Enablers and Wardens: Family Dynamics of 600 Pound Lifers

[algebra]

If I had to guess, at least one family member (if not more) is employed as their full time care giver. I have a friend who is paid minimum wage to be her disabled brother's caregiver by Medicaid. If I had to guess, most of these folks are on disability.

[algebra]

I also knew someone who was paid by Social Security, to take care of his obese wife.

Our tax dollars at work.

It seems to me, watching Marla's story again, that the family members REALLY need to participate in counseling too. That's how it works in alcohol/drug treatment. Your family has to participate.

Another thing: in conventional psychiatric hospitals, long term care facilities, rehab and halfway houses, meals are not served in patients' rooms. Everybody is required to get up and go down the hall to eat. If you don't get out of bed, you don't eat. Why aren't Dr Now's patients required to walk to the dining room for meals?

As a surgical unit nurse, I remember having one patient who refused to get up post op. The risk with such behavior is that complications such as blood clots, pulmonary embolism, and pneumonia might develop, so it is imperative to get moving after surgery. And none of the other nurses could get her up. That's when I found out she REALLY liked narcotics. When she asked for her shot of Demerol, I walked in with the syringe in hand and said "if you want this, sit up, stand up, take a deep breath and cough." And she did.

Addicts will do ANYTHING to get a fix. So food addicts will walk a mile, uphill, in a blizzard, to get food. I don't know why nobody uses this information.

[algebra]

I have to disagree. Most of the stuff on the dollar menu is of the 4 nuggets, a taco or an ice cream cone variety. And almost no one, save for a child. is going to eat a taco or a a box of 4 nuggets and call it a meal. When Mr Poetic and I, along with our teenage son went to a fast food restaurant, the bill was over $16. For 3 people. And I had nothing to drink or any sides. With $16, I could buy a chicken, potatoes,veggies or salad fixings and have money left over. I don't see fast food as cost saver at all.

[algebra]

Just read this and did some checking: 6 McNuggets are 280 calories. Throw in a 15 calorie side salad without dressing, and that is a meal. Seriously, 295 calories is a meal, or it should be.

But that's the problem, isn't it? Nobody thinks 300 calories is a meal. But if you stick to 300 calories/ meal, you'll control your weight. So it's not the menu, it's the portions. Your ideas about what a meal should look like are the problem. We see pictures of plates piled high with food and think that's what we should be eating.

Go to a high end restaurant, though, and order a filet mignon. You will be brought a very small piece of meat on a plate which has been elegantly decorated with swirls of pretty sauce and a sprig of parsley, a radish carved up to look like a rose, or a scallion cut and curled. And that's all that goes on your plate.

So if you go to fast food restaurants you get a plate piled high with food and doesn't cost much, or you can go to a five star restaurant and spend a whole lot of money on the smallest piece of meat you've ever seen in your life.

[algebra]

Christina's mother. Good heart I think but Lord she drove me crazy. Worrying about her starving because she wouldn't eat the hospital food. Lady, there is NO WAY she's going to starve. None.

I'm finally watching Christina's episode and wondering why, when she weighed 300# in the 7th grade, CPS wasn't notified and an intervention didn't happen. The enabling in that family was disgusting. Obviously everybody is living off her disability and they will have to get real jobs if she loses weight.

[DangerousMinds]

Disability pays very little.

[HalcyonDays]

I'm finally watching Christina's episode and wondering why, when she weighed 300# in the 7th grade, CPS wasn't notified and an intervention didn't happen. The enabling in that family was disgusting. Obviously everybody is living off her disability and they will have to get real jobs if she loses weight.

 

You do realize that there are ailments or illnesses that cause people to gain weight (or lose weight), or retain weight in an otherwise unnatural way, right?

 

Like, someone with hyperthyroidism will considered "blessed" in society, because they don't gain weight and will be quite thin, but someone with HYPOthyroidism will not because that affliction basically makes their metabolism non-existant - therefore eating normally will cause them to gain weight.

 

I remember a few kids - when I was in eight grade - that were quite chunky. These were boys, for the record. They were short, quite chunky and didn't do sports. Then they hit puberty. And shot up one foot in height and turned into lean, slender bastards. A chunky kid is not necessarily an indicator for someone overweight later in life. For these lucky tall people (men in this case), it was probably their bodies way of gathering energy so when the growth spurt happened, it (the body) would be ready.

