All Episodes Talk: What's Up Doc?

[Bastet]

I liked that all three characters' actions made perfect sense - Abby spent her whole life dealing with a woman who would not take her meds, so of course she'd want her brother immediately locked down someplace where he had to stay medicated, hoping that establishing a treatment pattern early would mean he'd stick with it.  Maggie knows what it's like to feel the way he does, to get the diagnosis, and to deal with the side effects of the medication, so of course she understands that it's going to be a process that can't be rushed or forced; no treatment plan will work if he doesn't want it to.  And the brother knows Abby took care of him his whole life, but it's suddenly no longer the two "normals" dealing with a sick mom, now he's "one of them" and Abby is the outsider, so of course he first turns to the one who can best understand what he's going through.

It was nicely done. 

But enough already.

[RedbirdNelly]

34 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Yeah, it was pretty obvious that Abby felt excluded from the family circle as the only non-bipolar member.  However, to an extent, she brought it on herself with her rigid attitudes and lack of acceptance of any viewpoint other than her own concerning the problem.  She was sure the Air Force MP's wouldn't realize Eric was mentally ill, then certain the Air Force docs couldn't possibly diagnose him or give him the proper meds.  She was utterly flabbergasted and hurt that her brother had confided in their mother and called her first. The only acceptable treatment for him was a rigid program where someone watched him all day long and made sure he took his meds.  I can see how both her mother and her brother found her to be awfully judgmental and dismissive of their own feelings and needs.

I don't disagree--I just could relate to the sense of loss from having your support person/the person who "got you" and what you went through, no longer get you. It would be very isolating. But she totally botched the handling of it. And I thought she was unnecessarily nasty to her mom.

[voiceover]

29 minutes ago, Bastet said:

But enough already.

Because *this* /\ /\ /\ cannot be said enough.

I love Kerry calling Romano "opportunistic asshole".  Pot:kettle.

Edited November 8, 2017 by voiceover
Ha, just clarifying

[doodlebug]

30 minutes ago, Bastet said:

. 

But enough already.

Alas, when it comes to Abby and her family, it is never enough.  Or at least TPTB think so.  At least the worst is over when it comes to Abby's family by the end of this season. Not to worry, though, she manages to be front and center in virtually every storyline for the next few seasons, it's just her mom and brother who go away.

[Bastet]

1 minute ago, doodlebug said:

Not to worry, though, she manages to be front and center in virtually every storyline for the next few seasons, it's just her mom and brother who go away.

We'll see how I feel about it, but I don't remember getting annoyed by her the first time around - it's not the focus on Abby I mind, it's all the time spent out of the hospital on her family. 

Ha - Susan's "fried tofu?" marveling about veganism is so dated!

[slasherboy]

18 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Watching today's episodes has reminded me how annoying Pratt's 'brother' Leon was.  I know we're supposed to feel empathy for the poor brain damaged guy, but all the weeping and wailing gets old fast.

And, yeah, as soon as the wayward brother turned up in the ER, I was thinking, 'Science, bitches!'.  ER really did have some great casting people, it's a veritable who's who of the up and coming.

I literally muted the TV when Leon was moaning and groaning and wailing and every other word was "G", which is what he called Pratt.  Is Pratt's first name Greg or something?  Some storylines I half-watch and anything involving Pratt is one of them.  Thank you Gallant for getting Leon on that bus!

When Jesse Pinkman, er, Aaron Paul first showed up, I thought that was a gigantic zit on his chin then realized it was a piercing of some sort.  Why couldn't he be in a several-episode arc instead of so many others ... Leon, for example?  (See how I brought it all back to the beginning?)  AP Is such an effective actor and so under-used here.

 

25 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Ha - Susan's "fried tofu?" marveling about veganism is so dated!

I thought the same thing when Susan said, "He's a vegan, whatever that is!"  For the most part, this show is timeless and relevant, then something like "whatever that is!" turns up and reminds me that this episode is 14 years old.

[Bastet]

"I'm on my way to work.  Remember, that place where you used to practice medicine?"  Hee.  I love Kerry.

[voiceover]

Guest Star Bingo: Patrick Fugit, Susan's cancer patient, was William in Almost Famous.  My favorite '00s  movie!

