S01.E10: Why Do We Cover The Mirrors?

[maraleia]

 

A funeral brings all the Pfeffermans together and reunites them with their past - Shelley and Maura with old friends, Sarah with her ex, and Josh with his teenage babysitter - who brings a 17-year-old boy. Just when they thought there were no more secrets, the family busts out a few more.

 

[Hecate7]

This is an interesting, but bizarrely selfish family. All of them. Even Maura. Maybe especially Maura.

 

I loved the title, "Why Do We Cover The Mirrors?" The rabbi gave this enlightened, modern, pure BS explanation about vanity. Yeah, right. If that were the case people wouldn't be dressing up! Maura shows up late to Ed's funeral, dressed to the 9's like some giant drag queen. His daughter is in a suit and tie, and his ex-wife is in a modest pantsuit, but Maura has to wear a hat with a ribbon. When you are two feet taller than everyone else, a hat is not a smart fashion statement. Then he switches sitting shiv for Ed to a discussion about his gender journey. It's very easy to see where the kids get their self-absorption.

 

Maura and Shelly are so self absorbed that they think it's ok to mercy-kill Ed for Shelly's convenience. The only people at the funeral who actually knew Ed or wanted to remember him, or who cared about him at all, were the guards who routinely found him and brought him home. All Shelly had to say was "see ya, Ed."

 

Maura is interested in dressing up, and in "being a woman," but she seems to think that being a woman is about wearing sparkly dresses and being the center of attention. She's not thinking about all the male privilege she's always had, that made it ok for her to interrupt people and take up two seats or walk whatever damn way she felt like. She's interested in putting perfume on her wrists before Ed's funeral. Why? I don't think Ali or Sarah or even Shelly put perfume on to go to the funeral. And Ali wore a suit and a tie. Just what is this womanhood Maura has denied, all about, anyway?

 

Covering the mirrors is actually a very dark superstition. Everyone knows mirrors are covered to prevent the deceased's spirit from getting trapped in them. The family are all trapped in Maura's mirror. They are all reflecting back the person she has been as they grew up. Mort wasn't there for Shelly--he didn't even exist, apparently. He was just a lie Maura was telling. Mort was a reflection, a ghost, a shadow. And he is the father they grew up with, not Maura.

 

This father wrote checks. That's what he did. He was a good provider and he thought that was enough. Ali in particular was ignored and neglected, "spoiled" because that was easier than dealing with her at all. The family passed the buck to Josh, who went off to have sex and leave Ali unattended. And yet NOW he's gonna throw a fit because their relationship is based on money? Hello, Maura, was there something else you thought you were bringing to the table all these years?

 

Maura's very lucky to be friends with the ex, to have three kids who actually show up because they got a phone call, and who actually WENT to the talent show. (He probably never went to THEIR lame talent shows). But she's got her nose in a snit because these kids she avoided most of their lives, (we were told in the very first episode "My father NEVER calls me," and they all assumed he must be dying because he contacted them at all) aren't mature, perfect people. Worse, they think about stuff that isn't Maura! OMG!

Edited October 14, 2014 by Hecate7

[KFC]

This is an interesting, but bizarrely selfish family. All of them. Even Maura. Maybe especially Maura.

 

It'll be interesting to see how the show develops next season. I think I prefer the family as a framing device for Maura's story rather than Maura's transition being a framing device for the family's story, and you just hit the nail on the head of why. They're all selfish in their own ways, but when the show focuses on Maura's new life, we get to see her forced out of her comfort zone. And while I don't think a show has to be full of likable characters to be worth watching, to me it's more compelling when we see the focus on her as the underdog in a new world vs. the emphasis on Maura as head of a family of self-centered fuck-ups. (Although I am, for the record, interested in the other Pfeffermans' stories, just not as much as Maura's.)

Edited October 17, 2014 by KFC

[BetyBee]

I guess not that many people have watched all the episodes?  I really enjoy the show, though I can't believe sometimes how selfish the Pfeffermans are.  What Ali did to Josh's new relationship was pretty awful.  The Colton twist caught me by surprise and I hope that's just what Josh needs to finally grow up.  Sometimes in the kids' flashbacks, I get an Ice Storm vibe.  Ali especially was left to raise herself.  I do like that the parents are so supportive of one another post divorce.  I couldn't help but feel sorry for Ed having to rely on Pfeffermans for his care! 