 

The flipside is that I knew a family where over-eating was clearly an issue and the mother, father and daughter were clearly obese. Clearly. So there are shades to this grey, in that sometimes a kid is simply that way because of genetics, and other times the kid is that way because of influence.

 

To assume a family is deliberately being "fat" just to collect those checks is quite disingenuous. Same as saying someone on welfare doesn't want to work because the check is easier. Bullshit. Most (note, there are abusers in the system) people don't want to live poor lives. Most want to have an opportunity to have a good life. But there are no jobs, so it makes it harder for these people to survive. With no money, they can't afford fresh fruits, veg and other healthy foods. Processed (fattening foods) are unfortunately the answer because they are cheap. And so begins the endless cycle of Poor = Fat = Poor = Fat and so on.

[algebra]

Medical issues like hypothyroidism and poly cystic ovaries and every other excuse you can think of should be addressed. There are treatments for those problems. But the issue of what causes obesity has been settled: too many calories taken in, not enough calories burned up. That's why Dr Now makes everybody go on a reduced calorie diet before he'll do the surgery, to see if they have the will to do it.

What I have seen in people I've known, and what we've all seen on the TV show, is that all these people have someone who helps them eat. When my daughter was overweight, it was her fat friends. Every sleepover, get together, after school or weekend activity involved ridiculous amounts of food. At home we didn't have that stuff, and finally, in her junior year of high school, she'd had enough of being one of the fat girls, and lost the weight. She stopped socializing with them and got a new set of friends. You have to separate yourself from the people who are making you fat, just as if you were giving up alcohol and traded the bars for AA. You cannot hang around with those people.

As for the mistaken notion that processed food is cheaper, that's just DUMB. Do the math: cost per gram of protein. Tuna is like the cheapest thing you can buy.

I practically live on cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, and tuna. They are all cheaper than meat. Frozen salmon and skinless chicken filets cost more, but have lots of protein. Just cook them in the microwave. Don't fry them, and eat some green beans and carrots on the side. Don't tell me a can of green beans is expensive!

When you calculate how much you are paying for protein, you will realize the processed crap is the most expensive food you can buy. You pay an awful lot of money for very little protein.

[HalcyonDays]

I agree and disagree with you, algebra. Certain foods affect people different ways. For example, Some cultures heavily feature rice or noodles in their diets, and yet their citizens are healthy and thin. Yet other people cannot eat a diet heavy in those starches, because their bodies will just store those starches as fat.

 

And please don't refer to a sentence as dumb. Processed food is cheaper in many cases, especially when compared to meat. Meat is incredibly expensive now, as it fish, seafood and anything like that with protein. That greek yogourt you are eating? Costs $4.99 for a four pack (individual portions) for me. Tuna, yes it's 99 cents. A box of Kraft Dinner is also 99c. One can of green beens is not fulfilling enough for a lot of people. I mentioned before that a bunch of asparagas is $3.99 on sale. That can purchase two or three cans of pasta, which is more filling. If I wanted to buy chicken breast as a lean protein, it's almost $8.00 for two individual chicken breasts.

 

Obviously choices matters, but for people living on a very limited income, what goes further? A box of KD or a can of beans? Both cost the same. Which can feed more than one person? The KD.

 

Just going through my local grocery store flyer, here is a comparison of prices (in Canadian dollars). Skinless chicken breast ($5.99/lb) one bunch of asparagas ($4.99/lb), a small flat of raspberries ($3.99), Bell Peppers ($3.99/lb), 850g tub of Greek yogourt ($6.99), cottage cheese ($3.99 tub - cheapest brand.)

 

Now, dry pasta ($1.29 one box -454 g), jar of Ragu tomato sauce ($2.99 for 26 oz), medium ground beef ($3.99/lb), Hamburger Helper (1.89 /box), frozen Michelina's dinners (one portion - $1.99), box Kraft Dinner (99c box), box Chocolate Chip cookies ($1.99 - cheapest brand)

 

The better meal is the chicken breast, asparagus, peppers, with some greek yogourt with raspberries for dessert. Yummy actually. So for four people, grand total would be $21.96. The meal would consist of 1/4 lb chicken breast, 1/4 lb of asparagus, a cup of yogourt with some berries on top. Not many calories, that's for sure.

