Cloud9Shopper October 12, 2023 Share October 12, 2023 27 minutes ago, theredhead77 said: FWIW, hiring slows but interviews continue (albeit a bit slower) so they can have people ready to start at the beginning of the year. I did start a job in December one time but that was way back in 2008 lol. 🤣So I’m not counting anything out. I do have a date marked in my planner for “last day of job hunting for 2023” if I don’t get this job though. Current Job closes the week between Christmas and New Year’s so I will definitely take a break then if I am still searching. Let’s hope not though! 2 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8173004
Quof October 30, 2023 Share October 30, 2023 My mother just asked me a stupid question via email. Please make me wait to respond, rather than hit "send" on the snarky response I have typed That's all. 2 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8192736
Quof October 30, 2023 Share October 30, 2023 Hey, I asked for assistance, not just validation. My finger is hovering over the "send" button, guys. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8192777
shapeshifter October 30, 2023 Share October 30, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Quof said: My mother just asked me a stupid question via email. Please make me wait to respond, rather than hit "send" on the snarky response I have typed That's all. 23 minutes ago, Quof said: Hey, I asked for assistance, not just validation. My finger is hovering over the "send" button, guys. Oohh! Don't do it! First: If she asked a stupid question because she doesn't know any better, you really need to talk to her rather than text or email, IMO. Second: See First. Edited October 30, 2023 by shapeshifter 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8192797
Bastet October 30, 2023 Share October 30, 2023 Oh, I can't help, as I'd have hit "Send" an hour ago. 3 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8192806
Quof October 30, 2023 Share October 30, 2023 (edited) Sent. Sometimes you have to point out to people that they are being stupid, because all previous attempts to correct their error have failed. Edited October 30, 2023 by Quof 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8192822
Ancaster November 4, 2023 Share November 4, 2023 On 10/11/2023 at 6:38 AM, Cloud9Shopper said: Things with my mom are actually pretty good these days, although she is still driving me nuts about my work issues/career. I told her yesterday that I landed a final interview for a job I think would be a great fit and she told me I should take a break after this because soon no employers will be hiring/hiring will slow down. I don’t disagree and am aware it’s mid-October and yes, generally hiring gets slower in the winter. But I just wish she could be more supportive of my goal to get out of the call center/customer service (even emails and chats can feel draining after a while) and understand why I’m looking to begin with. She thinks I just shouldn’t take the customers’ anger and emotions personally and that I should stick around because my boss likes me. Which is true, my boss is appreciative. But I don’t think I should stay because I “might” get promoted someday or because I “need” to stay a year. It’s like she chooses to ignore the fact that I only took the job because only call centers made me offers after I got laid off and it’s not as if anyone in the family said they would help me financially while I looked for something better. And sorry but when people are yelling at you constantly and the calls are back to back to back, I don’t have the personality where I can just keep smiling through that and not let it bother me. I don’t want to work at a place where customers and the job demands have me in tears frequently! Look, I have nothing against people who like customer service work. (Kudos to them.) Or who want to stay at a job forever and not advance, or who don’t mind sticking around because there is a possibility they get promoted. We all have different work goals. But just like we say “you don’t have the job until you have the offer,” there is no promotion off the phones until my boss says I have it. I wish she’d recognize that I have a goal to leave customer service work and it’s OK for me to pursue that goal. My career is not my coworker’s, or my sister’s, or my third cousin’s. I don’t get why my mom just can’t get behind supporting her own child in something I want. Seems like maybe you need to not bring up your job search and if your mother does, have an answer ready to deflect the conversation - "I'm sorry mom, I've decided not to talk about my job search until I've found a new one." Followed immediately by, "How 'bout them Cowboys." Rinse and repeat as necessary, and don't be drawn into a conversation you don't want to have/repeat. 5 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8198373
theredhead77 November 6, 2023 Share November 6, 2023 A good reminder for the singles and childfree people ahead of the holidays: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cyf9BqsL1AQ/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 7 1 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200304
