S05.E14: Be-hitched

[Scarlett45]

Kim gets sick right as the wedding festivities begin. Daniele and Yohan's arguments hit a new low. Holly and Wayne reflect on their wedding night. Even the neighbors can hear Brandan and Mary fighting.

Air Date: October 9, 2023

[Fable]

@Scarlett45

Thank you for giving us an episode thread.   I wanted to say something interesting or smart, but I was pretty bored.  

But, for the sake of making conversation...Holly seems like she is about 5 years old, Kimberly is batshit, Brandan and Mary are doomed and I have no words for Danielle.   

[IvySpice]

Kim earned my pity today. I can't imagine anything worse than waking up with Indian GI distress when I have to be on stage in front of a million strangers all day. I'll go back to disliking her tomorrow. Today, I wished she could just lie in bed and sip ginger ale.

[anoninrva]

53 minutes ago, IvySpice said:

Kim earned my pity today. I can't imagine anything worse than waking up with Indian GI distress when I have to be on stage in front of a million strangers all day. I'll go back to disliking her tomorrow. Today, I wished she could just lie in bed and sip ginger ale.

I was surprised that she didn't share her charming "I shat my pants" story with her father.  It does seem to be the highlight of the event so far.

I will say the henna art looked amazing.  I wish my tattoos looked that nice.

[anoninrva]

Mary comes across .. unfavorably.  Sure, he's a shiftless teenager, but what else is he going to do?  Farm rice?  I don't think either of them planned very well for what was going to happen when he got there other than sexy times.  And even that, they didn't plan well..

I know we're only really getting his side of the story, but the selective translation with her grandfather, her overall RBS, I don't know.  Spoilers aside, I'd agree that things do not bode well for that relationship.

[Scarlett45]

6 hours ago, anoninrva said:

Mary comes across .. unfavorably.  Sure, he's a shiftless teenager, but what else is he going to do?  Farm rice?  I don't think either of them planned very well for what was going to happen when he got there other than sexy times.  And even that, they didn't plan well..

I know we're only really getting his side of the story, but the selective translation with her grandfather, her overall RBS, I don't know.  Spoilers aside, I'd agree that things do not bode well for that relationship.

Brandon is 23, Mary is 22 - if they had all these plans why did none of them include gainful employment???!!! I think the grandparents are exhausted (which I understand) and thus are not setting requirements for living under their roof. I don’t quite buy that Brandon sent $60k for the house yet had no financial plan once he got there. Something sounds off (maybe a fake storyline). 

[libgirl2]

I also think her grandparents know how she is and just are tired if dealing with it.

[Mr. Miner]

It looks like they are blurring out EPT's on the second shelf of their little "store". They gross me out!

[Chalby]

I just finished watching the episode, and the issues between Brandon and Mary drive me crazy. Brandon is acting in a passive aggressive, manipulative way. By behaving poorly, Mary will tell him to go home. He actually wants to go home, but is worried how it will look to others. So by manipulating the situation (not being helpful or behaving angrily) Mary will tell him to go back to the USA, and Brandon can tell everybody she broke up with him and sent him home. He is so immature. 

[Chalby]

5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Brandon is 23, Mary is 22 - if they had all these plans why did none of them include gainful employment???!!!

Thank you for pointing this out. I didn't realize they were that old, because they're behaving like they are 14 years old. I got married at 23 (hubby 22) and there was no way I wouldn't be working or sorting things out, prior. Nobody should jump into becoming a couple, becoming pregnant, becoming married, etc if they can't even house/ support themselves. Maybe Brandon and Mary are doing all of this because they knew they would be on the show? So Brandon is laying around waiting for their paycheck? Are jobs that scarce that Mary, with her education, couldn't get a job somewhere? Her English is very good.

[Kath94]

What education?  She gave up a scholarship so she could FaceTime with Brandon 24/7!  

And who borrows $1000 to build a "store" if the anticipated return is $18/mo?  And buys supplies from another retail store?  I sure hope this is made up for the storyline.

[Quof]

Has any internet sleuth found evidence that Mary attended any post-secondary institution and/or that she was on a dance scholarship? The "dancing" she does on TikTok is not persuasive... 

[Chalby]

Does Danielle really believe she would have an American marriage with Johan where they share expenses, etc.?  She'd have her $ and he'd have his? Clearly she has said something different to him if he blatantly expects her to a) support him if they stay in the DR or b) get him to the States so he can make his own money. There's no way Johan married Danielle for her sweet personality and good looks. I truly believe she implied a working partnership, while dangling the option of a green card. I'm not surprised at his frustration.

[Chalby]

3 hours ago, Kath94 said:

What education?  She gave up a scholarship so she could FaceTime with Brandon 24/7!  

And who borrows $1000 to build a "store" if the anticipated return is $18/mo?  And buys supplies from another retail store?  I sure hope this is made up for the storyline.

I am assuming she has post elementary education if she was offered any kind of scholarship (though I do tend to doubt that bit of info). And I question if she really borrowed that much $ (unless it's not dollars). I just think Brandon and Mary are "playing" at marriage and neither has the maturity or common sense to do what's right. At first I thought Mary was this evil, controlling liar. But now I realize they both are not what they appear to be. Brandon's inability to be industrious is disappointing.

