Justified Quotes

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Dewey: My lawyer told me you come within a thousand feet of me, that's harassment.

Raylan: You best back up.

 

Raylan: [Aguilar]'s description fits you to a tee - Nazi tattoo, funny hair, stupid looking.

Dewey: That could be ten thousand people!

 

Raylan: You're a card in fate's right hand. Don't you see how that's going to play out?

Dewey: What the hell does that mean?
Raylan: It means you need to be smart.

Dewey: What I need is a six dollar blow job. A smarter move I cannot imagine.

 

Boyd: I'm so hungry I could eat the ass of a low flying duck.

 

Abigail: You want something, Dewey? On me.

Dewey: Ooh, hey. What you got in mind?

Abigail: How about the twofer plus two? It's two pancakes and two eggs with either two slices of bacon or two links.

Dewey: Any chance I could jam one last bone in you?

 

Dewey: I know I didn't leave you on good terms.
Boyd: That is correct. Robbing me at gunpoint was not on good terms.

 

Raylan: Forgive me if I ain't the run of the mill tater tot whose eyes go all pinwheels at a stack of stolen money.

 

[Cyrus runs into Raylan's shovel]

Raylan: Halt. U.S. Marshalls.

 

Raylan: Good things happen to those who wait for stupid.
Tim: I believe that was in the sermon on the mount.

 

Raylan: You know he once told me he worked at Disney World dressed as Goofy in a waterskiing show?
Tim: Well, some guys just peak too early.

 

KSP: Mind stepping out of your vehicle?

Dewey: I do.

KSP: We need to search your vehicle.

Dewey: This vehicle?

KSP: License and registration, please.

Dewey: Not today, friend.

KSP: What?

Dewey: Oh, they didn't tell you who I am? I am Dewey goddamn Crowe. And I'm gonna keep on driving so I can save the state of Kentucky and the government of the United States of America another $300,000 for harassment, nelgigence, and general malfee-escence so have a nice day and kiss my ass!

 

Tim: 1000 feet?
Raylan: I'm pretty sure that's just a figure of speech.

 

Dewey: You can't touch me! I'm teflon!

 

Raylan: Dewey, do you think Boyd gives a shit about you?
Dewey: He gives a big shit about me.

 

Art: I don't suppose that [bourbon]'s doctor recommended?
Raylan: Civil War doctor maybe. You want to abstain, I will drink in your honor.

Art: Just waft the fumes in my direction.

Edited January 22, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Inquisitionist]

Raylan: [Aguilar]'s description fits you to a tee - Nazi tattoo, funny hair, stupid looking.

Dewey: That could be ten thousand people!

 

As you have shown, ElectricBoogaloo, Dewey rode out on a stream of memorable quotations, but I think this one slayed me the most.  Not disputing the description, just matter-of-factly saying there are many others who fit it.  Oh, DeweyCrowe, I miss your earnestly simpleton soul already.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Inquisitionist

[ElectricBoogaloo]

ITA - I loved that Dewey didn't even try to deny that he has funny hair or looks stupid to be offended by being described that way. His only defense is that there are OTHER people with funny hair and Nazi tattoos who look stupid.

Edited January 22, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Princess Sparkle]

There are many, many Boyd quotes that I love, but I still think my all-time favorite is when he's talking to Nicky Augustine:

 

Nicky: Man, I love the way you talk; using 40 words where 4 will do. I'm curious. What would you say if I was about to put 40 bullets through that beautiful vest of yours?
Boyd: 'What're you waiting for?'
Nicky: Oh, you're cool, huh?

Boyd: I tried to keep it to four words. You'll allow the contraction as one.

 

And I've always loved Tim's:

"I can't carry a tune. I don't know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is, uh, barely legible. But I don't miss."

Edited January 22, 2015 by Princess Sparkle

[Inquisitionist]

I also love Boyd telling Daryl Crowe:  “I’ve been accused of being a lot of things; inarticulate ain’t one of them.”

[Princess Sparkle]

I should also add the quote that convinced me to watch the show.  I was pretty much already on board when I watched the pilot, but as soon as I heard:

 

"Goddamn, woman, you only shoot people when they're eatin' supper?"

