Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!

[NoWillToResist]

Which network is it which allows one "fuck" per season? Is it FX? I seem to remember reading something about that.

 

Wait...I think it was Breaking Bad...but didn't that air on AMC too?

[AngelaHunter]

Kirk says "Let's get the hell out of here."

 

Yes! Oh my goodness, and I believe Gene Roddenberry had to fight to get that in there. It certainly had so much more emotional clout than "Let's get the heck out of here" would have had. But Mr. Roddenberry was able to slip in quite a few things that were extremely risque by the standards of the day.

 

Here we are, 50 years later, and we still can't hear a curse word, even when necessary.

 

I'm sure no one cares to hear non-stop "fucks" on this show, a la "Deadwood", (it gets tedious) but Rick's PG-13 "Screwing" ruined the whole scene for me. If ever an occasion called for a "FUCK", being captured by cannibals, imprisoned and on your way to being slaughtered and eaten was it.

[walnutqueen]

Yes! Oh my goodness, and I believe Gene Roddenberry had to fight to get that in there. It certainly had so much more emotional clout than "Let's get the heck out of here" would have had. But Mr. Roddenberry was able to slip in quite a few things that were extremely risque by the standards of the day.

 

Here we are, 50 years later, and we still can't hear a curse word, even when necessary.

 

I'm sure no one cares to hear non-stop "fucks" on this show, a la "Deadwood", (it gets tedious) but Rick's PG-13 "Screwing" ruined the whole scene for me. If ever an occasion called for a "FUCK", being captured by cannibals, imprisoned and on your way to being slaughtered and eaten was it.

 

I, for one, would love to hear more fucking fuckety fucks, a la Deadwood's Trixie The Whore and Dexter's Debra Morgan, but that's just me.  :-)

 

On the other hand, gratuitous violence seems to be the cornerstone of this great nation, and even I have managed to adapt to this brave new world, so there's hope for everyone in the ZA.  Because the best thing about America (and Americans) is how they react when the worst happens, and that gives me a small but brightly burning hope for humanity.

[Nashville]

I still have a hard time not calling a sofa a chesterfield.  :-)

 

You sit on a pack of cigarettes?

 

Or is that just me showing my age again?  :)

[walnutqueen]

You sit on a pack of cigarettes?

 

Or is that just me showing my age again?  :)

 

Smoke 'em if you got 'em (I certainly did), otherwise just sit on it.  Now who's showing their age?!  :-)

[AngelaHunter]

Dexter's Debra Morgan,

 

Ack! Debra has been the cause of new, foul additions to my already iffy vocabulary. These days, "Fuck me twice on Sunday!" pops out of my mouth way too often.

[RedheadZombie]

I dislike gratuitous anything, including graphic violence, but at least on HBO Rick would have been allowed to use the F-bomb (which that scene REALLY needed) because apparently people who watch those premium channels don't get a bad case of the vapors and keel over at a mere word.

 

On American Horror Story the other night, the entire hour was filled with blow job references, penises, and the comment, "Suck my cock" - and it was said in the literal sense, not in a kiss my ass sense.  This is on F/X.  It crossed into frat boy for me, and I found it a turn off.  I don't have a problem with a lot of swear words, but I don't tend to use them literally.  For instance, you may piss me off, but I'm certainly not about to announce I need to take a piss.  I will tell someone to fuck off, but not ask someone if they want to fuck.

 

The "they're screwing with the wrong people" line would have only been minimally helped by substituting "fucking", in my opinion.  It was the melodramatic pause that preceded the line.  I was expecting Rick to whip out an AK-47, kick the boxcar door open, produce a walkie talkie and say "Mr. President", or something along those lines.  What a letdown that sentence was, following an otherwise amazing finale.

 

Oh hell, NOES, they di'n't.  PETA & me would be all over that shite, right?!?  I will NOT look up one more thing to outrage me, I swear!

 

This type of thing has become almost unbearable to me.  On The Little Couple - an otherwise inspirational and innocuous show - the father caught a fish, fucked around trying to remove the hook until it suffocated, then tossed it back into the water with a "sleeping with the fishes" comment.  We are definitely sliding backwards on all animal issues, and TV is just an example.  I have witnessed multiple episodes of Survivor this season with people holding a living impaled crab over a fire as it struggles.  All The Amazing Race episodes including animals, involve a great deal of me peaking through my fingers.  I love Norman, but he tends to be a method actor.  I could see him insisting on real squirrels.  Does this mean than it was a real dead squirrel that Norman ate?  Did they at least check for rabies?

