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Big Women: Big Love

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I ended up watching this last week... I didn't expect myself to enjoy it, but I found the women on the show rather interesting. The one who went on the bowling date... she ended up with a guy who had recently dieted and lost a bunch of weight... but then appeared to be greatly enjoying shooting video of her bowling (from behind) and commenting on her fat rolls. I was happy that as this date progressed, the girl realized that this guy was being a complete jerk. She has a really high voice too which I find interesting for some reason.

 

The girl from Texas is who really grabbed my attention. I felt really bad for her when she was out with her hot blonde sister-in-law. She was telling the guys that she liked them but she knew she could never compare to her SIL, and then was making fun of herself. I found that very sad.... first that she feels that way, but even moreso because she was actually saying those things outloud to those guys.

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The scene in the bar seemed really fake to me. 

 

Richie and his skateboard. Hahahaha, Loser.

Edited by Taylorh2
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Was the SIL the type that enjoyed the comparison or did it bother her too?

 

It didn't appear that way to me...

The scene in the bar seemed really fake to me. 

 

It had the look of many scenes on these "reality" shows - meaning, its completely set up by the producers.

 

I still found myself feeling very uncomfortable watching the overweight woman putting herself down when talking to the guys.

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I am so glad there is a thread for this!!

 

Slap my hand for being mean right out the gate, but the lady from Texas seems like she is straight up desperate. From the way she approached the guys at the bar, made out with the online dude in front of everyone, and then the whole "I met a guy, got pregnant three months later, and now pawn my daughter off on my mom to go out" screams that her judgment is a little off. I'm not a single mother and don't know the struggle, so I'm probably way off base.

 

Even though she was uber-dramatic by getting the vapors from the Ethiopian food, I agreed with the girl from NYC that going to an "adventurous" spot for a first dinner date isn't a good idea. Coffee, tea, or ice cream is pretty universal and keeps the timing short if you need to bounce quickly.

 

Oh goodness, the lady from CA who lost her virginity recently and went on a penis bender....did anyone else think she sounded like a cartoon character? Plus, the directors are not right for the multiple shots of her fat rolls peeking from under her shirt at the bowling alley. Y'all are wrong for that!!

 

Anyone else realize there seems to be a gang of shows premiering this month about the lives of the obese (this show, 600-lb life, the show about the girl that danced on youtube and has pcos)? Refreshing to see!

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The girl from Texas, I thought was really pretty and dressed cute.  She probably would do okay at a bar if she would just stop broadcasting to every guy there that she can't hold a candle to her skinny SIL.  Because she's fat.  Can't you see?  Fat!  In case you didn't notice, she will point it out!  Really, I was yelling at the screen for her to shut it.  It's that kind of defeatist attitude that will turn men off really fast.  I really didn't like most of the girls' attitudes.

 

The girl who went bowling had made such an issue of choosing her date clothes carefully so that if she bent over, that her clothing wouldn't ride - then when she bowled, I saw her shirt ride up and her belly come out in fairly short order.  Simple solution, wear a longer shirt.  But I know how hard it is to find cute larger clothes.

 

The girl throwing up at the Ethiopian restaurant cracked me up.

 

Overall, I thought this was a really terrible show, and I have an extremely low bar for what I will watch.  A poster at (that other forum) said once, "I will watch all manner of crap."  I may last just one more week on this one, but I'll give it a chance.

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OMG!!! Why does Jessica keep calling herself "skinny" ?

 

Talk about Delusional.  LOL

 

I'll have to watch this show with the remote in my hand so that I can hit mute everytime the chick with the cartoon voice starts talking.

Edited by Taylorh2
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So is Kristi just basing her life off all the characters Melissa McCarthy plays? Not a fan.

Sabrina is hilarious, I love her and her attitude.

Jessica needs to have a seat. Congratulations on your weight loss journey, that is fantastic and good for you. However you are not skinny. You are not all that, your Froyo date proved you need to have a little humility. Also Sabrina looked much better in her dress than you did.