 

I knew I would be watching the first season in under 2 days.

[Febgirl]

4 simple words-- We Dug Coal Together.

 Great line from the Premiere:  Raylan: " Forgive me if I ain’t the run-of-the-mill tater tot w/ eyes going all pinwheels"

Edited January 22, 2015 by Febgirl

[cassandle]

From 'Decoy':

 

Art: What’re you thinking?  IEDs?

Tim: I’m not thinking confetti cannons.

Art: You sure about this?

Tim: For all I know I’m just having a full-blown PTSD episode.

Art: You get those a lot?

Tim: Only when I’m handling firearms in public.

[Bcharmer]

Raylan: I disarmed him.

 

Raylan: That's a 10-gallon hat on a 20-gallon head.

 

Boyd: Whole world's a tree Raylan. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

 

 

 

How this show has never received a writing nomination is beyond me.  

Edited January 24, 2015 by Bcharmer

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tim: I don't know, man. She doesn't look like a Nazi.

Raylan: I'm not saying she's a Nazi. I'm just saying she grew up near Sookie Ridge. Boyd's skinheads used to train up there. What he called his Christian aggression church.

Tim: If she is a Nazi, would you still sleep with her?

 

Raylan: Should [Willa] be walking by now?

Tim: Oh, good, so that is your kid. I was worried that was some random internet baby.

Raylan: Yeah, I got tired of the cat videos.

 

Boyd: You gonna get me that cup of coffee or should I get it myself?

Katherine: You can get it yourself.

Boyd: So much for southern hospitality.

 

Tim: As big a boner as all this real estate talk is giving me-

 

Calhoun: I also didn't know that marshals handled bank robberies.

Tim: Oh, sure, we're interested in all sorts of fun crime stuff.

 

Ty: Any notion of a suspect?

Tim: You have any notion of how an investigation works?

Ty: Only what I've done seen on the tv.

Tim: Well, would it rock your world if I told you we don't discuss open cases with every Joe Dipshit we meet on the street?

Ty: You're kind of a dick, huh?

 

Tim: You referring to the guy following us? What do you want to do? You want to flapjack him? You want to short bus him? You want to special attention him?

Raylan: Any of those even things?

Tim: I'm mostly just making things up.

 

Choo Choo: Get out of the road, cock holster!

Raylan: Well, that ain't polite. You just about hit me and now you're gonna sling foul utterances in my direction?

Choo Choo: You're in the middle of the road. I'm driving.

Raylan: I can see that. Where to?

Choo Choo: None of your business, officer.

Raylan: U.S. Marshal.

Choo Choo: It's still none of your business.

Raylan: Let me get this straight, son. Where you're following me to is none of my business. That's how you see it?

Choo Choo: ...I'm not following you.

Raylan: Step out of the car. Stretch your legs a little bit.

[Choo Choo unfolds himself from the tiny car]

Raylan: God damn. Are you comfortable in this car? A man of your size?

Choo Choo: It's a little tight. So where's your buddy?

Raylan: Who's that?

Choo Choo: You know, the guy you were with.

Raylan: How do you know I was with a guy if you ain't been following me?

Choo Choo: I'm not following you.

Raylan: Are you saying you ain't following me like you don't know what I'm saying or are you just repeating this bull shit about you ain't been following me?

Choo Choo: I'm not following you.

Raylan: Son, are you real smart or real stupid?

 

Tim: You like the hills, Seabass?

Seabass: No, not really, kind of just pussy versions of mountains.

 

Raylan: Oh, I don't believe I've met Mrs. Schrier.

Caprice: Ewww. Gross. Sorry.

 

Raylan: This blackmailer, he got a longwinded peculiar way of speaking?

 

Raylan: Fancy seeing you here.

Boyd: You know, I've never been entirely certain what that phrase is supposed to denote. Does it mean this gathering must be fancy because you're present? Or is it simply an expression of surprise at such a random meeting between two friends or acquaintances?

Raylan: Jesus, Boyd, I was just saying hello.

Boyd: Is that why you're here, Raylan? To say hello to me?

Raylan: Actually I'm here to see Calhoun.

