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Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?


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We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

If there's something you need clarification on, please keep in mind that it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; talk to them and not about what they said.
If you disagree, consider how we can express our differing opinions and still respect the other's opinion and recognize it as valid.
We're all different people, so different perspectives and points of views are natural, welcome even for growing a healthy community. What is important is that we disagree with empathy and consideration. (If need be, check out the how do we have healthy debates guidelines for more).

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My Dad told me he looked up an old friend from his high school and college days and was going to just knock on his door with the address listed....  I kind of told ya know maybe you might want to use social media to see if he's on it before you go to that length.  But he told me this guy was never at all the social media type of person.  

 

 

That does make me think though there's people I grew up with in school, church, and the neighborhood I knew where there is like jack squat anywhere on them.  These weren't like shy types either these were people I would have thought whose personalities were built for social media.  I mean unless the girls out of the group married and took their husbands last names?

 

 

Life is weird 

Edited by BlueSkies
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On 10/14/2023 at 10:27 AM, shapeshifter said:

Not a dope.
But I did see a bunch of complaints about iPad behavior with this site in the Golden Bachelor thread. 
Don't worry all y'all. I'm not going over to the dark side and watching reality TV or considering dating again after 30+ years of not dating. 
I just figured the G Bach is a current cultural touchstone, and I could read the last few posts to see what was happening. 
Hah!
What was mostly happening was iPad-on-PrimeTimer complaints. 🤣
And a hilarious comment about their hair.

Okay, @kristen111. Here may be the solution until the PrimeTimer tech guy figures it out:

You should be able to download the DuckDuckGo private browser from the App store.

You *might* want to report your iPad problems with this site in a thread on the PrimeTimer's Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions board, but I'm not sure in which thread.🙃

Thanks to you, i took your advice and got DuckDuckGo.  I also found out that so many other posters have had the same problem.  Lots of complaints similar to mine.  Went on for a few days.  Now, I’m working on an AdBlocker.  There are so many.  In between, I’m watching the Bachelor, which is hilarious.  So, thanks for pointing me in the right direction.  How u doin? 😀

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1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Does the senior bunch get fantasy suites so they can "get to know each other" better off camera?

No fantasy suites .. only making out.  It’s only one hour long.  Maybe a quick dinner of a shake and fries.  He seems to let go of the pretty ones and keeping the fugly ones.  Lots of fake hair, Botox, lifts, and catty women. 

Edited by kristen111
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28 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

No fantasy suites .. only making out.  It’s only one hour long.  Maybe a quick dinner of a shake and fries.  He seems to let go of the pretty ones and keeping the fugly ones.  Lots of fake hair, Botox, lifts, and catty women. 

So mostly the same as the non-senior Bachelor. 

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Lots of computer talk right now so I will dive in, I finally went ahead and ordered a new Mac Mini.  My old one, a second hand thing from 2012, has reached near-death status a couple of times, and when I came back from an 8 day trip Wednesday night and turned it on, after properly shutting it down before I left, it wouldn't even let me go online.  I decided to go for it, up to now I was just deleting a lot of extra large files (like scans of negatives for example) to clear up storage but clearly it's not going to last much longer.  It's stuck on the 10.15 Mac OS and now I see the new ones are up to OS 14!

I do need a new one for scanning my negatives and then making the prints at home though I don't know if my Epson fine art printer will cooperate with OS 14.  However I had to take the plunge sometime. 

In regard to the iPad, I bought my new iPad Air not long ago for $800! and now I see new iPads on sale for $250??   I do use mine often though for traveling and prefer it for zoom/Google meet etc. 

@kristen111 maybe your issue is with this site rather than your iPad?  Not sure but there are an awful lot of pop ups here so that can make things look jerky.  I usually browse on FIrefox though it seems to have its own issues.

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7 hours ago, roseha said:

Lots of computer talk right now so I will dive in, I finally went ahead and ordered a new Mac Mini.  My old one, a second hand thing from 2012, has reached near-death status a couple of times, and when I came back from an 8 day trip Wednesday night and turned it on, after properly shutting it down before I left, it wouldn't even let me go online.  I decided to go for it, up to now I was just deleting a lot of extra large files (like scans of negatives for example) to clear up storage but clearly it's not going to last much longer.  It's stuck on the 10.15 Mac OS and now I see the new ones are up to OS 14!

I do need a new one for scanning my negatives and then making the prints at home though I don't know if my Epson fine art printer will cooperate with OS 14.  However I had to take the plunge sometime. 

In regard to the iPad, I bought my new iPad Air not long ago for $800! and now I see new iPads on sale for $250??   I do use mine often though for traveling and prefer it for zoom/Google meet etc. 

@kristen111 maybe your issue is with this site rather than your iPad?  Not sure but there are an awful lot of pop ups here so that can make things look jerky.  I usually browse on FIrefox though it seems to have its own issues.

