meal including breakfast, and it MUST be filled absolutely chock full of ice.

This is tough, Lura -- I can't do much cooking, so I'm left to using leftovers left in Ree's fridge -- do I go with a cuppa potato salad topped with cold chicken spaghetti served in a pan-fried cheesy quesadilla?

Maybe a warmed up burger -- served between two slices of The Bread -- topped with pasta primavera smothered in Aunt Trish's salad dressing? (That's refreshing if I put a little mint and pot au creme on top.) Maybe something simple -- shrimp tacos crumbled into sesame noodles mounded on top of an icy cold bowl of seven can soup? (Vichysays what the fuck?) Damn! -- I'll have to get back to you -- I just saw a tub of dump cake slices,  a container of pico de gaillo, and the heel of Ladd's favorite steak sandwich -- savory and sweet, here I come!!!

Edited July 19, 2017 by film noire

[Lura]

LOLOL!  You have me laffin' so hard -- and ready to vomit -- that I'm glad you stopped before you had any more ideas, film noire! 

You know, Ree always makes a nice meal when the Drummonds gather there.  Heaven forbid that Chuck might decide that Missy is the better cook of the two!  Missy made those beautiful blueberry-topped cupcakes, while Ree (this week) made APPLE SANDWICHES -- slices of doctored apples between two pieces of bread.  I wanted to kick her all the way to the Osage County line.  MORE wasted electricity watching Ree's insanities!  I'd like to see her make some of those for Chuck.

To get rid of Ree: We need to write to the companies who sponsor her.  We need to tell them that we will not buy any more of their products until Ree is history.  We need to tell them all the things we dislike about her and her show.  Send one copy to the FN and the other to Scripps.  I would recommend doing this pretty soon before Ree becomes the next Betty Crocker, which I'm sure she's aiming to become, with products ranging from boxed cakes to apple sandwiches.  You think I'm kidding?  NOT.

[chessiegal]

As long as Ree is one of the top-rated shows on FN, she's not going anywhere. FN cares about revenue, and she is bringing it in - big time.

[ariel]

46 minutes ago, chessiegal said:

As long as Ree is one of the top-rated shows on FN, she's not going anywhere. FN cares about revenue, and she is bringing it in - big time.

Sadly that is true.  The fake cowgirl in the sand is bringing in the ratings.  

Edited July 21, 2017 by ariel

[Lura]

On ‎7‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 5:00 PM, chessiegal said:

As long as Ree is one of the top-rated shows on FN, she's not going anywhere. FN cares about revenue, and she is bringing it in - big time.

I doubt there are many of us who haven't read the same thing, chessie.  It's downright frustrating.  I wonder how this would work:

Dear Advertiser:

I promise to buy a Swiffer for myself and one for each of my 12 cousins for Christmas if you will end your sponsorship of Ree Drummond's "The Pioneer Woman" immediately. 

[grisgris]

9 hours ago, Lura said:

I doubt there are many of us who haven't read the same thing, chessie.  It's downright frustrating.  I wonder how this would work:

Dear Advertiser:

I promise to buy a Swiffer for myself and one for each of my 12 cousins for Christmas if you will end your sponsorship of Ree Drummond's "The Pioneer Woman" immediately. 

I know. It's frustrating but we're caught between a rock and a hard place. If we rid the airwaves of Ree, we're performing a huge public service. OTOH, they what would we snark about? :)

[Lura]

2 hours ago, grisgris said:

It's frustrating but we're caught between a rock and a hard place. If we rid the airwaves of Ree, we're performing a huge public service. OTOH, they what would we snark about? :)

Mmmm, I've thought the same thing.  I'm beginning to think, though, that I'd gladly sacrifice Ree if I could replace her with Charles and Camilla.  Even Ree doesn't look like a dog snarling when she smiles.

[Totale]

On 7/20/2017 at 8:00 PM, chessiegal said:

As long as Ree is one of the top-rated shows on FN, she's not going anywhere. FN cares about revenue, and she is bringing it in - big time.

As I understand it she pays for and produces the show herself and presents it to FN complete and ready to air.  I have no idea about the financial arrangements (i.e. does she pay them to run it or do they pay her to supply it, and how the ad money is split up).  Either way, it's no work at all for them which already makes it more attractive than having to pay someone to come up with scripts and and arrange for production of something like the Food Truck Race or FNS. 

