S05.E06: Who’s the Bossiest

[Scarlett45]

 Yash tells Kimberly that marrying his brother will ruin everyone's lives; Kenny and Armando are at a crossroads; Kirsten heads home, and Julio pinky promises to see her in three months in the Netherlands; Holly takes a self-defense class.

 

Air Date: August 14, 2023

[Matty]

Kimberly screaming and whining about not being able to cook with garlic has to be the most petty argument she could wage with TJ's family. Really? She sounded like a shrew. After yelling about sacrificing so much to come to India and marry TJ her confessional comes on where she states that "TJ's brother argues like a Virgo." She sounds like a fifteen year old girl reading the horoscopes in Teen Vogue. She's been in a permanent snit since arriving in India and seeing the kitchen. Get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Well, in her mind, it does. Can someone tell me what she was wearing on her head?    

[Tango64]

Kimberly is yet another example, possibly the best one yet, of a silly, self-centered American committing herself to a very different culture and then complaining that it is not like her own. Her shock and objections seemed almost too crazy to be real.

But how could she know what is like to be a wife in India? I mean, it's not like she knew anyone from India she could ask, and there isn't any magical technology that would enlighten her in five minutes. 

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, Tango64 said:

Kimberly is yet another example, possibly the best one yet, of a silly, self-centered American committing herself to a very different culture and then complaining that it is not like her own. Her shock and objections seemed almost too crazy to be real.

But how could she know what is like to be a wife in India? I mean, it's not like she knew anyone from India she could ask, and there isn't any magical technology that would enlighten her in five minutes. 

She spent like what, a year there? She should have an idea. She should have educated herself before she moved. 

[Kid]

2 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

She spent like what, a year there? She should have an idea. She should have educated herself before she moved. 

As much as I don't really care for his family, I think his brother is absolutely right. Did you notice how differently she acted with the brother when the boyfriend was there? As they say in the south," butter would not melt in her mouth."

[1011101010001]

So they have chopped it in half going forward to make room for The Last Resort.

Re Kenny and Armando, everything Kenny says about not seeing the surrogate baby get married, have kids etc., is true for Hannah too.   Also if you miss out on life events because you are dead you won’t know because you are dead.

5 hours ago, Tango64 said:

But how could she know what is like to be a wife in India?

She lived there for a year and chose to return.  She knows the score but just thinks if she stamps her feet the whole culture will change.

1 hour ago, Kid said:

As much as I don't really care for his family, I think his brother is absolutely right. Did you notice how differently she acted with the brother when the boyfriend was there? As they say in the south," butter would not melt in her mouth."

The brother is undoubtedly an asshole but she makes me take his side lol.

[Hellohappylife]

“ It’s not like this in America” NO SHIT.

Holly & Kim are both idiots.  

If you want things to be like “America” then maybe stay in America, Don’t go on TV & make the rest of us look bad! 

[Meowwww]

The drugged up chick in the too-short dresses, she’s not the brightest bulb on the tree, is she. Having a fit about being asked to dress differently for her safety (and momma was just as bad with her cold shoulders and revealing clothing) was so idiotic. Her droopy eyes and droopy affect.  Thinking she can jog at night in South Africa and be safe.   
I really can’t stand her. 
 

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Meowwww said:

she’s not the brightest bulb on the tree, is she.

Her face looks more unnatural each episode.  Are the fillers leaking?

[TwirlyGirly]

Kimberly and TJ:

Although Kimberly lived in India for a year prior to returning permanently to marry TJ, she's beginning to suspect TJ is pulling a "bait and switch" on her, and that's the source of her ire. 

In his THs, TJ has admitted he's deliberately deceived Kimberly regarding the tasks he — and the rest of his family — expect Kimberly to perform for them once they're married.

Kimberly is a smart cookie. During the year she spent in India previously, no doubt she learned all about the culturally imposed responsibilities of an Indian wife to her husband and his family.

As Kimberly discovered each task a wife/DIL is expected to perform, no doubt she told TJ "I'm not going to do that" and TJ said "Oh, you won't have to. Trust me" — because he wanted to ensure Kimberly would marry him.

After she returned to the U.S., proof TJ had begun work on an apartment for the two of them no doubt reassured her that TJ would keep his word. 