Boyd: You're finally selling Arlo's place?

Raylan: On account I've been transferred. I'm off to Florida.

Boyd: Raylan Givens, a father. What is the world coming to? Try and raise that baby girl of yours up right?

Raylan: Better than we were anyway.

Boyd: Well what say I make you an offer on Arlo's place right this minute help get you on your way?

Raylan: You got that kind of cash, Boyd?

Boyd: Oh, I'm fixing to soon.

Raylan: How's that? You gonna rob a bank too?

 

Ty: See what happens when you call me peacock?

 

Choo Choo: What makes you think [Ty] ain't the HNIC?

Raylan: Well, Choo Choo, the way it works whether you're in military, law enforcement, or you sell vacuum cleaners, the boss man don't go door to door.

Edited January 28, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[hope4all]

Raylan telling Arlo:  "Use your words, Arlo".  Probably from first season.

 

From Decoy episode:  "They've circled the wagons"

 

 

[Princess Sparkle]

 

Ty: Any notion of a suspect?

Tim: You have any notion of how an investigation works?

Ty: Only what I've done seen on the tv.

Tim: Well, would it rock your world if I told you we don't discuss open cases with every Joe Dipshit we meet on the street?

Ty: You're kind of a dick, huh?

 

What made that exchange funnier to me was the look Tim gave him after Ty called him a dick - it was a mix of "Ok, now I've got my eye on you" and "did you really just call me a dick?"

[tv-talk]

I dont know where you guys are finding quotes or I guess you just have them by memory but any quotes of folks describing Boyd would be appreciated! My wife and I are laughing about but cant quite remember him being referred to as having big teeth, or a smile that will sunburn you, weird hair, etc. Also something about Wynn and his eyebrows was another. Whenever one character is describing another to a 3rd party it's generally hilarious. 

[cassandle]

Here’s the one that popped into my head—the second-half of which Princess Sparkle quoted up top:

 

Nicky Augustine:  “Look at you, Mr. Crowder.  You’re a well-dressed man; you got a sense of style.  You got your shirt buttoned all the way up to the top….  I gotta ask, where’d you get all those teeth?”

Boyd:  “Courtesy of the American tax payers while serving our great nation in Desert Storm.”

 

 

And because I love all things Tim:

 

Tim:  How’s your leg?
Tim’s war buddy, Mark: Well, doc says I need one more surgery.  Pins pinch like hell.  Tramadol helps some but I gotta tell you, much as oxy screwed up my life, it sure knocked out the pain.
Tim:  You try acupuncture?
Mark:  That needle bullshit?
Tim:  You remember Chewy, that CSAR Helo pilot—pulled us out of Sangin—karaoke badass?
Mark:  Yeah.
Tim: Said it helped him with his back.
Mark:  Maybe it’d help you with your menstrual cramps then.
Tim:  Naw, those went away when I got on birth control.

 

 

[Princess Sparkle]

I dont know where you guys are finding quotes or I guess you just have them by memory but any quotes of folks describing Boyd would be appreciated! My wife and I are laughing about but cant quite remember him being referred to as having big teeth, or a smile that will sunburn you, weird hair, etc. Also something about Wynn and his eyebrows was another. Whenever one character is describing another to a 3rd party it's generally hilarious. 

Are you thinking of the Sheriff Mooney quote about Boyd?  I like that one too:

 

"Skinny guy, about medium height?  Dark hair that he wears up all crazy; smile that nearly blinds you?"

 

And then the follow up later of "Who else fits the description of skinny, medium height, crazy hair and smile that nearly blinds you?"

[tv-talk]

Haha yeah that's the one, thanks

[Princess Sparkle]

And because I love all things Tim:

 

Tim:  How’s your leg?

Tim’s war buddy, Mark: Well, doc says I need one more surgery.  Pins pinch like hell.  Tramadol helps some but I gotta tell you, much as oxy screwed up my life, it sure knocked out the pain.

Tim:  You try acupuncture?

Mark:  That needle bullshit?

Tim:  You remember Chewy, that CSAR Helo pilot—pulled us out of Sangin—karaoke badass?

Mark:  Yeah.

Tim: Said it helped him with his back.