 

Or, for $10.26, I can cook up the box of pasta and the fatty ground beef, pour on the jar of Ragu, and give people chocolate chip cookies for dessert. That will definately feed four people a fair amount of food for half the cost. Is it better for you? Of course not. But economics win here.

 

You are right though, that the people and situations around you affect how you eat. Absolutely. I wish I could buy organic free range chickens with no antibiotics, and free runs eggs and expensive veggies and fruit and all of that. But financially I can't, just like a lot of these people can't also. And I just showed you how processed foods are cheaper in some cases. Note the some. Not always, but in many cases for sure.

[Christina]

I want to preface this statement to say that I understand the above comments are discussing the costs of foods, not the type, just so no one thinks I am taking their statement out of context.

 

That said, suffering from a GI disorder that makes eating painful sometimes, I often have to make myself eat, and still go to therapy for it. When reading the suggestion of salmon or a chicken breast, microwaved as opposed to fried, my first thought was that I would rather eat nothing. That sounds so unappetizing. I find the texture of microwaved meat very off-putting, and if I am going to risk pain and vomiting, it needs to taste good going down.

 

My next thought was to wonder if that is why some of the people become anorexic after their surgeries. They have discussed on the show how people start losing weight, get positive feedback, and want to keep losing. But I wonder if they don't know how to cook differently, season differently, or haven't really learned to think about food differently. It looks like they are put on such restrictive diets at first, and we don't see the nutrition and/or addiction advice, so if all they receive is paperwork with "Eat This" and "Don't Eat This" without any info on why or how best to prepare it, they may be deciding just forget it, and then a friend or family member shows up with cookies and it becomes, "What the hell?"

 

In other news, according to my dietitian's office, it looks like the restriction on salt is going to be lifted in the next government food guide because the science surrounding the restriction has been disproved. I'm one who cannot limit salt intake to the current standard for health reasons (like many, many others), but yet find most prepared food too salty to be edible. Also, saturated fat is no longer going to be touted as the devil, because it depends on the person and other factors, and some fats that are considered "good" have shown no health benefits. Food science is still in it's infancy, and changes all the time, so I don't know how people are expected to know all of it when they are not taught. If they are left to the internet to learn, they think whole wheat bread and pasta is better than white (Chay?).

[scowl]

I agree and disagree with you, algebra. Certain foods affect people different ways. For example, Some cultures heavily feature rice or noodles in their diets, and yet their citizens are healthy and thin. 

 

How much rice or noodles are these people eating? The studies I've read have shown that these cultures eat less than Americans and exercise more than Americans. That seems to be the two key points, over and over. I haven't read any study that found some people's bodies will turn any amount of starch into fat. Our bodies aren't that stupid.

[algebra]

I agree, yes, I knew a Filipino woman who said "I can't eat without rice." She would eat rice at every meal, but I never saw her put more than a half cup on her plate, about 100 calories worth, and she didn't add anything to it. Even doing that three meals a day would only amount to 300 calories, and she didn't eat bread or potatoes. The rice was her main source of carbs. She added a small amount of meat, some vegetables, and that was it. Americans think a serving of rice is a full cup, 200 calories, with another 100 calories worth of butter on top. And they will still think they need corn, or bread or potatoes on the side.

One thing I have noticed about a 1000 calorie per day diet is how little food that is. You talk about Greek yogurt as though it should be consumed in addition to 4 ounces of meat or fish. But a cup of yogurt has over 20 gms of protein in it. You don't need to have any meat or fish if your meal includes a cup of yogurt. Three meals a day, each with 20-25 gms of protein, is all you need. So Why would you add a 4 ounce chicken breast to that? A cup of Greek yogurt, with an apple, is all the food you need. A cup of cottage cheese (24 gms of protein) and a tomato is another meal. Why would you buy asparagus and raspberries? They are expensive in any season. Green beans, carrots, apples and melons in season are very inexpensive by comparison.

While pasta and bread might fill you up, you really aren't adding anything nutritionally to the meal. If you are active and need the calories, that's an inexpensive way to get them. But the question you need to ask is,do I need the calories? Does my family need the calories?

[ethalfrida]

I see your point, Algebra, and being from Louisiana I find it hard to eat without rice. Even when I eat tacos I order rice. But... I count calories and know approximately how many calories I am consuming. I also do strength training and run.

You have a great point on buying vegetables in season but asparagus is a great source of important nutriments so splurging on them is a good idea. Yogurt is a great addition to breakfast but adding it to dinner is less than exciting. However, it is great for after training so grabbing a cup of Greek is ideal.

