S02.E03: The Wedding Night And Morning After

[davetheman]

Hi Dave... but if it was you and you had just met someone would you go that far to make them uncomfortable? Even with a vest I am sure she was uncomfortable. If you, yourself, are trying to impress or get to know someone wouldn't you think it appropriate to approach them a little gentler rather than embarrassing them? He could have spent that time better than that.

 

And Jaclyn did as but proceeded without hardly any input from him. Yep, he totally could have spoken up!

 

I'm sure she was uncomfortable, but thats where the entertainment comes from, the person's unease. You could read it as him feeling comfortable already with her to do it. I know some people only try to mess with people they care about, so maybe its him trying to really jump start the connection with her in his mind. As for trying to embarass her, I doubt he is trying to embarass her in front of the world and cameras, probably just not thinking outside of trying to joke on her at the time. IMHO.

[Jack Sampson]

I'm thinking the winter trip was because Davina has some body issues.  She stayed bundled up the entire show (even in the room), I doubt she would have been comfortable in a bikini.

 

Also, Dr. Levkoff has some serious vocal fry.  She could benefit from some speech therapy. 

[MsPH]

I don't know. I'm black and I grew up in a mixed environment in the South. When I look over my life the majority of the people I got into it with are black. But when you take that experience and put that hate on a whole race, its just as bad as someone outside a racial group putting it down because of a negative experience. Self hate isn't healthy, it would be one thing if she said she had a white preference, but to say she doesn't like any indian men at all and she doesn't want anyone of a eastern religion faith, that is a level of self hate that really needs to be addressed. It simply is not healthy at all. she literally hates herself and what she is, when she said she self identified as white, it really should have setoff some alarm bells for the so called therapists on the show.

 

I don't know if it's that simple. I do think it's alarming when a person turns their back on their own culture, but Davina seems to have grown up in western culture surrounded mostly by white people, so why should she force herself to identify with the Indian culture? It's not really her culture. It's her parents' culture and one of them was useless and the other got shunned by the Indian community. Why must she identify with people she has little in common with except her genes? I think that's a bit racist too, putting people in boxes based on their appearance instead of how they feel inside. And I think everyone has a right to choose which religions they want to be subjected to, especially when they're planning to raise a family with the person. If Davina doesn't practice any eastern religion then why should she marry a man who does? If she has mostly bad experiences with Indians, why should she marry into an Indian family? I don't really see what she would benefit from that. Of course if she were to meet the man of her dreams who just happens to be Indian then it would be sad if she dismissed him based on his ethnicity. But no reason to specifically seek out Indian men, if you have no affinity towards them. Knowing the experts of this show, they'd stick her with the only Indian man in the pool of applicants just because they're both Indian. I think that's what happened with Vaughn and Monet anyway.

[ethalfrida]

I'm sure she was uncomfortable, but thats where the entertainment comes from, the person's unease. You could read it as him feeling comfortable already with her to do it. I know some people only try to mess with people they care about, so maybe its him trying to really jump start the connection with her in his mind. As for trying to embarass her, I doubt he is trying to embarass her in front of the world and cameras, probably just not thinking outside of trying to joke on her at the time. IMHO.

I agree with messing with people you only care about and I love it! And I respect your HO...

[Neurochick]

I don't know. I'm black and I grew up in a mixed environment in the South. When I look over my life the majority of the people I got into it with are black. But when you take that experience and put that hate on a whole race, its just as bad as someone outside a racial group putting it down because of a negative experience. Self hate isn't healthy, it would be one thing if she said she had a white preference, but to say she doesn't like any indian men at all and she doesn't want anyone of a eastern religion faith, that is a level of self hate that really needs to be addressed. It simply is not healthy at all. she literally hates herself and what she is, when she said she self identified as white, it really should have setoff some alarm bells for the so called therapists on the show.

 

 

I didn't hear her say she identified as white, but that the things she was interested were things that she felt white people were interested in.  Ideally, you shouldn't hate an entire race for what a few people did to you.  Maybe you're right, but I just get a little ticked off when people, especially women are expected to date and marry  men of their race, while men can date and marry whoever they want.

