S01.E01: First Blood

[shapeshifter]

And they can keep on coming even WITHOUT THEIR HEADS.

You mean like: Beware the rise of the fur coats!

Sorry, this thread is feeding my overactive imagination. Hee.

[theredhead77]

Same, there's just something about her that bugs me. The character, too. Although I'm sure her genie tattoo has a very deep meaning behind it.

I'm really hoping it was a young dumb decision with no meaning!

 

This looks like "so bad, it's bad" fun.  I'm in.

 

I want to see chickens freak out and wreak havoc.  Chickens have it hard.  Some people don't eat pork; some people don't eat red meat; some people don't eat fish.  But it seems that everybody who's not a vegetarian eats chicken.  I want them to go around and just peck the shit out of people.  They probably can't do that much damage but they can at least peck eyes out so we'll have a bunch of blind humans who can't see the lions coming for them. 

I eat beef, bacon and seafood and I hate poultry. Those chickens better leave me alone!

[Neurochick]

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Feral-Cat-on-Loose-NY-Town-311886191.html

 

The first thing I thought about were those cats in the tree.

[Bruinsfan]

I'm thinking headless chickens not really that high on the list of dangerous animals though.

 

It's the cute little platypuses that will surprise everyone; they'll crack out the venom spurs while everyone is laughing about how funny they look and then people will find out how much fun it is to have excruciating pain that morphine can't relieve.

[maczero]

Did the lion only chase Wolk's character over the cliff because the lion sensed that he was someone who respected animals and treated them fairly?

I'm just assuming dead is dead to the lion.  I'm sure the guy would've been mauled to death if he stood his ground.

 

I want to see chickens freak out and wreak havoc.  Chickens have it hard.  Some people don't eat pork; some people don't eat red meat; some people don't eat fish.  But it seems that everybody who's not a vegetarian eats chicken.  I want them to go around and just peck the shit out of people.  They probably can't do that much damage but they can at least peck eyes out so we'll have a bunch of blind humans who can't see the lions coming for them. 

I should get a pass then because I don't like chicken.

 

Honestly, I think I've found a new favorite summer show.  You know I've become so accustomed to zombies, aliens and dinosaurs being threats that I've forgotten how scary the animal kingdom can be.  Well, this show has given me a new found respect/fear of animals.  Seeing that poor guy being dragged up the tree while still alive gave me the shivers.  Hell, even that cat tree is creepy as hell.

[Netfoot]

Late to the party, but:

 

It's over 2,100 Km from Mt Kilimanjaro to Botswana.  So, how is it they can see Kilimanjaro towering over them, from the Safari Camp? 

 

Q: "Are you going to force me to ask you to strip down so we can see whether or not, somewhere on your body, is the tattoo of a genie?"
A: "Are you going to try that, forcing me to kick you in the c*nt so hard, your eyes turn bloodshot?"

 

If food grown with GM pesticides made Boston Zoo lions go nutzo, does this mean that Reiden Global feed the lions in Botswana too?

 

Lions that use URA rebel strategy by walking in each other's tracks?  That's a leap.  (Even if it's correct.)

 

That's a Land Rover.  Even a crappy Landie could probably drive across the entire continent, in a straight line.  So why not drive over flat ground and a little grass to the abandonned vehicle? One whiff of Blonde, and Jackson Ozz leaves Abraham to twist in the wind?  Just like that?  He's Jackson Azz from now on.  And when back in the relative safety of the Landie, why still refuse to drive over to double check on Abe? And was there any explanation why the lions chose not to eat Frenchie?  I didn't catch one.

 

If your radiator is bust and the car overheats, the gearbox won't immediately start grinding away.  And just in case your car overheats six miles from safety when you're being pursued by lions, here's a tip:  Wait until it cools off, restart the engine, and drive on.  Even if you have to repeat several times, you won't be forced to choose between turning your butt into catfood, or jumping off a cliff and tumbling a long way to the bottom (without actually incurring the slightest injury).

 

Can you figure out how you get -- and keep -- 50 cats in a tree until Production has the shot in the can?   Hint:  It involves hot glue.

 

In Botswana, you can be arrested for playing James Brown music.  (As you should be, in any country.)

 

So glad Abe (predictably) still lives.  Here's hoping that when they are reunited, he socks Jackson Azz right in the face for abandoning him.  Unfortunately, if that happens, Azz will get up rubbing his jaw for a moment and the incident will be over.  Instead of spending six months undergoing facial reconstructive surgery, which is what would really happen if Nonso Anozie smacked that wuss James Wolk good and proper!