Jenn's voice grates. It's horrible. I think she's made a character to help her get by. When she got upset her voice sounded much more normal. She's another hot mess.

Mar seems very sweet and aside from her horrid taste in guys she seems ok.

This show sucks, but I'll be watching.

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I was all wtf when Jessica compared herself to Tyra Banks.  Is this chick for real ?!

 

That chick in the white dress that was all loud and making a fool of herself: Why was she miked? Will she now be a part of the show ?

 

Jenn got all upset because Jessica used the 'F" word. FAT!

 

Yes Jenn, you are fat. Not using the word doesn't change anything.

Edited by Taylorh2
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I least liked Jessica. Yes, you lost 110 pounds. You're over the hump, but you still have a solid 70 and some skin removal before you become "slim thick". Both Mar and Sabrina looked better than her to me. Still, I guess its better to have positive body dysmorphia, and to see yourself as prettier than you actually are, than to have it in a negative form.

Jenn needs to embrace being fat, and also that it doesn't define her. Still, I hear what shes saying, you should love yourself at whatever size your are. Jessica really did try to poke holes in her nonexistent self esteem, and that was effed up.

Did anyone hear Mar say ex-husband? Was that on the spot embellishment or.... So far she's my favorite.

Kristi makes me sad, she acts like shes half her age and you just cant do that with a child. Of all the girls, she has the lowest self esteem by far. She treats herself as a joke, and thats sad.

I like Sabrina ok, she seems pretty level headed, kinda of side-eyed her "I only like nerdy white boys". Its one thing to have a preference, but to narrow your dating scope to only one type of guy will always screw you over in the end, regardless of your weight. I hope they touch on that during the whole seminar process.

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I like Sabrina ok, she seems pretty level headed, kinda of side-eyed her "I only like nerdy white boys". Its one thing to have a preference, but to narrow your dating scope to only one type of guy will always screw you over in the end, regardless of your weight. I hope they touch on that during the whole seminar process.

 

The line above really rings true to me. I have a small personal anecdote that relates to it:

 

My cousin has always bought a specific car, Nissan Altima. She's had 3 because she continues to wreck them. She doesn't even consider a different car. I made her drive my car, showed her the sight lines differ, the features change, and driving the car isn't the same. I asked her "Is it possible that a car with the right features for you is out there? Sure! You have to look for it and you have to accept your current car isnt enough."

 

People are the same. You may be attracted to a certain type but that doesn't mean you are compatible. It doesn't mean that sort of person will help you to live a happy life. I believe in trying new things and observing your life. When your tastes and hopes are expanding, new ideas come easily, you are closer to the values that move you. When you are miserable and pessimistic, take a look at who/how you are spending you time. Maybe you are doing the most enviable things with the most popular person, but if you hate your life, its a worthless pick.

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OMG!!! Why does Jessica keep calling herself "skinny" ?

 

Talk about Delusional.  LOL

 

I'll have to watch this show with the remote in my hand so that I can hit mute everytime the chick with the cartoon voice starts talking.

OMG! So much Word! to both of your statements!

Jessica, no just no you are not skinny, you're beautiful but your attitude is ugly.

Girl with the childish squeaky voice...maybe that's why you're not having success dating, she's very immature.

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Sabrina's dates were good entertainment, she seems good natured and nice. At the meet and greet she was dressed way better than Jessica, oh excuse me Tyra Banks...who thinks she's skinny, I'm all for high self esteem at any size or age, but come on! She was talking about the others like they were hideous, next to her.

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The loud girl from Texas is the one who is going to make me want to watch this show. I sadly feel that she has had to build up this "life of the party" persona to compensate for the pain she feels about her weight. I can't judge her for it because I feel that inside she is carrying a lot of pain.

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This show speaks to me. Omg. Trying to date while being plus size is the worst. I'm 34 and still single with no prospects. The creepy guys are the only ones I seem to find.