[roamyn]

I don't know if it's that simple. I do think it's alarming when a person turns their back on their own culture, but Davina seems to have grown up in western culture surrounded mostly by white people, so why should she force herself to identify with the Indian culture? It's not really her culture. It's her parents' culture and one of them was useless and the other got shunned by the Indian community. Why must she identify with people she has little in common with except her genes? I think that's a bit racist too, putting people in boxes based on their appearance instead of how they feel inside. And I think everyone has a right to choose which religions they want to be subjected to, especially when they're planning to raise a family with the person. If Davina doesn't practice any eastern religion then why should she marry a man who does? If she has mostly bad experiences with Indians, why should she marry into an Indian family? I don't really see what she would benefit from that. Of course if she were to meet the man of her dreams who just happens to be Indian then it would be sad if she dismissed him based on his ethnicity. But no reason to specifically seek out Indian men, if you have no affinity towards them. Knowing the experts of this show, they'd stick her with the only Indian man in the pool of applicants just because they're both Indian. I think that's what happened with Vaughn and Monet anyway.

Good post. I completely agree. I don't see it as self-hatred or turning away from her culture. THEY turned away from her, by treating her mother, her sister and herself as pariahs.

Edited April 3, 2015 by roamyn

[Bella]

I'm sort of seeing both sides on Davinna. I will say, though, that two of my friends are Indian and they couldn't be more different. In fact, if they didn't have that in common, they'd have nothing in common.

 

OTOH, she could be saying this as a short-hand for something like "I am a thoroughly assimilated American, which has made dating Indian men very frustrating since they usually have a foot back in the subcontinent and often have habits and cultural patterns that I can't relate to. They also have expectations of me that aren't realistic, which creates frustration on their end.  So I don't bother any more." She probably means something like that.

[davetheman]

I don't know if it's that simple. I do think it's alarming when a person turns their back on their own culture, but Davina seems to have grown up in western culture surrounded mostly by white people, so why should she force herself to identify with the Indian culture? It's not really her culture. It's her parents' culture and one of them was useless and the other got shunned by the Indian community. Why must she identify with people she has little in common with except her genes? I think that's a bit racist too, putting people in boxes based on their appearance instead of how they feel inside. And I think everyone has a right to choose which religions they want to be subjected to, especially when they're planning to raise a family with the person. If Davina doesn't practice any eastern religion then why should she marry a man who does? If she has mostly bad experiences with Indians, why should she marry into an Indian family? I don't really see what she would benefit from that. Of course if she were to meet the man of her dreams who just happens to be Indian then it would be sad if she dismissed him based on his ethnicity. But no reason to specifically seek out Indian men, if you have no affinity towards them. Knowing the experts of this show, they'd stick her with the only Indian man in the pool of applicants just because they're both Indian. I think that's what happened with Vaughn and Monet anyway.

 

The issue isn't about culture, she didn't say she didn't want a man from indian culture, she said she only wants white men. She hates eastern religion as well. She identifies as white. All these things add up to a person who doesn't like what they are and are trying to run from it and disassociate themselves from what they are and that is unhealthy. I don't think Vaughn and Monet forcing two blacks together is applicable here IMHO.

 

I just think if you have a person who doesn't even know how to love themselves, its going to be impossible for them to love others. This is probably why she hasn't ever had any long term successful relationships, according to her friends.

 

I didn't hear her say she identified as white, but that the things she was interested were things that she felt white people were interested in.  Ideally, you shouldn't hate an entire race for what a few people did to you.  Maybe you're right, but I just get a little ticked off when people, especially women are expected to date and marry  men of their race, while men can date and marry whoever they want.

I think she said it in the 2nd episode, but she did say she identifies herself as being white. To me that raises some serious eyebrows.

The issue to me isn't interracial dating, its why she hates herself, her heritage, her own ethnicity.

[shopper73]

As far as Ryan D and his sense of humor, that would not appeal to me at all! Also I think it is different in a male/female relationship vs. a group of guy friends. I just don't get him as funny, I think he is hard to tolerate and was single for a reason.

[shopper73]

As far as Ryan D and his sense of humor, that would not appeal to me at all! Also I think it is different in a male/female relationship vs. a group of guy friends. I just don't get him as funny, I think he is hard to tolerate and was single for a reason.

[Pepper Mostly]

I have a different take.  What she said was that because her mother was divorced, she didn't get too much love from "her" people. I can understand why she might not want to date Indian men.  I'm black, If I grew up around black people calling me names, making fun of my features, etc, I might not want to have anything to do with black men either.

