S06.E13: Sorry Not Sorry

[Rhetorica]

How do you know that Nic doesn't have a clue what the words, "I love you" mean when he says them and that he cannot connect the feelings he has for his mother and father? Yes, there is a rote element of initially teaching any child to say I love you. The child eventually puts it together. And many autistic children do this as well. Every autistic child is different and unless they have personally worked with this child, they are in no position to make claims about his autism. Autistic children can love just as deeply as someone who is not autistic. And many of them can also feel joy.

My daughter works with Special Needs kids and bless anyone who does. I volunteer at her school often and some of the Autistic children give me a hug every time I come in. I'm not sure if they remember me or the just like to see people. But they definitely show enjoyment.

[Satchels of gold]

Nick is still relearning HOW to say words and short sentences. Like a baby/toddler just learning to talk, he does not know what the words mean as of yet. The hope is that 1 day he will remember what they mean or again learn what they mean. You can NOT think in terms of his current physical age and how he should know what love, mommy, daddy, CJ, Ashley, morning, night, sleep....whatever means, because developmentally he is at a very young toddler stage. And although I am sure that Chris and Jac know that Nick does not know the meaning of "I love you", hearing him say it may be enough to evoke the memories THEY have when he did know, to hold them over until he does again. They also feared Nick would NEVER be able to even say those words just a year or 2 ago so, although the meaning/emotion is not there YET, he is now in the race!

,,

To me, the best scene of last season was when Jac walked into the house, after having been gone for some type of plastic surgery. When Nicholas saw her her ran to her with the biggest smile on his face and 1000 watt smile. I pray someday he can connect that emotion with the words.

[jaync]

Didn't VG say she was in the hospital when Rino supposedly dropped the motherfucker bomb? Maybe she was hopped up on painkillers and really didn't know what the hell she heard.

 

I couldn't care less if their anger is warranted or not, I'm just looking forward to Twin Teresa and Nicole going off on Felon Teresa. Clink, clink!

[qtpye]

I would love to see someone try to go off on Victoria Gotti.  That woman is scary and it is not just because of her name.  She looks like a huge ugly man in drag.  She is probably very disappointed, as she thought this "bombshell" would really put her name back out in the reality T.V. circuit.  Instead, nobody cares about the rumor and this season of NJ has been as exciting as watching paint dry.

[WireWrap]

Didn't VG say she was in the hospital when Rino supposedly dropped the motherfucker bomb? Maybe she was hopped up on painkillers and really didn't know what the hell she heard.

 

I couldn't care less if their anger is warranted or not, I'm just looking forward to Twin Teresa and Nicole going off on Felon Teresa. Clink, clink!

 

I don't think she was in the hospital when he dropped that bomb, I remember her saying there were other people around when he did that. VG said that Rino bought her gifts, including a Rolex watch when she was in the hospital, she said she returned it or did not accept it though.

 

I would love to see someone try to go off on Victoria Gotti.  That woman is scary and it is not just because of her name.  She looks like a huge ugly man in drag.  She is probably very disappointed, as she thought this "bombshell" would really put her name back out in the reality T.V. circuit.  Instead, nobody cares about the rumor and this season of NJ has been as exciting as watching paint dry.

 

It is funny that VG now claims she was "setup" by Teresa and Amber! How did Amber set her up, they did not know each other before that sit down. Teresa is the one that used VG to make viewers talk about someone/something other than her criminal charges/plea deal. I am not buying that VG did not realize that this was what Teresa was up to in the first place either, I think VG told Teresa this "story" BEFORE filming began and Teresa told the producers about it. Teresa would see that story as a win-win for herself, she can make someone else look worse than her PLUS her hands are clean because VG told the story, not Teresa. JMO

[hottesthw]

I don't think she was in the hospital when he dropped that bomb, I remember her saying there were other people around when he did that. VG said that Rino bought her gifts, including a Rolex watch when she was in the hospital, she said she returned it or did not accept it though.

It is funny that VG now claims she was "setup" by Teresa and Amber! How did Amber set her up, they did not know each other before that sit down. Teresa is the one that used VG to make viewers talk about someone/something other than her criminal charges/plea deal. I am not buying that VG did not realize that this was what Teresa was up to in the first place either, I think VG told Teresa this "story" BEFORE filming began and Teresa told the producers about it. Teresa would see that story as a win-win for herself, she can make someone else look worse than her PLUS her hands are clean because VG told the story, not Teresa. JMO

I for one refuse to give Theresa so much credit. So now we're supposed to believe this idiot, with all the shit she's got going on in her life, set up a time to meet with and get a story from VG, then pass it along to the producers, and then work with them to set up a shoot to get it all on film? All over people she hardly even knows? Nahhhh, I don't think the viewers or production crew care that much about Theresa.

