S02.E10: Intimacy

[Snarklepuss]

The problem I see with this show is that all of these couples want to GET MARRIED, as if marriage is the goal instead of being married to a particular person is the goal.  It's like buying a painting and a frame.  Most people buy the painting and then find a frame to fit it, they don't look for a frame and then find a painting to fit in the frame.  What if you see a real beautiful painting but it doesn't fit in the frame you just bought?  That's what I think is wrong, these people want to get married, but have forgotten the most important piece, the person they're marrying.  

 

I think they acted like people hiring an interior decorator.  They expected the "experts" to make the house a home by finding just the right picture/person to put in that frame/marriage.  Too bad it's not as easy as decorating.  People are way more complicated!

[Bella]

The problem I see with this show is that all of these couples want to GET MARRIED, as if marriage is the goal instead of being married to a particular person is the goal.  It's like buying a painting and a frame.  Most people buy the painting and then find a frame to fit it, they don't look for a frame and then find a painting to fit in the frame.  What if you see a real beautiful painting but it doesn't fit in the frame you just bought?  That's what I think is wrong, these people want to get married, but have forgotten the most important piece, the person they're marrying.  

 

Stephen Sondheim wrote an entire musical about this. It's Company, and the line that always stood out to me was at the end, when protagonist Bobby finally gets it and says something like "you don't marry somebody, you marry somebody."

[shopper73]

I think you might be right about it being self preservation, but also preserving her image to the world as a part of that - I also think that Jaclyn is FOS about a lot of things.  Like whether she would really want to remain in the friend zone with Ryan if things didn't work out.  Not sure I buy that she could really talk herself out of wanting a relationship with him, but I think she wants to believe she can!

 

I know, it's kinda hard to play "hard to get" when you already share a bed and a last name with someone, LOL.  This presses women's buttons and sets them up for expectations that the men may or may not want to fulfill despite technically being married.

Jaimie played hard to get in season 1 and quite skillfully!  I agree that the men back away when they feel pressured, and I think this instant marriage is very hard to pull off, especially for the men.  Jaclyn was succeeding until she went way overboard once they had sex, and became too much for Ryan, and he felt pressured by all her affection, attention and expectations.  Davina has expectations, too, and Sean feels intimidated by her for sure.  Jessica is very loving, and Ryan can't take all that emotional intimacy.  

Also, the answer to the lack of intimacy between Sean and Davina is not for them to spend more time together!  A deep, intimate emotional connection may take time, but the sex part takes very little time, just attraction and chemistry, which they may have felt but don't anymore, at least it is gone for Sean.

[Waterlilly]

I agree with you shopper, men like the pursuing. The " he chased me until I caught him" sorta thing. It doesn't really matter when they had sex, as long as there was still some mystery as to whether or not she would stay with him. I don't think sex matters as long as you bait the trap right (really just being snarky).

[whoknowswho]

Ugh, this show is such a pile of crap. I'm only watching now to mock and to see what sort of tortured editing shenanigans they'll pull at the end to maintain the lie that "the experts make great matches." Because NONE of these people have any chemistry or compatibility in the slightest.<br /><br />Sean...oh my GAWD, I couldn't stop giggle-snorting at his "I'm Christian Grey sexual!" line. What heterosexual man in human history has ever busted out a line like that? I think he's either closeted gay or just asexual. I find it impossible to believe he's this smooth ladies man in real life who just happens to come across as a wimpy awkward dork on TV. I can't stand Davina and think she'd be a nightmare even in a "normal" relationship with all her prickly insecurity, but his issues are definitely overshadowing hers right now. I went from finding him mildly cute the first episode to feeling my skin crawl every time I see him now. Something ain't right with that dude.<br /><br />I find Jaclyn and Ryan less irritating than the other couples, but their personalities really aren't compatible. She's a brash aggressive girl and he's a boring homely dude. I could see her with an equally extroverted alpha-male type guy, and I could see him with a passive woman with less ambition who's happy living in his mom's basement. I think it's commendable they're both making an effort and they seem to care for each other as people (if not in a sexual way) but it's obvious they're better off as friends.<br /><br />And Ryan and Jessica will never make it. The reason she "has an emotional wall up" is because she's picking up on the VERY obvious fact that he doesn't like her. I think Ryan sees Jessica as beneath him - the type of girl he might holler at in a bar and maybe have a fling with, but not wife and mother material. He seems spoiled and clearly has a high opinion of himself, and I think he imagines himself married to a woman with the looks of a supermodel and the personality of his sainted grandmother. Whatever dude, good luck with that.<br /><br />There's really nothing to salvage with any of these couples. If any of them choose to "stay married", it'll only be to extend their 15 minutes for another season. This show is so pathetic and bottom of the barrel.