[Lura]

Totale, I think you are right.  I've read essentially the same thing.  I noticed on the credits once that Ree is listed as a producer, which I thought was really smart.  I gather that means that she can nix an idea that she doesn't want on the show.  At the same time, it probably means that she can talk about sex all day if she feels like it.  I'm not sure whether there's a co-producer or not.  I'm a little lacking in knowledge about what this "production" company's deals are with Ina and with Ree.  I'd think that would be interesting.

[Qoass]

I laughed out loud during one of the reruns this weekend when she said you could do anything with a frittata. You could make it Southwestern... you could make it veggie... silence...

There's a whole culinary world out there, Ree. Get out of your hotel and visit it sometime.

[Lura]

I was thinking about Ree scraping cow dung off of her boots, so curiosity nagged me to look up cow dung on Google.  (Time on my hands??? LOL)  What I learned told me pretty much about Ree's future.  As you probably know, cow chips are already used all over the world for fuel.  Well, that's only the beginning.  It is now being used in pharmaceuticals and a number of other surprising fields, but the latest thing is (ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?) cosmetics!  I had thought that she might get together with Lester and work to improve his Grime Away, but I now see Ree branching out into cosmetics.  In some parts of the world, women smear cow dung on their faces to improve their complexions.  Can't you see it now?  Ree has the entire football team out to the ranch, gives each boy a big burlap sack, and offers $ 5.00 per sack filled with cow patties.  Off they go!  She turns those cattle into money makers and develops a face cream or blush or lipstick made from a constantly renewable resource!  He feeds 'em; she collects 'em.  All she'll need is a name, which is where we come in.  Ree's Dung Crème just doesn't sell it in my book.  Any ideas?  (Hy will do the ads.  She has no pride whatsoever.) 

[film noire]

1 hour ago, Lura said:

 He feeds 'em; she collects 'em.  

LOL

Quote

All she'll need is a name, which is where we come in.  Ree's Dung Crème just doesn't sell it in my book.  Any ideas?  (Hy will do the ads.  She has no pride whatsoever.) 

"This Cream Is Crap"

[ariel]

9 hours ago, film noire said:

LOL

"This Cream Is Crap"

Come on Ree,  this stuff is very easy to make "home made" from you little simple abode on the prairie - go for it.  You are the white trash Julia Child. 

[Lura]

Patty Melt Cosmetics

Beauty by Bovine

Hmmm, I wonder whether her mother might have a recipe.

Edited August 12, 2017 by Lura

[film noire]

4 hours ago, Lura said:

Patty Melt Cosmetics

Beauty by Bovine

Hmmm, I wonder whether her mother might have a recipe.

I love Patty Melt -- hilarious -- and very Ree.

I was wondering about a crossover between Gwyneth Paltrow and Ree -- Goop Poop?

[Lura]

Quote

8 hours ago, film noire said:

Quote

Quote

Quote

 

 

 

What a botched-up post!  I hate these bottom ones.  So confusing!

[Lura]

Goop Poop!  LOL  Wouldn't Miss Gwyneth be flattered? 

Somehow, this train of thought reminded me of our former next-door neighbor, a fantastic woman who worked as a school nurse.  Whenever she had "the runs," she would moan that she had "dia-ree." She was such a special friend that I never could bring myself to ask her why she pronounced it that way.

[grisgris]

I think it's found a home here, Lura!

[anneofcleves]

Was today's 16 minute meals episode a new one?  Mine taped, as if it were new.  Everything seemed familiar, but it always does. I swear I've seen her delectable, amazing, scrumptious sugar-ensconced apple and peanut butter on (nutritious whole grain!) English muffin snacks before.  

And all of her decadent, delightful pasta dishes look the same and on the level of something my dog could do, if he had thumbs and the motivation.

Edited August 12, 2017 by anneofcleves

[grisgris]

Today was definitely a new-old show. I could tell by the glaring changes in Ree's hair, makeup and dress.  In the first segment with the "Thai" stir-fry, she looked the best. Her hair was a dark auburn and while she had on the black eyeliner, the rest of her makeup was barely there and she wore a navy blue top with a small white print. Next, it was the carrot orange hair, gold eye shadow and a bright pink top.