[WireWrap]

I for one refuse to give Theresa so much credit. So now we're supposed to believe this idiot, with all the shit she's got going on in her life, set up a time to meet with and get a story from VG, then pass it along to the producers, and then work with them to set up a shoot to get it all on film? All over people she hardly even knows? Nahhhh, I don't think the viewers or production crew care that much about Theresa.

Teresa and VG are friends off the show. They met on CA and kept in contact, especially after the indictments, both have spoken about it. The producers LOVE it when any of the cast bring them rumors/gossip about the others and they tend to pounce on the most outrageous ones. They ALL find out as much as they can about the newbies BEFORE filming begins and the court date for Teresa was not all that close then, this would have been well before her Plea Deal as well. Teresa is smarter than she portrays herself to be on the show, she has street smarts and is VERY media savvy.

 

Each HW is assigned a producer of their own and that producer "helps" them before filming begins and during filming. I have no doubts that Teresa gave the producers the info before filming and they used it to try and make Teresa look less nasty and more sympathetic. It worked for a while, people blamed Amber MORE and even Dina more than they did VG or Teresa. It was Teresa that brought Amber too VG house for that sit down and then it was Teresa that put it out there that she did NOT trust Amber AFTERWARDS! Follow the connections and all roads lead back to Teresa and Teresa only! JMO

Edited October 19, 2014 by WireWrap

[SFoster21]

It's a tempest in a teapot no matter who it leads to.

[hottesthw]

Teresa is smarter than she portrays herself It worked for a while, people blamed Amber MORE and even Dina more than they did VG or Teresa. It was Teresa that brought Amber too VG house for that sit down and then it was Teresa that put it out there that she did NOT trust Amber AFTERWARDS! Follow the connections and all roads lead back to Teresa and Teresa only! JMO

Except that's not what happened on the show. VG went to the signing on her own as did Amber. VG invited them both over her house and after contemplating they both accepted. Once there she brought up the twins because Amber was friends with them and she wanted her opinion on the story (which Amber willingly listened to).

Based on Amber's own words she drove herself to VGs house and got up and left without Theresa at the end. So I'm not sure how any of this is proof that Theresa set up the meeting and then dragged Amber kicking and screaming to the sit down. As for trustworthiness, again based on the show, amber proved early on she was not one to be trusted.

[ginger90]

If I recall correctly, one of the most mentioned things initially about Nicholas was the fact that he had regressed. Jacqueline remarked on how he didn't say "I love you" any more. So, I'm going to assume what is making it to air is showing her trying to recapture that.

[WireWrap]

Except that's not what happened on the show. VG went to the signing on her own as did Amber. VG invited them both over her house and after contemplating they both accepted. Once there she brought up the twins because Amber was friends with them and she wanted her opinion on the story (which Amber willingly listened to).

Based on Amber's own words she drove herself to VGs house and got up and left without Theresa at the end. So I'm not sure how any of this is proof that Theresa set up the meeting and then dragged Amber kicking and screaming to the sit down. As for trustworthiness, again based on the show, amber proved early on she was not one to be trusted.

  Amber was NOT friends with the twins at this point, they already had the hair pulling fight! So WHO told VG that Amber and the twins were friends? Teresa! Maybe that is what Teresa was referring to in her interview when she said that VG asked her to bring Amber and that she TOOK Amber to VG. Oh, and I never said that Teresa "dragged Amber kicking and screaming" anywhere.

 

Wait, how was Amber the one that was "untrustworthy"? ( and I do not like Amber, the twins, or Dina/Teresa) She did NOT reveal that secret to anyone else except her husband, which most married women would do, and he was the one that blabbed it, unlike 99% of most husbands though. Now Teresa was seen talking about it to Dina ON camera twice, the second time because she "feared Amber would twist it". How would Amber twist it OR was Teresa afraid for the twins to find out that she was the catalyst for this story being brought up on camera herself? Without Teresa bringing VG on the show as HER friend, this would not have been heard on camera. I still believe that it was Teresa who alerted HER producer to the rumor BEFORE filming began! I see so many similarities between Teresa using JTG/Penny and Kim D to go after Melissa and Jac as this, Teresa using VG to make others look worse than her. Even VG is saying that Teresa set her up and used her, although she also blames Amber of doing the same thing which puzzles me because they have NO history/friendship with each other off camera whereas VG and Teresa do..

If I recall correctly, one of the most mentioned things initially about Nicholas was the fact that he had regressed. Jacqueline remarked on how he didn't say "I love you" any more. So, I'm going to assume what is making it to air is showing her trying to recapture that.

