Season 24 Live Feeds Discussion

[Callaphera]

I like how we're all sharing our "I wiped my own butt" stories. Big Brother: bringing us all together. By our butts.

[30 Helens]

2 minutes ago, Lucas Rowan said:

Daniel and Nicole have both agreed that a big, strong guy has to go this week.  

And that’s Pooch?

Nobody has ever wiped my butt. Even as a baby, I was like, “get your hands out of my diaper. I can do it.” 

And why does Jasmine even need a wiper? Is the Kaysar Memorial Bidet out of service? 

[Lady Whistleup]

7 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

And that’s Pooch?

Nobody has ever wiped my butt. Even as a baby, I was like, “get your hands out of my diaper. I can do it.” 

And why does Jasmine even need a wiper? Is the Kaysar Memorial Bidet out of service? 

Jas is just incredibly lazy. Today she was sitting down in the kitchen and told Indy to stop whatever Indy was doing to go upstairs to the HoH room to get Jas some cupcakes. When Indy returned Jas didn't even thank her nor did she offer anyone the cupcakes.

[Callaphera]

7 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

Is the Kaysar Memorial Bidet out of service? 

By all accounts, it's still there. IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Also LOL I want the bidet to have a small plaque next to it with that title.

It's been almost an hour since I learned about the butt wiping and I'm still not over it. Please send help.

[Blissfool]

I fractured my elbow 2 yrs ago and I still wiped my own butt!

Jasmine really took the lyrics to the song Dem Bones to heart.

Edited July 16, 2022 by Blissfool

[Callaphera]

Anytime someone posts about a HG kissing the HOHs ass, it's gonna hit differently now.

[30 Helens]

2 minutes ago, Callaphera said:

Anytime someone posts about a HG kissing the HOHs ass, it's gonna hit differently now.

Well, let’s just hope Nicole gets there with some toilet paper first.

[Callaphera]

Somewhere in the world, Raven is absolutely losing her shit (heh) because she didn't think to get anyone to wipe her butt when she was in the house after she threw herself down the stairs fell.

I'm not letting this go, people. It's like the poop hands salad or the pantyliner chips or Amanda and McCrae's stained mattress or Austin's beard and unwashed everything. Four seasons from now, we're going to be posting merrily about the new crop of HGs and one of them will say ass and someone (let's be real, it'll be me) will come in with "HEY DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHEN NICOLE WIPED JASMINE'S ASS FOR HER FRFR?" I imagine this is how people felt about the Moon landing or JFK getting shot back in the day - where were you when history happened, only this is shittier (i'm sorry jesus)

Edited July 16, 2022 by Callaphera

[CrazyDog]

I'm really trying (and thanks for this thought process, BB) to understand why someone with a sprained ankle needs someone to wipe their ass. I really hope they're exaggerating. 

It's only week 2? Yowsa. The excitement is truly building.

[Callaphera]

Raven's back! I might just do a 180 on Jasmine - I have to see how she dances first.

[30 Helens]

1 minute ago, CrazyDog said:

I'm really trying (and thanks for this thought process, BB) to understand why someone with a sprained ankle needs someone to wipe their ass.

Not someone, Jasmine. Less than 24 hours in the HoH room, and the queen is already assembling a sizeable court. She has Terrance to hold her crutches, Monte to carry her up and down the stairs, and now Nicole to stand by with a roll of toilet paper and a spray bottle of PooPourri.  Applications are still being taken for attendants to cut her food, do her laundry, and wash her hair. 

[Callaphera]

9 minutes ago, CrazyDog said:

I'm really trying (and thanks for this thought process, BB) to understand why someone with a sprained ankle needs someone to wipe their ass. I really hope they're exaggerating. 

It's only week 2? Yowsa. The excitement is truly building.

NGL I read that as "The excrement is truly building" and I was about to go in search of a standing ovation gif.

Edited July 16, 2022 by Callaphera

[HurricaneVal]

I.....what?  Her ankle isn't even broken, just rolled or sprained.  Hell, I rolled my ankle badly a couple weeks ago and it still twinges if I step wrong, and I have no problem wiping my own ass.  I get it.  It hurts.  Bracing yourself to get the leverage can be painful, but FFS!  Two years ago my pain was (no exaggeration) dialed to a Spinal Tap 11/10 from a bursting appendix and I still managed a full pre-surgery trip to the toilet, complete with personally administered personal hygiene. Post surgery as well, even after needing a walker and ten minutes to hobble to the bathroom just across the room.

Anyways....I just watched the eviction episode. 

Jasmine's foot totally touched the mat.

Compared to the craziness y'all posted about here, Paloma's DOR was depicted as a small case of sleep deprivation, and Paloma merely made a personal choice to go nap.  In the scenes they showed, Paloma seemed almost zen and zombie-like.  But from what I've read from you feedsters, she was anything but.

But good God....the wailing, the rending, the sobbing!