nokat November 6, 2023 Share November 6, 2023 48 minutes ago, theredhead77 said: A good reminder for the singles and childfree people ahead of the holidays: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cyf9BqsL1AQ/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Yes, don't be insulted by my getting a room. How many people do we don't want to see? 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200357
shapeshifter November 6, 2023 Share November 6, 2023 Whether single (all but 8 years of 70), with or without children, I don't mind mind having a futon on the floor in the living room or what-have-you. Just don't greet me with an angry rant the next morning for either flushing or not flushing the toilet in the middle of the night because that's how you and your husband do it, and therefore that's how civilized people do it. "Just can't win for losing" with my sister. 1 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200386
Bastet November 6, 2023 Share November 6, 2023 2 hours ago, theredhead77 said: A good reminder for the singles and childfree people ahead of the holidays: I love "Our singlehood does not subsidize your couplehood". 8 1 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200463
nokat November 6, 2023 Share November 6, 2023 1 hour ago, Bastet said: I love "Our singlehood does not subsidize your couplehood". I didn't have my own, but I love to see your great grandchildren. Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200524
theredhead77 November 7, 2023 Share November 7, 2023 5 hours ago, Bastet said: I love "Our singlehood does not subsidize your couplehood". Same. I'm really lucky in my friend group that none of my coupled friends assume that I will pay half. Things are divided by person. I spent the weekend with friends from CA who moved out of state and we took turns paying for food, drinks, and Uber, so we all got points. At the end of the weekend I added up mine (minus the tab I picked up as a thank-you for hosting me), my friend added up their cards, she decided since they drank most of the alcohol we bought at the store that they'd cover most of it, and we divided the final total by 3. Back when we lived near each other, if me and her went out one on one we typically either split the bill or I pay here, she pays there but if the three of us went out they typically picked up two tabs to my 1 or we'd add it up and split the cost in the AM. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8200908
Bastet November 7, 2023 Share November 7, 2023 2 hours ago, theredhead77 said: I'm really lucky in my friend group that none of my coupled friends assume that I will pay half. Things are divided by person. Same here. In fact, I think the first time I read about this "a couple counts as one, not two" nonsense was on these forums a few years ago. Ever since, it has been on my radar, and I've come across a few complaints about it. Going back to the "You don't have to sleep on an air mattress in the kitchen because you're single" aspect: Comedian Kathleen Madigan comes from a huge family, and all her brothers and sisters got married and had kids, while she is happily single and child-free. She has talked about being expected to give up her own lake house to sleep in the basement of her parents' neighboring lake house (which she paid for) instead when a bunch of the family gets together there, because it's presumed that the siblings with kids should take over the houses. 1 5 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8201029
theredhead77 November 7, 2023 Share November 7, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Bastet said: Same here. In fact, I think the first time I read about this "a couple counts as one, not two" nonsense was on these forums a few years ago. Ever since, it has been on my radar, and I've come across a few complaints about it. Going back to the "You don't have to sleep on an air mattress in the kitchen because you're single" aspect: Comedian Kathleen Madigan comes from a huge family, and all her brothers and sisters got married and had kids, while she is happily single and child-free. She has talked about being expected to give up her own lake house to sleep in the basement of her parents' neighboring lake house (which she paid for) instead when a bunch of the family gets together there, because it's presumed that the siblings with kids should take over the houses. That is some bullshit. My current house in NV is not set up for visitors. I don't want to be seen as a free crash pad for friends coming to Vegas when they couldn't bother to visit me in GA (can't blame them but still...). I have a really nice Sealy or Serta airbed (complete with headboard) that I slept on for several weeks while waiting for my bed that the few guests I'll let stay here can use, or they're welcome to stay at one of the million hotels out here. If I'm lucky enough for my parents to visit they'll get a hotel but if my mom comes solo I'll gladly give her my bed and take the air bed. She is the only person I'll do that for and only because there's no way she could get on or off the air bed due to age and mobility. Edited November 7, 2023 by theredhead77 1 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8201067