[Nashville]

Ack! Debra has been the cause of new, foul additions to my already iffy vocabulary. These days, "Fuck me twice on Sunday!" pops out of my mouth way too often.

 

My personal favorite Debraism was "Holy Frankenfuck!"

[GreyBunny]

More Debra-isms:

 

"Where in Fucktopia are you?"

 

"Whoa, fuckpuddle, what do you think you're doing?"

 

and this crowning achievement:

 

"Motherfucking suck bag, you cock munching fucking fuck nugget!"

Edited December 13, 2014 by GreyBunny

[AngelaHunter]

Motherfucking suck bag, you cock munching fucking fuck nugget!"

 

Elevator meltdown! Best thing ever!

[nachomama]

My great Aunt Babe's house was a time capsule to 50's -60's, everything perfectly preserved and she called the sofa a divan. I loved her light switches, little bubbles, I used to be annoying and just go around turning on lights. She also had a Lanai (not a deck) and a really funky round lounge chair, like it was a rocking lounge chair and of course we tried to get it rocking as much as possible almost turning ourselves into hamsters on a wheel. Oddly cannot remember the name of that thing. 

 

Oh, speaking of time capsules I went to visit somebody's aunt one time because she basically lived in Graceland, her house was like Elvis'seses because nothing had changed since 1971 and of course at the time it was super swank. So there were draperies that covered whole walls floor to ceiling and side to side. And all the hideous olive green appliances and old phones. Shag carpeting and bedrooms looked like Liberace's dressing room. So she sits down and she's telling us odd stories from her childhood and I couldn't tell if she'd had a stroke or just had such a country accent that I just wasn't understanding her too well. 

 

She had a favorite aunt who all the kids loved but she never had kids of her own. She had married a widow with a couple kids and then her second husband also had kids from a previous marriage (both husbands died not long after they got married) and she was the best mother ever yada yada. And the phrase she kept using was "she didn't had a place for a man" and at the time I thought she was trying to imply that Aunty mighta been a lesbian in a different time, she wasn't interested in men but had to get married cuz that's just what you did. No options. Then she gets to the end of the story and after Aunty died apparently she was a hermaphrodite because she "literally" had no "place" for a man. :O She said no wonder the husbands died so soon. She was hilarious! I wanted to listen to her stories all day. Her own son had been gay and had passed away but all his furniture had been sent to her and she showed us a room with all the fine china and fancy stuff, he had Steubens and she kept saying Stupens or Stupids. At first I thought she was mistaken but I think she was sharp as a tack.

[mandolin]

Some faves from my grandma who passed away a few years ago at age 97: toilet = commode, umbrella = parasol, sink = lavatory, refrigerator = frigidaire. So fun.

 

Whenever I hear lanai, I think of the Golden Girls. 

[nachomama]

Yup it was always commode. And I think Golden girls too, I think she also called it Davenport. And you had to watch your "stories" the soap operas. 

 

And my mother was from Iowa and my dad from Louisiana so he made fun of her saying "rid up the table" which was clear the table. And she said "wersh" go wersh the dishes. And he used to get so angry at how we pronounced "hawk" (school mascot, usually not something that comes up in every day conversation) he would yell "it's How-k not Hock like hockey puck". 

[nachomama]

Who is this Debra? We must become besties RFN!

[kikismom]

My grandma said "I need to wash my head" instead of wash her hair. She liked curls, so she put her hair up in spoolies. Margarine was "oleo" and she would wash her "foundations". Table linens were kept in the breakfront.

One Christmas we got my grandfather what he asked us to get, which was some kind of electric powered saw. He was reading the instructions on the box which were printed in English and French and he goes "Hey! Whaddya know! It says here it uses tampons!"

[nachomama]

My mom said oleo too! freaky I haven't heard that in so long. I'm strictly anti margarine now, only real butter. And I'll break things if you bring Miracle whip into my house. I also dislike eggs but can't do anything about that, you kinda gotta cook with them once in a while. But ick if you do a soft 3 minute egg thing like my gramma used to do I'll probably puke on your shoes. 

[mandolin]

Yes! Oleo. :)

[kikismom]

Can't eat eggs. Well, I can eat them...and have a stomach ache for 7 hours after. Not worth it.

[walnutqueen]

Yes! Oleo. :)

 

Parkay!  :-)

[nachomama]

I remember the old Parkay commercials and the DON'T FOOL WITH MOTHER NATURE LADY when you told her it was not butter. I'M NOT OLD! >:(

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Who is this Debra?