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I least liked Jessica. Yes, you lost 110 pounds. You're over the hump, but you still have a solid 70 and some skin removal before you become "slim thick". Both Mar and Sabrina looked better than her to me. Still, I guess its better to have positive body dysmorphia, and to see yourself as prettier than you actually are, than to have it in a negative form.

I just want to know where she bought her magic mirror. I mean, good for her on the loss, and she deserves to feel good about herself and her accomplishment...but she wasn't using "skinny" as a relative term, she seemed flat-out convinced that the rest of the world should look at her and think, "Damn, there goes one skinny bitch!" Oh honey, no. That may be some sort of coping mechanism in play, though...it was she that blurted out, "Let's face it, we're all fat!" in the middle of her heated confrontation with Jenn, right? So deep down she's not completely delusional.

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I found Sabrina absolutely adorable, in looks and personality. The way she talks reminds me of my own adorkable (do people still use that word?) 20-something daughter. :) I did find the rest of them to be unpleasant in various ways--Jenn's voice, Jess's superiority complex, Kristi's incessant self deprecation. I missed some of it and have no impressions of Mar yet. I probably won't watch again because I don't really appreciate Lifetime's featuring (along with TLC's) of programs with people who are "different" in appearance. There is a freak-show element in their perspective that makes me uncomfortable.

 

Edit: on re-reading this, I'm afraid it may have sounded like I don't want to see programs with different-looking people, which is not at all what I meant. I don't want to see programs where such people are defined solely by their differences, I guess is what I was trying to say.

Edited by bref
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Did anyone hear Mar say ex-husband? Was that on the spot embellishment or.... So far she's my favorite.

 

I didn't hear that, but did anyone else see on the chalkboard in her room, she had a to-do list? One of the items was "record 7 songs for EP" or something like that. Makes me think she is looking for exposure because she is really an entertainer (not a sad sack looking for love) and needs a come-up. Nothing wrong with that...I respect the hustle!

 

I agree with everyone who says Jessica is smelling herself a bit too much. I can't even imagine losing 110 pounds (I would be in the double digits!), so that's a wonderful accomplishment. However, she reminds me of those people that lose a bunch of weight and then are the self-appointed saviour for all fat folks. Like she's seen the light, so now her word is truth.

 

The girl from Texas is just a hot mess. It is so clear that she is desperate for attention. I mean, the public "dance-off" with someone you just met? She screams "look at me!" and I would wager that she's probably (emotionally) very high maintenance in relationships. If I were a guy, that would turn me off before her weight would.

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I hate to break this to Jessica, but she looks like she's closer to 300 than 200.   She must be way short if she really weighs 220.  Also, Tyra Banks at her fattest could fit into one of her pants legs.    She's morbidly obese, not "thin/thick". 

 

That Texan girl is embarrassing to watch, even in the privacy of my own home.   Damn, girl, you're pretty, you have nice legs, and would have a good personality if you'd quit acting like you're auditioning for "Tammy 2".   

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All of them are getting on my nerves. Phil has glamorized these girls. That opening shot of them just went over the top for me. He's supposedly trying to help them but he poses them as if they are the Real Housewives of whatever town they live in. Really getting annoyed with his exploitative platform.

Edited by ethalfrida
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That chick in the white dress that was all loud and making a fool of herself: Why was she miked? Will she now be a part of the show ?

 

 

Are you talking about Christi? Texas? She's part of the show.  The single mom who lives with her mom.

 

This show speaks to me. Omg. Trying to date while being plus size is the worst. I'm 34 and still single with no prospects. The creepy guys are the only ones I seem to find.

 

Girl, pull up a chair. Let's talk. Although I'm 41 and was already married and have 2 kids, I've never remarried (divorced 7 years ago).  I'm beginning to think my weight (about 50lbs overweight, which 20 has been the last few years) plays a big part of it.  Online dating attracts the creeps.

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I have some good news - it's probably not anyone's weight that's holding them back, you'd get the same attention from creeps at a lower number. I've learned in my decades of dating that creeps are the most aggressive daters. They are the shouty, front of the line types.