[doodlebug]

56 minutes ago, slasherboy said:

I literally muted the TV when Leon was moaning and groaning and wailing and every other word was "G", which is what he called Pratt.  Is Pratt's first name Greg or something?  Some storylines I half-watch and anything involving Pratt is one of them.  Thank you Gallant for getting Leon on that bus!

When Jesse Pinkman, er, Aaron Paul first showed up, I thought that was a gigantic zit on his chin then realized it was a piercing of some sort.  Why couldn't he be in a several-episode arc instead of so many others ... Leon, for example?  (See how I brought it all back to the beginning?)  AP Is such an effective actor and so under-used here.

 

I thought the same thing when Susan said, "He's a vegan, whatever that is!"  For the most part, this show is timeless and relevant, then something like "whatever that is!" turns up and reminds me that this episode is 14 years old.

Pratt's first name is indeed Greg.

The other ER time wonk, especially in the early years, is the lack of cell phones.  Nowadays, most docs and management types carry a cell phone in addition to or instead of their pager.  Kerry's lost pager wouldn't have been as likely to have been an issue nowadays since she'd also have a cell phone with her at all times.  I work for a major Midwestern hospital system, they issue an iPhone to every single staff doctor and we're expected to answer it when we're working or on call, no matter what.

[voiceover]

I know how this ends, but I still had the feelz when Carter proposed.

If only Maria Bello had stayed!  I think he & Anna could have been what Elizabeth and Mark never were.

[Bastet]

5 minutes ago, voiceover said:

If only Maria Bello had stayed!  I think he & Anna could have been what Elizabeth and Mark never were.

Carter and Anna were pretty much the only romantic relationship/potential romantic relationship I ever truly liked on this show other than Benton and Corday.  The rest have either been uninteresting, fine but just sort of there, or annoying.

[voiceover]

Here's a thing the show did that I liked: bringing back minor characters, even years later.  The doctor who talks to Luka about his trauma was a psych intern early on.

[Bastet]

Ugh, seriously, Elizabeth?  Supporting racial profiling? 

Carter is adorable with Maggie, which is a nice palate cleanser, but everyone blowing off Pratt and Gallant's experience is seriously pissing me off.

[desertflower]

29 minutes ago, voiceover said:

Here's a thing the show did that I liked: bringing back minor characters, even years later.  The doctor who talks to Luka about his trauma was a psych intern early on.

Yes, I love that so much. I'm sure during the original airings I missed most of them but watching the episodes closer together now it's easier to notice the recurring characters. It's fun spotting them, and when it's someone from really early on (like Pablo the drunk) it's a nice connection to the "golden era" seasons. 

[walnutqueen]

Ooh, lookey - it's Meredith Grey's dad, Thatcher!

[Gigi43]

2 hours ago, Bastet said:

"I'm on my way to work.  Remember, that place where you used to practice medicine?"  Hee.  I love Kerry.

 

Yelling at the mugger was gold, "you need medical attention!  You asshole!"

 

POP editing really made Pratts confrontation  of the cop bad. I know this show aired at 10pm and this is 6pm but still you know what he said anyway, all the editing does is kill a scene. Depending on the channels that  air Law and Orders sometimes slurs get beeped and they're always episode about hate crimes and it's just so annoying. Little kids aren't watching these reruns.

[absnow54]

June Squibb sighting in No Strings Attached. 

[Zoe]

I think today's big star goes to Chris Pine!

(and an honorable mention to Michael Pena)

Edited November 9, 2017 by Zoe

[voiceover]

Here's some...I dunno; guess I'll call it Reverse Guest Bingo...Tuesday's ep of This is Us had two ER regulars playing very significant judges: cardiologist Dr Kayson (Sam Anderson), and Nurse Connie (Connie Marie Brazelton)!

[desertflower]

3 hours ago, voiceover said:

Here's some...I dunno; guess I'll call it Reverse Guest Bingo...Tuesday's ep of This is Us had two ER regulars playing very significant judges: cardiologist Dr Kayson (Sam Anderson), and Nurse Connie (Connie Marie Brazelton)!

Yes! I posted that in the other thread right after I saw them, I was so excited! Lol. It took me a minute to recognize Kayson. 

