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Manzo'd With Children - General Discussion


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There was a letter once in Dear Abby or Ann Landers. The person was debating going to college at their age. I can't recall if it was a man or woman. They were stuck on the age they would be when they received the degree. Ann, or Abby replied, how old would you be if you didn't do it?  Wisdom escapes the Manzos.

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11 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Chris said his biggest regret was that he didn't go to college.  Is there a New Jersey law that limits the age at which you can go to college?  Chris, if you truly regret not going before, go now, dumb ass.

Especially since he's not doing anything else with his life. Oh, I forgot. Writing bestsellers and being the jokester on this show takes up all his time. 

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OF COURSE they approach a company called "Eat Clean Bro."

I confess that I avoid this show like a blk-stained plague. However I caught a couple episodes and I'm just left with so many (perhaps hyperbolic) questions.

* When did Crittofer become a motivated,  can-do guy? Did I miss something? If not, who was Caroline talking about?

* Why does Vito have to have a deli in Manhattan? Admittedly it's been a while since I visited NY, but it didn't seem like there was a shortage of authentic Italian delis. And certainly real estate in Jersey is cheaper than Manhattan. Right?

* "We'll use your supply chain, your manufacturer, all your stuff, and slap our name on it. And then sell it. And you should be excited, Eat Clean Bro! Promise we'll get you 1000 people. Look at my track record." Really?

* The best place to announce your breast cancer scare is at your kid's televised milestone birthday party? Really?

Now excuse me while I go watch something intellectual, like the last season of Vanderpump Rules.

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1 hour ago, hummingbird said:

for some reason I got suckered into watching this clusterf--k, and came here to read comments.

Me too.  Such a stupid show.

Chris book:  I am a librarian and this book seems to be published by a company that is a step above a self-publisher.  No professional reviews at all.  Not a good thing for children's books.  Illustrations are good but the publisher has no idea of type size for children.  This is always the first clue to librarians.  Oh look, they found the two books they donated to the public library on the shelf.  Should have only held up one.  Most libraries buy 1 copy of a new author and new authors are told to donate 2 to public libraries.  So.........

San Francisco/Greg and the boys:  OMG someone come out already.  Chris seems to be screaming it's him but Albie gives a vibe too.

Albie:  You all have said it well.  I can't believe he is going to be a business man and trying to be a go-between between Vito and an investor.  He has failed at everything.  This should go well..........................

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Could we rename this show to "Caro and her Failure Children"?  The reason none of them are in college is that actually takes work and motivation.  These people are going to ride the reality fame wagon until the horses croak.  They are going to desperately attach their name to any business venture hoping one sticks.  Caro has raised three losers and they will always be that way unless they escape their mother.

My friend grew up in NJ with a lot less then these turds and was able to go to med school (Rutgers) and become a very productive member of society.

Also, none of them have the discipline to run a legitimate business.  Daddy and Mommy will buy them businesses and they will just slap their names on them and let their "fame" do the rest.  That will be the extent of their hard work.

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8 minutes ago, hummingbird said:

@jumper sage

I thought that was odd as well,

only books like H Potter get multiple copies purchased.

Now you know the trick.  In picture books they only time you will see multiple copies is if the book is an award winner (Caldecott, MLK etc) or if the demand is very, very high ie. Pinkalicious, Fancy Nancy or a classic like Dr. Seuss.

I am so sick of every entertainer/celeb dlister writing kids books.  They are usually very crappy and not worth the money to purchase at the library because many parents and kids are really interested in good literature so the "celeb" book sits on a shelf and then sent to the used book sale.

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What kind of an ass is Al, Sr. to tell Crittofer that he would be upset if he moved away from NJ? Pretty weird coming from a father that was never there during these kids childhoods because he was always working, which Albie made clear in one episode and I have heard them say before that Caro was pretty much a single mom while they were growing up. Big deal that Crittofer bought himself a car at the age of 27. Whoop Dee Doo. 

Not that I'm against Critt moving out of the state, but why does he need to do that in order to write books? It makes no sense to me. Has he really been sheltered that much all of his life? I know a lot of people that live their entire lives not far from where they were born (I'm not one of them) and they do just fine. Maybe he's just wants to get the hell away from his parents for a while and he's using the I want to be a better author so I need to experience more of the world excuse.  