 I could  not even begin to imagine the pain of your child never saying that again, no matter why it happened! I hope that 1 day he understands what he is saying and why!

[Marigold]

Because this is my field of work...and I do not know Nick even though I live in NJ! ButI have worked with children with autism for over 20 years. I'd like to throw out some thoughts. 

 

Children with autism often have a few speech and language issues going on

 

One is the actual language issue.  Does Nick understand language (meaning the actual words) and respond to those words?  Jac said he lost skills and was often unresponsive to words.  The ability to understand words is absent.

 

Second, it the child is not understanding words, it's very difficult to talk.  If you don't have a word for a cup in your mind, it's gonna be very hard to ask for a cup. They recognize the object "cup" but have no word representation in their mind. They will often just go get a cup and not verbally ask.  Temple Grandin, who is an adult with autism and has her PhD says she "thinks in pictures."  Making that switch for pictures to words is hard for a child with austim. 

 

Third, and often the biggest issue is that many children with autism have a motor speech disorder on top of the other complex delays in speech/language development. Many have apraxia (which is an inability to produce accuarate sounds). They can make sounds spontaneously when they play but when it comes to actually stringing sounds together to make words and sentences, things fall apart. It is believed to have a neurological basis but who really knows?

 

An we all know that children with autism often have difficulty relating to people. 

 

So, with Nick, is it a language issue or a motor speech issue?  or both? Or a social emotional issue?

 

We know Nick loves his family. His therapist or teacher possibly working on "i love you" might be trying to give him the words for the picture in his head or she might be working on the actual motor production of speech. Or encouraging him to emotionally connect. I'm sure they are working on other things too. 

 

Jac is a nutcase who appears to be very unstable. I don't care for her.

But working on I love you is just such a normal kid thing. As a therapist, a family with a child with autism has had their entire world turned upside down.  To give the family that one phrase...that is a joy in my job. Helping a child put words to what he feels?  So important!

There are sometimes up to 40 hours of therapy doing simple things like cup, ball, give me, potty, juice. Over and over until the words are learned. Therapy for a child with autism is very intense and we do see that Jac is trying everything she can. 

It's one phrase that makes everyone feel "normal".  Therapists teach fun things too!

 

Maybe because Jac is a wacko or it's a bad edit, it comes off badly, but I promise you, I teach that phrase and it's no dog and pony show or a trick.  It's simply real life and trying to help a child and family have a nromal and non autism moment.  

Edited October 19, 2014 by Marigold

[hottesthw]

Watching the scene with amber and her tiny husband in the barn will never not make me laugh. She talks endlessly about her faith, yet can't make the sign of the cross properly. Now she's going on like she's some hero to breast cancer survivors when she can't even say the word "mass-ectomy" correctly. These two need to give it up and go away.

[jinjer]

Teresa is acquaintances with V.G.  If you follow her on instagram, they are rarely if ever together.  The tabloids last march or April were reporting that production was pissed that Teresa was so boring that production brought in VG.  Who knows what is true.

 

BUT once VG said the rumor on camera, all bets were off IMO.  Anyone could tell anybody at that point because in 6 months all of the viewers were going to see it anyway.  Also, I don't think either Amber or Teresa told people in a salacious or gossipy way.  Jim was the big mouth and Dina I don't know WTF was her deal - wanting to be in on the action or looking like she was "in the know."  But those twins have really only one person to be mad at - the one who said it on camera.  All this ethical dilemma stuff doesn't apply once you sign onto a filmed reality show.  The cat's out of the bag once it's caught on camera.

 

And I totally believe those twins knew it was coming out in Fl.  Teressssa tried to prevent it with her, "I don't want to know."  But their reactions once it did come out?  They had heard that rumor before and weren't shocked by the allegations.

[mwell345]

 

But those twins have really only one person to be mad at - the one who said it on camera.

 

And they should also be angry with the person who told VG to begin with. That would be Rino, unless VG made it up completely.  In that case, they can circle back to her. They can also be angry at Jim for blurting it out in Florida.

 

As much as I dislike Amber, I do believe she told only Jim (a mistake, but understandable, he's her husband).  And she later told him she was not going to bring it up in Florida, and he also told her not to.  I believe Teresa told Dina because she thought it MIGHT come up in Florida.  Dina told no one.

 

And they should be angry at  whoever in production thought this was something that should air especially when the father in law may not have known about it, their kids probably didn't know about it, etc. 