You'll have more fun with the people you approach first, promise.

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I couldn't watch the rest. I felt such second hand embarrassment for that girl when that guy split because of a "family emergency." After she walked hand in hand with him to buy baby oil for him to give her a massage. Oh my goodness.

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Thanks for that little nugget of information, wrestlesflamingos. I've taken it and filed in my brain in the following categories: good to know, try this next time, and advice that seems spot on.

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I couldn't watch the rest. I felt such second hand embarrassment for that girl when that guy split because of a "family emergency." After she walked hand in hand with him to buy baby oil for him to give her a massage. Oh my goodness.

 

And baby oil for him to massage her vag! Oh my word, I cringed.  I'm still not done with the episode, but I hope she knows why she's not meeting men if she's only looking at bars and clubs and sleeping with them within the next hour.  If that's how she is, own it. That's cool, if that's what makes you happy. But don't expect a serious relationship to come out of that.

 

I'm with Mar. One of my favorite breakfasts is a bagel and chive cream cheese with turkey bacon.  But why does Mar always look like she's reading cue cards? She keeps looking to the side while she's using that fake acting tone.

 

There's a lot of tears and meltdowns on this show.

 

Oh and Jen, you're not sexy.  And it has nothing to do with your weight.  Cute, maybe, but not sexy. No.

Edited by ShaNaeNae
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And baby oil for him to massage her vag!

Why did you remind me!?! I had blocked that out of my memory and pretended like it never happened. I'm traumatized.
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I sure wish they'd stop saying "I need to LOVE myself!" and change it to "I need to RESPECT myself."

 

I've known other lonely overweight women who repeatedly said the same thing -- "I have to love myself!" -- and then wondered why they were never happy and their lives didn't change. To them, and (IMHO) to the women on this show, "love myself" means "force myself to be happy with being exactly the way I am -- lonely/overweight/unhealthy/etc. -- even when that obviously ISN'T making me happy."

 

Maybe they could try "I need to respect myself" instead. A person who respects herself doesn't stuff her body with unhealthy food or do embarrassing things for attention or have sex with strange men.

 

P.S. Kristi ("Texas") is going to end up being a sex addict if she keeps going the way she is.

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I abhor Jessica. Her personality is making it really hard for me to even watch the show.

My favorite is Sabrina, shes the most even keel of all of them. I also like that she doesnt fulfill the hypersexual big girl trope, quick to make out and take home any random stranger that shows even a smattering of attention. Its obvious that she has the highest self esteem out of the group. If any of them have a chance of finding long term happiness its her.

Man that dating guru guy hit the nail on the head with Kristi, but she wasn't ready to hear that about herself. I dont think any of them really took what the guy had to say seriously because that same night they were all out drinking, throwing themselves at guys.

Case in point Mar and that guy lol. Cringe factor 1000

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Did Jessica get made and leave the pool  "i'm going home" because they all just got up in the middle of her talking about herself and jumped into the pool ?  LOL

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I abhor Jessica. Her personality is making it really hard for me to even watch the show.

My favorite is Sabrina, shes the most even keel of all of them. I also like that she doesnt fulfill the hypersexual big girl trope, quick to make out and take home any random stranger that shows even a smattering of attention. Its obvious that she has the highest self esteem out of the group. If any of them have a chance of finding long term happiness its her.

Man that dating guru guy hit the nail on the head with Kristi, but she wasn't ready to hear that about herself. I dont think any of them really took what the guy had to say seriously because that same night they were all out drinking, throwing themselves at guys.

Case in point Mar and that guy lol. Cringe factor 1000

I agree. Jessica is the worst. She's called herself skinny and thin but also fat and attended a conference specifically for plus size women. For someone positioning themselves as a weight loss, body-respect guru, she sure is confusing - and mean.

I didn't realize there was a stereotype of plus size women being hyper sexual.

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I agree. Jessica is the worst. She's called herself skinny and thin but also fat and attended a conference specifically for plus size women. For someone positioning themselves as a weight loss, body-respect guru, she sure is confusing - and mean.