 

Not for nothing, but Indian is not a race, its a nationality. As I understand it, Indians would consider themselves white.

 

If a woman of Italian extraction said "no Italian men!" would anyone care? And if Davina never practiced her religion or isn't particularly religious, is it self hate if she says she doesn't care what religion, if any, a potential husband has? Do I hate myself because I was brought up in the United Church of Christ, but I'm an atheist?

 

Davina never really experienced Indian culture, except in a negative way. I think she's forged an identity that suits her,  and owns it. A couple of generations ago this was the norm here in the US. People assimilated and left their old culture behind. Maybe granny spoke the native language but the kids grew up speaking English, playing baseball, and eating hot dogs and hamburgers. Do they all hate themselves too? Nowadays its the fashion to own your ethnic background with pride, and I'm all for that. But it is decidedly not one size fits all.

 

And I still think Ryan is a Colossal Douchebag. I am aghast at his douchiness. I'm sorry, but if any guy dumped me in the water he would get his walking papers pronto. He KNEW she was scared, and he scared her on purpose. They are still feeling each other out and he used what little knowledge he has about her to "joke" and "kid" by doing things she doesn't like. Who does that? A douchebag. A tone deaf, self centered douchebag. I'd be delighted to see if he proves me wrong, but I have doubt.

 

[davetheman]

Not for nothing, but Indian is not a race, its a nationality. As I understand it, Indians would consider themselves white.

 

If a woman of Italian extraction said "no Italian men!" would anyone care? And if Davina never practiced her religion or isn't particularly religious, is it self hate if she says she doesn't care what religion, if any, a potential husband has? Do I hate myself because I was brought up in the United Church of Christ, but I'm an atheist?

 

Davina never really experienced Indian culture, except in a negative way. I think she's forged an identity that suits her,  and owns it. A couple of generations ago this was the norm here in the US. People assimilated and left their old culture behind. Maybe granny spoke the native language but the kids grew up speaking English, playing baseball, and eating hot dogs and hamburgers. Do they all hate themselves too? Nowadays its the fashion to own your ethnic background with pride, and I'm all for that. But it is decidedly not one size fits all.

 

if a Italian woman said she didn't want to date any italian men only white men and that she didn't want any roman catholics aaas well, and that although she was italian or of italian descent she didn't see herself as italian but white, I would say she would have just as many negative issues going on as Davina. She would get the same treatment as I would give anyone who exhibited such obvious signs of self-hatred.

 

There is a difference between assimilating into society and hating your own culture, heritage, and etc. A very large difference.

[cpcathy]

I agree about Douchebag Ryan (at least he has a nickname now), you don't get into that "I'm joking with you" phase until you know each other really well, and it's deemed okay by your spouse/partner.  You only poke fun at your partner when you've hit that comfort level and even then, you need to be doing it only in love.

[Pepper Mostly]

I believe Italians are white also.

 

I don't believe Davina "hates" her culture and/or background. She's not connected to it. I can't fault her for it--I know a lot of people who don't feel especially connected to their ethnic background. shrug. To me its just different strokes.

[MsPH]

The issue isn't about culture, she didn't say she didn't want a man from indian culture, she said she only wants white men. She hates eastern religion as well. She identifies as white. All these things add up to a person who doesn't like what they are and are trying to run from it and disassociate themselves from what they are and that is unhealthy. I don't think Vaughn and Monet forcing two blacks together is applicable here IMHO.

 

I just think if you have a person who doesn't even know how to love themselves, its going to be impossible for them to love others. This is probably why she hasn't ever had any long term successful relationships, according to her friends.

 

I think she said it in the 2nd episode, but she did say she identifies herself as being white. To me that raises some serious eyebrows.

The issue to me isn't interracial dating, its why she hates herself, her heritage, her own ethnicity.

