S07.E22: Tell All, Part 3

[TwirlyGirly]

On part 3 of the Before the 90 Days Tell All, Veah comes under fire for her decision to bring Rory, Faith struggles to put a label on her and Loren's relationship, and Vanja reveals a shocking betrayal.

➡️Air date: 1/26/2025

CHEAT SHEET 

Season 7 Couples: Names and Locations

(Can't remember who's who? See the topic for S07.E01: Great Expectations for photos of each couple)

Tigerlily, (Texas) & Adnan, (Jordan) 

Rayne, (New Mexico) & Chidi, (Nigeria) 

Loren, (Nevada) & Faith, (Philippines)

Niles, (Alabama) & Matilda, (Ghana) 

Joe, (Florida) & Magda, (Poland) 

Brian, (Illinois) & Ingrid, (Brazil) 

Veah, (Florida) & Sunny (South Africa)

Vanja, (Florida) & Božo, (Croatia)

[surfgirl]

Sweet baby Jesus. When will this shite end?!?

[TwirlyGirly]

3 hours ago, surfgirl said:

Sweet baby Jesus. When will this shite end?!?

Do you really want to know? 

Spoiler

There's going to be a Part 4, at least.

 

Edited January 22 by TwirlyGirly
Corrected spoiler

[Pepper Mostly]

Sorry peeps, won't make chat tonight, Mom-sitting! Snark on!

[Joan van Snark]

OMG Matilda PLEASE remain in Ghana.  Do not come to America and hitch your wagon to this rude, blowhard, epic lying asshole named Niles!  Not to mention the fact he is also a total dweeb.  I can only imagine the life of pain and embarrassment he would cause her.  I can easily see why he gets fired.

[Kath94]

Niles did seem to blow up rather quickly on issues that didn't concern him, didn't he?  Wow!

[Tango64]

Niles during the season: I'm just a nice, pleasant, meek fellow who finds the world a bit overstimulating sometimes.

Niles during the first Tell All: Hey, I'm a man and I'm going to stand up for what's right. There, I said it. I hope that's okay.

Niles in the latest Tell All: I AM FURY ITSELF AND NO ONE SHALL CHALLENGE ME OR THOSE I DEEM WORTHY OF MY UNWAVERING DEVOTION AND PROTECTION! C'MON! BRING IT! I WILL SPILL BLOOD RIGHT HERE IN THIS  STUDIO AND SHAUN ROBINSON CAN'T STOP ME!

 

[surfgirl]

I am going to say it, I am leaning towards Boscko telling more truth than Vanya. Why, you ask? Because everytime Bosco talks about his child he refers to him as "my son", yet every tine Vanya talks about his child she says "the kid", which sounds very cold, very dismissive, and very put out. Every tine she has said this I cringe and wonder why she can't say "your son, his son", etc. The way she spoke about rearranging her extra room for "the kid" sounded like she was a bit put out Bout it but was doing it for the Big D. I would have been put off too were I a single dad.

None of the above excuses this d-bag from filming them having sex, or telling the world he was SO BIG that they could only do it a couple of ways. I mean, he deserved to get dragged for all of that.

ETA: Im all in on Niles hosting this shit show. At least he is telling it like it is.

Edited Monday at 07:36 PM by surfgirl

[1011101010001]

14 hours ago, Joan van Snark said:

OMG Matilda PLEASE remain in Ghana.  Do not come to America and hitch your wagon to this rude, blowhard, epic lying asshole named Niles!  Not to mention the fact he is also a total dweeb.  I can only imagine the life of pain and embarrassment he would cause her.  I can easily see why he gets fired.

Weird his new job is in state government.  But maybe in Alabama nuttiness is allowed like putting the Ten Commandments in public schools.

2 minutes ago, surfgirl said:

None of the above excuses this d-bag from filming them having sex

That was wrong but he immediately told her and immediately deleted it so not sure what all the tears were about months later.  Also when she said she likes herself as she is and doesn’t need to improve in any areas that just seals the deal for future failed relationships.  She is insanely clingy and needy.

[surfgirl]

1 minute ago, 1011101010001 said:

Weird his new job is in state government.  