[Hecate7]

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Ed having to rely on Pfeffermans for his care! 

Me, too! Especially since all of them but Ali decided it would be easier just to kill him than to keep looking after him. I hope he died naturally and saved them the trouble, but I won't be surprised if Shelly or Maura put something in a syringe. They left it open whether Ed was really running away, or whether he just thought he was leaving, that last day.

[Rinaldo]

There are legitimate, hard questions about reaching the end of life (not intervening when most functions have shut down), but putting percocet in an IV because "I've had it" falls pretty far away from the line, I would think. I prefer to think that Ed pushed himself too far when he took his last walk and died that way; I wonder if it'll ever be clarified, or if they want us to think whatever we'd prefer.

 

This really is a selfish family, but they're drawn so fully and humanly I want to see them all -- equally, in fact (certainly Maura no more than any of the others), and I think I need more Shelly just to bring her even with the others so far. Judith Light is just such a hoot. But Sarah gets tired of whichever partner she's with and turns to the other; Josh is sure each new thing is The Real Thing; and at the moment I have no words for Ali, she just takes everything and then complains when following her precious momentary impulses leads to disaster.

Edited October 24, 2014 by AmandaPanda
double text within post

[LisaM]

Could not believe that Maura arrived at the funeral fashionably late in a white limo and wearing that huge hat.

 

A little bit of Ali goes a long way. Can't believe that she blew up Josh and the Rabbi although the Rabbi seemed like a nice woman who should run far away from this family. Can't see Sarah and Tammy actually working out. As soon as I saw Rita with a young man, I knew that he was Josh's son.

 

Judith Light is, as usual, terrific.

[Primetimer]

The Transparent season finale clarifies why the show is so watchable.

Read the story

[SlackerInc]

 What Ali did to Josh's new relationship was pretty awful.  

 

Yeah, that made me really lose all sympathy for Ali.  I've seen other recappers say that she was actually right to do this, that she was doing Raquel a favor, but I don't see it like that at all.  Maybe I'm just too much of an optimist, but I thought they really were developing something special together.

 

Like Rinaldo, I'm curious as to what actually happened to Ed.  I was surprised to see him dead at the beginning of this episode, as I thought he had actually recovered at the end of the previous one.  I suppose we do just have to draw our own conclusions.

[rozen]

Yeah, that made me really lose all sympathy for Ali.  I've seen other recappers say that she was actually right to do this, that she was doing Raquel a favor, but I don't see it like that at all.  Maybe I'm just too much of an optimist, but I thought they really were developing something special together.

 

Like Rinaldo, I'm curious as to what actually happened to Ed.  I was surprised to see him dead at the beginning of this episode, as I thought he had actually recovered at the end of the previous one.  I suppose we do just have to draw our own conclusions.

 

I think all of them are a triangle of awfulness. Ali was being intentionally undermining and nasty, but I think what she said is true. Josh's 'love' of Raquel seemed super shallow and mostly because he's still mourning his potential fatherhood with that rocker girl. Raquel goes from 0 to 100 and back again, at the slightest chance of failure or disappointment, she is clearly not ready for an actual relationship. One slightly damning comment from Ali and she basically stormed out and told Josh to go die in a fire. I thought that the conversation happening in front of a mirror was kind of hilarious, because that's exactly what Raquel does. She looks at the reflection of her relationship through other's eyes, not actually evaluating it for herself.

[paramitch]

Interesting episode, and one that really spotlighted the selfishness and emotional gluttony of all these people, including Maura in her own way, which I found a bit disappointing.

 

I was enraged at the last episode, and wrote about my feelings about these people's treatment of Ed there, but I did wish this one had clarified how exactly Ed went out. The implication seemed to be that he fled and died last episode, but who knows.

 

I did think the opening, with the gentle treatment of Ed's body after death, and the swaddling of his limbs, was affecting and moving, and beautifully shot.

 

I was disappointed in this as a season finale, though. So many of the character beats felt predictable and tired. I also felt like Tammy came across as a jarringly different person (and as much less self-aware) than we've seen her be in previous episodes, although at least she was one of the few people who actually did seem to be thinking of poor Ed at all.