Congrats to Lauren and Vito on the pregnancy and purchase of a home. 

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I like that Vito seems to care about Lauren, but I always give him a little side eye since he is part of the cult of Albie.

I remember when Vito told a long story on Real HW of New Jersey (with a giant wine stain on his shirt) about how he used to try to get girls to sleep with him in college by pretending he is Albie.

First, that is disgusting for a whole number of reasons that I do need to get into.

Second, You are going to expect me to believe that Albie had so much game that girls were lining up to sleep with some guy who pretended to be him?  Was he the long lost Jonas brother or something?

For those of you that have not seen this great story it starts with Vito pretending to be Albie and ends with the girl calling him out on it, because she had actually fucked Albie.

Again, adding to the legend of Albie the Great.

I do not think Vito is going to get respect until he is out of the mindset that he "married up" because Lauren is Albie's sister and part of the "Amazing Manzos".  I get the feeling that particularly, Big Al, feels this way.

Edited by qtpye
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On 10/31/2016 at 1:54 PM, LilaFowler said:

I'm guessing that Chris translated his editor's "get out and live" advice as "move across the country and let your rainbow flag fly."

I get that impression too.

 

On 10/31/2016 at 3:21 PM, qtpye said:

I like that Vito seems to care about Lauren, but I always give him a little side eye since he is part of the cult of Albie.

I remember when Vito told a long story on Real HW of New Jersey (with a giant wine stain on his shirt) about how he used to try to get girls to sleep with him in college by pretending he is Albie.

First, that is disgusting for a whole number of reasons that I do need to get into.

Second, You are going to expect me to believe that Albie had so much game that girls were lining up to sleep with some guy who pretended to be him?  Was he the long lost Jonas brother or something?

For those of you that have not seen this great story it starts with Vito pretending to be Albie and ends with the girl calling him out on it, because she had actually fucked Albie.

Again, adding to the legend of Albie the Great.

I do not think Vito is going to get respect until he is out of the mindset that he "married up" because Lauren is Albie's sister and part of the "Amazing Manzos".  I get the feeling that particularly, Big Al, feels this way.

I loved when Vito put the brakes on Albie's scheme.  "Now what do I do?" asked Albie - Maybe he can work FOR Vito.  Seems like Vito is the only one who has it going on.  I do agree with Lauren that the NJ market is very high and their property taxes are crazy.

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Vito is smart in not going along with Albie;s Manhattan sandwich shop scheme.  He was realistic about the commute, cost of real estate, and the fact that deli's are a dime a dozen in NYC.  This venture would take over a million dollars to get off the ground.  That is an insane risk.  Vito does not seem to be one for the get rich quick scheme.  Unlike Albie, he is a hard worker and  is willing to take the longer and slower road to success.  He will do what it takes to get to where he wants himself and family to be.  I just hope Lauren does not ruin everything by pushing Vito because she wants everything now.  

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I've always gotten the impression that Lauren settled for Vito because she was afraid no one else would marry her.  He seems to really love her, but, she always seems to just be tolerating him.  JMO, but in some ways, I think she thinks he's beneath her.  What makes him acceptable is his connection to Albie.

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The Manzo's are a blue collar family who happen to have money.  Albert's father, Tiny Manzo, established the Brownstone with money he earned by being a mob enforcer.  One can launder a lot of money in the restaurant business.  Lauren may think she married a blue collar deli owner who is beneath her but the reality is that she married up from her family.    

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Can you imagine if Albie ever brought home a female version of Vito.? A chubby nice girl from a good non mob related blue collar family who just wanted to live a simple life?

Scratch that...Albie only dates models and actresses from central casting.

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How do we know Vito and his family are blue collar? Isn't the family deli very successful? Maybe the Scalia's live a more low key life but who knows they may have plenty or even more than the Manzo's.

I do agree that Lauren  "settled" for Vito because he was the only guy who ever showed her any interest back when she was a miserable 'fat" girl and I'm sure that Caro told her she couldn't do any better. I remember how cruel Caro was to Lauren before she got lapband surgery and lost weight.  