Mark:  Maybe it’d help you with your menstrual cramps then.

Tim:  Naw, those went away when I got on birth control.

I rewatched Veterans last night, and must add one of my favorite Tim exchanges:

 

Raylan: Hope we didn't interrupt anything.

Tim: Well, I've been off the clock since 5, so...

Art: Are you drunk?

Tim: I was headed in that direction.  No admission, huh? Did you try flirting?

Raylan: He was immune to my charms.

Art: Said 'heroes only'.

Tim: Oh, ok. You show them your ass wound?

Art: Well, I didn't think it was that kind of evening.

Tim: Evening soldier. Uh, I didn't bring my cape. I'm guessing this will suffice.

[mledawn]

^^ That's one of my favourites as well. I try to ignore the drunk driving...

[cassandle]

I like to tell myself that if he was only "headed in that direction" he was still sober enough to drive and only seemed drunk because he was annoyed and tired. 

[Princess Sparkle]

Cassandle, I was just about to post the same thing!  Great minds think alike : )

[Bcharmer]

Earl: "Five men, three beds. You think we're dealing with somethin'... untoward?"

[spaceytraci1208]

Boyd to Wynn Duffy: "What precipitated the change in your weathervane?" I love listening to Boyd talk...

[justmehere]

Katherine to Ava (about Avery): "Yeah I doubt that his money is gonna feel as good as he does, but I sure cannot wait to get my hands on it."

[Princess Sparkle]

Most of it was in the delivery, but I was laughing my ass off at:

"Murphy's Law; the simplest explanation is usually correct"
Tim: *eyeroll* "You mean Occam's razor"
"Occam's razor, Thor's hammer, who gives a shit?"

Edited February 18, 2015 by Princess Sparkle

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Wynn: Aplex?

Mikey: Yeah, 28 points. BOOM!

Wynn: I'm pretty sure "aplex" isn't a word, Mikey.

Mikey: Of course it is. "I don't like that guy. He aplexes me."

Wynn: ...

 

Constable Bob: Raylan! What's going on, amigo? It's been a while since you blew up my phone.

Raylan: Listen, I got a situation maybe brewing here. Need a hand, but it requires zipped lips. Only comes back to me, got it?

Constable Bob: Hey, hey, my shit is zipped. alright? What's the gig?

Raylan: Ava Crowder's gone missing. Need you to help me find her.

Constable Bob: Ava Randolph? From high school?

Raylan: Yeah, she used to be Ava Randolph.

Constable Bob: Damn, Raylan, that girl could make a dog break its chain.

Raylan: Yeah, she is pretty. I need you to listen.

 

Choo Choo: How about skim milk? You got any skim milk?

 

Rachel: Albert, you alright?

Albert: No, I'm not alright! You told me you would stop them if they started hurting me.

Rachel: Well, we thought you could tough it out.

Albert: Goddamn cattle prod! Gosh, that hurt.

Tim: Maybe you should of that before you stabbed yourself and blamed it on Ava.

 

Tim: Bump it. Took that shit like a man. Uncle Sam thanks you for your cooperation.

 

Constable Bob: What do you want me to do?

Raylan: I want you to go in, take him out.

Constable Bob: Take - take him out out?

Raylan: Outside. I want you take him outside so I can go around through the back door, get Ava.

Constable Bob: Okay, well, Raylan, Errol's a big guy. What if he don't listen to me?

Raylan: Well, you got a badge and a set of balls, don't you? There you go. Use those.

Constable Bob: Hell yeah, I got a badge. And I got balls like death stars.

[Inquisitionist]

"Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in the garden of assholes."
- Raylan Givens -

 

(Apparently, he was quoting a character named Vincent from Elmore Leonard's book, Glitz.  How cool is that?)

Edited February 25, 2015 by Inquisitionist

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ava: Anyone but me just plain tired of the bullshit burdens of southern hospitality?

 

Raylan: As I recall, the last time we all gathered for Ava's chicken, things ended unpleasantly.

Boyd: Well, we could promise to keep 'em holstered.

Raylan: Where's the fun in that?

 

Ty: They're the night shift. It's the night.

 

Ty: How many men you think we've killed?

