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I Once Took A Donkey And Some Honeycomb Into... : Jokes!


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Yay, middle school humor!  Read the Percy Jackson books by Rick Riordan.  He was a middle school teacher for a long time and most of the books are full of it.  Two of my favorite passages (the first is from The Titan's Curse; our heroes are at the Hoover Dam):

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The second is from The Son of Neptune (Hazel is being carried away by a bunch of karpoi, evil grain spirits):

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OK, I've cleaned this up a bit but here goes:

 

Two middle-aged women were sitting on a front porch and one said to the other ' Oh, no! My husband's carrying a dozen red roses! Looks like I'll have a sore woo-hoo in the morning!'

  Woman #2 said' Oh, I solved that problem years ago!'

This startled Woman #1 because Woman #2 was far from the brightest bulb in the tulip bed.

  Woman #1 replied' Really? How?'

Woman #2 gloated," Easy!

Spoiler

 I told MY husband to use a vase!'

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A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the husband asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"

The wife said, "No sweetie." The husband said, "I'm sure you would." 

So the wife said, "Okay, I would"

Then the husband asked, "Would you let him sleep in our bed?"

And the wife replied, "Yes, I guess so." 

Then the husband asked, "Would you let him use my golf clubs?" 

And the wife replied, "No, he's left handed."

 


 

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I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"
"Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"

  • Love 7

When I was young, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school. One of the questions required rearranging the letters "PNEIS" into the name of "an important human body part, which is most useful when erect." 
Those who answered "spine" are doctors today. The rest of us are posting jokes on the internet.

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