[RedbirdNelly]

15 hours ago, voiceover said:

Here's a thing the show did that I liked: bringing back minor characters, even years later.  The doctor who talks to Luka about his trauma was a psych intern early on.

completely agree with this. I've noticed Dr. Kayson (the cardiologist who was mean to Susan in season 1) showing up in a few episodes in season 9. I like those tid bits of continuity .

[voiceover]

GSB: Josh Radnor as Councilman Bruce Weitz's you-saw-this-coming lover.

eta: Waaah.  I liked Maura Tierney so much during her NewsRadio days.  I think the *actors* have good chemistry.  They just hung too much on that character.  It was like trying to love Eeyore, if AA Milne had written "House at Eeyore Corner". 

Edited November 9, 2017 by voiceover

[Bastet]

Ugh, it's the life flight dude Susan inexplicably dates (marries?).  I distinctly remember watching one of their episodes with a friend of mine, and us turning to each other and saying at the same time, "He's gross." 

Plus, his appearance means we're closer to Romano having a helicopter dropped on him.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Bastet

[Bastet]

I'm so glad for this patient who wants an abortion at the same time as her kidney operation, so she can start on chemo right away and have her best chance at not dying like her mom did.  Usually all we get is self-sacrificing women who insist on going ahead with the pregnancy, never mind that doing so means they likely won't be around to actually raise the kid.

Shifting gears ...

"He's a cockroach.  He'll refuse to evolve and yet outlive us all."  Oh, Kerry, just wait.  I also liked, "You're a one-armed surgeon, an HR nightmare, and a terrible administrator."

[slf]

42 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I'm so glad for this patient who wants an abortion at the same time as her kidney operation, so she can start on chemo right away and have her best chance at not dying like her mom did.  Usually all we get is self-sacrificing women who insist on going ahead with the pregnancy, never mind that doing so means they likely won't be around to actually raise the kid.

I was just thinking this. I'm so glad they went this route instead since tv/films so often take the position that a true woman would die to give birth (literally).

[desertflower]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

Ugh, it's the life flight dude Susan inexplicably dates (marries?).  I distinctly remember watching one of their episodes with a friend of mine, and us turning to each other and saying at the same time, "He's gross." 

Plus, his appearance means we're closer to Romano having a helicopter dropped on him.

Donal Logue. He used to play a really gross, sweaty cab driver character in MTV promo spots. He's done lots of other things but I always think of him as that cab driver. 

[walnutqueen]

17 minutes ago, desertflower said:

Donal Logue. He used to play a really gross, sweaty cab driver character in MTV promo spots. He's done lots of other things but I always think of him as that cab driver. 

He was great in the (sadly) short-lived series Terriers.

[voiceover]

14 minutes ago, desertflower said:

Donal Logue. He used to play a really gross, sweaty cab driver character in MTV promo spots. He's done lots of other things but I always think of him as that cab driver. 

I knew him from The Tao of Steve (he was a charming slacker who was the title character), so I was happy to see him on the show.

[Bastet]

19 minutes ago, desertflower said:

He used to play a really gross, sweaty cab driver character in MTV promo spots.

Well, that works, since he's greasy and gross in this.  Totally unappealing; Susan can do much better.

[Bastet]

The scene between Romano and Elizabeth, when he acknowledges he's probably going to have to lose his arm, is so well done.

I know from postings here that Abby is ultimately going to screw up, big time, at Gamma's funeral, but for now she's right -- her family situation is more time-sensitive (and, you know, her family) than Carter's.  If she doesn't go to her brother now, he may take off again.  If she goes to get him, she can be back tonight; Carter can handle things without her for a few hours, and he has to go pick up his dad and start making arrangements anyway.  I know they wind up missing the plane, and his dad takes a later flight, too, he can't get a hold of his mom, he winds up being alone with the body because the funeral home is as behind schedule as everyone else, etc. but at the time Carter is snapping at her, what he says is anger is actually the truth of the situation: Go get your brother, my grandmother will still be dead when you get back. 

Poor Carter, though; he didn't have the relationship he wanted with any of his parents or grandparents, but he came closest with her, and now she's gone.

[Gigi43]

35 minutes ago, desertflower said:

Donal Logue. He used to play a really gross, sweaty cab driver character in MTV promo spots. He's done lots of other things but I always think of him as that cab driver. 