Sea Bass: You serious?

Ty: Between the three of us, you figure we've got a hundred?

Choo Choo: That sniper guy said he got 255 all by his lonesome, but you know, take that with a grain of salt since he was a SEAL.

 

Detective 1: Real estate brokers don't tend to get themselves murdered. Now we're thinking maybe this Schreier fellow got caught up in something on the federal radar. You know, maybe that's what got him beat to death.

Detective 2: I guess what we're really asking is how come he had your card on him?

Raylan: He's my realtor.

 

Avery: I hope you're here to say you've reconsidered my offer and advised Miss McCreedy to do the same.

Raylan: 'Fraid not.

Avery: Just a social call then. People will say we're in love.

Tim: Actually we're here to talk to you about a murder.

Avery: And who am I supposed to have killed?

Tim: Well we've heard that would be quite a list. If you don't mind, we'll just focus on the last 24 hours.

 

Raylan: Turns out they know killing but they don't know crime.

 

Tim: Silver lining - you keep that card on you, cops ever find you buried in a shallow grave, they know to give us a call.

 

Choo Choo: Good thing about people thinking you're dumb is they tend to give you the benefit of the doubt.

 

Art: Is Ava doing something that makes you not trust her?

Rachel: I think she tried to run yesterday. That or she and Raylan are back sleeping together or both.

Art: How sure are you of that?

Rachel: Movement on their phones indicates she ran and he brought her back.

Art: What a dumbass.

 

Raylan: Wonderful things can happen when you sow seeds of distrust in a garden of assholes.

Tim: You just come up with that?

Raylan: I read it somewhere.

Tim: Well do me a favor and say it again slow so I can write it down.

 

Wynn: Did you know size is only one of the four Cs of diamond quality? You've also got color, clarity... I can't think of the fourth.

Mikey: Size doesn't start with a C.

 

Choo Choo: She shouldn't have to die for my mistake.

Ty: Chooch, all the places we've been, all the things we've seen, shit, all the things we've done - you still think "should" really matters?

 

Raylan: "Kill her like you're ordered to"? Taken out of context, that's the kinda statement might suggest criminal intent.

 

Tim: You really gonna die for a guy who's trying to kill you?

Raylan: You can't still be taking his orders.

Choo Choo: It's all I got.

Edited February 25, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[hope4all]

The past is a statement, the future is a question.

Don't eulogize the past Before the future gets a turn

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Tim: What happened to your lawn? Did I miss a goat sacrifice?

Tim: Why isn't anyone local ever named Steve or Justin?

Katherine: Where's Wynn?

Mikey: Getting dressed. He spilled guacamole on his shirt.

Katherine: At 9:30 in the morning?

Mikey: Wynn loves his guacamole.

Walker: This is bullshit. You shot me in the back.

Raylan: If you wanted to get shot in the front, you should have run towards me.

Raylan: You're a good lawyer. All the good ones have ponytails.

Edited March 11, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[cassandle]

Oh, Tim, I think I'll miss your sarcastic drawl most of all.

[dbro]

Raylan throws the bullet at Wynn Duffy: "Next one's comin' faster."

 

Later at HQ Art asks Raylan what throwing the bullet was all about: (paraphrasing here) "Oh I dunno, saw it in a movie once, it looked cool."

[dbro]

Raylan: You run into an asshole one day - he's an asshole. You run into assholes all day long - you're the asshole.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Art: You do realize that you accomplished something that I was never able to do all these years?

Rachel: Let an untrustworthy CI get away with ten million dollars?

 

Doctor: You're not the one that shot him, are you?

Raylan: No, I'm the one who got him here.

Boyd: That ain't exactly true, is it? What you told him about bringing me here.

Raylan: I called it in, made sure they knew.

Boyd: You handcuffed me to a bumper. You left me there without so much as a fare thee well.

Raylan: You could hear the sirens on their way. Must have given you some solace.

 

Raylan: You ever been down the mine?

Tim: I've been to Mordor but not through the mines.

Raylan: Is that a yes or a no?

Tim: No.

 

Vazquez: Where is he?

Rachel: Where's who?

 

Vazquez: What, did [Raylan] promise you a cut?