Taylor has made some early game mistakes, but I do think she seems savvy--that might be the pageant experience--because she clearly caught Paloma's bullshit.  She truly doesn't seem to be in danger this week, even though she's on the block.  I really hope she gets on the ball and fixes her situation.  My heart just went out to her when she was so devastated at hearing she had been deemed "mean" or whatever.  But I loved it that she flat out told Paloma she was being rude.  That was satisfying.

[30 Helens]

Jasmine was Homecoming Queen in high school. This also entitled her to receive another class title, but she passed it along to another less fortunate girl because Jasmine is nothing if not a benevolent ruler.

[Alice Mudgarden]

44 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Jas is just incredibly lazy. Today she was sitting down in the kitchen and told Indy to stop whatever Indy was doing to go upstairs to the HoH room to get Jas some cupcakes. When Indy returned Jas didn't even thank her nor did she offer anyone the cupcakes.

I mean, there's lazy and then there's "get a stranger to wipe my ass" lazy.

[Callaphera]

Place your bets now: how many times has Jasmine's mom been hit by lightning while breaking the land speed record for half-marathons on her way to a Mensa meeting?

Edited July 16, 2022 by Callaphera

[Alice Mudgarden]

Just now, Callaphera said:

Place your bets now: how many times has Jasmine's mom been hit by lightning while breaking the land speed record for half-marathons?

We have to ask the important questions here: what's her GPA and is it dance?

[Callaphera]

1 minute ago, Alice Mudgarden said:

We have to ask the important questions here: what's her GPA and is it dance?

And does she prefer her pork chops medium rare?

In the span of five minutes, I went from I HATE THIS BITCH to OH GOD I THINK I LOVE HER.

[30 Helens]

Well, upon hearing that Alyssa was also homecoming queen, Jasmine felt the need to add that her coronation happened on the same day she became homeless.

TOP THAT, ALYSSA.

[Alice Mudgarden]

Holy shit, this means Jasmine is this season's puppetmaster.

[Callaphera]

Just now, 30 Helens said:

Well, upon hearing that Alyssa was also homecoming queen, Jasmine felt the need to add that her coronation happened on the same day she became homeless.

I think, after Alyssa said she was waving on her float, Jasmine said that she fell off hers into the mud and her dad (?) dragged her (?).

It's official: I stan.

[Alice Mudgarden]

I haven't turned on the feeds in a few days but this new Jasmine development may change things. She better not let me down.

[Callaphera]

I did hear that right.

https://twitter.com/hamsterwatch/status/1548185933001789443

Start making the list, guys. It took both Raven and Caleb a little while to warm up with the tall tales. Jasmine is hitting the ground running. I wonder if Jasmine's mom will threaten to sue me, too...

[30 Helens]

1 minute ago, Alice Mudgarden said:

She better not let me down.

Not to worry. She’ll just command Monte to carry you.

[Alice Mudgarden]

"... that's also the night we became homeless, tho."

SHE JUST THREW THAT IN THERE ALL CASUAL LIKE.

[Callaphera]

Someone is using #JasmineWalton on Twitter and I'm dying now. This is the best development ever.

Update: Jasmine claimed that professional athletes have slid into her DMs before. I'm not sure Chuck, the guy who haunts Lane 6 at the local Bowlarama on half priced wing night counts as a professional but go you, Ravmine!

Edited July 16, 2022 by Callaphera

[Alice Mudgarden]

I don't want to believe we've been this blessed twice. I can't get my hopes up like that.

[Maverick]

[Callaphera]

Raven's spirit has possessed Jasmine, Descartes had possessed Paloma (RIP), and now Paloma's spirit has possessed Daniel because he is paranoid as fuck and thinks that Taylor is a plant to spy on his game.

[Mediocre Gatsby]

Daniel was complaining (I couldn't see to whom) that when Paloma was there, Taylor wouldn't leave her alone and now that Paloma's gone, Taylor is doing the same thing to him. I'm hoping to see Taylor hand him that videotape from "The Ring" next.

[Callaphera]

1 minute ago, Lucas Rowan said:

So . . . why is Jasmine suddenly getting praised and beatified for her tall tales while Raven was nothing but criticized and vilified for hers?

I praised and beatified Raven, too. I love my batshit crackpots that suffer from One-Up-itis.

[Alice Mudgarden]

1 minute ago, Callaphera said:

I praised and beatified Raven, too. I love my batshit crackpots that suffer from One-Up-itis.

Word. Raven's in rarefied air with how utterly bug nuts and ridiculous she is. She was a true gift.

[30 Helens]

Pooch hopped onto the HoH bed and started spooning Joseph, and now he’s gently squeezing his bicep. Good thing Turner is not here to see this.

[30 Helens]

Jasmine doesn’t do dildoes. Or vibrators. If it’s not real, she doesn’t want it.

Indy just said what we’re all thinking: it took 6 months to come up with this cast, and this is the best they could do?

[HighQueenEB]

41 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

Well, upon hearing that Alyssa was also homecoming queen, Jasmine felt the need to add that her coronation happened on the same day she became homeless.