 

So, I say this to say it boils down to knowing what one is eating, how and when to eat it and what appeals to the individual. I would rather eat an El Pollo Loco chicken breast salad (with no dressing) that is around 386 calories than to fill up on meaningless and less appetizing fare. Actually, the salad with dressing only brings it to a little under 500 calories.

 

If one eats bread (and yuck to regular off the shelf brands) then those calories should be included in the meal.

But, one last thing ... when you change your diet to eliminate items like off the shelf bread, you also eliminate a lot of other fattening ingredients that only contribute to the shelf life and addes no health quality. 

[HalcyonDays]

Why would you buy asparagus and raspberries? They are expensive in any season. Green beans, carrots, apples and melons in season are very inexpensive by comparison.

 

Because asparagus and raspberries are really good. I think you are also forgetting that everyone has individual tastes and like or dislike certain foods. Like, I like tuna, but in moderation. Cottage cheese makes me gag (the texture). Green beans are okay some times. Apples are good is in season. Oh, and melons here are not cheap at all.

 

Bananas are cheap, but also contain a lot of calories. Fruit is good, but some has lots of sugar.

 

And no way is a cup of cottage cheese and a tomato a meal - it's a snack. Not a meal. In terms of tomatoes, fresh from the garden tomatoes are perfection. Unripe sprayed with ethylene grocery store tomatoes are absolute garbage. And greek yogourt is awesome, as long as there is fruit in it.

 

Now if you - algebra - can eat like you've mentioned and feel satisfied, then more power to you. That is awesome. I cannot. I need a bit more substance in my food, else I feel like crap and get a major headache. However, people do get used to eating less, over time.

 

Also, life is too short. I want to enjoy my food and wine - sometimes not in moderation - because otherwise what's the point.

 

How much rice or noodles are these people eating? The studies I've read have shown that these cultures eat less than Americans and exercise more than Americans. That seems to be the two key points, over and over. I haven't read any study that found some people's bodies will turn any amount of starch into fat. Our bodies aren't that stupid.

 

I'm thinking specifically as Asian culture, where noodles (think Thai or Chinese or Japanese) and rice figure prominently. Asians also eat lots of veggies, seafood and fish, which is very good, and yes, eat small portions. If my local Asian grocery store is any indication, desserts are not sweet (thank god).

 

I'm thinking, for example of the Inuit. Because of living in harsh climate with no growing season to speak of, traditionally, the Inuit ate lots of fish, seal, whale (blubber) etc. Their bodies adapted to be able to extract the most nutrition out of a limited diet. Once the younger generation started eating a Western diet (obviously imported foods) the obesity levels skyrocketed. Because those people have metabolisms that store almost all fat, due to environmental conditions and metabolic adaptation. Same thing happens in nations like Fiji and Tonga and any Polynesian culture. The food they did eat, they were fine. Once many of those people eat Western type foods - and not overeating - their bodies stored the food differently than say an Eastern European or African person. Most of these people are not eating massive amounts of food. It's simply genetics.

[ethalfrida]

Great post halcyon. .. like your points.

 

Speaking of different eating habits ... I've always been interested in English culture and specifically the food. The people have always leaned towards sweets and fats and starches. In the past their bodies were simply stout, as in sturdy. Now they are dealing with an obesity crisis. To me, this says it is more of a downgrading of food ingredients rather than overeating.

Edited September 13, 2015 by ethalfrida

[HalcyonDays]

Great post halcyon. .. like your points.

 

Speaking og different eating habits ... I've always been interested in English culture and specifically the food. The people have always leaned towards sweets and fats and starches. In the past their bodies were simply stout, as in sturdy. Now they are dealing with an obesity crisis. To me, this says it is more og a downgrading of food ingredients rather than overeating.

 

Also remember lifestyle changes. Before technology and excess food availability, what did most people have to do on a daily basis? Chores. Preparing large areas for planting food, the physical labour needed to maintain those fields. Laundry that had to be done by hand. Large quantities of firewood had to be chopped. Going into 'town' could be a long walk - miles and miles. Life involved a lot of physical labour that we simply don't need to do today. Back then, sure you ate fatty bacon and meat and potatoes and pasta. But you burned off those calories because you worked hard all day for many hours a day, doing physical labour. Today, most people go to work in a car, then sits at a desk for eight or more hours. That's the difference. No one does the same amounts of physical labour people used to. Therefore no one is burning off large amounts of calories on a daily basis, that would offset not eating like a 'bird'. And now, individual genetics, environment, free availability of food, lack of physical labour and basically modern life all contributes to obesity.