Yes.  It’s not the I-pad.  It’s the site.  So many posters have complained about the same problems also.  Thanks for reaching out.

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11 hours ago, kristen111 said:

No fantasy suites .. only making out.  It’s only one hour long.  Maybe a quick dinner of a shake and fries.  He seems to let go of the pretty ones and keeping the fugly ones.  Lots of fake hair, Botox, lifts, and catty women. 

Is dinner at 4 pm? #sorrynotsorry

Edited by PRgal
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8 hours ago, Bastet said:

Lovely.  Just as sexist, just without a nookie room due to ageism. 

Sorry, really respect how strong of a feminist you are and didn’t mean to offend anyone of any age with my posts. I find the show prime snark material for a board like this. To be clear, I see nothing wrong with Botox, fake hair, or whatever. I know there is so much pressure on women, and I think the men on those are just as silly as the women. I also think people of all ages deserve love and to enjoy sex. I just find the Bachelor franchise to be goofy entertainment where the very rare exceptions find a partner. I also think the fantasy suites are gross. It’s like they test drive human beings back to back like they’re cars.

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1 minute ago, RealHousewife said:

Sorry, really respect how strong of a feminist you are and didn’t mean to offend anyone of any age with my posts. I find the show prime snark material for a board like this. To be clear, I see nothing wrong with Botox, fake hair, or whatever. I know there is so much pressure on women, and I think the men on those are just as silly as the women. I also think people of all ages deserve love and to enjoy sex. I just find the Bachelor franchise to be goofy entertainment where the very rare exceptions find a partner. I also think the fantasy suites are gross. It’s like they test drive human beings back to back like they’re cars.

Plus we all know that these shows are really auditions for the next Bachelor(ette).  Can't wait for Golden Bachelorette.  I'd love to see how guys my dad's age behave together when it comes to competing for a woman.  LOL

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16 hours ago, kristen111 said:

No fantasy suites .. only making out.  It’s only one hour long.  Maybe a quick dinner of a shake and fries.  He seems to let go of the pretty ones and keeping the fugly ones.  Lots of fake hair, Botox, lifts, and catty women. 

You watch, so I don't have to!  A dinner of a shake and fries? Last of the big time spenders 😡.

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5 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Sorry, really respect how strong of a feminist you are and didn’t mean to offend anyone of any age with my posts.

I was snarking that the show sounds sexist and ageist, not you!

Edited by Bastet
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16 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Yes.  It’s not the I-pad.  It’s the site.  So many posters have complained about the same problems also.  Thanks for reaching out.

I've had issues on my ipad, too. I've complained about it a couple of times, when it messed up my attempt at a response. 

I've had issues with the ipad itself, on other sites, too. It suddenly stops typing, and won't let me move the cursor, so I have to refresh and try again. I appreciate that this forum saves what we type, so I didn't have to write it all out again, the last time. 

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Well I will say that having a new iPad has been saving me due to my current status with a decrepit Mac.  I've been emailing my family today over the iPad just because it was so frustrating to try to get the email software (Thunderbird) to load on the Mini.  I just got the new keyboard and mouse from Apple, the Mini is being built to order (I want lots of storage) so should get here next week.  Still appreciate the iPad for its portability as well of course.

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11 hours ago, Anela said:

I've had issues on my ipad, too. I've complained about it a couple of times, when it messed up my attempt at a response. 

I've had issues with the ipad itself, on other sites, too. It suddenly stops typing, and won't let me move the cursor, so I have to refresh and try again. I appreciate that this forum saves what we type, so I didn't have to write it all out again, the last time. 

If it saves what we type, where is it, and how do we get it back?  I’ve had so many disappear and have to start all over again.  I like how the I pad feels on my lap .. the other laptops are too clunky for me.  It suits for what I have to do.  Which isn’t too much lately, lol.

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23 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Sorry, really respect how strong of a feminist you are and didn’t mean to offend anyone of any age with my posts. I find the show prime snark material for a board like this. To be clear, I see nothing wrong with Botox, fake hair, or whatever. I know there is so much pressure on women, and I think the men on those are just as silly as the women. I also think people of all ages deserve love and to enjoy sex. I just find the Bachelor franchise to be goofy entertainment where the very rare exceptions find a partner. I also think the fantasy suites are gross. It’s like they test drive human beings back to back like they’re cars.

You said nothing wrong.  It’s a SHOW for Pete’s sakes.  We call it as we see it.  

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23 hours ago, PRgal said:

Plus we all know that these shows are really auditions for the next Bachelor(ette).  Can't wait for Golden Bachelorette.  I'd love to see how guys my dad's age behave together when it comes to competing for a woman.  LOL

Me too.  I’m dying to see how the men respond.  People are loving this show and getting many likes.  They should make it a two hour show, if they all have the energy, lol.  The women are talented and have lots of energy.  All nice up to date women.  It’s refreshing.