 

Debra Morgan, from the show "Dexter." If you haven't watched this series, I really must insist you do so asap.

 

In the meantime, here's a countdown of Debra's 996 "Fucks". Beware, there could be spoilers within.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiH_VK4HDNc

 

 

 

 

[editorgrrl]

So's the kids know what we're talking about, here's an old Parkay margarine commercial :

 

And here's Chiffon margarine:

http://youtu.be/sxPY0BbrnjY

 

The voiceover is Mason Adams, best known as the guy who said "With a name like Smucker's, it has to be good":

[kikismom]

 I'm strictly anti margarine now, only real butter.

 

[Nashville]

At my grandmother's it was also commode and oleo. 

No refrigerator or fridge, though, it was the icebox. 

And I never heard the word "lunch" until I started going to school; our three meals were breakfast, dinner and supper.

[Nashville]

Debra Morgan, from the show "Dexter." If you haven't watched this series, I really must insist you do so asap.

 

In the meantime, here's a countdown of Debra's 996 "Fucks". Beware, there could be spoilers within.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiH_VK4HDNc

 

How the hell did this guy ever work a job?

Regardless - his brain should be bronzed.

[kikismom]

We didn't have a cafeteria; we walked home for "lunch" and walked back to school after. At least the food was better.

[walnutqueen]

I got sent home with a nasty note to my Mom for including a thermos of coffee in my lunchbox when I was in 1st grade.  (Hey, it was weak and had  lot of milk & sugar!).  She told them where they could stick their note and their opinions.  :-)

[GreyBunny]

Debra Morgan:  The Woman of a Thousand Fucks.

[AngelaHunter]

Debra Morgan:  The Woman of a Thousand Fucks.

 

Sadly, she was short by four fucks. We were all disappointed.

 

How the hell did this guy ever work a job?

 

No kidding. I make little videos myself and know how long it takes. I can't imagine the length of time it took this guy to go through all the seasons and clip out every "fuck". That's dedication.

[kikismom]

I got sent home with a nasty note to my Mom for including a thermos of coffee in my lunchbox when I was in 1st grade.  (Hey, it was weak and had  lot of milk & sugar!).  She told them where they could stick their note and their opinions.  :-)

Hey good for your mom!

When we had to do an oral report in 5th grade English class, I brought in beer I made at home (grandpa showed me how.)  I told everyone how to make your own and I gave out beer in plastic cups. MY teacher gave me A+. (She had like 3 solo cups worth). She always let us play poker for money if we had our homework done and I got to have my roulette wheel that Daddy brought me back from Puerto Rico.

If you brought in a thermos of coffee she would have added a couple shots from the bottle in her "supply cupboard" and split it with you. Don't ask, don't tell.

Edited December 16, 2014 by kikismom

[magpye29]

Fuckingpassword

[AngelaHunter]

DId  someone mention butter? Love of my life. As Emeril Lagasse says, "Butter makes us happy!" Amen to that.

[Nashville]

Sadly, she was short by four fucks. We were all disappointed.

 

I can't fault Debra.  I can't count how many times I've come up a day late and four fucks short.

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

I can't fault Debra.  I can't count how many times I've come up a day late and four fucks short.

 

Story of my life.

 

I'm hoping Santa will bring me this:

 

[CarpeDiem54]

I've got to figure out how to work "filet o' fuck" into a conversation.

[ghoulina]

When we had to do an oral report in 5th grade English class, I brought in beer I made at home (grandpa showed me how.)  I told everyone how to make your own and I gave out beer in plastic cups. MY teacher gave me A+. (She had like 3 solo cups worth). She always let us play poker for money if we had our homework done and I got to have my roulette wheel that Daddy brought me back from Puerto Rico.

 

Are you sure you were going to school and not prison? LOL

[nachomama]

5th grade? /me clutches pearls

 

I did an oral report IN COLLEGE where I extoled the virtues of Hemp and passed around hemp paper (totally just a piece of art paper ripped out of sketch pad, not hemp at all) and I had scribbled all the notes down 5 minutes before class, about the government made hemp illegal so DuPont could make nylon yada yada, the speech was a big hit and I got an A but it was utter and complete bs. 