Edited by bichonblitz
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I think blue collar is a difficult term to pin down in the modern age.  Both Vito and Albie come from a family of entrepreneurs and were the first ones in their immediate family to go to college.  When Caro and Big Al visited Vito's family deli, Vito's father made a joke about his son using his college degree to slice up meat for sandwiches (which is more then Albie ever did).

I think we are probably using blue collar in place of more humble or less flashy, when compared to the Manzos, with their custom made statement jewelry pieces to hand out to their children for Christmas.

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19 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Lauren's going to have to accept that she married a blue collar worker who likely isn't going to make white collar dollars.  I think her best bet would be to convince Vito to take over the Brownstone. 

Maybe 5 that's why she said SHE was the one interested in the business and not her brothers.X

I don't think Caroline listens to herself

https://mobile.twitter.com/Kateplusmy8/status/793202175719510016?p=v

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I'm the one who made the blue collar comment about the Scalia family.  Maybe working/middle class is a better term (or maybe not).  I don't know how well the deli does.  It looks like a very small store in a small area.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  I was just meant that Lauren is a spoiled brat who has had everything handed to her.  Of course she wants a large, expensive home the first year of marriage.  She married a man who works in his father's small deli, though.  Where will all this money come from that she's going to need to live lavishly? 

The Manzos make more money but still have to work to support their lifestyle.  If Big Al could retire and continue his life of luxury, he probably would have done it already.  Then again, that would mean that he'd be at home with Caroline all day, so maybe he wants to work until he's in the grave.  Crittopher's book money has probably run out by now, and Albie's latest scheme doesn't seem very promising.  I'm sure they'll be back on Daddy's payroll before long, if they aren't already. 

Edited by LilaFowler
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I doubt the Critter had any book money to begin with.  Maybe if he paid upfront to have it published and sold a hundred or so copies on Amazon as a result of the show and "fans", he got enough money for a medium pie and a pitcher of beers.  And only if he can get an employee discount at the place they attached their name to but no dollar investment that I think still exists in Hoboken (same ownership but I think they changed the name and theme of the place).  No one is handing out advances to the child of a Bravolebrity for a children's book.  Let alone a publisher that has a catalog on Amazon that is suspiciously light and actually had no books published for several years.  Again reading their online presence it looks like one of the small print on demand publishers that sprang up in the slight bubble that Amazon created and made publishing easier.  They didn't really make a go of it but were able to hold onto the license and name and likely either sold that to someone who now does pay to publish from the looks of the other titles they offer since the reboot.  Again.  If money changed hands it was the other way around and they got to keep the backlist or the owners simply revamped the firm themselves. 

I'm guessing there is a spot in the attic or garage that holds the cases of the books that were published and he submits so many to Amazon on consignment and re-supplies as needed.  Plus it is not even offered in Kindle format.  So there is a good chance they are still out of pocket on this and he might be getting money back in but it is not in the black.  Books are not easy money, let alone kids books where brick and mortar stores and libraries are the chief venues still. 

 

Does Tommy(?) Manzo have any kids?  And how many siblings are there in the Manzo family.  It could be that Albert doesn't have final say in who gets the Brownstone and the refusal to dirty their hands at the family shop might make the rest of the extended family who have a financial stake in it raise more than eyebrows at the idea of Vito stepping in.  Though I think Vito is the only one of that generation to have a real work ethic.  Hangs around his wife and in-laws enough that might change. 

I feel like Albie is just a year or two away from sitting in a heavy ugly sweater, complaining about a draft while he fusses over more cats than a person should own while trying to read the clues on Jeopardy over the half lens of his glasses.  While to his side Caroline yells out answers before Trebek gets through asking them and of course her answers are completely wrong.  Chris is off in California doing essentially the same type of entry level job he had as a teen at the Brownstone and at less pay and no benefits. Actually he is doing two such jobs since one alone doesn't pay the rent.   Lauren is slowly poisoning Vito by slipping small drops of antifreeze in his dinner.   Albert finally ran off and found his mistress he gave up for the show and is happily playing with his metal detector on the beaches in the US Virgin Islands. So far he found a Timex an old dead cell phone from the late nineties and a "gold chain" from a Mall Jewelry Kiosk that has most of the gold plating rubbed off.