I didn't realize there was a stereotype of plus size women being hyper sexual.

Oh yeah, big time. Ive heard men say that they will purposely go for the larger girl in the group because of this stereotype, and have seen it played out many times in real life and on TV. Feeling less than worthy of respect is a very real thing for many young women period, but being plus sized definetly adds another dimension to it. Many young women feel that theyre only worthy of sex, and not love and a relationship, because they are large.

Its also played out in Hollywood typecasting. When you have a fat woman character, she is either very maternal and warm, like Sookie St. James in Gilmore Girls, or she's out there and overtly sexual to the point of discomfort for all around her, like Lauren Zizes from Glee or every other role Melissa McCarthy has played after Sookie.

Its apparent in all of the BWBL girls but Sabrina to be honest, overtly and aggressively sexual because that little bit of attention is better than none. I actually teared up a little when Kristi said she fell in love with her daughters dad because he offered to hold her afterwards.

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Jessica is vile. It's not her weight that is holding her back from meeting and dating men. It's that shitty attitude of hers. She's not slim thick. She's thick thick. Congrats on losing the weight, but you're still overweight and really feeling yourself for no good reason. 

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Jessica is vile. It's not her weight that is holding her back from meeting and dating men. It's that shitty attitude of hers. She's not slim thick. She's thick thick. Congrats on losing the weight, but you're still overweight and really feeling yourself for no good reason. 

 

It was hysterical when, in her talking head, Jessica said the reason why she said she was attending the conference was to figure why - despite her weight loss - she still couldn't find a relationship. HA! The reason she is single has nothing to do with her weight and everything to do with her attitude and the way she treats people. 

 

Equally hysterical was during the mirror exercise when Jen said that Jessica thinks she's smaller than everyone else but she is not. The camera zoomed out to the group to show that was indeed the case. 

 

I want to feel bad for Jessica because I think she recognizes herself in all the other girls both in size and insecurities but is determined to disconnect and be "above them" for some reason. I think Jessica has always been the "fat one" in her group of friends who are probably mostly thin (legitimately thin) and she has some major serious issues from that - feeling unwanted, like an outsider. Even at the end when she was leaving she said something like "I want to go home to all my skinny friends." She admitted she hates feeling vulnerable but she's turned that into being a straight up B.

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I think Jessica realizes that she's fat, she just thinks she's in a different category of fat. Like an attractive fat. That was evident in the way she gushed over being called "slim thick" by some guy. Seems like she thinks she's better looking and therefore better than other big women. She proudly proclaimed that she doesn't even hang out with other big girls despite the fact that the woman she was filmed power walking with was her size or bigger.

And what was up with that helium voiced girl hiding under the covers on the floor of her hotel room. How old is she?

Edited by charmed1
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Jenn's voice sounds extremely fake and put-on to me, and just a ridiculous attempt to be "cute". 

 

The girl from Texas, I thought was really pretty and dressed cute.  She probably would do okay at a bar if she would just stop broadcasting to every guy there that she can't hold a candle to her skinny SIL.  Because she's fat.  Can't you see?  Fat!  In case you didn't notice, she will point it out!  Really, I was yelling at the screen for her to shut it.  It's that kind of defeatist attitude that will turn men off really fast.

Amen to this!  And may I add, she then has to also berate the men for looking at her skinny SIL and not her...because she's fat!  Her desperation was really off putting. 

 

Mar's drama was highly annoying.  She was throwing herself at her old hook up at the club.  I didn't think he was interested at all.  Then she sadlly tried to use the incident as a catalyst to make Richie go, "OMG....I can't lose you!  Stay with me and only me....I love you!"  Fail.

 

Sabrina was adorable and had some cute one liners.  She's fun. 