Laura Holt November 10, 2023 Share November 10, 2023 (edited) Along the lines of hosting for Christmas we're now having my niece and her family stay with us. They were going to have to try and find hotel accommodations for their family of 5 because of reasons too complicated to go into here. Always drama at the holidays. Edited November 10, 2023 by Laura Holt 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8205002
Bastet November 10, 2023 Share November 10, 2023 Wow - five people, presumably some of them children?! That's very generous of you, and I hope they're properly appreciative. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8205131
BlueSkies November 13, 2023 Share November 13, 2023 I'll try and see this as positive.... I kind of became a bit more accepting of my families dynamics. Especially as Holiday season is coming and I will see them all inevitably. I tried. I realize at my age now I am not going to influence how they think or how they roll so to speak. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8208192
Mindthinkr November 13, 2023 Share November 13, 2023 I’ve been trying to get my daughter to give me a yes or no as to whether or not she will be coming to my house (with the grandkids) for Thanksgiving dinner. I wrote her this am stating that I need to know (so I can make a menu, shop and plan). Still no word. She’s done this to me once before which resulted in pizza on paper plates for the holiday meal. I don’t care what she chooses. I have invites which are connected to RSVPs. I’m frustrated. Le sigh. 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8208426
oliviabenson November 14, 2023 Share November 14, 2023 If I don’t reach out to my extended family first they do not contact me at all. Thanksgiving I will be alone as usual since no one even invites me. Not even a pity invite… I think I’m going to die from being alone. Like no one cares about me at all. 8 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8209398
oliviabenson November 14, 2023 Share November 14, 2023 23 hours ago, Mindthinkr said: I’ve been trying to get my daughter to give me a yes or no as to whether or not she will be coming to my house (with the grandkids) for Thanksgiving dinner. I wrote her this am stating that I need to know (so I can make a menu, shop and plan). Still no word. She’s done this to me once before which resulted in pizza on paper plates for the holiday meal. I don’t care what she chooses. I have invites which are connected to RSVPs. I’m frustrated. Le sigh. I don’t think she is coming. If she was you’d know. I would make plans for thanksgiving. Maybe stock up on snacks in case they show up but I wouldn’t buy a whole thanksgiving feast to cook. Just my 2 cents. 1 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8209406
shapeshifter November 14, 2023 Share November 14, 2023 6 minutes ago, oliviabenson said: I don’t think she is coming. If she was you’d know. I would make plans for thanksgiving. Maybe stock up on snacks in case they show up but I wouldn’t buy a whole thanksgiving feast to cook. Just my 2 cents. 23 hours ago, Mindthinkr said: I’ve been trying to get my daughter to give me a yes or no as to whether or not she will be coming to my house (with the grandkids) for Thanksgiving dinner. I wrote her this am stating that I need to know (so I can make a menu, shop and plan). Still no word. She’s done this to me once before which resulted in pizza on paper plates for the holiday meal. I don’t care what she chooses. I have invites which are connected to RSVPs. I’m frustrated. Le sigh. And pizza on paper plates makes just as much sense as a turkey. 2 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8209415
isalicat November 15, 2023 Share November 15, 2023 Wow - for those of you (like me) who will be without family for Thanksgiving, may I strongly recommend that you get out of the house and find a community meal to attend? (There are at least three of them around me - all free and all welcoming whomever shows up.) Make a new friend by talking to the people around you - just start with the weather if you don't want to talk about the food...but don't stay home and just be alone and lonely. Humans need companionship and fellowship and all that...if it doesn't come to you, go to it! 😺 5 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8210351
ABay November 16, 2023 Share November 16, 2023 (edited) Is it OK if I'm alone at home and not lonely? Because I find that perfectly possible. Edited November 16, 2023 by ABay 9 10 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8210400
shapeshifter November 16, 2023 Share November 16, 2023 3 minutes ago, ABay said: Is it OK if I'm alone at home and not lonely? Because I find that perfectly possible. Ditto. Given how Thanksgiving Family Fiascos are so much fodder for comedians, I think we may be the smart ones. 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8210401