 He has made a nice career for himself. Currently  he's  one of the leads on Gatham, and is the father of Rollins baby on SVU but he's  been "deep undercover ", since he's  doing Gotham.

 

Kerry's line about Romano out living everyone made me wince.

I'm already so mad about Gamma's funeral on an unnatural level.

[WendyCR72]

40 minutes ago, Gigi43 said:

I'm already so mad about Gamma's funeral on an unnatural level.

Of all the WTF things ingrained on my TV-watching memory, this is among the most annoying. UGH. So, to use an old phrase, I feel your pain.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

The scene between Romano and Elizabeth, when he acknowledges he's probably going to have to lose his arm, is so well done.

I know from postings here that Abby is ultimately going to screw up, big time, at Gamma's funeral, but for now she's right -- her family situation is more time-sensitive (and, you know, her family) than Carter's.  If she doesn't go to her brother now, he may take off again.  If she goes to get him, she can be back tonight; Carter can handle things without her for a few hours, and he has to go pick up his dad and start making arrangements anyway.  I know they wind up missing the plane, and his dad takes a later flight, too, he can't get a hold of his mom, he winds up being alone with the body because the funeral home is as behind schedule as everyone else, etc. but at the time Carter is snapping at her, what he says is anger is actually the truth of the situation: Go get your brother, my grandmother will still be dead when you get back. 

Poor Carter, though; he didn't have the relationship he wanted with any of his parents or grandparents, but he came closest with her, and now she's gone.

I think that it was the realization that it never even crossed Abby's mind to delay or change her plans that lead to Carter's frustration with her.  As he's begun to realize over the past few weeks, Abby is never going to change; and that means he and his needs will never be her priority and that she will always insist on being the only one to handle her family's every problem herself despite showing stunningly poor judgment when it comes to managing their crises.  It's not like he hasn't seen what happens when Abby decides she is the only one who can go to her sick mother or brother; and this time, it will happen again.  It's completely obvious and predictable to anyone with any common sense, which excludes Abby. Heck, as soon as she meets up with her brother, she's whining about getting him into a 'program' because that worked so well with her mother and her brother in the past.  As we'll see once more in tomorrow's episode, history repeats itself which, luckily, leads to Carter figuring out that he is done with her.

[CarolMK]

I'm having a hard time watching all of the episodes, even though I really want to since I previously didn't watch beyond season 7. Even with my DVR picking up the series for me, I'm always 3-4 episodes behind. Will all 15 seasons be shown over the next couple of months?

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, CarolMK said:

I'm having a hard time watching all of the episodes, even though I really want to since I previously didn't watch beyond season 7. Even with my DVR picking up the series for me, I'm always 3-4 episodes behind. Will all 15 seasons be shown over the next couple of months?

I don't think anyone knows.  Pop TV has the rights to all of them, but they haven't announced their plans.

[absnow54]

4 hours ago, CarolMK said:

I'm having a hard time watching all of the episodes, even though I really want to since I previously didn't watch beyond season 7. Even with my DVR picking up the series for me, I'm always 3-4 episodes behind. Will all 15 seasons be shown over the next couple of months?

They've been advertising all 15 seasons, so I would assume so. If you fall too far behind on the weekday episodes, you can jump to the Saturday cycle. They're doing 7 episode blocks and are near the end of season 8 right now. 

[desertflower]

It is hard to keep up. I record them then watch the next day but if you have to miss a couple days all of a sudden you're behind a whole season!

[RedbirdNelly]

my DVR is struggling and I'm considering switching to the Saturday cycle to reduce my weekly watch load from 15 to 7 episodes. I do wish they'd spread it out--even just 2 episodes a day. It's hard to keep up but I definitely want to see all 15 seasons.

I'm still behind and watched the episode last night where Carter and Abby go to the Carter Foundation event and she's pressuring him to be more involved. It's fair to challenge him some on "could you get more involved" and he was overly sensitive, but still she was out of line pushing so much. It's fine not to want to devote yourself to fundraisers. He's not obligated to do that. If he doesn't want to run the foundation (even if he changed its focus from art to medicine), he doesn't have to. You can ask questions/probe why do you feel this way, but way too pushy.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, desertflower said:

It is hard to keep up. I record them then watch the next day but if you have to miss a couple days all of a sudden you're behind a whole season!