Absolutely spot on!

Perfect way to sum up my feelings, but I'm not nearly as eloquent. 

You have hit the nail right on the head with this summary.

[kira28]

I think Sean is still hooking up with the ladies at work and that is why he no longer has any sexual interest in Davina. Ryan and Jessica are done. Ryan doesn't seem like a horrible guy, he just isn't into Jessica for whatever reason and he's too immature to be married. The other Ryan just wants to live in his mama's basement and have a stress free life. He's also way too immature to be married.  I feel bad for Jaclynn because she really came a long way from being disgusted by his appearance (her first impression) and she's gone thru that thing that once you become mentally attracted to someone their looks sort of grow on you. Now she's had sex with him which is something she doesn't take lightly (if she hasn't done it in two years, obviously she's not into casual hook ups) and immediately he pulls away and is not interested in her. That would kill anyone's self esteem so I don't blame  her for wanting to pack up and jump ship. Ryan says he needs to have feelings to be sleep with someone, um you got married at first sight dumbass, so you don't believe you need to be in love with someone to marry them but you have to be in love to have sex?

[Wings]

Well said and I agree with all you have said, kira. 

 

One thing though.  I don't think Sean is well liked at work, they have his number so probably not having sex with anyone there.  Apparently he is a player.  He may have someone he knows on the side who comes over after work though. 

[Neurochick]

Stephen Sondheim wrote an entire musical about this. It's Company, and the line that always stood out to me was at the end, when protagonist Bobby finally gets it and says something like "you don't marry somebody, you marry somebody."

 

I saw Company on Broadway in 1970, don't remember a lot of it, except that it was quite long.  

 

That line is very true, when the emphasis on "somebody"

Edited May 22, 2015 by Neurochick

[RococoChanel]

My gaydar has been pinging off the charts for Sean since episode 1, scene 1. Just leaving that there...

[TheBride]

I would never again be able to think of Davina as a dignified human being after the toe-sucking act. What a jerk. Suck your own toe, buddy.

[moonxyz]

Oops wrong thread

Edited May 22, 2015 by moonxyz

[Palomar]

I think Sean does not want to initiate sex because he doesn't want Davina to give a "review" on national TV.  Davina's friend gave good advice but it's pretty obvious he doesn't care enough to take it.

 

I think Ryan has already checked out of the marriage and that he is trying to make semi-nice to fulfill his 6 week obligation.  He can't leave fast enough.  There is no way Jessica and Ryan will ever be anyting than oil and water. 

 

I hold out a little hope for Ryan and Jaclyn because I do think they at least have a friendship that could eventually be more.  But, he is so not ready for marriage and almost seems to be looking for an excuse to bail.  I can see them not divorcing and seeing how things go for awhile.

[Waterlilly]

I am watching reruns, there is a lot said that makes sense of later frustration. Like the closet argument with Ryan and jessica, he clearly says you have another whole closet. She gets pissy and doesn't want to unpack any more.

The THs are driving me crazy. They have on the same clothes as the most recent episode.

[moonxyz]

I think we are shown a lot of scenes out of sequence to get us guessing. The timing for certain events does not make sense. 

 

For example, at the beginning of the episode when Ryan and Jess are eating pasta, there are still unopened NYE decorations on the dinning table. So the scene probably took place right after the huge fight and before NYE. Go figure.

Edited May 23, 2015 by moonxyz

[mywinston]

Sean's dumb hair reminds me of Tin Tin.