Gramto6 November 16, 2023 Share November 16, 2023 2 hours ago, ABay said: Is it OK if I'm alone at home and not lonely? Because I find that perfectly possible. Ditto me too! I'm there with you too @shapeshifter! 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8210882
Mindthinkr November 16, 2023 Share November 16, 2023 Finally heard from my daughter yesterday. My grandkids want to spend the day with their cousins so she is planning to have the day home alone. She works 2-3 jobs to keep her ship afloat. I imagine that a day off is some luxurious me time. I’m having dinner with a neighbor’s family. She asked me to bring mashed potatoes which I’m happy to do. 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8211145
shapeshifter November 16, 2023 Share November 16, 2023 My daughter, son-in-law, and grand-toddler will be having ThanxG. at her mother-in-law's with her hubby's step-father, his sister, and his sister's 2 kids who are the closest cousins to my grandson. Although I'm not invited, I imagine I could be if I was into it. But I'm not. 🤷🏻♀️ Maybe I will finally get around to at least doing some sketches for a double portrait of my son-in-law's Dad and step-mom, who I do like to spend time with, and who actually want an original watercolor portrait. 6 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8211194
Rose Quartz November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 You’d be surprised at how many groups hold a 5K on Thanksgiving day. It’s easy to sign up to run/walk or volunteer at one if you’d like to get out of the house for a little and interact with other people. https://runsignup.com/Races 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214085
PRgal November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 If I had a day all to myself, I’d order a pizza and watch all four new episodes of The Crown. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214088
Gramto6 November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 5 hours ago, Rose Quartz said: You’d be surprised at how many groups hold a 5K on Thanksgiving day. It’s easy to sign up to run/walk or volunteer at one if you’d like to get out of the house for a little and interact with other people. https://runsignup.com/Races Back in my running days, when I lived in CA, I did a lot of 5K runs just for fun. In Oakland, CA every Thanksgiving morning they had the Turkey Trot. In the beginning many, many years ago it was a fundraiser for the Fire Dept. now google shows many different charities involved. Every year my friends and I would run it just to get out before the big meal coming up! It was a lot of fun for a good cause...(still is for good causes). 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214259
Rose Quartz November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 47 minutes ago, Gramto6 said: Back in my running days, when I lived in CA, I did a lot of 5K runs just for fun. In Oakland, CA every Thanksgiving morning they had the Turkey Trot. In the beginning many, many years ago it was a fundraiser for the Fire Dept. now google shows many different charities involved. Every year my friends and I would run it just to get out before the big meal coming up! It was a lot of fun for a good cause...(still is for good causes). Yeah, a lot of places promote their race as a way to burn off some extra calories before the big turkey dinner 😀 plus as you said they usually benefit local charities. Since I don't have family nearby I thought this would be something different to do for Thanksgiving as well as giving back to the community a little. I mostly volunteer these days and have met some very nice people. And some of the races will even give you a t-shirt or other swag for helping out. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214313
EtheltoTillie November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 (edited) They had the NYC Turkey Trot in Central Park today! I didn't run. My friend told me--she was walking her dogs. Edited November 19, 2023 by EtheltoTillie 1 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214424
BlueSkies November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 I've kind of accepted what my family dynamics are at this point and aren't getting too terribly worked up yet about stuff. But I'm sure as the week goes on I'll feel a little more stressed about it. But damn it's the last year before a Presidential election in the U.S. I feel next year will really be tough! 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214465