[briochetwist]

I have to disagree. Most of the stuff on the dollar menu is of the 4 nuggets, a taco or an ice cream cone variety. And almost no one, save for a child. is going to eat a taco or a a box of 4 nuggets and call it a meal. When Mr Poetic and I, along with our teenage son went to a fast food restaurant, the bill was over $16. For 3 people. And I had nothing to drink or any sides. With $16, I could buy a chicken, potatoes,veggies or salad fixings and have money left over. I don't see fast food as cost saver at all.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree here too.  I just saw an advertisement on tv for 4 items from Wendy's for $4.00.  Five minutes later, I saw a Burger King ad for 5 for $4.00. I think a lot of people would find this to be a cost saver and time saver.

[Chalby]

Her husband (Ed?) said that Peggy makes the grocery list, and makes him buy what is on the list. Chips, soda, ice cream, boxes of sugared cereal, candy, cake mix, etc. She is completely bedridden--what's she going to do if he brings home vegetables and chicken? Refuse to eat? 

Thank you for posting this. I have often been confused at the excuses the significant others make. These people are mostly bedridden, as you pointed out. How on earth can they get heavier when they haven't even left the house? This is not enabling, this is abuse. For some reason the other person in their life is getting off on keeping them overweight and dependent. Very twisted situation.

[Chalby]

As for the mistaken notion that processed food is cheaper, that's just DUMB. Do the math: cost per gram of protein. Tuna is like the cheapest thing you can buy.

I had to chuckle when I read your post. I am not sure where everyone is from, but I can assure you, where I live there are a lot of "Dollar" stores, as well as clearance stores. You can buy a ton of processed food for next to nothing, so please don't go throwing the 'DUMB' word around. How many times have you seen the youtube posts online with obese WalMart shoppers lined up with processed 'on sale' items in their buggy. I feel bad because our society ensures that if you don't have much money, you will be drawn to the sales of processed food. It costs a lot more $$ for a family to have your fresh veggies and meat, and maybe some organic food. Sad, but true.

Good for you for dealing with your sugar situation, too. Sugar is tough to beat. :(

Wow, I am impressed with you. I may not be overweight, but I am definitely taking in way too much sugar. It's in everything I eat, and when I try to wean off of it, I get the sweats, sick feeling, you name it. How on earth did you do it?

[Chalby]

FB page for Billy Robbins, the Half-Ton Teen: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Billy-Robbins/200064823479838

If that really is him, he's been avoiding all questions regarding his weight loss journey. I have a sinking feeling that not much has changed.

[Chalby]

I'm thinking, for example of the Inuit. Because of living in harsh climate with no growing season to speak of, traditionally, the Inuit ate lots of fish, seal, whale (blubber) etc. Their bodies adapted to be able to extract the most nutrition out of a limited diet. Once the younger generation started eating a Western diet (obviously imported foods) the obesity levels skyrocketed.

Because those people have metabolisms that store almost all fat, due to environmental conditions and metabolic adaptation. Same thing happens in nations like Fiji and Tonga and any Polynesian culture. The food they did eat, they were fine. Once many of those people eat Western type foods - and not overeating - their bodies stored the food differently than say an Eastern European or African person. Most of these people are not eating massive amounts of food. It's simply genetics.

I don't know about only looking at genetics. In studying the Northern people (Inuit, etc) the Western food did not come to them, but rather they encountered a different diet the further south they moved. As well, the further south they went, the less physical activity was needed. Up north, they had to constantly move to survive. New environment meant less reliance on themselves. Now they're driving everywhere, they don't need to hunt or gather to eat. Everything comes to them. Introduce television, and they're are no longer themselves. As was pointed out in many posts, less caloric intake, more movement equals weight loss.