 

I did however love Maura's final rant at Ali, and nobody deserved it more. Watching this girl wander through life in a haze of drugs, sex and navel-gazing with no impetus to get a job or support herself has been driving me crazy the entire season. I loved it when Maura asked, "Now that I'm not giving you money, do you even actually like me?" Bingo. How much of Ali's support has been lip service to that constant succession of checks?

 

I was, however, somewhat relieved Ali didn't reciprocate Syd's feelings, and it seemed pretty obvious that that was another potential story beat, so I was glad to be wrong there. Although I do find it somewhat cliched that only the two daughters seem more flexible on the Kinsey scale than Josh, but he's the one I find consistently the most shallowly written anyway. Ali showing up at the funeral in a man's suit seemed odd to me, just because it wasn't really addressed, and I can't get a real bead on her character or what she's looking for. I did like Syd cutting her tie for her.

 

I'll definitely watch next season, but I felt like as a finale this was unsatisfying. I like the show more as an exploration of Maura's journey versus when it's an exploration of the family's narcissism and selfishness, just because those are so unrelenting and unchanging. The funeral was so freaking sad because nobody seemed to actually care. Everyone took one step forward, three steps back (and even Josh's forward motion is entirely passive -- and again, I kind of cringed that great, the woman who molested him had a kid... I wish the mother had been anyone else from his past).

[90PercentGravity]

I just watched the whole series over the course of about three days. I hate all three kids, but I am also interested in their stories. The only one that hits a sour note for me is Judith Light. I feel like she's doing sketch comedy and it pulls me out of the show.

 

There is no way that Colton is the genetic offspring of those two, but throwing a southern, Christian kid into the mix could certainly liven things up. I like his earnestness. He is also the only one who didn't seem completely thrown by everything going on around him.

 

Poor Ed, we hardly knew ya.

 

Ali is like a personality vampire. She's feeding off her dad right now, but I don't think her sudden movement toward a more masculine persona is genuine. I think she just adopts the traits of whoever happens to be most influential in her life at the moment, which is also why she can't settle into any sort of routine. Her mind is too unstable. She still needs to figure herself out.

[Hecate7]

I don't think so. I think Ali has always been more masculine. She's never liked dresses or makeup, she's "low femme" according to the trans man she went out with, and her best friend is attracted to her. Arrows are pointing a certain direction for Ali, a chip off the old block if there ever was one.

She has had trouble establishing an identity, probably because her role models were completely disinterested in her, and because they were also false on top of it. After seeing a typical day in her childhood, I sympathize with her. There's no other way she could have turned out, but looking for herself in everyone else.

 

I think she's going to be an equal and opposite reaction to Moira's force. Al will be a homosexual trans male--wanting to be male, but wanting to be hot to men as well, just as Moira wants to be a woman and also to be desired by them.

[Gemma Violet]

I wish the show would revolve more around Maura whom I really like and feel sorry for.  The three kids are so unpleasant, I find myself looking at my watch to determine how much longer they'll be on screen.  They're selfish and boring and weird.  I'll give the show another season, but it's not really what I was expecting after all the hype.    

[Chaos Theory]

I wish the show would revolve more around Maura whom I really like and feel sorry for. The three kids are so unpleasant, I find myself looking at my watch to determine how much longer they'll be on screen. They're selfish and boring and weird. I'll give the show another season, but it's not really what I was expecting after all the hype.

The show is exactly what I was expecting. From the beginning it was about Maura and how Mort and his lies raised three kids who couldn't see beyond themselves. Maura asked support group that exact question but you slowly realize the answer. They are all just like her.

[April Bloodgate]

I don't think so. I think Ali has always been more masculine. She's never liked dresses or makeup, she's "low femme" according to the trans man she went out with, and her best friend is attracted to her.

How does her best friend being attracted to her point to her being more masculine? That character has dated both men and women.

[Hecate7]

How does her best friend being attracted to her point to her being more masculine? That character has dated both men and women.

 

True, but she's certainly not attracted to Ali for Ali's femininity. And she assumed that Ali returned her feelings on some level. That means Ali reads as gay or bi to gay or bi women. She isn't. She's not very interested in women at all--she is the most boy crazy character I've seen on TV. There are quite a lot of women like her in real life.