I guess I am lazy but I'd never go to that much time and trouble to prepare lunch; even on the few occasions where I am at my job long enough during the day to get a lunch break. If I ate a large helping of pasta with a cream-based sauced for lunch, I'd feel pretty sluggish for the rest of the day.

I shuddered at that hummus wrap with hummus, bal-SAM-ic dressed greens, cooked red onions, artichoke hearts and roasted red peppers all on a spinach tortilla. It was way, way too much and I was wondering what hotel has that on the room service menu. Avoid at all costs!

Apple slices and peanut butter seems like a decent snack for all ages.  Dousing it with sugar and spice and butter then broiling it isn't really elevating the dish. It seems like too much trouble i for what it actually is.

I wanted to mention two great recipes that I think are much better than what Ree shared today.  My very favorite roasted red pepper pasta dish recipe is by Ellie Krieger. She uses feta in hers instead of heavy cream. As the sauce is pureed, it still is creamy but I think has am much more interesting flavor than plain old whipping cream. You serve it with whole wheat fettuccine. This week I also tried out a copy-cat recipe for a rather expensive brand of spicy hummus made from yellow lentils instead of the traditional chickpeas. I had to buy several ingredients but it's all stuff that I will use for other dishes (e.g. yellow lentils, roasted red peppers and dried apricots.) The spicy component is a serano pepper and you also use red pepper flakes. You are supposed to used finely chopped jalapeno as part of the topping but I skipped that step. It made a ton so I know what I'll be taking to work on Friday as I will be there the entire day. Hint: It's a hummus wrap, but with considerably fewer items than you-know-who's!

[anneofcleves]

17 hours ago, grisgris said:

I wanted to mention two great recipes that I think are much better than what Ree shared today.  My very favorite roasted red pepper pasta dish recipe is by Ellie Krieger. She uses feta in hers instead of heavy cream. As the sauce is pureed, it still is creamy but I think has am much more interesting flavor than plain old whipping cream. You serve it with whole wheat fettuccine. This week I also tried out a copy-cat recipe for a rather expensive brand of spicy hummus made from yellow lentils instead of the traditional chickpeas. I had to buy several ingredients but it's all stuff that I will use for other dishes (e.g. yellow lentils, roasted red peppers and dried apricots.) The spicy component is a serano pepper and you also use red pepper flakes. You are supposed to used finely chopped jalapeno as part of the topping but I skipped that step. It made a ton so I know what I'll be taking to work on Friday as I will be there the entire day. Hint: It's a hummus wrap, but with considerably fewer items than you-know-who's!

Thank you for confirming I'm not completely crazy, gris gris! Even as repetitive as Ina's recipes and shows can be (including right down to wearing practically the same shirt), they're memorable.  Ree's Drummond's are one mediocre recipe after another.  I'm also with you on never spending that much time on my, or anyone else's, lunch.  Even if I'm home doing nothing, I'm not making myself a "decadent" lunch.  This is the stupidity of Food Network.  Everything has to have a lame story, attached to some fake lifestyle scenario.  It's not acceptable to just stand there, yammer on engagingly, and cook.

Ellie's red pepper sauce sounds great with the addition of feta.  Would you mind sharing a link to the lentil hummus recipe, possibly in the small talk thread or the test kitchen? I love that stuff.

Edited August 13, 2017 by anneofcleves

[grisgris]

Sure! I'll post it in Test Kitchen.

[Lura]

You know, we were talking about how Ree gets away with cooking like she does (tomatoes + cheese), and how the FN can put that on the air, when it occurred to me that maybe the people at the FN are just as surprised as anyone.  Granted, they gave Ree a chance, but it's possible that they're astounded that such a stupid show can be the most-watched of everything they offer!  If it brings in advertiser revenue, of course they're going to run it, but they may be shaking their heads along with us.  Dismal thought.

Maybe we should put together a cookbook for Ree.  Each of us could think of some hideous-sounding recipes for food for soup, sandwiches and suppers, then send it to her.  (Don't leave out the peppers!)  We could name the book "Inspired by Ree."

That's the best I've got today.

Edited August 16, 2017 by Lura

[peacheslatour]

The whole network has morphed into  the Guy & Ree Network. And it sucks.