Art: I'm going to do you the goddamn common courtesy of pretending I didn't hear that shit come out of your mouth.

 

Tim: The word I got is you're supposed to be heading back to Lexington to face Vazquez.

Raylan: Yeah, I was headed back to Lexington and then I got word that Crowder escaped marshal's custody and I reframed my priorities somewhat.

Tim: It's creepy how excited you seem right now. Not that I am questioning your priorities.

 

Raylan: See? There it is. You know, it don't bother me much, running into a cop in this town that's bent to shit. I grew up around here. I kind of expect it now and then. What really irritates me is when you call them on it and they give you this look like "How dare you insinuate I'm a piece of shit tarnishing my badge?"

 

Operator: 911, what is your emergency?

Wynn: I'm not sure where to start.

 

Raylan: Whatcha doing back there? You fall asleep?

Earl: You trying to get me shot?

Raylan: You think they're going to shoot you? Shit, maybe I should stand away.

 

Earl: Then I gotta testify against him?

Raylan: That is how the justice system works, yes.

 

Raylan: Who you got coming after me? Everybody?

Art: You got too high an opinion of yourself. Of course you always have. Everybody's out looking for Boyd. I'll be the one coming after you.

[dargosmydaddy]

Boyd: Why are you pointing a gun at me? I'm infirm.

[cassandle]

I laughed so hard at "infirm".  I'm going to miss this sort of dialogue so very much.

[dargosmydaddy]

The entire Vasquez/ Tim scene, but in particular...

 

"That attitude is not helpful... So negative."

 

and

 

"I think he trashed Nelson's desk, too."

 

And Tim repeating his greeting to Art on the phone. Oh Tim, don't ever change.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Art: Is this the shitbag?

Tim: It is.

Art. Hello, shitbag.

 

Wynn: It's prescription. I have sensitive gums.

 

Wynn: Raylan Givens, Boyd Crowder, and Avery Markham are soon to converge, Mr. Vazquez, like the aligning of the planets if those planets carried guns and hated my guts.

 

Boyd: You know my name. You know what I done.

Kidnapped guy: Goddamn right I know your name. And which time you talking about?

Boyd: Well I do have a rather long resume.

Kidnapped guy: Yes, sir. They put out your greatest hits, it'd be a double album.

Boyd: Shit, double live, man, from Japan.

Kidnapped guy: Hell, yeah. All killer, no filler. Konichiwa, bitches! Shit, you the nearest thing we got to Billy the Kid around here.

Boyd: Well I don't know about all that.

Kidnapped guy: Shit, son, you smart, articulate, strong. The way you look, the way you talk, ain't nobody expect nothing from you. Then you unleash and they cannot deny. Ain't too much to call you a hero.

Boyd: Well, if you insist.

 

Vazquez: You and everybody in this office is gonna be writing thank you notes to Art Mullen from the federal penitentiary.

Tim: Your attitude is not helpful.

Vazquez: OPEN YOUR EARS!

Tim: So negative.

 

Art: Mullen.

Tim: Oh, hey, Art. What's up?

Art: Hold on. You're breaking up. Let me see if I can get a signal. Say that again.

Tim: Oh, hey, Art. What's up?

Art: Oh, you know. Scouring the countryside for a dumbass. You?
Tim: Well, I just had Vazquez piss into my ear about the bulletin so it looks like we can't keep the whole Raylan Givens gone rogue thing in house.

Art: Well, he sniffed that out sooner than I thought.

Tim: I think he just trashed Nelson's desk too.

Art: Well how'd you leave it?

Tim: Well, he's on the phone now.

Vazquez: Yeah, I'm gonna need a BOLO issued for Raylan Givens.

Tim: In fact I just heard him tell the FBI ballsack to issue a BOLO.

Art: Well, shit.

Tim: Wait one.

Vazquez: As soon as I get him, I'm going to indict him.

Tim: I just heard him say he wants Raylan indicted.

Art: Double shit.

 

Constable Bob: Raylan, did you steal my Crown Vic? Shit.

 

Raylan: You ain't Boyd.

Zachariah: Neither are you. Appreciate you not shooting me.

Raylan: Likewise.

