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Life After Lockup: Season 5 LIVE CHAT

PrincessPurrsALot

By PrincessPurrsALot
in Love After Lockup

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Gobi
Gobi

Whew, almost didn't make it here! My swing came down from the ceiling, landing in the hot tub, nearly drowning me. Fortunately, the resulting splash put out the fire of a pile of my belongings.

Eldemarge
Eldemarge

So someone wants to marry MAMA JUNE and I'm still here alone with a cat on Friday nights. No, no, it's cool.  It's fine!  Everything makes sense!

WaltersHair
WaltersHair

You live by the giant glue ons, you die by the giant glue ons

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PrincessPurrsALot

PrincessPurrsALot

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Who joins us for this season's messiness?

Monique and Derek

Fresh off of Love After Lockup, Derek and Monique were on a break in his mind but not in hers.  She trusts him so much she tracks his phone and placed cameras in his bedroom at Big Ma's house.  He had a relationship with a CO at the big house that may or may not be continuing.  Expect drama involving his family and a bread plate, not necessarily at the same time.

Justine and Michael

JustSmug, her weave, her boob sling, her three kids, and her now implanted embryo are back.  She is married to the second best rapper in Rhode Island, shoe mogul, Michael.  He brings 4 children to the mix, but, unlike Justine's kids, they live elsewhere.  So far, these crazy kids have decided to drop all gainful employment and have copious amounts of unprotected sex that may or may not incorporate ranch dressing and nutella in various orifices.  

Nathan and Skylar

They are both ex-cons who did time related to drug addiction.  They both have very unhealthy relationships with alcohol.  Nathan is half a tick from stroking out over nothing at any second.  One day he may bug his eyes out so hard they pop out of his head.  Skylar has a bevy of dead exes, an enabling mother, and an incredible ability to make herself the victim in all situations.   What could possibly go wrong?  So far we've seen them fight more than not.  Oh, the stories that grandma's creepy doll collection could tell.

Aris and Cameron

When last we left "Alpha male" Cameron (a.k.a. rapper OG Kam) and Aris they were three days into wedded, well, certainly not bliss.  After his great escalator caper, he poured himself into bed on top of sleeping, sick Aris, then proceeded to suggest she divorce him if she didn't approve of his behavior.  Cam the man was still drunk from the night before when he and Aris had their heart-to-heart about the state of their relationship.  Of course, the depth of that discussion was greatly limited by Cam's unwillingness to hear words when spoken by Aris.  Will they stay together long enough for him to move in with her or will she have sense enough to get the marriage annulled and run far away? Will she wear her pierced titty Tee to the annulment hearing?

Sara and Shawn

What have we done to deserve this?  Shawn is back.  Shawn.  Six kid abandoning Shawn.  Shawn who bounced from Destinie to Sara so quickly that his seed was not yet dry.  Shawn who chased prison poon across state lines but really wants us to believe he cares about his children. Sara has had the baby (heaven help that child) and she and Shawn are together.  She will snipe at him.  He will give his usual dullard look. And so on and so on and  . . . .

Chance and Tayler

Yes, it's Tayler with an E.  She is pregnant with Chance's progeny.  Hopefully the addition of a new baby will not make him decide anyone else needs to move into the garage "apartment" he built for Tayler's sister.   We can expect him to continue to show the financial sense of a flea and for Tayler to continue to question just how big of a mistake she made latching onto this guy.  

Puppy and Amber

Neither is pregnant now, so yay?  They will again try to convince us that they are interesting.  Try is the key word. 

Brittany and Marcelino

They packed up the brood and headed to Florida supposedly because Marcelino was a bad boy in Vegas.  Yeah, sure, whatever.  These two will play out any storyline to keep the Sharp  dollars rolling in.  Threesome?  Sure.  We can try to fake that.  Brittany's mom is an out-of-control addict??  Let that bus run right over her.  Marcie is cheating?  Of course he is!  Someday their children will see this mess.  Meanwhile I will nap through their scenes. 

Lindsey and Blaine

Lindsey gave us some great TV when she was with Flappy: the missed airport pickup, plugged in ankle monitor sex, the trashing of the office while Flappy calmly sat outside smoking.  Then she returned with Daonte and everyone but that poor, deluded lad knew she was only trying to stay attached to the Sharp teat.  Lindsey has hooked up with her marble-mouthed ex-employee, Blaine, a young man with a past as sketchy as hers.  She is looking to earn her Emmy this season.  He is trying to stay out of prison.  So is she.  As she has so eloquently stated, "I got charges, bruh!"  

We have ten episodes to see who stays together, who plays together, and who runs far away not together.  I am trying to write lyrics at the caliber of OG Kam.  I will now rap them off beat, so you can get the full experience. 