 

I just think it's a huge leap to assume she hates herself. From what I've seen of her, she doesn't seem to think or act Indian at all. So even if she hated Indians (which I've never heard her say), then doesn't that exclude her, since she doesn't identify herself as Indian? I mean image if she was adopted and hadn't been exposed to Indian culture at all. Would you still expect her to see herself as Indian first and foremost and anything else is self-hate? I think she has her own identity that isn't tied to her ethnicity, but is closer in thoughts and actions to white Americans than Indians. I see no problem with that. What I know of Indian culture, from talking with Indians who actually live in India and are proud of being Indian, is that individuality is frowned upon. You live to make your family and community happy and shy away from anything that may cause them shame. That's probably why her mother was shunned too. She was the shameful black sheep just because she was a single parent. Davina has first-hand experience of what happens when you go against the norm in an Indian community and it's not pretty. If she were to marry an Indian man, she would also get Indian in-laws and there's a very high chance of them being just as traditional as the people who shunned her mother and her. They would always have a say in what goes on in her family and how she should treat her husband and raise her kids. Knowing what an independent woman she is, I can totally understand her wanting to avoid that at all cost. That doesn't mean she hates everything Indian. 

[KYBlonde]

Regarding Davina, I think a lot of people confuse ethnicity with culture.  I dated a man for a while that was ethnically Chinese, but was culturally Vietnamese because Vietnam was where he grew up before moving to the states.  I have also noticed that a lot of people confuse nationality with ethnicity.  An Indian person ethnically who lives in America is an American, or Indian American (not to be confused with Native American of course).  I realize most of you are aware of that, but I am blown away by how many people are clueless about such things. Also India is on the Asian continent, but I don't know many Indians who consider themselves Asian, and I know quite a few. YMMV

Edited April 3, 2015 by KYBlonde

[roamyn]

Not for nothing, but Indian is not a race, its a nationality. As I understand it, Indians would consider themselves white.

If a woman of Italian extraction said "no Italian men!" would anyone care? And if Davina never practiced her religion or isn't particularly religious, is it self hate if she says she doesn't care what religion, if any, a potential husband has? Do I hate myself because I was brought up in the United Church of Christ, but I'm an atheist?

Davina never really experienced Indian culture, except in a negative way. I think she's forged an identity that suits her, and owns it. A couple of generations ago this was the norm here in the US. People assimilated and left their old culture behind. Maybe granny spoke the native language but the kids grew up speaking English, playing baseball, and eating hot dogs and hamburgers. Do they all hate themselves too? Nowadays its the fashion to own your ethnic background with pride, and I'm all for that. But it is decidedly not one size fits all.

And I still think Ryan is a Colossal Douchebag. I am aghast at his douchiness. I'm sorry, but if any guy dumped me in the water he would get his walking papers pronto. He KNEW she was scared, and he scared her on purpose. They are still feeling each other out and he used what little knowledge he has about her to "joke" and "kid" by doing things she doesn't like. Who does that? A douchebag. A tone deaf, self centered douchebag. I'd be delighted to see if he proves me wrong, but I have doubt.

I think I love you, Pepper

[Neurochick]

I too thought Italians were white as well.

 

I just think it's a huge leap to assume she hates herself. From what I've seen of her, she doesn't seem to think or act Indian at all. So even if she hated Indians (which I've never heard her say), then doesn't that exclude her, since she doesn't identify herself as Indian? I mean image if she was adopted and hadn't been exposed to Indian culture at all. Would you still expect her to see herself as Indian first and foremost and anything else is self-hate? I think she has her own identity that isn't tied to her ethnicity, but is closer in thoughts and actions to white Americans than Indians.

 

 

I agree with this. She doesn't hate Indians, she just doesn't have anything in common with Indians, that's my take on what she said.  It's not self hate.  Why should a person have to date and marry someone or want to date and marry someone just because of race and/or ethnicity?  What about things like shared values?  

[gingerandcloves]

After watching this episode, some more thoughts: so far Jessica & Ryan D = Monet & Vaughn; Jaclyn & Ryan R = Jamie & Doug; Davina & Sean = Cortney & Jason - will it end the same way as Season 1?

 

I agree with a lot of you, I can't figure out why the "experts" didn't match up Jessica with Ryan R, when they seem like such a better fit with each other. I cannot see Jessica and Ryan D lasting. He seems very immature, and tone-deaf when it comes to reading cues. Any guy that dumped me in the water like that would have got an earful, and I am not even especially scared of the water. For a guy who supposedly idolizes his grandparents' relationship, he doesn't seem to have a clue how to respect and treat a woman. Maybe he is a jokester, but that kind of person often is very mean-spirited behind the joking. I feel badly for Jessica because she seems like a sweet person and deserves better.