[Waterlilly]

For me it helps to re-watch. Watching Sean make excuses over and over is so frustrating. I did notice that Ryan initiated "taking it to the next level". I think that is why he is so upset with himself in this episode. IMHO he really is a good guy and doesn't want to hurt Jaclyn while he is sorting out his feelings. We are seeing this in like what 14 weeks yet it really happened in six. Too short, to know someone, or to know your own feelings.

[Waterlilly]

And in the epi I'm watching right now Dr. Pepper even says Jessica had reached out to her, her advice even sounds like she knew a lot of what was going on.

[molshoop]

 

If Jess and Ryan stay together with the hope of getting a spin-off, I hope the "experts" are wise enough to counsel them out of it. If that is how they behave on camera, I can't imagine what is happening when the cameras aren't on.

 

 I can't imagine who would want to watch them.  I don't find them appealing even when they are

 getting along.

[Neurochick]

I think the problem with all of these couples is that they wanted to me married.  But never realized that they'd actually have to marry another person.  They seemed to have put more emphasis on being married than anything else.  I have noticed Jessica often says things like, "I'm married, I'm a wife," as if that's more important to, I don't know, being married to the right person.  

 

Arranged marriages worked because the purpose of those marriages was to bring two families together and for them to have children.  Years ago women and men lived separate lives, they weren't friends, they each had their own friends.  I think the concept of "marrying my best friend" didn't become popular until the 20th century.  Those types of marriages might have existed in the past, but they weren't the norm.  

[shopper73]

I agree, neurochick, that they are in love with marriage, and now are surprised that the experts didn't find their perfect match, but a person with flaws, just like the people they know outside the experiment!

[Passthepopcorn]

S & D So, romantic dinner with suggestive game in hopes to consummate...

The guy comes home sick (or unwilling to do this). You still go for it.                                                                                                                      X

The guy just told you his "hell no" sexually speaking, the thing that grosses him out. You go ahead and do it for him to see. Twice.                    X

You get in bed, take your shirt off and ask for a massage. Pizza dough.                                                                                                                 X

Romance is dead.

 

I can't believe she doesn't get that he is not into her. That is probably something that can't happen ever, in her mind. "There can't be anything wrong with me, right", she said.

So humiliating. Looks like she is begging.

I don't think he is gay. I lean toward the inexperienced/dorky theory. I'm not sure about all the gossip. And right know he looks petrified, totally in his cocoon, anxious. 1- because anybody could feel inadequate with that woman's expectations and 2- because he knows this will not work. He is not selling his house, changing jobs or living in two places past this 6 weeks.

 

J & RD I've heard him say "this is not what I want" and "I don't like what I see" with such conviction that that is all I see. He seems to have a tinny bit of hope sometimes, but he is so reluctant to touch her or go along with the romantic part of the relationship. It doesn't come naturally, he knows it.

 

J & RR At least they talk like adults, talk about what bothers them and take consideration for each other. I adhere to the theory of him having gotten overwhelmed. An introvert can't be partying every day non stop. That is what he means when he says he needs a clear head to have sex.

[Vicky8675309]

I still like Ryan ("douche", not "basement") more than Jessica but they are both fake imo

[Waterlilly]

I still like Ryan D too. I watch the reruns a lot, I notice that RD side eyes the camera, I don't know that he is uncomfortable or says something and then remembers the camera is there but he glances at it. It has to get weird after a while, how can they really build a relationship and really get dirty honest with each other when that damn camera and crew are there, I dun know.

[Aethera]

Housekeeping: I moved a few posts that were primarily about the Experts to the Experts Thread, so you can find them there.  Sleekandchic, a small part of your moved post is a reply to something here (Sean's hair) so feel free to repost that comment here!  I just can't move half a post, heh heh.

[Wings]

They all want to find love. Most people do.  I suspect they all have applied to the Bach franchise but were not cast.   

 

I don't think any of them wanted marriage above all else.  They saw a reality TV opportunity to give love a shot and perhaps gain a career boost or something else in the process.  

 

They also entered knowing full well, if it didn't work production would get them a speedy divorce.  

[sleekandchic]

[Removed. Off-topic for an episode thread. Sorry, mods.]

Edited May 29, 2015 by sleekandchic