What is 'weird' to you about an autistic man being hired to be a peer advocate for other people on the spectrum? That's a beautiful thing in my book. He is helping others like him navigate a world that discriminates against people like him. 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/90-day-fiances-niles-valentine-job-what-he-does-for-a-living/

[1011101010001]

16 minutes ago, surfgirl said:

What is 'weird' to you about an autistic man being hired to be a peer advocate for other people on the spectrum? That's a beautiful thing in my book. He is helping others like him navigate a world that discriminates against people like him. 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/90-day-fiances-niles-valentine-job-what-he-does-for-a-living/

I meant when he comes off as so unhinged and opinionated on the Tell All.  Obviously it’s an important job they just might want to fill it with someone else.

It seems like Miss Debbie he was trying to get maximum attention perhaps with hopes of getting another season like she did.

[Tango64]

18 minutes ago, 1011101010001 said:

That was wrong but he immediately told her and immediately deleted it so not sure what all the tears were about months later.

I thought the same thing. He was wrong, very wrong, to record without her knowledge and consent. But he told her right away, deleted it right away, apologized profusely, and doesn't deny it now. No one ever knew about it but the two of them and the recording is gone. It was only between them but Vanja and the others acted as if he had put it on PornHub.

 

[Shrek]

7 minutes ago, 1011101010001 said:

I meant when he comes off as so unhinged and opinionated on the Tell All.  Obviously it’s an important job they just might want to fill it with someone else.

 

Unhinged? I get opinionated just like the majority of people, surely he's allowed an opinion, or maybe not. Do you think he should just sit the & keep his mouth shut rather than give his opinion? I'm guessing that adman knows or has been told by tigersilly not to wind him up because of him being on the spectrum & he's taken what she's said & done the exact opposite just to get Niles upset. 

But unhinged? That's ridiculous to say, he didn't do anything that would say to me he's unhinged. 

[surfgirl]

8 minutes ago, 1011101010001 said:

I meant when he comes off as so unhinged and opinionated on the Tell All.  Obviously it’s an important job they just might want to fill it with someone else.

It seems like Miss Debbie he was trying to get maximum attention perhaps with hopes of getting another season like she did.

I'm confused as to why so many people here do not understand that being on the spectrum means that one does not always react to situations in the same way non-austistic people would. I have some folks in my family that are on the spectrum in various degrees, one of whom you would not 'know it' to look at him or bump into him on the street. However, he will at best have to live in a halfway home for life after his mother passes, because he is incapable of functioning in the world as it is. Niles is working for and with people like this, to try to help them navigate getting jobs that they can actually handle. And for that, I applaud him. He may function at a higher level, making him 'look more normal' as it were, but clearly from how he reacted to Adnan's taunting, and other people's stories at the Tell Nothing, you are not seeing someone 'unhinged', you are seeing someone with autism trying to react to a very stressful situation. Empathy is a good thing.

[1011101010001]

6 minutes ago, Shrek said:

Unhinged? I get opinionated just like the majority of people, surely he's allowed an opinion, or maybe not. Do you think he should just sit the & keep his mouth shut rather than give his opinion? I'm guessing that adman knows or has been told by tigersilly not to wind him up because of him being on the spectrum & he's taken what she's said & done the exact opposite just to get Niles upset. 

But unhinged? That's ridiculous to say, he didn't do anything that would say to me he's unhinged. 

Standing up, shouting, eyes bugging out, threatening by saying you better not meet me on the street lol?  What is your definition of unhinged?

7 minutes ago, surfgirl said:

I'm confused as to why so many people here do not understand that being on the spectrum means that one does not always react to situations in the same way non-austistic people would. I have some folks in my family that are on the spectrum in various degrees, one of whom you would not 'know it' to look at him or bump into him on the street. However, he will at best have to live in a halfway home for life after his mother passes, because he is incapable of functioning in the world as it is. Niles is working for and with people like this, to try to help them navigate getting jobs that they can actually handle. And for that, I applaud him. He may function at a higher level, making him 'look more normal' as it were, but clearly from how he reacted to Adnan's taunting, and other people's stories at the Tell Nothing, you are not seeing someone 'unhinged', you are seeing someone with autism trying to react to a very stressful situation. Empathy is a good thing.

We understand it but it doesn’t give carte blanche for bad behavior.  If he physically attacks Adnan like he was threatening autism is not a defense and he can go to prison.

[Shrek]

39 minutes ago, 1011101010001 said:

Standing up, shouting, eyes bugging out, threatening by saying you better not meet me on the street lol?  What is your definition of unhinged?

 

An unhinged person might have actually given adman the beating he was asking for on national tv & if he acts like that on the streets in most places he won't last long.