[Guest dutronc]

It's not just the northern climates, though. The indigenous peoples throughout North America often have a nutritional crisis connected in part to the change of the food supply; this might also explain some of the health crises among people of African heritage in the US. The thrifty gene hypothesis suggests that while it is mostly calories in-calories out, the quality and nature of the food cannot be discounted because there might be a biological incentive to hold on to the higher calories among people who come from a traditional diet that was lower in calories. There's a lot of debate and discussion over the premise, but on the other hand, I think most people would accept that a genetic predisposition to diabetes or hypertension is real, especially within families; the thrifty gene hypothesis takes the idea of predisposition beyond families to a group-level dynamic. In the US, people of Hispanic/Latino origin run the highest risk of diabetes, and within the Hispanic and Latino community in the US, I think the majority would identify some sort of indigenous, African or mestizo/a ancestors as part of their heritage, although not all. The next highest risk group for type 2 diabetes is people of African descent. Obviously, there's a lot to consider in terms of access to health care, diet, overall environment, and more, but I think there's evidence that it's more than calories in-calories out. 

 

Anyway, topic? I'm a bit behind this season and haven't seen Nikki's episode yet. That is all. 

Edited January 18, 2016 by dutronc

[CousinOliver]

FB page for Billy Robbins, the Half-Ton Teen: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Billy-Robbins/200064823479838

THIS is who I want an update on. I'd also like to see that middle episode, Survival of the Half Ton Teen (I think) again. I've seen the first one (Half Ton Teen) and the third (Half Ton Teen: Confronting Addiction), but the second is a bit of a mystery (vaguely remember a Hurricane hitting the hospital...)

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

There are tons of theories on the rise of obesity in this country. One factor I suspect is overlooked: the prevalence of corn in the modern America diet. Something like 90% of the food you eat has corn in it somewhere, be it corn syrup in your soft drink, corn-derived maltodextrin in your bread, or the animals used in the meat you eat having eaten corn (which isn't particularly good for them) all their lives. When the two filmmakers in King Corn: You Are What You Eat had a hair analysis performed, it was determined that 40% of the carbon in their bodies was corn-based carbon. Late in the film, they talk with a possibly drunken corn farmer who admits everything he grows is crap that will gradually kill the people who eat it, but he can't think about it because he has no other realistic career options at this stage of his life.

[ethalfrida]

There are tons of theories on the rise of obesity in this country. One factor I suspect is overlooked: the prevalence of corn in the modern America diet. Something like 90% of the food you eat has corn in it somewhere, be it corn syrup in your soft drink, corn-derived maltodextrin in your bread, or the animals used in the meat you eat having eaten corn (which isn't particularly good for them) all their lives. When the two filmmakers in King Corn: You Are What You Eat had a hair analysis performed, it was determined that 40% of the carbon in their bodies was corn-based carbon. Late in the film, they talk with a possibly drunken corn farmer who admits everything he grows is crap that will gradually kill the people who eat it, but he can't think about it because he has no other realistic career options at this stage of his life.

And it is mostly genetically modified... it grows its own pesticide within the kernels.

 

And it just pisses me off to hear a parent say "she/he has always been fat/large/big" as if the child came here in control of the foods available to them. People are in denial of their responsibility for nutrition for themselves and their family. It is also the same thing that denies there is anything wrong with modern-day foods. Most of it is crap. And before we trigger that "you would eat it if you had nothing else stank eye" let me say, yes, I would. But I do have choices and search high and low daily for new ones.

[lazazelle]

On 1/5/2015 at 6:37 AM, kelm said:

Just added this show to my secret shame file when I caught the reruns.

Can't recall his name, Dan, maybe? Went into a coma, found out he was doing meth, diagnosed with some disease that put him in a wheelchair, gained nearly ALL of his weight back... That guy.

I really wanted to slap his mother! Now he can eat TWO take out tacos, she says with pride! Now he can eat FOUR! And she doesn't understand why he's gaining weight and the Dr. seems upset... Really?!

And one lady had a twin... The "star" can't leave her house, the twin is fearful her weight gain will kill her... And twin brings in BAGS of McDonald's food. Ok...

OMG I couldn't believe his mom either wtf. Why even support him having the surgery?? I was really upset with her when he said he weighed 150#'s when he was 5!! You can completely control what your child eats. She is a shameless disgusting enabler and obviously spoiled him bc what a shitty attitude he had even towards his doctor. 

I am now watching Henry's story and he has such a great attitude but his family, dios mio. His mom stopped at McDonald's on the way home from the hospital!! His whole family started chowing down like they were making love to those big macs. He said I guess I picked a bad time to come home and they were like what do you mean🤦‍♀️??