 

We lived 30 miles outside of town, looooong bus ride, when I was a kid so there was no going home for lunch but the kids taught me the words to Pink Floyd's The Wall as "we don't need sex education we don't need no birth control" so I'm like 5 singing that. Then they sent me to the school nurse for hearing check and I was the last lil kid sent back to class by my lonesome and my class had disappeared. ABDUCTED! Omg I freaked out, absolute panic set in that I didn't know where my teacher or classmates were. So I did the logical thing, threw myself on the ground and threw a fit. Couple teachers ran in and tried to calm me down. Guess where they were? Lunchroom...where was the lunchroom? Next door. I was not the brightest bulb. :D At church Mrs. Funk (yes her real name) was whispering to my mom "she's such a quiet child, I couldn't believe it" she was the principal's secretary. 

[Nashville]

I've got to figure out how to work "filet o' fuck" into a conversation.

If you've ever worked at a McDonald's, it should be easy.

[nachomama]

Oh of course I know Debra. I loved Dexter. Got a little weird for me when Debra was in love with him. But I enjoyed the fucktacularity.

[kikismom]

Are you sure you were going to school and not prison? LOL

Does Juvenile Work Farm count? :D

Those were the good old days, when teachers just wanted to drink with you and smoke weed with you (9th grade, our 2 algebra teachers) instead of sexting you and running off to Thailand with you or having your baby in prison and marrying you on 60 Minutes. Nostalgia is a precious thing.

 

At church Mrs. Funk (yes her real name) was whispering to my mom "she's such a quiet child, I couldn't believe it" she was the principal's secretary. 

Don't you love names like that? I can just imagine if we had a Mrs Funk.

We did have a Mr. Ball, and a Mr. Dick --- why anyone with names like that would choose teaching jr. high school is baffling.

My pediatrician was Dr. Childs, my surgeon was Dr. Slaughter (and he had an office with Dr. Butcher I kid you not). Our veterinarian was Dr. Fur.

Edited December 16, 2014 by kikismom

[walnutqueen]

I had Sister Mary Hortensius (3 years of Catholic girls' school).  And a dentist named Dr. Payne. 

[PunkyMouse]

My grandmother used to make me close my eyes and take a bite of toast with Imperial margarine. Then she would put a littke crown on my head and I thought it had magically appeared just like in the commercial.

Does anyone else listen to the Bob & Sheri radio show? They are syndicated nationally. Well, Sheri is a huge TWD fan and she and her kids made gingerbread zombies. She brought some to the studio and one of the guys mentions that one of the gingerbread zombies is missing a leg. She said "Oh, that's Bob." Cracked my shit up!

[walnutqueen]

Coolest grandma ever, PunkyMouse!  Zombie gingerbread men is brilliant, especially the Bob one.  :-)

[AngelaHunter]

We did have a Mr. Ball, and a Mr. Dick --- why anyone with names like that would choose teaching jr. high school is baffling.

 

In elementary school, we had a Miss Legg, Miss Foote, and Miss Scroggie - all maiden ladies of a certain age who looked just as you might imagine them.

[kikismom]

In elementary school, we had a Miss Legg, Miss Foote, and Miss Scroggie - all maiden ladies of a certain age who looked just as you might imagine them.

My mom's high school yearbook had the senior's photos in alphabetical order naturally; so next to each other were Margaret Spitz and Shirley Swetz,

[GreyBunny]

I thought Jennifer Carpenter was robbed of an Emmy.  Her portrayal of Deb was excellent the last few seasons. 

 

She should have gotten some award for playing a character who was in love with her adopted brother while in real life they were a newly divorced couple. (And didn't she break up with him because he cheated on her with a Dexter guest star?)  Yikes.

[AngelaHunter]

I thought Jennifer Carpenter was robbed of an Emmy.  Her portrayal of Deb was excellent the last few seasons.

 

Totally agree (although I thought her portrayal was great much earlier on) and it was infuriating to see her tossed aside and forgotten in season 8 because of Buck's raging, fanboy hard on for Yvonne Strahovski.

[Portia]

My pediatrician was Dr. Childs, my surgeon was Dr. Slaughter (and he had an office with Dr. Butcher I kid you not). Our veterinarian was Dr. Fur.

I know an optometrist who's named Dr. Lenz.

[kikismom]

Now that I think about it, my old vet's name would be great for a male stripper.

Wouldn't it look great on a marquee:

One Night Only! Magic Mike vs. Dr. Fur!

[kikismom]

Totally agree (although I thought her portrayal was great much earlier on) and it was infuriating to see her tossed aside and forgotten in season 8 because of Buck's raging, fanboy hard on for Yvonne Strahovski.

.Don't you mean:

"for Yvonne Stahovski which never would have happened in the mid-season finale--Coda--of The Walking Dead."

 

Somebody attach these great posts to topic! The walls have ears!