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Can you believe anyone would be this much of an A-hole? The bride had told him she had spent a lot of time and money to have a beautiful wedding dress and make up. She made him promise not to smash cake into her face and he swore he wouldn't.

image.thumb.png.5b321beab685818411e7006cd1c5f5aa.png

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This ^^^^reminds me in a way of the smash cakes for one year olds. So many people think it's so cute, so funny.  I find it offensive. It's a waste of good food & there's something about the smashing that bothers me. YMMV and all that.

What kind of a jerk would do that to his bride? She most likely dodged the proverbial bullet.

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1 hour ago, Laura Holt said:

Is doing this to the bride a thing now?  I lead a sheltered life, apparently, because I've never heard of this being done before.  Way to keep it classy.

Maybe not as much as it used to be, I don't know but it was a thing at almost every wedding I attended for years.

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There's a decades long history, at least since the 1970's.  One or the other or both of the wedding couple smashing wedding cake. I even know of one groom who smashed wedding cake in his mother-in-law's face. 

I particularly remember it because I knew that groom in college. Friend-zoned him then & for some years after.  He went on to be VERY famous, celebrated & successful. Tales of his brash tactics & bravado are legendary.  So I might have wondered, what if?  But when I read, so long ago, that he smashed wedding cake in his mother-in-law's face, I knew that my initial instincts about him were right for me - if he'd done that to MY mother (or to me), I'd have walked out right then & there - without a glance back.  On the other hand, his wife, all these years later, is with him still - so she was either unbothered, or forgave him, or the pros outweighed the cons.  Sometimes things turn out just the way they should.      

Good for the bride who is now suing for divorce -- she can still dodge a bullet.  If the groom couldn't accept what she expressly asked of him, or just a jerk whose dumb sense of "humor" & disrespect overrode her feelings - then good riddance to him.  It wouldn't be getting any better.

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10 hours ago, realityplease said:

On the other hand, his wife, all these years later, is with him still - so she was either unbothered, or forgave him, or the pros outweighed the cons.  Sometimes things turn out just the way they should.      

Best case scenario: She thought it was fun.
"Different strokes for different folks."

The one thing that would have probably kept my ex and me together would have been if he had a sense of humor and enough wit and sensitivity to go with it, including knowing that smushing a cake in my face was not fun for me — which, BTW, he never would have done.

Conclusions:
Sense of humor is good.
A joke at the expense of someone who does not appreciate it is bad. 
A sense of humor that occasionally crosses a line? — depends upon the individuals involved.

Edited by shapeshifter
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On 10/18/2023 at 10:03 AM, kristen111 said:

If it saves what we type, where is it, and how do we get it back?  I’ve had so many disappear and have to start all over again.  I like how the I pad feels on my lap .. the other laptops are too clunky for me.  It suits for what I have to do.  Which isn’t too much lately, lol.

It usually saves as you go, so if you click on the comment part again, it should be there, unless you want to "clear editor". Something like that.

Edited by Anela
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On 10/18/2023 at 10:03 AM, kristen111 said:

If it saves what we type, where is it, and how do we get it back?  I’ve had so many disappear and have to start all over again.  I like how the I pad feels on my lap .. the other laptops are too clunky for me.  It suits for what I have to do.  Which isn’t too much lately, lol.

12 minutes ago, Anela said:

It usually saves as you go, so if you click on the comment part again, it should be there, unless you want to "clear editor". Something like that.

Yes. It's pretty amazing. 
However, if you access the thread on a different device, when you click in the "Reply to this topic" box, the Reply you started typing (but did not Submit) on the other device will not appear.
At least, not that I've observed.
But I don't have my Google account linked such that my bookmarks etc. follow me around whenever I'm logged into Google and using the Chrome browser. 
I kind of wish I had done that when my previous laptop died.
But I still haven't done it.
Anyhoo, I've wondered if that would somehow allow me to start typing on, say, my phone, and then finish the Reply on my laptop.
Has anyone tried this?
Or is my question unclear?

Edited by shapeshifter
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4 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Any wedding I've attended, the bride & groom "fed" each other a very small piece of cake as a symbolic gesture. No smashing or smearing.

Same!  And I have to say if you reach your wedding day and have no idea how your spouse will react should you decide to go with the smashing/smearing option you need ask!!  Honestly, it's not that hard.

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4 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

hours ago, realityplease said:

As @realityplease said .. “in a marriage, if you weight the pros and cons and the pros outweigh the cons” the marriage will mostly survive.  So true.  I’ve made the list many times in my over fifty years of marriage.  Plus, he would never embarrass me with cake in my face.  It’s not cute.

