S05.E05: Felons 4 Life

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Skylar fears the worst when Nathan goes missing; a mysterious car chase threatens Monique and Derek.

Original air date 2023.01.13

[goofygirl]

Whoopsie !I  I totally missed the whole LIVECHAT and I am so sorry! Shit happens.  Gonna catch the rerun now.

[Elizzikra]

I might actually have hit my tipping point tonight watching people scream at each other on television.

[goofygirl]

Oochie!! Monique and whatshisface in the gym!  What happened in the casino?? Apparently, no WINNING. Dang!

Where in the hell is his parole guy? Or is there one?

Great. Gabby is worried about how Chris is gonna treat her NOW?? She's kinda nutty, isn't she?

[Elizzikra]

16 hours ago, goofygirl said:

Oochie!! Monique and whatshisface in the gym!  What happened in the casino?? Apparently, no WINNING. Dang!

Where in the hell is his parole guy? Or is there one?

Great. Gabby is worried about how Chris is gonna treat her NOW?? She's kinda nutty, isn't she?

Nothing happened in the casino. What’s his name couldn’t get in because he didn’t have ID.

[Mothra]

What I need to do is print out a sheet showing each of these guys' faces, with names in large font.  I can remember the names of only a few of these refreshed citizens, so it's hard to express my deep feelings about each couple.  And I mean "express" the way Dr. Sandra Lee does.

I know who Monique is (I think we should be aware of and careful not to ugly-shame some of these guys--they can't help it, and god knows they've tried their best with beautiful tattoos.

Anyway, I kept thinking what a great troll-target she would be in any kind of unmodified discussion group.  She rises to the bait like a mighty pink salmon; she is programmed to respond, ineptly, to every taunt and threat.  Her boyfriend, the bodybuilder, who is *ugly*, is absolutely 100% correct:  Don't feed the trolls!

I liked the fact that he did not seem embarrassed by Monique's appearance and introduced her as his girlfriend.  I liked to see her working out with him, although her knees are going to pay for those squats.  But she didn't whine or resist doing a specific exercise, and they seemed to be having fun together.  Really kind of refreshing on this show. 

I think the bodybuilder's disdain for the phone and particularly social media has a lot to do with his attitude toward his gf and his interest in doing things other than playing with his phone, doing sex,catching up with his old friends, or becoming a rapper.

[Drogo]

Soooo Skylar, what happened to Nathan?  Is it too much to ask that a forest witch turned him into a toadstool?  
 

Kind of feel for Chris. He gets this bit of money for his suffering (the only windfall he’ll probably ever see) and the women who meant the most to him considered it theirs.  Gabby’s going to leave him high and dry now, isn’t she? 
 

Something about Travis fulfilling his dream of using a metal detector on a beach made me happy.  This dude robbed a bank… for $3K.  A mastermind, he ain’t.
 

Sure seemed like Derek knew the woman calling his name in the car next to them.  He was in a real rush to get out of that lot and seemed very sure he didn’t want Monique to meet her.   So are we to assume the one sister set them up with the “go see grandma right now” call right after the “bish imma kill u” call from the other sister? 

[Caseysgirl]

I’m trying so hard to like Monique because I don’t want to just judge her on her size or those outlandish eyelashes, but she’s just not very nice or savvy.  Why does she keep taking the bait from Derek’s family and just enjoy Derek for his enthusiasm and non judge mental enjoyment of her.  She’s focusing on all the wrong things and she looks like a bitch while doing it.

[JenE4]

I think that is cousin Jessica in the car, with psycho sister riding shotgun. Immediately after Monique stopped answering the sister’s calls, cousin Jessica says you need to go see grandma now. It’s totally a setup. The line of the night to me was Derek calling Monique “an internet gangster” with her Instagram wars.

My guess for the other cliffhanger is that Nathan has cleaned up and redecorated the bedroom, since he didn’t have that done in time for Skylar’s release.

[sempervivum]

Is 'Montana Mills' considered a good rapper? I'm old and mostly hate the kind of rap that's all 'Here I am barking out a bunch of rhyming words', which seemed to be what he was doing. Justine was loooving the idea of uprooting her family (and again depriving his kids of their father) to live in luxury in Las Vegas. Don't hold your breath, J.