 

Wynn: You know what would be great? One of those dog grooming vans. Dog groomers use them.

 

Boyd: Goddamn, Raylan! How you know I wasn't some boy scout looking for his tent?

Raylan: Your teeth glow in the dark.

Boyd: You shot unprovoked. How am I supposed to take that?

Raylan: As me aiming to kill you.

 

Boyd: Are you sure you don't want me to kill you Raylan? Keep you a hero?

 

Police officer: Raylan Givens?

Raylan: I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said no.

Edited April 8, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Avery: Ava, you remember the first day I laid eyes on you? Told you that for a woman to survive in this line, she had to be tougher than the men. Hell, any woman who killed her husband and puts a bullet in her new fiance - my compliments on your grit.

 

Art: You can either change your attitude right quick or I'll tear you a new asshole that you can carry a watermelon in.

 

[Art hands Raylan his badge and gun]

Art: There, you dumb son of a bitch.

 

Bartender: Sorry, fellas. You want a drink in here, you need a badge or a pair of tits.

Raylan: Art, show him your tits.

 

Raylan: You got a bunch of eastern Kentucky lawmen to give up their guns?

Bartender: Nice thing about running a bar in a mostly dry county - long as you don't water down the booze too much, your customers will put up with anything.

 

[bartender pulls out a bat]

Raylan: Is that a Henry Aaron?

Bartender: I wouldn't know. Never cared much for baseball.

Art: Me neither. You know, the only sport I ever cared about was target shooting. I know there's not that much benefit exercise wise, but it will keep you from getting concussed.

 

Boyd: Goddamn, Raylan, your timing SUCKS.

Raylan: So I've been told.

 

Boyd: I'd ask you for the number for a couples therapist, Raylan, but I don't think you're any better at this than I am.

 

Boyd: Why? We had the money. We were home free.

Ava: Honestly, Boyd, I put myself in your shoes and did what I thought you would do.

 

Boyd: I ain't gonna pull on you, Raylan, so you go and do whatever it is you're meant to do.

 

Rachel: Someone's going to have to drive [boyd].

Raylan: Probably shouldn't be me.

Tim: You want to rock, paper, scissor?

 

Art: When's your flight?

Raylan: Couple hours.

Art: Well, I wish I could drive you.

[unspoken: Too bad you let Ava steal my car]

 

Art: You tell Winona I said hey. I still don't know what she sees in you.

Raylan: It'd be weird if you did.

 

Nelson: Gonna miss you, Raylan.

Raylan: No you won't.

 

Raylan: Well, I hope you get someone at this desk that's less of a pain in the ass.

Tim: Not likely there's someone who's more of a pain in the ass.

 

Rachel: Nice hat.

Raylan: I tried it on and it fit.

 

Nelson: You gonna read that book, Tim?

Tim: No, Nelson, I'm gonna eat it.

Nelson: I read fast. I could have it back to you by tomorrow.

Tim: If you keep talking, I'm going to throw this stapler at you.

 

[not a quote but the sign on the side of Wynn Duffy's dog grooming van was awesome]

Down on All Fours mobile grooming

The experts of doggy style

 

Raylan: [Wynn Duffy]'s vanished from the face of the earth. Rumors of him surfing in Fiji, that's it.

 

Boyd: There I was in the middle of the Mexican desert driving a truck filled with the bodies of murdered men, followed by car with a trunkload of heroin.

 

Boyd: Any man can walk toward temptation but it takes a real man to walk away from it.

 

Boyd: Raylan Givens, I know you have never believed a word that has come out of my mouth.

Raylan: Of all the nonsense I've heard you spin, such as the blacks are the problem, the Jews are the mud people, I will grant you one thing. I do believe you loved Ava.

 

Boyd: Sometimes I think the only way to get out of our town alive is to have never been born there. But then, of course, there's you. How's life in Florida?

Raylan: Pretty much as advertised. You wouldn't like it though. A lot of Jews.

Boyd: Raylan Givens, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to provoke me. You know Jesus Christ was a Jew.

Raylan: I've heard.

 

Boyd: Can I ask you one question before you go?

Raylan: As long as you understand if it annoys me, I'm just going to hang up.