Since they're showing at a slower pace on Saturdays, you may want to jump in there and it'll take you at a more reasonable rate. As noted above, they're in season 8 currently while the daily episodes are about to enter season 10.

Quote

48 minutes ago, RedbirdNelly said:

 

I'm still behind and watched the episode last night where Carter and Abby go to the Carter Foundation event and she's pressuring him to be more involved. It's fair to challenge him some on "could you get more involved" and he was overly sensitive, but still she was out of line pushing so much. It's fine not to want to devote yourself to fundraisers. He's not obligated to do that. If he doesn't want to run the foundation (even if he changed its focus from art to medicine), he doesn't have to. You can ask questions/probe why do you feel this way, but way too pushy.

 

Yes, it is kinda interesting how Abby is so very quick to tell Carter and everyone else how to live their lives while being absolutely obnoxious when anyone even hints that maybe she could make some changes.

[absnow54]

I'm so glad we're almost done with Carter and Abby. Abby hasn't bothered me too much (again, I'm sure I'll eat my words soon...) but I really dislike Carter when he's with her. I get that Carter has dropped everything to be there for Abby, and that Abby's cyclical family drama has repeated the same storyline every 3 episodes, but it's completely understandable that Abby would choose finding her sick brother who is a danger to himself over Carter's immediate grief. Carter has other friends to offer emotional support. Susan was covering his shift, but certainly Deb would be there for him if he needed it, and I'm sure Benton would act all put upon by the suggestion, but would still drive in from the burbs if someone called him.

I just can't believe Abby and Carter are still together at this point. They're both just so miserable around each other. Cut your loses already!

Onto Luka. He's been on the show for 4 seasons at this point, and I still don't get his character at all outside of his tragic pain. I get that he's supposed to be the new Doug, but George Clooney had the charisma to sell Doug's ne'er do well struggles. Luka sort of ping pongs between stalwart and dependable to irresponsible jackass, and even when he's supposed to be an ass, he's still so... dull? It was nice to see him smile again, I guess.

Unrelated, but I'm bummed they never tried pairing Luka and Susan. In the few scenes they've shared, they had really good chemistry, and I think Luka could have used Susan's "Who cares, get over it!" attitude.

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, absnow54 said:

I'm so glad we're almost done with Carter and Abby. Abby hasn't bothered me too much (again, I'm sure I'll eat my words soon...) but I really dislike Carter when he's with her. I get that Carter has dropped everything to be there for Abby, and that Abby's cyclical family drama has repeated the same storyline every 3 episodes, but it's completely understandable that Abby would choose finding her sick brother who is a danger to himself over Carter's immediate grief. Carter has other friends to offer emotional support. Susan was covering his shift, but certainly Deb would be there for him if he needed it, and I'm sure Benton would act all put upon by the suggestion, but would still drive in from the burbs if someone called him.

I didn't get the impression Carter expected Abby to stay with him, just that circumstances evolved in such a way that he, a guy whose really had to deal with all sorts of life crises on his own since he was a kid, once more doesn't have support from the people he's closest to when he needs it.  I think it was more Abby's attitude, which was to more or less ignore his pain while expecting him to drop everything and listen to her massively idiotic plan and write prescriptions for her brother right then and there so she could hightail it out of town.  She even tried to dismiss his grief, 'She wasn't sick, she lived a long life, she didn't suffer'. Bullshit.  He was feeling alone in the world at that moment and her response to his grandmother's death only reinforced it.  He got more support from Malik, Pratt, Susan and Kerry than from his would-be fiancée.  I can see why he might've been disappointed in her; she was unable to focus on anything but herself.  And, yeah, leaving town to chase a crazy relative is what she does, he's seen it end in disaster; so I can see why he might think a more reasonable person might try another plan.  However, Abby continues to be obsessed with the notion that she is the only one in the entire world who knows what to do when, in fact, she is terrible at handling this stuff.

ETA: I've got a bipolar brother myself.  The crises are real, but, after all these years, I feel like I and my sisters have developed a little common sense and approach these things in ways that are most likely going to achieve the desired results.