 

Maybe Andy can get to the bottom of this at the reunion, if he can pretend to be interested long enough.  My question would be: Did Rino tell VG?  If he did, why did he tell her such a thing?  What was the point?   Teressa, Nicole,  are you at all angry at Rino for bringing this on your family?

 

For starters.

[Satchels of gold]

Ever since Joyce from BH said that Yolanda kept yelling " cut" during a scene together, it's pretty obvious they are ways to avoid things being on camera, if you so choose. No one chose that. FWIW I totally believe the Rino story. All of their denials were worked awkwardly. I don't do Twitter or follow on facebook so maybe they flat out issued a denial ,but on the show it was never a flat denial. It was statements like " that's ludicrous". Yes it is ludicrous to sleep with your mother in law, but did he do it? I have to back Rino because he hates wee Jim so by default he's my man!

[motorcitymom65]

Ever since Joyce from BH said that Yolanda kept yelling " cut" during a scene together, it's pretty obvious they are ways to avoid things being on camera, if you so choose. No one chose that. FWIW I totally believe the Rino story. All of their denials were worked awkwardly. I don't do Twitter or follow on facebook so maybe they flat out issued a denial ,but on the show it was never a flat denial. It was statements like " that's ludicrous". Yes it is ludicrous to sleep with your mother in law, but did he do it? I have to back Rino because he hates wee Jim so by default he's my man!

The denials became a bit more forceful on social media and in interviews, but I am unclear as to what is being denied. The rumor being true, or the fact that Rino told VG the rumor? The twins were so silly on WWHL when Andy talked about VG passing a lie detector test. They deflected and turned it into other things that VG has lied about.  

 

VG has indicated in interviews that she was "tricked" into revealing the rumor, which makes no sense to me.  How could you be tricked into saying something like that on camera and think that folks weren't going to be pissed? She acts like she is truly surprised by the negative reaction, which is just silly. 

 

I don't think Teresa has any real culpability here, except in her defense of VG. I rewatched the Season Finale and she said to the twin that VG wasn't trying to be mean or spread gossip, but was just repeating a story. She acted like doing so was just no big deal and should not cause offense. She also defended VG in her blog, saying that the only reason she brought it up was because she hoped that Amber would tell her it wasn't true. How would Amber know it wasn't true? 

[jinjer]

How can she say she was tricked?  She sat there calm as day and just stated the rumor.  She's full of it.

[Higgins]

Because this is my field of work...and I do not know Nick even though I live in NJ! ButI have worked with children with autism for over 20 years. I'd like to throw out some thoughts. 

 

Children with autism often have a few speech and language issues going on

 

One is the actual language issue.  Does Nick understand language (meaning the actual words) and respond to those words?  Jac said he lost skills and was often unresponsive to words.  The ability to understand words is absent.

 

Second, it the child is not understanding words, it's very difficult to talk.  If you don't have a word for a cup in your mind, it's gonna be very hard to ask for a cup. They recognize the object "cup" but have no word representation in their mind. They will often just go get a cup and not verbally ask.  Temple Grandin, who is an adult with autism and has her PhD says she "thinks in pictures."  Making that switch for pictures to words is hard for a child with austim. 

 

Third, and often the biggest issue is that many children with autism have a motor speech disorder on top of the other complex delays in speech/language development. Many have apraxia (which is an inability to produce accuarate sounds). They can make sounds spontaneously when they play but when it comes to actually stringing sounds together to make words and sentences, things fall apart. It is believed to have a neurological basis but who really knows?

 

An we all know that children with autism often have difficulty relating to people. 

 

So, with Nick, is it a language issue or a motor speech issue?  or both? Or a social emotional issue?

 

We know Nick loves his family. His therapist or teacher possibly working on "i love you" might be trying to give him the words for the picture in his head or she might be working on the actual motor production of speech. Or encouraging him to emotionally connect. I'm sure they are working on other things too. 

 

Jac is a nutcase who appears to be very unstable. I don't care for her.

But working on I love you is just such a normal kid thing. As a therapist, a family with a child with autism has had their entire world turned upside down.  To give the family that one phrase...that is a joy in my job. Helping a child put words to what he feels?  So important!

There are sometimes up to 40 hours of therapy doing simple things like cup, ball, give me, potty, juice. Over and over until the words are learned. Therapy for a child with autism is very intense and we do see that Jac is trying everything she can. 

It's one phrase that makes everyone feel "normal".  Therapists teach fun things too!

 

Maybe because Jac is a wacko or it's a bad edit, it comes off badly, but I promise you, I teach that phrase and it's no dog and pony show or a trick.  It's simply real life and trying to help a child and family have a nromal and non autism moment.  

The dog and pony show comes when they try and make him do it for the cameras.