Gramto6 November 19, 2023 Share November 19, 2023 4 hours ago, Rose Quartz said: Yeah, a lot of places promote their race as a way to burn off some extra calories before the big turkey dinner 😀 plus as you said they usually benefit local charities. Since I don't have family nearby I thought this would be something different to do for Thanksgiving as well as giving back to the community a little. I mostly volunteer these days and have met some very nice people. And some of the races will even give you a t-shirt or other swag for helping out. Back in the day the participants also got a t-shirt. I have a box full of t-shirts from various runs I have done. Hmmm, maybe I should make a patchwork throw out of them! 1 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8214524
Cloud9Shopper November 23, 2023 Share November 23, 2023 (edited) Taking a break from the family chaos at my aunt’s house. There are close to 25 people here, a lot of who I barely know or care about. Like my dad’s cousin’s cousin is here. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him in my life. Probably never will again. Same with my dad’s cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend. My uncle’s relatives who I’m not even related to. I think I care about maybe half the people here and have closer relationships to them. I’m more introverted, though, and have never been a huge fan of 20+ person gatherings where I have to make forced small talk about work or how I like my house. My grandmother wishes she could come help me decorate my house but I am nearly 40. I really want to have something that’s my own without my family giving input of “why don’t you have china?” (Because I don’t need it) “Why can’t I come decorate it?” “You should get this for your kitchen; I’ll call (distant distant relative I’ve never met) and ask where she got this thing for her kitchen!” That’s when I have to nod and thank them for the suggestions…you all have your own houses! Let me have mine the way I want it and you can do whatever you want in yours… I feel selfish sometimes for wishing I could have a quiet Thanksgiving to myself or a couple relatives instead of having to sit through a large family gathering of mostly strangers. Edited November 23, 2023 by Cloud9Shopper 8 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8218922
Maisiesmom November 23, 2023 Share November 23, 2023 Hi everyone and Happy Thanksgiving! Feeling kind of sad since I have no family to celebrate with-both parents and my sister have all died. The only family I have left is my younger brother who I have not seen in a very long time. (We had a falling out after Dad died (over the inheritance) so I don't really give a shit about him.) I have nephews but they live far away. So today it's just me and the hubs. I am making Cornish hens for supper (1st time so wish me luck!) Sure is less stressful than what some of you are doing, I'm sure. Anyway, hoping everyone has a peaceful and happy day and bless you all. 3 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8218934
oliviabenson November 23, 2023 Share November 23, 2023 Well I got a last minute invite to my friends house. It’s just me, her and her mom. It’s pretty nice and quiet. I’m going to have turkey after all and not be alone. My orphan heart is smiling. 3 2 2 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8218986
StatisticalOutlier November 23, 2023 Share November 23, 2023 2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said: I feel selfish sometimes for wishing I could have a quiet Thanksgiving to myself or a couple relatives instead of having to sit through a large family gathering of mostly strangers. It might be hard to establish a splinter group of relatives, but a Thanksgiving to yourself has 100% assent from the people with the power to do it: you. 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8219016
shapeshifter November 23, 2023 Share November 23, 2023 2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said: I feel selfish sometimes for wishing I could have a quiet Thanksgiving to myself or a couple relatives instead of having to sit through a large family gathering of mostly strangers. My middle daughter finally visited recently. A couple of times she refused to do an activity because she needed "alone time." Maybe you too have a low threshold for socialization. Maybe for the next family gathering you can at least plan on arriving late and leaving early (come up with excuses beforehand). 2 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8219022
Sweedish Fish November 24, 2023 Share November 24, 2023 (edited) I had pretzels (and I hate pretzels) could manage a few. And they were cinnamon sugar coated to make it worse. When did I buy those? And why? But did post a couple of happy t'gving funny things to family far away?? Tried to order more soup, but alas all things closed. Next year better. Getting really really tired of this grieving and sleeping stuff. Edited November 24, 2023 by Sweedish Fish 5 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8219123