Edited November 10, 2017 by doodlebug

[rcc]

To me when Abby didn't stay with John when she knew he had just lost the most important person in his life was the end. She will spend her life running after her mother and brother trying to save them from themselves and they constantly do not appreciate what she does for them. Nature of the illness I realize but this time Abby has gone too far in taking her relationship with Carter for granted.

Heartbreaking last scene with John and his dead grandmother in her bedroom.

[Bastet]

Well, y'all can write me off as just as heartless and selfish as Abby, because if my newly-diagnosed brother (which is a completely different scenario than if she'd gone chasing after Maggie for the hundredth time) who'd been missing - and, for a while, feared dead - suddenly called me up and I had a window of opportunity to respond to him and try to get him help, damn right I'd be doing that for a few hours rather than skipping it, and risking him running off in his state, because my boyfriend's grandma died.  Horrible timing for the two things to coincide.  But:  My family versus his, and time sensitive versus not.  It's a simple equation for me just as it was for Abby -- go get the brother, and rejoin the boyfriend that night.

(The funeral shenanigans that are to come, no, I would not do.  But as things existed in the episode being discussed, I am completely supportive of Abby's actions, even though I also completely understand the emotion behind Carter's reaction to it; he's not obligated to be rational in that moment.)

[Bastet]

Ha – the huge painting of Carter on horseback is fantastic.  If we've seen that during previous trips to Gamma's house, I've somehow missed it.

[rcc]

The recent revelations of sexual abuse in Hollywood has affected one of the stars of this show.   

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/anthony-edwards-writes-sexual-molestation-175907128.html                                  

[Bastet]

Romano asking, in his way, Elizabeth to be in the OR during his surgery -- he's always at his most human with her, and I love it every time.

When Luka and Abby first started dating, I didn't think they had good chemistry together, but I slowly came around and now I think they have nice chemistry.  And when Abby and Carter first started dating, I thought they did have good chemistry together, and in fairly short order I didn't.  Opposite trajectories.

Even though I'm not working today, I've still had this on largely as background noise, so I haven't paid much attention to the patients. 

I never warmed to Pratt, so I was happy to hear this was his last day, but then I thought he was around a lot longer and checked IMDb -- he's there through the season fifteen premiere (so, if he's only in that first episode of the season, let me guess - he dies in something dramatic that happens in the season 14 finale?).  Ugh; I hope he improves, because now he's just one step up from Malucci.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Bastet

[rcc]

Was there any explanation as to why Susan married that guy? Then they divorced. What was up with all that?

[Bastet]

6 minutes ago, rcc said:

Was there any explanation as to why Susan married that guy? Then they divorced. What was up with all that?

It was a drunken marriage from that trip to Vegas (Susan, Chen, and a bunch of hospital/hospital-adjacent people went on a Vegas weekend) - they hooked up, went for burgers, realized the drive-thru was a wedding chapel, and in their booze-soaked minds thought, hey, why not.  So now they're trying to get it annulled, but still hooking up (which makes me want to puke just thinking about it), and I can't remember if they get it annulled or stay married.

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, Bastet said:

Ha – the huge painting of Carter on horseback is fantastic.  If we've seen that during previous trips to Gamma's house, I've somehow missed it.

We saw it when Carol and Anna visited Gamma to raise funds for Carol's clinic in Season 4. One of the staff told them it was Carter and his horse, Marigold. Carter's horse was also mentioned in Season 1 by a family friend who stopped by the ER in the eppy where they discovered Carter's background. However, the family friend called it an Icelandic pony, which the horse in the picture is not. And, yes, I know entirely too many stupid details about this show.

[WendyCR72]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

So now they're trying to get it annulled, but still hooking up (which makes me want to puke just thinking about it), and I can't remember if they get it annulled or stay married.

They stayed married for a while. Chuck ended up in some helicopter (I know!) mishap, and Susan realized she did have genuine feelings for him. They had their kid. (And there was a creepy - probably supposed to be charming? - scene where Chuck was in the lounge wearing some contraption, "breast feeding" the baby. Why I recall THAT, I don't know. And sorry, but I can't believe Susan named her kid Cosmo.)

But they did end up splitting as the S15 visitors were all in that bar, catching up, and Susan mentioned being divorced.