[VagueDisclaimer]

I loved the title, "Why Do We Cover The Mirrors?" The rabbi gave this enlightened, modern, pure BS explanation about vanity. Yeah, right. If that were the case people wouldn't be dressing up!

Actually that is not a modern explanation whatsoever and is one of the oldest Jewish traditions during Shiva, along with the tearing of the clothes(as Ali talked about with her tie). You are not supposed to care how you look, you're not supposed to bathe for pleasure or shave, wear leather or jewelry, study or have sex. You are supposed to sit on boxes or low chairs to symbolize the weight of your grief. Shiva is supposed to be about grief and indulging completely in it and forgetting about the niceties of life for one week.

The fact that the title is about this kind of custom and this family went completely against the real purpose of it is, to me, the true symbolism of the title. Everyone did come dressed up, Maura especially, each making statements with their garments, upstaging what this was supposed to be about. I enjoy this show, but this family is so self-indulgent, managing to make a funeral all about their own issues, it can be frustrating. I did love the final moments between Ali and Maura. In one respect, Ali is correct. A 13-year old shouldn't get to make these decisions. If I had pulled that with my parents, they'd have told me too bad, we've paid for it, suck it up. Ali was looking for an easy way out but so was Morty, at the time. And Shelly wasn't willing to fight it, either. Kids test boundaries and Ali clearly knew at least most of her Haftorah portion, but she was acting like a kid and was pushing and her parents let her, with hardly a shove back in reply. An easy victory.

Maura was right in that Ali is floating everywhere without having any idea where she wants to land and seems to expect everyone to keep indulging it, but maybe someone saying no to her will finally help. A push back. She's an adult, she *shouldn't* need that, but she clearly needs more people saying no to her. And not just the jabs from her siblings. I'm curious to see her relationship with Maura next season.

I don't really like Ali all that much, but outside of Maura, I don't really like any of this family all that much. Maura makes it more compelling and watchable, IMO. Otherwise it's just another indulgent, privileged family and whining about their first world problems and trying to solve them with sex and drugs.

[Guest]

There are legitimate, hard questions about reaching the end of life (not intervening when most functions have shut down), but putting percocet in an IV because "I've had it" falls pretty far away from the line, I would think. I prefer to think that Ed pushed himself too far when he took his last walk and died that way; I wonder if it'll ever be clarified, or if they want us to think whatever we'd prefer.

I think we're meant to believe he walked into the duck pond of his own volition and drowned because he overheard how Shelly was over it.  The flashback was of him proclaiming how he only ever wanted to make her happy.  The guards remarked in an earlier episode how the ducks were his usual destination.

 

I wish the show would revolve more around Maura whom I really like and feel sorry for.  The three kids are so unpleasant, I find myself looking at my watch to determine how much longer they'll be on screen.  They're selfish and boring and weird.  I'll give the show another season, but it's not really what I was expecting after all the hype.    

 

I was disappointed, too.  The kids are just detestable.  Sarah is the only one I can even remotely sympathize with.

True, but she's certainly not attracted to Ali for Ali's femininity. And she assumed that Ali returned her feelings on some level. That means Ali reads as gay or bi to gay or bi women. She isn't. She's not very interested in women at all--she is the most boy crazy character I've seen on TV. There are quite a lot of women like her in real life.

Except the person in the plaid was a female.  And she's a little too upset her friend slept with her bro.  It's none of her business. They're consenting adults.  

 

I don't like Ali at all and I don't think she raised herself.  She spent one night alone at age 13... big deal.  She's so coddled.  She's over 30 and still letting daddy support her.  Poor thing.  I wanted Maura to slap her insolent face when she was tossing ones at him. Then for the sibs to go after her?  What a bunch of assholes. 

[SaabStory]

Regarding Ali's sexuality, I have known women who were overly sexual with men in an attempt to hide or mask the fact that they were actually attracted to women.  My question is why did Ali shut down the friend when she finally confessed her feelings? They seem like they have a pretty open and honest relationship. Was she disgusted (for lack of a better term) and want out or did she not want to confront the fact that she might actually feel the same way? Sex is easy. Feelings are not.  I have no idea whether this storyline will continue next season, but I wouldn't mind seeing Ali try to have a sexual relationship with someone she has feelings for instead of standing in a bathroom with, basically a stranger, and a red sparkly dildo. :) 

It might just make her more likable.