But now that she's back in India, the condition of their apartment — combined with things Yosh has said — have made Kimberly suspicious that TJ may not be as supportive of her independence from his family as he promised.

While I believe her reaction to the poor workmanship of the purely cosmetic aspects of the apartment was over the top, one unfinished part of the apartment is a huge red flag: the kitchen.

Yes, there's a counter. But there's no sink, and no appliances. One week before their marriage, Kimberly still has no way to prepare meals for TJ and herself after they marry.

So how's that going to work? 

TJ will tell her appliances are expensive, and he can't afford them right now. But, he'll buy them as soon as he can. In the meantime, she can just help his mother prepare meals in the "main" house.

Days, weeks, and months will pass and she'll still have a room TJ will call a kitchen, despite there being no way to prepare even a simple meal in it. And because they'll already be married, TJ will have what he wants and therefore will no longer have any incentive to provide Kimberly the things she wants and he promised to her. 

This is why I'm not going to criticize Kimberly: she's been absolutely clear about what she expects, and what she will and will not do, as her conditions for marrying TJ.

TJ, on the other hand, agreed to Kimberly's conditions so that she'd marry him, but has no intention of following through on his promises. 

Frankly, I'm glad Kimberly is as strong as she is. TJ has his family to back him up; Kimberly only has herself. 

Edited August 16, 2023 by TwirlyGirly

[IvySpice]

7 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

TJ, on the other hand, agreed to Kimberly's conditions so that she'd marry him, but has no intention of following through on his promises. 

I think that's right, but I don't understand what's motivating him. Finding a love match in India would be one tenth as much trouble for him. If his parents agreed to a Christian white girl, they'll agree to anything. Why does it have to be Kimberly? Is he just into drama? Is she a weapon for attacking his parents and brother? Does he think he'll be able to control her in a way that he can't control an Indian girl? (If so, that's nuts -- even after they're married, she can still run back home if she wants to.) So wtf?

Wayne put all his money into crypto? 🙄 There's a real brain trust in that house.

[1011101010001]

19 hours ago, IvySpice said:

Why does it have to be Kimberly?

Maybe like Jenny she employs American sexual secrets he can’t find locally.

[TwirlyGirly]

On 8/16/2023 at 6:21 PM, IvySpice said:

I think that's right, but I don't understand what's motivating him. Finding a love match in India would be one tenth as much trouble for him. If his parents agreed to a Christian white girl, they'll agree to anything. Why does it have to be Kimberly? Is he just into drama? Is she a weapon for attacking his parents and brother? Does he think he'll be able to control her in a way that he can't control an Indian girl? (If so, that's nuts -- even after they're married, she can still run back home if she wants to.) So wtf?

You know, maybe being with her satisfies something in him that outsiders like us can't understand.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[TwirlyGirly]

Regarding all the couples who participate in the 90 Day Fiance franchise series:

If you were to add up all the time they've been on screen during the current (and previous, if applicable) season(s), and express that as a percentage of the total amount of time they've spent together since they met, their scenes would represent only about 1-5% of their relationship. 

It's incredibly easy to manipulate what a relationship looks like to those on the outside if what you're showing is a carefully curated selection of situations representing only 1-5% of the time the couple spent together. 

A question for all Primetimers:

Be honest: would you continue to watch this (or any of the other 90 Day Fiance franchise  series) if 95% of each couple's screentime consisted of them happily walking hand-in-hand, shopping and sightseeing together, preparing meals, snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie, etc. - and only 5% of their time on screen depicted conflict? 

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

Mrs. RaiderDuck and I think part of Yash's pissiness is pure jealousy: He probably wanted that upstairs apartment for himself or at least as an extra living space for everyone, but TJ instead appropriates it for this American girl who doesn't even appreciate how much better she's living than the rest of the family (who either share beds with blood relations or literally sleep on the floor). This is one of those arguments where neither party comes off well.

Methinks Kenny was hoping the IVF procedure would be so expensive and/or time-consuming that it would make their decision for them, and was a little disappointed that it might be affordable and feasible. Now he has to have the tough conversation he wanted to avoid.

Seeing Mary's grandfather literally wading in crap, then Wayne's entire middle-class neighborhood playing peek-a-boo with the power every day, made me appreciate how good we have it in the USA.

RUN, Kirsten. Julio is a gaslighting jerk who will never change. You could walk into any singles bar in the US and have your pick of eligible men. No reason to waste any more time with a guy who has to use his friends to break bad news.