 

Jaclyn and Ryan R - first off, I'm not getting her disdain for his looks, I actually think he is quite nice looking, and he has a great body...but I know it's an individual preference sort of thing. I do think there is a possibility they will work out as a couple - she has to let down her walls and start seeing herself as part of a couple. She can't always be the one in charge. He needs to speak up and let her know what makes him uncomfortable. As far as physicality, if he is patient like Doug was with Jamie, I think Jaclyn will come around. She doesn't seem completely repulsed by him, and she does seem to appreciate his personality, and she seems fairly convinced that the experts matched them up for a reason, so I think she has a chance of coming around. 

 

Davina and Sean - Davina seems fairly self-aware, and willing to step out her comfort zone, and I like that she's willing to hold back on getting physical right away. I would like to know more about her relationship with her mother...I'm wondering how much Davina needs her mother's approval, and how she will feel if she doesn't get it. Sean - using my non-existent psychological skills here - I feel like he has some unresolved anger issues still (maybe?). I dunno. On the surface he seems kind and patient, so far anyway. These two obviously had instant chemistry, but is that going to be enough? Things are really good now, but they may have trouble meshing their lives together once they get back from the honeymoon.

[davetheman]

I just think it's a huge leap to assume she hates herself. From what I've seen of her, she doesn't seem to think or act Indian at all. So even if she hated Indians (which I've never heard her say), then doesn't that exclude her, since she doesn't identify herself as Indian? I mean image if she was adopted and hadn't been exposed to Indian culture at all. Would you still expect her to see herself as Indian first and foremost and anything else is self-hate? I think she has her own identity that isn't tied to her ethnicity, but is closer in thoughts and actions to white Americans than Indians. I see no problem with that. What I know of Indian culture, from talking with Indians who actually live in India and are proud of being Indian, is that individuality is frowned upon. You live to make your family and community happy and shy away from anything that may cause them shame. That's probably why her mother was shunned too. She was the shameful black sheep just because she was a single parent. Davina has first-hand experience of what happens when you go against the norm in an Indian community and it's not pretty. If she were to marry an Indian man, she would also get Indian in-laws and there's a very high chance of them being just as traditional as the people who shunned her mother and her. They would always have a say in what goes on in her family and how she should treat her husband and raise her kids. Knowing what an independent woman she is, I can totally understand her wanting to avoid that at all cost. That doesn't mean she hates everything Indian. 

 

Its a combination of the things she says that lead me to believe she hates herself. It isn't about her not following her parent's cultural traditions, so far everyone on the show isn't following their cultural traditions regarding marriage in the US. The issue in my eyes is her disdain for her ethnicity to the point that she rejects who she is. It isn't the preference for others its the rejection of what you are that should be worrisome.

 

As for your example, no if she hated indians but felt it was okay because she wasn't indian, it would simply make her a racist and delusional. Much like the Clayton Bigsby character on the Chappelle show, you know the blind black racist, who didn't know he was black. In the US she isn't white culturally or in terms of what US society deems white at this time, so its very weird to see her say the things she does.

 

As for you thinking its cool that she doesn't see herself as indian, I guess that is a interesting take. Its weird to me why a person would not see themself as what they are. It would be like a person who is right handed saying "I see myself as left handed" that is a disconnect from reality.

 

I too thought Italians were white as well.

 

 

I agree with this. She doesn't hate Indians, she just doesn't have anything in common with Indians, that's my take on what she said.  It's not self hate.  Why should a person have to date and marry someone or want to date and marry someone just because of race and/or ethnicity?  What about things like shared values?  

 

Something that is funny about the US society and its history of what constitutes white is that a lot of italian americans ignore and a few irish americans bring up, is that there was a time when irish and italians were not viewed as being white. Irish weren't really considered white until after the civil war for the most part, before that time up to the start of the country Irish and blacks lived together on the bottom of the US society as ethnic/racial outsiders of "white" america. They said Irish were albino apes, physically, culturally, and morally akin to blacks as not being real humans. Italians were much the same way up to the late 1930s italians were considered distinct and sepearate from white americans and again lived mainly with blacks. Even the slurs against them were loans from slurs used towards blacks, in the south they were segregated from schooling with "whites" by law, just like blacks. All society's are weird like that, especially when you start getting into the local flavor of what constitutes race and whiteness in the US.

 

As for Davina, if she didn't want someone part of traditional indian culture she would have said that. If she beleives she is the only indian in the US or NY area that lives a totally americanized life that would be delusional as well.