Niles has ways of coping with stress that might seem unhinged to you, but they are not even close to unhinged for anyone who has spent time in the outside world. It's his way of coping with an idiot like adman whereas most people would have given him the smack he was asking for.

Grangela is the most unhinged person there has ever been on this show & Niles isn't even close to being comparable to her. 

We'll just have to disagree about what constitutes being unhinged & leave it at that.

Edited Monday at 08:58 PM by Shrek

[kirklandia]

9 hours ago, surfgirl said:

What is 'weird' to you about an autistic man being hired to be a peer advocate for other people on the spectrum? That's a beautiful thing in my book. He is helping others like him navigate a world that discriminates against people like him. 

I hope that the position Niles holds is safe from the current DEI backlash. So many people who do important work are losing their jobs right now.

Edited Yest. at 05:09 AM by kirklandia

[Alapaki]

I wish Shawn would do her job and ask real questions.  Then the cast wouldn't have the chance to showboat.  I do think Niles came across as a bit of an asshole, though.  He needs someone to remind him to calibrate.

As far as Vanya goes, I think we've seen her mischaracterize the contents of conversations and interactions this season.  So I don't doubt that she and Joszco had a conversation of filming themselves in which he perceived getting the green-light.  It doesn't seem to have been something covert, otherwise he wouldn't have shown her immediately afterwards.  And I don't see as such an invasion of privacy if he had no intention of ever sharing it.  Although I do wish someone (*ahem* Shawn) would've asked if that experience didn't make Bozo's approach look better.

Frankly, I think Vanya is pushing hard for Single Life.  

[Back Atcha]

8 hours ago, surfgirl said:

He may function at a higher level, making him 'look more normal' as it were, but clearly from how he reacted to Adnan's taunting, and other people's stories at the Tell Nothing, you are not seeing someone 'unhinged', you are seeing someone with autism trying to react to a very stressful situation. Empathy is a good thing.

Thank you, Surfgirl.  I wonder WHY no one in Production...or no one with the right  experience was hired for this particular "Tell All" series.  Niles was given no special accommodation...and even Shaun seemed to goad on him and  Adnan.

I don't know WHO thought this was good TV, but not only is there no EMPATHY here ... it's either ignorance or hatefulness.  I hope we've seen the end of the dangerous (televised) behavior.  WHY are no other posters writing with concern about Niles' autism...except to question it? 

8 hours ago, 1011101010001 said:

We understand it but it doesn’t give carte blanche for bad behavior.  If he physically attacks Adnan like he was threatening autism is not a defense and he can go to prison.

This should have been stopped by Production before it got as far as it did ... and it should NOT have been filmed.   I know these shows are exploitive, but this was too much.  Are we sure that "autism is not a defense"?

Edited Yest. at 04:21 AM by Back Atcha

[1011101010001]

21 minutes ago, Back Atcha said:

Are we sure that "autism is not a defense"?

It’s not a defense to a conviction but it can mitigate the length of the sentence:

No, autism alone is not considered a legal defense against a battery charge; while it can be considered a mitigating factor in some situations, the law generally does not view autism as an excuse for committing a criminal act, as it does not negate the ability to understand the wrongfulness of one's actions in most cases.

[surfgirl]

1 hour ago, Back Atcha said:

Thank you, Surfgirl.  I wonder WHY no one in Production...or no one with the right  experience was hired for this particular "Tell All" series.  Niles was given no special accommodation...and even Shaun seemed to goad on him and  Adnan.

I don't know WHO thought this was good TV, but not only is there no EMPATHY here ... it's either ignorance or hatefulness.  I hope we've seen the end of the dangerous (televised) behavior.  WHY are no other posters writing with concern about Niles' autism...except to question it? 

This should have been stopped by Production before it got as far as it did ... and it should NOT have been filmed.   I know these shows are exploitive, but this was too much.  Are we sure that "autism is not a defense"?

Thank YOU as well for stating the above so compassionately. You are 💯% correct, the taunting Adnan was doing should have been shut down immediately and he should have been escorted from the building without pay. Period end of story. IMO Shawn ought to be ashamed of herself for participating in this nonsense

[Back Atcha]

59 minutes ago, 1011101010001 said:

No, autism alone

Thanks, 1011101010001, I should have been precise...I didn't mean "autism alone." I think it was a big mistake for this program to select Niles without more references to his syndrome AND assistants to help him. Far-away Matilda shouldn't be his only source.

