There Once Was A Merle From Nantucket: The Walking Dead Limericks

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Why are you walking out that door?

Tell me, you orange furred ape!

I have other options to explore,

Need a new helper to manscape.

I always spread for you and now you want more?

Just for spite, I'm gonna go hook up with the resident hair-like-Snape.

Stability is such a goddamned bore,

To turbulent, possibly lonely, times I must escape!

[AngelaHunter]

Zombie nose not right?

Rick goes bam bam bam bam bam

Is that a problem?

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Dead eye stare.

Fists in face.

What?

[Nashville]

A burly carrot-top named Abe

Was shacked up with a razor fine babe.

But then Abe hit the street

In search of dark meat.

Idiot - I'd rather make Rosita outgrabe.

[AngelaHunter]

I'd rather make Rosita outgrabe.

 

Are you calling Rosita a mome rath?

 

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

[PeterPirate]

A big fight ensues

Under a satellite dish

Where are the Ewoks?

[Nashville]

Are you calling Rosita a mome rath?

 

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

So my rhyme took me down a strange path

And my use of outgrabe has stirred wrath.

But I'll still hold my line

That Rosita is fine

And yeah - I'd mome the shit outta that rath.

;>

[AngelaHunter]

Rosita, mome rath?

Abe, flame-headed Jabberwock

Burbl'd as he came

 

Ew

[PeterPirate]

'Ware the Jabberwock,

My son. The claws that catch will

Ruin your haiku

[CletusMusashi]

Abe is a walrus

Alone, with no carpenter

to tend to his wood

 

In a sea of shit

he swims through bad metaphors

in search of oysters

[PeterPirate]

Rick said that Lori

Grilled up godawful pancakes 

Only on Sundays

 

With lumpy Bisquick

It is a miracle that

Carl was ever born

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Bisquick makes Carl

Frog legs create Judith

Michonne, you hungry?

[CletusMusashi]

So by that logic

we will get Daryl Junior

from half a white rabbit

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Not quite sure

It could be a cross

Between opossum & skunk?

[CletusMusashi]

Carol is sad now

Why must she dwell on her past?

Morgan's got her goat

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Please run

Nope, won't do

Making out with a growler

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Paula, Paula, why didn't you run?

Don't you know how deadly Carol is with a gun? 

Instead you found yourself sadly impaled.

Bite after bite, your death entailed.

[AngelaHunter]

Have you forgotten

Daryl's worm? Gulp, down the hatch.

Skunk is haute cuisine.

 

[CletusMusashi]

Why are roses red?

Why are dingleberries brown?

Abe sucks at love poems.

[AngelaHunter]

On another forum we used to take the last line of the previous poster's haiku and make a new one. Here's a (poor) example, if anyone wishes to try.

 

Abe sucks at love poems.

Cuz Abe is a motherdick

Bisquick euphemism sucks too.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Bisquick euphemism sucks, too,

but so does no more food. Sorry,

Judith, here's acorns.

[CletusMusashi]

"Judith, here's acorns."

"I don't eat those raw no more!

Put 'em in cookies!"

[Watcher0363]

Put 'em in cookies!

Bent her like a fajita!

Abraham talks sex?

[AngelaHunter]

Abraham talks sex?

Some new ass for dolphin rides?

Abe, your talk is smooth

Edited March 18, 2016 by AngelaHunter

[Nashville]

Abe, your talk is smooth

Except when Rosita cries.

Dolphin THIS, asshole.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

"Dolphin THIS asshole!"

Sasha says. Girl fight ensues.

Wouldn't that be nice?

 

(Changed the punctuation for a slightly different meaning. Hope that's not cheating lol

Edited March 19, 2016 by SpaghettiTuesdays

[CletusMusashi]

Abe, your talk is smooth

Except when Rosita cries.

Dolphin THIS, asshole.

I'm claiming my once-in-a-whatever thang to give extra thumbs up.

[paigow]

Abe, your talk is smooth

Are Yoda inversions allowed?  

 

Smooth your talk is Abe

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Wouldn't that be nice?

Withheld feelings, then

Died for a Crush-ing opine.

[CletusMusashi]

"What's on your mind, doc?"

"Self actualization...

and... something pointy..."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Hi, my name's Denise,

Hang on, there's something in my eye.

I'm getting (to) the point, Sir Grease,

As I continue to speechify while I die.

Edited March 26, 2016 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[CletusMusashi]

Eugene is well trained

in the great Japanese art

of hot dog eating

[Nashville]

...of hot dog eating?

Is that truly Japanese?

I thought Lower Broad.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Lunch forgotten,

Eugene felt peckish.

Satisfied meat craving.

[PeterPirate]

The group is saddened

They mourn because they took an 

Arrow in da knees

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Psychological profiling

Timing not so great.

Crossbow-ned.

[Nashville]

Railroad tracks in open?

Not best place for monologue.

Denise? She got the point.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Don't you get it?!

This was proving myself.

Death becomes me.

[AnnaMayWong]

Yeah, Sasha, you, too, are mighty fine,

Abe--he came for ya with a whine.

Use him real good and, Oh (❗), very rude

Then CURB that mo'fo' dude

So, he will no longer be thine.

[CletusMusashi]

Motorcycle? Found.

Crossbow? Found, shortly after.

Shower? Still searching.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

You are brave & strong.

You are alone.

The point struck quickly.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Do as I say,

Nobody leaves ASZ...

ran off with half the group.

Edited March 30, 2016 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Daryl, stop.  Fine,

whatever; we out... or not. 

Stupidity is contagious.

Sasha smiling.

Abe's cigar in her pocket.

Rosita gags.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

30 seconds to credits.

Batter up.

Splitting headache.

Edited April 4, 2016 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[Mu Shu]

Oh Here is Neegan

Say hello to my lil friend

You picked a fine time

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Lucille made a friend.

Only, who was it? If we 

could know. Stupid show.

Edited April 8, 2016 by SpaghettiTuesdays

[Nashville]

You picked a fine time to bean me, Lucille

When Negan and crew have forced all us to kneel.

I've lived through walkers

But these Saviors are talkers

And barbed wire leaves wounds that won't heal.

You picked a fine time to bean me, Lucille.

[walnutqueen]

You picked a fine time to bean me, Lucille

When Negan and crew have forced all us to kneel.

I've lived through walkers

But these Saviors are talkers

And barbed wire leaves wounds that won't heal.

You picked a fine time to bean me, Lucille.

 

Can't remember the poster's name, but their song parody was "You picked a fine time to cleave me, Lucille", which had me in stitches.  :-)

[CletusMusashi]

And of course, back in the late 70s, Frank Zappa wrote a song called "Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up..."

[Mu Shu]

Maybe the reveal

Shows Darryl taking a bath

That would shock many