 

It would be as ridiculous if Monet or Vaugh said they didn't want a black person because they both lived healthy and didn't want to eat soul food and because they were bullied by black people when they were younger, oh and by the way they identify with being white.

Edited April 3, 2015 by davetheman

[Bella]

We now have separate threads for the couples. If you want to talk about them as people outside of what we saw in the episodes, that's the place to do it.

 

For example, the discussion about Davina and how she relates to her ancestry should probably shift over to the Davina & Sean thread unless you're talking about something we saw in this episode specifically. Similarly, if you want to talk about Ryan D's maturity or lack thereof, it would belong here if you're talking about him taking Jessica kayaking but in their couples thread if you want to discuss his behavior overall.

 

Thanks!

[Passthepopcorn]

As far as Ryan D and his sense of humor, that would not appeal to me at all! Also I think it is different in a male/female relationship vs. a group of guy friends. I just don't get him as funny, I think he is hard to tolerate and was single for a reason.

Agree. And I think he likes that identity. He said to Jessica's family: "Let's see if you can handle ME". And his Mom said he needed someone who can challenge him. He likes to shock and dominate.

[rubyred]

I'm beginning to think the more interesting "social experiment" is the reactions (and projections) that the audience puts on the couples of whom we really know very little. We're hearing sounds bites (and assuming subtext), interpreting nonverbal communication, and assigning our own judgements based on our experiences, not theirs.

 

The thing I don't get about Ryan D(ouchebag's) treatment of Jessica is that he's so rhapsodic about his grandparent's relationship and yet...would Grandpa D have dumped wife out of a kayak like that? He talks like they were an idyllic couple so what was their relationship like that he would use that as a model in treating his wife of one day? (That is rhetorical, of course. His actions have been subverting his words, IMO, since he was getting interviewed by the casting directors, er, "experts.")

 

I'm hoping Sean's (unseen) outburst was partially caused by the emotional intensity of the whole situation. He and Davina are in hyperdrive over-share mode, and while I think that intensity and attraction makes them the better candidate for lasting, part of me thinks that it's going to burn them out sooner.

 

And then I wonder why I'm watching because tbh I question marriage in general. (Or, what marriage means in today's society). But here I am on my sofa!

[cerealboxkilla]

I'm getting serious Vaughn/Monet vibes from Ryan/Jessica. The fact that they were the only couple to sleep together on the first night was the first warning sign. Plus, the way Ryan goes on and on about how attracted he is to her feels a little bit like Vaughn. It's a little "the lady doth protest too much," you know?

 

I'm confused about Davina because she said she grew up in a community that was mostly white and that she experienced lots of racism. So she responds by alienating her own race and embracing the people who teased and made fun of her? Did I hear that conversation wrong? Anyway, if she lives in New York, I know for a fact she's not the only Americanized Indian walking around who shuns the native culture. Only someone who suffers from identity issues would think they were the *only* one. But anyway, she and Sean are still the only pairing that makes sense right now.

 

Unpopular opinion coming through, but I started to like Jacelyn a little in this episode. She at least realizes that Ryan is a catch but doesn't know how to make things different. However, she's super emasculating. Even the way she was sitting at the dinner table was masculine--slouched, one arm thrown over the back of the chair. I bet she was "manspreading" under that table.

Edited April 4, 2015 by cerealboxkilla

[sleekandchic]

I think RyanD is turned off Jessica because his eyebrows are ridiculously super-manicured, while hers are looking caterpillar-y. Yes I think he's that shallow, insincere and one-note. I notice how he can't make eye contact with Jessica. Somethings not right.

The Jaclyn/Ryan meal ordering scene and the depiction of the Sean rant over the missing ring are so comical and exaggerated that I'm finding it hard to believe that they weren't producer-driven. Hilarity ensues! The problem for me is that this show tries to present itself as so damn earnest. In truth, it's just another cotton-candy reality show.

So far, I really like Ryan R. Jaclyn seems to me to be a superficial person though. I wonder if she's able to see past his bad veneers and possible hairpiece? In real life, I think those type of things would probably be major dealbreakers for Jac. Maybe she'll come around.

Either some of these people were blatantly dishonest with themselves and with their questionnaire-answers, or else the experts are just not reading things right. There are huge disconnects going on, imo.

