Mewling Quotes

[DollEyes]

This is the thread that's burdened with the glorious purpose of celebrating Loki quotes, such as the one where Loki has to sign the paperwork confirming everything he's ever said:

Drone (to Loki): "Please sign here. It's a document of everything you've ever said."

Loki: "What?" [Piece of paper comes down, with the word"What?"]  

Post your picks for the best Loki quotes here.

 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"You are now moving at one-sixteenth speed, but feeling all that pain in real time."

[Spartan Girl]

“It’s been a long day, and I’ve had my fill of idiots in armor telling me what to do.”

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"What's a fish?!"

".....You're kidding, right?"

"I spend most of my time behind a desk."

Poor Casey. 😛

Edited June 9, 2021 by Cobalt Stargazer

[paigow]

Not exactly a quote, but if this was HBO, Loki Cooper winking at the flight attendant would ring the sexytime bell.

Edited June 9, 2021 by paigow

[Spartan Girl]

Loki: I’m going to burn this place to the ground.

Mobius: I’ll show you where my desk is, you can start there.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Loki's last line, just....makes me insides currrrl up! 

"I beg your pardon?" when Mobius tells Loki HE is the variant they're chasing.

What? Whaaaat?

Edited June 9, 2021 by GHScorpiosRule

[bettername2come]

TVA agent: Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.

Loki: What? "To my knowledge"? Do a lot of people not know if they're robots?

TVA agent: Thank you for confirming. Move through.

Loki: What if I was a robot and I didn't know it?

TVA agent: The machine would melt you from the inside out. Please move along, sir.

Loki: Okay, I'm not a robot, so I'll be fine.

[Spartan Girl]

Judge: Are you guilty or not?

Liki: Guilty of being the gif of mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. But guilty of crimes against the sacred timeline? Absolutely not, you’ve got the wrong person?

Tom’s whole delivery was just *chef’s kiss*. And the there’s this:

Steve: On my down to coordinate search and rescue.

Loki (imitating him in a dumb robot voice): On my way down to coordinate search and rescue! (himself again) Honestly, how do you keep your food do—?

Thor (gags him): Shut. Up.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[tv echo]

Quotes of the Week: New Amsterdam, Loki, The Bold Type, Manifest and More
By Team TVLine / June 13 2021
https://tvline.com/lists/new-amsterdam-max-voicemail-message-helen-best-tv-quotes/

Quote

LOKI
...
“Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature and do, in fact, possess what many cultures would call a soul.”

“What? To my knowledge? Do a lot of people not know if they’re robots?”

Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is asked some existentially befuddling questions upon arriving at the Time Variance Authority

LOKI (Bonus Quote!)
...
“You see, I only came into possession of the Tesseract because [the Avengers] traveled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to god king.”

“That’s quite an accusation.”

“Oh, believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks.”

The Avengers’ resident genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist might want to be more subtle the next time he bends the time-space continuum

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by tv echo

[KittenPokerCheater]

To whomever came up with the title of this thread, I salute you and say, "Well played."

[minamurray78]

"Absolutely not! This is fine Asgardian leather."

[paigow]

On 6/9/2021 at 11:59 AM, Cobalt Stargazer said:

"What's a fish?!"

Asgardians do not know the difference between rabbits and raccoons... so Loki might make things worse...

[Spartan Girl]

Loki: What do you say…Loki?

Lady Loki/Randy: Ugh, don’t call me that. You can call me…Randy.

Loki: God, now I understand why Thor found this so annoying.

[TimothyQ]

Mobius: Why do all the people you can’t trust always say, “Trust me”?

Loki: I miss Randy. 

[tv echo]

Loki: "Where there are wolves’ ears, wolves’ teeth are near."

(This is apparently a Viking quote that means the "more attention you pay to your surroundings, the safer you are going to be.")

Edited June 16, 2021 by tv echo

[pezgirl7]

Season 1, episode 2:

Loki: I'd never stab anyone in the back. That's such a boring form of betrayal.

Loki: Be free my horned friends! Be free!

[SnarkShark]

I can't wait for Owen Wilson to actually say "Wow", so it can be posted here! 

[Llywela]

On 6/10/2021 at 11:29 PM, bettername2come said:

Loki: Okay, I'm not a robot, so I'll be fine.

Leftover trauma from discovering at something like 1500 years old that he is, in fact, a Frost Giant, not an Asgardian, and no one had ever told him...