Edited August 16, 2017 by peacheslatour

[film noire]

16 hours ago, Lura said:

Maybe we should put together a cookbook for Ree.  Each of us could think of some hideous-sounding recipes for food for soup, sandwiches and suppers, then send it to her.  (Don't leave out the peppers!)  We could name the book "Inspired by Ree."

 

I'm in!

My first Reecipe:

BECAUSE I CAN SOUP

Ingredients:

5 pounds of butter (preferably Land O' Lakes)

Buncha hot peppers, minced (not too finely).
 

Directions:

Melt butter

Pour into large soup bowls

Garnish with hot peppers.

Serve immediately, before butter congeals.

Edited August 16, 2017 by film noire

[ariel]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

The whole network has morphed into  the Guy & Ree Network. And it sucks.

Sadly, they are giving the 58 million who like 45 what they want.

Edited August 16, 2017 by ariel

[Qoass]

Quote

 

BECAUSE I CAN SOUP

But, but... where are the cans???

[film noire]

8 minutes ago, Qoass said:

But, but... where are the cans???

Ha!

Amending Reecipe: Do not use Land O' Lakes --  welcome to Seven Butter Can Soup!

(Ree used the seventh can before I got the shot.)

Edited August 16, 2017 by film noire

[Lura]

2 hours ago, film noire said:

(Ree used the seventh can before I got the shot.)

LOVE THIS!!!  LOL  I was just a little bit surprised, though, that the recipe didn't call for hot sauce, chili flakes, and 3 heaping Tbl. of chili pepper!  Maybe Ree sets those on the table for Drummonds who like a little more heat than jalapenos alone.

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, ariel said:

Sadly, they are giving the 58 million who like 45 what they want.

Soon to be 86ed.

[film noire]

9 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Soon to be 86ed.

10/4 :)

44 minutes ago, Lura said:

LOVE THIS!!!  LOL  I was just a little bit surprised, though, that the recipe didn't call for hot sauce, chili flakes, and 3 heaping Tbl. of chili pepper!  Maybe Ree sets those on the table for Drummonds who like a little more heat than jalapenos alone.

You're right-- all future Reecipes should list every heat-based condiment Ree sets out on her Lazy Ass Susan tray ;)

[grisgris]

1 hour ago, film noire said:

10/4 :)

You're right-- all future Reecipes should list every heat-based condiment Ree sets out on her Lazy Ass Susan tray ;)

Ahem! Please do not take my name in vain! LOL!

This has got me thinking. We should write "The Real Housewives of the Pawhuska *Prairie*." We could Ree, Missy, Hy, Hy's D-I-L, Cowboy Josh's wife and some random other women like from Ree's *investment club* or homeschool mothers. Instead of holding an apple, diamond, orange, etc., they will each hold a stick of butter.

We could have comedy gold with that, like we used to do in the good old days of TWoP when we wrote our own episodes of Semi Homemade! Good times, I tell ya!

Taglines "When it comes to mending fences, my husband might be a pro ... but leave burning the bridges to me!"

"When it comes to friendship, you can always count on me to turn the other cheek ... literally."

Edited August 17, 2017 by grisgris

[anneofcleves]

I've been working all day on this submission.  Here goes...It's divine and all your friends will think they've died and gone to French bistro heaven when you serve them this for lunch...

Slow Braised Drunken Artichoke Hearts:

• In your slow cooker, add 12 cans of canned artichoke hearts
• Add one can of your favorite lemon lime soda (oh heck, make it Mountain Dew)
• In your Kitchen Aid, mix together 4 cups of mayonnaise with 1/2 tsp. salt; pour into slow cooker
• In a cute 'lil mason jar, pour in one cup of tequila, put the lid on, and shake it around just because you like to; take lid off of jar and drink
• After you come to, pour 1/8 bottle dark beer over the artichoke mixture
• Place the lid on your crock and cook for 32 hours on low setting.

To serve, invert the congealed block of drunken artichokes into a gigantic cast iron pan, and then invert that into another, even more gigantic cast iron pan.  Sprinkle with chopped green onions, chopped jalapeños, crumbled bacon, goat cheese, and toasted pepitos.  Serve with my mashed potatoes, corn bread, chicken pot pie, and coconut layer cake.  

Edited August 17, 2017 by anneofcleves