[1011101010001]

14 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

or literally sleep on the floor

My best friend is of Indian descent and his parents preferred to sleep on the floor.

14 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Kenny was hoping the IVF procedure would be so expensive

They didn’t even blink at the $70k.  Maybe Sharp told them they would pay?  Armando had a doggie daycare in his hometown and Kenny sold real estate in Florida but not sure what either one does for income in that retirement town they moved to.

15 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Wayne's entire middle-class neighborhood playing peek-a-boo with the power every day

Seem like the Texas power grid may be going that way.

[CrazyInAlabama]

What Wayne was talking about is 'load shedding' regular blackouts on a daily basis, not just during peak times, or in emergencies.    THat's a big issue for security systems, garage access, etc. 

I think Kenny was in property management, and I think owned rental properties in Florida, so I think he's very well off.  I'm guessing the $70k was including hiring a surrogate, or two surrogates, plus all of the costs with IVF.   The cost may also include buying donor eggs, and all of the lab and procedure costs, and multiple rounds of IVF. 

Edited August 21, 2023 by CrazyInAlabama

[Scarlett45]

On 8/20/2023 at 2:56 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I think Kenny was in property management, and I think owned rental properties in Florida, so I think he's very well off.  I'm guessing the $70k was including hiring a surrogate, or two surrogates, plus all of the costs with IVF.   The cost may also include buying donor eggs, and all of the lab and procedure costs, and multiple rounds of IVF. 

Yes I’m sure Kenny has the money. The $70k sounded about right to me, as you have to buy a round of eggs, and pay the surrogate, and pay the medical fees and the agency. Armando would use his own sperm, but every other part you’d have to pay for. 

On 8/19/2023 at 10:07 PM, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Methinks Kenny was hoping the IVF procedure would be so expensive and/or time-consuming that it would make their decision for them, and was a little disappointed that it might be affordable and feasible. Now he has to have the tough conversation he wanted to avoid.

I don’t think that. Kenny paid cash for IVF in the early/mid 90s. No he didn’t have to pay his friend or buy eggs, but that was EXPENSIVE. He knows what reproductive tech costs because he’s lived through this before, yes there is inflation and tech advances but he probably knew a rough amount when they walked in. 

[1011101010001]

16 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Armando would use his own sperm, but every other part you’d have to pay for. 

Armando wants Kenny to be the dad.

[Scarlett45]

17 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Armando wants Kenny to be the dad.

What?? I missed that? WHY??!! Kenny is 60yrs old and has 4 bio kids, isn’t this so Armando can have more bio kids??

[libgirl2]

On 8/19/2023 at 10:07 PM, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

 

Seeing Mary's grandfather literally wading in crap, then Wayne's entire middle-class neighborhood playing peek-a-boo with the power every day, made me appreciate how good we have it in the USA.

 

I am reminded of all the vacations spent with family in the DR when it happened "se fue la luz", there goes the light. Power outages happened at anytime. Many people had generators but often we might have to get out a candle. I don't know if it has improved out there or not as I haven't been there in about 20 years. I should ask my cousins. Probably nothing has changed maybe just better generators. 

[1011101010001]

37 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

What?? I missed that? WHY??!! Kenny is 60yrs old and has 4 bio kids, isn’t this so Armando can have more bio kids??

He said because Hannah is his bio kid so he wants the other one to be Kenny’s.

[Scarlett45]

Just now, MrBuhBye said:

He said because Hannah is his bio kid so he wants the other one to be Kenny’s.

Thanks for explaining. 

[1011101010001]

19 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I am reminded of all the vacations spent with family in the DR when it happened "se fue la luz", there goes the light. Power outages happened at anytime. Many people had generators but often we might have to get out a candle. I don't know if it has improved out there or not as I haven't been there in about 20 years. I should ask my cousins. Probably nothing has changed maybe just better generators. 

Holly was insisting on having AC but with load shedding she is not going to be happy with the indoor temperatures anyway.

[Cementhead]

On 8/16/2023 at 6:21 PM, IvySpice said:

Wayne put all his money into crypto? 🙄 There's a real brain trust in that house.

Watching those two morons trying to figure out how many square feet that house was with their phone:

 

Edited August 22, 2023 by Cementhead