[minamurray78]

- Do you have candy on Asgard?

- Yeah. Grapes, nuts.

- No wonder you´re so bitter.

[tv echo]

Quotes of the Week: Batwoman, iCarly, Fear the Walking Dead, Conan and More
By Team TVLine / June 20 2021,
https://tvline.com/lists/loki-candy-on-asgard-best-tv-quotes/ 

Quote

LOKI
...
“What’s that?”

“Candy. Do you have candy on Asgard?”

“Yeah. Grapes, nuts.”

“No wonder you’re so bitter.”

Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is mystified by a pack of Kablooie chewing gum

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by tv echo

[tv echo]

From episode 3...

Loki (to Lady Loki): "You're trying to enchant me? It won't work... My mind is too strong." 

Lady Loki: "Don't call me 'Variant.'"
Loki: "I'm sorry about not calling some faded photocopy of me 'Loki.'"
Lady Loki: "Good. 'Cause that's not who I am anymore. I'm Sylvie now."
Loki: "You changed your name. Brilliant."
Sylvie: "It's called an alias."
Loki: "That's not very Loki-like."
Sylvie: "Yeah? What exactly makes a Loki a Loki?"
Loki: "Independence. Authority. Style."

Loki: "Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile."

Loki: "Love is a dagger. It's a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful... until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it, -"
Sylvie: "It isn't real. Love is an imaginary dagger."
Loki: "It doesn't make sense, does it?"
Sylvie: "No. Terrible metaphor."
Loki: "Damn. Thought I had something there."

Edited June 24, 2021 by tv echo

[Cobalt Stargazer]

On 6/24/2021 at 8:50 AM, tv echo said:

Loki: "Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile."

Unless you get shot two minutes later. XD

[tv echo]

Quotes of the Week: Good Girls, Evil, Superman & Lois, Blacklist and More
By Team TVLine / June 27 2021
https://tvline.com/lists/the-blacklist-finale-lollipop-guild-best-tv-quotes/ 

Quote

LOKI
...
“Listen, neither of us is getting off this rock if we can’t get that TemPad turned on.”

“Where do you have it hidden?”

“In my heart.”

“Well, then, I’ll cut it out!”

“Nice. Very droll. Lovely.”

Would you believe Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) could actually tolerate each other by the end of this episode?

 

Edited June 27, 2021 by tv echo

[tv echo]

From episode 4...

Loki: "By the way, I should have an equal amount of security. This is insulting!"

Mobius: “Two variants of the same being, especially you, forming this kind of sick twisted romantic relationship? That’s pure chaos! That could break reality. It’s breaking my reality right now! What an incredible seismic narcissist! You fell for yourself!”

Hunter B-15: "For all time. Always."

Edited June 30, 2021 by tv echo

[paigow]

Since the writing staff seems to love Michael Biehn...

Old Loki: Come with me if you want to live

[tv echo]

From episode 5...

Classic Loki: "This is the Void. That is Alioth. And we’re his lunch. Come on!”

Loki: "'Don't die' isn't a plan. It's a general demand of living. If you're Lokis, you should always have a plan!"

Classic Loki: "And we, my friend, have but one part to play. The God of Outcasts!"

Loki: "We may be good at surviving. But we're also good at escaping."

Mobius: "You throw a rock out here, you hit a Loki."

Loki: "Listen, Sylvie. I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother, my home. I know what I did. And I know why I did it. But that's not who I am anymore. Okay? I won't let you down."

Edited July 7, 2021 by tv echo

[Spartan Girl]

Loki: It’s been a very trying few days…months? I don’t even know how long it’s been since New York. And I wake up here, and I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find that strange!

Loki: So you didn’t try to stab (Thanos)? 
Classic Loki: Certainly not. Take no offense, my friends, but blades are worthless in the face of a Loki sorcery.
Loki: But they’re really cool.
Classic Loki: Especially when they clatter to the ground just before your neck is snapped.

Lots of shade being thrown at the Russos there! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Classic Loki final words: GLORIOUS PURPOSE!

Edited July 7, 2021 by Spartan Girl

[bettername2come]

On 7/7/2021 at 12:43 PM, Spartan Girl said:

Loki: It’s been a very trying few days…months? I don’t even know how long it’s been since New York. And I wake up here, and I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find that strange!

I hate that the subtitles simplified the end of this to "which sadly I didn't find all that strange."