I'm not a professional or even a current volunteer, but decades ago I had minor experience with kids on the spectrum--even before we said "spectrum" or had adequate help in our schools.

1 minute ago, surfgirl said:

IMO Shawn ought to be ashamed of herself for participating in this nonsense

Was she required to play the part of the Mean Girl? For years there have been complaints about her lack of knowledge of the shows where she led "telling all."  There is a vast community supporting kids/adults on the spectrum.  I hope the word gets out to them so there's some "organized" response.  I'm just an old woman who helped in classrooms and a school for (actually) "r******* children," learning by experience...and luckily, born with sympathy, empathy, and common sense.

AND...that program also needs more explanation about the culture of Adnan's country and religion.  He shouldn't be allowed to SCREAM at Sunny about his (Adnan's) personal Allah.  He's in America now and he's no longer in charge of anyone but himself.

[surfgirl]

Niles' parents should also be ashamed thst they did not support their son during such an important time in his life. Frankly, I would be proud to have a son like Niles. He has worked very hard to create a life for himself that contains all the elements that non-autistic people have, and he's done it in a way that I think gives hope snd empowerment and agency to other people on the spectrum, so kudos to him. He and Mathilda will be just fine.

[Alapaki]

8 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

I think it was a big mistake for this program to select Niles without more references to his syndrome AND assistants to help him. Far-away Matilda shouldn't be his only source.

I don't think the show hid Niles' syndrome.  But I agree that they should have provided some support for the Tell-All.  They provide interpreters for cast members who don't speak English, which is a way of facilitating their interaction with the rest of the cast.  Why couldn't they allow/suggest that Niles have someone there with him to assist in his interactions?  He doesn't seem to need that in everyday life, but the show knows that the Tell-All is not everyday life and is designed to be provocative and triggering.

As far as Niles' aggressiveness, I don't get the sense that he would actually get physically with anyone; I think that more bluster than anything else.  I think the risk for Niles is that he tries that bluster out on the wrong person.

Also, I agree that someone should have shut Adnan down.  Frankly it's disappointing that no one on the cast did (unless they did and it was edited out).

[Back Atcha]

4 hours ago, Alapaki said:

As far as Niles' aggressiveness, I don't get the sense that he would actually get physically with anyone; I think that more bluster than anything else.  I think the risk for Niles is that he tries that bluster out on the wrong person.

(My bolding)  You're so right. Too often, disabled people are beaten  or killed for much less.  Maybe Niles is mimicking "successful" responses he's seen.  Matilda may have some control over her husband...but not those he encounters.  I'll worry.

4 hours ago, Alapaki said:

Also, I agree that someone should have shut Adnan down.  Frankly it's disappointing that no one on the cast did (unless they did and it was edited out).

His behavior on the set isn't going to be accepted for very long in most areas of Texas.  TigerLily seems savvy; I hope she talks sense to him privately.  Maybe his Texas mosque friends can ease him into more "American Muslim" behavior.

[bravofan27]

23 hours ago, Tango64 said:

I thought the same thing. He was wrong, very wrong, to record without her knowledge and consent. But he told her right away, deleted it right away, apologized profusely, and doesn't deny it now. No one ever knew about it but the two of them and the recording is gone. It was only between them but Vanja and the others acted as if he had put it on PornHub.

 

I think so too. Vanya said she only brought it up because he mentioned the "two positions" thing. She brought it up out of revenge to make him look bad. It obviously wasn't that big of a problem before, didn't change the way she thought of him, and wanted to continue their relationship. She first said the sex was great and connecting. Then changed her tune totally saying she wished she never had sex with him. 

Niles and his meltdowns are pretty consistent with autism symptoms. He can't regulate his emotions or calm down once he is emotional. 

[CrazyTrain]

19 hours ago, Alapaki said:

I wish Shawn would do her job and ask real questions.  Then the cast wouldn't have the chance to showboat.  I do think Niles came across as a bit of an asshole, though.  He needs someone to remind him to calibrate.

She is really bad at her job. I am not convinced she watches every episode or even any. I don't know why she is still doing this.

[goofygirl]

22 hours ago, CrazyTrain said:

She is really bad at her job. I am not convinced she watches every episode or even any. I don't know why she is still doing this.

Her fee for doing the "Tell-Alls" is next to nothing?