PRgal November 25, 2023 Share November 25, 2023 I've asked my parents to speak Cantonese with my son more often - he was just evaluated for speech and says he has trouble with the "l" and "th" sounds and recommends some therapy. The "l" is fine at the beginning of words (so he'd say, letter and lunch correctly (he'll say that "l" sound properly as well)), but not at the end. Owl, for example, comes out as "ow-oh," which is typical for people who grew up in a primarily Cantonese-speaking environment/community/place where Cantonese is the main language. His "v" sound is okay, however (my dad has trouble with it - often comes out as "w" or "f" depending on place). As for the "th" sound, I'd say that it's fine when he reads it, especially at the beginning of words, but not in other parts. If I ask him what my first name is, he might say Cyn-fee-ah (I'm less concerned about "th" since a lot of kids his age can't say "th" anyway). I feel that he may improve if he primarily hears English from the two of us and from school (this comes out as "skoo" 99% of the time, even if he's reading it out). 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8220563
shapeshifter November 27, 2023 Share November 27, 2023 On 11/25/2023 at 3:51 PM, PRgal said: I've asked my parents to speak Cantonese with my son more often - he was just evaluated for speech and says he has trouble with the "l" and "th" sounds and recommends some therapy. The "l" is fine at the beginning of words (so he'd say, letter and lunch correctly (he'll say that "l" sound properly as well)), but not at the end. Owl, for example, comes out as "ow-oh," which is typical for people who grew up in a primarily Cantonese-speaking environment/community/place where Cantonese is the main language. His "v" sound is okay, however (my dad has trouble with it - often comes out as "w" or "f" depending on place). As for the "th" sound, I'd say that it's fine when he reads it, especially at the beginning of words, but not in other parts. If I ask him what my first name is, he might say Cyn-fee-ah (I'm less concerned about "th" since a lot of kids his age can't say "th" anyway). I feel that he may improve if he primarily hears English from the two of us and from school (this comes out as "skoo" 99% of the time, even if he's reading it out). Does he always pronounce those words as your parents do? Regardless, your asking your parents to speak Cantonese to your son seems like a good idea since it will stimulate his multilingual-learning and maybe give your parents a sense that you appreciate what they can offer your son. Did his speech evaluators know he has other adults in the home who pronounce those words that way? 1 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8222123
PRgal November 27, 2023 Share November 27, 2023 1 hour ago, shapeshifter said: Does he always pronounce those words as your parents do? Regardless, your asking your parents to speak Cantonese to your son seems like a good idea since it will stimulate his multilingual-learning and maybe give your parents a sense that you appreciate what they can offer your son. Did his speech evaluators know he has other adults in the home who pronounce those words that way? The speech evaluator wrote back and said it was consistent of other children his age (the “th” and “l” issue) but one of the goals for Grade 1 is to work on those letters. He will be receiving help while at school. I do not believe the evaluator knew about our family situation until I wrote back to ask them to clarify. Goals can be set high at this school (but still, I think, anyway, a bit less rigorous than his previous school where the (unofficial) goal was for the children to get offers at the city’s various independent prep schools (including the one my son is at right now). 3 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8222172
AgathaC December 6, 2023 Share December 6, 2023 Life as a stepmom regularly has me banging my head against the wall (usually figuratively, not literally, but some days…). But this time of year drives me nuts. Stepson (nearly 13) has, in the last 7 years, never actually asked us for anything for Christmas or birthday (early January). So we end up having to guess or figure out things he might actually use. Most of what we’ve given him in years past ended up, barely touched, in a donate pile. Why? Because and his mom and her parents buy him crap year-round. He doesn’t want anything because he already gets it all pre-holiday. Case in point, apparently, this week, SS’s mom gave him a virtual reality headset. Two weeks after she took him for a week at Disney World. Three weeks before Christmas. Four weeks before his birthday. We gave him one last year that has gathered dust under his bed. But he apparently won’t stop using the one from his mother. i feel for Hubby, because I know it hurts him and drives him crazy. But we have no control over it. And Hubby doesn’t believe in buying kids everything they want or catering to their every desire. He’s taking SS to DC for a few days after Christmas (feeling like he’s old enough for some cultural trips), but he’s already feeling like SS will just be bored and won’t give a damn. Not after Disney and the big cruise his mom just told him she’s taking him on for spring break. I just try to be supportive and stay out of it. But it is frustrating to watch. 7 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8232831