[Stuckathome]

I missed the first 15 mins or so....did we actually get footage of these horrible, embarrassing fights between the chucklefucks Mary and Brandan? Even though I am spoiled about the current status of these two morons, I am sort of delighting in her misery. She looks miserable and so does he, but again, what did they expect? No money, no education, language barrier moving to a country he can't legally work in at the moment. And to bring a child into this mess, deliberately?? I think she just wanted her anchor baby, identity of the daddy be damned, but now she realizes, oh shit! Even with the baby, I need numb nuts to step up and do something to get us out of her and on the plane to the US where she can live on the government dime (I say this because of her detailed description of what she thinks Americans are entitled to in terms of benefits that she gave us a few episodes back). Her grandfather looks old and just sick of this shit. First, his kid dumps her kids on him to raise. Then his grandson knocks someone up out of wedlock----not sure what he does for a living or how dependent his is on Lalo. Then Mary lands an American! Woohoo here come easier times, right? Gets a new house built.....then he realizes this American hit a few branches while falling off the stupid tree and then she gets knocked up instead of trading off for a better quality American. 

Danielle and Yohan----he is sick of her bullshit and I am here for it. Still it has to hurt to hear those words....when he said wht do I have? nothing. I wanted her to say, you have ME. You have a WIFE. 

[gaPeach]

Brandon and Mary are beyond stupid. All that facetime and they apparently planned nothing.  I am sure their calls mostly consisted of "What girls did you talk to today?"  Why didn't you answer on the 1st ring?  What were you doing talking to a GIRL?"   You know, the important life stuff..............sheesh they are dumb.

[1011101010001]

On 10/10/2023 at 3:48 PM, Chalby said:

Brandon's inability to be industrious is disappointing

He said he kept losing jobs in the US because Mary wanted him to FaceTime but I am wondering if he just quits jobs on a whim if he doesn’t feel like working that day.

On 10/10/2023 at 11:58 AM, Kath94 said:

And who borrows $1000 to build a "store" if the anticipated return is $18/mo?

Maybe Yohan who never made money at the butcher store and wanted to pay $20k for a house he could rent for $100 per month.

12 hours ago, gaPeach said:

sheesh they are dumb.

She is also delusional if she thinks he looks like Justin Bieber.

[Stuckathome]

9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Maybe Yohan who never made money at the butcher store and wanted to pay $20k for a house he could rent for $100 per month.

In Yohan's mind, this is the perfect plan. I think he was thinking in terms of his friend he mentioned that met an American and she bought the car, apt etc before they were even married. For that guy, it would be sound deal---here honey, spend $20,000 and then I will walk around with that $100 rent in my pocket and feel like mister bigshot in my neighborhood with the $100 I "earned." As horrible as Danielle is, I agree with her on the subject of Yohan and money. He doesn't have a clue. If he had met a rich American retiree with cash to burn, sure, that type of woman probably wouldn't bat an eye at dropping $20,000 on an investment property----which hopefully would stay in her name only. But he has Danielle, bankrupt, pays to get advice from kicking a coconut Danielle. 

[Scarlett45]

On 10/12/2023 at 7:19 AM, Stuckathome said:

In Yohan's mind, this is the perfect plan. I think he was thinking in terms of his friend he mentioned that met an American and she bought the car, apt etc before they were even married. For that guy, it would be sound deal---here honey, spend $20,000 and then I will walk around with that $100 rent in my pocket and feel like mister bigshot in my neighborhood with the $100 I "earned." As horrible as Danielle is, I agree with her on the subject of Yohan and money. He doesn't have a clue. If he had met a rich American retiree with cash to burn, sure, that type of woman probably wouldn't bat an eye at dropping $20,000 on an investment property----which hopefully would stay in her name only. But he has Danielle, bankrupt, pays to get advice from kicking a coconut Danielle. 

While I agree, Danielle is no better because I think she lied to him and used him. She sold him a bill of goods regarding the life they were going to live, and moving to the USA only to pull the rug out from under him after the vows were exchanged. 
 

However the baby comment was below the belt, and uncalled for. Yohan knew how old Danielle was when he agreed to marry her, and she can’t control her fertility. He’s an ass, she’s a liar. 

[Not Buyin It]

On 10/10/2023 at 12:52 AM, anoninrva said:

Mary comes across .. unfavorably.  Sure, he's a shiftless teenager, but what else is he going to do?  Farm rice?  I don't think either of them planned very well for what was going to happen when he got there other than sexy times.  And even that, they didn't plan well..

I know we're only really getting his side of the story, but the selective translation with her grandfather, her overall RBS, I don't know.  Spoilers aside, I'd agree that things do not bode well for that relationship.

My husband and I are both retired military. Served during the timespan of Vietnam through Desert Storm including the Cold War. We laughed at Brandon from the get-go. Boy, you share a warm bed with that "sweet young thing"....she OWNS you! For her "honor", doncha know. We saw that happen oh, so many times. And if the pee-stick says "Congratulations!", it's Game Over.

Seems some things have not changed all that much over the years. We'll be sure to tune in, just to see how 'Harry Potter' works his magic over this situation.

On 10/10/2023 at 8:27 AM, Mr. Miner said:

It looks like they are blurring out EPT's on the second shelf of their little "store". They gross me out!

Very popular item for sweet "vulnerable" girls wanting a ticket to the US.

[Not Buyin It]

On 10/11/2023 at 10:16 AM, gaPeach said:

Brandon and Mary are beyond stupid. All that facetime and they apparently planned nothing.  I am sure their calls mostly consisted of "What girls did you talk to today?"  Why didn't you answer on the 1st ring?  What were you doing talking to a GIRL?"   You know, the important life stuff..............sheesh they are dumb.

Brandon is stupid. Mary is calculating, manipulative and desperate.

[Kid]

Some of these couples make you want to tear out your hair.

Edited October 24, 2023 by Kid