[El maestro]

On 1/5/2015 at 10:51 AM, poeticlicensed said:

I have noticed that very little food is actually prepared in those households. Lots of fast food,take-out and the food that comes from the grocery store is generally 2 lite bottles of soda, baked goods, ice cream, processed foods and snacks. I think there is definitely an enabling dynamic that goes on between the caregivers and the obese person. Lots of guilting, begging, threatening. The saddest part is when I hear a caregiving parent or spouse say that they give them the food because that's the only happiness in their lives and if they took away the food, there would be nothing good in their lives. It's incredibly sad.

 

As an aside, Mr Poetic and I were making an 8 hour drive home from a family visit and stopped at a fast food restaurant (McD's) to get a bite to eat. I haven't had a fast food burger in years and after actually eating one, I can't imagine eating that kind of food every day, much less multiple times in one day. Also I was shocked at how expensive fast food has become. I hear a lot being said about how economically disadvantaged people eat fast food because it's cheap, but it seemed pretty expensive to me. 

 

On 1/10/2016 at 8:31 PM, briochetwist said:

Sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree here too.  I just saw an advertisement on tv for 4 items from Wendy's for $4.00.  Five minutes later, I saw a Burger King ad for 5 for $4.00. I think a lot of people would find this to be a cost saver and time saver.

Fast food is not cheap. It is convenient, for some people, but not cheap. It is a stereotype saying that low income people eat fast food because it is cheap, when it is not. I was talking with some families who have saved a lot of money during the time restaurants were closed.

Edited March 20, 2021 by El maestro

[AZChristian]

8 hours ago, El maestro said:

I was talking with some families who have saved a lot of money during the time restaurants were closed.

We sure have.  Yesterday was our first foray in over a year into eating something that we didn't prepare at home.  Took the plunge with Dairy Queen Blizzards.

Sadly, I forgot that I'm lactose intolerant and hadn't had anything like that in over a year.  The price was paid, and I have been reminded.  I will NOT do that again!

[JunkFoodTV]

On 3/20/2021 at 6:45 AM, AZChristian said:

We sure have.  Yesterday was our first foray in over a year into eating something that we didn't prepare at home.  Took the plunge with Dairy Queen Blizzards.

We seldom have "fast food". It's not exactly "fast" if you have to drive over an hour to get to the nearest Arby's  (my hubby's favorite). We do venture out once a month or so for a Sunday date. How romantic. 😍😂

I can't imagine eating that kind of thing 2 to 3 times a day by the bagful. Just gross....

[Wanda]

On 3/23/2021 at 12:42 PM, JunkFoodTV said:

We seldom have "fast food". It's not exactly "fast" if you have to drive over an hour to get to the nearest Arby's  (my hubby's favorite). We do venture out once a month or so for a Sunday date. How romantic. 😍😂

I can't imagine eating that kind of thing 2 to 3 times a day by the bagful. Just gross....

Oh Arby’s. The closest to me is also an hour and there’s only like 3 in the whole state. But I’m forced to confront multiple ads whilst binging old sitcoms 😞

[sainte-chapelle]

The problem with most of these folks is that they are addicts. I will never forget the twins that were still sleeping in bed  together and got fat together in hopes that drug addict moms multiple male visitors would stop raping them. I think mom basically let the men do what they wanted to the girls for free drugs. Mom continues to be an asshole to them but they did seem like sweet and grateful young  women.  The issue with them was never the food.

Edited March 29, 2021 by sainte-chapelle

[Scarlett45]

21 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

The problem with most of these folks is that they are addicts. I will never forget the twins that were still sleeping in bed  together and got fat together in hopes that drug addict moms multiple male visitors would stop raping them. I think mom basically let the men do what they wanted to the girls for free drugs. Mom continues to be an asshole to them but they did seem like sweet and grateful young  women.  The issue with them was never the food.

I remember those young women. They are both doing well- have lost lots of weight and one is married with two children. 
 

I agree that the main problem with these participants is addiction- yes they may have always been the heavier people in society if given access to the calories, but to get this big it’s not just a tendency towards heaviness, sedentary life style plus easy access to calories- it’s all that PLUS abuse, neglect, childhood trauma, addiction AND an enabler. I think many of the participants have enablers for the same reason Al-anon has members, the addiction can effect the entire family. 

[Selina]

Poor Sean’s mother was TOXIC. It’s sad that she died but she was terrible for him. That poor lad never stood a chance.