Classic Loki: We're in a shark tank. Alioth is the shark.

Alligator Loki: ( Growls )

Classic Loki: Oh, there's no such thing as an alligator tank. Besides, it's a better metaphor. He's overly sensitive like the rest of us.

Our Loki: Hang on, that thing's a Loki too?

Classic Loki: Oh, yes.

Our Loki: Okay, fine. Willing to accept that. Why are there so many of you?

Classic Loki: Because Lokis survive. That's just what we do.

*

Our Loki: What was your Nexus event, Your Majesty?

Kid Loki: I killed Thor.

*

Classic Loki: That's alligator for growling and saying "Liar" at the same time. 

*

Loki in a Vest: Why you beef-witted, half-faced scrubs. We had a deal!

*

Our Loki: Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, these are my friends. Well, they're, um... How best to put this? Us as a child, us in the future, and us as an alligator. It's best not to question it.

*

Classic Loki: You really don't remember him?

Mobius: I mean, the TVA arrested a lot of Lokis, but, no, I don't remember an alligator. I mean, who's to say he's even a Loki Variant?

Classic Loki: He is green, isn't he?

Mobius: I don't know, he could be lying. The long con. Of course, that just makes him more likely to be a Loki. It's always the game within the game with you guys, which I respect. 

[bethy]

9 hours ago, bettername2come said:

Our Loki: What was your Nexus event, Your Majesty?

Kid Loki: I killed Thor.

Part of what I loved about this exchange was the hint of mockery/condescension  in Loki’s voice when he asked the question, then the “dayum” expression on his face at the answer. Like he wasn’t even sure how he felt about that turn of events.

[tv echo]

Quotes of the Week: Loki, Virgin River, grown-ish, Love Island and More
By Team TVLine / July 11 2021
https://tvline.com/lists/loki-episode-5-i-killed-thor-best-tv-quotes/ 

Quote

LOKI
...
“You’ll do well to respect the boy. This is his kingdom.”

“Right. What was your nexus event, Your Majesty?”

“I killed Thor.”

Kid Loki (Jack Veal) drops the proverbial Mjölnir on his skeptical counterpart (Tom Hiddleston)
*  *  *
LOKI (Bonus Quote!)
...
“Thank you, my friend.”

“[whispers to Sylvie] You’re my favorite!”

Just as Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and Mobius (Owen Wilson) are hugging goodbye, Mobius lets Sylvie know she’s his preferred variant

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by tv echo

[tv echo]

From episode 6...

Mobius: "One man's Void is another man's piece of cake."

Sylvie: "Why aren't we seeing this the same way?"
Loki: "Because you can't trust. And I can't be trusted."

Mobius: "No turning back now."
Hunter B-15: "Who said anything about turning back."
Mobius: "For all time."
Hunter B-15: "Always."

Loki: “Someone is coming. Countless different versions of a very dangerous person, and they’re all set on war. We need to prepare.” 

Edited July 14, 2021 by tv echo

[tv echo]

Quotes of the Week: Good Girls, Loki, Big Brother, Schmigadoon! and More
By Team TVLine / July 18 2021
https://tvline.com/lists/loki-finale-just-want-you-to-be-okay-best-tv-quotes/loki-want-you-to-be-okay-quote/

Quote

LOKI
...
“I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt what you feel. Don’t ask me how I know. All I know is I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just… I just want you to be OK.”

Loki (Tom Hiddleston) tries to reassure a skeptical Sylvie that he’s not going to betray her in their fight against He Who Remains

 

Edited July 19, 2021 by tv echo

[tv echo]

2021 in Review: Quotes of the Year!
By Team TVLine / December 19 2021
https://tvline.com/lists/best-tv-quotes-2021-memorable-lines-scenes/ 

Quote

LOKI
...
“You’ll do well to respect the boy. This is his kingdom.”

“Right. What was your nexus event, Your Majesty?”

“I killed Thor.”

Kid Loki (Jack Veal) drops the proverbial Mjölnir on his skeptical counterpart (Tom Hiddleston)

LOKI (Bonus Quote!)
...
“I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt what you feel. Don’t ask me how I know. All I know is I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want a throne. I just… I just want you to be OK.”

Loki (Tom Hiddleston) tries to reassure a skeptical Sylvie that he’s not going to betray her in their fight against He Who Remains

 

Edited December 20, 2021 by tv echo