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On 10/31/2016 at 7:26 AM, jumper sage said:

Now you know the trick.  In picture books they only time you will see multiple copies is if the book is an award winner (Caldecott, MLK etc) or if the demand is very, very high ie. Pinkalicious, Fancy Nancy or a classic like Dr. Seuss.

I am so sick of every entertainer/celeb dlister writing kids books.  They are usually very crappy and not worth the money to purchase at the library because many parents and kids are really interested in good literature so the "celeb" book sits on a shelf and then sent to the used book sale.

And it's not like anyone aside from a handful of writers is going to get rich off one children's book--let alone one published by a rando publisher--and start a new life off it? I guess the odds are better than sitting at home snarking on family and hoping to get rich, but whatevs. LOL

Edited by ivygirl
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But Caroline was sooooo proud he bought himself a car.

And the theatrics over her announcement that the tests showed she has an infection, not cancer, were cringe worthy, just awful.

And we end with Caroline announcing she is going to be a grandma. Not, Lauren and Vito are having a baby, nope.

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On 10/28/2016 at 11:31 PM, Bronzedog said:

Chris said his biggest regret was that he didn't go to college.  Is there a New Jersey law that limits the age at which you can go to college?  Chris, if you truly regret not going before, go now, dumb ass.

My sister went back to school to finish her bachelors which she did partine at 38. She then went to law school. In total 8 years of school. She was done by 46 

He is a lazy idiot.  I don't know if they did but his parents should have encouraged him to go.  He has the money from the show so he could afford it. Plus mommy and daddy will be there too ugh

Edited by Bubbles1967
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It is very odd.  Most people in New Jersey on the economic level of the Manzos find education to be extremely important.  Do not get me wrong, I in no way believe a college degree makes you successful (just look at Albie), but it is so odd that there is no intellectual curiosity among this brood.  Just a bunch of lazy get rich quick schemes.

I know Caro and Big Al have money without the degrees, but in my experience, these are the type of people who most value their children going to college and getting to have that experience.

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On 11/1/2016 at 6:39 PM, ginger90 said:

Oh don't worry, Albie has "a killer bod" and has a new scheme:

https://mobile.twitter.com/AlbieManzo/status/793165377207410692

OMG! So basically a frozen entree for $9.95?  I wonder if it arrives with a bottle of BLK water.  He really is a loser.

On 11/2/2016 at 9:17 PM, movingtargetgal said:

The Manzo's are a blue collar family who happen to have money.  Albert's father, Tiny Manzo, established the Brownstone with money he earned by being a mob enforcer.  One can launder a lot of money in the restaurant business.  Lauren may think she married a blue collar deli owner who is beneath her but the reality is that she married up from her family.    

@movingtargetgal - I love you!

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Lauren had her baby last night. I don't watch the show much and don't follow the family outside of here.  Why are people saying she used a surrogate? I'm reading that she never posted any baby belly pictures or anything so people think she used a surrogate because of that. 

It does seem weird for somebody like her who lives to be on camera to not milk the pregnancy for all its worth but that doesn't mean she wasn't pregnant. 

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I would guess that, even though she has lived much of her life on camera, she didn't want people going on about her weight while  she was pregnant.  She is in a damned if she does, damned if  she doesn't situation when it comes to her weight.  If she stayed thin, then people would accuse her of not eating enough while pregnant because she was worried about weight gain.  If she looked heavy, then she would be criticized for gaining too much weight.  I can't stand her or her family, but I can certainly understand not wanting to deal with excessive body shaming while pregnant 

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(edited)

We have two elderly parents with maybe some Mob connections, who are amazingly proud of their useless loser children (maybe not Lauren).  Will Albie and Chris now have to work in the Brownstone (horror) now that their hopes of being Z list reality show celebrities are done?

I think "if you won an award" the crew would let you keep that glory.

Edited by qtpye
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