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I can kind of understand Jenn getting so upset with Jessica--she's young (young for her age, even) and she seems to have had it built up in her mind that it was going to be a weekend where she could have fun and meet kindred spirits and possibly get some clue into how to manage her love life. Then she gets crap from Jessica, who is telling her the same ish she's probably heard from other people her whole life. I'd be pissed too, although I wouldn't have a break down over it. I'd just leave. Then again, I'm older and wiser. Jenn has some growing up to do but Jessica managed to piss off everyone she came into contact with. What a piece of work. And yeah, its not her size but her attitude and narcissism. I can't tell if she's really like that or if she's playing her "role" but I wouldn't want to be anywhere near her. 

 

Kristi reminds me of some of those girls on that Brett Michael's show--can't remember the name of it and I only watched a couple of episodes of it. The ones that would get drunk and wasted and act so annoying and inappropriate they had to go asap. I think Kristi's confusing being the life of the party with coming off as desperate, and I think that's an issue that's separate from being a big girl looking for love. There are plenty of skinny girls who do the same thing and it will drive a guy away in a hot minute (after he gets what he wants from you, that is).  

 

I think it would help all these girls (except Mar and Sabrina, who seem to be the most even keeled of the bunch) to take a look at Sabrina's picnic date and say this weirdness is what you gals give off, only in a different way. As uncomfortable as this guy made Sabrina, these girls will make guys just as uncomfortable if they don't just relax and be themselves. Also, they need to figure out what they want in a relationship. So far (and I've only seen 2 eps so maybe they've covered this) they're looking for companionship, booty calls, and someone they can call their boyfriend, whether that boyfriend treats them well or not. Mar might be getting the picture, I think, and Sabrina seems to still be figuring out what she wants beyond nerdy white guy but she seems to not be so focused on the sex and being able to say she has a boyfriend. The other three...IDK. Jenn has some maturing to do, but I think Jessica is hopeless. Kristi might be too, unless she listens when someone points out she needs to chill. 

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How was Sabrina's salsa dancing date "a disaster"?  So she took a little digger, what of it?  She's a self-avowed klutz, and it didn't seem to faze her much.  I don't know if she'll wind up going out with the Venezuelan dude again, but overall it went much better than either of the dates Jenn went on.  Speaking of which--WHERE does she FIND these dudes??  Each one is creepier than the next.  Girlfriend needs to improve her creep detection game.  When I was online dating (and yes, I'm a rounder girl), I had plenty of dudes contacting me, but I went out with very few of them, because my creep-o-meter went off, and ain't nobody got time for that nonsense.  Good on her for cutting the date with the drunk dude short, though!  Standards, girl--have them!

 

I still find myself wondering how this show was set up [and I'm not sure it's a good thing that I'm wondering how the sausage was made, vs. just enjoying the sausage...wait.  Bad word choice?? ;)  ].  Mr. Google fails to turn up any evidence that the Supersize Your Love Life seminar was anything but a producer set up to get these 5 girls in the same place at the same time (note also the "Reserved" sign on the table when the girls are out the first night of the seminar).  I find that somewhat disingenuous, as the show seems to want us to think that these 5 just happened to meet each other at the same seminar.  There's no mention of "the process" at all, and maybe I watch too much reality teevee, but it's a little jarring.

 

Couple more observations:

--Jessica, you're not doing your new "slim thick" identity any favors by grunting and groaning as you lower yourself into that floor seat at the Japanese place.  I mean yeah, dick move on his part to book that table, but have some grace, huh?  You might want to try adding some yoga to your workout schedule.  Just sayin'.

--Call me a heffa, but all I could think when Jenn left the go-kart place was, "Did you leave that pizza behind??"  Sure, the date was a dud, but don't waste a perfectly good pizza, right?

--Kristi:  Well done, girl.  I hope that Jefferson guy calls her.

Edited by Lovecat
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All I kept noticing during the Salsa lesson was that Sabrina had lipstick on her teeth. I kept rubbing mine to let her know she did.

 

I was dying when Jessica was grunting to sit down!

 

When Jen was on the date with drunk guy and wearing those ridiculous glasses, she reminded me of Rosanne in the movie, "She Devil". Which is a classic, btw!

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