 

Raylan: You asking why I came?

[boyd nods]

Raylan: I thought it was news that should be delivered in person.

Boyd: That the only reason? After all these long years, Raylan Givens, that's the only reason?

Raylan: Well, I suppose if I allow myself to be sentimental, despite all that has occurred, there is one thing I wander back to.

Boyd: We dug coal together.

Raylan: That's right.

Edited April 15, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo

[lulee]

Thank you, thank you for catching the dog grooming van slogan! So very Wynn!

[soapfaninnc]

Art: Crowder's started throwing dynamite...

 

Raylan: Jesus Christ...

 

Art: Talks about pulling back, perimeters, nobody having eyes on Boyd '...I'm gonna need to get up there before it turns into Ruby Ridge.'

 

Markham: 'I suppose this means Uncle is dead and you don't have my cash'

 

Boyd: 'For a bonafide stoner you awful quick.... Ava...'

Edited April 15, 2015 by soapfaninnc

[dargosmydaddy]

 

 

Nelson: You gonna read that book, Tim?

Tim: No, Nelson, I'm gonna eat it.

Nelson: I read fast. I could have it back to you by tomorrow.

Tim: If you keep talking, I'm going to throw this stapler at you.

Um, why don't I remember this????

 

And I don't know the exact quote, but I love the comment Raylan made to Ava about Little Zachariah, something like, "Clearly you've been feeding him well."

[basil]

Nelson: You gonna read that book, Tim?

Tim: No, Nelson, I'm gonna eat it.

Nelson: I read fast. I could have it back to you by tomorrow.

Tim: If you keep talking, I'm going to throw this stapler at you.

 

Um, why don't I remember this????

 

 

They were off camera, right after Raylan gave Tim the book, as he was at or in the elevator. You have to listen closely to hear it.

[Inquisitionist]

They were off camera, right after Raylan gave Tim the book, as he was at or in the elevator. You have to listen closely to hear it.

 

Yeah, I didn't pick up on this exchange until it was pointed out here.  Thanks, Harlan peeps!

[Gudzilla]

My favorite Wynn Duffy quote from season 3.

 

Boyd explains to Wynn that he plans to explode a car in front of the bank as a diversion. 

Boyd: "And what if the man in that car had brilliant blue eyes?"

Wynn: "And a big stupid baby head?"

[soapfaninnc]

Raylan telling Arlo:  "Use your words, Arlo".  Probably from first season.

 

From Decoy episode:  "They've circled the wagons"

 

Yep. They were in the veteran's bar - Tim got them in. They wanted Arlo to wear a wire to get Boyd's father - Bo. Arlo slapped Raylan and Tim nearly went after Arlo. 

 

My all time favorite is Art - in ref to Drew 'goddamn' Thompson: (who apparently was Season 4's version of the 'goddamn' money every body chased in Season 6)

Art-First thing we're going to do is we're gonna acknowledge that this guy's awesome.

 Rachel - What?

Art - I mean, he shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he's flying it, parachutes into Harlan County with enough coke and cash to jump-start the economy of a small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once but two times! He spends a couple of days riding around with you - (Raylan) while you're looking for him, and now he's run off with a hooker half his age. That's some badass shit.

Raylan - It's pretty bad-ass.

 

[lulee]

Heh. I'd forgotten about that "Drew Thompson" soliloquy. That was fantastic. 

Edited April 17, 2015 by lulee

[soapfaninnc]

Dewey: The anus is on you.... ( talking about his necklace that the girls gave to another customer)

 

Dewey: The third person? You mean the guy in this car? I don't understand you, Raylan.

[MzLiz]

Just started watching justified, but my favorite so far:

Raylan to Boyd - "if you make me pull, I'll put you down"

After Art has chastised Raylan for sleeping with Ava.....

Raylan (to someone in the back seat about something else) - "I'd rather put my dick in a blender"

Art - "Well that would solve a few problems"

Art to Raylan - "you know those little cell phone things we hand out to marshals...maybe you ought to turn it on every once in a while"

As others have said, I love the "Goddam woman, you only shoot people when they are eating supper" that Boyd said to Ava.