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SemiCharmedLife

SemiCharmedLife

1 minute ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Who joins us for this season's messiness?

Monique and Derek

Fresh off of Love After Lockup, Derek and Monique were on a break in his mind but not in hers.  She trusts him so much she tracks his phone and placed cameras in his bedroom at Big Ma's house.  He had a relationship with a CO at the big house that may or may not be continuing.  Expect drama involving his family and a bread plate, not necessarily at the same time.

Justine and Michael

JustSmug, her weave, her boob sling, her three kids, and her now implanted embryo are back.  She is married to the second best rapper in Rhode Island, shoe mogul, Michael.  He brings 4 children to the mix, but, unlike Justine's kids, they live elsewhere.  So far, these crazy kids have decided to drop all gainful employment and have copious amounts of unprotected sex that may or may not incorporate ranch dressing and nutella in various orifices.  

Nathan and Skylar

They are both ex-cons who did time related to drug addiction.  They both have very unhealthy relationships with alcohol.  Nathan is half a tick from stroking out over nothing at any second.  One day he may bug his eyes out so hard they pop out of his head.  Skylar has a bevy of dead exes, an enabling mother, and an incredible ability to make herself the victim in all situations.   What could possibly go wrong?  So far we've seen them fight more than not.  Oh, the stories that grandma's creepy doll collection could tell.

Aris and Cameron

When last we left "Alpha male" Cameron (a.k.a. rapper OG Kam) and Aris they were three days into wedded, well, certainly not bliss.  After his great escalator caper, he poured himself into bed on top of sleeping, sick Aris, then proceeded to suggest she divorce him if she didn't approve of his behavior.  Cam the man was still drunk from the night before when he and Aris had their heart-to-heart about the state of their relationship.  Of course, the depth of that discussion was greatly limited by Cam's unwillingness to hear words when spoken by Aris.  Will they stay together long enough for him to move in with her or will she have sense enough to get the marriage annulled and run far away? Will she wear her pierced titty Tee to the annulment hearing?

Sara and Shawn

What have we done to deserve this?  Shawn is back.  Shawn.  Six kid abandoning Shawn.  Shawn who bounced from Destinie to Sara so quickly that his seed was not yet dry.  Shawn who chased prison poon across state lines but really wants us to believe he cares about his children. Sara has had the baby (heaven help that child) and she and Shawn are together.  She will snipe at him.  He will give his usual dullard look. And so on and so on and  . . . .

Chance and Tayler

Yes, it's Tayler with an E.  She is pregnant with Chance's progeny.  Hopefully the addition of a new baby will not make him decide anyone else needs to move into the garage "apartment" he built for Tayler's sister.   We can expect him to continue to show the financial sense of a flea and for Tayler to continue to question just how big of a mistake she made latching onto this guy.  

Puppy and Amber

Neither is pregnant now, so yay?  They will again try to convince us that they are interesting.  Try is the key word. 

Brittany and Marcelino

They packed up the brood and headed to Florida supposedly because Marcelino was a bad boy in Vegas.  Yeah, sure, whatever.  These two will play out any storyline to keep the Sharp  dollars rolling in.  Threesome?  Sure.  We can try to fake that.  Brittany's mom is an out-of-control addict??  Let that bus run right over her.  Marcie is cheating?  Of course he is!  Someday their children will see this mess.  Meanwhile I will nap through their scenes. 

Lindsey and Blaine

Lindsey gave us some great TV when she was with Flappy: the missed airport pickup, plugged in ankle monitor sex, the trashing of the office while Flappy calmly sat outside smoking.  Then she returned with Daonte and everyone but that poor, deluded lad knew she was only trying to stay attached to the Sharp teat.  Lindsey has hooked up with her marble-mouthed ex-employee, Blaine, a young man with a past as sketchy as hers.  She is looking to earn her Emmy this season.  He is trying to stay out of prison.  So is she.  As she has so eloquently stated, "I got charges, bruh!"  

We have ten episodes to see who stays together, who plays together, and who runs far away not together.  I am trying to write lyrics at the caliber of OG Kam.  I will now rap them off beat, so you can get the full experience. 

I LOVED this recap!  😂

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Gobi

Gobi

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Anyone sell a shitload of sneakers this week? How about a rap album?

I have it on good advice that I am the tenth most popular rapper in Rhode Island.

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PrincessPurrsALot

PrincessPurrsALot

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1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Anyone sell a shitload of sneakers this week? How about a rap album?

I just need one big hit.  However, I found out the Montana Millz song I liked was actually him covering someone else's song.  Scammers gonna scam, scam, scam, scam, scam . . . 

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