Edited July 2, 2015 by SaabStory

[Pjxf99]

Who brings their son to meet his biological father during a funeral?

[Hecate7]

I think we're meant to believe he walked into the duck pond of his own volition and drowned because he overheard how Shelly was over it.  The flashback was of him proclaiming how he only ever wanted to make her happy.  The guards remarked in an earlier episode how the ducks were his usual destination.

 

 

I was disappointed, too.  The kids are just detestable.  Sarah is the only one I can even remotely sympathize with.

Except the person in the plaid was a female.  And she's a little too upset her friend slept with her bro.  It's none of her business. They're consenting adults.  

 

I don't like Ali at all and I don't think she raised herself.  She spent one night alone at age 13... big deal.  She's so coddled.  She's over 30 and still letting daddy support her.  Poor thing.  I wanted Maura to slap her insolent face when she was tossing ones at him. Then for the sibs to go after her?  What a bunch of assholes. 

 

 

She spent every night alone at age 13. That was the point. Not just one night. Her life was always like that.

[Guest]

She spent every night alone at age 13. That was the point. Not just one night. Her life was always like that.

I think you have a unique take on her, if you see her as neglected and firmly hetero.  

[Hecate7]

I think you have a unique take on her, if you see her as neglected and firmly hetero.  

 

I don't see her as firmly anything, but I do see her as very neglected. She was usually alone, not just alone once. She's attracted to men, but I think she also wants to be one. There are three kids--a heterosexual male, a bisexual female, and Ali, who I'm sure is meant to represent a third category. But she has done nothing to suggest that she's attracted to women at all, and so I suspect she's trans like her Dad.

[Guest]

Oh, that could be interesting.  I figured she just represented "gender/sexuality confused".  

 

I don't watch that closely and possibly missed references to her being left alone most of the time.  I think it's easy to feel a little neglected when you're the youngest in a large-ish, busy family, though in her case they seemed to compensate freely with money, which (for better or worse) is a form of support and even caring that she seemed to enjoy plenty of all the way up to and through adulthood.  So I don't see her as neglected.  I think it was respectful they called off her bat mitzvah at her request.  She sees it as neglectful.  I think a lot of us tend to damn our parents' decisions, whichever way they went.  I think it's an immature response and she's looking for a scapegoat for her own issues.  But that's just one interpretation.  

[Hecate7]

They left her alone assuming her siblings would take care of her. Her older brother was supposed to be watching her but he was busy having an affair because he wasn't being watched either!

 

I think if Ali weren't so neglected, she 1) wouldn't have these issues, and 2) wouldn't need to look for a scapegoat. Her mind certainly wouldn't leap to how neglected she was. Moreover, they didn't actually cancel the Bat-Mitzvah out of respect for her. They did it for their own convenience, and that was made very clear. Mort could wait to get out of the house for another weekend away as Maura, and who knows what the Mom was doing. But it worked out fine for them, and THAT is why they didn't argue with Ali about it. It was all about their co

[Hootis]

I just watched season 1, and these people make me want to puke. The kids, the mom, that INFANT of a daughter, Ali. I know people are generally fucked up, but this is beyond reason.

Is season 2 worse?

[millennium]

I'm transgender and I hate all of these people.   Not since the Fisher family of Six Feet Under have I so despised a television family.   They fuck with people's lives and don't lose a minute of sleep; only when something detracts from their own fulfillment does it give them pause.

I waited a long time to watch this show.   I knew that if mainstream America was applauding a show ostensibly focused on a transgender person (and it isn't really about the transgender person), I would probably hate it.  I was right.

I hate Jeffrey Tambor's characterization most of all.   Jeffrey Tambor was a shitty choice for this role, if only due to the fact that back in the 80s he played a cross-dressing judge for an entire season on Hill Street Blues strictly for laughs.  His character was a boorish asshole.   It made a mockery of being transgender on network TV.   And THIS is the guy they cast for Maura?  

Fuck you, Soloways.

Edited October 21, 2016 by millennium