[shopper73]

I'm beginning to think the more interesting "social experiment" is the reactions (and projections) that the audience puts on the couples of whom we really know very little. We're hearing sounds bites (and assuming subtext), interpreting nonverbal communication, and assigning our own judgements based on our experiences, not theirs.

The thing I don't get about Ryan D(ouchebag's) treatment of Jessica is that he's so rhapsodic about his grandparent's relationship and yet...would Grandpa D have dumped wife out of a kayak like that? He talks like they were an idyllic couple so what was their relationship like that he would use that as a model in treating his wife of one day? (That is rhetorical, of course. His actions have been subverting his words, IMO, since he was getting interviewed by the casting directors, er, "experts.")

I'm hoping Sean's (unseen) outburst was partially caused by the emotional intensity of the whole situation. He and Davina are in hyperdrive over-share mode, and while I think that intensity and attraction makes them the better candidate for lasting, part of me thinks that it's going to burn them out sooner.

And then I wonder why I'm watching because tbh I question marriage in general. (Or, what marriage means in today's society). But here I am on my sofa!

[shopper73]

This is a very interesting post! I am totally hooked on watching these marriages and the drama unfold, but part of me also knows the show and what we see of these couples is totally manipulated and probably fake. Then part of me thinks these people couldn't be that accomplished at acting, so some of it is real.

As far as the institution of marriage, no one should do it as a trial like these couples. Everyone knows divorce is an option, but a very last resort.

I feel like Davina will not get to really know Sean for a long long time. I don't know if Jaclyn and RR are compatible. I would want to end the experiment now if I was Jessica.

[Pepper Mostly]

I think I love you, Pepper

Awww. :D Back at ya, roamyn!! 

[ElectricCityy]

Jaclyn needs to get over herself, quick. I don't buy that she is so repulsed by Ryan she isn't even willing to not put him in the friendzone after knowing him for only 2 days. Even Beyonce married that fuggo Jay Z. Jaclyn will be single for another decade waiting for some male model to come along. And I can only imagine the number the guys that have friendzoned her for being one of the "bros". She also doesn't know how to act in relationships. Ryan has his work cut out for him.

 

Ryan D is giving me flashbacks of high school boys. There is nothing wrong with having a playful sense of humor but don't do it at your mates expense. He basically called her stupid then made some racist crack about rice and beans. Threw her in the ocean twice when she was clearly annoyed the first time. He sure flipped the script once he got a piece of ass. He's not genuine. 

 

Sean is way too vulnerable. I couldn't even watch that convo in the car with Davina upon first viewing. Way to personal for someone he hadn't even known for 24 hours.

Edited April 4, 2015 by ElectricCityy

[Passthepopcorn]

This is a very interesting post! I am totally hooked on watching these marriages and the drama unfold, but part of me also knows the show and what we see of these couples is totally manipulated and probably fake. Then part of me thinks these people couldn't be that accomplished at acting, so some of it is real.

As far as the institution of marriage, no one should do it as a trial like these couples. Everyone knows divorce is an option, but a very last resort.

I feel like Davina will not get to really know Sean for a long long time. I don't know if Jaclyn and RR are compatible. I would want to end the experiment now if I was Jessica.

I agree! I know it is a reality show and yet these people are really there, getting married, exposing themselves and their families. I think they truly hope it works, it can't be just to be on TV. I guess that is why it gets so fascinating at times (fakes, edits and all). And yes, I think it is crazy.

[davetheman]

Re: the hotel staff, I didn't realize that being bullied as a kid gave you an excuse to bully others as an adult. Sean was a total jerk. I'd be MORTIFIED if I were her.

Apparently she is one of those chicks who are attracted to asses who bully other people and are "protective" of her.

She is just as messed up as he is. That made me laugh when she said that she liked him going off on the staff for her.

[Stinamaia]

So far, I don't see any of these couples being a good match.

Part of the problem is probably because there is a rather shallow pool of people who are willing to go through this "social experiment."

[Jack Sampson]

Stinamaia, on 06 Apr 2015 - 10:24 AM, said:

So far, I don't see any of these couples being a good match.

Part of the problem is probably because there is a rather shallow pool of people who are willing to go through this "social experiment."

Since the last season was a moderate success and the participants became (very) minor celebrities, I'm thinking the pool was bigger this year.  Maybe quality didn't improve...

[MsPH]

I believe they said 7,000 applicants nationwide. Not sure what happened to all the people outside the NY metropolitan area though.