TOP THAT, ALYSSA.

Orphaned.  Always wins everything.  But you can only use that once a day.  Just ask Phoebe Buffet.

I'm floored by this Jasmine turn of events.  Sprained ankle three times and broken foot once and I managed to wipe my own rear each time I had to use the bathroom.  Criminy, use the bidet, woman!

But, yes, she's hitting Raven levels of tall tale telling, and Raven left Victoria in the DUST.
 

[Callaphera]

Nicole: "Jesus Christmas."
Daniel: "Do you like Christmas?"
Nicole: "Not as much as I like Thanksgiving."
Me: "YES. Drag that bit.... oh, wait, you meant the actual holiday."

[mertensia]

2 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

Jasmine doesn’t do dildoes. Or vibrators. If it’s not real, she doesn’t want it.

Indy just said what we’re all thinking: it took 6 months to come up with this cast, and this is the best they could do?

Just imagine the loons they had to turn down.

[Callaphera]

4 minutes ago, 30 Helens said:

Jasmine doesn’t do dildoes. Or vibrators. If it’s not real, she doesn’t want it.

Indy, Taylor, and Ameerah all tried to or asked if they could bring vibrators in the house. Production told them no.

[Callaphera]

Jasmine needs FIVE PEOPLE to help her butt scoot down the stairs when she's called to the DR.

Raven? Survived the zombie apocalypse because of her two hearts and still made it downstairs for coffee.

[Alice Mudgarden]

1 minute ago, Callaphera said:

Indy, Taylor, and Ameerah all tried to or asked if they could bring vibrators in the house. Production told them no.

Granted, we're wiping housemate asses after a mere week, but I think hearing a muffled buzz and realizing someone's trying to get off in the bed next to you while you attempt to sleep would be an awkward level of ick.

[30 Helens]

Jasmine got called to DR. Now she’s calling for a manservant to carry her. And.. heeere’s Daniiel!

She scooters down the hall, followed by her entourage. Now they’re watching her scoot her ass down the stairs, one step at a time. Literally. On her ass. Showing bravery and pluckiness all the way. I guess she thought Daniel would drop her? (I was hoping Daniel would drop her.) At the bottom of the steps, Pooch helps her up and acts as a human crutch as she completes the long and arduous journey to the DR. Our heroine!

[Callaphera]

Just now, Alice Mudgarden said:

Granted, we're wiping housemate asses after a mere week, but I think hearing a muffled buzz and realizing someone's trying to get off in the bed next to you while you attempt to sleep would be an awkward level of ick.

Also who needs a showmance when you have Mr. Buzzy?

[HighQueenEB]

Just now, Callaphera said:

Jasmine needs FIVE PEOPLE to help her butt scoot down the stairs when she's called to the DR.

So, I see Indy filling one of the Spotter roles, and her arms is crossed as though she is carrying something...  Jasmine's water bottle?

[Callaphera]

Just now, HighQueenEB said:

So, I see Indy filling one of the Spotter roles, and her arms is crossed as though she is carrying something...  Jasmine's water bottle?

One for the water bottle, one for the scooter, two for Jasmine's ego, one in case she needs an emergency butt wipe.

[30 Helens]

Just now, Callaphera said:

Also who needs a showmance when you have Mr. Buzzy?

Exactly. A room full of attractive people clutching their battery-powered appliances instead of each other= production’s worst nightmare.

[HighQueenEB]

Just now, Callaphera said:

One for the water bottle, one for the scooter, two for Jasmine's ego, one in case she needs an emergency butt wipe.

Which is all but guaranteed since she butt-sat her way down the stairs.  

I mean, sure, I butt-sat my way down our stairs when I had the first sprained ankle, but that's because my brothers were jerks and wouldn't help me even though THEY caused it!

[Callaphera]

Poochie: "I haven't felt a woman's touch for decades."
Ameerah: "Decades? Since you were born?"
Poochie: "And I'm a Have Not and on the block."

Too bad Jasmine is in the DR. I want to hear how she one-ups that one.

[HighQueenEB]

2 minutes ago, Callaphera said:

Poochie: "I haven't felt a woman's touch for decades."
Ameerah: "Decades? Since you were born?"
Poochie: "And I'm a Have Not and on the block."

Too bad Jasmine is in the DR. I want to hear how she one-ups that one.

She too has never felt a woman's touch.  Or a man's touch until her wedding night.  Duh!  She was the virgin homecoming queen!  🤣

[30 Helens]

1 minute ago, Callaphera said:

Too bad Jasmine is in the DR. I want to hear how she one-ups that one.

“You guuuys, I got splinters in my butt when I was going down the stairs. Does anyone have some tweezers?… Thanks! No, you can just hand them to Nicole.”

[Callaphera]

Just now, HighQueenEB said:

She was the homeless virgin homecoming queen that was drug in the mud by her daddy!  🤣

FTFY

Sounds like a country song tbh.