shapeshifter December 6, 2023 Share December 6, 2023 2 minutes ago, AgathaC said: Life as a stepmom regularly has me banging my head against the wall (usually figuratively, not literally, but some days…). But this time of year drives me nuts. Stepson (nearly 13) has, in the last 7 years, never actually asked us for anything for Christmas or birthday (early January). So we end up having to guess or figure out things he might actually use. Most of what we’ve given him in years past ended up, barely touched, in a donate pile. Why? Because and his mom and her parents buy him crap year-round. He doesn’t want anything because he already gets it all pre-holiday. Case in point, apparently, this week, SS’s mom gave him a virtual reality headset. Two weeks after she took him for a week at Disney World. Three weeks before Christmas. Four weeks before his birthday. We gave him one last year that has gathered dust under his bed. But he apparently won’t stop using the one from his mother. i feel for Hubby, because I know it hurts him and drives him crazy. But we have no control over it. And Hubby doesn’t believe in buying kids everything they want or catering to their every desire. He’s taking SS to DC for a few days after Christmas (feeling like he’s old enough for some cultural trips), but he’s already feeling like SS will just be bored and won’t give a damn. Not after Disney and the big cruise his mom just told him she’s taking him on for spring break. I just try to be supportive and stay out of it. But it is frustrating to watch. DC is pretty amazing, IMO. Good choice! 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8232834
GHScorpiosRule December 6, 2023 Share December 6, 2023 1 hour ago, AgathaC said: He’s taking SS to DC for a few days after Christmas (feeling like he’s old enough for some cultural trips) 1 hour ago, shapeshifter said: DC is pretty amazing, IMO. We have some really good memorials here-Vietnam, WWII, Korean, plus the air and space museum is AWESOME as is the Natural History. There's Ford's Theatre... 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8232913
AgathaC December 6, 2023 Share December 6, 2023 38 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said: We have some really good memorials here-Vietnam, WWII, Korean, plus the air and space museum is AWESOME as is the Natural History. There's Ford's Theatre... Oh yes. Hubby has been several times and has a good list of places. I told him even if SS doesn’t appreciate it now, the hope is he will later! 4 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8232963
Bastet December 6, 2023 Share December 6, 2023 3 hours ago, AgathaC said: he’s already feeling like SS will just be bored and won’t give a damn. I went to DC at that age (and younger, and older -- my dad traveled there for work a lot, so my mom and I tagged along quite a few times) and loved it. But your stepson sounds like a little shit, so maybe he indeed won't. There's a lot to choose from, though, so hopefully they can find something to enjoy together. 2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said: plus the air and space museum is AWESOME I still go there every time I visit. 6 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8233104
oliviabenson December 7, 2023 Share December 7, 2023 On 12/6/2023 at 11:18 AM, AgathaC said: Life as a stepmom regularly has me banging my head against the wall (usually figuratively, not literally, but some days…). But this time of year drives me nuts. Stepson (nearly 13) has, in the last 7 years, never actually asked us for anything for Christmas or birthday (early January). So we end up having to guess or figure out things he might actually use. Most of what we’ve given him in years past ended up, barely touched, in a donate pile. Why? Because and his mom and her parents buy him crap year-round. He doesn’t want anything because he already gets it all pre-holiday. Case in point, apparently, this week, SS’s mom gave him a virtual reality headset. Two weeks after she took him for a week at Disney World. Three weeks before Christmas. Four weeks before his birthday. We gave him one last year that has gathered dust under his bed. But he apparently won’t stop using the one from his mother. i feel for Hubby, because I know it hurts him and drives him crazy. But we have no control over it. And Hubby doesn’t believe in buying kids everything they want or catering to their every desire. He’s taking SS to DC for a few days after Christmas (feeling like he’s old enough for some cultural trips), but he’s already feeling like SS will just be bored and won’t give a damn. Not after Disney and the big cruise his mom just told him she’s taking him on for spring break. I just try to be supportive and stay out of it. But it is frustrating to watch. I’d just give him a GC to Amazon or $$$. Beats buying things that he throws under the bed. 2 Link to comment https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/25754-family-ties-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/page/47/#findComment-8234500
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