21 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Yes. It's pretty amazing. 
However, if you access the thread on a different device, when you click in the "Reply to this topic" box, the Reply you started typing (but did not Submit) on the other device will not appear.
At least, not that I've observed.
But I don't have my Google account linked such that my bookmarks etc. follow me around whenever I'm logged into Google and using the Chrome browser. 
I kind of wish I had done that when my previous laptop died.
But I still haven't done it.
Anyhoo, I've wondered if that would somehow allow me to start typing on, say, my phone, and then finish the Reply on my laptop.
Has anyone tried this?
Or is my question unclear?

Thanks again both of you.

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16 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

Is doing this to the bride a thing now?  I lead a sheltered life, apparently, because I've never heard of this being done before.  Way to keep it classy.

Yes, it is done.  Also the garter thing where the groom goes way up the brides dress to get the garter in his teeth.  Some men are so gross and overdo it.  I didn’t do the cake or garter thing .. no way.  They actually stick their face under the brides dress.

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In my parents' wedding photos, there's one of them smiling at each other over the cake and my mother has a dab of frosting on the tip of her nose. I think that's how it started, as a sweet and cute gesture before it got mean and hostile. Who knows why it took a nasty turn.

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2 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

Same!  And I have to say if you reach your wedding day and have no idea how your spouse will react should you decide to go with the smashing/smearing option you need ask!!  Honestly, it's not that hard.

They had discussed it before, many times and he promised he would not do it. I would have divorced him too.

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3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Yes, it is done.  Also the garter thing where the groom goes way up the brides dress to get the garter in his teeth.  Some men are so gross and overdo it.  I didn’t do the cake or garter thing .. no way.  They actually stick their face under the brides dress.

😲 This is awful!! The very few times I've seen the garter thing, it was done ok, nothing gross. I've never liked it, though. Some men can be so disrespectful to women. 

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31 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

😲 This is awful!! The very few times I've seen the garter thing, it was done ok, nothing gross. I've never liked it, though. Some men can be so disrespectful to women. 

It depends on the individual.
My niece was a burlesque dancer in her early 20s, and is still comfortable doing performative entrances that can shock, albeit now more intellectual than sexy.

I don’t recall whether there was any garter tossing at her recent, second marriage, now in her early 40s, but if there was, it would have been her idea, not the groom’s.
As it should be.

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My husband likes to decorate the outside of the house for Halloween and he's hung up some ghostly ghoul type things on the front porch.  It is a windy day and I am sitting in the living room and every now and then am twitching as I see what I think is a disembodied person heading towards my front door.  I know what it is but I still react.  I am thinking one of us is going to have to go - either me into another room or the ghostly ghouls further away from the door!

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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

😲 This is awful!! The very few times I've seen the garter thing, it was done ok, nothing gross. I've never liked it, though. Some men can be so disrespectful to women. 

It was shown on tv a few times.  On one show, the bride gave the husband a lap dance in front of everyone, even the grooms mother.  Yikes.  I think it was Married at First Sight”.

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7 hours ago, Laura Holt said:

Same!  And I have to say if you reach your wedding day and have no idea how your spouse will react should you decide to go with the smashing/smearing option you need ask!!  Honestly, it's not that hard.

Or if you don't know them that well that you can't guess how they would react, maybe reconsider if you are ready for marriage.

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I've always thought there should be a "never mind" checkbox on the marriage certificate if someone does the stupid shit of smearing a piece of cake on their new spouse's face as part of the "feeding each other cake" nonsense and said spouse objects, but the source material reveals this was beyond that ridiculous ritual:

Quote

My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.  Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it.  It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as backup.

The hell? 

(Also, why is this story apparently viral now, when she wrote about it nearly two years ago?)

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And I just posted in the wrong thread. I'll edit. 

I did that last weekend, in a TV thread, when I checked *three times* that I was in the one I wanted to respond to. Nope. Somehow, I got it wrong.

Edited by Anela
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17 hours ago, kristen111 said:

It was shown on tv a few times.  On one show, the bride gave the husband a lap dance in front of everyone, even the grooms mother.  Yikes.  I think it was Married at First Sight”.

As far as I'm concerned, people, men or women, who go into marriage without any idea that their future spouse would do anything so gross, disrespectful and potentially humiliating shouldn't be marrying the person in the first place.

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Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

We all have been drawn into off-topic discussions, me included. There's little that's off-topic when it comes to Chit Chat, so the only ask is that you please remember that this is the Chit Chat topic and that there's a subforum for all things health and wellness here.

If there's something you need clarification on, please keep in mind that it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; talk to them and not about what they said.
If you disagree, consider how we can express our differing opinions and still respect the other's opinion and recognize it as valid.
We're all different people, so different perspectives and points of views are natural, welcome even for growing a healthy community. What is important is that we disagree with empathy and consideration. (If need be, check out the how do we have healthy debates guidelines for more).

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