 

Anyone care to speculate on exactly which species is going to put an end to the Mean Son of Nippon with the $100k hunting license? 

 

Anyone care to speculate on how many episodes it takes Antisocial Animal Coroner / Veterinary Pathologist to replace Wussy Newspaper Middle-Management Dweeb in the affections of Plucky, Driven Female Cub Reporter?

 

This thing is so bad, I am going to love it.

Edited July 8, 2015 by Netfoot

[MissLucas]

 

Anyone care to speculate on exactly which species is going to put an end to the Mean Son of Nippon with the $100k hunting license?

I'll go with crocodile - in reality a hippo would be the best bet (according to statistics at least) but I don't think reality has anything to say here. Cameras love crocodiles more than (non-Disney) hippos.

[maczero]

That's a Land Rover.  Even a crappy Landie could probably drive across the entire continent, in a straight line.  So why not drive over flat ground and a little grass to the abandonned vehicle? One whiff of Blonde, and Jackson Ozz leaves Abraham to twist in the wind?  Just like that?  He's Jackson Azz from now on.  And when back in the relative safety of the Landie, why still refuse to drive over to double check on Abe?

To be fair, adult male lions can weigh up to 500 lbs.  I wouldn't want to test the durability of any non-armored vehicle being bumrushed by five lions all at once.

[ottoDbusdriver]

I'll go with crocodile - in reality a hippo would be the best bet (according to statistics at least) but I don't think reality has anything to say here. Cameras love crocodiles more than (non-Disney) hippos.

 

My money is on a herd of feisty gnus -- because the hunter would only be able to shoot one or two before being trampled to death by the rest of the herd.

[Netfoot]

My money is on a herd of feisty gnus...

 

He was hunting a black rhino, wasn't he?  Maybe he'll... get the horn!

[raven]

Bears are using tools to jailbreak, it's starting already.

[shapeshifter]

Can you figure out how you get -- and keep -- 50 cats in a tree until Production has the shot in the can?   Hint:  It involves hot glue...

For real? Or are you jk?

BTW, James Brown rules. IMO.

[Bruinsfan]

So glad Abe (predictably) still lives.  Here's hoping that when they are reunited, he socks Jackson Azz right in the face for abandoning him.  Unfortunately, if that happens, Azz will get up rubbing his jaw for a moment and the incident will be over.  Instead of spending six months undergoing facial reconstructive surgery, which is what would really happen if Nonso Anozie smacked that wuss James Wolk good and proper!

Nonso doesn't just have to worry about James Wolk's level of badassitude, he has to factor in every woman and gay man who'd be out to get him in the wake of messing up Wolk's face. He'd be safer sticking around the lions.

Edited July 8, 2015 by Bruinsfan

[Buckley]

Maybe the Madagascar penguins show up!

[blackwing]

I enjoyed this first episode.  It's cheesy but I don't think it's pretending to be an Emmy worthy drama.  It's just good mindless summer thrill entertainment.  Need to catch up on episode 2 this weekend.

 

James Patterson is the cheeseball hack writer supreme at present - he puts out (I am not making this up) literally a book a month (more if you include the children's and YA titles), which he can do because almost all of them are done with a co-writer.  Unlike Stephen King, he didn't even start out as a good writer - he's always been unreadable.

I've never read anything from him, but I have noticed that lately a lot of his books are co-authored.  I was thinking of starting the "Private" series because I like thrillers set in foreign cities.  Surely Patterson can't be as bad as Clive Cussler.  Cussler's Dirk Pitt series was once great.  But now his son has taken over and it's, pardon the pun, the Pitts.  Cussler has various series that are all co-authored and I doubt at 80 something years old that he truly writes anything.  They just use his name to sell books.

[marieYOTZ]

Super late, but just caught up on under the dome, and needed more summer tv -

The line "More people choke on HOTDOGS than die in lion attacks" left me like ... "No shit, sherlock" - seems really obvious, lacks the zing of the "more people are killed by cows than sharks" statistic

[Anela]

I tried watching this a month ago, but was tired, and it didn't hold my interest. I started the book at a store yesterday, and decided to try again. It's weird watching the lions attack and be shot at, after Cecil being in the news. I liked the guy scaring off the rhino with music.