Re. the 'cliffhanger' of the car following Mo and Li'l Man: I'd love to see Mo burst out her car door like Tai, ready to rumble-boobs akimbo-with the 2 wicked stepsisters, but she's more agile with her mouth and her texting fingers than her fists (or anything else, I suppose).

Speaking of boobs, am I the only who thought the design on Aris' tee shirt was of buttons in buttonholes? Also, I somehow didn't realize that Cameron is another tiny felon (are short guys over-represented in the prison population?)

Why did Ashley (? the sunburned cryer) work so hard to convince Travis that she was rolling in money? Looks like she spent all her capital on diamond ring pool toys and moonlight boat rides. Prediction: her next crying jag won't be due to overwhelming joy.

I think Skylar and Gracie are our first LAL convicts with vocal fry, right?

[Gobi]

5 hours ago, JenE4 said:

My guess for the other cliffhanger is that Nathan has cleaned up and redecorated the bedroom, since he didn’t have that done in time for Skylar’s release.

My guess is that it’s Nathan in the zombie makeup that we saw briefly in the preview.

[1011101010001]

9 hours ago, sempervivum said:

are short guys over-represented in the prison population

I thought they become the prison wives.

9 hours ago, sempervivum said:

I think Skylar and Gracie are our first LAL convicts with vocal fry, right?

So Gracie went awol from her job and she doesn’t think the folks at the halfway house will notice that her hair is radically different and wonder how/when that happened?  And if they don’t they won’t see the episode either?  Criminal mastermind this one.

9 hours ago, Gobi said:

My guess is that it’s Nathan in the zombie makeup that we saw briefly in the preview

So her last two boyfriends died and now he thinks it’s funny to play (un)dead?

[Pepper Mostly]

On 1/15/2023 at 12:47 AM, Drogo said:

  
Something about Travis fulfilling his dream of using a metal detector on a beach made me happy.  This dude robbed a bank… for $3K.  A mastermind, he ain’t.
 

He did have enough self awareness to say, sheepishly, that he's "not very good at robbing". Maybe this tiny ember will become a spark. 

[Back Atcha]

On 1/14/2023 at 11:24 PM, Caseysgirl said:

I’m trying so hard to like Monique because I don’t want to just judge her on her size or those outlandish eyelashes,

Those outlandish eyelashes are so common in my area I'm beginning to think it's a REQUIREMENT for any female wanting to be hired at fast-food places.  The variations are intriguing.  Perhaps if the applicant isn't wearing them during the interview, she'll be asked if she owns any...or is willing to buy and wear them every day.  I'm 82 and hope they get bigger, spiky-er, more elaborate, and (soon) in NEON colors!  They're just fascinatin' !!!

[Elizzikra]

14 hours ago, Back Atcha said:

Those outlandish eyelashes are so common in my area I'm beginning to think it's a REQUIREMENT for any female wanting to be hired at fast-food places.  The variations are intriguing.  Perhaps if the applicant isn't wearing them during the interview, she'll be asked if she owns any...or is willing to buy and wear them every day.  I'm 82 and hope they get bigger, spiky-er, more elaborate, and (soon) in NEON colors!  They're just fascinatin' !!!

I had some that were purple and actually kind of cool. They weren't bright purple but sort of purple-hued and brought out the green in my eyes. Alas I'm allergic to the eyelash glue and only wore them once. 

[Back Atcha]

16 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I had some that were purple and actually kind of cool. They weren't bright purple but sort of purple-hued and brought out the green in my eyes.

In the 80s I had some BLUE mascara...so nice because people said, "Is THAT blue?"  Sadly, it made my blue eyes (normally had nice comments) look gray.

[1011101010001]

On 1/19/2023 at 4:14 PM, Back Atcha said:

In the 80s I had some BLUE mascara...so nice because people said, "Is THAT blue?"  Sadly, it made my blue eyes (normally had nice comments) look gray.

Don’t it make my blue eyes gray.